The Harland Highway - 817 - Aunt Ruthy votes. The ELECTION RESULTS. Crazy news story.

Episode Date: November 10, 2016

Harland responds to the election results. Aunt Ruthy has trouble at the voting booth. Crazy truck news story! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Yes, this is the show that sums it all up. The election has happened. Welcome to the Harland Highway. I'm Harland Williams. This is the Harland Highway podcast. The election has happened. We have a winner.

I'm going to talk about that said election and that winner and that loser. Towards the end of the show, I had a number of phone calls from you pavement pounders that wanted to get my thoughts and my feedback. I will be very candid with you. I saved it to the end of the show. It's about like half an hour of me rambling. But I figured some people don't like it when I talk about politics, so I tacked it on near the end.

So if you want to tune out, you can. And if you're interested, you can keep listening. But most of my comments were based off of questions you guys asked me about the political race. So there you go. Also, Aunt Ruthie calls in. And I guess Aunt Ruthie had some issues at the voting booth this year with Uncle Harry. She left me a voicemail.

I don't know what it's all about, but Roger tells me things did not go well. We're going to take Aunt Ruthie's voicemail. And then a crazy news story. You've heard about all these driverless cars. Well, way to you hear about this, a driverless 18-wheeler. And way do you hear what this thing was hauling across the country? It's crazy. But it always is, because this is the harlons.

Highway. Where are I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What are you talking about words? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck.

Oh, God, what's happening here? What's happening? Hey, Harland, it's Shelby. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is that.

That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway. What is it? Opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man.

You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Well, I guess we have a new president. Oh my God. Glory, glory. Hallelujah. I don't know if you guys went out and voted. um i know i voted and um you know i don't know if the process was was fun or good for everybody but i

understand according to my producer roger that i guess my aunt ruthy is upset because her and my uncle harry went out to vote at one of the voting booths and i guess i don't from what roger tells me the voicemail sounds like the voting process for process for my aunt Ruthie did not go so good. So, Roger, let's, I just almost, everything seems to go wrong for her. Let's play her message and see what happened, and then we can talk more about the election. Oh, God. Play it, Roger.

Hello. Hello, Hall. Hello. Oh, my God. I don't know how these things break. Hall, are you there, little angel? It's your aunt Ruthie crawling from Rochester. to New York. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Holland. I had to call you. We had a little bit of a situation

when your uncle Harry and I went to vote. Oh, my God. Well, you know, your uncle Harry his memory isn't as good as it used to be, Angel. You know, he sometimes has flashbacks, and he can't remember his name or who he is or where he's going. You know, it's sometimes he's good. And other days, he's, you know, he's like a, you know, a bald koala walking through a hair plug factory. You know, he just doesn't know where to do things. And so he was wandering around. He went into vote. I went into my stall, you know, to put my vote down, my little, you know, you know how it works.

You get the magic marker and you fill in the, you have to cover the little hole and whatnot, Angel. I'm not sure who you voted for. I know you live down there in the Hollywoods, making your TVs and your movies. Oh, my God, you're such an angel. You're probably voting for Hillary because that's what everyone in Hollywood does. They all follow each other like retarded sheep walking into a helicopter blade, you know. But anyways, Angel, so your uncle Harry, he wandered into his voting stall, of course. And, you know, I thought everything was okay.

He walked in there, and I walked into mine. and all of a sudden I hear some screaming and a kerfuffle and everyone's running around and going berserk. And I see Uncle Harry, your Uncle Harry walks out of his voting stall with his pants down around his ankles, his underpants is, you know, his 89-year-old penises hanging there like a woolly mammoth just got dug up from a glacier or something. You know, it just looks rotten and discolored,

and the mushroom cap looks like, you know, someone gave a black eye to a nun, for Christ's sake. So anyhow, well, Uncle Harry walked out, and if everyone's running around, and it turns out your uncle Harry had one of his memory lapses, and he thought the voting stall was a bathroom stall, for Christ's sake. And so Harry, oh, my God, I don't know how to say this, I'm so embarrassed for our family, little angel,

your uncle Harry took a Boston steamer right on the floor in his voting booth. guess he crouched down and thought he was in a bathroom stall, and nature called, and I guess Harry opened up his, you know, second mouth below the belt and dropped a, you know, Lincoln log all over the voting booth floor, for Christ's sake. Oh, my God, I couldn't believe it. So now Harry's walking out, and he's complaining. He goes, this bathroom tissue is too rough. It hurts my crack. And this is what he said out loud to people, Angel. He said, it's very rough. It needs to be softer.

It hurts my crack. And, you know, one of the people working there, one of the wonderful volunteers, the election volunteers, they ran up and grabbed what was in Harry's hand. And they said, you know, Mr. Sir, whatever they called him, they said, that's your vote. You've just wiped your bottom with your vote. You know, they put the vote on the piece of paper there. Your ballot. It looks like your uncle Harry wiped his bottom with his ballot, for Christ's sake. And now Harry's all confused, and he's like, what the hell?

I want to vote for Trump. I came here to vote for Trump. I took a dump, and I voted for Trump. And they said, well, wait a minute, sir. And they looked at Harry's ballot, which he thought was, you know, the toilet paper, of course, the crazy old fuck. And, of course, they looked to see what name Harry had covered. And Christ in heaven, I kind of blame myself. I made a wonderful garden salad last night, Holland, for dinner.

And I guess when your uncle Harry wiped his ballot, I guess according to what got stuck over Hillary Clinton's name. And according to the election rules, it's whatever name you cover is the one you legally have to vote for. So now Harry's walking around with his pants down, his master Don Tusk hanging down between his legs. You know, there's a giant pile of cacao on the floor in his voting stall. The place is starting to smell, and Harry's put a carniblet over Hillary Clinton's name, and by default, he's accidentally voted for Hillary, which really sent Harry into a tizzy, and there was screaming and fighting, and oh, my God, Holland, Little Angel. I just didn't know what to say.

