The Harland Highway - 829 - After Xmas afterglow. Getting fired up for new year!

Episode Date: December 26, 2016

Harland talks about the coming year. A new president and the ever changing world. Also, Xmas afterglow! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, hey, hey, it's Harlem Williams. How are you today? Welcome to the Harland Highway podcast, where we will stimulate you. We will, who knows what we'll do to you. But you're going to find out. I'm the host, Harlem Williams. And today we're going to be talking about, you know, the afterglow of after Christmas. You know, the quiet before the storm of the storm of the new year we're going to talk about that we're going to talk about the state of the world society the country we're going to uh we're going to we're going to we're going to talk about the pros and cons of of the regime change of our presidency the shift in power how things are going to look good or bad i don't know we'll discuss it all but let's have fun this is the

Harland Highway. What am I? What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What are you talking about Williams? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck.

Oh God, what's happening here? What's happening? Hey, Harlan, it's Shelby. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is not.

That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway. What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man.

You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Well, how was it? How was your Christmas? How was you? I hope it was you, I hope it went well. for you yesterday, the Christmas, that you've got lots of gifts and the presents.

I don't know why I'm doing Rabbi Pappenheim, but I am. Oh, man. This is like the afterglow. You know, you know, when you have a good round of lovemaking, right? And afterwards, you're just lay in the bed, right? The sheets are warm, and you're kind of half asleep, and you just feel, you're just like, nothing matters, right? Isn't that what it's like today?

After Christmas, all the presents are open. There's still presents under the tree, but now they're open. There's dishes, there's wrapping paper, there's pine needles on the floor. There's just that feeling like, ah, after. Christmas afterglow. They should do a Christmas carol for after Christmas. Maybe I'll write that. Maybe me and my cousin will write a Christmas carol for the day after Christmas. I think we need it, right? Because it's just like, it's like everything ramps up. It's like, nah, no, no, Christmas is coming. Christmas is coming. Christmas is coming. It's like a motorcycle riding up the ramp. And then the motorcycle falls off the end of the ramp. Like the day after Christmas, it's just like, okay, done, everyone go home. See you later, goodbye.

All that joy and love and merrymen, just put it in a suitcase, shove it in the closet. It's done. It's done. It's finished. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, well, no, I think we need a smoother transition back down. It's like you ramp up

and then you should be able to ride down the other side of the hill. Not just drop off a cliff, We shouldn't be running up the Christmas cliff and dropping off the other side. No. So maybe that's my goal for next year to do it. And after Christmas, Christmas Carol, just to help people with the transition back to normality. But outside of that shock, it's kind of relaxing. This is like kind of, now this is what I call the dead period, the dead pool.

Between Christmas and New Year's, it just like, it just feels like jobs don't exist. It feels like work doesn't exist. It feels like if humans didn't work, right, if there was no rat race, what if humans just woke up every day and milled around and then went to sleep, right? They had no real function, they had no real purpose, no direction, no aim, no goals. Just like zombies in the apocalypse Just milling around You know Just wandering around in the streets

Bumping into each other Bunk, sorry You know, driving nowhere Just sitting in your house That's what this week is like And it's nice It's actually a good week It's just it's kind of like

this is the ramp up to the new year, right? Because unlike Christmas, it's like Christmas, it's like, boom, boom, boom, it's here. This is like the ramp up towards New Year's. And it's calm and a lot of people aren't at work. And it's kind of enjoyable, man. But then the new year comes, man. And it's going to be a tumultuous year.

It's going to be an interesting year. I think it's going to be an aggressive year. We have a new president coming in. and it's amazing it's almost like he's here already right it's it's like he's doing all this stuff it's like obama's already like in the rearview mirror man he's like history i mean trump is is such a such a like a firewall coming in man i mean the guy's not even president yet and he's already like putting the world on notice he's letting him know that the america ain't getting pushing around anymore. America ain't taking the terrorist bullshit sitting down. It's time to fight back.

