The Harland Highway - 804 - CROCK POT BOMBINGS. Crazy News Story from the air.

Episode Date: September 26, 2016

Harland talks to a military expert on Crock Pot bombs. Crazy news story that comes from the air. Garden hose time machine update. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chucka, chucka, chucka, chucka, chucka, chook a con, chuck a con, chuck a baby over a wall. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Whoa, easy guy. Hey, welcome to the Harland Highway. Harlem Williams here, hosting you through this wild wacky podcast. What a show we have, you know, slap. lap. The bombings that happened recently in New York and New Jersey, scary stuff, more terrorist bombings, Crockpot bombings, and we have an weapons expert coming on the show from Dublin, Ireland,

a man who did some time in the military to discuss how we deal with these domestic primitive bombs. Pretty heady stuff. Also, a crazy news story. Way do you hear. some woman got hit in the head from above by you'll never guess what. Just crazy. We'll analyze this crazy news story and have a few laughs at the expense of her head. Also, the hose, the garden hose story just keeps growing. I'm going to give you an update on my short story. And also an update on a new television show I'm doing the premieres in October.

Stand by. This is The Harland. Highway. What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What are you talking about? Son, you got a panty on your head.

Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh God, what's happening here? What's happening? Hey, Harland, it's Shelby. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard.

That is fantastic. That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway. What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams.

You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. The Harland Highway. Crazy news story. That's weird. Wow. That's strange stuff.

Oh, yes. had to start the podcast with this story. I mean, good Lord, too delicious to pass up. Here's the headline for today's crazy news story. Catfish falls from sky hits woman on street. Talk about your flying fish. Here we go. Falling catfish weren't generally considered to be one of the hazards of life in Philadelphia until now.

Lisa Lorby tells the Philadelphia Enquirer that she was walking near the city's art museum on the morning of Labor Day when she heard a rustling in the trees above her and was suddenly slammed in the face with what turned out to be a five-pound catfish. Well, we all know that cats like to go up into trees, right? So if you're half cat, half fish, is that wrong? Is it wrong for a cat fish to be in a tree? Is it wrong for a catfish to be walking along the top of a fence? Is it wrong for a catfish to be stalking mice in your backyard?

I don't know. Maybe there's a reason it's a catfish. Witnesses saw a bird, possibly a hawk or eagle, flying away, like it was the culprit. The bird had apparently dropped the footlong fish, which fell more than 50 feet through the tree branches before hitting Lobby, who was left with a cut on the face. Oh, God.

Can you believe it? And they just think it was a bird. Like that's the catfish face detectives putting the pieces together. Well, someone witnessed a bird in the visual. vicinity, uh, flying away rather rapidly with a guilty look on its face. Uh, anyone with pictures or video, uh, please contact the FBI. Uh, the, the Osprey is a prime suspect in this, uh, this intense investigation. I mean, what if it wasn't a bird? I mean, that's the most logical answer, but what if it's just some weird like what if it was a you know it's a creature from outer space

mimicking a catfish and it fell off an asteroid what if uh you know what if there was uh one of those water bombers have you seen the big water bombers that when there's a forest fire they go down they scoop water out of a lake and then drop the water on the forest fire what what if one of those was flying overhead and it and it's scooping and it scooped up a poor five pound catfish which by the way is a big fish that that a five pound fish is a good catch to any fisherman by the way and I'm a fisherman I'll take a five pounder that's a that's a hefty fish man that's what we call a keeper I got myself a keeper um and what if you know it did you know it was just emptying out It's fusillage trying to, you know, jettison some of the extra water.

And Melvin the catfish was flapping around in there. I mean, you know, do I believe it was probably a bird? Yes, but that's logical. But did they check the catfish's torso for talon punctures, right? A large bird of prey would not be able to carry a five-pound fish. That's a big fish for a bird. Because remember, folks, big birds of prey aren't as heavy as they look. Big birds of prey are, it's a lot of feathers and they have hollow bones.

