The Harland Highway - 766 - Corporal TOM DOWDY calls the show. Crazy eagles. GOD!

Episode Date: May 12, 2016

Corporal TOM DOWDY calls the show. Crazy eagles. And a quick chat about GOD! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good evening, boys and girls. What an excellent podcast we have for you today. All right, that was really a real creepy way to alienate you right out of the gate. Apologies, please don't turn it off. We have a great show today for reals, dudes and dudeettes. We have a crazy news story that's a little bit startling and upsetting. Ooh, yeah. It's a little stomach turning. Wait, do you hear the crazy news story?

Also, Colonel Tom Dowdy, French lieutenant, major corporal Tom Dowdy from the U.S. military is calling in. It sounds like he might have an answer for suicide bombings, for suicide bombers, yeah. Sounds like he might. he might know how to obliterate them. So that should be interesting to hear. Also got an interesting letter from a pavement ponder talking about the great almighty. The great almighty up in the sky.

The one who listens to this podcast. I know you're listening, God. You created me. You better be listening. I'll be mad if you're not God. Okay. Well, let's all get down on our knees and pray that he is. This is the Harland.

Highway... Where I am I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What you're talking about Williams? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck.

Oh God, what's happening here? What's happened? Hey, Harland, it shall leave. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Because they are hard.

That is fantastic. What's wrong with everybody in this crazy place? The Harland Highway. What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams.

You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Hello? Hello? Hey, Harlan. Selina Gomez here. I wanted to sing you a song.

I want to eat Gouda for you, Gouda for you, Holland. I want to eat Gouda for you, Gouda for you, Holland Williams. Anyway, man, love your podcast. Keep making me laugh. I am a premium member now. Thanks to you. Much love, dude. Peace.

I want to eat gooda for you, good up for you. Well, thanks, Selena. Your voice, you know, when you sing Akka, Capella, it's a lot different than when you sing, you know, with your, with your music, but such a beautiful voice. Hey, thanks for listening. Thank you for signing up for the premium membership. 20 bucks a year is all at cost.

You get all, every back episode of the podcast. You get my bonus podcast. Let's have a fight. and you also get bonus stand-up comedy stuff and special interviews with some of the characters and blah, blah, blah. So thank you for that. And please sign up for the premium membership

on the Harland Highway app. Just type in the Harlan Highway on your cell phone and the app store and you can join up. Let's take another call. Hey, Harland. Your episode with Corporal Tom Dowdy really inspired me. I have a little poem here. Hello, Harland, or should I say howdy? I loved the call with Corporal Tom Dowdy. Give that man respect. He's a hero for real. Time for

Telitubbies. This nation must heal. So listen up civilians, put your big boy pants on, and fire up an endless war cry of the Telatubby song. Chica, chica-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-choo-main, baby. Hello? Hello? Hello, civilian. Hello? Uh, go ahead. You are clear to go.

Wait a minute. Who is this? I think you know this is civilian. Is that Corporal Major Tom Dowdy? Dingo. B-I-N-G-O. Dingo. You are a go.

uh whoa well we that is very odd we were we were just talking about you on on the show we just got a phone call from i know believe me i know i have my sources of civilian um okay uh oh wow uh what's going on uh inspector french french commander uh lieutenant corporal first Division Dowdy? Well, I thought I checked in with you on something very important. Oh, okay. What have you got, sir?

Have you heard of these suicide bombers? Oh, yeah. Yeah, they are wreaking havoc around the globe, sir. Exactly. I think I might have a solution. Civilian. Whoa, what do you mean? Well, I think I might have figured these suicide bombers out. Okay, I'm listening.

We're all ears. Well, in order to be suicidal, civilian, you've got to be depressed, would you agree? I think so. I mean, it's not often you see someone who just won the lottery. There's someone who just bought a new car Light themselves on fire Can I get a confirmation on that? I'm sorry, sir?

Can I get a confirmation, civilian? Yes, sir, I would confirm that. How often have you seen a young child Slash their own wrists at their birthday party? Well, that's getting a bit grim, sir. Can I get a confirmation on that, civilian? Okay, I've never seen a kid. Slash their own wrists at their birthday party.

That's because they're happy. Have you ever seen a family on a picnic? Pull out some salami, some French bread, a nice bottle of red vino, some crackers, and a sod off shotgun, and shoot their own heads off civilian. Whoa, whoa, no, no, I haven't seen that. Sir, that's a little morbid.

