The Harland Highway - 785 - Harland in trouble with his boss Mr. Featherstone. Getting old sucks!

Episode Date: July 21, 2016

Harland gets summoned to the office of his grouchy boss, Mr. Featherstone. Trouble in the aging department. Is the podcast too serious? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey man, welcome. Welcome to the coolest podcast on Planet Earth, man. It's the Holland Highway, and I'll be Holland Williams. Mother, no, no, no, this is Harlem Williams, not that guy. Hey, everyone, welcome to the show. Great to have you along. Interesting show today. Apparently, my podcasts have been getting a little too serious lately with all the nutty stuff going on in the world. and my boss, Mr. Featherstone, apparently, wants to reprimand me. And I have to go up to his office today. And apparently he's going to force me to do something on the show today, and I don't know what it is. So all I can do is roll my eyes and hope it's nothing too painful that doesn't wreck the podcast.

Also, we're going to be talking about a really heartbreaking experience that I had. It involved me. It involved my physical appearance. It involved my soul, my heart. It was almost being like crushed up after someone dumps you. Wait to hear this story that just floored me. Just floored me, man. I'm still weeping a little bit. I don't know if you can hear it. And then a touching phone call from one of the pavement pounders regarding me getting political on the show. We're going to talk about that. So a lot going on today. Hope you enjoy it. Here we go. This is. The Harland Highway.

Where are I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What are you talking about Williams? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh, God, what's happening here?

What's happened? Hey, Harlan, it's shall leave. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place.

The Harland Highway. What is it? The opening? To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man.

That is fantastic. Well, here I am. I don't know if you can tell or not, gang, but I'm up on the 12th floor. at my office building. You know, I do my podcast down on our studios on the 9th floor. And up on the 12th floor is my boss, Mr. Featherstone. And I guess he called me up. You know, he said, apparently lately, I've been, my podcast,

have been too political, too much social commentary, not funny enough. And I guess he's, you know, he's been. listening and I guess my producer rogers says he's pissed and today i get hauled out on the carpet so this ain't a good start to the show but uh you know here i am in the lobby there's mr featherstone secretary betty hello betty how are you betty harland williams okay well she just uh flipped me off um what okay i look like betty said i can go in, I'm going in, and uh, here I go into Mr. Featherstone's office. And, uh, there he is, sitting at his desk. Hello, sir, Mr. Featherstone, sir. Hello. Yes, sir, uh, Harland Williams here.

Uh-oh. Sir, Harland Williams from the, the podcast. The prod, prod, what? Sir, I'm not doing this, the podcast, sir. What are you, uh, coming up with a new language? What are you from Africa, from the Oolie Boolee tribe or something? Sir, I'm not from, I'm not from the Oolie Boolee tribe. It's called a podcast. Well, it sounds like Oolie Boolee talk to me. Sir, there's no such thing as the Oolie Boolee tribe in Africa.

Oh, what are you now? Some kind of, uh, rogue scholar? No, I'm not a rogue scholar, but you just made that tribe up. Well, you just made a word up. What was it? Plod plop. Sir, it's not a made-up word. I said podcast.

There you go. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Oolie Bully tribe. You want to jump around and squish a pineapple or something. Why would I jump around and squish a pineapple, sir? Well, isn't that what the Oolie Boolies do? sir there's no such thing as an oolie boolee now why did you bring me up here oh yeah you okay you're the one that does that podcast right that's what i've been trying to say sir well why don't you say it next time

and leave your african lingo jingo at the door there oolie boolee sir now i've heard that you've been getting all political and talking about politics and serious stuff that people don't give two ass hairs on a baby walrus's clit. Sir, did you just say, you heard me, a baby walruses clit? Sir, sir, you know, if this is going to be another one of these whacked out conversations where you give me a hard time, I'll give you whatever I want, because guess who pays your checks? You do, sir. That's right, Dinglesaurus.

