The Harland Highway - 826 - Harland visits the CHRISTMAS STORY house. Xmas social issues.

Episode Date: December 14, 2016

Harland goes inside the CHRISTMAS STORY movie house. Prof Rutherford Grimes with socially aware Xmas carols. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have a jolly, jolly Christmas, and in case you haven't heard, this is the Harland Highway podcast. It's a lot like a bird turd. No, it's not like a bird turd. Hi, Harland Williams here. How are you? How are you? I hope your holidays are going great. Welcome to the podcast. I'm Harlem Williams, your host and uh we're trying to keep it christmassy here um on today's show uh oh my god i went to cleveland ohio and i visited a very special house a house where they actually filmed an amazing christmas movie i actually got to go on a tour inside the house and uh i want to tell you all about it it was so fun it was so exciting it put a little twinkle in my eye and a little dance in my step. Very Christmassy thing to do. So I'll take you on that little adventure. And then later in the show, Professor Rutherford Grimes, a sociologist, study in human sciences, and so on and so forth. From Berkeley, we'll be here to discuss how that sometimes at Christmas we forget that there's a lot of people that aren't as fortunate and a lot of social things that are going on.

in the world that we can't let go of, we mustn't lose sight of. So let's go. This is the Harland Highway. Where are I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What you're talking about Williams?

Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh, God, what's happening here? What's happened? Hey, Harland, it shall leave. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things.

not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway. What is it? The opening? To what? To another dimension.

This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun is to ride and want our soap. Hey! Jingle Mills! Jingle bells! Jingle all the way! Oh, what fun it is to ride and a one heart self is like!

Ah! Dadgummit Blah! Uh-huh, there it is! A Christmas story! What a movie! Here's one of the scenes where... Dad gets a flat tire, pulls over... Four minutes! Time me! Goes out to fix it.

fix it actually my old man loved him he always saw himself in the pits of the indianapolis speedway and the 500 great scene ralphi goes out to help and swears my old man's spare tires were actually only tires in the academic sense they were round they had once been made a rubber uh-huh great movie great classic scene why don't you go help your dog really can i yeah the traffic there okay it was the first time that it had been suggested that I go help my father with anything what are you doing here mom so that I should help oh yeah yeah okay sit down here squat down so in case you don't know the scene this is where Ralphie goes out to help his dad change this fair tire the dad thinks he's like an

indie pit stop guy try to change it as fast as he Oh, like this, if I want to put the nuts in us. There we go. Gives Ralphie the nuts to hold. There I do. There it is. Nuts for the wheel, that is. There we go.

For one brief moment, I saw all the bolts silhouetted against the lights of the traffic, and then they were gone. Oh, fudge. Only I didn't say fudge. I said the word, the big one, the queen mother of dirty words, the F-dash-dash-dash-word. What did you say? That's what I thought you said. Yeah, that's what you thought he said, but he did.

He said the big F word. Now, a Christmas story is such a wonderful, charming, funny, silly, Beautiful movie. It came out in the 80s, and it was one of these movies. I was in college at the time. I think I was like 19, maybe 20 years old. And I was wandering around downtown Toronto where I live. And I was just in the mood for something Christmassy.

It was the holidays. I was like, God, I just want to see something. I looked at the movie theater. I was by myself. And also I see a Christmas story. And I'm like, you know what, what the hell? It's Christmas. If I don't like it, I'll walk out.

You know, I didn't know anything. You know, this was pre-internet, pre-anything, really. You know, it's almost amazing when I look back that we had any information on anything, you know? I mean, newspapers were the big source of information, really. It was like, you know, you get your news like eight days after the fact. So I go in and see this movie, and I just sat there. there and it was one of those ones that it just kept growing on me and growing on me and growing on me

and the actors were so perfectly cast the little boys in the movie were so cute it's a christmas story it's just about the perils of a little boy and his with his mom and dad and his little brother they live in the suburbs and it's the old story where all the kid wants is the top pick on his Christmas list in this case he wanted a BB gun And so the whole movie kind of centers around his desire and his hope and his scheme and his plot to try and somehow conned his parents into getting him the present that he wants, which is a BB gun. And all they've told them the whole time is you'll shoot your eye out, kid. So I went in to see this movie and I left just like, just like overwhelmed with joy and happiness. and it was like an instant classic.