Have you ever seen a woman just give birth to a baby, hand the bundle of joy to her husband, and then walk over to a window and step out and creed to the ground far below, splattering all over the place while her little baby screamed in the background. Have you? No, I haven't. Sir, I get the point.

I get the point. That's right, civilian. You're not going to commit suicide if you're happy. If you've got a smile on your face, civilian, you're not going to commit suicide. Okay, you're getting a little creepy corporal, lieutenant, captain major. Let me say it again. Just so we're clear, Silliam, if you are happy, you are not going to commit the suicide.

Okay, sir, yes, we're not going to do with the suicide bombers of ISIS. and the terrorist groups that are blowing themselves up. It's simple, civilian. We keep them happy, and there's no more boom, boom, bang, bang, bye, bye. What was that, sir? I said, boom, boom, bang, bang, bye, bye. What is that? Is that code for something?

That's a suicide bomber. self up. That's what it sounds like. Boom, boom. Bang, bang. Bye, bye. So you're getting a little creepy here today, if you don't mind me saying. Well, if saving lives is creepy civilian, you can go shove your head in a basket of

asparagus and suck the silkworms out of the fabric of that. That's fucking vegetable. What was that, sir? I think you heard me civilian. I'm not sure I even understand that, sir. What? Boorah. Sir, what is your solution to stopping the suicide bombers and keeping them happy?

It's real simple. All suicide bombers get a free yearly. Pass to Disneyland. What? You heard me, civilian. You let these suicide bombers walk around with Mickey Mouse. You know Mickey Mouse, don't you, Civilian? I think he sounds something like this.

Oh, hi. Hi, suicide bomber. I hope you're feeling chipper today, and you blow my little black ears off. You know that, boys? What, was that you, sir? You're damn right it was. Where did you learn to do Mickey Mouse's voice? Let me tell you something to you.

When you're in the jungles of Vietnam, 24 hours a day, for 28 days at a time, when you're crawling through swamps full of electric eels, when you got leeches sucking blood out of the arteries on your neck. When you've got ants crawling in the wounds all over your body, you find a way to go to the happiest place on earth. Oh, we're surrounded by goks. Or, uh-oh, looks like we're surrounded by gooks.

You see what I'm saying, Zavillian. Okay, that sounds just a little kooky. You're proposing that suicide bombers, wander around in Disneyland? Exactly. You're going to be brushing up against Donald Duck. You're going to be, oh, by the way. Are you doing Donald Duck now, sir?

Are you doing Donald Duck now, sir? Dingo. What the hell? I told you when you're alone in the jungles of Vietnam, and it's raining from hell. And you got gooks all around you. With sniper rifles and flamethrowers, you better learn to do Donald Duck real quick, civilian. Wow, wow, you got me?

Sir, this is sounding a little. You've got Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, and goofy all around you at Disney World. You're going to be smiling. Oh, gosh, it looks like a suicide bomber. Wait a minute, is that goofy now? You better believe it. I'm not even going to ask, sir. All I'm saying, civilian, is if you have suicide bombers wandering around Disney World,

there's no way in your grandmother's ass crack that they're going to pull the trigger. Because when you, I'm the happiest place on earth. Yeah, there's no time to be depressed. Sir, I don't think you want to mingle. terrorists with people at Disneyland. There's another thing. There's another thing? You heard me, civilian.

Dairy queen. Dairy queen? I think all suicide bombers should be given free dairy queen 24-7, 365 days a year. Meaning that Dairy Queen's going to make them happy? You're fucking right, civilian. Sir, if you could just watch your language. You're fucking right, civilian? You know, doing it in Mickey Mouse's voice

doesn't blunt the aggressiveness of that. I'll do whatever I want, because I'm out here thinking about your survival, you pimple ass, fuck up from Tennessee. I'm not from Tennessee, sir, and I don't have a pimply ass. I bet you do have a pimply ass. And one of these days,

I'm going to make. You do 52 push-ups and a pile of big piss with your pants down just to... Not, sir! Can you please refrain from the military trash talk? Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes.

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So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harlan. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Why just survive back to school when you can thrive by creating a space that does it all for you, no matter the size. Whether you're taking over your parents' basement or moving to campus, IKEA has hundreds of design ideas and affordable options to complement any budget. After all, you're in your small space era. It's time to own it. Shop now at IKEA.ca. That's points a million, and you better get your ears on because this is important. My final point, every single exomic terrorist, every single suicide bomber, are you listening?

