The Harland Highway - 742 - SPECIAL GUEST - ADAM CAROLLA on today's podcast.

Episode Date: February 18, 2016

Yes, ADAM CAROLLA is Harland's special guest today on the Harland Highway Podcast. Listen now for FREE!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Hockey Night in Canada. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, this isn't Hockey Night. This is the Harland Highway podcast is what it is. Thank you very much. Sorry for that false intro gang. There's nothing false about today's show. Oh my God, talk about podcast royalty. My special guest today is with me the whole show.

You could call him the King of Podcasts. This gentleman has probably had the number one podcast with the most listeners, the most followers, the most fans out of any other podcast out there. There might be a few that come close, three or four, but this gentleman's been in the lead for many, many years. he was one of the original pioneers of podcasting. Mr. Adam Carolla is my special guest today.

Adam is at the top of the podcast field. I am honored to have him as a guest on my show today. We're going to be talking about all kinds of things. We're going to be playing too soon or not too soon towards the end of the show. We're going to cover a whole range of topics. Adam's going to tell us if he believes in heaven or hell. and oh man it did you just listen Adam's a guy that has a deep wealth of knowledge

and he's going to share it with us today here on the Harland Highway Where am I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway What you're talking about words? Son, you got a panty on your head.

Shut up and sit down you big ball fuck. Oh God, what's happening here? What's happened? Hey, Harland, it shall leave. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard.

That is fantastic. What's wrong with everybody in this crazy place? The Harland Highway. What is it? Opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams.

You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Hey, everybody. This is Harlan. Arland Williams, you are rolling down the Harland Highway. And holy sweet Louisiana Crab Gumbo, what a treat we have today. Sweet and sour treat.

My special guest today, you know him from Adam Carolla.com. You know him from his movies, his documentaries, his TV shows. The one and only Ace, a.k.k.a. Adam Carola is a. on the Harlan Highway today. Hey, body. Hey, man. How are you? What's up? Uh, it's good. Busy. You know, it's a life. This is the earliest I've ever seen you in the morning. Like, I think your eyes are still puffy. Um, like an owl. Yeah, I go to bed with them puffy. I wake up with them puffy and then midday they're puffy as well. So I'm pretty puffed out most, most days. I, I, I got up early this morning, do some radio. Oh, so you've already done so. So your voice is like,

your voice is ready to go. Yeah, it is. It is a funny thing, though. Do you ever do that thing where you stay up late and then you get up early and then you sit down and then you call into the radio station and at 6.30 in the morning and realize you haven't spoken and you're up all night, you know, smoking crack and drinking out of a flask and doing rails off a hooker's ass. Come on.

It's true. Who says flask anymore? You get up in the morning. You get up and you start talking to boomer and floor wax. Yeah, chainsaw and Eddie. Nothing's coming out of your mouth. I know. You still got mung mouth, right?

Got mung mouth. You're all puffy. Do you want some puff cream before we get going or anything? Do you want a puffin from the Arctic Circle? I don't know gay slang, but yes, it would be the answer. All right, here we go. So we're going to talk to Adam today, and, you know, I wanted to get into some cool stuff because, you know, you always have a deep perception of everything.

and I thought maybe I would ask you, like, what does heaven look like? Like, when you get up there, is there like 7-Elevens? Is there tennis clubs? Where do people sleep? Where do people go to the bathroom? Like, what the hell? Everyone thinks we die and do we just float around? Like, what's up there, guy? Tell me. Well, for me, as an atheist, nothing. Oh, you're an atheist. Yeah, but nothing actually these days is actually kind of a good, I'm looking.

forward to nothing. Really? Because you work so hard. Yeah, I got a lot of something going on in my life all the time, and I'm sort of looking forward to nothing. Wait, if your kid comes up to you and goes, Daddy, what heaven looks like? You just say nothing to your kid? I'll say, I'll tell you what, daddy's going to take a nap. I want you to quietly take shoes off, sneak in his room in about 20 minutes, and then what you see me doing, that's what heaven looks like. That'll be heaven to daddy. too soon are you puffy when you do it no i lie i lie to my kids and you know tell them that uh my dog molly who we put down four months ago went over the rainbow bridge you know that whole the whole nine yards your dog was gay yeah that's what i'm saying wait a minute so you do know gay code

where did you where did things go wrong that you don't believe in in an after in god it sounds you know you're an atheist when did this happen i grew up in a world filled with nothing. Yeah. With people who had nothing, preached nothing, discussed nothing, and just was never part of my upbringing

and at any level with anybody in my sphere. And there wasn't much of a sphere going on at the Corolla House. It was a very limited sphere. Have you ever prayed? No. Have you ever felt a connection to a greater, bigger force than you?