I didn't know what to do, and so we're all mixed up, and, you know, we screwed up the vote, and Harry's mad as hell that he voted for Hillary because he wanted to vote for Trump and he took a dump and he screwed it all up and I feel bad that I made that delicious garden salad that had olives and corn and oh my God Angel do you remember when you were a little boy and we spent the summer up at the cottage angel

do you remember that? Oh my God it was so fun and your aunt Ruthie asked you if you wanted a salad and you said in your little boy boys I think you were four years years old. You said, Aunt Ruthie, only turtles eat salad. Do I look like a turtle? And I remember I just gave you a big kiss on the side of your cheek. You were cute as a little Chinese dildo resting on a window ledge. I mean, just wonderful, wonderful. Anyways, doll, oh my God, Harry's yelling at me in the background. He's still upset. He keeps walking around the house saying Hillary can suck a vibrator. And I don't even know what a vibrator is, but Harry seems adamant about it.

I better go, Angel. I hope you win your election. Whoever you voted for. I give you Rand Murphy loves you no matter what. Okay, Angel. Bye, love. Oh, we miss you so much. Bye, Angel.

Oh, little Holland. Bye, goodbye, Angel. Whoa. Whoa. Did she say a corn nibblit? Jesus, God, that woman, she has some of the weirdest luck. Poor Uncle Harry, he got, poor guy gets worse all the time. He's just so mixed up. Oh, boy.

Well, before we get too deep into the election, because I do want to talk about the results. I figure, you know, people get fired up about the results. Half the country's happy. Half the country's probably sad. And, you know, I figured to just diffuse the tension, defuse the anger. Let's just play a funny, crazy news story just to kind of settle everyone down. And then we'll kind of segue into the election results and kind of talk about how it all.

went down. So, Rodge, for now, let's just do a crazy news story and then we'll move on, okay? The Harland Highway. Crazy news story. That's weird. Wow. That's strange stuff. I think you're crazy. All right, here it is. Here's the juicy headline. I think you're going to dig this one. This made me laugh. um self driving truck makes first trip a 120 mile beer run what the hey who yeah so as you know like you know they're starting to make all these self driving vehicles with no drivers right with you know the world's going to look a lot different out on the roads like five years from now okay there's going to be like there's going to be like nutty nutty nutty stuff going on. There's going to be a lot of vehicles with no one behind the wheel. So this is the

beginnings of it. In San Francisco, if you're sipping a Budweiser somewhere in Colorado Springs, you just might have a robot to thank for that thirst quenching brew. Last week, self-driving truck startup, Otto teamed with Anheuser-Busch to successfully deliver a semi-tractor full of beer from Fort Collins through Denver and onto the southern Colorado City in the shadow of Pike's Peak. Wow, that's a long journey, man. Now this truck, I'm looking at a picture of it. It's like an 18-wheeler, full-blown 18-wheeler.

For the majority of that 120-mile trip, the truck's driver left his seat and observed the road from the comfort of the sleeper berth. what the hell so we're talking about a full 18 wheeler full of brew and the truck driver got out of his seat and went up if you don't know what a birther is

that's like the cabin in the back where they have their bed and their TV and when they pull over to the truck stops they sleep back there what the hell an auto video of the drive shows the slightly disconcerting image of a massive 53-foot trailer filled with 2,000 cases of bud rumbling down the I-25 with no human in the cab.

Oh, my God. See, maybe not the smartest choice for making this kind of a maiden voyage. You're talking about driving a giant truck full of beer through beer country where there's a lot of country folks and blue collar workers who love to guzzle Budweiser and there's nobody behind the wheel can you say carjacking can you say truck jacking can you say drunk tailgate party on the side of a major freeway i mean good lord you're just that's like leaving your house unlocked and putting a stack of money on your living room floor. That'd be like the pied piper.

Remember that guy that blew the flute and all the rats followed them? All the mice and all the rodents followed them through the city. Could you imagine the convoy of rednecks following the driverless Budweiser truck? Oh man, we got us a combo, boy, boy. Oh, we got us a truck full of. We got 2,000 cases of beer, man. Ain't nobody in that truck. Oh, we're going to partay.

Partay at the next off ramp, Cecil. Oh, you got it, Otis. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No, yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex.

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This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Holy smoke. So it says Auto's truck technology is at present confined to highways and humans take over in city traffic. Otto and Anheuser-Butch, which announced the news Tuesday plan additional real-world autonomous truck drives in the months ahead. Well, do you mind? Could you get one?

of those armored vehicles with all the money in them and don't put anyone in them? That would be real nice. Just drive it right past my house. I promise I won't, you know, put something on the road and make it to drive off into my driveway where I loot it. Quote, it says the initial appeal for us was to see how we could meet the needs of a company like Anheiser Bush, The co-founder of Auto told USA Today, but now after this successful test, we're eager to see how it will handle other roads and other weather. Yeah, that's what you want in the middle of the winter. A driverless 18-wheeler sliding down the road at you.

At least when it, you know, crushes you and your legs are pinned. Hopefully the beer's dripping out into your open mouth. The auto landmark stands in stark contrast to the ongoing self-driving car test by Google, Uber, and Ford in California, Arizona and other states that require a safety driver to remain at the wheel in case of emergencies. At present, states offer self-driving tech companies a patchwork of laws that in time, the highway traffic safety administration is hoping to corral into a cohesive, autonomous car policy.

So maybe one day we'll have a set of laws across the United States where everything falls under the same umbrella for these driverless cars. In Colorado, the Department of Transportation worked with Auto for a number of months evaluating the company's technology and joining on-test runs before agreeing to let a semi roll along without a driver in the cab. That is a little freaky, man. I mean, what a sign of the times, right? Can you imagine if a day comes where there's no truck drivers?

I mean, it's just weird, man. Can you imagine the day when we don't have to drive? I can imagine a day when it's probably going to be illegal to drive. Another quote here, safety remained our primary concern, but we believe that in this case the driver is the automated system itself. To help ensure that the state leads the way in coming transportation revolution, we'd like to help get this tech deployed in the real world.

