The Harland Highway - 743 - BERNIE SANDERS calls the show. Horny insects. DONALD TRUMP.

Episode Date: February 22, 2016

Presidential candidate BERNIE SANDERS calls in to discuss his campaign. A very sexually charged insect story. A Pavement Pounder asks Harland about TRUMP. Frump a whump!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's go podcast now, everybody, podcast now. Podcasts across the USA. Now we're podcasting across the world. Okay, not just U.S.A. Not just U.S.A. See how I did that. I mixed USA and you. Not just U.S. Okay.

Welcome to the Harlan Highway. What a show today. Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders. Feel the burn. Bernie Saunders is calling the show today to talk about his campaign, his vision for the country. It's intense, man. Very cool. Bernie Saunders calling in today.

Also, we've got a crazy, crazy news story. This thing's almost borderline perverted and sexual and deviant. And you'll be amazed to hear who or what is. involves. It's just a nutty, crazy news story. Also, towards the end of the show, I got a call from a pavement pounder asking me a very serious question about Trump, comparing Donald Trump to another person. And I got into a very in-depth answer with the pavement pounder. I hope you stick around and see what you think. So here we go. This is the Harland. Hi, I'm Where am I?

What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What you're talking about Williams? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh, God, what's happening here? What's happened?

Hey, Harland, it's Shelby. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. What's wrong with everybody in this crazy place? The Harland Highway.

What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic.

The Harland Highway. Crazy news stories. That's weird. Wow. That's strange stuff. Oh boy. Good night. Well, I was going to say Nellie Frittato, but this one's like, I got to go,

Good Night Dido. Do you remember her? Forget Nellie Frittato. Good night, Dido. This story just, this thing's crazy, man. Here's the headline, and these are real news stories. I don't make these up, gang. This is going to kick off the podcast here.

This is an important story. But wait a way to you hear the headline. Here it is. I won't keep you waiting any longer. 99 million-year-old daddy long-legs fossil found with erection. Right? You know what daddy-long-legs are, those crazy spiders with the big long legs. They call them daddy-long-legs.

I guess they found a fossilized version of this thing with a giant hard on. Listen to this story. A 90 million-year-old fossil of a distant relative of the daddy long legs was found with one extra leg, his erection. Now, I'm sorry, but have you ever seen a spider? They're eight-legged acropods or whatever they're called. Sounds like a cleansing sponge you'd buy it, bed, bath, and beyond. Excuse me, do you have any more acropods or acronoids or whatever to get my acroids?

I mean, with that big bushel and bundle of legs, how does one even determine what the erection is? And excuse me, did anyone here even know that spiders could get erections? Did anyone here even know spiders had penises? Creepy. I mean, if most of us aren't freaked out by spiders enough, most people have. acrophobia where they're terrified of spiders crawling on us at night or dropping down from the ceiling for all we know now maybe they were dropping down to teabag us they're dropping down on our faces and in our hair with a giant heart on oh i'm good to oh i'm gonna that forehead

looks good from way up here in the rafters i'm i'm going to i'm going to descend Raida, oh, feel my spider-boner. Now I'm having trouble picturing Spider-Man, to be honest, in that tight suit, that tight red and blue suit where he swings around. Are we all just picturing Peter Parker with his, you know, dance skins on with a giant spider-boner now? Spider-boner tingling. So let me keep reading here, because this gets even more ridiculous,

the unique specimen of the Harvestman Hilarithsus Grimaldi. That's probably the Latin word for this. Why don't we just call it the boner spider? Was described in the Science of Nature on January 28th and is believed to be the first record of a male copulatory organ of this nature preserved in amber. Can we just never say those two words again? Copulatory organ?

Can we just say dick? It is believed to be the first record of a spider dick. Copulatory organs. Is that how scientists really talk? Can you imagine how scientists have sex at night? Oh, that's it, baby. Yeah, right there, right there are my copulatory organ. Yeah, let me separate your flabilios and your labias and your larynx and...

Come on. Is that how they do, you know, bedtime talk? They name things in Latin? Hey, baby, how would you like me to kneel down here and lick your copulous, Maximus, Clitorius? Would you put your spider boner away, Peter Parker? The ancient specimen was found in Mymar, formerly Burma. This spider, they describe it, the arduous harvestman's large eyes, unique penis, and probable lack of diffaphanous teeth.

