The Harland Highway - 821 - MR. FEATHERSTONE drops by to gobble. Eating testicles. Too much poultry.
Episode Date: November 24, 2016Mr. Featherstone wants Harland to teach him how to gobble. Too much poultry. Harland tricks friend into consuming testicles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystu...dio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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We wish you a happy Thanksgiving.
We wish you a happy Thanksgiving.
Wait, that's the birthday.
No, that's the Happy New Year.
No, that, I don't know what it is.
Welcome to the Harland Highway podcast.
I do know that that's what this is.
And what a show we have today?
Apparently Mr. Featherstone, my boss, by the way, I'm Harlan Williams.
My boss, Mr. Featherstone, is dropping by the studio.
Apparently he wants me to give him gobble lessons for his kid.
I don't even know what that means, so we got that to look forward to.
Yikes.
Also, a call from a pavement ponder who has some interesting new ideas about the Thanksgiving feast.
Apparently, it's not just turkey on the menu anymore.
And speaking of turkey, we investigate the concept of turkey eggs.
Usually we just eat chicken eggs.
Now it's turkey eggs, everybody.
And speaking of eggs, oh my God, I went to a restaurant with a friend of mine
and I tricked him into eating something that's sort of shaped like eggs.
It was gross, it was disgusting.
I feel like a bit of a bad guy.
I do a full confessional towards the end of the show.
Wait, do you hear what my friend put in his mouth.
You might vomit in your own mouth.
But don't you always?
Because that's what we do here.
This is the Harland Highway.
What am I?
What is this?
Some kind of a joke or something?
Welcome to the Harland Highway.
What you're talking about Williams?
Son, you got a panty on your head.
Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck.
Oh God, what's happening here?
What's happening?
Hey, Harland, it's Shelby.
You just made a wrong turn.
On to the Harland Highway.
We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing.
Not because they are easy, but because they are hard.
That is fantastic.
That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place
The Harland Highway
What is it?
The opening
To what?
To another dimension
This is Harland Williams
You're a bad man
You're a very bad man
That is fantastic
Hello
Hello
Hey Harland, it's premium member
ID number 669er
I just listened to the 765
annual Harland to Thanksgiving Day parade, and my net log is aching.
That was hilarious.
I just wanted to mention, and I'm sure you're aware of this, but it's been about a month
since you last posted some premium content for us premium members.
And when it goes about a month, I think I wonder, and it's not, I'm not the same
me talking, but I wonder if other premium members are starting to feel less special
than it's been over a month.
So I'm excited to see the next premium content.
you're killing it.
I can't wait to see you again live.
Have a good Thanksgiving, the man.
Oh, and you should probably look into turduckin.
It's turkey, stuffed with ducks, stuffed with chicken.
My father-in-law made it a couple of Thanksgiving's ago,
and it was pretty amazing.
Chicken chal-mein.
Ba-boom, boom.
Hey, first of all, everybody, happy Thanksgiving.
Today's the big day.
Happy, happy, happy, happy Thanksgiving.
And thank you for calling in.
in premium member reference number 665924 C3PO52R2R2D29-745 yes you you have got me sometimes I am
I am not able to put in any premium content on certain months but then on other months
I do more so it's kind of a little game of balances some months you'll get more and
some months, you'll get a little less.
But that's why it's only $20 a year because it's not like I have a consistent day where
I put stuff.
And by the end of the year, if you look at all the premium content that's been stacked
up for you special premium members, it adds up to a lot.
And that's kind of what you're paying for.
And it is inconsistent, but it is there.
And I appreciate the note.
I have had one or two other people say, hey, there's no premium this month.
You haven't put any premium up for a while.
So I will work harder at that.
Of course, you deserve it.
Your premium members.
Then over a month.
But as I say, at the end of the year, you're getting a nice, nice, juicy stack of extra beef.
Then over a month.
And I'll keep it coming, ma'am.
You have my word on that.
