The Harland Highway - 734 - Harland gets an angry phone call. No BLACKS at the Oscars again?

Episode Date: January 21, 2016

One of the Pavement Pounders is upset with Harland and leaves the Podcast in a most unusual way. Professor Rutherford Grimes with his analysis of another Oscar shut out for African Americans. Fast food chain that loses sight of what fast food is. Food is rude!!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome everybody to the Harland Highway. I want to suck your ears. I don't want to suck your ears. I just want to borrow your ears. I want to use your ears so I can put this podcast in your ears. Okay, cool. Hopefully you'll enjoy it. What a podcast we have today. Oh, my God. An angry, an angry listener calls in a pavement pounder is getting off the Harland Highway. He's very upset with me. do you hear this call? Ouch, it hurts, but I got to play it. Also, we are going to be, we're going to be having a crazy news story. I'm really pissed off about something. It's a fast food story, and boy, do I get fired up. I don't usually swear, but I curse up a storm on this one. I'm not happy.

And also, Professor Rutherford Grimes will be calling in from Berkeley University, he's a professor who studies African American and black culture. And once again, the black community has been shut out of the Oscars this year. And Dr. Professor Rutherford Grimes is going to be calling in to kind of tell us why this is reoccurring. Why this happened again. It happened last year and now this year. So I can't wait to see what he says. Let's do this.

This is the Harland Highway. What am I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What you're talking about words? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh God, what's happening here? What's happening? Hey, Harlan. It's Shelley.

You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. Yeah. That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway.

What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic.

The Harland Highway. Crazy news stories. That's weird. Wow. That's strange stuff. Okay. Okay. This, oh man, this story isn't only crazy.

This story gets, this story makes me mad. Listen to this. Here's the headline on this crazy news story. Chick-fil-A, you all know Chick-fil-A, the fast food joint, right? And please note I said fast food. Chick-fil-A says goodbye to Coleslaw. Hello to kale, K-A-L-E, K-A-L-E, Kale. Are you kidding me?

This is no word of a lie. I'm not a, who likes Kohl-Slaw? Who cares about Kohl-Slaw? Who-D-D-Kohl-Slaw? But for whatever reason, Chick-Fillet made really good Kohl-Slaw. It was like creamy and it was kind of yummy. Like I kind of looked forward to the Kohl-Slaw as much as I looked forward to the chicken. And so the other night, I was craving some fast food, but I didn't really want fast food.

You ever have one of those moments where you're like, oh, man, I feel like a burger, but then when you visualize eating it, you go, I really don't feel like a burger, you know? And so the tipping point for me was, well, I don't really want the fast food, but I should like some of that coleslaw, that Chick-fil-A coleslaw, because it's kind of creamy and yummy. me and it's sort of healthy because it's you know it's chopped up vegetables cabbage and lettuce and yeah there's like creamy mayonnaise type dressing on it but at least you're getting some vegetables so as god is my witness i really wanted the coleslaw more than i wanted the chicken it the coleslaw actually tastes really good so you know it's one of the few places

I ever go that I order any kind of salad or vegetable or anything. I never do that, okay? So I roll into the drive-thru and I pull up, and lo and behold, they say, oh, yeah, we're all sold out of Coleslaw. We don't sell that. And I was mystified. I was like, how do you be sold out of Coleslaw? So I just said I must have just caught them at the wrong time

And I came home and I was kind of bummed Yeah, I had Coleslaw depression, man That's right It happens, it's a syndrome Yeah, people, there's all kinds of depression Postpartum depression There's depression when you return from the battlefield There's depression, dark depression, suicidal depression

And there's Coleslaw depression And I went into a deep slah. I went into a deep, deep sloppression. That's what it's called, it's called sloppression. Anyway, so I pull up, they don't have it, and then like two days later I see this article, Chick-fil-A says goodbye to Coleslaw, hello to kale. Here's the story.

A week after Chick-fil-A broke the news to fans that it was discontinuing Coleslaw, And that's where I, you know, they broke the news to me right in the drive-thru line through the speaker. Yeah, I'd like some Kohl-Slaw, please? Yeah, we're sorry, sir. We don't have any about Kohl-Slaw. What? We don't know about Kohl-Slaw, Sam. We're just, we're sorry. Did you say you don't have any more Kohl-Slaw?