Sir, I'm not going to tolerate the name calling. Sit out and shut up, close your fucking face, and open your ears and your nose. Why would I open my nose, sir? Because I'm about to fart, that's why. Sir, don't get into the farting thing. Let me ask you something. What? Have you ever farted on a snail?

What do you... What? Have you ever pulled down your pants and farted on a snail? They move slow so you can hover right over them, and you fart on the shell, and the whole house trembles. Sir, I do not fart on snails. Oh, excuse me. What are you the chief of the ooliboolies?

Sir! Why am I here? Because I want you to stop being funny again. You live? Listeners are writing in. They're calling the leaving messages. They don't like the political crap. And how do you know about anything political?

You look about as smart as a door knob at one of those funny little bars you go to downtown. What funny little bars, sir? Uh-huh. What? Uh-huh. Sir, I don't go to funny little bars downtown. Oh, really? Yes.

But what about the bumpy dinosaurs? down at 95th and 3rd the bumpy dinosaur uh-huh sir uh-huh sir i do not go to the bumpy dinosaur how about this you ever fought on a drive-thru speaker what you know when you go through the drive-thru and they take your order and that voice comes through you ever pull your pants down and fart on the girl's voice sir are we done here No, we're not done. I told you you're going to start to be funny again if you even were oly-booly. Sir?

Now, in order to make sure that you're funny, I've come up with a new character that you're going to do. Wait a minute, what? You heard me, broccoli teeth. Broccoli teeth? You're going to do my new character because it's funny. Wait a minute. Now you're writing my material. Sir? Well, somebody got

to Oolie-Booly. Sir? I mean, you probably have drunk on half the time on your plod-plops. Because you're out all night drinking at those funny little bars downtown. I don't go to the funny bars downtown, sir.

Oh, really? Yes, really. How about that one down at 12th and 29th? Which one at 12th and 29th? You know, the backward scarecrow? Sir, I... Are we done here?

No, you're gonna do a new character. What do you mean a new character? I came up with a new character, and you're gonna do them on your show. And you're gonna talk about politics, except your guest is gonna be fucking right, bro. Excuse me, sir? That's your new character.

What's my new character? character. It's the fucking right bro guy. What do you mean the pardon my friend the fucking right bro guy? You're gonna do a surfer character and he's always gonna say fucking right bro sweet bro stuff like that you're gonna throw bro on the end of things. I don't think I follow this sir well if you're talking about politics like let's say you say oh Hillary Clinton's running for president fucking sweet, bro. What?

Have you got fucking tomato salad sandwiches in your ears? No, I don't have tomato. What is a tomato salad sandwich? I'm not gonna say effing right bro after everything. Oh yes, you are. You're gonna get a pink slip, and you're gonna be spending the night down at one of your funny bars.

I don't go to funny bars. Oh, really? Yes. How about the bald catfish down at 94th and 3rd? Sir, I do not go to the bald... The bald catfish. Ah! Sir?

Ah! Sir, I am not going to do a character called the fucking right pro surfer dude. Oh, you're going to do it all right. Are you going to be out of a job? And you'll be back in the bushes, skin, skin, and monkeys with the oolie-bullie. tribe sir that sounded borderline racist oh so you live in the jungle and you won't eat a monkey huh i don't live in the jungle and i don't eat monkeys well you look like you eat monkeys probably eat a bald monkey down at the bald catfish sir let me ask you something before i

kick you out of here what have you ever farted on fresh fruit. What are you talking about it? Don't fart on things. You know, like at the grocery store, they put it in big piles, the peaches and the pears and the bananas. You ever just pull your pants down and fart all over a bag of cherries or something? Sir? How about out in nature? You ever walk up and fart all over an apple tree? Sir? How about a Granny Smith apple tree? You just let it rip. Sir, stop it! Well, there goes my phone. Get the hell out of you.

You're going to do the fucking right bro character. Are you done? Sir? You're going to do it? Sir, do I have to? You're doing it. You fired you. Three dollar pancake whore?