Just Jimmy. Who's Jimmy Kimmel? Oh, so Jimmy's your God. No, it's just, that's the connection to the greater force. I want you to get connected to that. Have you been out in nature, haven't you? No, I travel in one of those Habit Trail hamster globes that was, yes, I've convened with nature. See, that's, I think that you might not know it, Mr. Carolla, but I think that's connecting to God.

You might have missed it, but you have. I got a dog. I got a black lab. The black lab is about six months old, and I took Phil, the black lab or Philly cheese steak, because I like to call him. That's a good name for him when he gets hit and he's roadkill. Yeah. Yeah. And what happened?

Extra provolone. I took him to Malibu, and I let him hit the beach for the first time ever last weekend, and he's a water dog, and he went berserk. That was heaven. He was heaven. Yeah. He was chasing seagulls. He was diving into the water. He was running out and digging holes in the tidal pools, you know.

And that to me, when I sort of would just watch this dog sort of go berserk. Yeah. For the first time, the dog had seen the ocean. And it was, and he's such a crazy water dog that, like, when my daughter takes a shower, he'll just jump into the shower with her. He showers with, does he do her hair and stuff? Does he wash her hair? He'll give her like a rinse and a repeat and a cuticle push and, you know, they'll talk about boys.

I wonder if they do fart bubbles. Well, not in the shower, but that's within the tub. If you're a water dog, you probably have a specialized dog asshole and you can do water bubbles standing up. Well, I don't, I'm not Caesar Milan, but. The dog whisperer. I think your audience is quite familiar with who Caesar Milan is. I know. It sounds like a salad.

Yeah. What a name. I'll have to Caesar Milan, please, with blue cheese sauce. I do think as we start melting everything together in 50 years when we bring up Caesar Milan's name, it's going to be like, he played the Joker and the original band-man, right? Or the riddler? Who was that guy? Yeah.

No, I'm not Caesar Milan. That's what I'm here to tell you. Yeah, yeah. And I don't have a crystal ball. I would love Caesar Milan to just shout at a dog, just like, scream. like the dog whisper just loses it and screams at the top of his lungs and the dog just blows up

don't you uh you ever listen you ever listen to those Saturday morning pet shows on AM radio do I and they say like somebody but whatever the fix is for the dog yeah like you call the expert yeah and it's way more trouble than like the expert's supposed to give you a tip

yeah like so they'll do this thing where they're like hi uh listen and they'll call like warren xstein yeah they'll call warren was he a nazi war criminal he fled okay he went to brazil warne xstein okay and they'll say um warren i have a schnauzer and my schnauzer will nip at some of the neighbors and can pull a little bit at him he's a little bit aggressive with some of the neighbors dogs and some of the neighbors and i take him for a walk every day and i'm scared he's going to bite one of the neighbors How do we remedy this problem? And Warren will be like, well, have you thrown a party for the dog?

What? And it'll go, uh, by the way, the answer is no, unless I'm criminally insane, what you should do is you should throw a party for the dog. You should invite all the neighbors, have them all bring a gift, a treat, an offering the dog. And it's like, this is a, yes, this would remedy this problem except where it's never going to happen on fucking planning. at earth. That's like idiots who wrap presents for their dogs at Christmas and think the dog's going to take its little hands and delicately unwrap

the Christmas present. No, but it's like saying my son is not doing well in math. Okay, well, why don't you pay an Asian tutor to work with him seven hours a day? It's like, well, it's not really a tip. Yeah.

I'd like to lose some weight. All right, we'll do nothing but drink stream water and do push-ups. Like, that's not a tip. Speaking of losing weight, is it, is it just me or is, is Marie Osmond like looking for it? Have you seen her on these, these, a Nutra Suite commercials or whatever? Like, everyone they do, do you want, have you seen her? Nutra system.

