The Harland Highway - 799 - Harland's adventure to the BURNING MAN FESTIVAL

Episode Date: September 8, 2016

Harland shares some inspiring moments from the BURNING MAN FESTIVAL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holy jumping catfish fillets. Fry them up, bread them up, blacken them, and stuff them down your gobbhole. What the hell is that all of? What is this a cooking show? Hey, everybody, Harland Williams here at the Harlan Highway podcast. Oh, my God. Fresh back from the Burning Man Festival. Wow.

The things mine eyes have seen, the things my ears have. heard the things mine body has ravaged. Wait, what does that mean? Scrub that last on. Anyways, yeah, listen, today I'm going to kind of talk to you about my wonderful experience at the Burning Man Festival. Kind of an unexpected, very emotional moment happened. You know, a lot of times you go to these things for fun and frolic and pleasure and silliness. And on today's episode, I'm going to share with you kind of something that we kind of, the festival took a bit of a weird miracle turn. A miracle kind of happened while we were there.

So I hope you enjoy today's show and we'll tell the little story of how it all went at Burning Man 2016. So take your mushrooms. Here we go. This is the Harland. Highway. What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway.

What are you talking about words? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh, God, what's happening here? What's happening? Hey, Harland, it's Shelby. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway.

We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway. What is it? The opening. To what?

To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Oh boy. Yes. Oh boy.

Thank you for the psychedelic music, Roger. Yeah. play for a bit. Let's get everybody in the mindset. Get into the mindset of the psychedelic music. You know why? Because I did it again, gang. Uh-huh. That's right. Yours. Truly, I made it through my second year of the Burning Man Festival. Oh, M. G. Wow. What a, what a fun freaking time, man. I'm telling you. There were times when I was standing out there in the festival with my friends at night, and we would just stop and look at each other and go, where the hell are we?

What planet are we on? What is happening here? The Burning Man Festival is so unusual and so out there and ethereal and eclectic. And it's such a parade of moving lights and music. and sound and imagery. You know, I always, people always say to me, what's it like? I say, it's like, it's like wandering into one of your own dreams

and walking around for four days. You know, you've all had weird dreams, you know, where all of a sudden a dragon meets a zebra and you're skateboarding naked and there's someone with seven foot tall purple hair and a giant grizzly bear made out of, of pennies in the middle of a desert I mean this is this is I'm you think that I've just made that up this is like real stuff that happens a burning man and it just goes on and on

every day and you walk through it and you ride your bike through it and you ride through it and oh it's just it was fantastic I think I liked it even more this year than I did last year probably because I you know first year I was a little like overwhelmed it's so it's so crazy and big as I go oh whoa whoa whoa what and then this year I kind of knew it a little better but it was it was just amazing and so this year what I did is I had such a good time my first year last year I decided I wanted to bring all my friends I told a bunch of my closest friends It's probably six or seven of my closest buddies. I say, guys, you got to come to this thing.

And they're like, well, what is it? What's it like? And I'm, you know, I kind of did what I just did to you. It's like walking around in your own dream. And they're like, okay. Okay, I kind of get it, I guess. And it's in the desert, right? And it's dirty and dusty and a lot of freaks.

And I was like, exactly, yes, it's amazing. And they're like, yeah, yeah, I'll probably go. and you know that fake i'll probably go thing where you know they really don't want to go and burning man such a strange event you can't really put it into words it's one of those things you have to be there you have to you have to go to it's like being on a roller coaster you can describe being on a roller cause well you go way up and then you drop and then you go whoosh and womb and your stomach feels like it's coming out of your mouth and you but but then you go on it and it's like it's a million times more what you can describe it to be and so one by one all

my friends had an excuse or dropped out or couldn't do it or whatever you know and I was down to my last buddy my buddy Michael and even he was tentative I can tell he was like I was Like Michael, trust me, okay? I'm your friend. We've known each other for so long. I know you, you know me. You just trust me. I can almost guarantee you're going to love or maybe at the worst like this thing.

And he's like, okay, okay. And then I was just waiting at any day for him to drop off and go, you know what? Something came up. I have to go to this thing or, you know, I got something from work. you know, it turns out this or that, you know, people manage to come up with excuses. But Michael's a pretty loyal, reliable guy. So I thought, hey, he might hang in there. He might, he might make it to the finish line.