It's time to put people on notice. He's even putting this country on notice. He's already telling companies and industries to stop, stop fucking around. Stop stealing from your own purse. It's time to start supporting your own country with your business and your hiring practices and you're manufacturing. It's like he's trying to bring things back home and everyone's sitting up and going Hey, whoa, what, what? Like Obama, it's

like everyone's been taking a nap for eight years. It's just been like, yeah, okay, President Obama, everybody hold hands. Everybody sing kumbaya. Here we go. Oh, what? There was a red line in Aleppo in Syria? Well, we don't

need to cross that. What? There's terrorists. Well, we won't even name them. I mean, we won't even put a name. We don't want to be harassed by terrorists, so we won't even acknowledge them by giving them a name. You know, we'll just, everything's chill. It's okay. Let's pretend

the world's a safe, fairyland, where nothing bad happens. Nobody's aggressive. And we'll just, well, I'll just, you know. I mean, that's what it feels like with the Trumpster coming in, man. And you may be fearful.

and have anxiety about Trump acting and coming in and being this kind of this giant wall of like America? Or you may be like, yeah, baby, it's about time. Let's go. Let's get America back to the way it was. Let's get America up and running here. Let's pull this old car out of the barn and take all the dust and the rust off it

and tune up the engine. And let's fucking tear down the... the highway, man. Or for some of you, that might be too aggressive. I mean, what are we saying here when we're revving our engine and we're opening up the

throttle and we're shifting gears and we're speeding? I mean, are there no speed limits? Shouldn't we drive quietly and and, you know, just not ruffle any feathers? Well, unfortunately, the rest of the

world doesn't operate that way. The rest of the world is loud and noisy and aggressive. Freaking China. China's building its own islands. In the China Sea or wherever the hell it is, the Yellow Sea or somewhere over there, the Pacific Rim, I don't know where it is. It's over there. But those are international waterways.

Look, I'm no expert. but that could potentially, in my opinion, ramp up to be the trigger for World War III. China is moving earth and dropping earth onto coral reefs in the ocean into international waters, international shipping lanes. They're building islands and they're putting airports on them and they're militarizing them. They're building them up with their military. it's a communist country in international waters

international means everybody owns that space that's like if China decided to just come in to the middle of the country and drop you know put a giant fence around half of Oklahoma and start building shit and saying hey too bad man

yeah we decided we want to build shit in the middle of Oklahoma we don't care like you just can't do that and if they militarize that that zone which it looks like they have every intention of doing and they start trying to control those international shipping lanes and they start trying to use the the military bases there to try and control Taiwan and and Japan and all the countries around there South Korea I mean holy smokes it's aggressive man and I'm sorry but you know someone who just sits back

and watches that um that's not that's not good for us and it's not good for the world so I don't know man it might be a good thing that we have someone in there like Trump who's staffing up with like hard ass military personnel generals

guys who understand and I hate to use this term the art of war because you know I I hate to think that war has anything to do with art, but I guess like any tactical endeavor, there's an artistry to it, which is kind of gross and twisted, but I didn't come up with the term.

But I'd rather have people that are well-informed and well-educated in the art of war than people that are just civilians that don't have a freaking clue, and they're running our national defense. And some of you are like, Yeah, man, let's go. And some of you're like, oh, my God, this is going to lead to World War III.

Well, nobody wants that. But I would rather have a country that's prepared and scares other people who might think of invading or attacking us. If you think America's just going to go on forever as the cheesecake factory in your local mall, and, you know, skipping down the street in Times Square on New Year's Eve, You're wrong. History shows us that there's always going to be an aggressor. The world, there's always going to be someone at the top of the totem pole. And can I just ask you, wouldn't you rather it be the United States than any other major superpower? Would you rather Russia be at the top of the power chain?