Auto, which was founded earlier this year by Google Car Veterans, was bought by Uber last August for $670 million. Uber is boosting its self-driving tech initiative with Lennondowski now in charge of leading the ride-hailing Giants charge. Well, that's interesting. Uber, man. Who knew that Uber was going to become such a factor? The concept behind Auto is produced an aftermarket kick comprised of radar and camera sensors

that when harnessed to proprietary software will allow the nation's 350,000 owner-operated truckers to keep their trucks on the road longer without cutting into their carefully monitored driving time. Uber's interest in cornering the trucking market doesn't need much explanation. In 2015, trucking brought in 726 billion in revenue and accounted for 81% of all freight transport according to the American Trucking Association.

Wow, that's a lot of money. Trucking industry advocates remain concerned about the technology's ability to decipher every road emergency and the danger of having a driver resting or even sleeping while a truck is at highway speeds. For Anheiser Bush, a global spirits joggernaut valued at $213 billion, the appeal of the partnership was to see if we could help pioneer technology that will make the jobs of those shipping products easier and safer. Well, that makes sense. They say the company's beer travels an estimated 450 million miles a year to its various destinations. Anheuser-Busch doesn't own any trucks, but rather contracts with 300 trucking companies nationwide. And then lastly, this is a bit of a long story, but it's pretty interesting. Lastly, we like the prospect of those folks traveling safer in trucks that help improve environment,

impact through increased gas mileage he says there's no question in our mind that transportation companies will want to make these improvements hey man yeah if you can cut down on on all you know any type of emissions and you can improve the safety i mean a lot of people get killed every year in these you know when they get into collisions with these big trucks and truck drivers don't have the easiest life. I mean, these guys sit behind the wheel and they're probably not that healthy because, you know, they're always driving. They don't get to walk around and exercise as much. A lot of times they stop and eat fast food. So who knows, it's going to change everything, man. There you go. So next time you're driving down the road and you see an 18

wheeler with no, you know, no driver, don't turn into like shaggy and be like, like, it's the Haunted Budweiser trucks goob. Uh-oh. It's just the future, gang. Cheers. Well, what do you know? A ham sandwich. One cheeseburger with everything coming up.

Hello? Hello? In the next president of the United States is Donald J. Trump. and I'm so excited I just can't hide it I'm about to lose control congratulations I'm really excited and I'm sure you are too

until next time chicken chalmane baby well there you go congratulations to me congratulations to everyone congratulations to those who voted to those who voted for Donald Trump and as you know

I was one of the guys that said he was going to win right from the very beginning. I was one of the guys that stood by them through thick and thin. And I know some of you that hate him and hate Hillary and maybe hate me. I told you so. And, you know, do I deserve to get to gloat a little bit? Yeah. Just like if you're a person at one, you would get. a little right to gloat.

There's nothing wrong with gloating. It was a hard race. It was a long race. It was a contentious race. It was a good race. It was a horrible race. It was all those things. But I made a call, and I stood by it right till the end, that Donald Trump would

persevere. And I laid out my reasons. I told you that America was built on the back. of mavericks and wild men and people with big, broad, crazy visions, and that Americans are attracted to that type of dreaming, that type of ingenuity, that type of vision, and Donald Trump represented that. I've also gone on record saying I don't agree with everything Donald Trump stood for or believes in, but a lot of it I do, obviously. And, you know, for all of you that think the world

is going to end and mushroom clouds are about to go off, relax. Okay, give the guy a chance, just the way we gave George Bush a chance, just the way we gave Barack Obama a chance, just the way we give all the presidents a chance. Here's the good news for all of you that are really upset and angry and hating right now. Okay? I hope this is unilateral, universal good news. America, the United States of America, is built on the belief and the dream that anyone can do anything they want in America. Anyone in the United States, any American can become anything they and often the reference to that is if you live in the United States and you're an American, you can become the president of the United States one day.

They say that to poor white kids. They say it to hillbillies. They say it to black kids. They say it to Asian kids. They say it to Latino kids. It doesn't matter. If you're American, anyone is allowed to believe in this dream. They're allowed to chase this dream.

and they're allowed to attain this dream. And for anyone out there to say that Donald Trump is not allowed, well, then that's just wrong. If he's an American and he has a dream and he has the wherewithal and the will and the power and the hunger and the desire and the passion to chase that dream and he gets there, I got to say, how dare anybody to slap that time?

down. Because if you slap that down, you're slapping down what it represents to be American. Now, you may not agree with him. You may not like him, but I don't think anyone in the United States is allowed to knock him down. Look at the beauty of the United States. The United States went from a land of slavery to electing a black president. And that's a show. That's a show. example of just how giving and wonderful and beautiful this country is. And I don't care if you're a circus clown or a porn star or a plumber or an actor like Ronald Reagan was or a peanut farmer like like Jimmy Carter was. It doesn't matter.

That is the magic of this country. And if a big loudmouth rough around the edges business. tycoon billionaire won the presidency, you should all rejoice and be reminded that we are fortunate enough to live in a country that allows that, that lets that happen, that lets the people decide no matter who or what you are, the people decide. And there's always going to be people that are unhappy and don't want it and don't agree with it. But to say things like you're going to leave the country and I hope someone assassinate them and everyone's an asshole, you're denying yourself and you're denying all the other people

in this country, the American dream. Now, case and point, I've told you this, I really wanted a Barack Obama the first time he ran. That's, could I have voted back then, I would have voted for Barack Obama. I watched him in action for four years, and the second time around, I couldn't wait to get him out. I didn't like what he did. He didn't show me that he had the goods. That's just me. But I was willing to vote for him based on who he was, what he represented, what he told me. And then I changed my mind. And this time around, I went for the big braggadocious out there. giant personality, outrageous Donald Trump. And let's give him a chance.