It's right, you fucking idiot. Take the wax out of your fucking is. No more fucking Kohl-Slaw. All right, relax. So Chick-fil-A announced a healthier alternative dubbed the superfood side. Remember, this is a fast food place. The new salad is stuffed with chopped kale and brocolini, tossed in a maple vinaigarette dressing,

topped with dried sour cherries. It has a packet of walnuts, almonds, and pecans on the side for nut lovers. The side dish checks off superfood boxes, with its kale, broccoli, dried sour cherries, and walnuts. I'm at fucking chick-fil-A. I'm not at the Waldorf.

I'm not at Morton's Steakhouse. I'm not eating dinner with the King of Jordan, you assholes. I don't want fucking kale and broccoli. Why do I want kale? Doesn't that shit grow in the ocean? What am I a leopard seal? What am I a goddamn,

walrus or a penguin? Why don't you just bring me some mashed up octopus turn too? Good Lord, this is fast food. Well, sir, don't get upset, okay? The chop kale has a brocolini tossed in a maple vinegaret dressing.

And it doesn't stop there, sir. It's topped with dried sour cherries and a packet of walnuts, almonds, and pecans, case you're a nut lover. How about we top it off with a big fucking pile of fuck off?

I'm sorry. I know I don't usually swear, ladies and gentlemen, but what the fuck? I want some creamy ass coal slaw from a fast food joint. What do? Is there a drive-through at Ruth Chris Steakhouse all of a sudden?

Is there a drive-thru at the Rich Carlton? Yeah, and with that kale salad, bring me a fucking pheasant under glass, some fucking broiled lobster tails. And I don't know, how about a $5,000 dish of caviar, asshole? Okay, sir, drive through. Yeah, right. Come on. Here goes the rest of the other.

The superfood side is not something you would expect to see at a fast food. food restaurant. Yeah. Hello. You just lost a customer. And we're thrilled to kick off 2016 with something that can help people stick to their New Year's resolutions and eat healthfully. Doesn't the fact that I'm in a drive-through fucking drive-thru tell you that I'm not looking to eat healthfully and I've already broken my resolution? Just because you got to kill salad. It doesn't mean I'm not drinking your milkshake and eating your fat fucking fried chicken covered with cheese and mayonnaise, dip shit. Unbelievable. Chick-fil-A's vice president of menu strategy and development.

See, that's the problem right there. David Farmer, Chick-fil-A's vice president of menu strategy and development. What the hell is that? It's fast food. First of all, you don't even have the right to say menu. It's just shit on a board. You got the fried chicken with cheese. You got the double fried chicken.

You got the chocolate brownie fudge cake and the frozen frosty, chocolate or vanilla. That's a menu? That's just shit up on a board. Good Lord. Do they have to, like, pricify everything? Menu strategy and development. What even strategy and development? Fry the fucking chicken, pimple face?

Yeah, that, you guess what's on the menu? Guess what the name of our plate? Chick-fil-A, guess what's on the menu? Chicken! You know what the strategy is? You dip it in the oil and fry it, pimple-face. Oh, my God. Here's a quote from this guy. Customers who have tried, customers have tried it rave about having an option that's incredibly healthy where you don't have to sacrifice great taste.

Yeah, boy, I can't wait to get the great taste of fucking seaweed in my mouth. You know, I've always wondered what a whale fart tastes like. Can you give me another bowl of that kale shit? chick filet where the signature sandwich and french fries still are deep deep fat freed deep fat fried has other healthy options including grilled chicken fruit cups and salads yeah and what percentage of your fast food customers eat that crap It says it right there. They're deep fat fried. The kale salad was developed in collaboration with the Atlanta Bay chef.

Oh, now there's a fucking chef on board, everyone. Chef Ford Frye of Ford Fry restaurants. The fucking guy's got the name Fry in his name. And on top of that, it's a drive-thru. His first name's Ford. Like in the car. This guy This is the fucking guy?

Chick-fil-A official said This is the first time an outside chef Has partnered with the chain To introduce a new menu item Well, whoopee fucking do. A chef, huh? Gee, I wonder who the chef is Over at Burger King

Who prepared my wopo with cheese. This wopal with cheese Is simply smashing Would you please give my compliments to the chef? Or if he's not around, I see a fat, pimply-faced, overweight fuckhead back there. I mean, come on! Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex?