Would you rather China be at the top of the power chain and not us? You can say, well, it's okay. they'll be nice that no. You're talking about a communist country, a communist regime, a former communist country. You're talking about people that don't have the same values or ideals as we have across the board. I'm not saying they're bad people, but I'm saying, wouldn't you rather have what we represent at the top of the totem pole

than any other country in the world? I don't know, man. And when I say any other country in the world, I'm talking about the big ones, the ones with different ideology, the ones that are aggressive that have the power to, if they wanted to, take over this country. Look, we're all sensitive. I don't know how sensitive you are. You may be anti-violent. You may be anti-military. You may be pro-military. I don't know how. It doesn't matter how sensitive you are. if you don't have the power to control your environment and possibly other people around you that would try to do you harm, you don't have anything. You don't have the airspace to be sensitive.

Turn on the news, man. Have you seen these poor people in Syria that are homeless, that are wandering through rubble, they're trudging through the snow? They're being bombed by their own freaking leader. their own government. They're living in hell. That's the face of war.

That's the face of having an oppressive power puts you around and take you over, and you've got to be able to stand up against any of those challenges in this crazy world. So I don't want to be preachy here, but, you know, and I know you guys, some of you guys are Obama supporters, but you got to admit that that guy was very passive, very non-aggressive, very, uh, kind of, you know, let's hope for the best.

Well, that's not the place we live in, man. Unfortunately, I wish, I think we all wish it was. But, uh, it's a mad, mad, mad world. And, uh, who knows? Trump could turn out to be really good or Trump could turn out to be a nightmare. Who knows? But we're going to find out. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have

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check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. And here's a little thing that maybe will help you kind of get out your frustration. Maybe this is how you feel? Listen to this clip. Maybe this is how you feel about the world we live in and you want to change it. You want to say something. You want to move it maybe in a Trump direction or against a Trump direction. This could apply to whatever mindset you're in. Have a listen. I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. We know the air is

unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat. We sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had 15 homicides and 63 violent crimes as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad, worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house and slowly the world we're living and is getting smaller and all we say is please at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel belted radios and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone. Well, I'm not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad. I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to ride. I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write.

I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say I'm a human being. God damn it! My life has value! So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chest. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. Oh, yeah, man. That's invigorating, isn't it? And maybe, you know, that's kind of how I feel about Trump's candidacy, that he's just kind of like, fuck this.

Fuck the politicians. Fuck the system. Fuck the way we've been doing things. It ain't servicing anybody. It ain't working. We're just stuck in neutral and we're being bullshitted to and lied to and conned and our money's being spent irresponsibly.

And I almost feel like Trump was this guy. And you may hate him, you may love him. Maybe you'll give him a chance. Maybe he'll prove you wrong. Maybe he'll be twice as bad as what you thought. But at least the guy has some passion. At least he hasn't just. been sitting there, you know, going on the

view and going on Zach Aliphonakis and, you know, flashing his charming smile and trying to be smooth and suave and, you know, come on, man. We're living in a nutty, crazy world and

it's nice to know we got a guy at the helm that's got some ass kicking left in him. And that could be his downfall. That could be a huge negative, but maybe it's a huge positive, but can we all just kind of maybe root for the guy and hope that it works for the best? It feels like there's so many people rooting against Donald Trump. They're still stuck in all these sound bites. They were fed by the media that he's a

racist and he's a homophom and he's this and he hates women and this and that. Well, look at his freaking cabinet. The first people he picked were women. Give the guy a chance. It's almost like one of these underdog movies that you see, you know? Every few years there's a movie about the, you know, the black football player, you know, the blind side where everyone thought he was useless and he couldn't do. And then he stepped up to the plate and he was amazing. Or you get the, you know, the kid that's mentally challenged. Everyone thinks he's a weird mentally challenged kid like Rudy.

It's like these sports movies, you know? And everyone mocks them and makes fun of them and tells them how inadequate he is and how stupid his ideas are. Right? It's like Willie Mays. Remember when they wouldn't allow black people into the major leagues?