And so, you know, I rented an RV for the two of us. It's pretty big. It's got a kitchen in the middle and a sitting area. And then there's a bedroom at one end. And then there's a bedroom at the other end. And I said, you know, I'm renting this RV. We'll split the cost. Will you stay at one end?

I'll stay the other. We have a kitchen. We have a shower. We have a bathroom. Even though it's a crazy environment, at least at night, we can go somewhere and sleep. And if we want to cook some food, blah, blah, blah. So we hung in there. I said, this is what you need.

You've got to go buy a bike. You've got to have a bicycle. You've got to have eye goggles to keep the wind and the dust out. You've got to have a mask to breathe through to filter out the. the finite particles of dust to get whipped up on the desert. And whenever you tell someone this is the stuff they need, they're like, yeah, okay, what's going on? So, you know, he slowly started collecting the stuff,

and by the time he committed to the bicycle, I was like, oh, I think he might be in. He just put down like 500 bucks for a really nice bicycle. I think he's going to do it. and I'd locked in the RV and we'd locked in the location and some other people, you know, other group of people who'd been there before. We're going to meet them up there. And so I'm thinking, here we go.

We're going to Burning Man. And so we're just ready to go. It's two days before. I bought all the groceries and I'm going to pick up the RV the next day, get it loaded up. up and we're going to pull out. And like two days before, he phones me and he goes, hey, man, my dog is sick. And I'm like, oh, boy, of course, of course, the classic, my dog is sick. It's not work, it's not family, it's not, you know, I've got a cold, it's, it's that classic

go-to, my dog is sick. I'm starting to sound like the Christmas story. You know that movie? Oh, boy, there it was. the classic my dog is sick it was the perfect way to get out of going to the burning man I would call him up and say

my dog is sick remember that Christmas story movie and the guy did a voiceover for everything and so I thought oh man this is his way out and I was kind of bum because he bought the bike and he bought the mask and he bought the goggles and I thought I should have

known. I should have known. And then I, you know, I called him. I said, what's going on with your dog? And I was expecting some lame thing like, oh, you know, he's, he hurt his toe or he's not feeling well, or his nose is dry. So I call him up, you know, maybe a little unsympathetic, thinking he's trying to weasel out, which is uncharacteristic for Michael, because he's not that kind of personality. He's a guy who sticks to his word. So I was like a little like, oh man, not Michael. So I phoned him, I go, what's wrong with your dog? He goes, dude, you're not going to believe it. My dog just went blind. And I'm like, what? He goes, my dog just went blind out of nowhere. He woke up and he can't see. He's walking into walls. He's completely and

utterly blind. And I was like, I felt my heartbreak. I was like, oh, my. God, I've had dogs. Good Lord. Your dog just went blind like pop, and so I could hear it in his voice. He was crushed. Who doesn't love their dog? Devastated. And then I was like, wow, it's over.

He's not coming to Burning Man. The dog's blind. And so Michael, you know, I could barely talk to him on the phone. He was running around, going to specialists and veterinarians. Got some pills and this and that, and he was freaking out, and he was upset, he was emotional. And Michael's a busy guy, so he has a personal assistant. The assistant was running all over. And so, like, a day and a half goes by, and it's tentative.

He's texting me. He goes, dude, I'm sorry. I just don't know if I can go. And I'm starting to resign to myself. It's like, okay, I went last year by myself to Burning Man. I'll do it again. I'll go by myself. I really wanted him to come.

I think he would have loved it. But I get it. His dog went blind. That's just freaking horrible, man. And then I started kind of put in my hat. I thought, well, why would a dog just go blind? And I said, Michael, I know this sounds very strange that a dog would just go blind. And so not being a veterinarian, I said, maybe it's something to do with his nervous system,

or maybe it's got something to do with blah, blah, blah. And maybe this is just a temporary blindness and, you know, it'll come back around. The vision will come back. And he's like, yeah, but I can't bank on that. I can't go on my, I'm not there for my dog. And I said, we have a full-time assistant. She stays at the house, right? And he goes, yeah.