Most birds have hollow bones. Did you know that? Because they can't have dense bones or they'd be too heavy. They couldn't get up in the air. So many big birds probably don't weigh more than five pounds. You'd be surprised that the weight of a bald eagle. Why don't I go on line here and just see what the weight, the actual physical weight of a bald eagle would be? Because, you know, picking up a five-pound fish when you only weigh, you know, 10 pounds, that's a bit of a feat.

Here we go. How much does a bald eagle? Way. Look at this, six to 14 pounds. That's not a lot. Six, it varies, it says here, between six to 14 pounds. That's not a lot. You're talking about a five-pound fish. That's like if you weighed 200 pounds and you lifted something up that was 120 pounds. Wait, that sounded wrong. I don't know. I don't know if that works. But let me see what an osprey weighs.

An osprey is a bird of prey that dives for fish. Wow, ospreys, you're not going to believe this. Ospreys, which are very large birds, three pounds. Three pounds for an osprey. And those are fish diving birds. Let's see what a red-tailed hawk ways. They're a bird of prey.

They don't dive for fish, but, you know, now you got me interested. Red-tailed hawk ways. Oh, my God. You've seen these giant hawks that circle around farmers' fields. Big, big, big brown hawks with the red tails. You'd probably look at them in the sky and go, That's a 25-pound bird. 2.4 pounds.

Okay, so what I said is accurate birds. Now I've got to do this. Now I'm interested. How much does a damn hummingbird weigh? I mean, this is straying off the story a bit. But, I mean, if a giant bird weighs next to nothing, how much does the smallest bird weigh? Let's see.

Hummingbird. 0.056 ounces. Oh, my God. I mean, I think a housefly might weigh more than a hummingbird. Incredible. So anyways, let's finish our story here. Lisa, the woman that was hit by the fish in the face, says, I think it might have been head, face, and neck,

because I felt so bad afterwards. smelt disgusting. So I guess she feels she got hit in the head, face, and neck. Because she had a fish stink. Now, this is getting a little dirty, but I wonder if there's a trail of men following her down the street. That's just rude. She adds that she can see the humor in it now, though it wasn't so funny at the time. It could have been so much worse, she says. What if the catfish had hit a child? It was not a fun experience, but there are so many worse things that could have happened. Yeah, maybe a whale dropped out of the sky and hit you in the face.

A great white shark, like a shark NATO? A hammerhead shark could have dinged you in the forehead? She goes on to say, it's probably one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me in my life. Yeah, I guess so. I think you have a better chance of being hit by life. lightning than getting hit with a flying catfish when you're in the middle of a major cosmopolitan city. I get it if you're near a lake or a river. Maybe there's a guy casting and he flings a fish onto the shore and you walk into it.

But walking down the street in a city? And by the way, what's an eagle or an Osprey doing flying over a city with a giant catfish? Wouldn't he have to be out in nature? that's what makes this a little bit of a mystery. She said she did a lot of fishing growing up in Colorado and still loves to fish, but this was the first catfish she's ever caught with her face. Oh, man, hilarious.

So there you go, folks. I hope you have helmets. I hope you have a catfish-proof umbrella. And just so you know, many of you might not know the anatomy of a catfish, but let me fill you in. A catfish is the fish with those big whiskers sticking out of its face, which a lot of people think are prickly and can hurt you, but they're not. They're very flimsy.

They're like, you know, bendable wire. But what is dangerous, the catfish, its pectoral fins, the fins right behind its gills, almost just behind its eyes. At the top of the catfish fins right there, there is a very hard bone that comes out. And it tapers at the tip to, it's like a nail or a needle. And one of the very precarious things about growing up on a lake when I was a little boy is we were always warned by our parents to be careful when we're walking.

or running down the beach not to step on a catfish because catfish would very often wash up, you know, as dead fish often do, every now and then a dead catfish would wash up on the shore and it would lay there its flimsy corpse just laying there. But this bone on its pectoral fin or one of its pectoral fins, and I think I've got the fin right, the fins that come out right behind the gills, I think those are the pectoral's, but I might be wrong. I'm not an ichthologist. I'm not a student of fish in an academic way.