Let's see what he can do. Maybe he'll surprise you. Do you have to nail his coffin shut without even giving him a chance? You know, there's a difference between someone who's in the middle of a fight, which Donald Trump was, believe me, he was in a big fight. He was in a ring with three contenders, okay? Hillary was in the ring with one contender. Hillary was in the boxing ring with Donald Trump.

Donald Trump was in the boxing ring with Hillary Clinton and her giant political machine. Also in that ring against him was the media. If you haven't come to the conclusion that the mainstream media had it in the bag for Hillary, you're in denial. It's very obvious. And if you couldn't see it with your own eyes, you can certainly see it in the wiki.

leaks releases. And here's the most vile and disgusting part. Donald Trump was also in the ring against his own party. A huge block of his own party, his own supporters, his own team were working against him. The Donald, never Donald movement, Mitt Romney, the last presidential candidate for the Republican Party coming on TV. and disavowing Donald Trump, saying he's a scumbag and a loser and he can never win and he'll never be president and he's a con man and John Kasich, the selfish, greedy John Kasich, the governor of Ohio, who made a pledge to support whoever the nominee was and selfishly backed away, put his own selfish needs and desires and morals.

and all the rest of it, ahead of what the country wanted. He refused to vote for Donald Trump. John McCain refused to vote for Donald Trump. Paul Ryan, the Speaker of the House, who called Trump a racist and barely showed up to support him. And all the other people, all the other Republicans that didn't want the cage rattle, didn't want the system disrupted, didn't want their way of, of doing things upset.

And you know what I say? Fuck them. Fuck all of them because we don't have a government to serve the government. The government was instituted to serve us. And I think that's what Donald Trump recognized is that the government isn't serving us anymore. And I'm sorry, Hillary was part. of that whole program. And so were the main players in the Republican Party.

And Donald came up and said, enough. And all the people lined up behind them and said, yeah, you're fucking right. Enough. We can't take it anymore, man. Nothing's getting done. Nobody's building anything. Nobody's doing anything. So the people made their choice.

and so you got to respect it and so you know that's what i'm talking about here we're we're talking i'm not even really gloating i'm just kind of kind of spelling out what happened but let me gloat a little bit i'm happy i called it and i'm i'm proud that i called it hey harland bobby wheeler belinda florida hey congrats on the wind uh i have a lot of respect for you sticking to your guns I know that in California and especially Hollywood, everyone's all Hillary. So for you to stick with Trump despite all the criticism and everything. That's really cool. I wasn't really for Trump, but I can see that point of view as well.

So anyways, I like hearing your political views. I think it's an interesting side to you. and thanks for sharing. Chicken dummy. Well, Bobby, thank you very much. That's a very gracious call. You said in your call that you weren't for Trump, you were for Hillary. And it takes a big person to offer congratulations.

And I appreciate that civility because that's the kind of civility I extended to people who were rooting for Hillary here in Hollywood, which is you are right. I think just about everyone I know here was rooting for Hillary. And what really saddened me is that I offered the kind of respect that you just offered me to everyone I know here. If you were rooting for Hillary, I respected that. I didn't name call. I didn't challenge your intelligence. I didn't make you feel bad. I was like, okay, cool.

I actually wanted to hear why you love. liked somebody. I was never mean or disrespectful or spiteful or anything like that. And here's the problem that really made me sad is, you're right. I was the only guy I know in Hollywood that stood up for Trump and right out of the gate voted for Trump. And you know what? I had to make America great hat I would wear around town. And I wore it on stage a few nights when I did stand up comedy. That's right. I put my money where my mouth was. And sadly, many of the Hollywood people I know, and even more sadly, many of my Hollywood friends were a little bit vicious. I had close personal friends refer to me as an asshole and a retard. I had a few friends. Uh,

continue hanging out with me or associating with me. I had gangs of people in social settings gang up on me, but I'm not one to back down. You know, I knew at a social gathering at a party or whatever that I would be the only one to say I support Trump, and I said it proudly. And I knew the shitstorm would hit me when I spoke out. And I was like, bring it. Who are you to tell me what to think? Who are you to tell me who to vote for?

Who are you to mock me and knock me down? This is the United States of America. If I want to vote for a fucking raccoon, I will. And I was disheartened by the amount of... I don't know. I guess the vitriol that people had. the tone people took with me it wasn't just friendly as I always tried to be

or it's like oh interesting okay you like Hillary why with me it was like you're a fucking idiot what's wrong with you oh my god you know rolling the eyes and you know dismissing me as a moron and you know all these things and I just let it roll because I have a thick skin and like I said in the back of my head I kind of knew

and here's a little gloating I knew I was right I said right from the beginning Trump was going to win. And so to me, a lot of these people just seemed like, pardon the term, windbags where they were just kind of rolling out the traditional stuff, and I would just kind of let it fly over my head and let them air it all out and name call and, you know. And in the back of my head, I just sat there calmly going, okay, well, keep going, because, you know,

I think I know how this is going to play out. No, I didn't have a crystal ball, but I just held true to my beliefs and my convictions. And I guess the problem with Hollywood, and maybe in a lot of places, is you get a pack mentality. And you get people glamming on to something, not because they understand the politics. They glam on because they think it's cool. They don't want to feel like outsiders. They don't want to be singled out of the pack. They're too insecure.

And so they're not glaming on to a candidate based on what they really believe. They're glaming on to something because they know that it'll keep them popular within the mob. And that they won't be singled out and they don't have to undergo any scrutiny and they don't have to be shamed and they don't have to be ridiculed and mocked. They're safety in numbers. And I'm a very avid news watcher. I'm very interested in politics. And so I like to think I was fairly well informed. And I watched CNN. I watched MSNBC. I watched Fox. I read. I read articles online. I read articles in papers. I'm not saying I'm a political scholar, but I feel like I was pretty well informed of both sides. And to be honest, I felt like a lot of of the times the people that were coming at me were not well-informed. They basically picked up on a lot of tag phrases like, oh, it's the Russians, oh, he's a communist, oh, he's a racist,

oh, he's a homophobe, you know, all these little catchphrase, oh, he's a pervert. But they were always things that were, it was always propaganda. It was always propaganda put out by Hillary's side versus, you know, any real deep, meaningful discussion about who the man is and what he offers and what he can contribute. And, you know, it was always very surfacy I found a lot. So I would kind of tune out to a degree because I'm not saying that I know everything. I don't. But I don't know.