Yes, I'm listening, sir, Lieutenant Corporal, Wright Commander? Teddy, Ruckspin. What? Every one of these fucking guys, these suicide bombers gets a Teddy Ruckspin. What are you talking about? Picture it. You got a suicide bomber, wandering around Disneyland the happiest place on earth. In one hand, he's got a peanut buster barfay from Dairy Queen.

And in the other hand, he's cradling his very own Teddy Rexpin, you're saying. I love you, Ahmed. I really love you, really. You are my best friend, Ahmed. You see where I'm going like this? Are you telling... Did you just do Teddy Ruckspin telling a suicide bomber that he loves him?

You nailed it, pimple ass. Sir, if you could stop calling me pimple ass. I bet you sit around all day on that big fat, purple ass yours, and it's just crawling with fucking acne. I bet looking at your ass is like looking at the star-filled skies from a swamp in Vietnam. Sir, I don't have a pimply ass. And are you nuts terrorist bombers wandering around Disney World with a Dairy Queen Blizzard and a Teddy Ruxpin telling them they love them?

Can't you just picture a civilian? Those suicide bombers are never going to be suicidal again. They're going to be happy. as a tree-toed climbing up the back side of your shriveled up cock. Sir, if you could stop that talk, please. Oh, look at you! You've got yourself a dairy-green blizzard. Ha-ha! And who's your funny little friend? Hi, I'm Teddy Ruxpin, and I love Ahmed. He's my friend.

Oh, boy! Ha-ha! You hear that civilian. That's the sound of happiness. That's the sound of happiness. That's the sense. Sound of no more suicide bombing. And you can bet your favorite shiny silver dollar and shove it right between your simple, riddled ass cheats. Sir, I'm not going to hear any more of this. I think this is a bad idea.

I appreciate your concern. I appreciate you trying to find a solution to this problem, but sending terrorists, giving him a free ticket to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth. And a free dairy queen and a Teddy Ruckspin that tells them they love him? Everybody needs to love civilian.

Even your rotten, simply ass. I don't have a... You know what? Hang up on him. I'm not going to take this abuse. Why don't you come over here and I'll use my military-grade fingers

to pop those fucking pussy volcano like zits on your puffed-up pretty boy-ass cheeks? Let's hang up on him, Rod. Roger, hang up on him. Oh, boy, look if a big juicy zits on that fat ass. Hang up! God! What the hell?

Why do we... Unbelievable. Is he gone? I can't believe he says those things to me a pit... Is he... Hang up! Jesus, the most... absurd thing I've ever heard in my life. I want to apologize to our listeners for having to

endure that ridiculous concept. My God. You know what? Let's go to a, let's take a little break. Will I get my thoughts together here and we'll come right back? Roger, play something. Jesus. Mom? I've got to ask you something real personal. Do you douche? I sure do. But only with Massingville, vinegar, and water. Why Massingale, vinegar, and water? That's what my doctor recommends.

For a naturally fresh feeling, only Massengill has two vinegar and water duches, pure, extra mild, and extra cleansing when you need it. You'll see how clean and fresh, Massengel makes you feel. Massengel, trusted by more women than any other brand. All right, let's move to something more positive. Next time, give me a heads up if we get a phone call. I might just second, you know, second guess having Corporal Commander, Lieutenant, Major Tom Dowdy on again.

That was a little dark. Let's go to something a little brighter. I got an email from one of the pavement pounders. And normally I read them all during the, you know, the mailbag. But this one jumped out at me a little bit, and I thought I'd read it to you. This came from a gentleman named Tom, and I think he was commenting. I did a podcast a little bit ago talking about American values, and what are they, and where are they? You know, it was a pretty interesting talk about American values, and Tom responded with the subject heading,

why American values changed. So let me read his message. Please read Harland. Very important. If I mention God, I hope you don't shut me off. Never. Why would I shut you off for God? Come on, Tom.

We love God. He says, you say you want to know what's on our mind. And yes, I do. And he continues, when you ask for forgiveness and receive Jesus as Savior, God will lead you to the Bible. When you receive Jesus, God's spirit comes in and changes your heart. Do you see what's happening?