Sir, get out of here. I got to take this phone call. A $3 pancake whore. Get out. Go do your new character. The fuck off, bro. sweet bro guy yes sir get out of here unbelievable here I go back out into the hi Betty how are you well there okay thanks for another finger Betty good to see you too

I'm going back down to the studio and I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen but I guess I got to do this new character. I'm out the door. Roger, I know you can hear me. I'm still wired up to Roger always wires me up when I go up to see the boss. Play a commercial and give me time to get back down to the studio. And I'm just going to apologize in advance. The fucking right, bro, dude. Farting on an apple tree. What the hell?

Play the commercial. How about a movie tonight, huh? Wow, what's that after shave? wearing. You high karate after shave is so powerful. It drives women right out of their minds. That's why we have to put instructions on self-defense in every package. High karate, the brisk splash on after shave that smooths and soothes and cools.

High karate, after shave, cologne, and gift sets. Hi, karate. Be careful how you use it. All right, let's get this over with. Let's do the fucking right, bro. guy my boss wants me to he says if I'm going to talk politics and get all like socially conscious and aware that it's got to be funny and so that I have to introduce a new character that he came up with this isn't mine his name's fucking right bra so is he is he on the line

roger huh I put him through God this is humiliating I'm sorry Dang, I got to do this. Is he there? Okay. Hello. Oh, hello, dude. Hello. What's up, dude?

Oh, boy. Are you going to be talking like this the whole interview? Like what, bro? All right, I'm going to try to make this short and sweet. Y'all, you been cut like your penis, dude? All right, you know what? Fucking right, bro. Okay.

So, are you following the elections? Fucking right, bro! Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex.

That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and

Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy, or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harlan. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Are you, who are you voting for, Hillary? Fucking right, bra! So you, are you gonna be doing this the whole interview? Oh, fucking right, bra!

Are you voting for Donald Trump? Fucking right, bra! Okay, how can you be voting for both? Why not, dude, why not? Like spread the votes around, that way everyone's happy. What do you mean everyone's happy? Well, I don't believe in losing, dude. I'm a positive man, you know?

I think positive thoughts bring positive results. Like the other day, I went to the fucking drug store. So? Well, I got a pregnancy, a self-home pregnancy test kit. Why? Because I wanted to try it to see if I was positive, bro. And? I'm having fucking twins, dude.

It was fucking positive because I'm a positive bra. Right, bra? Fucking ripe, bro. Okay, you know what, dummy? Oh, wow, that's a bender, man. That's a real downbender, bra. What the hell is a downbender? I don't know.

Sounds like the way your penis goes. erection, a downbender. Would you stop talking about my penis? Well, what else is there to talk about, you boring old fart? You know? Fucking right, bro! So, what do you think will... How do you think the election will come out?

Well, I think Hillary's going to win, and then Donald's going to win, and like, you know, one of them can be president for half the year, and then the other one be the vice president, and then, like, halfway through the year, like, at the six-month period, they fucking doce-do, like a fucking square-dance routine, and they fucking flip-flop, fucking right, bro! Stop, you know, I am just about to the tip of my iceberg with your fucking whatever it is. Are you mean my fucking right, bro? Are you going to get out and vote in November?

Fucking right, bra! Do you just say fucking right bra to everything? Fucking right, bro. Okay, have you ever shoved a piano up your ass? Fucking right, bra! Have you ever sucked a... Fucking rhinoceros face. Fucking right, bro.

Have you ever barbecued a midget? Fucking right, bro. What do you think I had for lunch, bro? All right, you know what? I did my part. I've had enough of this shit. I'm hanging up. Are you hanging up, bro?

Yes, I'm hanging up. Fucking right, bro. Goodbye. Fucking right, bro. Goodbye. Fucking right, bro. Hang up on him. There, I did my part.

It was stupid. I got nowhere. But that's the penalty I pay for getting too political and too serious. But I did what I was told to do. Probably the worst character ever on this show. And it's done with.