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So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Oh, here's the chef. I really enjoyed working with the culinary team from Chick-fil-I. The culinary team? What reality are we in? This is a fucking fast food place that sells deep-fried chicken for like $3.25. What kind of warped world have I walked into? I really enjoyed working with the culinary team from Chick-fil-A

on incorporating ingredients that are unique to the industry. Yeah, because no other fucking restaurant wanders around on the beach raking up sea-fucking seaweed. Yeah, excuse me, waiters, there's a conch shell in my salad. Yeah, excuse me, waiter, there's like a fucking sea snake in my salad. Fry said we know that it can be challenging to eat healthy on the go so we wanted to create something that customers will love eating that's also nutritious you know what douchebag chicken is actually nutritious

okay and guess what else is nutritious fucking coleslaw so it's a little creamy I'm still getting all my greens that grew in the dirt They didn't wash up on the shore with the used heroin needles and the crushed Coke cans. The superfood. Oh, now it's a superfood. How about a super shit food? It debuts January 18th nationwide in two sizes, five ounces for 259 and eight ounces for 379.

It will also be able to be substituted for fries. and a combo meal for additional 98 cents. 140 calories and 7 grams of fat. Who cares? I'm at a fast food place. I want my food fat. This is as ridiculous as the day when McDonald's stopped cooking their french fries in animal fat

because a small pocket of health nuts and a small pocket of people that are so concerned for everybody else's health raised the alarm bells that McDonald's was cooking French fries and animal fat, which, by the way, tasted delicious. So McDonald's succumbing to the pressure of these little groups decided to deep fry their French fries in some kind of trans fat-free, transvestite, trans fat oil. And their French fries have never tasted as good.

It stopped me from going to McDonald's more than I used to. I mean, McDonald's is another example. You look at their menu now. It's like grilled chicken and walnut salads. And where the hell am I? I don't know. Oh, man. Oh, everything's just getting so prissy.

God bless all the burger places that just stick to fast food. If it's not healthy, we know about it. Guess what we want it. Okay? If we want healthy food, we go get healthy food at the healthy food place. Have you ever been to like a wheatgrass bar or a, you know, a yogurt, you know, yogurt bar or a granola place or a health food store and they're selling like granola and seaweed and wheatgrass, and you say, hey, by the way, I just bought a bunch of

wheatgrass, some granola, and some, you know, fucking oats. But you wouldn't happen to have a glass of bacon grease and a cheeseburger while I'm here, would you just, you know, because I want an option? No. So guess what? Let me read this headline again. Chick-fil-A say goodbye to coal. Kohl'slaw hello to kale.

How about Chick-fil-A says goodbye to a customer who liked the Kohl-Slaw and fuck the kale? There, I rest my case. And again, I apologize for the profanities, but as you can see, I'm pissed. Just leave stuff alone, man. Leave good stuff alone. Idiots. Hello? Hello?

Hey Harland. I want to say thank you for all the laughs. Thank you. But unfortunately I'm feeling like pulling off this highway. I've had enough about your non-humorous, depressing opinions about the world. There's a lot of good to look at, and I hope you can find it. I'm going to do what I've told you before and leave the echo of negativity to its original action, if need be. I don't need their negativity going through my head

I don't appreciate it coming from you I know you have listeners who enjoy your podcast but they don't know you like I know you you're a good person who needs to make others laugh while you make yourself laugh that's your prime I think you maybe need to be reminded that you're more loved than hated so why let their hate get to you

and become a way of your thoughts and thinking matters Okay. And then I don't know what happened here. Do you hear him? It sounds like he drove underwater or something. It's like he was driving along or I don't know where he is. And all of a sudden, his messages started, I didn't tamper with it digitally or anything. The audio, it just sounded like he was in a car and drove, was slowly driving under a lake. And it sounds like maybe I drove him there. Like he said he's driving off the Harland Highway,

and he said I was depressing him. And wow. So as I sit here and always am looking to gain listeners, I get it that sometimes I lose them. And I have to live with losing listeners, and I respect this gentleman for not wanting to listen anymore. That's his prerogative. his choice.

But what I do have to make issue with is that, you know, my podcast, when I'm not ranting against Chick-fil-A is, for the most part, very upbeat and positive. Now, I do admit sometimes I go off on tangents and sometimes I do, you know, delve into the sad state of affairs that are in the world. sometimes I'll talk about something that's depressing or tough to listen to. But I would say that's 10% of my podcast. I'd say 90%, 85% of the time, it's comedy.

