The Harland Highway - 782 - CRAZY news story!! Harland gets PISSED OFF! RIOT messes!

Episode Date: July 11, 2016

A CRAZY news story involving beef. Harland is pissed off about the changing times. Violence at political rallies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, hello, hello, hello. Hey, gang, we're running a little bit behind today. A thousand apologies, but we are here. We're up and running. And yeah, it's going to be a fun show. I got an interesting call from one of the pavement pounders asking me about the riots that are happening and breaking out at some of these political events. And they're getting violent and dangerous. And I thought, you know, I'd kind of. comment on them and answer, I think it's an important question. Also, today I get very pissed off. Oh, we're doing the Harland. Harland gets pissed off segment today. There is a movement going on out there that is really getting under my skin, and I think it affects all of us, and I think it's disrupting some really deep traditions

and beloved iconic cultural characters in the entertainment world, So I'm going to be pissed off about that. And then, holy smokes, we have a crazy news story. I don't know if any of you have ever been in a violent struggle over a pot roast. But wait, you hear this crazy freaking news story, man. It's so ridiculous. It made me laugh my ass off. So all that and more today on the Harland Highway.

Thank you for being here. And let's do it. This is the Harland Highway. What am I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What you're talking about words? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck.

Oh, God, what's happening here? What's happening? Hey, Harlan, it's Shelley. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. Yeah.

That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway. What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man.

You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Okay, everybody, I have to apologize. This podcast came in a few hours late. I had a crazy, busy weekend, and, you know, sometimes players got to play. So some of you might be pissed off And that's a good place to be right now That's a very that's the perfect energy I want from you

Right in this moment I want you pissed off Because guess what I'm pissed off about something And we're gonna start the show All of us together being pissed off But here's what I'm pissed off about Don't piss me off This is Harland Williams

You're really pissing me off Oh you're starting to piss me off You little pigless son, bitch. You pissed me off. Shut up, you're pissing me off. These fucking assholes, this fuck... These fucking assholes, the fuck is their problem, man. Oh, I'll tell you, I'll tell you my problem.

I'll tell you my problem. Here's my problem. It's the emasculation of men in, I don't know, America, in the world, wherever. And I'm pissed off because I'm hearing and I'm reading about things that just get me angry. And it has to do with the emasculation of men. And here it is. I don't know how many of you follow the Marvel universe, the comic books, the superhero movies. But apparently Thor, you know, the god of thunder, the big brawny guy with the long golden locks and the hammer and the muscles twice the size of our heads.

Well, guess what? Apparently Thor is now going to be a girl. Thor is going to be a woman. The superhero that we've grown up with our whole lives, Thor who's a man with the hair of a girl, I might add, delicious Farah Fawcett hair, is now being made into a woman. Why? What is the point? Why?

Are there not enough women characters? Are there not enough women superheroes? So let's take away a beloved male action figure that hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people grew up on and enjoyed a certain way. And let's make him into a woman. But then it doesn't stop there. Why don't we skip forward to one of the most successful franchise superhero men in the last, like, 12 years, Iron Man. How about Iron Man? Tony Stark, Iron Man.

Guess what? Tony Stark's not going to be Iron Man anymore. You know who's going to be Iron Man? Yeah. Have you figured it out? Here it is. a 14-year-old black girl, okay? So not only is it a woman,

but now they've got to mess with the race of things. Now, just for the record, I love women. I love all races. I don't care. But when you start taking traditional, iconic superheroes, or heroines, or heroic figures, or political people or whoever, and you start totally dissolving them and dissecting them and ripping them apart and rebuilding them as something else, I get a little mad. Okay? I get a little mad. You

know what? There's a superhero called the Black Panther. You know what? I want him to be black because that's how they created him. That's who he is. I want the Black Panther to be black. I want the Black Panther to be black. Forever and ever and ever. I don't want the Black Panther to be a freckly-faced white guy. I really don't. I enjoy it that he's the Black Panther. I enjoy that they created him as the Black Panther as a black man. There's another Marvel superhero, Luke Cage Power Man.