It's one of those movies. Like, how often do you walk out of a movie and you're like, oh, my God, that movie's going to live in my heart? Well, a Christmas story is one of those movies that once you see it, and I think anyone who's seen it agrees, you'll find it lives in your heart. And if you haven't seen a Christmas story, please get it.

It's so sweet and innocent and fun and silly. It does that great narration. Just a wonderful movie So the reason I'm saying this A, it's Christmas So we want to talk about Christmas But also I got to go to the house They filmed the movie

The whole movie was filmed in a little house In the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio And I was recently in Cleveland, Ohio And I got to go on a tour of the house Some guy bought the house redesigned it or refurnished it with all the kind of the props and all the stuff from the movie

and you can go in the house and walk through the movie house from a Christmas story. And it was awesome. And it was crazy. There was a lineup down the street to get into this thing. There must have been like 100 people in front of me.

We were all standing out in the cold, shivering. There was a big, long lineup. Probably took half an hour, 40 minutes just to get up to the front of it. porch and everyone was excited and it just goes to show how much people love this movie and by the way kudos to the guy who bought the house and had the vision for this apparently he bought the house for like a hundred and fifty thousand dollars like years ago and now he's got people streaming in and out of this thing all year long and he's making a killing actually opened a gift

shop across the street. They must have bought the house across the street. They opened a gift shop. Tons of people in there. Tons of merchandise. I actually went in and bought, they sell, going back to the clip I just played, the O-Fudge Clip. Oh, Fudge. Only I didn't say fudge. I said the word. The big one, the queen mother of dirty words, the F-dash-dash-dash-word. What did you say? He said, Fah, you can't say it.

But anyways, I went to the gift shop and they actually sell Fudge. Ralphie is the little cute who says Fudge, beautiful little kid, big blue eyes, blonde hair, round glass. It's just as cute as a little angel. And so they actually sell Fudge in the gift shop. It's hilarious. I bought a whole box of it. I'm going to give it. to my friends and family for Christmas,

these little tubs of fudge. You can eat them with a spoon. It's hilarious. So anyways, I went in this house, and, you know, the house had such a feeling. You know, the movie was set like, I think, in the late 60s, mid-60s, maybe the early 70s.

And the house that they refurbished is typical of that time period. They kept all the props and the furniture, and it's got a warmth and a car. posiness and you go into this house on the tour and you can just picture the family there and you can see the Christmas tree in the living room and there's this this ridiculous lamp. The father wanted a ridiculous lamp in some stupid contest and he thought it was from Italy and the lamp is a leg with a lampshade on it.

Here's the famous clip. It must be Italian. Well, I think that's such fragile, honey. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Would you look at that? Would you look at that? What is it?

It's a leg. What is it? Well, it's a leg, you know, like in a statue. Statue. Yeah, a statue. Yeah, statue. Ralphie? My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue.

Holy smoke, will you? Do you know what this is? This is a lamp. It was indeed, O'amette. That great, what a great lamp. I don't know. Hey, hold it. Hold it here, go ahead.

The old man's eyes buckled. Oh, wow. Overcome by our. And I know just the place for it. Right in the middle of our front room window. Ah! Oh! Let's see.

The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, and the lamp blazed forth an unparalleled glory. Oh, look at that. When you look at that, that is in that glorious. It's indescribably beautiful. It reminds me in the fourth of July. Turn off all the lights. I want to see what it looks like in the street.

I'll go get the Danny. Couldn't we talk this all over? The entire neighborhood was turned on. Oh, you should see what it looks like from out here. It could be seen up and down Cleveland Street, the symbol of the old man's victory. If he won that, it's a major award. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex?