So the pectoral might be the fin on the back. I can't remember. But the fins by the gills, okay? Come on, gang. God, you have to be so technical? Jesus Christ, they're the fins, for Christ's sake. Just can't you accept the fins behind the gills for Christ's sake? Jesus, God.

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So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harlan. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So anyways, what would happen is kids would run down, and every summer kids would run down and step on these dead fish carcasses and that fin would be sticking up

and go right through the soul of their foot like stepping on a nail on a board. Yes, and I know one of my sisters, I can't remember if it was my sister Tresa or my sister Megan, but I remember we were doing just that once. We were on a beach, running, playing, and yeah, ba-da-a-doo! She stepped right on a catfish bone fin

and it was horrible So my point is It's lucky that this fin with the bones Or one of the fins didn't like whack her in the head At 50 feet You gotta figure that catfish is flying You know probably 50 miles an hour Do you imagine if one of these

These nail-like fins went right through the person's skull And they were killed Or they were just walking around With a fish stuck to their face? flapping? So there you go. There's the crazy news story from the day. Catfish falls from sky.

Hits poor woman right in the face. Like I said, get your catfish helmets and have a nice walk. Cat, cat in French, chappo. His Spanish, El Gatto in a sombrero. And I'll take you something more. Now you listen to me, good. In German, a catarundus is my huts. Is that not a catahunt?

Yeah, that is a catter hood. Catterhood, catar hood. Yeah, that is a catter hood. And speaking of dangers in the cities, I mean, flying catfish is the least of your worries. How about these terrorist attempted, well, not attempted terrorist and attempted terrorist bombings in New York? just recently

where there's radicalized man, I was about to say gentlemen, I will never call a terrorist a gentleman, I'm even, you know, having trouble calling a person like that a man. But anyways, you know, as you know, if you've been watching the news, if you live on planet Earth,

do low, this idiot, this disgruntled human being who wants to kill innocent people detonated a pressure cooker, a crock pot and tried to detonate several other crockpots around the city. And 29 or 30 people were injured. Luckily, no one was killed.

And we just think it's a horrible situation. and we have a gentleman from a Dublin, Ireland calling in. This gentleman was in the military over in Ireland, and we thought we would pick his brain. He volunteered to call in, said he had some practical ideas about these types of bombs, and we thought, well, why not get him on the show, and, you know, have some common sense and loss. that can help us, you know, learn how to navigate through a future terror attack like this.

So, Roger, is he there? Barney, what is it? Barney O'Beenery, Barney O'Beenery from the Irish military. Let's get him on the line. But yeah, he's there? All right, put him through. Hello, Mr. O'Beenery. Are you there, sir?

Oh, hello, dear Mr. Williams. How are you, me? today, sir. I, good, this is Barney. Am I getting the name right, Barney O' Beanery? Ah, that's my name, don't wear it out, don't you know? Well, you sound a cheery. Well, I wouldn't tell me, it's a good day to be alive, isn't it?

Well, you know, I guess every day is a good day to be alive, yes, sir. So you did some time in the military in Ireland, sir, and you wanted to contribute your thoughts on how we can best get through a domestic terror attack, and albeit a primitive terror attack, where bombs are made with primitive supplies like cell phone timers and pressure cookers, or some people refer to them as crock pots. Ah, yes, the old crock pot, what would they do without it, Mr. Williams? Well, in this case, let me tell you what I think we need to do with the crook pot. I think the crock pot is a good idea.

I think the head was in the right place when this came about. I just think the execution was a little infable. Well, wait a minute, sir. The crock pot was a good idea? Well, there's a practical use for that kind of a bomb, a crock pot bomb, or a pressure cooker, if you will. Well, I don't see how there's a practical or a, quote, good use for a crock pot, sir. I mean, if you're using it to blow up the public and hurt and maim its citizens.

Well, I'm not talking about using it to hurt people. I'm talking about using the crockpot to help people, Mr. Williams. Well, what do you mean? A crock pot bomb to help people? Well, as you know, Mr. Williams, the crockport was originally designed to make delicious food. Okay, I can't argue. that, that's true, it is a cooking apparatus. And a delicious, delicious thing it makes.