And, you know, well, maybe, you know, I don't want to be insensitive. I love your dog too. I know your dog. He's an amazing dog. But, you know, maybe she can kind of watch him. I said, I don't want to sound cold or hard. but you can't change it. You know, it's nature.

If your dog's gone blind, you know, you staying here with the blind dog isn't going to change it. He'll still be blind. It goes, I know, but he needs to hear my voice. And then I was like, yeah, you're right. But I said, you know, another thing is you're stressing out. You're going crazy. Maybe going to Burning Man would actually be good for you.

And I fully meant that, but there was a little tiny selfish side of me. I'll be honest. It was like, come on, man, let's go. but mostly I was concerned about the dog 100%. And so if he was, if he didn't want to go, I got it. I was ready to do it on my own. And so he was running around doing all this thing

in the morning of, you know, he calls me and he says, look, you know, we got him on the pills. He's still blind, but the dog is kind of starting to move around and getting his bearings. And I said, Michael, that's nature. and animals are incredible. When a dog goes deaf or blind or, you know, dogs and most animals are equipped,

they're so in tune with their senses. It's a survival instinct. When one sense goes mute, the other one kicks in triple fold, and your dog will be able to maneuver his way through your house blind probably just without even thinking about it. A dog's instincts will kick in. It will count the steps.

It will hear things. It will smell things. it will follow its scent. And I said it's tragic that your dog will be blind, but it, you know, it will adapt. And I think he was feeling better about the dog because just seeing that it could walk around, it was walking up steps.

You know, it was still, you know, obviously in the dark, but it wasn't just sitting in a corner terrified. And so I gave him a little more, you know, gentle nudging. His assistant gave him a little more gentle nudging and he said, you know what? Okay, let's do it. I'm going to be on the phone with my assistant and blah, blah, blah. We'll check in on the dog. So Michael decides to come. Almost at the last minute. I was like, yes. And of course, you know, I go over. I have the RV. We load up. I go in. I pet the dog. I see the dog's wagging his tail. He's walking up and down the steps. He did walk into a banister.

he did walk into Michael's suitcase headfirst that was right in the middle of the of the hallway. I was like, oh, God. But I also felt like, you know, like I said, with animals, with nature, they adjust. And I also said, Michael, you know, one of the things about Burning Man is it's a very spiritual festival. It's not just about singing and music and jumping around

and having a drink and being crazy. there's a spiritual element to Burning Man where you harness your energy. It's not a religious spirituality. It's the energy of the earth. It's the energy of people. It's the energy of the spirit, the soul, the mind. And I said, you know what?

Bring a picture. Bring some photographs of Irv. At Burning Man, they have a temple. They put up a temple. They make it out of wood, a giant temple, and people go in there by the thousands. and they pray through whatever means they want to pray through, whether it's to a wall, whether it's to God, whether it's to Buddha,

whether it's to Allo, whether it's to the dust, whether it's to the sky. It's just called the temple. There's no religious affiliation. And people put up pictures. They put up pictures of their loved ones or their dead ones or their lost ones or their dying ones or their sick ones. They put up pictures of dogs and grandparents and children. and it's a very powerful place.

You know, I experienced it last year the first time I went. The energy in there is palpable. When you walk into the temple, you can almost walking into a wall of human emotion and energy and spirituality. People sitting around on the floor, weeping profusely, hugging, crying, praying, praying,

chanting. Last year, I sat with a guy in the temple who played a didgeridoo while his, well, his, well, his girlfriend chanted. It was very, it's very mystical and interesting. And I said, we'll put pictures up of your dog and we're going to pray that his sight comes back. We're going to put them up in the temple and pray that his sight comes back. And I think he was a little mystified. Obviously, he didn't get it. He'd never been. to Burning Man. He's like, okay. So instead of bringing pictures of his dog,

he found a little stuffed animal, like a plush toy. Somewhere, he found a plush toy of his dog, and it was almost an exact replica of his dog. It wasn't that big. It was a small one, but it looked exactly like his dog, which was sort of a German shepherd mix.

