The Harland Highway - 776 - BIGFOOT is FOUND. Harland talks to man who has his skull.

Episode Date: June 20, 2016

Man finds BIGFOOT skull and is interviewed by Harland. Question of the day and phone calls from listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Golden years, wop, wop, wop, gold, wop. I wonder if Italians were offended by that song. Golden years, wop, wop, all right, who knows. I'm not Italian, I just thought I'd ask. Welcome to the Harlan Highway, where you can be any nationality to enjoy the madness. What a show we have today. Holy smokes. We have a crazy, crazy news story that involves a crazy, crazy creature.

So you don't want to miss the crazy news story today. Also, we're going to be listening to some of your phone calls, the pavement pounder phone calls from you guys, our listeners. And also, we're going to be talking to a man who says he found something very, very crazy. We're going to be having a guy call in who said he found something, a mysterious creature. that we've all wondered about. So get ready for that interview. It should be fascinating.

And then later in the show, the Harland Highway Question of the Day, where we ask you about something that has to do with your driving ability, your driving skills. Are you safe? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? You'll find out when we do the question of the day here on the Harland.

Highway. What am I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What you're talking about Williams? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh God, what's happening here? What's happening? Hey, Harlan. It's Shelley.

You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. Yeah. That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway.

What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic.

The Harland Highway. Crazy news stories. That's weird. Wow. That's strange stuff. Okay. Here we go. Here it is.

It had to happen. This is a crazy news story. This is real right out of the newspaper. I don't make these up, gang. Here's the headline. Believe it or not. But this is it. I'm going to read it to you.

Man claims to have found Bigfoot skull. Whoa. We've all been waiting for this. This came out of Texas. Story says, well, on a hike near his home in Ogden, Utah, Todd May felt himself drawn toward something. I would go out there often and find things, fossils, and rocks. I looked around for about half an hour, then I saw it. What May saw was a 75-pound object he claims is the fossilized head of a Bigfoot.

The Bigfoot known to some as Sausquatch is a fabled ape-like creature that has been spotted hundreds of times in the northwestern United States. Living in a hotspot for Bigfoot sightings, May said he had been interested in the mythological creature his whole life. Wow! In the past few years, he claims to have seen at least two different creatures that he believes are Bigfoot's. Wow, how about that? Most people would never see that in their whole life, and this gentleman saw two just in the last few years. The first time I saw one, I was startled.

It looked like an ape from the zoo, he said. The creature appeared out of nowhere and then ran off a few seconds after the man and creature made eye contact, he says. Ooh. After the first spotting of a big foot, May had started visiting the Ogden Canyon area more, hoping for another glimpse. He would visit a hot springs in the area

and often felt someone or something pegging him with rocks. You know, because the Bigfoot's probably pissed that some, like, you know, white trash trailer dude is in his hot spring. You know, Bigfoot's like, oh, man, this was supposed to be a spa day for me, man. I was supposed to lounge in the hot springs and then do some tanning

and then expoliate with some, you know, some willow leaves later. And now there's like some dude in my hot springs. You know, hey, Larry, get me some rocks. I'm going to throw some rocks at this dude. Maybe get them to move on. The gentleman says, I just thought it was kids throwing the rocks. But then my friend was playing her flute outside and had a couple of witnesses who saw the Bigfoot, he said.

Oh, okay, so your friend, while you're in the hot tub and the Bigfoot was throwing rocks at you, nearby your female friend was playing a flute. Of course, outside, you know, because when I'm lounging in a hot tub, nothing relaxes me more than some soothing outdoor floutist with their wonderful nature harmony. to put me in the mood. Good Lord.

He says the red-furred one was a lot bigger, and it spooked me more. May said of the second creature he spotted about a year later. Oh, the red-furred one. So apparently there's a ginger big foot. The pippy long stockings of big-footes is out there, folks. We got a ginger. Next time a kick a ginger day comes around, let's all head out into the woods and kick old the red-headed bigfoot. Apparently there's a Scottish big foot in the woods.

Maybe one day when your friends playing the flute, the Scottish bigfoot can come out of the pine trees with his bagpipes. And, you know, they can join in together and make a little music. And you can relax in your hot springs. with the soothing sounds of flutes and bangpipes up on the ridge. Good Lord. He says it was night and May was hiking through the wilderness with a flashlight. I heard across the river someone say, Oh my God, it's a monster.