It's behind us. Never, ever again. Now let's get on to the regular show and just get back to normal. God, although I got to say, after this next story I'm about to tell you, I don't know if there is getting back to normal. This story breaks my heart. It personally, it kind of destroyed me a little inside. And I'll tell you what happened.

You know, normally I'm running around town going for a cheeseburger. or a Chipotle or a, you know, a Coke and a taco. Fucking right, brought. No, no, no, no. And so I was like, I was kicking around like, man, I should eat something healthy. I'm going to go get a salad. I'm going to go get a big delicious salad. So there's this place near me called Soup Plantation.

Yeah, that's right. It's got the word plantation in it and soup. and it's one of these buffet-style places where you go and you get a plate and you pile some lettuce on and then there's like a mile-long salad bar where they got bean sprouts and blue cheese and mushrooms and peppers and egg and olives and onions and nine million different salad dressings and croutons and sunflower seeds and you know the drill and I'm like, damn it, I'm going to go get a salad. And this place is a little bit out of the way for me.

Like, do you know how many burger kings and in and out burgers and chick filets I passed to go get the salad? So I'm like white knuckling it. My fingernails are digging into my steering wheel. I'm like, oh, my God, there's a drive-through. Oh, there's a Wendy's. Oh, there's a McDonald. I'm just like, oh, oh, oh, Charles.

Oh, Nelson. So I make this effort to be healthy, and I'm feeling good about myself, and I get into the place. You know, I had to go into this, like one of those multi-level parking garages where I'm waiting for old ladies to figure out how to drive in multi-layered parking garages. Oh, God. It's like watching some, like, mentally challenged kid trying to do a Rubik's Cube, I'm telling you. But anyways, I finally find a parking spot. I walk down into this place. I, you know, I go in, I get my plate, I get my little tray.

And I heap some delicious green lettuce onto my plate, almost foreign to me because I'm, you know, I rarely eat a salad. And I'm going along and I plop on some peas, and I plop on some mushrooms and some bean sprouts, and everything I scoop on. and healthier by the minute. Oh, it's like, look of the good I'm doing for myself. And I put the thousand island dressing on.

Because, you know, I'm not going to settle for 99 island dressing. No, no, no, I need a thousand islands in my dressing. How do they make that stuff? They just go to islands and, like, take chunks out of islands. and throw them in blenders and whatever. So I got this big giant salad. It looks like a volcano, you know, because whenever you go to the salad bars,

they're always like all you can eat. So instead of just taking like, you know, a normal portion, you end up like building like this four foot tall, you know, salad volcano. I mean, there's more, more trimmings on this lettuce than I've ever seen in my life. I mean, with what other food do you stack sunflower seeds

and peas and beans sprouts and mushrooms and onions and bell peppers and cheese and, you know, chico nuts and crouton? I mean, it just looks like a bunch of college students threw up on my plate. And I'm about to eat it. So anyways, I finally build my salad volcano, my salad mountain. And I don't know if you've seen any pictures of me lately.

If you haven't jumped on my Instagram page, you should probably jump on there because, by the way, I'm posting some pretty fun stuff on my Instagram. It's just at Harlan Williams. But if you've seen me lately, I'm sporting this like goatee where some people think I look like a wizard, but I think I look more like a noodler. And if you don't know what a noodler is, a noodler is these fishermen from like Mississippi and the Midwest. These guys basically walk around in muddy rivers and shove their arms in catfish burrows underwater. and the catfish bite their arm and they pull like a, you know, a hundred-pound catfish out from underwater.

They basically need noodlers use their arm as fishing bait. So I feel like I look like a noodler. But you may think I look like a wizard. The thing that's weird about it, it's kind of got a black streak in the middle, but the rest of my goatee is gray. And it's getting long. I'd say it's about three inches long,

hanging off my chin. like a billy goat. I look like, I don't know why I'm getting a salad. I should be chewing a tin can in in some, someone's backyard in Switzerland. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Um, so anyways, now I've got my, my, uh, my mountain of salad. I walk up to the, to the cashier. I slide my tray along. There's a little metal railing. I slide my tray up to the cashier. I'm feeling good inside. I'm like, oh, yeah. This guy's eating healthy today.

