The Harland Highway - 762 - Russian roulette with Bernie Sanders. Cell phone overkill.

Episode Date: April 28, 2016

Harland plays Russian Roulette with Bernie Sanders. Phone calls to a laundromats. The Question of the Day. And, enough with the Snapchat FX already. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stub my toe, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What a show, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we have to go, go, go, go, go, go. Why am I being an idiot? I don't blame you if you just shut it off. But don't shut it off. Oh, my God. What a podcast we have today.

Unbelievable podcast. Russian roulette. We'll be playing Russian roulette where somebody will end up dead and bloody on the floor. Bernie Saunders and I are having Russian roulette later in the show. I don't know who's going to live or die. Also, an interesting phone call. Someone left me a message and asked me to call them but didn't leave their number. And throughout most of the show, right to the end,

I'm chasing this person with a bunch of phone calls trying to track them down. You've got to hear these phone calls. Also, are you one of these people that, do the little Instagram digital effects? Do you send your friends these funny little visuals where you're a creature or a weird character? I got a little bit of a beef about that. And then question of the day,

do you watch TV commercials? Do they work? Uh-huh. We're going to talk about that on the question of the day. So a full show, buckle up, put your buck teeth in, because this is the Harland Highway. Where am I? What is this?

Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What are you talking about Williams? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh, God, what's happening here? What's happened? Hey, Harland, it's shall be.

You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy. But because they are hard. That is fantastic. What's wrong with everybody in this crazy place? The Harland Highway.

What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic.

Hello? Hello? Hey, Harlan. It's Alex. Hey, I forgot the cookies in the toaster. um if you can just give me a call back um at the laundry mat and um i'm doing the laundry i forgot the cookies in the toaster um all right just give me a call back cool bye um okay Alex like thanks for the call man and i get it that the cookies are in the toaster

but how am i supposed to call you back when you don't leave me a callback number dude great Thanks, dude You know, I got a podcast, dude Now I've got to take time out And phone Laundrymats And call you back at the laundry mat What laundry mat, dude?

Damn it! Hello? Hey, how's it going, man? Good. I'm just calling you back. I guess you. left me a message that the cookies are in the toaster or something? Cookie in the toaster? Yeah.

I think you got a wrong number, buddy. Well, I got a message that someone said that the cookies were in the toaster? No, I don't know. Nobody's talking about it. I think you need to revise the number. So you don't know if the cookies are in the toaster or... Well... because you left me a message so

Hello Damn it All right well I guess I'll just keep trying throughout the friggin show Yeesh Could you next time maybe leave me your number Please and thank you Lord Jesus man

Man, kind of annoying. Sheesh. Speaking of kind of annoying, and I hope a lot of my friends don't hear this segment, but maybe they will. I'm just being honest. How many of you are on Snapchat or on any of these apps, these phone apps,

where you can record yourself, you know, lip-syncing a line from a movie, or you can superimpose a skull onto your face or you can superimpose laser beams coming out of your eyes or you can superimpose a police hat and mirrored sunglasses and a mustache. You can distort your face so that your eyes are huge and your head is small.

You can make your head gigantic. You can put flames on your hair. You can make water pour out of your eyes. You can turn into a puppy. You can put a puppy snout on your face. You can put dog ears. You can have a tongue coming out. You can have vampire teeth.

I mean, it's just endless. And I get it. It's amusing. I haven't done it because I find it a little annoying. It's like there's only so many variations of it. Okay? There's the puppy. there's the cop, there's the vampire, there's the cry baby, there's the flame face, there's

the skull guy, or you can, there's this other one now where you can take someone else's face and put it on yours. And the joke being that you've got, all of a sudden you've got Donald Trump's face. Well, guess what? When you take Donald Trump's face and you put it on yours, it just looks like Donald Trump, dummy. But what's funny is the amount of regularity that people use these things and send them to you. And they're sort of amusing, but I think what's disturbing about them is a lot of, like, older people are doing it.