Have you ever been in a talk with someone and you know they don't know what they're, saying, or they don't have all the facts, but they're so passionate that they're going to keep coming at you. Let's say, for example, you got into an argument with an astronomer who knew everything about the stars. You knew about the galaxies and the cosmos, and he just knew all the planets and all the star clusters. And then someone came along who was, you know, had a telescope and looked at the moon a few times. And that person started trying to tell the guy who was an astronomer all about the galaxy.

And you're like, well, wait a minute. So the guy from the galaxy, instead of being rude, just kind of tunes out and lets the person talk until they run out of gas. Now, not to say that I know everything and I always knew everything more than anyone else, but let's be honest. Sometimes you can tell when a person is familiar. familiar with the talking points on the news, or they have an in-depth knowledge of a topic or a world that, you know, you're conversing about.

And so with politics, you often bump into people that don't have a deep breadth of knowledge about the person that they're rooting for. And so I did run into a lot of this hostility, and I worked my way through it. But to the other point about Hollywood, you know, all these celebrities and all these people that say they're going to move away if Trump wins, it's just so petty and so schoolyardish. It's like, it's almost like, oh, you're so deep. Wait, you're an actor. You did a comedy movie and you did a drama and you did a musical. Oh, I see.

You memorize lines and then you say them on film and you're a movie person. By the way, that's what I do, so I'm not talking out of my ass. I know that world. But somehow you're so much deeper. You're so socially pained

by your opponent winning that you've got to move to another country to lead the rest of the dumb world. Show them how committed. you are and how much deeper your wisdom is and how much richer your intelligence is that you you've got to pick up and leave leave your country in protest because what happened is just intolerable and and the world's going to end you're so you're so deep no you're just a pretentious buffoon you're a moron you're an attention-seeking asshole that thinks you're

so much deeper and wiser than everyone else. And to see these people like these John Stewart's and these actors and actresses that are so pretentious and go on the talk shows and have that look in their eye and talk to you like, oh, they know so much. And they know how bad it's going to be if the other person wins. And they're so, they're stars, so they're allowed to say that the other. person's a Nazi and the other person's the devil and the other person's the antichrist and the other person is an idiot and a moron who are you who are you john stewart who are you all these

fucking people that you know katie perry and you know katie perry sings i kissed a girl and i liked it oh i better follow her lead there's a genius myly Cyrus. Here's a girl that goes on global television and twerks with her tongue hanging out. Boy, I better follow that lead. I better leave the country because of her. You know, Samuel Jackson and all these people. We'll fucking leave. Do us a favor and leave. We don't need your pretentiousness. I'm glad I'm glad Jay-Z and Beyonce did a big concert to try and sway the pliable young minds of America's youth to force

their beliefs onto other younger minds. Thank you, Bruce Springsteen, for your five-hour concert telling us how shit everything is. Thank you, Bon Jovi. Boy, you're so... I better listen to a guy

with long hair who sings about being a cowboy on a steel horse I ride. Oh, that guy's got the fucking answers. Gee, Saturday Night Live, you're so funny and reverent. Oh, you've got it all figured out a bunch of drunk sketch actors. Boy, geniuses. I mean, and what bothers me is the smugness and the pretentiousness that they all walked around like they were so right.

And they tried to make everyone else feel like an idiot or an asshole for liking the alternative. of. And to me, that's just shameful behavior. That's, that's, that's, that's like degrading. That's like looking down on people. And I think that's part of the reason why, why Hillary lost. I think the attitude of the celebrity said and the elitist and all these pompous people and the rich people in, and Hillary's party, and all these, all these fucking snotty-nosed people that, that, that, that think they, they were so, righteous. I think the rest of the country, the majority of the country looked at and says, who the hell are you, man? I'm just going to work every day at the car dealership, trying to make a living. I'm just trying to put my little boy through soccer camp. I just want a new,

I just want a new boat for the cottage so I can go fishing. Who are you to make me feel like garbage? And so there's a real level. And so there's a real level. of this pretentiousness that, you know, in Hollywood, it's very strong. And I think it bled out through the whole party. And, you know, I'd like to see what Saturday Night Live skid is this Sunday or this Saturday, you know. Let's see how smug they are now. Let's see that cockiness. We've already got it in the bag attitude.

Let's see how that looks now. Nice try. Get the hell over yourselves and let people make their own decisions. Trying to make people feel like they're less than you because they're not on board with your opinion or your point of view is not cool, man. And I think that's the sentiment that the reason I'm saying all this is because that's the sentiment I got throughout this whole election. And I could be wrong. You could challenge this, but this was my experience.

This is what I felt. I felt that, like, Republicans were a lot more tolerant and accepting of the Hillary Cloud. Of course, they object to it at rallies and stuff like that. But on a social level and on a social media level, I felt like Republicans were a lot more tolerant. and the Democrats were very vitriolic towards anyone shooting for Trump and they were kind of mean-spirited

and condemning you and making you feel like you were a bad person and that's not your right to do that, man. That's not your place. This is America. People should be free to say what they want. I'll tell you what. on stage a few times at a few clubs in Hollywood, sold out houses. And this happened a number of times where I asked the crowd, I said, how many people here are voting for Hillary and the whole

room erupted? And then I said, how many people here are voting for Bernie and some erupted? And then I asked how many here are voting for Donald Trump? And nobody clapped. And this is real. Nobody clapped. And I stopped my show and I looked at the crowd. I said, are you telling me in a room of 300 people, not one person is voting for Donald Trump. I said, I don't believe it. And I said, I'm going to ask it again. And I asked again, and still no one put up their hand. And then I got kind of mad. And I said, come on, folks. There's got to be somebody here. Don't be afraid. This is America. And finally, after goading them three times, some people put up their hands. And it made me sad that they were afraid. They had been shamed. They had been ashamed. They had been