Of course you do. America has been removing God from society, and you see the results. The Bible says Satan is the God of his own world. Or sorry, the Bible says Satan is the God of this world, in brackets for now. It's going to get worse until Jesus comes back. Love your work. Saw you in Houston a while back. Thanks for the laughs. I need it. Tom. Well, Tom seems a bit disenchanted that I've never brought up God before. So I wrote Tom back on the Harland Highway contact page and I said, thank you, Tom. I agree 100%. I have actually done

several podcasts regarding love, faith, and the greatness of God. Thank you for your email. I'll be sure to read it on the air, and now I am doing so. You know, I've told you before, I'm not a big holy roller religious guy. I'm not as much of a organized religion guy, because I think a lot of the problems of humanity have stemmed from organized religion, but I never discount the presence of God and the power of a greater force and the power of good. And trust me, Tom, I totally agree with you that Satan. and wanders this earth man and it's tough because us humans are susceptible us humans are weak

and and and i do believe there are forces of good and evil on earth and and luckily and i hope this makes you happy i know it makes me happy i've always felt god in my heart i've always felt God in my soul. I don't know if I define God as the God that is defined under the umbrella of organized religion. But for whatever reason, I instinctually, I naturally, as a human being, feel a connection to a greater unknown, unseen force of good. and unfortunately i've also felt the touch of the unknown uh forces of evil of bad i think we all have and i think every day we human beings who are are strong at times and weak at times it's a dance

we we must struggle every day with uh you know walking that line and i think the point of your letter I think I'm right here, but I think what you're saying is as we progress as a society, as we move along in this mortal life that we have, I think the forces of bad and evil are constantly knocking on our door, and at times it seems they're getting bigger and stronger. That is until you see something good and pure and right come along, and it knocks it back. and so I think it's as sure as it gets dark at night and as sure as it gets sunny in the day, I believe that these two forces go back and forth against each other

on a daily basis. And I do agree with you, Tom, that, you know, for whatever reason, whether it's the forces of darkness or if it's just the forces of people who don't have an opinion, if it's the forces of atheists, if it's the forces of the ACLU, I don't know, but I do agree with you that slowly and surely society and government has begun and has been successful at pushing God and religion more and more out of the equation. You know, things like taking down the Ten Commandments and there was one recently.

There was a symbol here in California, I think, or I'm not sure it was in California. I think it was here. I think it was the symbol for the state or for one of the unions or something like that where they had a picture of a building with a cross on it and they were talking about removing it

from all symbols that had this image on it. And it's just another example of things being. taken away and deleted and removed and kind of taking God and Jesus out of the equation. And again, I'm not a holy roller, and I don't necessarily like being preached at, and I don't like being told what to, you know, what to worship and when to worship. but I do kind of like the omnipresence of reminders,

whether it be a statue or a placard, or a Christmas tree or a manger. I like these things where we're reminded of the presence of God, you know, the presence of something bigger than us. and Tom, I think I did a podcast about around this time, maybe last year, where I had done a road trip through France. I just drove a car right across France, all the way down the coast, on the west coast of France,

and then all the way along the southern tip of France, and then down all the way around to Italy and down into Rome. And if you can find that podcast, I'm not sure which, one it is, but I commented on how that in every little town I went through, the predominant piece of architecture that stuck up out of the village, almost like a flagpole, you could see it coming for miles as you're driving down the road, were these really tall, large churches, which were the centerpiece of every little French town. and I think my commentary, I won't go, I won't rehash it all because I already did it on that podcast,

but if you can find it, and I said, I thought it was incredible that these churches were the nucleus and the centerpiece of the town, and whether you attended church or not, you had to drive past that church every day under the big cross, and not in a guilty way, but just in a presence type of way, you kind of had to visually see and remember God. Now, whether you chose to ignore it or not believe in it, that's up to the individual. But I thought it was interesting that this symbolism was there. And to me, it gave a sense of community.

It gave a sense of, I don't know, something positive. Because, you know, think about it, there's not a lot of unifying, symbols on this planet that bring human beings together. God knows there's enough things on this planet that tear people apart. And so maybe seeing something that sparks, you know, that the feelings of love and community and togetherness are very important. And I see what you're saying, Tom, that the more we diminish, the more we take away these

symbols and these prayers and things like that, the less future generations, you know, learn to rely on them or be stimulated by them or want them. And then all of a sudden we live in a world where there's really no reminder of, you know, hey, be good to each other. God is good, you know. And again, even if it's in a subtle way, I don't like. being forced. You know, I said it. When Ted Cruz was campaigning,

I don't like it when politicians go, I am running for president under the watchful eye of the Christian God. And it's like, you know, that's too much to me. But to obliterate, to wipe out symbols of God, I think you're right, is tough to watch. And I think it's a dangerous thing for people in general. whether you believe in God or not.