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Literally, it was a woman's leg with a high heel and fishnet stockings and a lampshade. And this guy won it from some contest in a newspaper. He did a crossword puzzle or something, and he was so enamored with it that he put it right in the front window of the house so everyone walking past the house could see it all lit up. It was his crowning glory, and his wife was just so embarrassed and humiliated,

and the little boys were aroused by this sexy-looking leg. And this leg lamp has become iconic. I mean, it's part of movie folklore, and they were selling leg. lamps in the gift shop and it was really cool and then across the street they had the first you have the house

you can tour through then they had the gift shop and then also on the other side of the street they had a museum and they had all the original props and artifacts that were actually used in the movie they had them in glass cases and you can go in and look at them and

see photographs and production stills and they also had a guy there that that gave kind of a, you know, a tattooer, and he gave a narration on the film, and he was a really great guy, and he had all these interesting facts, and I'll play one of them for you,

but first I want to play the scene that he was talking about. There was a scene towards the end of the movie where the family's turkey gets eaten by the neighbor's dog. The neighbors have, like, 15 blood happened, and they stole the Christmas turkey. So not wanting to go without Christmas dinner, they scour the town, and the only thing that's open is a Chinese restaurant

on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. And so this poor family, after all they've been through, end up at a Chinese restaurant and all the waiters are standing around singing Christmas carols in their Chinese accents, and it was just hilarious. And let me play you that scene. And then I'll play you the commentary from the guy at the Christmas Story House. Take the hall with power of bory.

Rara-ra-rara-ra-la-la-la. Tis the season to me jarring. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not rah-la-la-la-la. Sing like this. Take the horse with boughs of holy. Fala la la la la la la la. Try again. Get the holy with powers of hoary.

Rara ra ra ra ra ra ra. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Sing something else. Gingle bear. Jingle bearer, jingle bearer, jingle o'dawaii, all my fun is to ride in what horsey horsey, oh no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop. Kitchen, bring food for customers. Oh yeah, it's a good, good, man.

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's a beautiful dog. Oh, yes, it's a beautiful duck. It's a beautiful duck, yes, it really is. It's, uh, but you see, uh, it's, uh, it's smiling at me. Oh, no, uh, oh, oh, oh, oh, great, you know, okay, beautiful. Yeah, yes, it's nice. That Christmas would live in our memories as the Christmas when we were introduced to Chinese Turkey.

Paul was right, but they were out. So there you go. What happened in the scene is they're all sitting there. The waiters were singing. They couldn't get it right. And then the cook brought out that, you know, the Chinese didn't do the traditional Christmas turkey. So they brought out a smoked duck,

a whole duck laying on a plate with the head on it and everything. and the chef chopped the head off of the dock right in front of the whole family. That's why you hear the mother scream. And here's the backstory from the gentleman who worked in the museum. Here's how he tells what happened on set that day when they're filming at the Chinese restaurant. Oh, my God. I'm so pissed off.

Sorry to interrupt the story. I just stopped to download the clip of the guy. from the museum and I'd recorded his little spiel on my cell phone and I went to my cell phone to get the file and guess who forgot to press record or thought he had pressed record and didn't do it. Oh, I'm so mad.

Here's what happened. I went on the tour. The guy told the story about the Chinese restaurant and it was so good that I purposely went out of my way and asked the guy. I said, would you mind telling that quick? little story again about the Chinese restaurant so I can play it for my podcast listeners. Oh my God. And the guy was so gracious. He told the whole story again to a bunch of people in the

house. He just told it like two minutes earlier. And he did me a favor and I'm standing there recording it. I'm excited because I knew I was going to play it for you guys. And I go to my phone and it's not there. It's like just blank. I'm so bummed. Because he told it so well. He had this deep commanding voice and oh bummer dudes well basically what he what he said is that the the scene was actually shot in a little restaurant in a bowling alley and he said that everyone of the cast members was in on that scene except for the mother the mother did not know what was coming she was told just to sit there and go with the flow and she did not know that they were going to bring out a dead duck and chop the head off right in front of her.

So when you hear her scream and laugh, apparently that was a very, very real reaction. And, you know, it's so true when you watch the movie, that scene just looked so real and it's so warm and family-themed and oriented. It's just a beautiful little scene. So I've used up like half the show talking about it, but it was really a great time, a great adventure. They did a beautiful job at the Christmas Storyhouse. If you're in Cleveland, Ohio, look it up on your iPhone or on the internet.

Get over there, and it's a great Christmasy way to spend an afternoon or a morning. Hit the gift shop. They got great stuff in the gift shop. Hit the museum. The gentleman, I never got his name, but a very big, tall portly gentleman with a deep voice and really knew his stuff and he was just so good i'm so bummed that i i didn't capture his uh recording what a dummy i am someone should chop my head off with a meat cleaver right i deserve it man but uh anyways great time i hope i hope

fans of the movie enjoyed this segment and i encourage you to watch the movie movie during the holidays. And for those of you that have never seen the movie or being are being exposed to it for the first time, it's really just a warm, wonderful, fun movie to watch alone or to watch with the whole family. You can't go wrong. So there it is. My adventure at the Christmas Story House, my thanks to everyone at the Christmas Story House who were so cool and amazing. And it's a great, great place to visit. All right. Let's move on to some other stuff. Roger, huh? Oh, that's right. Okay. Well, you know what? There's Christmas is a time of you. We've got someone on the phone. He's waiting on line four. They. Oh, there's two. Oh, that's right. Okay. So we've got some guests calling into the show today. And it's a professor from Berkeley, Dr. Rutherford Grimes. He's a professor of black American culture. He's a sociology professor.

He studies social patterns, social behavior. And I guess at this time of year, he's with an advocacy group that wants to remind us that there are many social issues that sometimes get forgotten during the festive season because we get so preoccupied with gift giving and spending time with family that we sometimes forget about the plight of other people in society that might not be as fortunate or have had unfortunate times come their way and do not have the joy and the merriment in their heart that maybe the rest of us do.

And so let's get them on the line. I think they're going to kind of talk to us, remind us about these things, and put them through, Raj. Hello. Hello? Hello, Mr. William. This is Professor Rutherford Grimes. Yes, Professor.

How are you today, sir? I'm doing really well, Mr. William. Thank you so much for having me on the show. There's a special time of year. Yes, absolutely, Professor Grimes. It's great to have you here, and this is a special time of year. Yes, it is. And I know that everybody's celebrating the holidays.

And we've done many studies, you know, there is a high rate of suicide, not to put a damper on the holiday season, Mr. William, but there is a high rate of suicidal tendencies during the Christmas holiday season. Yeah, I've heard that before, and I find that a little bit startling and a little bit sad. It is a sad thing, Mr. Williams. and that's why we have to come on your show today and, you know, kind of help balance the boat, set the record straight, so to speak.

How do you mean, Professor? Well, during the holiday season, as you had alluded to in your introduction there, you mentioned how people get overwhelmed and preoccupied with a buy-in-presence and celebrating and filling their hearts with joy, which we do command, which we do encourage. Of course, I mean, this is the most joyful time of year.

But in that whitewash of joy, Mr. Williams, there are many, many, very important social issues that get buried along the way. Do you know what I mean? I think I know what you mean. Just the news media and the festivities, it kind of clouds the air, And it kind of pushes out kind of things that we deal with during, you know, the regular part of the year. Absolutely, Mr. Williams. And we just want to remind people that they should not forget the plight of those that are in need,

those that have been victims, those that have crime perpetrated against them. And so we have to be vigilant. We have to stay aware. and we have to open up our hearts and always remember, especially this time of year when it's all about giving to bring those people into our hearts

and never forget the social unrest, the social need out there in the real world. I couldn't agree with you more, sir. That is a very, very kind and generous giving sentiment. We do get kind of caught up in the furor of Christmas, the lights, the trees, the presents. And yes, absolutely, there are probably hundreds of thousands of people who are not maybe having quite a joyous festive time of year.

Absolutely, Mr. Williams. And that's why we came on the show today, and we thought it was important to shine the light on those situations so people don't forget. Well, that's very kind of you to give up. your time to do that. Now, how do you propose to do that? Do you hand out flyers? Do you do

a news special? Mr. Williams, I have a very special guest with me here today. He's right here with me. It's a gentleman from the men's choir up in Harlem. His name is Clark Boiler. I'm sorry. What is it, Rutherford?

Clark Boiler is his name. He's a tenor in the men's choir up at St. Matthew's Church. And And he has put together today, along with my assistance, of course, some Christmas cows that will help us to, you know, keep the plight of the less fortunate in our sights. Fantastic. How are you, Clark? Well, hello there, Mr. Williams. It's quite an honor to be on your podcast today.

Well, it's great to have you here, and I guess are you going to do some singing for us today? Absolutely, Mr. Williams. I'd like to start off with a wonderful Christmas carol. Okay, that sounds great, and this one is... It's a classic that I think everybody knows and loves, and it's called Old Christmas Tree, Mr. Williams. Oh, yeah, okay. Go ahead, please. Here we go, everybody. This is Clark Boyler from the men's choir at St. Matthew's Church, up in Harlem, and take it away, Clark with Oh, Christmas Tree. Oh, thank you, Mr. Williams. Three, two, one. Oh, pedophile, oh pedophile, how lovely are your touches.

Oh, pedophile, how lovely are your touches. You lure children in your home. Make them feel underneath your robe. Oh, pedophile. Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. Mr. William, if you could not cut a clock off in the middle of his song. I thought he was doing old Christmas tree.

Well, Mr. William, that was old Christmas tree. but in keeping with our program here, where we are trying to shine the light on some strong and severe social issues, we don't change the words up just a little bit. Was that old pedophile instead of old Christmas tree? That's right, Mr. Williams. You see, pedophilia is a severe, horrible crime against children. Okay, we know what pedophilia is, professor, but wait a minute.

I thought you guys were singing Christmas carols here. Well, that is a Christmas carol. Yes, that is a Christmas carol, Mr. Williams. Okay, Clark, do you have another one? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I cut you off, but that one just kind of threw me off a little. Can we try something else here? Absolutely, Mr. Williams.

How about Frosty the Snowman? Would you like that one, Mr. Mr. Williams? Yes, Frosty the Snowman. That sounds just about right. Clark, are you good to go? I sure am. Frosty the Snowman coming right up. And three, two, one. Francine the crack whore has ten needles in her arm. She'll turn a trick and suck ten dicks and fuck you in a barn. the crack whore is addicted to her smack for an extra lousy 15 bucks you can pound her crusty back crack

oh no no no what is going on here was that Francine the crack whore Mr. William you know a crack cocaine addiction is the scourge of the 21st century now people are doing just about anything to get the crack fix, and that includes taking 10 men into the back of a barn. Wait a minute, I know, but you said it was Frosty the Snowman, not Francine the Crackhor.

But Mr. Williams, in keeping with our social agenda and making sure that people do not... I know, but come on. Give me something else here. This is a bit much. Okay, three, two, one. of a white Christmas just like the one black lives matter has come to know please shooting black people

down as their Christmas shopping blood in the streets Okay. Don't you know? Come on, guys. Bang, bang, pop. Okay, no.

Stop, stop, stop. Mr. William, now, Black Lives Matter is a very relevant movement right now. And there is, you know, an upswell, an uprising of the black community in. I know what Black Lives Matter is. I know what's going on. We're very aware of it. We're all sympathetic towards it. I know the police force is working on it, community leaders are working on it, politicians are working on, we need to stop any type of unnecessary or unwarranted violence against black people.

Of course nobody wants that, but come on, you're bastardizing a Christmas classic. Well, Mr. William, you know, we're just trying to shine the light on things and illuminate people. Yes, you've said that. Do you have anything else? Because it's starting to wear on me a little bit here. These are Christmas classics and your... Well, let me try this one. Clark, you ready for one more?

I should lamb. Okay, Mr. William, let me get him. Three, two, one. It's beginning to lurk a lot like date rape. Now the investigation's done. Seaman analyzed in a tray Revealed your DNA And it looks like you're going away

Oh, it's beginning to look a lot like date rape Everywhere you smear Okay, that's enough Oh my, are you kids beginning to look a lot like date rape Now, Mr. Williams, I hear your voice getting agitated here and I can tell you as a professor of social sciences and studying human behavior and human patterns, that date rape is a very, very serious social scar.

I know that date rape is horrible. Nobody wants to be date raped. Have you ever been date rape, Mr. William? No, I haven't been date rape, but what's... I hate to be challenging here, Professor, but what is all this stuff really got to do with Christmas? It almost seems like you're exploiting. Mr. Williams, I'm just trying to make sure that during this festive time of year,

we don't lose sight of social plight. Now, there are so many people that have... I know, sir, but this feels a little on the nose over the head. Can you give me something that's a little lighter, something that maybe our listeners can tap their feet to, hummed to feel good about, you still get your message, across, but it doesn't have to be so right in our faces. Well, I'm sorry if I got a little heavy handed there, Mr. Williams, I'm sure that maybe

a lot, maybe we just pull it back a little bit. I'm sure we can accommodate that. Let me ask, Clark, are you ready for one more Christmas carol? I certainly am. Okay, here we go, Mr. McClot, ready, one, two, three. Chest meat roasting on an open fire Teenagers buried underneath the floor Serial killers having sex with the bodies that they beat Merry calf meat marry the name of the abducted victim

her family will never find in a shallow grave Okay, stop, stop, stop, enough I'm sorry, I'm stopping it Did you say chest meat roasting on an open fire? Well, now, Mr. Williams, I think everyone remember Jeffrey Dahmer This is a young white Caucasian gentleman that lived in a regular community, in a regular town, and this man was cannibalizing his victims.

He was eating them alive, and there are serial killers. There were John Wayne Gacy who buried teenagers under his house, Mr. Williams. I mean, God knows the hateful sins that these men perpetrated against their fellow human beings. And I think at Christmas especially, we have to be extra vigilant, shine the light on these flesh eaters, these. All right. Good Lord. Are you, chestnuts roasting, chest meat roasting on an open,

you know what, that's it. I'm cutting it off. Mr. William, we have one more if you don't mind. No. I don't want any more of these morbid songs. I feel like I just walked through the House of Horrors Wax Museum or something. Now, Mr. William, that is very important stuff that I think people need to. No. Just one more. No, that's it. You go ahead, Clark. Go ahead.

Three, two, one. Now! Do you see what I see? A child, a child locked inside a car with no air to breathe. It's 190 degrees. Looks like he is bloating. His eyes, his eyes popping out his head, and he cooks until he. he is dead.

Yes, he bakes like a fresh loaf of bread. A child, a child baking in a car. He's fastly turning into tar. His little body's boiling into tar.

Okay, that's it. Hang up on him, Roger. Hang up. His eyes have popped. His skin is boiling bread. He looks like a lobster that's dead. No, no, hang up on him. Oh, Mr. Williams, the bucket.

Hang up on him. Good God! His eyes are popping out of his head. A child locked in a car? That was the worst phone call we ever could have taken at Christmas. Are you kidding me? Get him off. Good Lord, I feel sick.

Oh, my God. This might have ruined Christmas for me. I mean, I just, I don't know if I can get these stupid songs out of my head. Francine the crack whore. Chest meat roasting on an open, oh, pedophile, o pedophile? It's beginning to look a lot like date rape. Are you, what the hell? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas just like the one Black Lives Matter used to know.

Unbelievable. Roger, you really pulled a stink bomb this time, bro. I'm just too upset. I'm going to finish the show right now. I'm done and done. It's just, I'm done. It's over. You know what?

Here's what we'll do. So we go out on a positive, play a real Christmas carol. Play one of Toby's Christmas carols. My buddy Toby Hosk, he does an alter ego, Rudy Carsoni. He has a great album called Snowballs. up online. Look on YouTube. Look on Gmail, whatever you want. Rudy Carsoni's Snowballs. Let's play one of his Christmas songs and go out on a high note. God. It's like the sugar without the

plum it's like that little boy without his drum it's like your eyes without their blue it just ain't christmas without you it's like the missus it's like the missus without the toe It's like the ribbon Without the bow Can't ring in a year With nothing new It just ain't Christmas

Without you One day I know You'll come back like the snow will be together you and me it'll be like christmas every day when i find you under my tree it's like the yule without the tide it's like the sleigh without the ride well my Christmas dream finally come true

it just ain't Christmas without you without you it just ended Christmas my little baby without you without you

Oh, yes, there is a beautiful Christmas song. Like I said, that's Toby Haas, actor friend of mine. He does this character, Rudy Carsoni, that is just hilarious and does some great Christmas tunes. His album's called Snowballs, S-A-Postrophe N-O-Balls, Rudy Kassoni, C-S-O-N-I. Look it up on the Internet and order your own copy because it is just chock full of great songs. We're going to end the show here.

I'm going to play right after the credits here. I'm going to play a final scene from a Christmas story. It's that famous scene where the brady little kid puts his tongue on the frozen pole and it gets stuck. It's a great scene. We'll end with that, but before we go, just want to remind you, you can write me at harlomwilliams.com. You can phone me and leave a voicemail. 323, 739, 43330.

Check out our merchandise store at harlewilums.com. We can mail some fun stuff to you. Might even get there before Christmas if you do it like today. But after that, I can't really promise it gets there on time. Don't forget our app. You can download our free app at your app store. Just type in the Harland Highway podcast or the Harland Highway. Boom, it's yours for free.

The most current episodes, up to 50 current episodes. And then if you pay $20 a year, you get the premium package and you get over 800 episodes of the Harland Highway, more than most podcasters out there, trust me. And all kinds of other bonus stuff. live stand-up recordings, interviews, just kooky, nutty stuff that I do on the side. And we appreciate you joining and helping out $20 a year,

get you all that. So become a premium member and feel special. So phone in, write in. I hope you're having a great, great holiday. Merry, Merry Christmas to all of you. Happy Hanukkah. Kwanza, whatever you're celebrating. I hope it's a great time of year for you and your loved ones.

So here we go. Let's close the show with a final scene from a Christmas story. See the movie this holiday. You won't regret it. It doesn't matter what your faith is. I think you'll get a lot out of it. Here's that final scene where one of the kids gets dared to lick an ice cold flag. pole and his tongue

get stuck. Hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas, and until next time, chicken. Chao-Me. Baby. You're full of beans and so's your own man. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Says who. Says me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I double

dare you. The exact exchange and nuance of phrase in this ritual is very important. Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole. That's dumb. That's cause you know Stick. You're full of it.

Oh, yeah? Yeah! Well, I double dog dare ya! Now it was serious. A double dog dare. What else was left but a triple dare you? And finally, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple dog dare. I triple dog dare you!

Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat. All right, all right. Come on, Karen. Well, go on, smart-ass and do it. I'm going, I'm going. Flick spying stiffened. His lips curled in a defiant sneer. There was no going back now.

This is nice. Look! Fuck! See! It really worked! What are they going to do with? What are they going to do? Ah!

Ah! Hey! Come back! Come back! Tell me to come back! The bellwreck! What are we going to do? I don't know.

Why? Yeah! Yonle! Come back! Come back! Come back! Come back! Ah!