It makes wonderful, wonderful foods. We'll be to join them most of our lives, am I correct? Well, yes, sir, but when you take a household item and use it to terrorize the communities, well, here's what I'm saying, Mr. Williams. Why not use that kind of a cooker cooker for good? Well, that's where you're confusing me, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, barney. I, I don't see how a pressure cooker bomb could be used for good. Well, let me tell you a few words, Mr. Williams.

Have you ever had yourself an ice delicious, hot Irish stew on a cold blindy evening, sir? Excuse me? A nice simmering stew that's been sitting in the crock pot, just roasting and chaining for Hours upon hours. Well, yes, I've had Irish do. So what if we put the croquot bombs in neighborhoods where people weren't as fortunate, where people couldn't get a bite to eat, with a homeless congregated? Well, wait a minute, what are you saying, sir?

What I'm saying is instead of filling these bombs with shrapnel and ball bearings and nails, the type of things you expressed earlier that hurt maim and kill. people. Wait a minute. I suggest we get the crock pots. We fill them full of a delicious Irish stew. We detonate them and blow Irish stew all over the neighborhood. Wait, what? Are you

talking about stuffing a crock pot bomb full of Irish stew and blasting it all over people that are homeless and can't find food to eat? Oh, thank you the delicious carrots. They're nice

tender beef. Oh, the peas, the gravy, the potatoes, Mr. Williams. Oh, we can't forget the potatoes. I'm sorry, what part of the military were you in, by the way? I was a chef. I was a chef at one of the military bases. I cooked for the boys. You were a, you're a military chef? That's sweet, Mr. Williams. Now, let's get back to the crook pot. Imagine it's a cold, frosty night. You're walking down the street, you've got a little bit of a pang in your tummy. You're thinking, oh, wouldn't I like a nice bean with bacon soup right now, or a nice clam chowder? What, sir, this is... And you're walking along, and all of a sudden you see a duffel bag at the side of the road or crock pot sitting in a garbage can.

Sir, this is a little obscure. And all of a sudden, kaboo, Mr. Williams. suddenly you're covering from head to tooth, bean and bacon soup and nice, hearty clam chowder. I don't know, just no, Mr. O'Beanery. This is kind of not a good use for a crock pot. I mean, we're talking about ISIS and people inspired by radical Islam who are using these to kill people. because they're bastardizing a religion.

I know, but wouldn't it be so much better to be blown up and have a nice chunk of sizzled lamb land on your face, and you can just reach up and peel it off and eat it. Oh, so chewy, Mr. Williams. I can almost taste myself chewing it right now. What are you doing, sir? Oh, I'm chewing the lamb in my mouth, Mr. Williams. Okay.

You know what, this is, uh, this is not how I intended this to go, uh, you know. Well, how about this, Mr. Williams? How about a pressure cooker crock pot bomb? Laying on the sidewalk, it's a nice frosty Thursday night. The snow's falling down. People are walking around celebrating Christmas and all of a sudden a wonderful crock pot bomb goes off and some delicious borsk is blown all over everybody's face. Borsk? That's right. Can I give you the recipe?

No, you can't give me the recipe. We're talking about terrorism. And I'm talking about a nice frothy borsk that blows up all over everyone. First, you put four cups of beef broshenk and a quartered onion in the crop pot. Bring it to a simmer, cover it, and lay a cook until the meat is,

falling off the bone, tender, tender, tender for about an hour and 30 minutes. Sir, we don't need a borsk recipe here. Remove the meat from the pot. Remove any bone connective tissue and excess fat. Mr. Williams, chirp up the meat, place it in the crock pot, and just let it just simmer, simmer away like a similing, simsimsymili, simsimsyroo. What does that even mean, sir? When the broth is ready, any chilled fat will have risen to the top,

and when the bomb goes off, when the cook pie explodes, this warm fat will blow all over the people walking in the street. Sir, I'm not going to let you turn a terrorist activity into a delicious event, okay? Just think of the broth and the carrots and the beets, and of course, the diced potatoes. Or just blowing all over every vegetables in their hair, chopped meat dripping down their face, cabbage, and fresh dill all over their bodies, Mr. Williams. Okay, sir, enough. Okay, I think you're missing the point.