I'm trying to make you guys laugh. It's silly. It's fun. So I'm kind of sad that this guy's perception of my podcast is is so dark and dower and grim. And it's his choice if he wants to drive underwater and get away from it. I can't argue that, and I actually respect the phone call. I like hearing this kind of feedback, whether it's, you know, I don't want to be praised

all the time. I like hearing when people don't like something. It helps to inform me, and I just like hearing opinions. And it doesn't mean I'm going to change what I do. but I do like to hear what's on your mind. But, you know, just to set the record straight, my podcast is primarily very upbeat and positive. That's just who I am.

That's the way I am. I don't like the negative stuff either. But that being said, we live in a world that has some negative things and some dark things. And guess what? I like to talk about those sometimes. And sometimes I think they need.

to be talked about and so as i've said to all my listeners uh all the time throughout the years they said you know if there's anything i like to do on this podcast it's all it's to offer up food for thought it's to offer offer up the unexpected and so you know five minutes of my show could be uh me talking about uh you know rusty doorknobs or chick fillet or doing the voice of Aunt Ruthie. And then I might be talking about, you know, the topic of suicide. So unfortunately, for me and this guy, I lose a listener, which makes me sad because, you know, I feel like he's not being fair with his assessment of what I present.

But if he perceives as what I do as very negative and dark and upsetting, I can't change his mind. mindset. And like I said, I respect his opinion to leave if he wants to leave. But the facts, if you go back and listen to all my podcast over 700 episodes, you, if you listen to all of them from top to bottom, 90% is upbeat, positive, fun, silly, interpretive, informative, maybe, what have you. So I'm not going to stop doing that because that's part of what I like to do. I like to offer that up to my listeners. And, you know, nobody in the entertainment world, no broadcaster, no podcaster, no TV host, no writer, no singer. They can't always give you exactly what you want to hear because everybody has beliefs and opinions.

And what you have to do is decide if you like to hear what someone says. You know, let's say you love John Cougar Mellencamp and you're listening, you know, you listen to six, 600 of his songs, and number 601 is an anti-Vietnam song. And as it turns out, your dad was in Vietnam and gave his service to the country. Suddenly you hate John Cougar Mellencamp? You refuse to, I'm never listening to John Cougar Mellencamp again, because he sang a song that went against Vietnam, and my daddy was in Vietnam. Well, you just robbed yourself of all the richness of everything else he had to offer.

Now, if you had phone me and said, Harland, I hate everything you do, I hate, I hate your comedy, I hate your jokes, I hate your writing, I hate the voices you do, I hate your opinions, I hate everything you do, I'm getting out of here, I'd be like, yeah, man, go, you should go. Why did you listen to me in the first place? But for you to come on here and say, I've been listening to your show for a while, a long time,

and, you know, there's too many negative things on here. Well, I think, I think, you know, that's not a fair assessment. But like I said, I do appreciate you hearing your voice. I wish I could have heard the rest of your message because I think it would have been even more informative. But somehow you drove underwater or something. I don't know if you went through a car wash or you went and it's a fellow. I sincerely just visualized you like driving into a lake.

I'm going to just play that part again. You maybe need to be reminded that you're more loved than hated. So why let their hate get to you and become a way of your thoughts? Did you hear it? It just kind of like started going underwater. It's all muffled. Listen. He's fighting for air.

In all honesty, what happened is I think you might have dropped your phone or you put it too close to your chin or something muffled it up. But I would have liked to have heard the rest. And, you know, I hear the passion in your voice. I like it that you said, in all reality, you're more loved than you are hated. And I almost wonder if sometimes how you were like psychologically analyzing me and somehow felt that I was angry or bitter towards the world or something, which again is totally not factual.

I always try to look for the positive silver lining and things, the upbeat side of things. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to comment or report on things that I see that are negative. You know, and I will always talk about negative things, but maybe try and find the positive and a negative. So whatever, just, you know, I get all kinds of, of phone calls here. I love to get them. And if anyone else has anything to say like that,

feel free. I don't care. It's water off my back. In fact, I shouldn't even say it's water off my back. It's not water. I absorb everything you guys say. I will absorb this guy's words, and I will take them to heart. And it felt like there was a little pain and sadness in his voice. And I will dissect and analyze and interpret what he had to say, but I won't let it affect me to the degree that I'm not going to do what I do. But I don't need a bunch of ass kissing and, oh, you're the greatest. I'm just as comfortable with people pointing out faults and blemishes and criticisms. That's all part for the course, man. So, hey, I appreciate Appreciate the call.