The junk food king's eating healthy today, I'll tell you. And I pull out my wallet. And I'm like, I don't care how much a salad is. What I'm paying for right here is my health. So before I could even get the price on the salad, the guy goes, welcome to soup plantation, sir. You know, young Asian kid, maybe 19, 21. very polite he's wearing the little uh soup plantation apron and i go hey how are you he goes

good good you find everything you need i'm like yep i got my seven foot salad here he's like fantastic and would you like the seniors discount sir yeah see how i took a moment of silence right there Whoa. Whoa. As good as I was feeling about myself, the air just went out of the balloon right there. Oh, I was like a salad tongue through the heart. Oh my God.

I looked at the guy almost my, my jaw dropped. And by the way, my, my billy goat. goatee is on the bottom of my jaw so my goatee dropped as well and I didn't hold back I said what did you say dude he said would you like the seniors discount sir and I said whoa please do did you just ask me if I wanted the seniors discount I said no one's ever asked me that in my life I said you just crushed my soul dude I came in for a salad and you just ripped my soul out and stomped on it

with your little soup plantation uniformed salad shoes. It hurt, man. It hurt bad. I mean, he might as well have just, you know, maced me with oil and vinegar or Italian dressing right in the eyes. It burns. It hurts. It burns. I said, dude, nobody's ever asked me for a senior's thing in my life. That's the first time anyone asked me, and he was immediately, he's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. He goes, I don't know.

I just thought, and I thought, was it the goatee? Was it the gray goatee? But he didn't really answer, and I'm like, oh, my God. Do I look old now? I kind of do, actually. Oh, and I said to him, I said, oh, please don't, don't. ever do that again. They said, that hurt, man.

And then I couldn't help but wonder. I go, by the way, what is the senior's discount? He goes, well, then he goes, how old are you? Suddenly I'm getting carded for a salad. How old am I? I said, do I need to be of age to eat a fucking salad there, bro? Fucking Roy, bro. Oh, God.

So I said, I'm 53 years old, and he goes, oh, and he started stammering. I said, you know what, don't even tell me. I said, don't. Let me get my pile of greens. Let me give you some green. Let me go. I'm going to go drown my sorrows in my mountain of salad. Oh, it hurt.

It's one of those things, man. You know, you know how women seem to get very sensitive? I mean, this is something I've experienced. women can get very sensitive about if you mention their weight or you mention that maybe their clothing doesn't you know fit right or look good or their shoes don't really match their outfit or they didn't do their eyebrows

properly like they'll throw a baited common out there how's my hair and you're like yeah you know I like the way you styled it yesterday oh my god you you fucking hate me you think I'm fat it's it's i think you know what i felt when he asked me about my age is probably similar to how women react when when they get a an innocent comment that feels negative or derogatory and i took the age thing personally i was like oh my god you know because i'm inside i feel

like a 14 year old man i ain't i ain't in my 50s braz fucking right bras And by the way, based on this podcast, do you not think I sound like I'm 14? I got the maturity level of a freaking loaf of raisin bread, man. So there you go, man. That really freaked me out. That really, that made me feel old. I mean, I'm an active guy. I play sports every week.

I'm out there doing my thing. I'm going hikes. I, you know, I feel like I still do hip fun things. I'm doing my comedy. I'm doing my podcast. I try to stay funny and relevant and hip and cool. And now I'm being asked for my, if I want the seniors discount? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I guess I better get ready for it. I mean, you know, we can't fight age. We can't stop age. And maybe, maybe, you know, maybe I, uh, maybe I, uh, maybe I should embrace it. You know, maybe now when I go for a salad, I put on a little bit of an older voice. By the way, how much is this senior's discount? Did you find everything you needed, sir?

Well, I had a little trouble finding the croutons. Well, they're just down there, sir. I'm sorry, speak up in my left ear, I can't hear you. I went deaf about 40 years ago in the war. The croutons are just down there by the bean sprouts, sir. What's that? Your sister's got an elevator? No, sir, the...