I don't know what dephanous teeth are, have led researches to conclude that the specimen belongs to a newly discovered extinct family of Harvestman spiders, according to the study. Yeah, it's the boner spider, man. When erect the Harvestman's penis grew to nearly half the size of his body. This thing's a stud, man. This thing's like the porno. This guy's like the porno dude of the spider world, man. This guy's like the Ron Jeremy of Spider-World.

Half the size of his body? You'll take an eye out, kid. And then the article went on to say, it must have been in an amorous state to have it out like this. Again, amorous. Can we just say it must have been horny as all ass? but here's here's what sucks okay this this

boner spider is is immersed it's preserved in amber do you remember Jurassic Park how they got the DNA the blood from the dinosaurs was out of the mosquito

that was preserved in amber amber amber is like a like a sap that's like a sap from a tree and we all know how fast sap moves, right? Like, probably slower than a snail.

Can you imagine this guy like hanging around the web? What was his wife doing the makeup and the hair? And he's like, oh, come on, baby. Come on, can you, can you hurry it up in there, baby? Yeah, this sap is coming and I'm all worked up, baby. Come on now. Oh, shit, here come the sap. I can't get rid of this. Okay,

here we go. I'm starting to get I'm drowning in sap, and I got a giant hard-arm woman. Can you get your black widow ass out here? Oh, now it's covering my peanut. Now someone's going to find me a million years from now, and I'm going to be totally embarrassed. I've got a big giant spider boner. Oh, shit.

So there you go, man. Just the weirdest story ever. 99 million old. That guy's been holding on to a bono. You ever hear these Viagra commercials? If an erection lasts for more than four hours, please call a physician. How about if your erection lasts more than 98 million years, please call a physician. Can you imagine having a boner for 99 million years?

Wow. Talk about staying power, man. This guy is a stud. so there you go i'd like them to dig up some other fossils what wouldn't you love to see uh one of these giant hundred foot brontosaurus dug up and it's got it's got a frozen boner i mean if a spider a prehistoric spider's erection um or copulatory organ excuse me is half the size of his body would a brontosaurus erection be? That thing would

you could put a wall around Manhattan with that thing. That could be a ride at Disney World. Hello, welcome to Brontosaurus penis. Come along, children. Put your seatbelts on. The ride is beginning.

Hold on tight. It's a wiggly one. So there you go, man. the Harland Highway crazy news story. You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometimes. Okay. So going from one type of crazy news story to another, you know, the election is happening right now. The presidential election, and it is probably the craziest election we have seen in modern times. I mean, it is nuts. And, you know, the two front runners, it seems, Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders from both of the respective parties, people are saying they're crazy.

And so, you know, we thought we'd find out for ourselves. And, you know, we decided to put an, extend an offer to Bernie Sanders to give us a call. and do an interview and tell us about his policies and his positions and later rest the claims that he's a bit out there, that he's a bit radical. So is he on the line, Raj? He is. Okay. Where's he calling from?

I got, okay, he's down in Florida campaigning. And we got him for just a few minutes here. So let's put him through, Raj. Bernie Saunders, one of the presidential candidates for this election. Hello, Bernie, are you there, sir? Hello, Mr. Saunders. It is a pleasure to have you on the Harland Highway podcast today. Yes, hello, Harland, Williams, and it is a pleasure to be on your show here today.

Thank you, sir. I'm assuming you must be getting a little road weary out there. You guys and girls have been campaigning hard, trying to win the hearts and minds of Americans. I can only imagine you must be reaching levels of exhaustion. It is a vigorous campaign, Holland, but it is a worthwhile cause campaigning extremely hard. It is an important moment in the election.

electric uh electorate history and uh i find uh it is a calling it is a something that i am moved to do and uh as i've said in many of my speeches holland it this is a political movement that is happening right here right now well you know you might not be wrong because you know when this thing started uh mr saunders you know you were an outside fringe candidate. Hillary had a lock on the Democratic nomination. You know,

you were kind of seen as this outside, and pardon me for saying this, sir, but you know, kind of an outside radical goofball to a degree, and you weren't taken necessarily all that seriously. Holland, my policies,

my platforms, they stand on their own. And basically, they are resonating with all groups of people, all groups of Americans, young, old, black, white, all across the demographic of this wonderful country of ours. Yes, sir. It seems like you really are resonating. And groups that weren't necessarily expected to gravitation. towards your campaign, seem to be really gravitating towards your campaign. We are picking up momentum every single day, Holland, and it is a wonderful, wonderful feeling