You know, we're talking about a deadly epidemic that's happening here, and you're here talking about a crockery, pot, some kind of a meal. Let me give you the recipe for the bourge, Mr. Williams. Eight cups of beef broth or beef stock. No, no, no. One pound of

bone in the beef shake with a lot of meat on it, Mr. Williams. A lot of meat. Probably like meaty like your wife's ass. Sir, if you would not. One large onion peeled and quartet. I don't want to hear this recipe.

Four lovely long carrots. The kind of your wife would shove up inside. Sir, please. You can peel them or you could chop them. Sir, I'm not going to hear... One large roose potato, peeled and cut into half-inch cubes, two cups of thinly sliced cabbage,

three-quarters cup chopped fresh dew, stuff it in the crock pot. Sir, you're not going to make a food bomb. Three tablespoons of red wine vinegar. Mr. Williams. I'm hanging up, sir. One cup of sour cream, the kind you'd probably find

in your dirty and the pants. Sir, I'm hanging up. Some salt and freshly ground pepper. Just to cap it off. All right, hang up on him. Come on him, Mr. Williams. Come on him. Idiot.

Are you kidding? Oh, God. I'm talking about people dying, talking about terrorism. Is he gone? Good. Jeez, guy completely missed the point. Roger, how did you not screen this guy? How did you not know he was a chef in the army?

I thought we were getting like a munitions expert or a bomb maker or somebody that could shed some light. and we got a guy to telling us how to make clam chowder and telling us we should blow food all over the homeless people. Good Christ. You know what, let's go to a commercial. We'll be back. Idiot. I love white flowers.

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Letters, oh, we get letters. We get your letters every day. Mail, man, mailman, mail today. Reach right in and pull one out. Those letters, I love those letters. Let's find out what you've got to say. Oh, boy. Mailman, mail to-day.

Yes, yes, yes. We do get your letters. We do get your wonderful letters here at the Harlan Highway Podcast. If you want to send a letter, just go to Harlan Williams.com. And I wanted to read this letter because it pertains to some phone calls I played not too long ago. uh here's the uh the letter it's from a gentleman named john dunn from kansas city and by the way john and his crew came out to see me uh performing kansas city very recently and i just have to say first of all thank you for coming john brought a whole crew with him and uh it was it was absolutely

amazing john uh who's a big fan of the show and his friends they all dressed up like characters from the Harlan Highway podcast. I walked out on stage, and there in the front row was John dressed as Mr. Featherstone, my boss, and beside him was this wonderful woman who was dressed up like Dr. Debbie Timer, the life coach, and Barbecue Eddie was there, and it was just a whole collection.

I think Dr. Ascot was there. It was just a wonderful, it was like five or six people. I was so taken aback. and moved and touched by their wonderful effort. Thank you guys so much for coming out and dressing up as the characters. I mean, it's amazing how shockingly close they look to how I envision them in my mind. But anyways, John wrote a letter. I'd been talking a lot about the Garden Hose episode.

People have been calling in about it. It was my 500th podcast. And I did a podcast, I did a bit on it, a segment where I had reported that I had, you know, as an adult, I had drank from a garden hose. And when I drank from the garden hose, I had all these flashbacks that kind of took me back to being a kid. And John just recently sent me a letter about his experience and I wanted to read it to you. It says, Dear Harland, glad you had had a great time at Burning Man, I can't wait to see your video highlights. Yes, I will be putting a video out on that. In today's podcast, I heard about the water hose video. I wanted to give you the

email I had sent in after the 500 podcast, just so you have it again. So this is a letter that he had sent in before, and I will read it again. He says, I hope more people try the water hose time machine. I am very interested in what memories it will bring for different people. and here's John's older letter. I don't know if I read it before or not, but here it is. Harland, I heard your 500 podcast this morning on my way to work. I have a short story about me drinking from the garden hose a few weeks ago. I went to Minneapolis to visit my fiancé's cousin,