Newter, yeah, every commercial she just gets like trampier and traw like she's just, now she looks like a, like a ACDC groupie. She's like, are you chubby? Do you like to go to the back room and plow the drummer from it? She's just, like, getting trampy. I had not noticed that. Hot. I don't know Marie well. You will.

I'm very good friends with Jimmy, Osmond, however. You are? Very close. How big her teeth? Like, how fast could he buzz through a cedar tree? Oh, that's an unfair depiction of Jimmy. They have huge teeth. The Osmond's have giant teeth.

Yeah. Like, if they were fish, they'd be parrotfish. I'm not trying to insult your friend. Well, it's a little late for that. Well, I didn't give them the big teeth, sir. I got to tell you, he might come over here and pretend to play the trumpet in front of you like he used to do back in the Donnie Murray show back in the day. I saw that my first concert as a little boy ever was the Osmond's. Really?

Yeah, I saw Donny Osmond. And they brought little Jimmy out. He was like the bonus treat. I think he was still like in a cradle or something. Did he pretend to play the trumpet? I'm straight. Now, I want to tell you, I can really. late to your thing on the beach with the dogs, because I had, the first time I took my dogs to

the beach, it was wondrous. I know what you're saying. It, like, it was to see an animal that never would have got to the beach if it lived in the wild, because, you know, it was a dog, and my dog was anti-water. I had this really rare breed called a gindo, and they're very cat-like, and my dog would not even step on the grass in the morning if there was dew on it. And even the magic of the ocean he ran she ran into the ocean like it was such an enchanting moment to see this why and the glistening sand and your dogs running and getting excited by the i think you're right that is heaven a dog seeing the beach and the ocean for the first time is heaven you did have the answer it's probably you have the answer it's probably graced more greeting cards than any other

image a dog on the beach for the first time well for the first time i'm not sure if we the sand hymen on the dog but what i'm saying have you ever done doggy style on a beach that's interesting i mean that's that kind of a dog question no but next time i bring phil out there i'll definitely give it a whirl on your advice i'll have to explain to my wife whose idea this was and how i didn't want to disrespect harland by not obeying as very strict wishes good lord well let me ask you this if you don't if you don't think there's a heaven that's a hell that is heaven we found See, I said at the beginning, Adam would have the answer, and you did. Yes, that is heaven.

It's dogs on the beach for the first time experiencing the ocean. I totally agree. Yes, yes. And it should be a nice five-and-a-half-month-old lab that's just going berserk in the water. Yeah. Hell. What's hell look like? Hell.

What the hell's down there? I worked at a decorative box factory in Gardena. I was doing a remodel of it back when I was a carpenter, but the decorative box. Decorative box? Well, you know when you buy like your Estee Lauder products? I just pitch your pink with Christmas tinsel on her Brazilian.

Yeah. That's a decorative box to me. Come on. Was that what you mean? No, I'm saying like a floral arrangement. Yeah. Like a box. You worked in floral, you worked in the flower industry? Now, please listen. Okay. Because it's an important skill to have

as a podcast. You're saying box. Yes. I worked. as a carpenter, doing a remodel. Okay, got it. Tenant improvement is what they called it of offices that were in a decorative box factory. I needed to listen there, and I didn't, and then you roped me in, and I'm here. I got it.

Take a draw off your Fanta and recalibrate. Okay, got it. But even though you said all that, I'm still picturing Pink's Brazilian with Christmas Dents alone. Oh, she was there. That was the only good. part about the factory tour. So this was held to you? Is that your point? Well, as I went out to this, you know, 10,000 square foot facility and I walked into the back and I saw these poor husky Guatemalan middle-aged women with no life in their eyes, putting together these decorative

boxes that they would never receive. Dude, you should take those Guatemalan women and set them free on the beach. I should take them to the beach. Yeah. Anyways, go ahead. I'm listening. As I gaze, as I gaze, as I gazed out upon these super downtrodden women who are ironically putting together these super nice boxes for rich guys to buy their gumas, you know what I'm saying? What's a gumaz? It sounds like an art project. It's Italian for girlfriend on the side. Oh, I pictured some mother saying, Billy, finish your gumas, and we can show it to daddy when you get home.