to know that people are responding to the Bernie Sanders message. Yes, but they're also, sir, if I may, there has been some criticism. you are admittedly a socialist. That is correct. A democratic socialist, Holland. Well, you know, you've kind of added the word democratic. First, you were just a socialist, and, you know, a lot of your questions,

a lot of questions have been asked about, you know, your views on, you know, for one, the economy, and in particular, you know, your tax propositions, income tax. Well, there is some fear, there is some legitimate fear, but Holland, what we need to do is raise the taxes on the fortunate 1% who are gathering most of the country's wealth and not distributing it equally or fairly, I might add, to the rest of the country. Well, you know, well, hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes.

The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. All will be packaged and sent discreetly for, for $100,000. Free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a clickaway. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out.

That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. I got to say, if I'm being honest, sir, I am all about, you know, you make your money, you spend your money or distribute your money the way you want to. It's not up to you or any other politician.

Well, Holland, that is... May I just interject here, sir, you know, a lot of your other statements have seemed a little bit out there, a little radical, a little, you know, around the bend, if you don't mind me saying. Could you tell me a little bit about your, let's say, your stance on the military? Well, Holland, that's a very, very good question. I believe the military. is made of sea salt, and we must have Holland more underarm deodorant. I'm sorry, sir, if you could just say that again, the military. Holland, let me make it perfectly clear that clouds are our friends, and the world, Holland, is made of cauliflower.

The world is made of cauliflower, sir? Absolutely. And there is science behind this that the Republican Party will not acknowledge. And we only have one world, Holland, and we must save the cauliflower. So you're an environmentalist is what you're saying. What I am saying, Holland, is starfish tips. I'm sorry, sir? You heard me, Holland, starfish tits. I don't know how I can be. Any clearer, really, on that point? If you could just elaborate, sir, I'm starfish tit.

Let me put it into layman's terms, Holland. Perhaps this is something that hasn't been said by any other candidates, and I will be the first to say it here on your podcast. Let's all Americans come together and bake a bramble. berry pie. Sorry, sir? Starfish tips. See, sir, now when people say you're a little out there, this is, I'm feeling like you're

getting a little discombobulated. Well, then let's holland you and me and the constituents of this country go to the aquarium, eat some sea salt, and call a taxi. Glue gun, glue gun, glue gun. Sir, a glue gun? Underarm deodorant, cauliflower, Holland, broccoli clouds are our friends, the aquarium, sea salt, Holland. And lastly, if I may add here, and this is important, please listen carefully, let's bake a brambleberry pie. and I hate to bring it up again, but starfish tits.

Okay, sir, I know you're tired, I know you're on the road. Are you telling me these are your policies? Did you have anything to say about foreign policy? Holland, foreign policy is my forte. I have spent many months, years, all over the world, all over this planet of ours. And I think I can say with a pure conviction, uh, maple walnut, if I may, uh, soft, fluffy pillows.

And, of course, kitty cat, kitty cat, I want to scratch the kitty cat, Holland. This is your forum policy. Or if I might add, let's go to bargaining across the top. of the lemon meringue pie, Holland. That's foreign policy. Let's go tobogging across the top of a lemon meringue pie. Only if I and the rest of the United States of America and all its wonderful citizens can be wearing K-Mop underpants on their heads.

White ones. White ones, sir. That is correct. Hillary Clinton, and I will not speak. badly of her, would not endorse, nor would she even propose the concept of implementing that all Americans, from the great state of Florida, Holland, all the way to Oregon, where white came out, how do you want to call them, tidy white underpants on their heads? P.S. Starfish Tits.

Of course, so you got to throw in the starfish tips. Chocolate chip ice cream, Holland, a nuclear proliferation, lollipops, dandelions, and I want some tangerine sherbet when I finish my fish and chips. Of course, so you can't have, you know, your fish and chips without tangerine sherbet for dessert. That is precisely what I'm saying, Holland, and this is why we are having a movement. Bernie

Sanders is having a movement here in the United States of America. Pass me the TV remote control. I want my slippers. I am a golden

retriever. All right, sir. That is fantastic. I can see why your campaign is skyrocketing. It's taking up. Do you have any closing remarks you'd like to make to our listeners before we let you go? Thank you for this opportunity, Holland.