I hope your car came up the other side of the lake and you're back on dry land. I hope maybe if you ever hear this, you come back to the highway and don't abandon it because, like I said, my main mission is to just make you guys have a laugh and make you smile. So there you go. I rest my case and I'm angry. No, I'm not. Let's move on. Let's move on and let's get to some of that funny, shall we? Some of that funny, positive stuff.

Yeah. Although, you know, I don't know how positive this is. We, you know, Martin Luther King Jr. Day was just, you know, earlier this week. And the Oscars are also coming up. And last year, if you remember, the Oscars kind of shut out African Americans. There were barely any African Americans nominated or put up for Oscars. And it looks like it's happened again this year where virtually like no African Americans were put up for nominations, it seems. And last year we had a professor Rutherford Grimes from Berkeley,

Berkeley University in Northern California up there near San Francisco. he's a professor of African-American studies, African-American cultures, black culture. He studies of black history. He's just, you know, he's made a career out of studying and understanding black and African-American culture. And last year he called in, you know, to talk to us about why black people were shut out of the Oscars. It was a very stimulating conversation, very revealing, a little bit startling. And Roger's telling me we have Dr. Rutherford Grimes on the line again. And I guess we're going to get into this conversation again because it's not, it's probably not a good one.

Okay, Roger Tell him he's on line four. Stop. Do you know how fast you were going? I'm going to have to write you a ticket to my new movie. The Naked Gun Liam Nissan Buy your tickets now and get a free

Chili Dog Not included The Naked Gun Tickets on sale now August 1st Yeah Okay Let's put them through

Here we go Hello there Professor Grimes Hello How are you Doing good Professor Ladies and gentlemen

This is Professor Rutherford Grimes from uh from uh berkeley u up in northern california uh hollany it's a pleasure to be here and i'm delighted to be able to talk to you and interact with you and your audience today yes sir well we appreciate your time we know you're a busy man uh let's cut right to the chase it sounds like uh you know the the Oscars have done it again uh just like they did last year Absolutely, Hollard. And it is a deeper disappointment.

It's disconcerting. And once again, it is a blemish on the Oscar organization to, for lack of a better term, shut out, talented African-American director, actors, producers, and writers just to shut them out. I call it the Flintstone cat syndrome, Holland. What do you mean the Flintstones cat syndrome? If you watch the old Flintstone cartoon at the end of the cartoon, you see the Flintstones, they pushed the cat outside the door of their little house and slam the door and lock it out. And this is what the Oscar done to the African-American, you know,

talent community. Yeah, boy, you know, last year I thought, okay, it's an anomaly that, you know, look, you shouldn't vote for someone based on skin color. You should vote for a talent based on what they put up on screen, right? That's absolutely 100% correct. We're not, you know, in the African community, we're not looking for any favors. I mean, God knows, you know, the black man, the African-American man. not looking for a handout, okay?

But we do feel that there's a high, high caliber of black talent in this year's crop of films and television shows and what have you. There's no doubt about that. I think a lot of people are a little startled by it. And, I mean, what do you attribute this to, Dr. Rutherford? Well, Hollard, you know what? I do a lot of intensive studies.

studies. We follow logarithms. We monitor social patterns. We even check him with places like the Nielsen's rating. We do independent studies, focus groups. And all my data seems to be attributed to one common thread. Holland, everything come back to one common denominator. Okay, so you've done some intense research, and you feel that somehow you can pinpoint why the African-American community has been shut out of the Oscars? Absolutely. Now, Harlan, have you ever heard of this, he's a prominent, talented African-American actor? He's a jewel in the crown of the African-American actor. American talent pool.

Who are you referring to, Professor? I'm talking about the actor who's won Oscars, been nominated for authors. Forrest Whitaker. Are you familiar with him? Well, yes, Sir, Forrest Whitaker,

the wonderful actor, he has won Oscars. He's a treasure. Are you familiar with Forrest Whitaker's left eye? You know, Professor, you kind of went down this trail last year where you kind of said that Forrest Whitaker's left eye, which is very often, and I don't know why, is swollen sometimes, and it kind of sags shot over his eyeball. Absolutely, Hallard.