And they're doing it almost like, I think there's this sense of they did it. You know, like somehow they're audio visual technicians, you know, that they did the special effects on Jurassic Park. They did the special effects on Avatar, and now they're sharing their work with me. Yeah, you know, I did all the special effects on Avatar, and I created the Taranosaurus Rex and Jurassic Park. And now, here's some footage of me with puppy dog ears. a puppy dog knows, and there's waterfalls coming out of my eyes, and I'm blowing flames out of my ass. I think there's this sense that people think

because they pressed a few preset buttons that overlay these kind of cheesy, corny special effects over their face, that somehow they're kind of like, you know, George Lucas, you know, technical special effects movies, wizards or something. Suddenly they're like James Cameron the second. Well, I hate to burst your

bubble, Snapchatters, and all you little cell phone want to be green screen, special effects, movie house people. It's not all that enthralling, okay? It kind of looks

cheap. It looks weird. Everybody's doing it. So you're not that special. and I know I'm being a bit of a buzz kill, but I'm just being honest. And I think what's really killing is a lot of people are posting this stuff on Facebook and on all these social media sites

as if we're all going to be surprised by it. It's like, oh, honey, come here, isn't that Larry? Isn't that Larry? Look at Larry's got giant eyes with flames coming out of them. Oh, look, look, honey. Here's Carol. She's a skull with Donald Trump's hair. Oh, my God, isn't that Tommy?

Look, I didn't know Tommy was half dog. I mean, did you ever notice his big floppy ears and he had a dog snout? Oh, my good. Wait a minute. Are these some kind of special effects? Where did they learn this craft? Honey, have our friends been going to devry behind our back and learning how to do excellent special effects?

I mean, it's a little odd. It's a little trendy, it's a little annoying, and I think what's a little creepy is that the older people, and no offense, look, I like getting them, okay? They're amusing, they're silly, they're different, but there's something a little odd when you're over-thirty, maybe over 35 and you're doing this stuff. And I get it that it's a novelty,

but I think people that do it think there's more interest in it than there really is. That's like, oh, there's my friend that I've known for 30 years, lip-sinking a Led Zeppelin song as a dog. Huh, I guess he or she had a little too much time on their hands. I guess he or she wants to be doing what the kids are doing.

And I guess, you know, who am I to judge? If it keeps you young, if it puts a smile on your face, so be it. I guess it's kind of a... But I think what's happening, I've gotten so many of these. I think of the sourness that you're hearing in my voice is because it's not that special when you send these anymore. It's like everybody's sending them. Everybody's doing them.

I don't know if I have a friend left that hasn't appeared in a video on my phone as a dog, a skull, a crybaby, a cat, a cop, a nurse. I mean, you know, there's only so many. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. I will be packaged and sent discreetly. for free and fast. Don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping.

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But I'm also thinking as a, you know, you're talking to Captain Immaturity here right now, so who am I to judge? But it's a little weird when you see older people doing this stuff. You start to go, are we really losing it? You know, this whole internet, this self-absorbedness that you know we become very self-absorbed with the selfies and images of ourselves and now we're getting pulled into well i'm sure everybody wants to see me as a puppy

i'm sure everyone wants to see me who wouldn't want to see me with Elvis hair and i think we're being lulled into this this sense of self-celebrity where everyone and thinks the world's just waiting with bated breath to see what kind of madness they'll come up with next. But I guess the sad part is they're not coming up with it. So there's no originality in plastering something onto your face that wasn't created by you. Because I hate to say it, everyone else is doing it.

And I guess the bottom line is it isn't that special. And now all my friends who do it are going to hear this and go, well, screw him. That's the last time I send him a video of me as a porcupine with Sophia Lorenz's boobs and Donald Trump's eyes.

What an asshole. You know, I was just about to send him this video of me lip-sinking a deaf leopard song with my hair on fire and my eyes like gigantic like an owl except they're Chinese. So he's going to get a Chinese

owl-eyed flaming-headed deaf leopard lip-sync video for me but screw him he's not dumping on my green screen george lucas special effects videos so there you go man oh you know what just keep them coming i'll laugh i'll be amused but i'd be more amused if you went out your garden and shot your own video and something original that I've never seen before. I guess that's my point. You've got a platform. You've got a camera. You've got a video camera.

You know, surprise me with something original. Don't send me the same old thing that the, you know, the grade fivers are sending around in their high schools. And if you don't have time for originality, then just send me you as a porcupine with a skull face and Jessica Simpson's teeth. They are. Hi. How are you doing? I got

your message. Thanks for calling. Yes. The, uh, I got you that the cookies are in the toaster. Is that what you, the message, or? I got your message that the cookies were in the toaster. I'm not sure what it means. but... I think you have a...