I would like to say, and this is very important, this is a crucial time in our country's delicate, fragile, great history. I would like to say, in closing, to everyone listening across America, race-color creed, it doesn't matter to me. I would like to say that most books, Holland, are between 100 and 1202 pages long, cinnamon toast is yummy. I like to spray ham cooking oil on my hair. And lastly, to the American people, hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders will not upset us. At Burger King, Holland, we want you to have it your way. That's it, sir?

And, of course, starfish tits. Of course, sir. Well, I know you have to get back to the campaign trail, Senator Sanders. Thank you so much for your time, and we wish you luck out there on the road. Thank you, Holland, and may you wake up with Teddy Ruckspin doing a spread eagle on your face. Of course, sir, and starfish tits. Starfish tits, Holland. Thank you, Bernie Sanders.

welcome. Thank you very much. I am a giant toaster with a bagel inside. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Wow. A powerful message. Power, powerful speaker, well-thought-out, constructed plan, blueprint for America. Wow, we want to thank Bernie Saunders for that insightful interview. And for those of you that still are undecided of how you want to vote, I think maybe it might be crystal clear now, which direction to go. Yeah. Well, here's what I want to do, because we have Donald Trump on the other side of this election.

I want to get to a phone call that one of the pavement pounders sent to me and he called our hotline at 3-2-3-7-3-9-4-3-30 and he left me a very interesting and provocative message about The Donald. And so in fairness to giving Bernie some airtime,

I want to have a little bit of a discussion about The Donald and then we'll end the show after that. So, Raj, play that phone call from one of the pavement pounders. Hi, Harlan. This is Mike from Portland, Oregon. And I wanted to ask you about your candidate choice, Donald Trump. And I wanted to relate his story to a player in the NHL by the name of John Scott.

Perhaps you've heard of him. He is a undesirable player in the league. He's not a bad guy by any stretch. but he's just not quite good enough to play on the team, so he plays in the farm teams, and he plays currently for the Arizona Coyotes. This year in the All-Star games, the NHL put it to the fans to vote for the captain of each division.

Each captain is to lead their teams to, you know, hopeful victory in the All-Star games. And this year, all the fans vote. voted for John Scott to be captain of the Western Division, and he's obviously not a fit candidate for this division. But despite that, he embraced it, and, you know, to the delight of all the fans, he came out and he made MVP this year for the game, and he proved to be a total awesome guy.

You know, everybody loved him. And I personally love the story. thought it was totally cool. You can elaborate further on it if you wish, if you know more about it. But if you don't, you should definitely look into it. It was totally awesome. The guy got several standing ovations, and, you know, he won the top prize MVP. So, you know, and he just had twins with his wife.

And it is just a totally all-around cool story. But very controversial because, like I said, put to the vote to the fans. they voted him in as a joke because he's not obviously a captain material. And this is what I am worried about with Donald Trump. Now, I find him very entertaining. There's no question about that. And on very many of his stances, I think he's captivating, and I agree with a lot of what he has to say.

But I wonder if, or I should say, I wonder how much of his votes are these types of people who just want to see the world burn, you know? they just want to have him in because of the fun of it. Or, you know, I'm just curious to get your opinion on this because if you relate them to the John Scott incident in the NHL, I wonder if that's something you consider. So please elaborate and get back to me as you could. I'd love to hear about it.

Thank you very much for your time and chau-man, chau-man, baby. Wow, Mike. What a great phone call. First of all, I want to thank you for your tone and your demeanor. I find that a lot of times when people phone in regarding politics, they phone in already with an attitude that they're right and you're wrong. And that happens a lot if you converse with your friends or family or anyone in politics. A lot of times people with opposing views look at you like you're a moron and that you're wrong. and their opinion's right and that's never the way to be everyone's opinion matters nobody's

wrong and nobody's right and what i appreciate about you mike is just by i can tell by your tone that you were not you're not being judgmental you were not being accusatory you were just kind of uh you know throwing something out there for debate and not uh not trying to stereo uh type people or pinpoint people as to what they are or make or what you interpret or think them to be. You left it neutral, which is where I think a great debate or a great conversation or even an argument can start. But I find that the minute people start labeling you or thinking that they already know

the answer and you don't, it's just, it's not a good jumping off point. So great, great way to present this to me. And let me get into it. I think it's a very interesting thing, and there are some parallels here to the Donald Trump story. What I find interesting is right out of the gate, you mentioned that this guy was an undesirable. People took him as a joke. They didn't think that he could do it. They kind of or sounded like there was a bit of mockery going on.