You know, his right eye, nice crystal clear, a big round, almost like an owl up in a table. Trigger, a big round, clear, wonderful right eye. But, Harlan, if you look at Forrest's Wicker's left eye, and I say look at it if you can't because it's hard to see. I mean, his eyelid, it sagged down, it flapped down over his eyeball. It's almost impossible to see his left eye at some points in time. Well, Professor, what is your point with the left eye thing? where there's a direct correlation with the success of the African community

and Forrest Whedeker's left eye. I think he's seen his left eye. It looked like he was someone jumped up on him in a back alley and just took to his left eye with a crowbar just swinging the crowbar back and forth smashing up his left eye so it all bagged up and all puffed up. Yes, yes, Professor, but what is that his left eye have to do with the Oscars? Well, Holland, it seems it, and again, this traces back to my studies now, extensive studies that not only my findings, but my staff and my faculty,

we have found inconclusive evidence, Holland, that every time Fours, Whitaker's left eye get all puffed up, uh or go half shut uh the african-american community have a rough time so you're saying and i find this hard to believe sir but you're the professor here you're the expert you're saying if forest whittaker's left eye is healthy and open that's right it looked like an owl like his right eye look like he got a couple of owl eyes like he's got owl eyes that the African-American community on a whole is in good shape and good standing, socially. They seem to have less problems, whether they be economic or sociological problems.

Exactly. When Fulis Whitaker have a healthy eye, the African community, the African-American community, the African-American community have a healthy disposition, Now, his eye now, I mean, it looked like maybe Falls Whitaker was out fishing with some friends or, you know, standing on the edge of a river, and maybe, you know, he hooked into a big old speckled trout, and maybe sometimes a fisherman pull his fishing line so hard, Holland, that the fish come flying right out the river and smack a man right in the face. And in this case, it looked like a big old speckled trout came just, flying out of the river and smack force Whitaker right in the left eye and just puff it all up with it with fish juice and uh you know scales and just uh fish oil and his eye just puff okay i think we we get it uh professor or maybe a you know maybe a bigger fish a predatory uh fish like a muscalo um just a maybe he he wouldn't even fishing for that fish but it looked like he was standing over a body or water and about you know maybe a

of the 90, 100-pound musculungers jump up and pop them right in the left eye. I mean, musculunger, they call them the sharks of fresh water, and sometimes they'll come up and take a duck from right off the surface of the water, and then maybe, and this is it, I can't prove this, but maybe Falls Whitaker was standing on the edge of a lake making a wish or maybe skipping a rock, calling. And that big old 90-pound musculon, she come up out of the, weeds and see that puff-up eye, just maybe it looked like a turkey egg or a, or maybe it

looked like a, you know, a big giant fish egg and that old muskler jump up and bite his eye meat and just plug on the side of his eye and just pull his eye all out and, you know, just puff it up. Okay, sir. I'm not sure that the reason that there's no African-Americans in the Oscars this year is because Forrest Whitaker's eye is his eyelid is hanging down over his eye. Well, Harley, you know, I'm not one to dispute my own research. Now, if you want me to send you any of this data to verify my findings,

but it is a well-known fact that earlier this year, Forrest Whitaker, did go to Spain and did attend the running of the Bulls. I think there's some video footage on YouTube where Fawles Whitaker was running with the bulls, and he tripped, and he fell down, and those bulls, normally they pick a man up on his horns and throw them in the air, but it looked like a five or six bull just went out of their way to stomp his left eye. It looked like they brought their hoofs down on his left eye. It looked like they smashed their horn, they brought their heads down, and tried to. to stab up his left, I pumped it all up, just like, look like shredded the bat, like

someone put a pack of bacon in a helicopter blade or something. Would you, sir? I've got to believe there's, there's different data that concludes as to why the African-Americans were shut out of the Oscars. Are you telling me that Forrest Whitaker's eye was trampled in the running of the Bulls? because his eye is saggy, that's the reason that the African-American... That's exactly my point, Mr. Williams. And, you know, I love Fawkes-Wittaker.

The African-American community, especially the creative act of an American community, the actors, the directors, the Spike Lee, everyone like that. We hold Fawles Whittaker up on a pedestal. This is a man of great artistic accomplishment. and to see the African-American community a falter because his eye looked like he was underwater and snorkeling on a coral reef and a giant Moray eel came out

and swam up to his eye and did it and just tugged on his eye meat. Sir, I think maybe we might have to just conclude right here. I'm not sure that this is verifiable and this is really factual. I mean, it looked like, and this is tragic, but it looked like, have you ever seen an avalanche, Mr. Williams, when the rocks come tumbling down the hill?