Well, I don't know, you guys called me, so I just wanted to follow up and see... I guess the cookies were in the toaster, is what I was told. Uh, no, thank you. Um, okay, well, geez. The Harland Highway, question of the day. Okay. So here it is, and this is a legit question. My question is, does advertising work?

Do commercials on TV work? Do you find yourself responding, being influenced by commercials on television? I don't know. Most of us just flip through them. We disregard them. We fast forward by them. We mute them. We don't like them.

But the ones that get through, have you ever found yourself, you know, reacting to an advertisement, a commercial on television, and getting up and, you know, doing something based on something you saw on TV? Have you test driven a car? Have you gone to a certain restaurant? Have you bought some prescription medicine? Have you bought a certain brand of tampon? And I think somehow a lot of it might be the subconscious where initially we don't react to advertising. But sometimes I think there is a knee-jerk reaction.

Case and point, and that's what made me think of this question of the day. I was in a hotel room. I was doing some shows on the road. And I was just laying on the bed, getting my socks on, getting pulling my jeans on, getting ready to start my day. I had no real agenda. And all of a sudden, a commercial for IHOP came on. And I was just like, oh, God, another commercial.

And it played a little longer. and I started to see the pancakes and the syrup drizzling and all of a sudden in my head I went, huh, I hop. I haven't been there forever. Hey, it's Saturday morning. Pancakes kind of seem pretty fitting for a Saturday morning. Well, damn it, man.

I'm going to go get me some IHop pancakes. So I get on my cell phone, and this is what amazes me. about modern technology. I get on my iPhone. I press the Google app. The microphone comes on. I press talk and I say, I hop restaurant near me. And by the way, the Google audio search is so much better than Siri. I find Siri misses what I say like, you know, 40% of the time. and the Google voice capture thing, man, it gets it every time.

I don't know that it's ever missed. So anyways, I ask where the nearest I hop is. Lo and behold, it's literally around the corner, like a six-minute walk. So I'm like, damn it, I'm going to go get me some pancakes, boy. So I put on my running shoes. It's a nice sunny day. Put on my sunglasses.

and my hat, I get out, I follow my GPS, another innovation that's brilliant. And I walk around the corner, right to the I hop, I sit down, I order the pancakes, but not before I grilled the waitress and said, what the hell is a Rudy-tootie, fresh, and fruity. And why do you put whipped cream on it? Who puts whipped cream on pants? Seems whipped cream seems to go on everything nowadays. cheesecake. I mean, isn't cheesecake fattening enough? Uh, sir, there's only, there's only 4,298 calories in that slice of cheesecake.

Okay, well, we're going to put some whipped cream on it, just top it off at 10,000 calories. Oh, thank you. And we have the defibrillators on the wall over by the men's room. Thank you again. Right? Now they put whipped cream on milkshakes. Sir, okay, there's milk and cream in here. There's ice cream that's made with milk and cream and butter, lots of butter. And, you know, the whole thing together probably, you know, is I'd say about 40,000 calories. Okay?

But just to make sure we top it off at 50,000, we're going to put a giant mountain of whipped cream on top of your ice cream. Who the hell needs... Who wants whipped cream on their ice cream? Why not just put a brick of butter and dump some bacon grease in there and mix it all up? I mean, holy God. So now they're putting whipped cream on top of pancakes at IHOP. And on top of that, they even have this new one now where they put the sprinkles, the colored

sprinkles that you see on donuts. I guess it's all about presentation, but for me, that's repulsive. It's like your, your presentation is sending me the other way. I don't want all that junk and sugar and fat on my already fattening syrup and butter drenched, healthy breakfast. Thank you very much. So I just got the good old. traditional buttermilk pancakes, right, syrup, butter.

And I kind of thought about it as I was sitting there, you know, the fact that I wouldn't have even been there had I not seen that commercial. And I feel like I'm a guy that's, you know, smarter than the advertisers. You know, oh, yeah, they can do all these fancy commercials with all their, you know, their nice shots and the car driving through the desert and the pancakes glistening with syrup and the hot girl biting into a quarter pound cheeseburger and all the all the production value they put on commercials. I always feel like I'm too smart for them and here I am sucking down a stack of buttermilk

pancakes at I hop because 10 minutes earlier I saw a commercial of it. Should I feel ashamed? Should I feel guilty? Should I feel duped? Should I feel manipulated? Or should I feel happy? Should I be gracious? Should I be, have gratitude?