Then over a month.
And as to your note about, what was it, to snuffin, to snurkey, to snurkey, to snob.
Nuffalofagus?
What?
Turd duckin.
It's turkey stuffed with ducks, stuffed with chicken.
What?
Turd ducking.
Than over a month.
Turduckin?
I mean, how much poultry do you want, man?
I mean, a turkey.
Turkeys come in at 15, 17, 22 pounds.
I mean, you can feed a family of 12 on one turkey,
and you need to pull a chicken and a duck into the mix.
Why don't you just stuff a pheasant and a quail
and an ostrich up there?
bro. Holy crap. Turkey stuffed with duck, stuffed with chicken. That's like eating a bucket of KFC,
okay, a family pack, a family bucket and going, man, oh, that KFC was good. What do you say?
We head over to Popeyes and get a bucket of that to wash it down. I just can't get enough
foul in me. And wait a minute, pull over. There's some pigeons flying over the car. Pull over. I want
to eat those goddamn pigeons.
and if we're near a swamp let's pull over a boy i don't know what it is i'm craving a blue heron
right now god could i oh i wonder if there's any pelicans down by the wharf i mean they're big
aren't they good lord bro you should probably look into turd ducking you should probably look
into scaling it back i'm fine with the turkey man i don't i don't need a duck i don't need a chicken
And that's why it's a Thanksgiving turkey.
Good God.
Overkill, man.
Jesus.
But it's funny how we do, you know, use certain bird products for certain things.
Like Thanksgiving is just, it's usually just the turkey.
Kind of like when we eat breakfast, right?
It's kind of like chicken eggs.
We don't eat ostrich eggs.
We don't eat turkey eggs.
In fact, I have a little story here, a little news story that where I read about, you know, why we don't use turkey eggs since we're on the topic.
So let me get you that story.
Geek, geek, geek, geek, geek, geek.
Okay, so here's the story, you know, why we don't eat turkey eggs.
Because you've got to figure, right?
Chickens lay eggs, turkey lay eggs.
Here's why turkey eggs are big.
The average is 50% larger than a chicken egg,
with twice as many calories and grams of fat,
nearly four times as much cholesterol.
Well, there's a good reason not to.
Apparently, they used to be so popular
that turkey egg omelets were on the menu
at the famous Delmonico's restaurant in New York
until the late 1800s.
And many chefs thought the eggs made better sauces.
so what happened you're asking why don't we eat them anymore well for starters the article says
they're expensive turkeys are bigger than chickens so they take up more space and require more
food and they lay only two eggs a week compared to a chicken's nearly daily production
isn't that weird that chickens lay eggs every day it's just like it's like they're pooing eggs
It's just odd.
It's like fish don't lay eggs until the spawn happens.
And animals, most animals don't give birth until the mating season or the birthing season in the spring.
But these chickens are laying eggs every day.
Can you imagine if we didn't eat their eggs?
There would be three trillion.
This would be planet chicken, man.
Seriously.
I mean, can you imagine?
chickens laying eggs every day.
They lay about, what, three, four, five eggs a day?
Can you imagine if us humans didn't come along and eat these little bastards?
There'd be chicken.
We'd be overrun with chickens.
You thought there's a lot of ants?
Imagine all the chickens, man.
Holy smokes.
So the article goes on to say this adds up so that in the rare instance, a turkey egg
for sale, it's easily
$2 to $3 a pop.
Turkeys are among seven eggs
you should be eating
in addition to duck,
quail, ostrich, goose,
emu,
and
wait a minute, ostrich and
emu? Good Lord.
We're supposed to be eating those? I don't know.
But it says not only are the turkey
eggs supposed to be richer and creamer.
but their shells are speckled,
much like quails making them decorative to boot.
Ooh.
Ooh, who cares about the shells?
No, you don't eat the shells.
You don't decorate your house with shells.
Oh, Janice, look, what's with all the eggs all over the place?
Do you have turkeys?