intimidated into not standing up and demonstrating where their affiliation lied. And that's not America, man. That's not the way it should be. And so I think there needs to be tolerance on both sides. There has to be patience and understanding and let Americans make their own choices without being harassed about it. Now, I know this is getting a little long-winded here, but it's been a long year and a half, and, you know, I've even had people call in and write into my show saying I'm an asshole, and they're going to leave, not listen to my podcast anymore because of my, you know, my support of Donald Trump. And, you know, you've heard me air out my laundry on the show. It makes me sad that people would want to, you know, leave the show or not listen to the podcast just because of, you know, where I stand, but at the same time, I've never told, you know, anyone listening what they have to do or who they have to support. I have shared my opinions, but I've never, you know, bullied anyone into doing anything they didn't want or chastised them for, you know, not

picking the same person I'm supporting. But let me, let me, let me, do one more little segment here, since this is a big day, this is a big event. I know I'm going on a little long, so I'll talk about it a few more minutes. Let's listen to one more phone call, and then I'll end up. I'll conclude my whole Donald Trump election segment. And you won't have to hear about it for another four years. Dude, you're in the belly of a beast, the middle of Hollywood, and the People's Republic of California.

and you still were able to call it for Donald Trump from the beginning. That is what you call independent thought. And your independent thought is backed up by your conviction and ultimately is what happened. I'm interested in how your observation of your own father in politics may have given you any insight into this or how you're able to get the insight is just an interesting story at this point, I think. how were you able

to see through it all? Um you know I bought into it now I'm prophetic now my friends

see me as a great prophet but you talked me out of the ledge on Trump to begin with wow proud of being American tonight

maybe we can save this country who's really worried what would happen if he did not win but it is actually exciting at this point reminds me of

Reagan's win give us your thoughts tell us more all right Brian you got it, man. Thank you for the phone call. It is an exciting time. And one thing Trump offers is that, you know, regardless of whether you like him or not, you are definitely going to have an interesting president. You can't deny that. When he comes on the news, I think most people are going to be riveted. I think not only in the United States, but around the world, wondering what he's going to

say, what he's going to do. And hopefully, hopefully Donald Trump now wears the jacket of a president. It's one thing to claw and fight your way, as I talked about earlier. He was in the ring against three different opponents. And here's a guy who's a fighter. He's a scrapper. And he hits back. And, you know, he had to say and do what he had to do to win that fight.

You ever hear that saying when you're in a schoolyard fight? it's like if you have to kick him in the balls to win do it you know what i mean because you know sometimes you got a guy that's bigger than you or nastier than you and they say look you got to come out of there and you got to survive so if you got to kick that big dude in the balls to knock him down and win that fight do it and so trump did what he had to do and he was nasty and he was rough around the edges and he was inappropriate and he was vulgar and he was maybe sometimes politically incorrect and insensitive. But come on, man.

He had a lot of stuff stacked up against him. He had 17 other candidates running against him in the primaries. He had the media running against him in the finals. He had Hillary on her huge political machine. He had his own party running against him. I mean, this guy had to go UFC. This guy had to, like, kick and punch and chokehold and trip and judo chop. And that's what you do when you're in the ring.

But when you've won the fight, and the fight is over, you hold up the belt high, and you're a different person. You walk over and you congratulate and hug your bloody opponent, and you walk around like a champion. Fighting in the ring is different than walking in the street after you've won the fight. And I'm hoping, I'm banking on, and I could be wrong, that Donald Trump, realizes he's intelligent enough to realize the gravity of what's happened to him. And he gets that he's probably the most powerful man on planet Earth and goes, okay, the fight is over. Now I've got to step it up. Now I got to change my fight, my activity,

the way I present myself, the way I word things. We hope that he can do that, but not lose his spunk, not lose his energy and that sparkle in his eye and that, that, that, that fighting spirit. Because you don't want to lose what you elected him for, but you want him to realize that now he carries the voice of all of us. And you want that to be respectful and intelligent and smart and hopefully he is brilliant enough to step into the role of being the president. We'll wait and see. But even if he does. step into the role just the way he's wired, you can tell that Donald Trump will phrase things and word things and do things his own way. And I'll go back to it. That's what makes America

great because it's called character. And we're full of character. America's full of character. That's where Charlie Chaplin came from. That's where Brad Pitt came from. That's where Elvis Presley came from. That's where Jimmy Carter and President Nixon came from. That's where everyone's cut from their own character. And if there's one thing we do in America is we applaud and embrace and if

he steps up, if he fucks up, if he steps on a bunch of landmines and blows it, then he's going to have to deal with it and we'll get him out of there. But hopefully all these attributes he has that may seem quirky

and unconventional all accumulate into the perfect storm, and he becomes a dynamic, refreshing, powerful leader. Let's hope. Now, to Brian's question, my father was a politician. I was very close to politics. I grew up in a household. My whole childhood was I was surrounded by a father who rose through the political ranks to a very high position.

He became a minister in Canadian politics, which is the same as a senator. My father became the Solicitor General, which is equivalent to the Attorney General in the United States. He became the Solicitor General of the province of Ontario. So I was around it, and this caller Brian asked me, did that affect my outlook on politics here on this political race? And I have to say, no, it didn't, Brian. You know, all my opinions, all my insights are just formulated from what I see. from what I see in people, from what I see in the economy, from what I see in the environment around, you know, where I live and around the country.

So, if anything, maybe I got a little bit of the political bug from my father. I don't know, but I certainly, nothing that I witnessed as a boy around the political arena had really anything to do with my opinions on. this race. But also, you mentioned to me being in Hollywood, the mecca of, you know, anti-Trumpness, and I already addressed that, you know, all the people that, you know, are against it for whatever reason. But you asked me, you know, how did I know?