Well, that's possible. Okay. It's not that that phrase has never been uttered, but gumma. Guam. Yeah, if you ever watch like the Sopranos, you've got to have the Guma on the side. Okay, thank you. But either way, hell to me is the city of Gardena, which is horrific. Wow.

And then working in a decorative box factory in the city of Gardena while these poor women just sort of sat there waiting to die. That's hell on earth, but do you believe in kind of that metaphysical hell where there's fire and brimstone and tortured souls and I mean is that a real thing in your mind or I don't know no I know I don't I don't believe in that I also don't I feel like fire and brimstone are redundant yeah because they're almost the same thing you got fire you got brimstone you got brimstone you got fire we don't need that and this what about if you ever been to a Kenny Rogers roasters yeah is that in there too like fire brimstone and Kenny Rogers roasters well I'd have to see it depends I can't remember how they do their potatoes.

I don't like thick-cut potatoes. Oh, really? I don't like wedge potatoes. So for me, that would be hell because I like a nice thin fry. Yeah. Old school, you know, McDonald's style. Have you ever, oh, yeah. Do you like curly fries?

I like curly fries, but I find them unnecessary. Yeah. Like, I feel like I've never eaten a McDonald's French fry and says, why isn't this thing springing back at me and shooting ketchup into my cornea? You know what I mean? Like, I've never really said, why is there, there's not enough give to these fries or I can't unfurl them and push them back into shape. Do you think they put hair spray on them to keep them curled? Like, is there someone back there in the kitchen with a curling iron, like doing them by hand?

I'll tell you what. We hand curl our own curly fries here at Arby's. I'll give you the answer. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you. Tomorrow. You're always a day away. There's heaven right there. Keep singing.

Yeah, I got to believe Annie inspired the curly fire. You just sent me to heaven. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes.

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This is a true story. It happened right here in my town. One night, 17 kids woke up, got out of bed, walked into the dark, and they never came back. I'm the director of Barbarian. A lot of people die in a lot of weird ways. You're not going to find it in the news because the police covered everything all up. On August days.

This is where the story really starts. Weapons. What about a guy? You know, you know construction? You've heard of a blast furnace? Mm-hmm. I did a show like a few months back, and I asked a guy what he did for a living, and he goes, I work in a blast furnace. Mm-hmm. And I go, I go, how are you even alive, dude? And then I said, yeah, you're the only guy that will ever go to hell and go, yeah, so? Right.

What is a blast furnace? Tell this crowd that's listening, because if anyone knows how to describe a blast furnace, it's Adam Zachary Corolla. Right. That's me. I miss my years doing that Tim Allen show. What is a blast furnace? Home improvement. Well, first off, I don't think anyone works in a blast furnace. Well, this guy did apparently.

I think they work around one in front of one. What is it, though? What is it? That's a furnace that they use for what? Tell us. It's for smelting things. Smelts are fish. Smelts are what you do to steal and other ores.

Really? And then you pour them into shapes and you make eye beams and truss and things like that. So you shove like raw metal into a blast furnace and it melts it into a liquid form? Is that what you're trying to tell the audience? I think you put the raw like ingots. Ingets. So it's like a juicer for metal. If you're going to like smelt an ingot.

Wasn't ingot a bobsled champion in the 76 Olympics, by the way? Downhill. Yeah, but yes. Winter Olympics. put the ingots and the whatons inside you you smelt an ingot oh i haven't smelt an ingot in a long yeah well you're missing well that's my version of heaven sniffing an ingot you know we don't talk metallurgy enough i know blast furnace all right that's enough for that i'm moving on okay if you want to just limit it to eight minutes of that well i have a lot of questions for you i want to get to a quick answer, because those were long, excellent answers.

Thank you. You win already. This one's just a yes or no answer. Mm-hmm. Let me see. Where is it? Oh, here we go. Let's see yes or no answer.

You don't even have to go into it. Okay. But you probably will. Do priests take their collars off, put them on the griddle, and use them to make perfectly round pancakes? Yes or no? Yes. Right. You're right.