and one morning I ran five miles because I was training for a marathon. And when I got back, I was flipping hot as hell, and everyone was sitting out back having coffee, and I came through the sliding door. I immediately saw a hose right outside the door. Everyone said how drenched you are in sweat. I didn't say anything, and I turned on the hose and heard the water swish-washing through the hose, as you described it,

and wham, the first splash of water looking crystal clear shooting at my face. I drank ten big gulps, and then I put the hose above my head and started soaking myself. All the while I was immediately thinking about the first time I drank from a hose when I was probably five or six years old, playing tee ball in the backyard with my dad. It made me think about the old house we lived in and how we ate a lot of watermelon every summer. It made me think about that first 4th of July

that my dad let me light fireworks. It made me miss being a kid. As I was drinking the water from the hose, people were like, dude, we'll get you a glass of ice water. I was like, no, the hose is better. It was very cold. I know I will always be a kid deep at heart. Congrats on the 500th podcast.

Well, John, great letter, man. I mean, I almost missed it up just reading it. And when he says the 500th podcast, of course, he's referring to if you want to hear that podcast with the original garden hose story, it's at number 500. You might have to become a premium member to do it. because we only play the current 50 episodes. But anyways, the reason I wanted to read John's letter

is because all this talk from people like John and other people that had called in and wrote in about their water hose experience, it got my wheels turning even more as it pertained to my original podcast about the idea of a water hose being a time machine and taking you back. and so I said to you guys on the air a few weeks ago,

I said, you know, I'm inspired to the point where I think there's a short story here. I think I'm going to write a short story. I'm kind of moved by the, and inspired and kind of interested in the whole concept of of what would happen if you could really go back. And so cut to me like two weeks later, here I am, just today, just today, just hours ago, I finished the water hose time machine short story. And guess how long it is? I thought I'd do maybe 10, 11, maybe 20 pages.

70 pages. This story just took on a life of its own. I just got mesmerized by it, and I just kept writing and writing. And the places that the characters go when they drink from the water hose, it's intense. a very intense story with some lightness and some darkness and some drama and some, it kind of took me to a place I didn't expect it to go. And so as I promised, I want to share it with you guys, but obviously 70 pages is a lot. So what I think I'm going to do is I'm going to break it up.

And what I'll do is I'll try and read like 10 minutes every week on, you know, all the future podcasts. I don't know how long that will take. That could be 10, 20 episodes. And that way you're not inundated. If you don't like the concept, if you don't like the story, you can just speed past the 10 minutes. And if you do like it, you can listen to it. And I think what I'll also do just as a teaser to get people to join my premium membership, which I know you're going to love, I'm going to put the whole story on the premium account, ahead of time. So you'll hear the first 10 minutes and then 10 minutes and then 10 minutes of the water

hose story as we go along here from week to week. But if you can't wait, if you can't wait to get to the end, and I have a feeling once you hear like the first seven or eight pages, you're going to be like, oh my God, I can't wait. I've got to hear the end of this thing. I'm hoping it inspires you to join our premium membership for only 20. $20 a year, but these are the type of perks you get when you're a premium member. But aside from the premium business, I really had a great time writing it.

I want to thank all you pavement founders because you kind of lit a fire under my ass. You inspired me beyond my own segment that I did about it. It was the reaction I got from you guys that made me realize this wasn't something that just happened to me. the old drinking from the water hose actually did bring back memories for a lot of you and if you want to keep telling me those stories or writing or calling I'm very interested to hear them they're very sentimental and who knows what they are but so there you go a 70 page I don't even know if I can call it a short story anymore but I'm going to start reading it I might even try to do it by the next podcast.