It was kind of something that started off as, you know, not. not being plausible, but they went along with it. And what happened is they were completely surprised. They took someone who was a complete underdog, someone who they thought couldn't do the job, and not only did this guy excel at it, according to you, and I haven't read any of these stories, so all I have to go on is the data you provided.

He became the MVP. He became the MVP. he became beloved, and he received, you know, numerous standing ovations. And it sounds like this guy who everyone kind of rode off, stepped up to the plate big time, and smashed the fucking ball over the wall. And, you know, there is a parallel there with Donald Trump where a lot of people think he's a clown and want to write him off and think he's. stupid and think he's a joke and think he's a reality showing all this stuff and even if he is

all those things which i don't think he is but a lot of people are convinced that he is it still doesn't mean that he can't have a very similar outcome that he may surprise people just because you think someone's a dumbass and incapable doesn't mean that's what they are just because you label someone a moron or a loser or an antichrist or whatever you want to call someone, it doesn't mean they are. And what your story proves is that someone who you don't think can accomplish something gets the opportunity, steps up to the plate, and smashes it over the fucking wall. And so, first of all, if you believe in your heart that Donald Trump is, is a stupid man, a guy that's managed to build an empire in the business world and probably

in a way is a lot smarter than you or I when it comes to business at least. I wouldn't be too quick to write that part of him off. You know, you also said that this guy was not considered captain material. And again, the parallel is Donald Trump is not considered presidential material. But let's remember, gang, this is the United States of America, where we're encouraged from birth to dream, where Americans are encouraged to reach for the stars to be what they can be. How many times have you heard this?

A lot of people have babies, and they sit their baby down when they're in their high chair, when they first learned to talk, when they first learned to comprehend. And how many of you have heard this and how many of you have said this to your kid? You know what, son or daughter, this is the United States of America. You can be or do anything you want. You could be president of the United States one day. Oh, but Donald Trump's not allowed. There are people out there that won't allow it.

And I've said it before. Jimmy Carter was a peanut farmer. He was also a brilliant physicist, but he was also a peanut farmer. Ronald Reagan made monkey movies. And guess who else has made movies with monkeys? Me. Maybe I'm going to run for president. This is a country where anyone's allowed to run for president.

There are homeless people that run for president. There are homeless people that run for president as a joke, but they're still allowed to run. There are Ross Perrault and there are Hillary Clintons and that's the beauty of our country. Anyone can run and anyone should be allowed to win. And if for whatever reason a person is campaigning and putting out a message that resonates with the masses, who are you, and I'm not saying you, I'm saying, who are you, the naysayers, who are you to turn around and call everyone an idiot and a moron?

Let's say you were a Barack Obama person or a Ronald Reagan person or whoever, and your candidate got in. How would you feel if half the population turned to you and said, oh, you're a fucking moron because your guy won? No one's allowed to do that. That's what I said at the beginning of this little argument here, or this little ramble. You can't call other people and stupid.

You might not like the outcome of things in life. You might not always pick the right racehorse that comes across the finish line. But you've got to ask yourself, when you go to the racetrack and the guy beside you picks the winner and you don't, is he dumber than you? Is the guy that picked the winner

and just collected half a million dollars? are you going to turn to him and say, hey, dude, you pick the winner, you're stupid. You're a moron. And then he turns to you and say, oh, who did you pick? And you say, oh, well, I picked the loser. And he goes, oh, okay, and I'm the moron. So the name calling, you got to let the chips fall where they may.

But, you know, you also mentioned something else in this little thing where you said people want to see Donald Trump win because they want to see the world burning. They want to see the clown show. Guess what, man, and I don't mean you, I mean to everyone listening, man. In case you haven't noticed, the world is burning. Human beings are being burned alive in cages. I'm not making this up.