He flashed his light around and the beam fell upon the face of an 8 to 10 foot tall, red, furred, ape-like creature, he said. It was about 20 feet away, he estimates. It stared at him, then slowly walked off. Well, what do you want a big Scottish bigfoot to do? In the middle of the night, you're shining a light in its eyes. You want, do you? Go on, give me a kiss then.

If you're going to shine the light in my eyes, go on give me a kiss. And while you're at it, why don't you give me a sobriety test? If you're going to shine the light in my eyes, A couple of months later, May said he was in the same area and spotted what appeared to be a handprint on top of a rounded surface. He dug the large object out of the surrounding dirt and saw a familiar face. Quote, it had the same facial structure as the creatures I had seen, he said. Since finding the object in 2013, May said he's had hundreds of people weigh on in their opinion about this thing. he says there's haters out there other bigfoot enthusiasts that don't like that i found something

first may said people have noted the opinion of the utah professor when the story first appeared who said the object was just a rock and trust me folks i'm looking at a picture of it it does look like a rock but it's one of those rocks you ever you ever get the the weird potato that looks like George Washington or you get a potato chip that looks like Jesus or somebody sees a stain on a wall and they think it's Jesus. That's what this rock looks like. It's got a few weird indentations and bumps. And so if you look at it in a certain light tilted a certain way, it looks maybe like a Bigfoot skull or something. Or something, big quotes. The professor said he just saw the picture that was in the paper. He knows.

never saw it in person. When you actually see it, you can't help but see that it's a face. The university said after viewing the object, it is without doubt just a highly weathered rock. You know, people see what they want to see, I guess. They go on to say, often the natural fractures or joints in the rock are sites of increased weathering, chemical breakdown of the rock as they interact with the rainwater, where you have these types of depressions that form. It's not Bigfoot's head, the professor

said. Fossil skulls, he says, are extremely fragile and are made of bone which has a different texture and composition than a rock like this. But Mr. May is still on the road with his Bigfoot finding, hoping to get the word out to whoever will listen that the world is more

mysterious than we could ever know. He stopped by the newspaper Unannounced Thursday morning One head on his shoulder And another in a storage bin I don't know where I'm going next But people need to see this And no Bigfoot's are real

And they're out there May said Well somebody's out there Because yeah This is just really a goofy looking rock But you know That's the legend of Bigfoot man People are so hungry to

so hungry to see Bigfoot that, you know, they'll create things to help perpetuate the myth. Now, that being said, I certainly believe it's possible that there's big foots out there. I hope there is. I want there to be big foots out there, but, you know, you can't just go around making stuff up because a rock, you know, has a few weird perforations and indentations. without any science behind it, you'd decide that it's a fossilized Bigfoot skull. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering

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so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. All right, Bubba. Wait, what? Oh, hold on. Hold on. Okay. Oh, this is exciting. Mr. May's on the phone?

Okay, Rogers wave. He's holding up a sign in the booth. He's telling me that Todd May, the guy that found the Bigfoot skull, is on the phone. So now, why don't we actually ask them? This is great. Okay, put them through. Uh, hello, Mr. May.

Are you there, sir? Hello, how are you, how are you? How are you? Uh, great, sir. Boy, thanks for being on the phone at such short notice. Oh, that's okay. I mean, it's Alita Cadill. I've been getting all this crazy press all over.

You know, this isn't just like, you know, the United States. It's been going all over the whole world. Oh, wow. So this story is really getting a lot of traction. Well, people are fascinated with Bigfoot. You know, they, you know, it's just non-American phenomenon, Mr. William. There are people all over the world. Well, you tuned in to Bigfoot.

Mr. Everybody wants to clear up. And so when I found Big Phus head in the forest where people, you know, it really got, got out there really fast, like. Yeah, it did. And, you know, listen, I don't want to cast aspersion, sir, or ridicule you, but I got to be honest. I'm finding the whole Bigfoot thing. finding his fossilized out a little hard to swallow.

Well, you're not the first one, Mr. William, me and everybody, you know, I could roll their eyes when I ever mentioned a Bigfoot. But, you know, it's okay. It's okay. You can believe what you want to believe. But, you know, I just carry on and do what I do. Now, you, it said in the article that you have seen a Bigfoot on multiple occasions and... Oh, yeah.

I'm saying, you know, probably almost a dozen times, I'd say. You know, maybe a baker's dozen. Wow, that's a lot, sir. You know, this is where it gets a little shaky. You know, most people would never see something like that in their whole lives, and yet you... Well, now, Mr. Williams, you know, sometimes in order to see something, you've got to be out looking for, you know what I'm saying?