No, they're just decorations.
We got rid of the candles.
We took all our paintings down.
We got rid of all our little trinkets, and we just put turkey eggs around the house.
Oh, Janet, this will be great at Easter time.
Don't you dare send your kids over here to eat our decorations.
Are those speckled?
Yes, get away from them.
Kind of odd.
So there you go.
I'm kind of interested to taste a turkey egg now, aren't you?
Like, wouldn't it be interesting to see how?
how they taste, I mean, I wonder how they compare to eating like a fried chicken egg and a fried
turkey egg. Is there a difference to your palate? I mean, obviously, I don't want the extra
fat and the cholesterol and all that other stuff, but it'd be interesting to try. And I bet
they're bigger. They're obviously bigger. So instead of eating two chicken eggs on an average
breakfast. You can just get one turkey egg.
I don't know. Something to think about. Maybe that's a new industry for any of you listening.
You're like, oh, God, how do I get rich? What do we need that nobody has? How can I, what do I, how do I get
ahead in life? Turkey eggs. Oh my God, nobody's selling turkey eggs. I'm going to sell turkey eggs.
I'm the first, it's actually not a bad idea. And since this is Thanksgiving for
of you that decide to pursue this, don't forget to give me thanks every Thanksgiving for giving
you the idea. And I'd also like a free omelet once a year, a free turkey omelet. Not to eat.
I want to wrap myself in it and sleep in it, like a sleeping bag, because I know it's going to be big.
Easy.
With the powers of the animals and the elements, you will soar as the falcons sores.
Run with the speed of gazelles and command the elements of sky and earth.
Three thousand years later, a young science teacher dug up this lost treasure and found she was aired to The Secrets of Isis.
Hello.
What?
Hello.
Oh, my God.
Is there someone here?
Uh, hello for the third time on a holy roller.
Oh, Mr. Featherstone?
Well, it ain't Cecil B. DeMille, for Christ's sake.
Oh, my gosh. What are you doing in my studio, sir?
I didn't hear you come in. I was playing.
I heard what you were doing.
You're talking about turkeys and eggs and it's Thanksgiving?
That's right, sir, yes.
Well, I'm sure you got a lot to give thanks for.
Well, you know, I do.
I'm at the serving a turkey dinner down at your funny little bars this weekend, huh?
Sir, you know, I really don't like it when you accuse me of going to funny little bars.
Oh, really?
Yes, sir.
I find it a bit insulting and I think it's, I just don't.
Well, what about that one down on 29th Street?
What, which one, sir?
You know, uh, Charlie's on a holiday?
Charlie's on a holiday.
Yeah, that funny little bar you go with your guy friends.
I don't go to funny bars with guy friends, sir.
Yeah, right.
And Christian Slater doesn't have a greasy hairdo.
What?
Listen, it's Thanksgiving, and I figured, you know, my kid, he loves Thanksgiving.
I heard you talking about the turkeys.
Oh, thank you, sir.
And my kid, he told me he wants to learn out a gobble.
What do you mean, sir?
well you know like a turkey gobble oh okay and i figured if anyone knows how to gobble it's you excuse me
well i mean let's not uh let's not pretend we're playing ring around the rosy here on uh bleaker street
what does that mean sir well i know you go to those funny little bars down on uh you know how about that one down on ninth and 27th over there downtown
What bar is that, sir?
Oh, you don't pretend you don't know, the milky mustache.
The milky mustache.
That's right, you and your guy friends.
Sir, I don't have guy friends.
Ah, sir?
Ah!
Sir, I am not...
Now, listen here.
I figured you know how to gobble.
Now, that sounds a little insinuating, sir.
Well, it is.
If anyone knows how to gobble, I'm sure it's you,
so I want you to teach me at a gobble for my kid for Thanksgiving.
And before we do that, let me ask you something.
Oh, no, I know what you're going to do.
Have you ever farted...
No, I don't fart on things, sir, and I don't gobble.