Okay? Kind of think of like kind of a German shepherd meets some kind of terrier maybe. And so we took that along and we get up to Burning Man. We drive all the way up there, big long drive, all the way up in California,

all the way up into northern Nevada, into the desert. And we make our way into Burning Man. And right away, he's fascinated. And that was part of the fun of this year's Burning Man for me was to introduce someone new to it and watched their expression and watched their face and watch their emotions and watch them just kind of be in awe as they entered into this weird giant festival of 70,000

people. And so we got settled, we found our camp, we parked. The first night we went out and walked around in the darkness and took in the sights and the sounds, and then the first thing the next morning, I said, Michael, let's go to the temple this way we can kind of you know set the energy for your dog and you can relax and you can unwind and uh and we'll go say some prayers we'll pray that the dog gets his sight back and we'll uh we'll you know we'll continue on with burning man and so sure enough we get on our bikes me and him and another beautiful girl that was staying at our camp with us

We all went out to the temple with the little dog, the plush toy. Michael put it in his bicycle basket, and we peddled. You know, it was probably like a mile to get out there, the middle of the desert. The windstorms are blowing. The little tough stuff toy is all covered with silt and dust. We're just in this cloud of dust. And then all of a sudden, you know, fading in through the dust is the temple. And it's in the form of a giant like pagoda.

It's like an Asian pagoda, just a giant towering. You know, this thing's like, I don't know, how tall, 150 feet high or 200 feet high. I don't know. It's a very large structure. And it just kind of came out of the dust. And we rode up, we parked our bikes, we walked inside, we found a place to put Irv. we put them up on a shelf and we all stood there and me and michael and this other wonderful girl that was with us we we all embraced we held hands we put our hands on the stuffed toy and we prayed

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three of us. And here's a little sample of this very intimate moment. Maybe it sounds a little ridiculous because it was for a dog. But the dog was sitting there hanging, you know, in this little cubicle, and we were all standing around, channeling our energy, and it meant a lot to us, and that's the beauty of Burning Man. It's quirky, it's different, and this wonderful girl that was with us, her name was Dee, and she put her arms out, and she put her hands over the dog's eyes, and she decided to pray. You know, maybe she's related. You know, maybe she's religious, she believes in God, she decided to channel her prayers to Irv, who is the name of the dog, Irv. She decided to channel her prayers through her own God, which I believe was the traditional

God most people believe in, and here's her prayer. And I know that you love all of your creation so much in all the animals, and so we just lift up Irv and we pay for healing of his eyes, Lord. we know you can do all things and we know that you're the healer the ultimate healer and we just lift him to you we can ask you hold him close in your arms and just look over him when when we return back let him just be completely healed and so joyful and so happy and feeling of me so that was a little piece of her prayer i didn't play all of it but that was that was a little chunk of it and and you know all this time i'd been telling michael is like dude don't

worry, don't worry. We're going to go to the temple. We're going to pray. We're going to get the Irv's sight back. And, you know, he's never been there. He didn't know what the temple was. And I could tell when he walked in, he was, you know, he can't help but be overwhelmed by, as I told you earlier, the emotion swirling around in there. And so, you know, I said a prayer. And unfortunately, I was filming. This audio you're hearing is from. a video camera. And so I had to shut it off just to do my little prayer, unfortunately, but I turned it back on when Michael was doing his prayer.

And so here's his wonderful prayer. And I don't think Michael channeled his, I don't know if he channeled it through God or whoever. It was a little ambiguous, but he just, you know, he channeled his prayer out there into the universe so that his dog's sight. would return have a listen i love you buddy i see every day i wake up in the morning and i would kind of move i'm in you just start you make me smile right away you jump off those stairs

and you jump on the bed you eat me alive and with the sheets you're always smiling you're always happy you always just make me so happy to be alive buddy i love you so much you can see me again i know you're always here with me Good man. Can we get a group of wolf on three? Two, three, woof. So there you go. Michael said his prayer.

You might be going, well, dude, wasn't that kind of personal? Wasn't that kind of intimate? Why are you sharing this? And the reason I was filming it is because I decided, you know, with Michael that when we went, we do like a little mini documentary of our adventures at Burning Man. So eventually this is going to come out in a film version anyway. So it's not like I'm playing something that wasn't meant to be heard or seen because it is going to come out.