And so my interaction with big for it, just keep... You know, you get escalated more and more contact I get, the more I get to see them. And I think that the creatures act that comfortable with me, and that's why I see him more and more. He's getting used to me. He's familiar with me, Mr. Williams. Well, okay. How familiar? Well, for example, you know, he's here with me right now.

Excuse me, sir? Yeah, he's in with me right now. I got the hot tub set up in the back yard. We got some hot dogs on the barbecue over there. And we're just relaxing. You know, when I first came into contact with the Bigfoot, I like to go to the hot springs out in the forest. And that's just like a big natural hot tub.

Wait a minute. You're telling me. He's sitting here right in the hot tub with me right now. We're just relaxing, kicking back, listening to some country music. And, you know, kind of a quiet fellow. But, you know, he really, he really, I think we're really. really to, you know, pulled him out, got him out of his cocoon, so to speak, as my friend Marybeth, who come out in the woods and play the flute with me.

Yeah, what was that all about? You had a friend playing the flute? Well, you know, I mean, got to relax. Well, he's soaked in the hot spring, Mr. Williams, and, yeah, I think this sour-scratch, a big foot would a yet, whatever he want to call him. He, you know, he took a shine into that. You know, they say music going, go on. call him the Savage Beast, and he was just drawn to the flute music.

Wait a minute, sir, are you telling me you're sitting in a hot tub with the legendary Sasquatch? Yeah, we're listening to the flute music. In fact, the Sasquatch liked the flute so much. He started whistling. I taught him out of whistle. It's kind of like playing the flupor with your lips. What?

Well, you want to hear them? Hear them what? Well, you want to hear him whistle. Are you asking me if I want to hear Bigfoot whistle while he's in your hot tub with you? That's what I said. You know what? Actually, I think we do want to hear this because I don't believe it for one second. Okay, give me one second.

Hang on. Hey, Larry, come here. Come on whistle for the man on the radio here. Larry? Who's Larry, sir? Oh, excuse me, that's what I call him Larry. I mean, you know, I can't call him Bigfoot, so I just call him Larry. You call Bigfoot Larry.

That's right. Yeah, let's hear Larry whistle, sir. Okay, here he is. Here. Take the phone, Larry. Hello? Who is this? What the hell? Who the hell is whistling there? Hang on there.

Did you hear that, Mr. Willard? That was Larry. Just a fine whistler. What? That was Larry, the Bigfoot, whistling in your hot tub. He really got it good. You want to hear him to... Hey, Larry, do Camp Town races

as one of those songs that I taught you to whistle. Yeah, okay. Hang on, Mr. Williams. Hold on a second. What are you doing? Hold on, that's not Larry, that's you. Stop whistling, sir. Oh my God.

Did you hit that big finish day? Billy Hyde dragged out that last note there. Are you kidding me? Well, Seth, you don't want to hear Larry Whistle. Stop calling him Larry. He's a big fan. Why am I even talking about this? What that?

So you're hot tubbing with Larry. Right. And then after we hot tub, we're going to watch Forrest Gump. Larry really liked that movie. That's your favorite movie. And we're going to throw it on and watch it, Mr. Williams. Hold on. You're in the hot tub with Larry the Bigfoot, whistling nonetheless,

and you're going to dry off and go watch Forrest Gump. Well, it's just, you know, it's what he likes to do. He's not used to being out of the Forrest, and so I'm slowly trying to, you know, acclimate him to, you know, to the type of things that we do here in the community, and he just loves Forrest Gump. You want to hear him do some of the lines, Mr. Williams? No, I don't.

He's really good. Okay, you know what? Yes, I do. All right, you remember that line where Forrest Gump goes, Life is just a box of chocolate, and then he said you never know what you're going to get. So what I do is. I do the first part, Life is like a box of chocolate,

and then Larry, I throw to Larry, and he fill in the rest. Oh, go ahead. Okay, Larry, you ready? Here we go now. Life is like a box of chocolate. Okay, you go, Larry. What the fuck? What the fuck?

What do you think of that? Mr. Williams. Are you jerking my chain here? Well, let's try another line. Now, let's see. What else? How about Lieutenant Dan is out on the boat, and Forrest Gump says, how would you like to be my captain, Lieutenant Dan?