Have you ever farted on a wheelchair ramp?
Sir, why would I fart on a wheelchair ramp?
because if you fart at the top
and you walk down to the bottom of the ramp
the fart slides right down and goes back in your pants
and then you can fart it out somewhere else
all over again
it's like a recycle fart
sir
farts do not slide down wheelchair ramps
yeah I'm sure you slide down something
sir
uh huh sir
Ah, sir, I am not
You'll get to work
I need to learn out of gobble
What do you? You mean like a bird noise?
That's right. I heard you doing it on your
Plokplost.
Sir, it's a podcast.
Plod, blod. It's a podcast, sir.
Why can't you say the word? And why can't you go to
straight bars?
sir i do not go to those funny little bars downtown i do not ah sir what about the round clown
the what the round clown at ninth and forty-fifth downtown sir i do not go to the round clown
with your guy friends sir uh-huh sir
Ah!
Listen here, I don't think you should be in here.
You're gonna teach me out of gobble,
you knob-goblin gobbler?
What?
You heard me.
Some people are born in life to sing,
some people dance.
You're a God-given knob-goblin gobbler.
Sir, I am not a gob-blobblobler.
Uh-huh.
Sir?
Are you going to teach me to gobble or not?
Sir, all you have to do is act like a turkey.
You just put your lips together and go like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Ah, okay, do that again.
Sir, I've got work to do.
I said gobble, you gobb-b-gobble and knob-gobble blob-blob-snobbler.
Sir, I'm not a...
Gobloble and snobble a blob-dobbblower, sir?
By the way, have you ever farted on a flat screen TV?
Sir, I don't fart on things.
Why would you fart on a flat screen TV?
Because when you pull your pants down and you put your hairy ass crack
right up against the flat screen, you get this static electricity.
Okay?
And you know how you have a ring of hair around your asshole?
Sir, can we not talk about this?
Well, the static electricity makes your asshole hair stand on end, and it helps the fart come out better.
Sir, I am not in the mood for your fart science.
Ah, sir.
And it crackles when you fart.
I farted on Oprah Winfrey's face once in the middle of his show, and it crackled like lightning.
Sir, can we get on with it?
All right, let's get back to the gobling.
Sir, you just put your lips together
And you push the air out
And you just go
All right, let me try it
Hold on
Hyman Vina Venus Nichol
Sir
Hang on
Let me try it here
Well, I think you need to go an octave higher
Sir
All right, how do I do that?
Well, you just
kind of push your voice
sir, you open your throat. Oh, here we go. You and your guy friends. Sir!
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Stop it.
Now just push.
All right.
I think that's as good as it's going to get, sir.
Well, okay.
I couldn't have done it without you.
Thanks, thank God I employ a gobbler.
And I don't like the way you say that.
Well, let me say it another way.
Thank God I employ a knob, goblin, scob, dobbled, dobble blob, knobbobbler.
Sir, I'm not a scobble-dob, knobgobber.
You ever fart on a pin the tail on the donkey board at a birthday party?
Sir, can you go out?
I've got work to do.
You should try it.
Stupid donkey on the wall.
Plop to a fart out.
Sir, get out.
Are you telling me to get out of my own building?
No, sir, I just, I have work to do.
All right, well, I got to go take.
You teach my son out a gobble.
Thank you for your knobgoblin, blob, slobbing, daubbobble, and globblab festival.
Sir, it wasn't a festival.
It was a lesson.
I bet it was.
But you'll spend all thanks givling, goblin really hard and really deep.
Sir!
All right, I got to go.
I'll talk to you later.
Keep up the good work on your blodblast.
It's a podcast, sir.
Whatever, I got to get back to work.
Happy Snogbloss.
Good Lord.
What the hell is wrong with that guy, Roger?
And by the way, will you warn me next time he comes in here?
I don't like it when he just shows up teaching his son to gobble.
Aye, aye, y'ye.