And I, you know, I didn't, well, I guess in my heart I knew, but I obviously I don't. know the answer. I'm not a soothsayer. But I just had a, I guess I just looked at what was around me. I looked at all the pieces. I looked at the dysfunctional government. I looked at all the people that were dissatisfied. I looked at all the programs that aren't working. I looked at all the injustices. I looked at politicians that weren't being truthful and were wrapped up in court cases and were caught lying and infidelities and corruption and all this stuff. And I thought, God, this isn't what the people want. This isn't a politician's job to be immersed in all this mock.

Politicians are supposed to be kind of fine, upstanding moral citizens that rise above the fray. Now you're going to me, well, what about Donald Trump? Well, Donald Trump wasn't a politician. Donald Trump was a guy who was rough around the edges and lives in a world of construction workers and developers and deal and people trying to sheist him and rip him off. And he comes from that world. So in a way you can excuse that he's not as well refined as a professional politician, but that's what made him refreshing.

And if you're asking why I liked him, it's because that was one of the very reasons I liked Donald Trump, is because I saw in him a man who was a developer. I saw a man who was a contractor. guy who could take a structure like an old hotel or an old warehouse and reimagine it and revive it and bring it back to life and take the old and the decrepit and resurrect it. That's what Donald did. He built things. He built shiny new things that people lived in and enjoyed and shopped in and made use of. He took the rundown and the downtrodden area.

of New York and other places in the world. He took things that were used up and over the hill and done. He remodeled and refurbished them and put a new face on them and gave them new life. He breathed a new life into them, which in turn breathed life into the economy and breathed life into the employment numbers and breathed life into people's enjoyment of the world.

And so in my mind, I looked at Donald's mindset and I examined the psychology of Donald, and I go, and I don't want to be presumptuous, but in my mind, I was like, I think that's how this man looks at the United States. I think he's a developer who doesn't look at it as a politician. He looks at the United States as a run-down old building. And let's be honest, our roads are cracked, our bridges are falling, our airports are dilapidated and out-of-date,

our schools, our buildings, our neighbors, and you can't deny that. It's true. Look, you're talking to a guy that travels all over the country for a living. I've landed in every airport. I've driven down every road. I've been to almost every city and town in this damn country. I do a lot of road dripping. I've traveled the land, the geography, so I'm not talking out of my ass. And he's not wrong. And he's addressing that. And I think he's a man that wants to see it rebuilt. I think he's a man that wants to see it rebuilt. I think. think he wants it to be better. I think he wants to resurrect it and make it better for us, the people that live here, make it better for people who are visiting. And in doing so, you know, he's fine-tuning a system. Bigger, better, more efficient airports, highways, roads, and all this repair work creates jobs and puts money back into the community, creates the steel mills to fire up and the, you know, the heavy machinery industry to fire up and the labor forced to fire up and all that's a win-win and so you see a guy that that that kind of wants to make

that happen and when you build up the schools in the decrepit neighborhoods and you resurrect the buildings you create a better way of life for maybe some of the lower income areas and hopefully they can be revived and and people can have a better better style of living you know And so I look at Donald through those lenses because I feel like if our environment's good, the people are happier, people are more content, people want to work, people want to pay taxes towards keeping that type of environment healthy and vibrant and prosperous. and so it's a snowball effect. And, you know, I see a guy who's talking about keeping jobs in America

and a lot of things. I won't go through the laundry list of reasons. And there's people listening going, yeah, well, what about all the bad things? You know, the anti-Muslim rhetoric and then the building the wall and all that stuff? Well, yes, it depends how it's handled. I don't want any.

any Muslim to ever feel unwanted in America. I don't want any Muslim to be harassed or have prejudice against them. But for anyone not to recognize that there's an issue globally with radical Muslim activity, it's something that needs to be looked at. You can't just turn your back on it and not say the name and not acknowledge it and pretend it's only happening here and there. It's It's a dangerous element. It's a poison. And again, I'm not saying the Muslims. I'm saying the radical Muslims, the ISIS and these type of things,

who have hijacked the Muslim faith. I have to believe that Donald's energy is focused towards the bad part of the hijacked Muslim faith. He's not looking to make life horrible for American Muslims or Muslims in general. That's what I believe. and if anyone thinks that i you know oh i'm i've got a thing against muslims you couldn't be more wrong two of my best friends are muslims one of my oldest dearest friends is a muslim one of my one of my buddies i talk to every day is a muslim i have two two of my best friends are african-american people and and and and when people suggest that everyone who who supports trump

is a racist or a Muslim phobe. You can't imagine how much that hurts me, how insulting that is. If you knew my life, if you knew my friends, if you knew the people I'm around, that stuff's the farthest from my mind. But a lot of people had a lot of fun taking a broad brush and painting everyone with these horrible terms and words. And I'm hoping that Donald Trump, who I said, said as rough around the edges maybe just kind of misspoke or got excited and I don't believe that

the guy wakes up in the morning and thinks about lining Muslims up and drowning them and doesn't like black people and doesn't like Mexicans and you know one of my dear friends was it is a Mexican person and and she was very upset I talked to her she was actually weeping and I I felt horrible. And she said, you don't understand what it's like to come to this country. And I said, you're wrong again. I did it. I did it.

I came to this country. I did the long process. I worked my way here. It cost me a bunch of money and a lot of time and a lot of effort. And it was hard and it was frustrating. And sometimes I wanted to give up, but I didn't. And I made it. And I also look at, you know, people south of the border in Mexico, where it's more impoverished.

And I go, you know what? If I was living down there, I'd probably want to make a run for the border too. But you also have to remember that if you make a run for the border, you have to know that it's illegal to do it. It's not legal to walk into another country, whether it be Canada, the United States, China, India. every country has laws. And if you are going to walk into another country illegally, there may be a price to pay. There may be consequences.

So I don't know. I'm sympathetic towards anyone who wants a better life and works for it. But like I said, I've done the journey, man, and I did it the right way. And sometimes it's very frustrating when you do something the right way and you watch people doing it the wrong way and getting just as many benefits, if not more, than you.