And when that film's ready, I'll let you guys know we'll probably post it online. So here's what's interesting. We do the prayer. We all hug. We all hold. Everyone was crying. We got Sharpies. I brought a pocket full of Sharpies.

And at the temple, they leave. blocks of wood around, little blocks of wood, and you can write on them, you can write little prayers or sayings or somebody's name, and you put them back down in the temple, you stick them on a wall, you put them up on a piece of wood, or wherever, and we wrote all these little prayers for Irv, and we put them up on the wall, and I'll share with you, since you couldn't hear my prayer, I'll share with you what I wrote on the piece of wood. I did film that, and you can hear what I wrote on the little piece block of wood, hoping Irv would get his sight back. Here it is. Irv, the eyes go dark, and pray for a spark. Irv shall sleep the light. Right, bro? That's great.

When the eyes go dark, we pray for a spark. that Irv shall see the light. That was it. Simple, easy. But it was there. The energy was there. And so, you know, it was a very emotional, emotional moment, emotional time. And we hung around for a bit longer. And then we left.

We left the temple. And we rode away. And we kind of did a few more activities for about an hour and we got tired and we decided to all head back to camp and have some lunch. So we go back to lunch. We're all feeling a little emotionally drained and we're back at camp for about an hour and Michael's cell phone rings. And it's his assistant. And his assistant is FaceTiming him. And we can see her smiling and we can see her smiling and we can see Irv and we see

her throw a ball for Irv and Irv runs and gets it and she says Michael your dog can see again what you kidding

we were all just like are you kidding it was it was a magical moment at Burning Man it was a great spiritual moment and I don't know what any of If you believe in, I don't believe if you guys believe in the power of prayer, if you believe in the energy of God or any type of other energy or life.

And was this just, you know, a medical situation where the dog's eyes came back to life? I don't know. Did the prayer and the energy have anything to do with it? You decide. Well, it's funny, you know, it was an 11-hour drive up to Burning Man, and part of that drive, Michael and I, I had a conversation about people who don't believe in prayer and a force bigger than us as human beings. And we talked about it. We probably spent about an hour talking about it.

And I expressed that, and no offense, if you don't believe in anything, I expressed to Michael. I said, I feel sorry for people that don't believe in anything else, that don't believe in a force or a light or an energy or have faith in their soul and their spirit, that don't have some kind of inner belief in something bigger than them. To me, it feels like that's part of what makes me as an organism, as a bunch of molecules and atoms smashed together. I think part of that is comprised of a soul and a spirit and faith and not necessarily a modern religion.

context that we all know about, but just in a power and energy in this massive, unexplored universe. And it was interesting because Michael kind of felt the same way. And it was kind of a revealing conversation we had. I didn't know that about Michael, to be honest. I didn't know that he felt the way I did about faith and the possibility of forces greater than ours that put the universe together or we're part of putting the universe together. You know, we left it kind of open-ended, ambiguous because it's such a big force.

We both felt that you can't really almost define it, but at the end of the conversation, we both believed that there's something stronger than us and our cars and our money and our power and our wars and our religion and our banks and our homes and our, even our, and so this is kind of day one of Burning Man and I kind of kicked it off for you here on kind of the heaviest day in terms of of this type of thing but what was really great is you know Michael was able to have that weight off his shoulder he could spend the rest of this wonderful festival not only embracing it enjoying it but also believing in it because immediately something happened that made him go wow this place is special and look at this i used up almost the whole

podcast talking about it but i thought it was a pretty cool story i thought it was a very interesting story and i thought you guys would would like it i thought you guys might might glean something from it and i urge all of you to if you have the means if you have the chance if you have the time at some point in your life, go to Burning Man. I can't promise that 100% of you that are listening will love it or even like it, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that 90% of you will love it. To close this segment up, my buddy Michael, who was a little bit hummy and high about going and was very unsure and a bit skeptical and a bit nervous and trepidatious, many times throughout the rest of the days and nights he turned to me and just hugged me and said,

whoa, Har. That's my nickname, Har. Short for Harland. He said, Har, thank you. Thank you for bringing me to this. Thank you. And at the end of it, I said, what did you think? He goes, it was one of the best experiences of my life.