Well, speaking of what, we're on the topic of weird foods and eggs and man parts,
gobbling and eating.
This story, I think I'll close on this story
because it kind of wraps it all into one.
And as much as Mr. Featherstone can be a douche,
I was a bit of a douche recently.
I want to share a story with you.
I went out to dinner with a buddy of mine
a couple of days ago.
And I guess there's a fine line
between being an asshole and being a joker.
And I might have walked that long.
You guys tell me what you think.
But I went out to dinner with a buddy of mine, my buddy Eddie,
and we went to this nice restaurant.
You know, it was one of these ones that was owned by one of these TV chefs.
So the food was really delicious and, you know, it was a little bit exotic.
You know, the chef was one of these guys that liked to kind of prepare the food differently
and offer different dishes and visually and taste.
feast-wise. It was, you know, the way chefs get creative. And so we went in. I'd been to this
restaurant before. Eddie hadn't been there, but I said, oh, let's go. You like this place. So we go,
we sit down. And I'm looking at the menu. And lo and behold, right there on the menu,
you know, it's salmon, it's duck, it's tuferky or whatever the hell that stuff is.
Turduckin.
Yeah, turduckin, which is also a small king.
in the Middle East. Hello, welcome to Tudakin, everybody. Please have a seat. Let's commence.
So they had all these great things on the menu, and then, you know, Eddie's looking at the
menu, I'm looking at the menu, and all of a sudden I scroll past with my eyes.
Prairie oysters. Yes, prairie oysters. How often you see prairie oysters on the menu?
And for those of you that don't know what prairie oysters are, let me
Let me tell you, let me describe them to you.
I'll look it up on Google so you get the best description ever.
I'll Wikipedia Prairie oysters for you.
Okay, so here we go.
I'm into the Wikipedia.
And let me read it to you so you can get a sense where we're going with this.
Prairie oysters, also known as Rocky Mountain Oysters in Canada,
is a dish made of bull, pig, or sheep testicles.
The organs are often deep fried after being peeled, coated in flour, pepper, and salt,
and sometimes pounded flat.
This delicacy is most often served as an appetizer with cocktail sauce dip.
I don't like the word cocktail next to my balls.
And delicacy, that's up for debate.
It is a well-known dish in parts of the American West and Western Canada
where cattle ranching is prevalent
and castration of young animals is common.
Prairie oysters may be served in a demi-glaze
or in the Texas panhandle or sometimes called calf fries.
In Spain and Argentina and many parts of Mexico,
they are referred to as Caradilla.
Hey, man, give me some caradillas.
Are you sure you don't just want some bulls balls?
It's the same thing, man.
They're also referred to as Huevos de Toro.
Isn't he an actor?
So the dish, you know, usually cowboy fair,
is most commonly founded and served at festivals
and amongst ranching families.
And, you know, it's not like it's something that's always out there, okay?
And so I was aware, you know, being a Canadian boy.
And by the way, Eddie was a Canadian boy, too,
so I'm surprised he didn't know what prairie oysters were,
and hence the fun.
So he didn't know what prairie oysters were,
and the waiter comes up and that's going to take your order.
And I said, oh, yeah, give me this, that.
and bring a round of prairie oysters for my boy here.
And Eddie kind of looked, oh, hey, thanks, man.
And I realized, I realized in that moment that he didn't know.
He didn't know what prairie oysters were.
And so now the wheels are turning, and I'm like trying not to laugh.
And I said, yeah, bring him.
And the waiter says to Eddie, he goes,
oh, you're deciding to live a little dangerously today, huh?
And Eddie didn't really get it.
And he goes, yeah, yeah, I guess so.
And I was like, oh, good.
He doesn't know.
He doesn't know.
And then, you know, I ordered them.
And I'm thinking, you know, $11 for a practical joke is a good price.
I mean, you know, if you go into a joke shop,
a whoopee cushion is $5.
The big fake glasses with the rubber nose is $6.