And they were scorned and called names and said they didn't have ability and they were assholes and this and that. But what happened? They stepped up to the plate. May stepped up to the plate, man. And he let his action speak. He hammered the ball over the wall.

And it wasn't because nobody, you know, believed in him. It wasn't because anyone gave him a chance. He believed in himself, and he knew what he had in his heart. He knew what he was capable of. And regardless of all the scorn and the jeering and the slander and the cruelty and the mean names and the doubt. And the naysaying, he just kept plowing through, man. He just kept walking up to the plate and hitting the ball over the wall.

And what did he do? He moved a country. He moved a generation. He moved a race of people. He changed people's minds. And this Donald Trump, it seems like so many people are so hell-bent on just putting them down and standing on the back of his neck. and putting the screws into him.

For what? Because he wants to make the country great again? Is that why you want to keep him down? Because he wants to make your life better, hopefully? And can he do everything right? Is he Jesus? Is he God? No, but can he at least try?

People are acting like, you know, he got elected, and he's like, okay, I'm going to come to your house and take three of your children and execute them. You, I want you to go work in a slave labor camp. You have to die because I don't like the smile on your face. You people are all going to move you to a warehouse near the ocean. It's like this is a guy talking about improving the roads and the airports and the bridges and the buildings. This is a guy who wants to create a better health plan.

He wants to take the good parts of Obamacare and move those and make it even better health care. care plan for people that's cheaper, more affordable, it works better. Here's the guy who wants to make the military strong and say to the rest of the world, don't try and fuck with us. Here's a guy that wants to try and weed out dangerous people, which makes sense. When there's people out there that are trying to kill you and hurt you and harm you, you can't just stand there and watch people walk in. You've got to, you've got to probe, you've got to have to have to have to have to

ask questions, you've got to make sure you know you're getting the right people. And without stepping on their human rights and their dignity, you don't want to disqualify anybody or make anyone feel like garbage. But if you had a party at your house and someone said to you, you know what, there's 50 people coming to your party, three of them are going to try and sneak guns in and kill people. Would you not screen the people coming into your house for your party? Yes, you would. It's just common sense.

You don't want to. You don't want to single people out for a race or a creed or a color, but you got to take safety precautions. And why are you doing it? Because you want to make sure that people at your party are safe. You don't want people to come to a party or live in the middle of their prime, in the middle of their lives and get killed just for living. and it sucks it sucks that there's bad people in the world and it sucks that we have to

implement rules to weed out the bad people but that's that's not our fault that's their fault they created this atmosphere and and if you don't deal with it if you just pretend it doesn't exist so you just think it's going to go away well then your family your children your loved ones could be next how are you going to feel when it's your husband or wife or son or daughter that gets run down by a truck while they're out shopping at the mall? How are you going to feel when it's your family that blows out of the air in an airplane? How are you going to feel when it's your teenage children that get shot to death when they're at a rock concert? You've got to do something, man. And hopefully, hopefully there's a way

to do it that's respectful to all people but you can't just do nothing and you can't stand on a soapbox like Angela Merkel does and just you know let a million strangers into your country

and not know who they are and then you get to walk around to go aren't I great aren't I a wonderful person aren't I superior to the rest of me because I'm such a humanitarian well you're not a humanitarian if people start dying. You're not a humanitarian if your own people get run down in the street by a truck.

In fact, you helped that happen by trying to be such a humanitarian. You enabled that. You indirectly are responsible for those deaths because you wanted to appear so giving and generous to the rest of the world. you wanted to be such a beacon of light on the hill that you forgot that there's consequences. You forgot that maybe there's a proper way and an improper way to do it. Of course we all want to be generous.