It's like, oh my God, if it wasn't for your commercial, oh my God, I never would have had these delicious fluffy buttermilk pancakes. I didn't know what I was going to do with my morning. You know, I probably would have wandered around, maybe, you know, read the newspaper. And now here I am in this beautiful restaurant with this nice, sunny, cheery waitress, having a nice glass of apple juice and some wonderful fluffy pancakes. Thank you, television commercials. So I don't know. I guess my question of the day, are you moved?

Are you, are you, are you someone who is triggered when you see a, TV commercial. The Harland Highway question of the day. The Harland Highway question of the day. Hey, Harlan. It's Alex. Hey, I forgot the cookies in the toaster. If you can just give me a call back, I'm at the laundromat, and I'm doing the laundry. I forgot the cookies in the toaster. All right, just gave me a call back. Bye. Hey, laundry, I'm a happy, man.

Hey, how are you today? Fine, thank you. I just calling you back. I got your message. For who? I got your message about the cookies. The cookies, I think it's a wrong number. You left me a message that the cookies were in the toaster? No, this is wrong number, sir.

Well, I got the call that, I guess, the cookies are in the toaster. I thought I'd call back. I don't know. Where are you talking about? Well, you called me. I mean, you left me a better. You left me a message about, what? Oh, come on. Well, still can't locate the, you know what, at the laundromat, but we'll keep trying here. Can't say I'm not trying.

And now let's go to a segment that we haven't done in a while, and there's a reason I don't like to do it, okay? There's a game called Russian roulette. It's a horrible game. It's a violent game where, if you don't know what it is, it's you get a gun, you get a six-shooter, and you load it with one bullet, and you get with an opponent,

and basically you take turns putting the gun to the side of your head and pulling the trigger and praying that the chamber with the live round in it doesn't blast your head off. and unfortunately for whatever reason I may not be gifted it much but for some reason I am very very very gifted at this game if there was an Olympics

I would be the gold medal champion I've I've played Russian roulette with so many famous personalities celebrities it's gotten to the point where I'm the guy everyone wants to beat it's not a position I relish because it seems anyone who challenged me

ends up dead in a crumpled heap on the floor and so now sadly or gladly depending on how you like your entertainment another celebrity has emerged from the shadows and has demanded that I challenge them to a game of Russian roulette.

I think this individual thinks it'll be good publicity for his presidential campaign. I'm talking about Bernie Saunders. Bernie is here and wants to challenge me to Russian roulette. Are you sure about this, Mr. Saunders? Yes, I am very sure about this. I want to put the cold steel to the... side of my skull, and I want to prove to myself, to my followers, and to the country in general, that I, Bernie Sanders, am a warrior.

Okay, well, I'm just telling you, Bernie, that I never lose this game. Well, they also said that Hillary Clinton could not lose Wisconsin, and subsequently, I went in there with my team, with my message, and it was a landslide victory against Mrs. Clinton. Okay, well, that's, you know, that's the election. And this is final, Bernie. This is a gun to the side of the head and pull the trigger and boom your dad. I know I will not be intimidated by the likes of you, with all due respect, sir. I feel like maybe at this point you are stalling. You are manipulating the system.

And I think it is incumbent on you. to get on with it and stop slowing down the process. Okay, I'm just trying to give you a way out because I insist we begin right now. Okay, look, do you want to go first? I will go first to show, to demonstrate to the people of this great country that I have no fear. Okay, great. Here's the gun. Go ahead. Put it to the side of your head. Here I go. Russian roulette with Bernie Saunders. Go ahead, sir. Thank you very much. I will. Here I go. All right. I'm going to call it. Please do. All right. Mow. Mow. There. You see, I I am good at this as well as you. Okay, my turn.

Give me the gun. Here we go. Call it, please. I certainly will. Bow. Bow, bow, bow. Bow. All right, back to you, Bernie.