He was created as a black man, a powerful, strong black man. I don't want a pasty white Danish guy being. Luke Cage Power Man And I don't want Iron Man Who I grew up with Being a black man A black woman A black baby

A black grandmother Can't you just leave him as he is And I can't even say leave him as he is I gotta say leave her as he is And my point is Like I said I got nothing against anyone I got nothing against women I got nothing about any racist black white Asian Indian

I don't care. But when something is very established and something is locked in and something is good and it works and you create a fan base for things, it's one thing to give them a mustache or maybe a new hairdo or a new outfit, but to completely change what they are gender-wise, race-wise. It's just pissing me off, man. And it's always the men characters. Why doesn't Wonder Woman become Wonder Man?

Why don't we do that? Oh, God forbid, they change Wonder Woman into a man. Why don't we make Wonder Woman a Taiwanese man? How about that? A Taiwanese man is Wonder Woman. And you know what? I'm afraid to even say it out loud because they'll probably do it. They go, well, that's good.

We can't do it as a man, but what if Wonder Woman went through a train? transgender, sex change, and she was Wonder Woman Man. And then that way we're covering everyone and we're making everyone happy and there's no one gets offended and we're being so politically correct. Well, guess what? You're so busy not trying to offend anyone that you're offending everyone, you dipshits. I mean, what's next? Jesus?

Should we take Jesus down up off the cross and put them back up as a woman? You know, the Son of God, Jesus Christ, has been a man long enough. I think maybe it's time. I think it's time with me and the Pope and some of the Cardinals at the Archdiocese have been chatting. We've been throwing around some creative ideas. We've been jamming in the boardroom. And we think it's time that Jesus Christ, are you ready? Jesus Christ is a small Japanese woman.

Yeah. We thought it would be, you know, it's time. This white guy stuff isn't really working, and just the guy stuff, you know? I mean, who says Jesus wasn't a woman? Who says the son of God wasn't the daughter of God? So, yeah, a little Japanese woman, Jesus Christ. I mean, you know what I mean? Like, is Superman going to be Superwoman in the next five years? Is Spider-Man going to be, you know, an Eskimo who can climb walls and where's a dress?

I mean, I don't ever want Superman to change. I don't want Batman to change. I don't want Wonder Woman to change. change. Some things just are, ladies and gentlemen, and their institutions. And sometimes you just let them be. If you need a god of thunder, okay, if you need a god of thunder woman, create a new character. Have you ever heard of Wonder Woman? I mean, Supergirl? Superwoman? Have you ever heard of, you know, the Incredible Hulk? You know, they did a comic called She Hulk. you know what i'm saying you can you can change so you can start new things you don't have to

take what's already there and ruin it in my opinion some of you might be loving it's like oh my god i can't believe that iron man's going to be a 14 year old black girl oh i've been waiting for this for so long well you know what screw you know that's the other problem i have i'm sorry you may you may you may think this is sexist, but women are physically not as strong as men. And I don't know about you people listening, but when I go to a movie and I see the men getting their ass kicked, okay, Scarlett Johansson in the Avengers movies, by the way, the only one in the lot that doesn't have a superpower,

Scarlett Johansson plays the Black Widow. Her skill is that she can jump around and do roundhouse kicks and karate moves and judo chops. She has no gamma ray. She has no special suit. She can't fly. She can't punch down buildings. Meanwhile, Thor is the god of thunder.

Iron Man has a suit that makes them invincible. The Incredible Hulk is indestructible. And yet, when you watch those movies, there's scenes where they're getting their asses kicked by 70-foot robots. And Scarlett Johansson does a martial arts roll into the scene and, you know, does a roundhouse kick on a 90-foot robot that somehow a god, Thor, wasn't able to handle. So my point is, I just don't buy that your average female can kick ass as good as a man. I'm sorry

It's just it's not even I'm not even apologizing It's scientific fact Even girls that are built up Are not as strong as a man that was built up Oh it's so frustrating And so I don't want to sit through a movie I'm watching a girl kick ass and not believing it

You know there's just some things girls do better than guys and there's something guys are better at than girls. And it seems like Hollywood is hell-bent on taking it all away from the men, pusifying them, making them seem weak and incapable, and idiots. And the women are the be-all and end-all of everything. And God knows I love women, I respect women, I love women characters. but stop taking away the guy characters that I love and turning them into women

and into other races and other creatures, okay? Man, pissing me off, I'll tell you that much. Can you tell I'm pissed off? Leave it be, damn it. I'm getting so mad here. I think I feel my ovary's starting to turn. I'm turning into a woman.

Look at my skin, I think I'm turning, I think I'm turning into a Chinese woman. I'm going to kick some ass. Probably before I kick some ass, I'll get a call from Hollywood to say, wait a minute, you're turning into a Chinese woman. We want to put you into a movie. Wait a minute. How would you like to be the next Batman? We're looking for a Chinese woman. I'd be like, go F yourself.

Because I'm pissed off. Boom. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. You're busting my heart. Heavens to Murgatroyd. The Harland Highway.

Crazy news story. That's weird. That's strange stuff. Okay. Crazy news story. You got to read this crazy news story because you just got to. Here's the headline. You ready?

Man stabbed during pot roast fracking. roast fracas. When do you hear that ever? Man stabbed during pot roast fracas. Indiana police say a Muncie man stabbed his brother with a fork during a disagreement turned brawl over ownership of a pot roast. What the hey-who? Rodney Stephen Gilman, 49 was arrested late Monday after he attacked his sibling with a three-pronged salad fork, a police report said. Oh, man, isn't that what OJ used? I mean, you know you know the fight is on. You know the violence is coming.

When someone comes up on you with a salad fork, the 35-year-old victim was treated at the hospital for a puncture wound to his left forearm and headcuts, according to the affidavit. Wow, puncture wounds. I mean, yeah, I hate to tell you, but, you know, those salad forks are pretty blunt. I mean, they're not very pointy. They're for basically not even stabbing.

They're for lifting. They're for lifting lettuce out of a bowl. They're usually, like, really thick and stubby, and you couldn't stab something if you tried. How did this guy get away with it? Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes? Yes, the answer is yes.

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Rodney told authorities he was cooking a pot roast with potato. about 11.20 p.m. because, you know, when it's almost midnight, that's when you want to start a pot roast and a full course Sunday dinner. Who doesn't? You know, you want to be watching the late, late, late movie with a big fat pot roast and some potatoes going. So he's cooking a pot roast around 1120 p.m., which is very suspicious when his brother, who lives in the same east side home, began to insist that the meat belonged to him. Why wasn't anyone in bed is what I want to know? During an ensuing struggle, Rodney said his brother tackled him

and he armed himself with the salad fork. Just like a brother to bring a salad fork to a brother fight. Good God. The stabbing victim went to a friend's house, the report said, and they were en route to the hospital when they were on route to the hospital when their vehicle was pulled over by police, the victim was then taken to the hospital by ambulance. Officers said they found large amounts of blood in the home

and on the clothing of Rodney Gillum, who had called 911 dispatchers to report his brother was taking advantage of him. Gilman is being held on bail for $20,000 bond and charged with aggravated battery. His criminal record appears to be limited to drunken driving in 2004 and charge of illegal possession of a wild animal. Uh, jeez.

This is nuts. So there you go, folks. You might want to lock the salad tongs up in the gun drawer. You might want to, uh, You might want to make sure you know at all times where the salad tongs are. In case all of a sudden you find yourself, you know, you've heard of road rage. What if all of a sudden you got a horrible bout of pot roast rage? Somehow you're inflamed over your meat and your pot roast temper goes through the roof.

And you start swinging that damn freaking dirty. freaking salad tongue fork so there you go be careful careful around the tongs and just one more

crazy news story yikes hello hello hey how this is Bryce from Minnesota Rochester um hey I'm just calling to tell you I like the

podcast, and I look forward to it every time that pops up on the phone. But I was wondering if you take attention to any of the riots that were anti-Trump riots that were going on. And I think California, and people are attacking Trump supporters, and it was getting pretty violent. There was lots of blood. You know, it was just pretty disgusting. I just wanted to hear your opinion on that because, you know, if those people are, I don't know if it's racism or if those people are, you know, Hillary Clinton supporters or, you know, the opposite or Bernie Sanders, it just, there's a lot of hate behind it, and I, you know, it wasn't cool.

But I just love to hear your thoughts on it if you get to it. so to the next upcoming podcast or whatever. Yeah, just keep doing it. You're one of my favorite podcasts to listen to, and I've taken over the toola spot and the Rogan spot. So part of them Williams is the podcast. I enjoy the most right now. So anyway, thanks a lot.

Well, Bryce or Bruce, I couldn't. Your message was a little bit. bit garbled. I think you said your name was Bryce. Could be Bruce. But hey, thanks for the call, man. I'm so glad you enjoy the podcast. And I'm honored that you put me up there with some of the other top podcasters out there. That's quite flattering. Thank you so very much. And, you know, let's get to your question about the riots that have been happening on and off for the last, you know, last number. of months here across the United States. And my answer is quick and easy.

I'm appalled. I'm appalled that Trump supporters are getting bashed and having eggs thrown at them and chased down the street and cold-cocked and blindsided and punched in the head. And just as I was appalled when at inside a Trump rally, a gentleman was punched in the face by a Trump supporter. uh but i have to say the the balance has shifted whereas there were a couple of instances where there was some aggression with trump supporters it pales in comparison to the very very uh aggressive behavior of the of the anti-trump supporters i mean this this is these are like lynch mobs man with with the trump crowd you had a few rogue people like

getting physical. And by the way, as far as I can tell, there's only a few instances. And I didn't like it. It shouldn't happen. But when you look at these Trump rallies, man, there are mobs. There are violent mobs waiting outside of buildings with the agenda to do harm and intimidate and scare and frighten and hurt people who are exercising their right to be free and choose who they want. And I'll tell you what, man, it is horrific to watch to see people bleeding, walking down the street, bleeding, to see people having eggs thrown in their face and nobody doing anything, just, you know, throwing shit at women.

And not that it's okay to throw stuff at men, but when you do it to a woman, it's even worse. And it's just appalling, you know, this is the type of stuff where if you turned on the news, and saw this happening in another country in China or Taiwan or Russia, you'd be like, oh, my God, these people are barbarians. What is that a communist country? They're not allowed to vote who for they want to in those countries, and Russia and China and North Korea. How antiquated are these people?

How barbaric are these people? I guess that's the byproduct of a con. communist environment or an environment with a lack of democracy and to see that happening in the United States of America it makes my stomach

turn man and I think it's horrible and look at I've made no secret that I'm a Trump guy. I like Donald Trump and I actually hate Hillary Clinton. I loathe Hillary and you know

I just don't agree with who she is or what she has to say. I don't think she's a good person. But I would never want someone to harm anyone at a Hillary event. I would not want anyone to throw eggs. I would not want anyone to chase or punch or even shout down someone at a Hillary event. If someone wants to vote for Hillary Clinton, they should fucking be allowed to vote for Hillary Clinton in peace and quiet and in a democratic way.

And the same goes for the Trump. supporters. This is America, right? The last time I looked, isn't that what the whole system was built on? Shouldn't we be allowed to vote for who we want? And if you don't like it, then don't like it, but you don't have the right to try and change someone's mind and shout them down and intimidate them and throw things.

And, you know, it's just, it's really horrific, man. It's very, very sad. Because people and the media and certain parts of society are not letting the system play out the way it should for free people with free thought and free freedom of choice. And I'm finding the climate for people who just do not like Trump is a little alarming. I'm finding that on the on the on the on the Hillary side or the Bernie side or the the green party side any anybody who's Trump I'm finding that the rhetoric is is very aggressive and demeaning now I don't know if everyone's like me but if someone tells me they like Hillary Clinton or they like Bernie Sanders I go okay great that's your choice that's that's not who I would pick but good for you I guess you have your reasons But I'm going to tell you, I've had people, just the other day, I was out with a friend who I've known for 20 years. And we were walking. And somehow the election came up.