I might throw the first 10 minutes out there on podcast 805, which is coming up on Monday, September 29th. And if I don't get it on that one, I will definitely, maybe we kick October off with the Time Machine water hose story. But like I said, if you want to get it, in advance. I will post it first up on the premium membership. So this could be a fun experiment or it could be a colossal bore and a waste of time. But regardless of what it becomes, I just had such a good time writing this story. I got sucked into it. There were days

when I couldn't stop writing. I was just, I thought, oh, I'll sit down and write two or three pages, which is a lot, you know, when you're making up a story in your head and cut to like 15, 20 pages later, I'm still there like, you know, this story's unfolding in my brain as I go. I don't know the ending of it. I'm not one of these guys that maps out a story beforehand. I don't sit there and go, okay, on page three, he's going to go through the door. On page 12, he's going to get in his car and crash. And on page 23, he meets a gorilla.

I don't do that because when I write, I find that kind of takes away the fun and the spontane for me. So what I do is I just start writing. And in this case, I just started with a guy picking up a hose, and I didn't even know what he was going to see when he did it. I didn't even know what was going to pop into my head, but I just kept following. I just kept following what the story was telling me. The story guided me, and that's why this was so fun for me, because this story unfolded

before my very eyes. It was almost as if someone else was. was telling me the story. And so I'm very excited to share it with you guys. See if it stimulates you. See if you like it. See if it resonates. Or whether you're just like, dude, you know, you really shouldn't be writing, dude.

I mean, you know, maybe stick to the podcast and even that's pushing it. You know, because that podcast is, you know, right on the fence of being anything, you know. So there you go. And that's the only letter I'm going to read today. Normally when I open the mailbag, I dip into a lot of letters, but this one kind of took a lot of time. So, John, thank you for sharing once again your garden hose story. Thank you to the rest of you that phoned in and wrote to me.

And also, John, and please tell the rest of the gang who came to the Kansas City improv, thank you for your impressions. Thank you for dressing up. You really put a twinkle in my heart, and I'm still laughing about it. So thank you so very much for doing that. Great people out there in Kansas, and hopefully we'll see you again the next time. So we'll end the show there, and yeah, we'll see what happens with the garden hose time machine short slash very long story. all right so let's do a few announcements here what are we got coming up oh my god i'm going to be in

pittsburgh pittsburgh pennsylvania uh let's see that's going to be this weekend gang uh september 30th right through to october the second hello the pittsburgh improv great comedy club uh go to harlom williams dot com you can reserve your tickets on my stand-up comedy tour link and then the fall following week, October 6th through the 9th, I'll be at the Mall of America at Rick Bronson's House of Comedy, right there in the mall. Oh my God, it's a great club, really fun. It's going to be awesome. And then what do we have after that? Coming later in October, towards the end of October, we will have San Jose, California. Oh, I love that city. I love that house.

the improv, October 20th to the 23rd, the improv. And then I'm going to give you a little hint, a little announcement later in October, October 28th. Yes, October 28th. One of my new cartoon series will be premiering. I won't tell you where yet, but I don't know if you're familiar with the video game. It's one of the biggest video games on the planet. It's called Skylanders. And it is coming as an animated series to you, and it is debuting October 28th.

I do a bunch of voices in this new cartoon. Oh, my God, I've seen some early footage. This thing looks incredible. It looks unbelievable. So I'll use Skylanders freaks. Get ready for that. I'll give you more details as we get deeper into October. But mark it October 28th.

So there you go. There you go. It's going to be fun. Thank you for listening. Tell your friends, please go on to harloweems.com. Check the comedy schedule. Also, check out our store. We've got great, great items for sale in the store.

You can write me at harlomwilms.com. Send me a letter the way John did. Or you can call me. Leave me a voicemail. 3-23-739-43-3-3-3-3-3-9-4. 433.30. And don't forget to sign up for your premium membership. You can do that at harloweems.com. Click on the app link or the podcast link and it will direct you on how to do that 20 bucks a year. A really good deal, I dare say. And also don't forget finally our app. You can get

our free app in your app store, the Harland Highway podcast app. Just type in the Harland Highway in your app store and you will get it absolutely free you get the latest 50 episodes absolutely free and then everything there from there on down you can join premium membership

so there you go that's it watch out for crockpots on the side of the road and until next time chicken chau-main baby Christmas new day