I accept that challenge. And I will stick the tip of this gun into my soft white. fluffy hair, where it will disappear, but I will still proceed to pull the trigger. Can you just stop talking and get on with it? I certainly will. Please call, make the call. All right, here we go. Mau! Mau! Mow! Once again, I, Bernie Sanders, have triumphed in the game of Russian roulette. leave, sir. With all due respect, it is now your turn. Thank you, Bernie. Thank you. Give me the gun. Thank you. Can you call it, please? Absolutely. Mau. Mau. Mow and dare I say, mao. See, nothing. I'm just,

it's not going to have, I'm giving you and we can stop right now. Please give me the gun and your stalling tactics will not work with someone as seasoned as myself. Please give me the gun and let it penetrate my soft fluffy Courtney white hair. Go ahead, Bernie, go for it. Thank you very much. Will you call it please? Yes, I will call it. Here we go. Thank you. Mao. Mau, Mao. You see, nothing. Mao, Mao. I'm very good at this. Mao, Mao, Mao, nothing. Ah!

There he goes. Oh, God. There's white hairs, beautiful white hair. I don't even want to say it. It looks like a strawberry milkshake. Poor guy. Listen, don't be mad at me. I know there's a lot of people out there

feeling the burn, and they love burning. Saunders. I tried to dissuade him. I tried to tell him to back off. I tried to push him away, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He had to prove a point. He's the bigger man. When is it going to stop? Finally, I'm a champion at something, and I couldn't feel more cold, empty, and alone here at the top, at the pinnacle of my sport. oh god let's move on roger let's have we figured out this thing at the laundry mat yet can we get can we get on that let's do one more call hey harland it's alex hey i forgot the cookies in the toaster um she can just give me a call back um at the laundry mat

and um i'm doing the laundry i forgot the cookies in the toaster um all right just give me a call back Cool. Bye. Village, Lodgerband, and you-ha. Hey, how's it going, man? All right. Cool. I was just calling you back. I got your message, so I thought I better hit you back. Who's this? I got the message at the... I don't know what it means with the cookies or in the toaster.

Well, I don't know who you're talking to, but... Well, I guess last night, they left me the message to give me the message to give give you a call the cookies are on the toaster I'm not sure I don't know what that that is

I don't know either but I thought I'd at least follow The laundromat Yeah they said They're at the laundromat And the cookies Are in the toaster

So I thought I better follow up Oh well There's no cookies baking and Is there a toaster Or anything there? No Oh boy

I'm uh I don't know what Maybe they Was it a girl or boy It was a dude It was a dude It didn't sound like you But it was definitely a dude

Well I'm a girl Oh you're a girl Yeah Oh you got I'm not I hope you don't take me You got kind of a deeper voice I know

I know Wow how old are you Old enough Well I could have swore You were a dude But now I feel bad But That's all right

everybody just mentioned you know wow wow this is rock in my world so no no cookies in the toaster and you're a dude no you're a girl yeah so no cookies in the toaster and you're a girl yeah well you sound like a dude yeah wow dude i mean i mean wow yeah well if you're a girl i mean That sounds sexist, but do you even bake cookies? Because most girls do, right? Yeah. But do girls that sound like dudes bake cookies? Yeah.

Oh, so you bake cookies? Yeah. But you don't... Very often, though. So, but there's none there? There's no cookies in the toaster? No. All right, ma'am.

Well, I don't know who left me the message, but... Okay. All right, well, thanks, ma'am. Okay. Your name's not David, is it? No. What is it? It's Cheryl.

Okay, it's not John or anything? No. Bruce? Nope, it's Cheryl. All right, well, thanks, Cheryl. Okay, and what's your name? Corky? Corky.

Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Cheryl. Bye. Bye. Well, oh, God. Look at old Corky. Listen, you can't say I didn't try.

I didn't, you know, thanks for the message, man. And I really tried the whole podcast I tried to call you back. And I sound a little agitated, but next time, could you please just leave a number? There's so many laundromats. And I'm not the type of guy that likes to leave business hanging. So I'm probably going to keep calling and using up time. in my future podcast to track you down so just note to people who call me leave leave the number man or i can't reach you okay fair all right so i think i've exhausted myself on that today

i think we'll leave it right there um with my noble intentions and if you have any objections to that. Send me a Instagram of you as a puppy with flaming skulls on your Jessica Alba eyes. All right. Let's see. What do we got? Let's do some announcements. Tonight!