And it looked like maybe a big old boulder, maybe the size of a Volkswagen Beetle just came up bouncing down the hill and bouts and bouts, and bouts, and bouts, hit the tarmac, rolled up, bounce up off the road, and poor Forrest Whitaker was standing at the bottom, And the giant rock hit him right in the left eye. And his eye get all popped up and bruised and just puffed up like a giant.

Sir, thank you. We have to go. Or maybe his eye looked like a, you ever seen a prolapse? Sir, goodbye. A pro laps. Good, good Lord. Did you get, did he say a prolapse at the end? Good Lord.

Oh, my God. I don't know. Is he gone? Okay, good. Geez. Listen, I appreciate an educated opinion. God knows that Rutherford Grimes, Professor Rutherford Grimes, is way smarter than I am. But I just don't know if I think he had the same argument last year. And to equate the healthiness, the robustness of the African-American community in direct correlation to how much Forrest Whitaker's left eye is sagging or not sagging.

I just find that a bit preposterous. I'm sorry. Call me skeptical. I mean, he did present compelling arguments. It sounds like he had done a lot of research, but I just don't know if I go along with it. If there's any African-American people, pavement pounders, listening to the show,

If you have any feedback on this, maybe you side with Rutherford Grimes. Maybe you can illuminate me even more on Forrest Whitaker's left eye. Or maybe you want to challenge the professor. I don't know, but I'm asking if there's any African-American listeners, pavement pounders, I would really appreciate some feedback. Please call the show. because I don't want to sit here feeling like I'm confused. 323-739, 43330.

You know, chime in on this, my African-American friends. 3-2-3-739-433. And I'm going to leave it right there. His eye looked like a pro... For those of you that don't know what a prolapse is, you might want to, you know, look in the dictionary. area. I mean, that is just, wow. Okay, we're going to end it there because, you know, I'm a little rattled and I don't know that there's anything else to say after that.

But if you do want to call me, 323739, 43330 is the number. You can write me at harlornwilliams.com. We have a contact link at harlomwiliams.com and the phone numbers there for the phone. Or if you want, you can just download the Harland Highway app on your cell phone for free. Go to the app store, type in the Harland Highway. And on the app, you'll see the phone number. You'll see the contact link. You'll be able to listen to the most current 50 episodes of the show, absolutely free.

And then if you want special material, including my other podcast, let's have a fight. And we do have some good fights coming up. you won't want to miss, $20 a year, a year, not a month, a year, for premium content only. And there's a lot of great premium content. You'll be pissed if you miss out on it. So $20 a year. That's like less than a big bowl of, you know, maybe three bowls of chick-fil-a-cale salad. Do us a favor.

spend your money on something useful. But while you're there at harlunwilms.com, please check out our merch store. We have hilarious t-shirts. We have artwork. We have DVDs, movies, digital downloads, comedy albums, comedy DVDs, my comedy, stand-up comedy specials. So much stuff at Harlan Williams.com. Please check it out.

And while you're there, please go. go to my link for my stand-up tour because that begins in February. Yes, indeed. I'll be at the improv, February 3rd through the 7th, or sorry, 3rd through the 6th at the Tampa Improv in Florida, February 3rd through the 6th, Tampa Improv. And then the very next weekend, February 11th through the 14th, I will be at the Orlando Improv. So a nice little run in Florida. And then at the end of the month, February 25th, I will be at the House of Comedy in Scottsdale, Arizona. Beautiful new club.

Great setting. Please get on board and start clicking on the links. Get your tickets. I'll be in Houston at the Improv March 10th to the 13th. So the stand-up tour is beginning. And I appreciate you guys that join the premium membership. And as I said, I do appreciate that gentleman's call. I truly am sorry that he feels there's too much negativity.

I'm sorry you feel that way, but I hope you guys are enjoying the laughter and the positivity and can deal whenever I do talk about some of the darker elements that play out in our crazy mixed-up world. but I'm not going to shape my show because someone likes or doesn't like something. I just got to do what I got to do. And if you like it, God bless you.

If you don't, I guess you've got to drive into a lake. But that's the way it is. Hey, thanks for being here, everybody. Hope you had a great time. And until next time, go get yourself some kale salad and chicken. Chau-Me. baby hey Harland I want to say thank you for all the laughs thank you