So for another dollar, I get to watch one of my buddies eat bull nuts.
Okay?
Deep fried bull balls.
So now we're in that waiting period
Between the food coming and when we ordered
And we're just shooting the breeze
And of course the whole time in my head
No matter what we're talking about
I'm like, oh my God, this guy's about to stuff
Bull balls in his mouth
But I'm in this dilemma where I'm like
Geez, do I tell them?
Do I let him go through with it?
Do I am I an asshole
Or am I a practical joke or which one am I?
I can't figure out
But who cares?
I got to see this happen.
So sure enough,
Eventually, the prairie oysters arrive, and they deep fry them and they bread them.
So when they arrive, they look kind of like deep fried potato skins or, you know, like hash browns or something like that.
And Eddie's a fast eater.
This guy eats really fat.
Like he'll be through a steak before I'm even three bites into my meal.
He's one of these fast eaters.
So without hesitate, he just picked one up, dipped it in the sauce.
gobbled it down before I could even think twice about warning him.
It was just gone.
And then I just watched his face, and I was like,
he has no clue.
He just ate it, a prairie oyster without even asking.
What kind of eating machine is this?
And then he put another one in his mouth, and he ate it.
And I thought, okay, there's three left.
Maybe I better say it.
I go, how are the prairie oysters?
He's like, oh, they're okay, man.
you know, they're pretty good.
You know, they taste, uh, tastes like a, sort of like a fish stick.
I said, yeah, are they good?
You really like them?
He goes, yeah, you know, they're okay.
And I just looked at him.
And I knew he was just clueless, and I said, you know, they're bull balls, right?
Yeah, right, man.
And he was laughing.
And I go, no, I'm, I'm serious.
They're bull testicles.
And his, I think he got it.
He started, and I just saw his face go blank.
Just for a minute, I think he had that moment, that moment, that realization where he realized, wait a minute, Harlan's not joking, man.
I mean, I've hung around Harlan enough to know when he's, I think this is real.
And he just kind of got this look on his face like, oh, wait a minute.
And then, of course, the waiter came over and he verified it.
And Eddie was trapped.
He had full on testicle mouth, man.
He had ball breath.
He had scrotum teeth.
I mean, this guy was, you know,
he had three bulls balls
swishing around in his stomach.
And I got to give him credit
just to show that he was a good sport,
just to show that he could man up.
Instead of getting mad at me,
instead of going, you fucking,
well, he did call me an asshole.
You know, that's a given.
When you have someone eating bulls nuts,
you're being called an asshole,
is a given you know you're getting that but to eddie's credit it was cool he sucked it up
he said oh they're not so bad he reached and grabbed another one and ate it and i was like all right
this guy this guy's cool man this guy can handle being punked this guy can be uh be be handle uh
ingesting bull's nuts deep fried bull's nuts
So there you go.
There's my little food punk.
I don't know if you guys have ever tricked anyone into eating something.
Or have you ever been tricked into eating something
and you didn't find out until after the fact.
If you have any stories you want to share, I'd love to hear them, man.
They're always great to hear that people got sucked into eating something.
They didn't want to eat.
3, 2, 3, 739, 4.3.30, 3, 3, 3, 3, 7, 3, 9, 4, 3, 3.30.
uh the the answering line rings about six times don't get discouraged just wait for it the machine
will pick up and you can tell your story keep it to about two minutes it only has about a two
minute duration and uh let us hear your horrifying food stories oh my goodness um and if you can't
remember that phone number it is at the website harlem williams.com so uh 323 739 43
30. Maybe you got someone to eat some bulls balls or something worse. Who knows?
And speaking of food, you know, we've had the der fucky, we've had the der turkey, we've had the
Toferky, we've had the Gobbblah Knobbler. And I know we played the Thanksgiving
turkey song last week, but today is officially Thanksgiving. So why don't, before we get to
the announcements, let's play the Thanksgiving turkey song one last
time just to get us in the mood. Once again, thank you, everybody. I give thanks for you. I give thanks
for you being part of the Harland Highway podcast. I give thanks for everything. It's just good
to be alive. Let's do the turkey song, and then we'll do some announcements right on the other side
of that. Raj, hit it.