Absolutely. Now we can get back to some long-form answers. When I used to work at McDonald's, every once in a while, I'd get the breakfast shift. Yeah. And in order to make the egg McMuffin, you would have a miniature priest. Like a priest collar. Collar. But this one would be for like a small, like if a cat was a man of the cloth, it would be that size.

Or a pussy of the cloth. Pussy of the cloth? Yeah, about three inches around. And that's what you'd crack your egg. into it was a template can i do can i take a little pause here and do a a a uh pussy of the cloth him real quick yeah i mean if you want to hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah oh shh shh at some point you have to stop this don't you at some point you're the guy that worked at mcdonalds and had a pussy collar

Yeah, I did. Why am I the bad guy for once? Well, I was 16. You worked at McDonald's? Yes, I did. When? Well, as previously stated. 16. That's right. You think I'm not listening, but I retro hear you.

I know. I asked myself, and then I gave the answer before you could even answer. Right. See? Sweet. So you worked at McDonald's in the drive-thru or where? No, I don't think we had a drive-thru. This was the one in Studio City on Ventura Boulevard.

They still don't have a drive-thru. It's one of the few McDonald's with no drive-thru. You've got to get back to the future! Yes, I do. And I would drive my Dolorian there, and I would get behind the griddle, and I would make Big Macs. Did you ever sweat on the meat? Like, it's inevitable. Because in those days, you grilled over a grill, right?

It wasn't the microwave when you were there. It was always a huge griddle. Big, flat piece of steel. Did you ever, ooh, with an ingot? Right for Smelton. Oh, yums. Did you ever sweat by accident into the meat? What would happen was is I was forced to wear, as my son was hopping up and down behind us.

I was forced to wear what is basically a brown rayon ghee, you know, back when they had these stupid pants and stupid tops and wearing a hat and everything else. And one of the biggest beefs I used to get into part in the pump. with my manager, Ken, is that he insisted when I work behind the grill that I wear this big plastic smock, but I'm already wearing this rayon jumpsuit, you know, this brown rayon jumpsuit, doesn't breathe very well. Yeah. I'm wearing the shoes. And they're kind of, were they bell-bottom-y a little bit?

Yeah. And they said no rubber-sold shoes, which is insane. Didn't want people wearing ratty tennis shoes. But on the other hand, I didn't have any shoes. that were dress shoes, except for my ninth grade graduation shoes. So I looked like Fred McMurray standing there. My feet were killing me. And he had the- Wait, you wore your graduation shoes to McDonald's every day?

I wasn't going to buy leather-sold shoes. Like shiny black? Yeah, well, these were brown, but yes, they were old-school shoes. All right, continue. And I was standing there. My feet were killing me because I'd grown two sizes since. the ninth grade but I didn't have any shoes that were rubber sold and I wasn't going to buy shoes expensive shoes just to work at McDonald's for $2.42 an hour and so my my manager

Ken would constantly insist that I wear this big plastic smock while I stood over the grill in the shoes with the rayon outfit on and I remember sort of thinking of myself I'm hot enough, Ken. Yeah. Putting this big plastic smock over me is killing me. That's what boxers do to lose weight. They'll put a garbage bag on and get on a bike and just, yeah, okay. Yeah, that's right.

So they were doing that to you. Yeah, I was drying out over that thing, trying to make weight. I was cutting weight. And did your forehead drip onto the griddle into the meat? Yeah, I was a sweaty mess. Wow. I would say to, I would say to Ken, like, I'm burning up back here. And he'd say, put the smock on.

and I would always conveniently forget to put the smock on and he would always come and remind me to put the smock up. Did he ever, like, towards the end of your shift, turn the disco ball on and play a slow song and you guys would have like the final dance at the graduation, like relive that moment? Not every night. Like what's that song with the...

I had the time of my life. Oh, my love. Oh, righteous brothers. My daughter. And you and him would be like, yeah, you guys would slow dance and your shiny brown tromb shoes. Any credit at all for naming the artist and the song title within three beats of the song? Yeah, good job.

Yeah. Good job. Wow, that's exciting. All right. Hey, I wanted to see if you could make up a new four-letter swear word. Mm-hmm. And it can't be the one that we already did. What was it, Dingle, the one, the metal one?