Last year, a man was put in a cage and lit on fire. Well, ISIS and all the terrorists stood around and watched. People are getting their heads cut off, not just people on foreign shores, Americans. Why don't you go on YouTube and watch an American journalist have his head slowly severed from the rest of his body? I dare you to watch it. I bet you can't. I couldn't watch it. I started what the minute the guy put the blade to the guy's neck, I had to turn away. I had to turn it off. People are being raped and murdered and blown up.

daily there's wars raging there's terror there's a dark dark cloud coming it's already here and thank god it's moving very slowly but it is moving it has momentum and if you don't see that it's creeping closer to your precious little going to the mall cheesecake factory life every day if it's not getting closer and closer to your kids mall, your kid's school, your kid's office building, you're living in a delusional world. And if we don't have leaders that have the balls and the gusto and maybe, yes, maybe might be crazy enough to step up and say, bring it, because we got to stop it before it happens, then maybe you're not picking the right racehorse either. I don't know.

I can't tell you who to like or not like, and I will never, ever tell you that you're wrong. But all I know is sometimes if you don't squish the termites, the foundation gets eaten and the house comes down on top of you and kills you and your family. The world is burning. Make no mistake. And the flames aren't going down.

They're being fanned higher. they are being found high fanned higher so i think it's a fascinating story i'm not trying to convert you into a trump supporter or a burney supporter or a hillary support i'm not i'm not doing that but you know i think you wanted me to talk about this because you wanted me to kind of draw the comparisons of this lowly uh underrated forgotten hockey coach and compare him to what many seem to believe

as a lowly, stupid, moronic candidate in Donald Trump. And that's the beauty of the human condition. That's the beauty of being human beings. You just never know what people can accomplish or what they can do.

You know, it's like that old thing, you ever hear about people that get lost in the wilderness or they're lost on Mount Everest and they have no will to go on? And there's just no human possible way they should have survived. But the spirit within them help them survive 67 days at sea on a rubber raft. Help them come down Mount Everest in the hellish snowstorm of the century. Helped people wander through the desert with no water and live when they had no business living. Inside of us is a spirit that churns. And if you want my opinion, I think Donald Trump is putting on a masterful media kind of carnival election show. because he knows that's what he needs to get in the door.

And maybe he's the crazy, fucking nutty drunk guy outside the bar or outside the party. But once he gets in, once he gets inside and he sees that it's not a party inside, that it's something more formal, I have a feeling that Donald Trump knows how to shift gears. He's not an idiot. I have a feeling that Donald Trump knows how to shift gears. Let's say there's a gear shift mode.

And I'd say right now Donald Trump is in the election gear. He's doing what he needs to do to get seen, get heard, to rise above the pact of, to be different, to appear different, to sound different. But I have a sneaky suspicion, and I could be wrong, but I hope he takes some of his radicalness into the White House. wins, but I also hope he shifts into another gear, I call the presidential gear, where the Donald Trump, who sits behind his desk in his Manhattan high rise and conducts business very brilliantly and very cordially and very expertly, I hope he slips

into that gear when he's if and when he sits behind the desk at the Oval Office. And the Carnival Donald that you see now, the guy that everyone, underrated like the hockey coach the guy who everyone thinks is not fit who is a joke I hope when Donald gets the opportunity to step up and shine

and show what he's made of and let his spirit come through and work for his team meaning the voters, the American people I have a sneaky feeling people might just be getting up on their feet and applauding. I could be wrong. This is more of a hope. I could be wrong, but I'm going to believe in that for now. And if he proves me wrong and he's a nightmare then,

so be it. It's four years and he's gone. But regardless, I think the world, I think America needs someone to shake up our horrible political government system. Do you want to look back over the last 12 years and show me how your lives have changed all that much? Really? Don't you watch newscast after newscast and just see more politicians fighting and not getting anything done? The system is redundant, broken, tired, useless almost to a degree. It's like these two political parties are, bullies in the schoolyard intimidating and maneuvering and manipulating to try and outdo each other.

And they're so focused on making sure the other guy doesn't get a leg up that they've forgotten about the 350 million human beings living in the United States that elected them hoping that they would make a difference in their lives, make their lives better, make the country better. but they're so focused on their own little games. I'm not going to get that party funding for this. I'm not going to assign that bill. I'm going to block that legislation. I'm going to do this. It's all a game. And the minute amount of stuff that squeezes through,

it almost seems incidental. It's like, oh, we finally got the bill passed for, you know, to put the orange cones along. the highway, whereas we should be getting bills passed and say, you know what, we're going to resurface every road in this country. We're going to put new bridges in. We're going to blah, blah, blah. So we need someone like Bernie or Donald or someone who's right outside of the box like this washed up old coach to come in and rattle the cage and make a difference. Hopefully for the better. I say this all under the umbrella of I hope all this stuff turns out for the better.