Turquy, go go go go go go go go give thanks
Go go go go go go go go go go
Go get thanks
Did pilgrim
End his clock
Turkey, go-gob-gob-gob-gob-gob-gob-gob-gob-gob-gob-gaw-gaw-gaw-gaw-gaw-ggaw-gggggwkaw-ggggggggte bird-beast.
Take off turkey.
Comey, go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go get back
The kid of grub and their wives slice, slice, slice, slice, slice it with their knife
Take part.
Turntree.
Come, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Gap, go, go, go, go, go.
Turfee.
Gov, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Get thanks.
I hope Mr. Featherstone can teach his kid out of gobble.
Never been so insulted on Thanksgiving.
Anyhow, happy Thanksgiving to all of you.
Let's do some announcements here before we close out the show.
Just a reminder to a friend of mine reminded me that if you want to review the Harland Highway,
you can do that on iTunes.
I guess if you review the podcast, it's a good thing.
So if you have a minute to write a few words and give some
feedback about the podcast.
You can do that at the iTunes site where the show is downloaded and I love to see how
you guys feel about the podcast.
Let's see, what is going on?
Yes, starting tomorrow, Thanksgiving, I've been telling you guys this.
If you want a way to just unload after a big turkey dinner, sit back, relax, be entertained.
come down to Irvine in Orange County, California at the Spectrum.
The Improv Comedy Club.
I will be there tomorrow night, November 25, 26, and 27 doing shows, stand-up comedy shows.
It's going to be great.
Get your tickets at Harlow Williams.com.
That's the Irvine Improv, November 25, 26, 27.
I would love to see you down there.
Great, great activity to do with your family.
Spend the evening with me and have some laughs.
It'll be great.
And then first weekend in December, December 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
I will be on the East Coast in Ohio.
Yes, Ohio at hilarities in Cleveland, Ohio.
So come on out, man.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, the first second and third of December.
It's going to be great.
And then my final show of the year of 2016.
I can't believe another year has gone by, man.
Good Lord.
Oxnard, California, just north of Malibu, right on the coast.
Oxnard, December 8, 9, 10, and 11.
And the club is the Levity Live.
It's a brand new comedy club.
They just built up there.
So check it out.
all these dates are on my website at harlom williams.com
just go there you can reserve your tickets just click on the stand-up comedy tour link
and you can also look at i've posted my new upcoming tours for 2017 so you can check
and see if i'm coming to any of your towns or cities uh have a look while you're there
make sure you buy your your christmas goodies at our store we have all kinds of
a great gifts, movies, DVDs, CDs, T-shirts, artwork, digital downloads, you name it, man.
It's all there at Harlan Williams.com.
If you can get your order in before the 15th of December, we will mail it out to you ASAP.
And you can have some humor under the Christmas tree.
Getting lots of orders right now, and we're sending them out.
And also, don't forget to download the free app.
for the Harland Highway podcast.
It's in your app store.
Just go to your app store.
Press the Harland Highway, type it in,
and you will have the app absolutely free.
And if you want to become a premium member,
$20 a year for bonus material.
And as I said earlier in the show,
it adds up over the course of the year.
For $20, you get a lot of great extra bonus material for me.
And don't forget you can call me.
Here's the number again, 323739, 433.30, or you can write me at harlornwilliams.com.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Have the best Thanksgiving ever, and maybe we'll see you down in Irvine this weekend.
If not, we'll be back with you on Monday here at the Harland Highway podcast.
Happy Thanksgiving, chicken, or let's do it this way.
Turkey.
No, let's do it this way.
to duck to duck turk furtie chalmain baby turduckin oh you don't pretend you don't know the milky mustache the milky mustache