I don't know. I've kind of tuned out. You tuned out the whole metal. Yeah. What's a four-letter that we've never heard? It's brand new. Well. Brand new.

I can tell you this, four letters in Jack and four letters in Hull. Jimmy and I, in our production company, is called Jack Hole Productions. But we tried to invent a swear word we could say on the radio. Oh, okay. And Jack Hull is what we ended up with. That's eight letters. Well, it's four and four. Can you do a brand new one that the world, the planet Earth has never heard it before?

Can you come up with a four-letter one right now? And then I'm going to need you to, you know, use it in a sentence. Uh-huh. Okay. A four-letter. Mm-hmm. So douche nozzle is out? That's a bit like, that would be a German four-letter swear word.

Uh-huh. We need English for America. No more lots can be used at all. No, no. Like, it's got to be like clunk or clung-or, you know, something. Four lousy, it can sound like it can sound like another language. Right. Uh, I would say speaking.

of um speaking of um speaking of sort of german i would go fits fitz with the z f itz yeah great i like that some shits got some fuck in it yeah and uh what's it mean it just it just means like fits

yeah i like it's fits yeah yeah it's like um you could use it this way like you could say i walked in my roommate and he was uh fits in the bejesus out of his girl friends so I stood there and watched you know what I mean you stood and watched I thought it was gonna end well I might have you didn't politely leave I may have grabbed a knee I don't know if I stood the whole time you like your fits and yeah wow okay see that was great I love it um what species of animals should interbreed like I feel like a panda and a zebra would make a good interbreeding are there any other ones that would kind of fit the...

Well, yeah, I, for me, I like flight. You know what I mean? Okay. And so for that, you have the barn owl. Barn owl? Yeah. Right, right. And good luck with this one. Yeah.

Now, one of the most animals that is probably would be the coolest thing to see in flight, but that you'll never really have a chance of seeing would be a man. A manatee. A manatee and a barn owl. A manatee and a barn owl. Yeah, that'd be hard to get off the ground. Yeah, but imagine the majesty of the manatee when it did take flight for the first time. Maybe you could call that a fat farmer. No, what would you call that?

A fatity? A barn. A barn of fat. A fat fuck farmer? No. Well, first off, Harlem. What does the manatee sound like? Manatees are aquatic and they're underwater, so they're like...

Like that. I feel like there's a little bit of a cop-out. Oh, really? Okay. Well, you want to, like, how would they talk underwater? Well, what I'm saying is, is everything underwater, whether it's a manatee or, you know, bluefin dolphin, you're going to make the same underwater. No, a bluefin dolphin underwater's like... Oh, sorry.

I meant bluefin tuna. I meant bluefin tuna. Oh, okay. Well, manatee. Well, what would the tuna sound like? The tuna would be like. Okay. Yeah, it'd be more like a pulsing sound.

Whereas the manatee has more of a, it developed more of a language because it's a mammal. So it's like, bobl-d-blop-d-d-d-d-d-do-bo-bo-d-do-bo-bo-do-bo-bo-bo-d-oh. If you play that backwards, it's actually someone reciting the Second Amendment. It says Paul's a dead man. Yeah, yeah. So good. I like that barn owl and a man-a-manty. Mm-hmm.

Splendid. Mm-hmm. Okay, great. Well, let's go down at the end of my podcast here. I like to play a little game called Too Soon or Not Too Soon. Okay. It's four questions. All right.

And all you have to answer is too soon or not too soon. To play this stupid game? Yeah. Well, mental game. Okay. Here's the first question. You ready? Mm-hmm.

In 2016, should people be allowed to put curly, fries in their pubs and pretend they are octopuses or octopi too soon or not too soon not too soon no i'm wrong it's too too soon oh yeah okay well is that oh for one then yeah so i got to run the table to go over 500 here yeah here's number two should people with leprosy be allowed to give you the finger meaning they could actually pull their finger off and give it to you too soon or not Not too soon. Too soon. Yeah.

Correct. Yeah. Correct. Number three, should people who make sour patch kids create an adult candy called sour patch clits? Too soon or not too soon? Is that my, is that with a Z? Is that my swear word you're using in a sentence?