I don't know, maybe I should... Do I really want to degrade myself to save $3 on a fucking salad when I should be at the Burger King Drive-Thru to begin with? Maybe I learned my lesson. Who says junk food isn't healthy, man? There's physical health, and then there's mental health. And I've got to tell you, the soup plantation just knocked 40 years off my mental health.

I've always been a calm, confident, collected guy. Now I'm an insecure, frightened, nervous, shriveled up old bed. bag who eats fucking lettuce oh oh the pain the agony i hope you you know just just a footnote here someday all of you listening are going to walk into this wall some of you listening maybe in your teens going to college some of you might be older than me some of you might be in your mid fifties or 60s some of you might be coming up on 30 or 40 something you know i've always been told have a baby face. Some of you might look older than me in your 40s,

and I've seen people that look older than me in their 30s. So one day, this seniors discount thing's going to slap you right in the face. And you'll know what I'm feeling. You'll feel it, boy. Oh, you'll feel it right in your walker. You'll feel it right in your orthopause. You'll feel it right in your orthopause. Pedic shoes, man.

You're going to feel your adult diaper tighten up when you hear that. Would you like the seniors discount, sir? Oh, I want to go and catch a catfish with my bare arm and smack you in the face, salad boy. So there you go. There you go. Stay healthy, I guess. that's my that's my sad, demented trying to eat healthy and be healthy story

and look at this, we're at the end of the show. Unfortunately, we had to lose a bunch of the show thanks to my boss. Can't wait to see how he reacts to what I did, but I, you know, I, again, I only did the fucking right bro guy because of him. I apologize. guys. Oh, but anyways, I hope you had fun here today. And, you know, just on a semi-serious note,

I still get it from people about whenever I do podcasts that are a little more serious or I talk about politics or social things. And, you know, I get it. Sometimes it's hard to listen to. Some of you love it. Some of you hate it. Some of you are in between. but it's just part of the experience. And so now what I do, what I did on the last podcast, where I was talking about, you know, society, and I got pretty serious. I wrote in the intro, I said, warning, this podcast, this episode does not contain comedy. It contains like commentary.

And so I actually had a guy phone in who appreciated that. You know what? I'm going to play his message right now. So you can hear it. Roger, play that message before we end the show. Hey, Harland, it's Shelley. Hey, I was taking a massive dump this morning and downloading my podcasts,

including yours this morning, and like I do every Monday and Thursday, look forward to it. Then I read your synopsis, and I decided to hit Remove Download. I'm sorry. You know, I cannot. sit through 46 minutes of that.

I love you, but I am not with you politically at all. And I just want to offer this up. You know, you're always approaching, you know, telling us this get tough attitude is going to solve stuff. After 9-11,

the attacks, George Bush was going to get tough, go and smoke the enemy out of their hiding place, and a lot of people in a lot of countries said that was a really bad idea, because what you're going to do is you're going to create more terrorists, you're going to create more enemies, you're going to kill a lot of people on both sides, and he wouldn't listen. And what happened? Now we have terrorism every day. We have a lot

more people who hate us. We have terrorism on our shores. So how did that work? Really? Did that help anything or did it make it worse? Be honest with yourself. Please. Violence only begets more violence. The NRA tells us the solution to all this gun violence is more guns. If there was bullets flying back in the opposite direction, this stuff wouldn't happen. Well, now they're shooting at cops. Tops have guns. There are bullets flying back in the opposite direction. How's that working out? Anyway, still love you. I'll be listening to the next podcast.

Hope it's comedy and not politics. Chicken chameen, baby. Well, how about that, huh? I mean, this listener didn't want to listen to me rambled on about politics, and then he rambled on about politics to me. But that being said, I have some thoughts on that. A, I respect his decision. not to download the podcast that I had highlighted as being not comedy.