And I'll let Larry do that whole line by himself. Yeah, why don't you let Larry do that? whole line by himself. Yeah, go ahead, Larry. Real good. All right. You know what? I don't think anybody's buying this, sir, that you're sitting there with, first you just say you find the fossilized skull of Bigfoot, and now you're in the hot tub, and you're...

We're going to get the hot dogs going on a barbecue, and we're going to go watch Boas Gump. And you want to do some more whistling, Larry? You want to do a song for Mr. Williams? How about that one we practiced yesterday, the Copa Cabana? Let's do that one. Yeah, come on, Larry. All right, enough. Don't want to hear any more whistling Bigfoot, okay?

I don't know what he said. He just said, am I allowed to use colorful language on your show, sir? If you need to, I guess. Mr. Bigfoot, Larry just said, why don't you go shove a canoe up your ass sideways, you motherfucker? And that's his words, not mine. Okay, you know what? I'm going to go now.

Okay, what was that? He just said he wants to put, he wants to step on the side of your head and pissing your ear. Okay, get him out. Before you go, Mr. Wood, would you like to hear Larry does some wonderful R2D2 noises? A real Star Wars fan. No, we don't want to hear R2D2 from Larry. the big foot go you go ahead larry no hang up he said fuck you motherfucker god you know we should have known before we started what an idiot why am i such an idiot that I fall for these stupid stories

Is he gone? Good riddns. God. You know what I'm going to do? Whenever I get this talk to some of these nutbag, by the way, thanks, Roger. That guy was about as nutty as a bag of coconut meat. Whenever I get, you know, upset because the people that seem to call my show are a little off, I take one of your phone calls because you guys phone me and you leave me messages.

and I listen to them and it gets me back to center. It gets me back focused. It reminds me that there's normal people in the world and you guys just bring me back to where I need to be to get my head together. So let's play a phone call from one of you guys to counteract the madness of what we just heard

and I want to thank you guys for phoning in and keeping me centered and balanced and all that. that stuff. Rodge, play a phone call from a pavement pounder. Hello? Hello. Hey, Ireland. What's going on? We wrote a song tonight, and we want to sing it for you here. It's like, all right, you want a bitch? There's an amp for that. You got a dick? Well,

there's an ass for that. You want to drink? Well, there's a tap for that. You want some cheese. You got a, oh, fuck. You got a ass for that. All right, that was a whole. Can we try it again? Let's try it again. All right. One, two, three. What a bitch. There's an app for that.

You got a dick. There's an ass for that. You want a drink? There's a tap for that. You want some jizz. You got a ass for that. That's not going. Thanks, buddy.

Okay. Long. Long, long. Silent beat right there. Roger, I'm going to ask you again Can you play A message from one of the pavement pounders That brings me back in

Keeps me grounded Please Hello Hello Hello, Charlie Wow Hey Ireland What's going on?

Good Lord in heaven Oh fuck Can we try it again Hello Oh, Charlie! That's not going to space, buddy. Okay, I guess I'm back to center. I'm...

I do love your phone calls. Please keep them coming. 323-739, 43330. 3-2-3-739-43 sing. Make comments. Whatever you want. It's all so much fun hearing from you guys Hello Charlie

Hello Charlie The Harland Highway Question of the day Okay here it is See how I transitioned out of that phone call Madness so quickly You have to be clever When you get into a problem spot

You have to figure a way out And the question of the day Definitely help me out Here's the question of the day. It has to do with your driving skills. Are you a yellow lighter? That's my question of the day. Are you a yellow lighter?

Or the B question would be, why do people go through yellow lights like way beyond when they should? I'll never forget. A buddy of mine up in Canada used to do a comedy bit about how, you know, he would talk about driving. and how he'd see the light turn yellow.

And he'd be like, oh, man, I can make this. I can make this. And he'd gun it. And he'd push on through the intersection. He'd push through the yellow traffic light. And, you know, it's one of those things where the light actually turns red when you're halfway through the intersection. And he would do a joke about how he just made it through on the yellow light. And he's thinking, what a daredevil, what an asshole he is.

And then he'd look in his rearview mirror. and see another guy like, you know, 40 feet behind him, come through the yellow light. And he's like, what the hell? It was like, holy smokes. I went through that yellow light. I was pushing it. I had no business going through that yellow light. It was pretty much a red light.