It's close. It's close. Now I've got to get this last one to go 500. Last, last one. Here we go. And then we're going to wrap up the show. you've heard of the Dilley Bar and the Dairy Queen Blizzard

given the condition of Bernie Saunders' hair should his hair be a new frozen delighted dairy queen called the Bernie Blast Blowout Frozen Frostfucker Supreme Too soon or not too soon? It's not too soon and I feel like you could get head and shoulders to sponsor that

and this would be a layup. Am I right? No, it's too soon. man it's you got one yeah man i mean in a weird way it's like doing a movie and just getting one star like you'd rather almost just get zero too soon yeah all right well that's uh that's it for this segment of the uh the podcast but you want to plug while we're here i always like people to plug their stuff man if people like to see where i'm doing my shows live or or get a get my mug my mug is don't do your best do my best

makes a lovely coffee mug and a gift t-shirts and podcasts and whatever just go to adamcoraola.com find out everything because we're coming to you and you can pick up a nice mug or a t-shirt

yeah check out of stuff listen to his podcast listen to all his podcast if you go on adamcora.com you can see all the movies everything there's so much Paul Newman Racing dog yes I saw that you were great

enough to invite me to the premiere. It was amazing. I'm glad you came and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah, I loved it. Well, awesome. Go there and go get one there, buddy. Okay, cool. Awesome. Yeah. There it is. Yeah. Adam Carolla, ladies and gentlemen. My thanks to Adam. My God, what a, what a fun, fun interview. I mean, Adam, you just can't stump them. You can bring up any topic. That's why I threw a whole wide range. of questions at him because I don't think I know a guy that like him that he just has answers for everything and it's fascinating to hear what he comes up with man he doesn't even blink like he just you could ask him anything

and he just rolls into some kind of an answer it's quite a unique gift and that's probably half the reason why his outstanding podcast and all his other projects do so well he's just he's got a lot of knowledge up that nugget. And it was a pleasure to have some laughs and talk with Adam.

And by the way, coming up soon, if you are a premium member of the Harland Highway podcast, Adam and I, coming up very soon, we are going to be doing my premium podcast called Let's Have a Fight where me and Adam will be going head to head with each other. And believe me, Adam is not an easy guy to fight with because he's. He's very intelligent, and that's going to be a real battle. So if you join my premium membership, it's probably coming up within the next two weeks, two to three weeks, Adam Carolla and Harlan Williams, Let's Have a Fight.

And the premium content's only $20 a year to get that other podcast and my live stand-up and all kinds of bonus things. So there you go. I hope you enjoyed hearing Adam and let's see what else they got here. A stand-up comedy coming up next week, February 25th through the 28th. I will be in, good Lord, I will be in Scottsdale, Arizona, the House of Comedy. Brand new comedy club. It's only been open about a year and a half.

It's really wonderful hip, modern comedy club. in beautiful sunny Scottsdale, Arizona. Go to Harlow Williams.com and get all your ticket information. And then in March, March 10th to the 13th, I'll be in Houston, Texas at the Improv. So please come out there. And then moving over to April, it's the comedy party. This is going to be an amazing.

If you live in Omaha or out there in Illinois, in the Midwest, Polly Shore, Tom Green, Bobby Lee from Mad TV, and myself are going to be doing the comedy party. It's three shows, one night only at each venue, big fat, incredible theaters, and you're getting four amazing comics for the price of one. So go to my website, harlorn Williams.com, and you can order your tickets before they sell out, because the comedy party is going to be a cool party. Also, if you want to leave me any phone messages, if you want to comment on the Adam Carolla interview or anything else I say or do on the podcast, 323739, 43330. That's 323739, 43330. That number is at the website, harlew Williams.com. Or you can write to me at harlewilms.com as well. Also check out our store at harlewilums.com. We have all kinds of cool merchandise. we can ship out to you.

So that's it. Hope you enjoyed Adam. Again, my thanks to Adam Carolla. Tons of fun. And as I said, watch out you premium members for Adam Carolla and Harlan Williams. Let's Have a Fight podcast coming up soon. Thanks for being here. And until next time, chicken, show me, baby.

I'm burning up back here. And he'd say put the smock on.