And this gentleman's exactly the reason why I did that. I don't want anyone to have to suffer through my opinion or my thoughts. If that's not in their wheelhouse, if they don't want that. You know, most people tune into this show to laugh. And so now I'm going to do fair warning. And this gentleman, he heeded the warning and he did not. listen and I respect that and he's exactly the reason why I put the warning up and for him and other people that don't want to listen to that but I got to say and this might be

interesting to you and then the gentleman that called when he started kind of going on about his his points of view it seems like he had a lot to say and I dare say it was some pretty interesting stuff, and I dare say that it was kind of spawned because he was reacting, reacting to my points of view. And I find it interesting that, you know, even though he doesn't like my political points of view, it clearly caused him to react and to think and to want to formulate his own thoughts and points of view. And that's kind of, he kind of proved my point a little bit.

That's why I do it sometimes is because I don't do it to force my opinions down people's throat. I do it because I feel like maybe if I speak up, maybe it will make other people's points of view emerge. Or maybe something I say, even if they don't agree with it, will cause some thoughts to happen or a reaction or a rebuttal or an agreement or whatever. And so that's why sometimes I kind of lay out these podcasts where it's not just comedy and I kind of get into the world that we live in and the good, the bad, the ugly, the politics, the social angles. And lastly, I'll say that, you know, this gentleman who gave us a short little burst of his opinion on things, I don't know that I agree with all of it, but I found it stimulating.

I found that he, in turn, caused my mind to move the needle. I did not reject anything, he said. I absorbed it and stirred it around in my head and processed it. And even now, as I'm talking, it's making me think. and so even though I might not agree with his point of view or maybe I agree with a little bit of it or some of it doesn't matter the proportionality what is important is that

I listened absorbed and maybe something he said causes me to expand on my own opinion maybe dig deeper, become more entrenched in my opinion or maybe be illuminated by his opinion and go, you know what, I think maybe that gentleman just kind of enlighten me to a degree. And maybe I'm going to change my stand or maybe I'm going to modify what I was thinking. And so that's kind of the point of way I do that.

But at the same time, that stuff's heavy. That stuff takes you down a different track. If you're looking for the podcast to just put a smile on your face and make you giggle, then that's what you should listen to. And it's probably not fair to dump, you know, something too serious on you guys. So that's why from now on in the future, I give you a little, a pre-warning.

But for those of you that like to stick with my podcast through thick or thin, no matter what I talk about, I always hope and wish that whatever I say, even if it's not funny, maybe there's a nugget in there that expands your mind or doesn't. Maybe it just gets you angry. Because sometimes when you get angry and you create opposition, that too causes your mind to start thinking and generate. And you start going, well, why do I disagree with Harlan? Doesn't he see it?

Doesn't he get it? Why would he say that? Here's what I think. And your own brain starts teaching you things that maybe you didn't know about your or it makes you uh examine your own thoughts deeper and helps you draw deeper conclusions or whatever now i'm getting way too analytical so i'll leave it right there enough enough enough enough i'm droning uh anyways thank you for your call i do appreciate your point of view and uh and hopefully me posting a little warning prior to you listening helps you along but outside of

that hope you enjoy the comedy hope you enjoy the silliness and always appreciate everyone's input and being here. If you want to leave a voicemail, 323739, 43330, it does take a number of rings before the answering system picks up. There's no live voice on the end of that number. It's just a message machine. Takes about six or seven rings before it picks up. So hang in there.

323739, 43330. Love hearing from you guys. you'll get on the show if you leave a message. Also, you can write me at harlainwilms.com. We have a contact link on there. And while you're at harlunwilms.com, check out the groovy web store we have there, full of crazy merchandise for you. And lastly, please get our app, the Harland Highway app.

Easy to do. Just go into your app store on your cell phone. type in the Harland Highway and download for absolutely free. And if you really want to get some extra bonus stuff for 20 bucks a year, you can become a premium member. So there you go again. Thanks for being here, everyone. And again, I apologize for that stupid fucking ripe bro guy.

And until next time, chicken. Chowman, baby. fucking right, bro!