Those are just my feelings. You don't have to agree with those, obviously. But Tom, I hear you. I feel you. And I was a little surprised that you were worried that, you know, your quote is, if I mention God, I hope you don't shut me off. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We do not shut off God here on this podcast.

We, uh, I personally, uh, you know, I personally, uh, love God and feel good about God, whatever that God represents to me, uh, this greater force that's out there. But that's, that's a topic for a whole other day, but I just wanted to respond to your, your email. Uh, again, I'm not, I'm not a religious holy roller, but I, I do think the presence of God in the world is a positive, re-implementation. forcing energy that is very healthy for the togetherness and the bonding of humankind of races, creeds, colors, religions. It's, you know, sometimes you need an invisible glue to help keep things together. And I certainly think in many ways, God, not organized religion,

but God can provide that even if we don't know it or to some degree even if people don't believe it. I think it might be there whether you like it or not. So great message from Tom. Thank you for your concern. And I hope I gave you a good answer there. I hope you found something in that that made you feel good and positive. And if not, I can't make it up. I can't fudge my answer just to make people happy.

So thank you. And if anyone else wants to write to me, you can write to me at harlunewilions.com. We do have a contact page. You can leave your email there for me to read. Or you can even call me at 323-739-4330 if you want to leave a message. All right. Let's keep on rolling here, man. Thank you, Tom.

and uh let's uh roge what are we doing next the harland highway crazy news story that's weird that's strange stuff okay okay this one is a little cray cray cray

a little cray um how many of you y'all have been online and watched the uh the live eagle cam There's a nest full of bald eagles, and somehow they got up there, and they put cameras near the nest, and you can actually watch the live streaming feed on the internet of the eagle.

And, you know, they had some little eggs and the eggs hatched, and now there's two eagle chicks, and they're growing every day, and you can watch them eat and, you know, bring fish, and you watch them starting to learn to fly and yada, yada, yada. So here's the headline. You ready? This one's rough. Eagle cam shows eagles feeding cat to young.

Oh, God. Yeah, here's the story. A live bald eagle cam of a nest in Pittsburgh caught some eye-raising activity when an eagle brought its eglitz a cat home for lunch. Yes, a house cat. Wildlife officials believe the cat was dead when brought to the nest. Some viewing the live cam were distressed that the eagles were eating a cat and questioned whether the animal was someone's pet.

Well, it was, is the key word. It probably was someone's pet. I'm sorry for the cat and I'm sorry if it was someone pet, Kathy Knight said on the Audubon Facebook page. I understand how nature works, but it's still heartbreaking to see. Well, you know, that's just nature, man. You know, we are the ones that have put, we are the ones that have put all this stuff on domestic animals, cats and dogs. But really, they're just creatures.

To other creatures, they're just other creatures. And to an eagle, catching a cat is just as easy as catching a fish. Meat is meat. when you're in the wild. So I know it's tough for us humans to see, but, you know, the Audubon Society of Western Pennsylvania noted that the incident was part of nature, and nature isn't always kind or pretty. No, it's not.

Well, many may cringe at this. The eagles bring squirrels, rabbits, fish, and other animals into the nesting multiple times each day. The society said in the post, to people, the cat represents, a pet, but to the eagles and to other raptors, the cat is a way to sustain the eaglets and help them grow. It's kind of what I just said, thank you. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. The majority of commenters noticed that it is best to keep cats indoors, not only to prevent

eaglets from snatching them, but also to prevent cats from killing songbirds. Oh, I see. So the tables have turned. That's right. We must remember Lurtle blurts. and glargiflarkins. How often have you seen a house cat take down the robin in the yard

or the blue jay or the sparrow? Huh? Huh? Now the tables are turned. Now a giant bird comes out of the sky and the predator has become the prey. Interesting. I didn't think of that angle. But that's, you know, that's just, that's the laws of nature, man. That's the way it works.

It's everything is very vulnerable out in nature. But it's got to be tough. I even met a girl, talked to a girl I know, who saw this happening live. And she was obviously kind of a soft, sensitive soul who loved cats and dogs. And she said she had to look away. She couldn't watch it. Can you imagine that? You're, well, look at the cute little baby eagles.

Oh, they're so fluffy. I wish I had one. And then, ah, ah, pf, daddy lands with, you know,

Mr. whiskers. Wait a minute. What, what is that? How, what? Ah!