Oh, tonight, I'm in Canada. I'm in Edmonton, Canada, at a great comedy club. The comic strip at the West Edmonton Mall. Get your asses out here, will you? I mean, good Lord. I'm Canadian, man. Can you support your old buddy?

But actually you guys have been very supportive of me. Edmontonians have been incredible throughout the course of my career. I've played this club over and over throughout the decades. And usually I sell this damn club right out. That's how dedicated the Edmontonians are. And by the way, I thank all of you for your loyalty and for your patronage and enjoying what I do. And I got a lot of new material I want you guys to see.

I can have a lot of fun. So Edmonton, tonight the 28th of April through to Sunday night, the 1st of May. And then on May 2nd, on the Monday night, I'm going to be driving down to Red Deer, which is halfway between Edmonton and Alberta. We're doing one night. at Mo's Bar and Grill.

It's just a one-night show only. And so if you're listening in Calgary and you can't make it out to Edmonton, come on up to Red Deer. I think it's only about an hour and 20-minute drive. And get your tickets online. It's going to be a great show. Another great Canadian comedian, Sean Tweedley,

will be doing the show with me. He'll be opening for me. And you don't want to miss Sean. He's great. And who knows, me and him, he and I might even do some improv after we finish the stand-up portion of the show. Sometimes he and I have been known to do that. We finish our routines and then we start doing improv if time permits. So, yeah, boys and girls, get your tickets.

Go to Harland Williams.com. Okay. Okay. And check out the stand-up tour link, and it'll take you to everywhere you need to go to get your tickets. As I said, it probably will sell out, no lies. I would get your tickets now, so you're not disappointed. Let's see, the following weekend, yours truly is in New York City, Manhattan. Yes, May 13th and 14th, I will be rocking it hard at the Gotham.

Comedy Club. Great club. I love that club. I was there just about a year ago. I hosted Gotham Live. And this time I'm coming back just to do two nights of straight stand-up. It's going to be a blast. Again, tickets at Harlandwilliams.com. While you're there, check out our store. We have great fun merchandise. We will ship to you. You won't be disappointed. Some great stuff. T-shirts, books, DVDs, CDs, digital. Downloads. Oh, the list goes on and on. T-shirts, artwork, just tons of cool stuff. Kids books, yeah.

Many of you don't know, I do write and illustrate children's books. Check it out. And also, don't forget, well, you're at harloughwilliams.com. You can write to me. You can leave me a message. I might read your message on the air. Or you can leave me a phone call. a phone message like Alex did.

323-739-43-30. See, Alex, I give my number out. That way I don't have to chase you all over every laundromat looking for you. 3-2-3-739-433-30 if you want to call me. For whatever reason, the phone system is rigged up, so it rings about eight times before my answering machine picks up. So don't be dissuaded if it just keeps ringing. it's about a six to eight ring weight. So I'm trying to fix that.

But for now, just be patient. And you will have your chance to talk. And I might play your message on the air. How about that? Don't forget to get our app for your cell phone. So you can listen to the Harland Highway wherever you may be. It's a great app. You got to check it out.

It's totally free. Honest to God, no gimmicks. It's 100% free. You get the most current 50 episodes totally free. No charge to join, nothing. And then if you want to get the back library of shows, which is over 700, it's only $20 a year, plus my premium content, live stand-up footage, special interviews. I do another podcast called Let's Have a Fight.

only hear it if you're a premium member it's a great podcast lots of fighting lots of comedy and uh i urge you to check it out man oh wait we're she a great big fat person so that's it for now uh join the premium 20 bucks a year that's it and i thank everyone who has joined and i thank you if you do join it helps keep the podcast machine uh functioning here believe it or not. It's a big help. So thank you guys and gals. And that's it for now.

I hope you had a good time. Sorry about Bernie Sanders. Tough day for him at the Russian roulette tournament. But I warned them. And I'm warning you. Have a good day. Keep on smiling. Go get some pancakes.

And until next time, chicken. Chalmy. Baby. It's not David, is it? No. What is it? It's Cheryl. Okay, it's not John or anything?

No. Bruce? Nope, it's Cheryl. All right, well, thanks, Cheryl.