Of course we all want to be giving. Of course we all want to lend a hand to those people walking in the bombed out streets of Syria. Oh, my God! Those poor, poor people. But it's not like everyone there is just walking out of a sewing class. They're walking out of a terrorist-riddled,

disruptive, violent environment that's rife with bad people in their midst. And sadly, you've got to take precautions. It's like there's certain breeds of fish that get dumped into local. rivers and waterways in America. There's the Chinese carp, there's the snakefish. These are real fish, and what happens is they slowly start to work their way up the river,

and they're devastating to the rest of the populations of fish. They eat them, they destroy them, they eat their eggs, they take their breeding ground, and eventually they take over and annihilate the fish that are native to those. waterways. And so what happens is the Department of Lands and Forests or fisheries or whoever, they figure out ways to stop the influx of these fish, these predatory fish, these fish that are harmful to the native species. These were foreign fish that were dumped in the waterways from a pet shop or from a fisherman or someone who owned an aquarium. They're not native. And what they're doing is wiping out all the other fish.

And so the fisheries departments are putting up nets and they're putting up, you know, ways to stop or inhibit the progression of these foreign fish that are just causing damage. And we're kind of, you know, in the same kind of parallel universe where we've got to figure out a way to stop bad, to filter out bad people. from coming to this country in the most humane way possible. I mean, if we can stop fish from killing other fish, we should be able to stop humans from stopping other humans. And it's sad, it's ugly, it makes, you know, it makes some people feel like they're being victimized, but until we figure all this out, it's going to be a little bit of a dance.

so let's see what the new year brings man let's hope we can figure this out in a in a humane way in a way that's respectful of all races and people and religions and and let's hope we can find out a way to to make all this madness stop because you know i hate to say it gang you know this year there's going to be bodies piling up somewhere in America and whether you're for or against Trump or four or against the words I've just said or four against this or that or this or that at the end of the day somebody's got to take leadership and try and put a stop to it so there you go wow it will be very very very

interesting to see how all this plays out. Hopefully, hopefully, for all you listening, it all works out for the best. Hopefully, everybody wins. Hopefully, a lot of these problems around the world and in our own country can be resolved in a humane, respectful, inclusive way for everyone. You know, there's always people to get their nose bent out of shape or have their toes stepped on. But at the end of the day, if you're doing something that's hopefully good for all the people in the end, you know, nothing's easy. There's always hurt. There's always pain.

Everyone's always kind of got to suffer through things in order for things to come out the other end and settle. And hopefully it's stuff we can all live with and cope. with and feel morally centered and happy with and nobody's left sitting on the sidelines. We'll see. We'll see. Let's see what happens. And that's that's my after Christmas memo. I went from saying, oh, there's nothing going on. Everything's calm. Everyone, this is the week where everything's just calm. And here I am. I'm whipping everyone. one up. I'm like, oh, here we go. But it's true, man. It's what's going to happen. So there you go. There's my two cents worth. And let's see what happens. A little introspection as the year dwindles out here. And we'll leave it right there.

Fun way to end the show with a little introspection. We'll get back to the more comedic comedic beats on the next podcast because, of course, that will be our New Year's Eve episode. I'm just praying that my boss, Mr. Featherstone, doesn't make me do something stupid. The last few years, he's made me do the day. the guy drop last year he had me do the the velociraptor on ice episode and his idea of new year's eve rating getters is a lot different than what I would do but we'll find out

so there you go hope y'all had a merry merry Christmas let's have a fun happy new year and we'll look forward to another year of the harland highway can you believe it it. So that's it. We'll leave it right there. I don't really have any announcements. Just make sure you get our app for your phone. Go into your app store.

Type in the Harlan Highway and you have the app right there on your phone. You can listen to the show wherever you may be on your phone with your headsets. Check out our store, Harlowilliams.com. You can write to me there or you can even phone. 323 739, 433.30. And I look forward to hearing from you. All right, there you go. Since right in the middle of it, I'll say it again.

Happy holidays. And until next time, chicken, shall me, baby. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore.