The Harland Highway - 783 - SAMUEL E. QUOKE romantic letter. Good deeds gone bad. Too much killing!
Episode Date: July 14, 2016Samuel E. Quoke drops by to read one of his romance letters. What to do about all the killing in America. When good deeds go bad. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See om...nystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Okay, okay, okay, okay,
Corral.
Hey, pavement pounders, this is Harlem Williams.
You are on the Harland Highway podcast.
Hey, thanks for being here.
What a show we have today,
kind of a roller coaster ride of a show.
Samuel E. Quout will be here.
He's an author.
He's a writer.
He's a romantic poet.
And every summer he drops by
and he reads us his romantic tales.
of yesteryear and quite eloquent, but also I always find him quite grizzly.
So he'll be here later on.
Also, the question of the day, it has something to do with being a good person, trying to do
the right thing, and it comes back and stings you.
Comes back and bites you in the ass like a scorpion, baby.
So we got that going, and then towards the end of the show, it gets a little heavy.
I kind of go off on a rant about all the shootings and the death
and the way, you know, our politicians and law enforcement handle it.
I'm kind of pissed that they seem to come in after the fact
and do all this investigative work
and, you know, pride themselves on figuring out the way this all happened.
And I'm standing here going, well, why don't we work twice as hard to make it not happen?
So let's have a listen.
This is the Harland Highway
Where are I?
What is this? Some kind of a joke or something?
Welcome to the Harland Highway.
What you're talking about, William?
Son, you got a panty on your head.
Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck.
Oh, God, what's happening here?
What's happened?
Hey, Harlan, it shall leave.
You just made a wrong turn.
On to the Harland Highway.
We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing.
Not because they are easy, but because they are hot.
That is fantastic.
That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place.
The Harland Highway.
What is it?
The opening.
To what?
To another dimension.
This is Harland Williams.
You're a bad man.
You're a very bad man.
That is fantastic.
The Harland Highway.
Question of the day.
Oh, geez.
I, you know, I hate to start the show off this way.
I really do, but
this just broke my heart.
This just broke my little heart.
Oh, oh, if I only had a heart.
That's the tin man from Wizard of Oz.
You ever do a good deed
and it comes back and bite you in the ass?
It sounded like Jack Nicholson a little bit, did it?
You ever do a good deed and it comes back and bite you in the ass?
You in the ass.
Happened to me the other night.
Good Lord.
Here's what happened.
I got to share it with you.
It's kind of like, why me?
Why now?
What the hell?
I thought I was a good guy.
So I'm over playing racquetball.
You know, I play racquetball at night over at the gym.
And I go, man.
I go, go, go.
Like I, I'm dripping with sweat.
My clothes.
are soaking wet. I mean, I play for like an hour, an hour and a half, and it's just like,
but I love it. And I work up an appetite, and I work up a thirst, and so on the way home from my
gym, and this is how sad working out is in America, I pass a Wendy's, a Wendy's hot and juicy
hamburger stand restaurant. And very often I pull into the drive-thru, and I get a, you know, a cheeseburg,
and a ice cold Coke and a small chocolate frosty and I go home and I watch the news.
It's like 9, 10 o'clock at night.
And that's part of my little world.
I love it.
And so I do it the other night and there's a guy in front of me in a van.
Who drives a van through a drive-thru?
I live down by the river in a white van.
So right away I'm thinking this guy's trouble.
takes a freaking van through the drive-thru. It's just creepy. It's like the guy from
Silence of the Lambs. Oh, could I have a cheeseburger and some curly fries and, uh, oh, wait,
could you help me put this carpet in the back of my white van? You don't know what pain is.
Um, so the guy orders and he's kind of taking a little bit long and I'm thinking,
ah, so there's going to be trouble with this guy. So as sure enough, he pulls up, he gets
He's getting his food, and I'm behind him.
My window's open because I'm getting ready to pay.
And all of a sudden I can see he's getting into a conflict with the lady at the drive-thru window.
She's an older, like, looked like a Latino woman, nice face, probably in her, like, early 40s.
Probably one of these women, you know, taking an extra job to put some money on the table,
works the night shift at Wendy's, you know.
And this guy gets handed his food and there's a little pause.
I'm like, what's going on up there?
And then all of a sudden, he just lays in her, goes,
you know what, you got my order wrong again?
You know, I want to talk to the,
I want to talk to the general manager,
and, you know, this is the worst Wendy's
in the whole circuit,
and you guys mess things up every time,
and he's just letting her have it.
I don't know if he gave, I thought I heard something about,
he didn't want onions and cheese on his burger,
and I guess they put it on and blah, blah, blah.
So anyways, I was sitting back there going, man, this guy, is he overreacting or what?
Like, come on, you're talking to a Wendy's employee.
They probably don't make more than $9 an hour and, you know, lighten up, dude.
Like, they always get everything wrong and the worst place.
Every time he comes here, there's a mishandling and miscommunication about his order.
So I'm like, you know what, for every reaction, there's an opposite and equal reaction.
So I pull up, and this lady, she's kind of, now she's not looking very happy.
She looks kind of, you know, withdrawn and kind of not smiling.
And so she hands me all my food, and I look at her, and I go, I go, hey, you know what?
Thanks so much.
You guys get the orders right every time.
And I'll tell you what, she lit up like a Christmas tree.
That's the smile on her face, the look of appreciation, the happiness.
And she knew.
She knew that I was, you know, it was the exact words that the guy ahead of me had used,
but I reversed them, made them positive.
And, you know, I was really kind of neutral.
I haven't ever really had a problem at that Wendy's,
but for all I know, maybe that guy had.
had. But at the very least, I thought, you know, I'm going to try and do something to put a
smile on this woman's face and erase the negativity and vanquish the negative feelings that were
in the air and in her head. And it worked. I mean, she was just so appreciative of the smile
on her face and the acknowledgement that she was doing a good job. And I felt great. I was
smiling. I gave her the big thumbs up as I was pulling away with my
with my cheeseburger and fries and Coke.
All was right in the world,
and I drove away feeling so positive.
And in my head, I'm thinking that's all it takes.
It's all just words.
You can be negative or you can be positive.
You can be angry.
You can be pleasant.
And so I took away all that crap that, you know, hit her
and made her feel good again.
So I'm in my car.
I drive home.
I'm feeling good.
I'm eating my frosty in the car
You know
You're one-handed it
You know
They don't have you you can't really use the spoon
So I just like stick my tongue in the frosty
And lick it like a deer drinking out of a river
And then
When my tongue is run out of length
I can't get to the bottom half of my frosty
So I squeeze the paper cup
And I squeeze the frosty into my mouth
as I'm driving with one hand.
So the Frosty's gone.
I'm hungry.
I've been playing racquetball.
I'm sweaty.
I'm looking forward to just sit down
with my ice cold Coke.
And my delicious hot and juicy Wendy's cheeseburger.
I sit down.
I unwrap it.
I look at it.
I look at my cheeseburger.
And I'm like,
This looks a little interesting.
Wait a minute.
I pull the top bun off.
I lift the bun.
And I go,
this cheeseburger looks a hell of a lot
like a spicy chicken breast
with bacon all over it.
And I'm like, wait a minute.
And sure is crap.
Sure is Saint's Sister of Cinnamon Toast.
I got that wrong goddamn.
I got a chicken fillet, deep fried with Swiss cheese, lettuce, and bacon that looks like it came
off the bottom of someone's shoe at a concentration camp.
It's just like the most horrible looking, crunched up, dry bacon I think I've ever seen.
It looked like psoriasis scabs on top of Swiss cheese, which, by the way, is delicious.
and I'm like, oh, no, no, this just isn't fair.
You can't mix up my order.
I'm the guy that said you get it right every time.
I'm the guy with the positive energy.
I'm the guy that took a negative and made it a positive,
and now I don't have my right order.
The guy and the white fan, the creepy white guy,
the guy from the silence of the lambs,
getting a cheeseburger in the drive-thru,
was right.
This place is the shit.
shits. This place does screw up the orders. All of a sudden, after working out and playing
racquetball and starving and my systems, you know, I've burned up all the energy of my body and
my systems crying out for sustenance, suddenly I'm confronted with the wrong order.
And I'm like, this does not look like a healthy chicken breast. This looks like a chicken breast
that, you know, maybe, I don't know if the chicken had breast cancer or what,
but it ain't looking ripe to me, man.
And the bacon, I don't know if the pig had, like, freaking blood cancer.
I don't know, but it didn't look right either.
Even the Swiss cheese looked like melted candle wax.
I didn't even know what it was at first.
So I'm like, how bad can it be?
I like their burgers.
Let me take a bite of the chicken bread.
And I'm the junk food king, by the way.
way. I love junk food.
So I'm thinking, all right. They didn't get my order
right, but this will suffice, I guess.
I bite into it. The junk food king
bites into it. I took
like two crunches in my teeth
and I spit it out.
And half of it was because I didn't like
the taste and half of it was because it wasn't
my damn cheeseburger.
So there I was.
The good deed guy,
the guy who
made the world right again, the guy who painted a positive rainbow right in the middle of
the Wendy's hot and juicy drive-thru, the guy who erased the scorn and the negativity of
the silence of the lambs guy in the white van, sitting there starving with the wrong
fucking order. So there you go. Does it ever happen to you?
Do you ever get burned for doing a good deed?
The Harland Highway, question of the day.
The Harland Highway, question of the day.
They are a world of angry, frightened people.
A wonderful time of life for you.
Don't let any of it go by without enjoying it.
Well, summertime is here, ladies and gentlemen.
And as we know, summertime is a time for romance.
It's for lovers.
lovers and romance and lovers and romance and I guess as we always do we we have this
well he calls himself a writer a poet his name is Samuel E. Quowke and I guess he's the
author of many romantic novels and poems and for whatever reason the gentleman
who runs the podcast.
My boss, Mr. Featherstone, upstairs on the 12th floor,
always wants me to bring this guy in.
He thinks it's good for ratings.
He thinks that the women like it, the men like it.
So I'm not, I'm going to be honest,
and he's sitting right here.
I'm not so much a fan of your writing.
Hello, Samuel E. Quoak.
Hello, sir.
How are you?
I'm good.
You know, I guess welcome
to the podcast.
Well, it didn't sound very welcoming now, did it?
Well, look, I'm just being honest
because I find that
your romantic writings often spiral
into these kind of shocking
and violent stories
that just, they don't seem all that romantic to me.
Romance is in the eye of the beholder,
thank you very much.
Okay, well, that's...
Did you bring something to you?
Yes, if you would mind stop jibba-jabbing and let me get to my romantic story.
Okay, you don't have to be rude, I'm just, you know, being honest with you.
Well then let me be honest and tell you to shut your gobsnobble.
Shut my gobsnobble.
That is correct, sir.
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Don't throw your back out.
Okay, here we go.
All right, but could you want,
did you have your thing?
I have it right here, sir.
I'm ready to read if you just shut your gobsnobble.
I don't have a gobsnob, Snobble.
Kwauk.
Well, whatever you have,
I wish you'd shut it and let me read.
Go ahead and read your romantic story.
And hopefully this time it's really romantic for once.
I'm sure it will be, sir.
Okay, go ahead.
Thank you very much.
My dear Samantha,
I'll never forget the summer we spent together
with the summer fair
We walked around the fairgrounds together
You had your wonderful long, flowing white dress
Your beautiful straw sun hat
A look of enchantment and childlike excitement filled your eyes
Your eyes darted around the fairground
Taking in all the noises and scents
And excited screams of older people partaking in the rides
and the festivities.
I'll never forget
when we mounted the Ferris wheel
and began twirling around
high into the sky.
You threw your head back and laughed
as the birds passed by
and the clouds floated high above us
like candy floss in the sky.
I'll never forget
it was on the fourth rotation
when the bolt came loose
from the Ferris wheel cart we were
sitting on and
the gears jammed down at the bottom in the control center of the ferris wheel and you flew out.
It was like a vast jerking motion and I hastily reached for you as you flew out of the ferris wheel cart and dropped a solid 80 feet right to the ground.
Everybody in their cart screaming as they saw your body hurtling towards the ground and then everyone taking a deep gasp of air as your body.
thudded into the grass far below your body
in a mound full of hair and flesh, your arms
and legs twisted like a piece of roadkill
on the, okay, okay, guy, here's what I'm talking about.
You set this beautiful thing up, you're in the Ferris wheel,
and all of a sudden, Samantha? That's right, Samantha.
Samantha flies out because the Ferris wheel jams,
If you don't mind, sir, I'd like to continue.
Well, I'm just making my point here, Samuel E. Quouk.
That already this thing's gone sideways.
Do you mind if I finish, sir?
Okay, fine, finish.
Sicko.
Thank you very much.
I'll never forget Samantha's.
My Ferris wheel cart finally made it down to the ground,
and by this time you had slowly stood up
and righted yourself, your spine crooked and your body have bent over. You walk like a scarecrow that
had mated with a penguin from the Galapagos Islands. I remember you stumbled blindly around,
your hair in your face, your arms reaching out to try and hold on to something, anything, and you
accidentally walked into the path of the tilterworld, which was spinning around rapidly in all directions.
I can hear the crunch as the Tiltor World slammed into your rib cage
and shot you flying across the fairgrounds.
You smashed into a candy floss booth and took the wall out.
Your skull smashing into the candy floss maker
and your head emerging with purple and blue candy floss
in place of your long, dark, beautiful, shiny hair.
You look like some kind of Vietnamese.
Circus Freak, with candy floss on your head and blood streaming out of your eyes,
your arms broken and twisted like an upside-down scarecrow at an abortion clinic.
All right.
Dude! Seriously!
Do you mind not calling me dude, please? I'm a writer.
If you're a writer, I'm a chicken salad sandwich.
Well, I don't know what that means, sir.
mind if I finish my romantic
story, please.
Romantic story, huh?
Did you just say she
flew into a candy floss machine
and cracked her head?
If you don't understand
romance, I can't help you,
sir.
You know what? Hurry up and finish
because I don't like this at all.
Thank you very much, sir.
My dear
Samantha, I ran to you
as you stumbled out
out of the demolished candy floss booth.
It was painful to watch you walk.
Both your ankles had snapped,
and your feet were actually sideways
hanging onto your calf bones.
Your femurs dragging along the ground,
your feet sideways like a crab
that had been cracked open
at an all-you-can-eat-crab festival
on Coney Island, South Shore.
You stumbled along and all of a sudden you accidentally took a left turn towards the gaming booth where strong virile men were seeing if they could throw a baseball as hard as they could and smash the plate to win a prize for their lover.
You walked right in front of them as they wound up their strong muscular arms and they threw those softballs as hard as they could right into your full.
forehead, one, two, three, binging and banging off your temple, off your eye socket, your nose being broken almost instantly.
Two of your eye sockets crushed in your eyes drooping out of your face like a basset hound that had been smashed by a 14-wheel melon truck.
And your forehead bumpier than a sea turtle after it had fallen into a toilet.
clunked around in circles after being flushed over and over.
Oh, dear Samantha, you poor...
All right!
Dude!
I'm not finished, sir.
Oh, you're done, I'll tell you that much.
If you don't mind, please.
No, no, no, you're done.
You stumbled into the next gaming booth where children were throwing dots
trying to pop balloons, and suddenly you were in their line of sight,
and dots.
started peppering your body.
I remember as your ripped shirt hung open,
two of the darts went right into the front of your nipples,
somehow perfect, miraculous shots by the children,
right into the center of your nipple, right up the milk hole.
And you screamed, oh, how you screamed,
Samantha, like a coyote that'd been trapped in a steel trap,
and a hunter had walked up and bashed it in the head
with a large axe handle, but yet the coyote didn't die.
Its brain just fizzled out.
And then another dart hitting you right in the ain't.
Oh, right, God, stop!
Done!
Done to get them out!
This is disgusting, dude.
I'm not finished.
Samantha, do you remember when you fell on the hot dog vendor cart
and a giant Octoberfest sausage wedged in your three?
and you tried to scream, but your, your throat was puffed up like a pelican that just
swallowed a giant cementeret from the body.
All right.
Out.
Get them out.
Good riddance.
Holy God, I feel sick to my stomach.
What a moron.
Roger, I don't want that guy back.
He's the creepiest writer I've ever heard.
my life just really really really really bad and do you remember when one of the giant stuffed
animals that was one at the balloon dart jumped on your back and started humping you damn near
raping get out unbelievable your broken ankles in the air screaming and yelling as he humped your
reader and get out out
lock the door
go to a commercial i need to get my
wits good lord samuel e qualk
romantic writer
go to a commercial roger
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All right.
I'm cooled down a bit.
Let's, can we shift gears to something serious here?
You know, this is a tragedy.
This is a serious topic, but this is a tragedy that,
We're witnessing over and over again, and I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I'm going to say what I got to say.
You know, I watched recently President Obama give a speech, give a talk, give a sermon, whatever you want to call it, at the memorial for the five slain Dallas police officers, the white police officers that were killed by a racist black guy who said he wanted to kill.
white cops, which is a tragedy, and I saw Obama get up and give a speech, and I saw President
Bush give a speech, and I saw the police chief give a speech, and you know what, I'm getting
sick of these speeches, gang. You know, they broadcast these things on national television,
probably all over the world, and they're really well-written speeches, and they're
they tug at our heartstrings and they're emotional and they're powerful and they're
eloquent and they're they're showy and you know what they're too much with all due
respect it doesn't cut it anymore these these speeches with all the this motivational talk
and we must cease the violence and we must all join hands and be brothers and sisters
and we must work as one.
You know what?
I hate to say it, but it's all just gibberish.
I don't think anybody's sitting at home going,
yeah, I think, you know, after this speech,
I'm going to run down to the local community center
and figure out how I can sit in a circle
with 12 other ethnicities and just sit and talk.
Let's just talk it out.
You know, I think me and Mary Smith from up the street
and Dave Dimmelfarb from down on Whiteworth Crescent
and Carol Patterson over there
she has a little bungalow down in the valley
I think the six of us sitting in a circle
at the community center will really stop gang violence
and hate crimes and race-motivated murders
and ISIS and terrorist Islam
and I mean, you're living in a fantasy land, man.
Something's got to change.
Yes, all these things are good intentioned.
Yes, they're wonderful to hear.
Yes, the people that perish and die and get slain and murdered deserve it.
But I'm getting sick of it, man, because it's not resolving anything.
We can't keep doing this stuff after the fact.
We can't keep talking about how great everyone is after the fact,
after they've been butchered and murdered and shot.
we can't we can't keep having these these press conferences where where politicians and
law enforcement and military come out and they go we're doing everything we can to track
down every every single lead we're flipping over every every single rock we're backtracking
so that we can see the pattern of how this happened and how we can stop it from happening again
we're going through their computers and we're going through their house and we're going
through their friends and well it it ain't working man you know all this after the fact stuff
is just a bunch of hot air i hate to say okay because people keep dying people keep getting
blown up people keep getting assassinated and shot and it's almost like nothing is changing
nobody's taking any real hard affirmative action nobody's really laying down new
laws and rules and enforcing anything.
But I'll be damned if we don't put all kinds of energy into picking up the pieces after
the fact, well, we're going to go through this guy's hard drive and really put together
what happened.
What led to this tragedy?
I don't give a fuck what led to it.
What do we take all that energy and start building protective walls for society?
Why don't we start implementing programs and figuring out ways to stop this crap before it starts?
Because it doesn't feel to me like there's a lot.
I don't know about you guys, but I get the sense, oh, yes, the FBI and the CIA,
they're listening to chatter, they're monitoring cell phones, they're looking, they're watching.
While the rest of us just go about our daily routine, we're relying on the CIA and the FBI looking and
watching. And guess what? I think the last two or three radical Islam assassination terrorist acts
were committed by people that the CIA and the FBI had actually sat down and interviewed and
talked to and put on a watch list. I believe the Boston bombers. I believe the people down in
San Bernardino. Apparently they had talked to this guy who did the Orlando shooting. So clearly
shit ain't working, folks.
Clearly, the screening process and putting the pieces together before stuff goes down is a failure.
And your sons and daughters and wives and husbands and uncles and aunts and grandparents
are all going to die on the way.
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But I'll be damned once everyone's dead.
Oh boy, they're getting all the pieces together.
They're covering all the bases.
They're digging up all the facts.
Who gives a crap?
it's over everyone's laying there in their own blood dead staring at the sky with their
dead eyes glazed open isn't it time to start really thinking about setting up some type of
some type of social defense system where we can we can stop this stuff
is it time to get tougher with people once someone has a
criminal record or once someone's on the radar or once someone's done a violent act, once someone
seems mentally unstable, once someone's made some threats, once someone's been found with
bomb-making materials or has written things on the internet that are inappropriate and
suspicious, shouldn't we be doing something more? Shouldn't we do something more than just rely
on their good nature to be good? Oh, well, we'll watch them for three months.
Oh, well, he didn't do anything wrong for three months.
I guess we can wave that hole.
He had bomb-making material in the back of his white van.
Well, we watched him for six months after we found, you know, the 12 assault rifles
and the pneumonia to make a bomb in his basement.
We watched him for a good six months, and nothing happened after that.
We got to do better than that, gang.
I don't know if we got it.
You know how when you go to another country with a dog?
If you go to Australia with a dog, you have to put the dog in quarantine for a while, for three weeks or something?
Maybe it's time when we start finding these people, people that are suspicious, people that are found to be doing unsavory things.
Do we have to quarantine them?
Do we have to put them somewhere for a while?
Do we need to hang them up and shoot them and just eliminate them?
Do we need to put them on an island?
Do we need to implant a chip so we can monitor them?
Do we have to do something?
And you're going, well, these are all very radical solutions and ideas, Harlan.
That's too extreme.
We can't do that.
Radical and extreme compared to what?
Your family laying dead in a nightclub or at a school or at a movie theater?
At some point,
we're going to have to start bending things to prevent things.
Seems to me at some point, if you see someone acting out,
if you see someone saying something radical,
maybe it's time that they get different treatment than the whole,
this is the United States of America,
and you are free to say and do whatever you want.
You're innocent until proven guilty.
Well, maybe we got to change that a little, man, because here's how I see it.
There's good people in society that have nothing to do with bombs and threats on the internet
and assault rifles piled up in their basement.
I'm not afraid of those people.
I'm not worried about those people.
I don't think those people need to be monitored.
I don't think they need to be put on an island or in a special room or whatever.
But my God.
Don't you think it's time when the troublemakers are found?
We deal with them a little different.
Now, I'm not saying everything I said is a solution at all.
I'm just venting, as you can tell.
There's probably a more educated and smart solution.
But all the talking and the prayers and the rhetoric and the memorials afterwards,
guess what?
The body counts just getting bigger, not less.
And I'll tell you what, by the time you've heard this podcast,
I bet there's another mass shooting somewhere in the United States.
Whether it's racist-based, whether it's radical Islam,
whether it's just some guy who's pissed off that he got fired
or some woman that is mad at her husband for cheating.
It's almost hard to find a single murder anymore.
It's always like multiple deaths.
Seems like no one gets killed anymore in the solo world.
It's like group murders now is the thing.
And so we feel bad, we pray.
We have deep, deep sorrow for all these people that have been murdered and killed.
But I don't know that we're doing them any justice by having these
these beautiful memorials on television and having all these people's,
these prominent politicians and celebrities and people, you know,
saying these flowery things.
And we got to move past that and start finding freaking solutions and putting safeguards in place
and getting tougher.
And part of what I'm saying, you're probably thinking,
well, this is going to infringe on people's rights.
What if you get someone who's innocent and you, well, maybe you will?
I hope you don't.
I hope it's not me.
I hope it's not you.
But good Lord, somehow we have to filter, start filtering things, filtering people, filtering weapons.
It's a tough call, but, you know, and there's always mistakes.
You know, you look at the judicial system and you go, man, every year probably someone gets the death penalty that didn't really do it.
it.
And this may sound grim, but, but, and this is just a question, but at, do you have to sometimes
maybe have a sacrificial mistake?
Maybe one or two innocent people die a year in order to save thousands?
Ooh, that's, that's horrible to even say it.
It's horrible to even think it, but, but what's the solution?
I don't want anyone innocent to die to be executed,
be put in the death penalty, even to be put in jail.
So I guess what I have to say here is we need to find something
where we can filter people out safely.
And I'm not just targeting any race or group, white, black, Muslim.
I'm talking about all of us, all the flavors, all the colors,
all the races, all the religions, all of us.
There's bad white people, there's bad brown people, there's white, bad Asian people, all of us.
But can you imagine we keep going at the rate we're going?
It's almost daily.
It's almost daily.
Tell me your life isn't starting to be affected psychologically.
I know I've had this conversation with friends, and this is something I didn't have conversations about a year ago even.
I know people that are starting to avoid crowds, avoid going to malls.
They don't want to go to movies.
Even myself, I find myself thinking of evacuation plans when I go to a restaurant.
We're going to become such a paranoid and suspicious society that we won't be able to function.
And so we got to stop playing this game where, you know, after the shit's gone down,
We're on it.
Oh, we're on it.
We've put the pieces together.
We're not going to rest until we figure out how this happened.
Well, guess what, a week after it happened,
nobody cares.
I hate to say it.
We've moved on, man.
We don't really care about the trail and the path of the Boston Marathon Bombers.
We don't care about the Orlando guy.
We're done.
You know why we're done?
Because we're sitting here bracing,
anticipating the next attack that's about to have.
happen. Yeah, that's the society we live in where we don't have time to remember
the slain. We give them about a two-day window and then it's like, okay, when's the next
fucking thing happening? And so I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. If it's
pre-cog, if it's minority report, like that Tom Cruise movie where we have to start
predicting crime, you know, I did a thing about a year ago where I started to say, as
this world keeps getting more and more violent and unpredictable,
and you don't know if the guy in the subway is going to shoot your face off any second,
I talked about having chips, microchips, implanted in everyone.
And I got a lot of blowback.
People are like, no way, what are you crazy?
That's communist.
That's this.
You can't have a society.
And like, well, now that we're in a world where there's killings every day and your son or daughter
might not come home from school.
Now how do you feel?
Now how do you feel about a chip that monitors everyone's moves?
I don't want it, but you know what?
If it's sorted out the good people from the bad people,
it might have to be the way it is.
Sometimes we don't want things,
but sometimes we just evolve into things.
Right?
Sometimes when there's so many people, such a big population,
things just have to change.
Things have to evolve.
it's like cars you know there's a time when you could drive drunk there was a time when cars didn't even have seatbelts
there was a time when you could smoke on airplanes and in restaurants well guess what things evolved
things had to change for the safety of society of people and because of all this violence and all this
horrific death we're going to have to come up with new solutions the no smoking the seatbelt lawn
enforcement, no drinking and driving. We're going to have to start doing that with people,
with society, with all of us. We're going to have to start figuring out ways to lower the death
count and hopefully eliminate it. But how many of you have been affected? How many of you are just
going, it's just a matter of time, until me or someone in my inner circle or someone in my
family tree is a victim of gun violence or radical Islam or murder or hate crimes or whatever
you want to call it, whatever happens.
And again, you know, I'm not mad at the people that were killed.
Are you kidding me?
No, I feel sorry.
My heart's broken for all the people that are killed in this violence.
But I don't want to see more people die.
I don't want to see more people pile up.
And so this is why I'm saying this enough, enough with these fancy memorials and these long goodbyes.
Let's put that money and energy and initiative into figuring out how to stop this shit, man.
You know, it's interesting when a big corporation gets a virus in their corporate computers,
they bring in experts to debug the system.
experts to combat the virus.
They bring in experts to prevent hackers getting into their system and corrupting their files
and their system and their corporation.
They take great preventive measures to stop the attack.
And I just wonder if we're taking great preventive measures to stop the attacks on us.
I don't think so.
I don't feel it.
I don't think it's enough.
And if you want proof,
why don't you go in and look at the stats and do a body count?
Why don't you start counting all the innocent people
that are laying six feet under?
For no fucking reason got killed and shot and murdered.
And why don't you start as 2017 comes along,
why don't you, this will be a fun little hobby.
At the beginning of the year, January 1st,
Why don't you just start a tally? Every time an innocent American gets gunned down and murdered,
why don't you just put a little line on a piece of paper on your fridge?
Why don't you start at one and see where it sits by the end of the year on December 29th?
You know what? I'm willing to bet that it's up in the hundreds, maybe the thousands,
and just climbing. It's getting worse. It seems he's a tally.
and now it's almost, it's like, let's see who can get the biggest body count.
So there you go, my little rant.
I know it's a little heavy, a little serious, but I'm upset.
I get upset when I see this stuff on TV.
Having President Obama be eloquent and charming and talk about how great these people were
and how they laid down their lives, I already know that.
and your charming little goodbye and all the rest of you,
it's too late, man, it's done.
Get to work on stopping this stuff.
Bring in some experts.
Bring in who you got to bring in.
Get it going, man.
So there you go.
Looking out for you.
Looking out for all of us.
You may disagree.
Let me know.
3, 2, 3, 739, 43330, 3, 2, 739, 43330.
I'm not trying to sound cold or uncaring because I really am passionate about people not being killed,
but I'm frustrated and angry and I'm venting.
And at the end of this, my assessment of my rant is that just things got to change.
We got to do better.
We've got to come up with radical solutions to filter these bad people out of our society and somehow stop it.
And maybe sometimes to fight radical people, you have to make radical choices and do radical things.
So who am I to say?
But it's my two cents worth.
And I'll leave it right there.
323739, 4330.
If you want to throw your two cents worth then, or you can write me at Harlem Williams, Doctor.
and I think we'll end the show right there. Keep it hanging heavy. We started off light,
then we got into some summer romance, and now tragically because of the world we live in,
we have to end heavy. But I'm hoping that in the heaviness, I offer some kind of light.
I suggest some kind of solution or light or even a sprinkling of how to do better.
let me know
323 739
43 30
and by the way
God rest all the people
that have been shot
the people in Orlando
the people in Dallas
I mean
you almost can't say
rest in peace
I mean how does one
rest in peace
when they met with such a horrible
you know
undeserved end
I think if I was killed
by a terrorist
or a hate crime or a racist or
my soul wouldn't be able to rest.
I think I'd want to be an angry
fucking ghost
running around yelling and
shaking people and trying to make things right.
How does one rest in peace
when their life was so unfairly
and abruptly taken away,
so unjustly and so violently?
oh boy all right heavy heavy heavy um hey if you want to write to me you can at harland williams
dot com we have a contact uh link there at the website like i said the phone number three
two three seven three nine forty three thirty also we have a wonderful store there where you
can buy funny fun humorous items that might lift your spirits a bit after this this deep dark
conversation
I think comedy is what helps
brings us through a lot of this stuff
also
please get the app
on your phone just type in
the Harland Highway
on your phone
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And I appreciate all my existing premium members
and for those of you that decide to do it in the future.
That's it for today, gang.
Hope you had a good time.
A few laughs, maybe a little enlightenment,
maybe a little food for thought.
And I always appreciate you being here.
Thanks for listening.
And until next time, be safe, be positive,
keep doing good deeds.
even if they backfire on you.
And let's all keep looking for the solutions
that make us all better, safer, more loving, more caring,
more compassionate, and becoming one smart, intelligent,
embracing, loving human race.
That's a mouthful.
Chicken chow-main, baby.
Your forehead bumpier than a sea turtle
after it had fallen into a toilet
clunked around in circles
after being flushed over and over.
Oh dear Samantha!