How did a cat get into the nest? Oh my God, he brought it home for dinner. Oh, my God. They just start ripping it apart with their giant

raptor claws and their curved razor sharp beaks. Wow. That's rough, that's rough. You don't expect that. Yeah, these animals, bald eagles are incredible. I have a little story when I used to work up north in bush country back in my lumberjackin days,

my forest ranger days. I was at the bush camp one Sunday morning all by myself and I wandered down to the lake we were on. And, you know, this was a really remote part of the world. this is up in northern Canada, and I was fishing on the end of a dock, and all of a sudden a bald eagle kind of appeared in the horizon, started, you know, flying over the lake towards me. And I'm like, oh, look at that. Look at that beauty, you know, because they're so big you can't miss them.

And so this bald eagle came almost beeline right towards me when it got about 25, you know, yards. away from me, I'd say. It suddenly something dropped out of its talons. I was like, whoa, what was that? Something literally dropped through the air and splashed into the lake. I was like, what the hell? And so I'm pretty proficient with a casting rod.

I got really good aim and I can kind of hit the mark when I want to. I've been fishing my whole life. So I was like, man, I'm going to see if I can hook into whatever that is. So sure enough, I cast my line out. Bingo. I got it. My lure went right over the thing. It hooked it in. I reeled it in and I reeled it up. It was half of a rabbit. I pulled half of a rabbit up out of the water. Half of it was just one half of a rabbit. It was kind of startling and shocking, but I kind of went, wow, man, these guys are lethal. These birds are lethal. And of course, it was great for me. I could, I had, you know, I could.

I'd put down the fishing rod, and I immediately began to eat the rabbit. What a delicious snack. I was like, I can play your game, dude. I was, like, sitting there. I didn't even use my hands. I just dropped it on the dock, and I just kind of bent over and pecked at it with my face. And just, I said, I can, I can play your game player. You won't play eagle with me.

I can eat like an eagle player. And I'm just like pecking. Oh, wow. No, I didn't. I did not peck away at a rabbit on a dock that I caught on a fishing line. But I did really pull in the rabbit. It was pretty startling. So there you go.

There's your crazy news story. And I think we'll leave it right there so you can let that, all that, you know, what's the word? Marinate. You can marinate in all those visuals of cats and rabbits and eagles and raptors and sparrows and just, oh, the carnage. And then we talk about God. Why is there a God that lets all this madness happen? Well, there must be a reason. Have faith.

Have faith, my people. Anyways, man. Before we go, let's do a few announcements here. Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. This week, don't forget, I will be in New York. Oh, yeah, baby. New York.

Friday and Saturday. May 13 and 14, I will be there, starting tomorrow night. Oh, yes, starting tomorrow night. Yeah, May 13 and 14th, I will be at the Gotham Comedy Club, Gotham Live, right there in Manhattan. Go to my website, Harlem Williams.com, and you can reserve your tickets now so you don't get burned at the door, man. Um, yeah, I would love to see you there. It's a great club. We're going to have all kinds of fun at Gotham in New York City. Uh, also, uh, well, you're at Harlow Williams.com.

Check out our store. We have all kinds of great merchandise we can send you. Browse around and look at the, uh, the fun items, digital downloads, T-shirts, artwork, books, DVDs, all kinds of fun stuff. Um, and like I said, please join our premium membership. You can do that when you get our, uh, our, uh, our, app. We now have an app for the Harland Highway. It's real easy to acquire. You just go to your app store, type in the Harland Highway, and it should pop up. And you can download it for free.

You get the most current 50 episodes of the podcast for free. And if you want the whole almost 800, almost 800 backlogged episodes, you can get those by joining the premium membership. It's only $20 a year. Okay, I know guys that are charging $5 a month. I know people that charge almost $100 for a year, $20 a year, and I create more content than most podcasters do. Also, with the premium content, you get my tapings of my live stand-up, you get interviews with other characters,

you get special things, you get my other podcast called, Let's have a fight. There's so much there, so much value in your 20 bucks. So please join up. Also, as I said, you can write me at harlandwiliams.com. Or you can phone me and leave me a message if that's easier. 323739-4330. That's 323-739-4330.

The phone number is at the website if you can't remember this one. When you do call the phone rings five or six times before it picks up. So don't give up on it. For some reason, we have a long ring session in the answering machine. We're trying to fix that, so it picks up right away. But hang in there. You will be able to leave your message. So that's it.

Thank you so much for being here, everybody. Great to have you. Watch out for Eagles. Okay, wear a helmet or something. And until next time, chicken. Chaumain, baby! Chicka, chicka, chicka, chica, chica, chichua, chichia chichia chow maine, baby.