And she made a comment about Hillary. And I said, oh, I don't like Hillary. And she stopped. She stopped walking. She said, she said, Harland. Do you like Donald Trump? And I said, yeah, I do. And the look that came across her face, the body language, the disgust and the disdain that kind of emoted from her was rather upsetting to me.

And I'm like, what the hell is going on here, man? and then I was out with another very close friend who I've known for 20 years and I'm not saying anybody's name but politics came up and this person knew that I like Trump but this person started saying

right in front of me as if I almost wasn't there saying you know anyone who likes Trump and these are his words is a fucking asshole and a racist And I kept my cool, I just, you know, I just, first of all, I couldn't believe that this guy thought that in general, that you can label everyone. And I'm sitting there in my head thinking, okay, here's a buddy of mine I've known for 30 years, and I just found out newsflash that he thinks I'm a fucking idiot, and B, I'm a racist. And inside I'm just like, I'm like, it's like, whoa, holy shit, man.

And I realize this guy's so impassioned and so on the side of his politician that he's not taking into account the feelings of the people around him, including one of his old buddies. And I think that's what's happening out there. And that's, you know, that's why these riots shouldn't happen. Because when you lash out at someone, when you call people names, when you degrade them, when you call them racist and fucking idiots, and you give them the glaring look of death because you don't support who they support, then suddenly you're living in a combative world that doesn't smack of peace, happiness, and the American way. It becomes as out-of-wax society where one side of society is trying to force their point of view onto the other side. And if you don't agree with it or you don't accept it, suddenly you're some kind of race hater and you're mentally challenged and you deserve to have eggs and rocks and sucker punches thrown at you and yada, yada, yada. So I'll close with this. Thank you for your question.

But on either side, whoever you love or hate as a politician, calm the fuck down. This is about making a decision in your head, hopefully a smart, educated decision, walking into a voting booth, pulling a lever, and voting for the person that you believe

deserves the job, can do the best job, that you agree with. And that's politics, man. That's the yin and the yang. That's the black and the white. That's the, that's the opposite and the negative.

And nobody on either side has the right to try and force their opinion down the throat of others and say that I'm right and you're wrong. Because nobody's right and wrong. Let the people decide that's how, it works gang so that was a cool question man thank you so much for asking um i'm always interested to hear your opinion if you guys want to chime in how you feel about the riots that have been happening you know and for those of you that are like oh you know whining and crying well

just imagine if your mother or father or brother and sister were a supporter of someone opposite from you. Let's say you liked Hillary and your grandfather like Trump or your sister like Trump and you found out that your sister, your grandfather went to a rally and had a rock thrown at his fucking head.

Or had eggs thrown at him or someone walked up from behind him and punched him in the head or, I mean it's easy to be okay with it when it's someone you don't know. But just remember, everyone out there is somebody's son and daughter and grandfather

and so nobody deserves that, man. There. Now I'm going to go punch myself on the face and relax. But if you want to call me, you can 323-739-433-30, 3-2-3-739-433. Or you can write me at harlomwilms.com. We do have a contact link on the page. Love hearing from you guys. You can comment on this topic if you want or any other.

topic you have in your head. Also, where you're at the website, harlot Williams.com, check out our store. We have all kinds of great fun merchandise. And please jump on the app for your phone, the Harlan Highway app. Just go to your app store and your cell phone and type in the Harlan Highway. And once there, you can become a premium member for $20 a year. You get all kinds of extra bonus content that people are loving. Live stand up. My other podcast called Let's Have a fight, special interviews, all kinds of cool stuff. And I hope you'll join up and help support $20 for the whole freaking year, man. So there you go.

There you go, you freaks. I hope you're having a great summer. Thanks for taking some time out to spend it here at the Harland Highway. I hope we're putting a smile on your face and maybe a few thoughts into your head. And that's it for today, gang. and keep it real in the deal. And until next time, just love each other. We all get to make our own choices in life.

Just love and accept the way you want to be love and accepted, right? Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Until next time, a big spiritual bowl of chicken. Chau me, baby! Thank you.