It makes you feel like a bit of a chump. And so it kind of boils down to do you have laws in a country or don't you? And it sucks because you hate to see someone suffering. You hate to see someone on the other side of the fence looking in. but it's it's just the way it is sometimes and the person looking in instead of going well I'm going to I'm going to dig a tunnel and go over there because I want in that person has to get more introspective and go well what is the way in where I'm allowed to come in where's the doorway that I'm invited to come in and that's the responsibility

of any immigrant of any person you can either come in right or you can coming wrong so there you go man long-winded answer but uh you know it's done i say give it a chance and i'll also say this if if if donald trump goes off the rails if donald trump does turn out to be a lot of these bad things people accused him of which i don't think at the end of day he is I will be the very first to vilify him. I will be the very first to jump off the Trump train as fast as a speeding rocket and switch gears

and try and get him the hell out of there. But who knows? What if he turned out to be really good? What if he did take a dilapidated economy, a dilapidated infrastructure, a lot of dilapidated social programs and schools, and was able to develop them and bring them back to life and make them better the way he does with communities and buildings and hotels and office buildings.

And I'm not saying people are structures, but people are people. And people have to live and commute and thrive around structures. And in a way we are structures. We're human structures of bone and flesh and stuff. souls and hearts and brains. And what if, just what if this guy can surprise us, the way he's surprised us through this whole election, what if at the end of four years we can go, boy, were we wrong about him? Are people even willing to let that into their hearts and minds?

Are you going to at least allow yourself to maybe be proved wrong? Are you humble enough? are you gracious enough to allow a guy to take a few swings at the bat before saying things like I'm moving to another country and we're all going to hell and he's a Nazi and why don't we watch? Why don't we see? And guess what?

Here's my closing statement. Here's what's, again, amazing about America. And I was so happy to see that the American people, found their voice and spoke up and took a chance with this guy but those same people the same people that put him in power that put him where he is

we all have the right to get him the fuck out if he doesn't do what we want and that is the beauty of America that is the beauty of electing a clown or a plumber or a ruffer or a rocket scientist or a mathematician or an actor to the highest office in the land. So let's not forget that.

Everyone gets a chance. Everyone deserves a chance because that's what America is. That's what makes America different. And so here we are. Let's put down the verbal swords. Let's stop the venom. Let's stop the fighting and the name-calling and the animosity, and let's put away the hurt and the pride.

And let's just see what happens. Let's give this guy a chance. Who knows, we might get lucky. Let's hope for the best, all of us together, all of us united, all of us as Americans, regardless race, color, creed, religion, affiliation, it doesn't matter. You're all Americans. And let's all root for the guy. Let's all root for our leader and see if he can do it.

Let's see if he can pull it off. And if he can, we all win. And if he can't, guess what? Bye-bye. We try it with someone else. There you go. Long-winded, I know. But it was, you know, it was a long year.

It was a long, a long, challenging, dramatic. election. And to those of you who lost, for those of you wanted Hillary, I'm sorry. I know that it feels bad, that it hurts. I know you're disappointed. I am not rubbing it in. I am not mocking you. I respectfully, very respectfully feel your pain and your disappointment because I would have felt it the other way. And all I can say is I hope that Donald Trump isn't the fuck up that you think he is. I hope he does well by you. He's going to do some things good, some things bad, but I hope maybe it's not as bad as you think. And I'm sorry that you lost and not in a gloating manner, but I'm glad the person I put faith in one, because obviously

that makes me feel good. And we'll just all keep on marching to a new tomorrow. Wow. You know, we started the show. We went from Uncle Harry taking a dump in the voting booth to driverless beer trucks, to now we have the host of the celebrity apprentice being the most powerful human being on planet Earth. As far as we know, the only speck in the universe with intelligent life or even life, period, the host of a reality TV show is at the very top of the totem pole here we go who doesn't say that America is fucking exciting

I end it right there guys please don't hate, please don't love let's all hold hands let it roll and the utmost respect to the Hillary people the utmost respect to the Bernie people, the independence, the Trump people from me to you. I hope we all can be unified and be respectful and loving of one another.

Let's see what happens. I'll leave it there, man. I probably have more to say, but I'm not going to because half of you have probably tuned out or fallen asleep. But like I said, this was over a year's worth of me watching this, and there was a lot inside me. I was like, I got a, you know, people are asking me. I'm going to answer it. So there you go. What can I tell you, man?

Oh, how about this weekend? If you want to not deal with the election and you need to ease your pain, you need to have some laughter to help you get through it. I will be in Denver, Colorado. This weekend, November 11 and 12, at the, at the, Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado. Get your tickets at Harlew Williams.com.

The following weekend, San Diego, California, at the American Comedy Co. And then the Thanksgiving week, I'll be in Irvine, California at the improv. December 1st through the 3rd. I'll be in Cleveland at hilarities. And my last comedy show of the year will be in Oxnard, California at Levity Live,

a brand new club up there. I'm excited to go. Go to harloweems.com and you can leave a voicemail. Or you can, sorry, you can go to harlewiams.com and order your tickets on my comedy link. And if you want to leave a voicemail, if you want to react to any of this, good, bad, or ugly, 323-739-4-330. 3-2-739-4-3-3-0. Also, while you're there, you can write your comments,

at harland williams.com. Don't forget to check out our store. We have a wonderful store there where you can buy merchandise. Christmas is coming up. We will ship it out to you so you can have it under the tree, funny t-shirts and music CDs,

movies, artwork, all kinds of cool stuff. And don't forget to get our app. It's free. Just go into your app store on your phone, the Harland Highway. And if you want to become a premium member, and get all the bonus material that I do.

You can do that at my website at the Harland Highway podcast link or the app link. It's only $20 a year. Beautiful. All right, that's it. I've talked too long. Congratulations to everyone for a long, hard political season.

And let's all just hope for the best. Like I said, until next time, chicken chow-me. baby