I'm not just saying, oh, I want Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders because I want them. I seriously want, if they're going to be radical, I want them to get in and I want them to make a difference. That's my hope like this coach. I want them to shine. I want them to be MVP. I even dare say want the people that that were the naysayers, the spitters and the chinters and the chanters and the haters that hated up maybe at the end of it go you know what this guy fucking made a difference i hated him he was a drunk he was a he was a loser he we laughed at

him but this guy actually improved the country this guy actually improved my life my children's lives so there you go man a great great uh phone call and uh i appreciate the chance to uh you know you asking me to share my thoughts on it there they are take them or leave them hate them or love them but i as i said i do appreciate the tone i appreciate that you um you sincerely sounded like you just wanted to um you know discuss something and i i couldn't tell if you were kind of an anti-trump guy or a guy that was just wondering about this or just wanted to hear my interpretation but either way I hope I was articulate enough to get my points across and was able to provide you with at least some clarity from me.

So thank you so much. Hey, if you want to phone and leave me a message, 323739-4330, 3-23739-4-330. You know, we don't always get this serious, you know, but I like to mix it up. You know, the first half of the podcast was having fun with politics. And the second part here, we got to get a little more thought-provoking about it. So it's a good arena.

It's fun to look at both sides of the coin. And that's what I always try to do here at the Harland Highway podcast. Just keep you guessing. Shake it up. So thanks again for that call. Also, if you want to write to me, you can go to Harland-Williams. We do have a contact link on the Harlowiams.com page. Also, the phone numbers there, 323739-4330 if you want a phone.

Also check up my comedy schedule. Oh, my gosh. I have a really good show coming up this weekend in Phoenix, Arizona. Actually, Scottsdale, Arizona at the House of Comedy, February 25th to the 28th. I would love to see all you guys come out and catch the show. It's a brand new comedy club. It's only been open about a year and a half. Beautiful.

The House of Comedy, Scottsdale, Arizona, February 25th to the 28th. If you're not going, tell your friends. If you don't live in that part of the country, alert your friends. March 10th to the 13th, that will be in Houston at the Houston Improv, Houston, Texas. You can also get your tickets online. And then in April, the comedy party starts. And when I say comedy party, guess what? It is going to be a party.

It is me, Polly Shore, Tom Green, and Bobby Lee from Mad TV, the four of us on one stage in one night. It's a beautiful theaters. We're going to be in Peoria. Not Peoria. We're going to be in Iowa and Illinois in the Midwest. three nights only, three giant theaters. Please go to Harlan Williams.com, look up and see if we are in your area.

Tell your friends, come on out. It is going to be a comedy party. It is going to be great. Tickets at Harlandwilliams.com. Also, don't forget to join the premium content. You can get the Harland Highway app on your phone, Android or Apple. Just go into your app store. type in the Harland Highway and you can listen to my podcast on your phone baby and you can also join our premium content for only $20 a year you get all kinds of different interviews you get to hear me doing live stand-up you also get to hear my whole other podcast which is called let's have a fight that's like two comedians or celebrities having a verbal showdown three-round verbal fight the next one comes

Coming up is with Adam Carolla, a very intelligent guy, and man, we went all out on that one. I will be playing a sample clip for you coming up, but you don't want to miss all this stuff for only $20 a year. That's like three visits to McDonald's. And the money also helps support all the podcast stuff I do, and it's greatly appreciated since I don't really have any sponsors at all. So I'd rather, I'd rather, you know, feel the love from you guys than be on my podcast going, Do you need sheets for your bed? Well, Samsonite sheets. You know, I don't want to do any of that crap.

So, yeah, if you can, please join the premium content. And, man, great show today. Well, I'll let you decide if it was a great show. I shouldn't say it. Harlan, great show today. Oh, really? Thanks. I thought it was a 10 out of 10.

Yeah, absolutely, Harland. Not. So that's it, man. That is it for today's show. Hey, please be good. Please have fun. Don't call other people idiots. Listen to people's opinions.

You might learn something and they might learn something from you. It's kind of fun to hear opposing points of view in life. If you're patient enough to just let. let them in and absorb them. So there you go. That's it. We're done. We'll talk to you next time, everyone.

This is Harlow Williams. And until next time, chicken. Chalmyne, baby. Let's bake a brambleberry pie. And I hate to bring it up again, but starfish tits. Thank you.