And here comes another guy behind me. And so my question, you know, every time I do that, I think of my buddy's joke. And I heard the joke. The joke's like 25 years ago I heard this joke. And it's always stayed in my head because it's so true, you know, it happens to me a lot. I'm kind of a driver that believes in the yellow light. If it's still yellow, you can go through. If you got some speed, it's probably safer to go through than it is to slam on the brakes

because the person behind you might, you know, rear-end you. But I tell you, man, I've had a lot of instances where I just barely got through a yellow light and I'm like, I probably shouldn't have done that. And then I look at my rearview mirror, and not only does the guy behind me come through the yellow light, but he's like 20 feet behind me. Like he's not right on my butt.

And I'm like, holy crap. And what's really freaky is when you go through the yellow light and there's someone coming the opposite way who wants to turn left. And they're in the left turn lane. And they're kind of watching you, break through the yellow light and they're like, okay, you know, I'm supposed to take my left turn on the yellow light and you just hogged my yellow light so you could go straight through

and now I'm taking my left turn pretty much through a red and I'm thinking they must think I'm a dick, but then what do they do when another guy's behind me? It's pretty amazing. the yellow light and people's kind of thrill-seeker attitude to get through it. And you wonder how many accidents. I don't think I've ever seen a yellow light accident put it. It makes me wonder why there aren't more. Maybe there are more and they're just not talked about.

But I guess my question of the day is, are you a yellow lighter? Do you travel through the yellow light? Do you go into the yellow light? Go into the yellow light. Go into the yellow light, Ruthanne. Go into the yellow light, my child. I mean, wow. Maybe there should be another light.

There should be like green, yellow. And then if you push the yellow and you're like an idiot about it, maybe you should get a quick like purple light that we look. Learn in traffic school means you're a fucking idiot. So it's like red means stop, yellow means maybe, kind of sort of, purple means, oh, you're a fucking idiot, man. And green means go. So stop, maybe, oh, you're a fucking idiot man, and go.

So there you go. question of the day, why do people go through yellow light slash, are you a yellow lighter? The Harland Highway, question of the day. And I think we'll leave the show right there for you to ponder, to soul search and examine to find out exactly what you are, who you are, what's deep inside you, yellow lighters. Oh, your yellow lighters, I know you are. Go into the yellow light, my child. And by the way, for those of you that do want to leave phone messages, as I told you, I love to get them. It's so fun to hear from you guys.

Whether you're singing or making a comment or your name is Charlie, whatever it is. 323739, 43330, 323.3.3.739-43-433 is the telephound number. Love to hear from you guys. and if you don't want to leave a phone message, you can always write me at harloughwilliams.com on our contact page. And just so, you know, when you do call, it rings about five or six times before it picks up, but it will pick up.

Don't be like, man, this thing just keeps ringing. I'm hanging up. There's no one answering. It will pick up. Believe me, trust me. So call 3, 23, 7, 3,9, 433. 30 and say whatever you want if there's something you want to hear on the show if you have an idea if you have something you don't like whatever you want it's your chance to speak up

as a pavement pounder on the harland highway um let's see what else yeah well you're at harlan williams.com please check in on our store we have some great fun merchandise for you to enjoy we will ship it out to you t-shirts music artwork CDs movies movies DVDs, digital downloads, so much fun stuff. Also, while you're there, please check out the app section. Go on your cell phone and you can get the Harlan Highway app for your phone. And it's totally free to download it. Just type in the Harlan Highway on your phone app store.

And then if you want to, you can become a premium member for $20 a year. You get all kinds of amazing premium content, special interviews. You get all kinds of live stand-up comedy recordings that I do when I'm traveling around the country doing stand-up. You also get my other podcast called Let's Have a Fight where we have verbal fights with other comedians and funny people and actors and really cool stuff. And what else? What else? What else? All kinds of stuff. So 20 bucks a year. Oh, and you get our whole backlog library of almost 800 episodes of the Harland Highway. So it's a great deal for 20 bucks a year. You can't go wrong. Please tell your friends about the Harland Highway. And let's get everyone in on the fun and the frivolity, if that's even a word. Frivolity. If it's not, I just made it a word officially. I don't know what it means. So whenever you have a lapse in your vocabulary, just say frivolity and somehow it'll work. Although I think it is a word.

Anyhow, that's it for today. Thank you all for being here. Great to hear from you guys. Great to have you along for the ride down the Harlan Highway. And we'll see you soon. I hope your summer's kicking off great. I think barbecue eddy is going to be showing up soon now that summer's kicking into gear. until next time everybody

chicken chow main charlie hello charlie See!