And I want to come back every year. And I just had a big, you know, smile on my face because, like I said at the beginning of the segment, I know my friends. You know your friends. And I just knew that it would touch them, it would reach them. And, you know, the rest of the festival is all our crazy stories and fun times and not as emotionally heavy as this. And I don't even have time to tell them, but this is the segment you're going to get for this year. And just fill in the blanks of me and Michael and all the other people. just going nuts and having fun and laughing and going crazy for the next three days, three, four days.

Just wild. So there you go. There's Burning Man 2016, just a little tiny slice for you guys to get your heads around, sink your teeth into. And who knows? Maybe some of this spiritual stuff, maybe some of this stuff. if I talked about, touched you. Maybe it inspired you to want to go. I think a lot of people don't realize

that Burning Man is not just a crazy, fun dance fest and music and everything else. There's a deeper side to it. You know, there's any side you want. That's what's really freeing about Burning Man. You can put into it or take from it whatever you want. It's not like a rock concert or a concert or a Coachella where it's like, okay, we're going to go to Coachella, we're going to stand,

we're going to watch 12 bands play, we're going to drink, we're going to go home. That's not what it's like. There's no bands there. I mean, there's a few rogue bands, but it's not a music festival. It's hard to describe. So I hope you gained a little knowledge, a little insight, and, you know, if nothing else, maybe you got a little taste of the power of the energy. of, of, of prayer and believing in something bigger and greater than ourselves. I bid you good night.

What am I? Now I sound like a gravekeeper. I'm like, I bet you good night. I shall come to your window and bite your throat. So anyways, there you go. Hope you like that. I'm going to close out the show because, you know, I talked for a whole freaking half hour. I thought, I'll talk 10 minutes about Burning Man.

guess what? I went and I went and I went. So I hope you enjoyed that. We had a great time. Hey, let's do a few announcements before we go. Welcome to September, by the way. My God, here we go. We're heading towards fall and then Christmas and, oh, another year. At least next year.

You know, another year from now I can go to Burning Man again. Let me tell you what's going on this week. Yes, starting September. 9th and 10th. I will be in Utah. Salt Lake City, Utah at Wise Guys Comedy Club. Two shows Friday night, two shows Saturday night, September 9 and 10. Fantastic club. Wise guys right downtown in Salt Lake City. I can't wait. It's one of my favorite clubs. Go to my website, Harlow Williams.com. You can reserve your tickets right away. It is going to be a blast, I promise. Okay? So that is starting tomorrow. Let's see. The 9th is tomorrow.

Yeah, Friday. So check it out, players. And then the following weekend, yes, indeed. September 15th through the 18th, I'll be in Kansas City at the Kansas City Improv. Kansas City Improv, great venue, great club too. I love it. These are the first gigs of the fall for me. And so I'm excited.

And then at the end of the month, September 30th through the beginning of October, Pittsburgh. The Pittsburgh Improv. And then October, I'm going to be in Minnesota. I'm going to be in San Jose. I mean, it just keeps coming, gang. So go to Harlandwilms.com. click on my stand-up link, my stand-up tour link, find out where I'm at.

You can order your tickets right online, hope to see you there. We're going to have some laughs, baby. Also, we're at harlot Williams.com. Check out our store, the harland-Williams.com merchandise store. Tons of cool things for sale. Also, you can call me and leave me a phone message. 3-2-3-739, 43330, 3-3-7-3-7-3. 3, 940, 3.30.

Leave me a message. Let me know what you think about things. Maybe you want to comment on the Burning Man experience. Also, you can write me at harlornwilliams.com. There's a contact link there. And also, don't forget to go on the app link at harloweems.com and join Harlowiams.com, the Harland Highway app. It's free on your cell phone.

You can also become a premium member for $20. that's right $20 a year you get all kinds of bonus material it's unbelievable so there you go gang uh that's it for now happy september let's get rolling into fall here our spirits high our spirituality high and uh let's make it great shall we so there you go well that's it thanks for being here everybody tell your friends to get on the harland highway and until next time Chicken, chau-main, baby?