The Harland Highway - 830 - GEORGE MICHAEL passes away. Mr. Featherstone New Years plans

Episode Date: December 29, 2016

A chat about the life of the late, great George Michael. Harland's boss, Mr. Fetherstone comes up with New Years moneymaking scheme. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year, everybody. Happy New Year, happy New Year, happy New Year. Although we're ending the year on a sad note, someone very near and dear to us here on the Harlan Highway has passed away on Christmas Day. Oh, my gosh. So brokenhearted. George Michael has passed away.

We're going to take your phone calls. We're going to read your emails. We're going to dedicate part of the show just talking about the late great George Michael. Just a sad, sad thing. And then also on the show, apparently my boss, Mr. Featherstone, is coming down to the studio. Apparently he's got some crazy new marketing scheme that he wants to do to replace me going out and doing a New Year's Eve podcast this year. So he's all about commercializing the podcast, trying to make money off it. I'm almost scared to hear what his plans are, but he's the boss, so I have to listen to him.

He'll be in the studio later, Mr. Featherstone. Also, I want to play a wonderful inspirational, uplifting, positive phone message I got from one of the pavement pounders. This thing just lit my candle, made me feel great, and I thought I should share it with you guys, because it was such a generous and wonderful phone message. So here we go, gang. show of 2016. This is the Harland Highway Where are I?

What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What you're talking about Williams? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh God, what's happening here? What's happened? Hey, Harland, it's Shelby.

You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because They are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. That's wrong with everybody in this crazy place. The Harland Highway.

What is it? The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic.

Oh boy. What a sad. sad way to remember Christmas from now on. Our beloved friend, a huge musical talent, a friend who used to call this podcast regularly, George Michael, singer-songwriter, producer, extraordinaire, has passed away on Christmas Day, 2016. very very sad and I think all of you are sharing in the sadness

dude I think drunk George Michael's just passed away and I think he's just trying to call I wish he was calling and unfortunately poor George Michael has passed away and perhaps we'll never be calling it again unless maybe we have a seance or something but many of you are feeling the grief. Oh, Holland, I am so saddened today. I just got word of George fucking Michael dying. I don't know what to do now. I hope you sure share a tribute to him on your podcast.

Please do so, my friend. Chicken chow main. Oh, yes, tears, tears. and we are doing a little tribute here. The first part of the show, we will talk about our dearly de-loven past, George. Michael, it all came to us as a sudden shock, a surprise. A man of only 53 years old has a heart attack and dies suddenly on Christmas Day.

Arlen, this is that. So, as I'm sure you've seen by now, we lost George Michael. it's really upsetting I know you you two are going to have a love-hate relationship going on so I didn't know how this is going to affect you

being that George Michael is no longer going to be calling the show or I know maybe this ghost might call but then again that might be too soon anyways I hope that you'll take

some time out on podcast to reflect on this and let us know what you think Until next time, chicken chalmain, baby. Yes, Zach, you know what? I am going to take a moment to reflect because we've had a lot of fun with George Michael. You know what, Roger, no more funeral music. Put on one of George Michael's songs.

Let's try and bring this up a little so we're not all depressed. And I'm going to talk about my memories and the influence and the good times we had with George Michael. Hit it the music, Rod. Oh, there it is. Oh, careless whisper. How many times did we hear this when George Michael called into the podcast? Oh, I'm wailing with George Michael.

You know what, in all seriousness, rest in peace, George Michael. You know, I used to have. have him call in the show. And, you know, I did it just because I always found him to be an interesting character. He was, you know, he was this huge pop star. He kind of popped a life in the 80s with this kind of real kind of foofy boy band, rock band, pop band, Wham, where he was matched up with an equally kind of sexually ambiguous, kind of, you know, interesting guy

something Ridgely his last name was Ridgley Brian Ridgley or I don't even remember his full name and then George George splintered off and he became

you know a solo guy and then he kind of had some real artistic conflicts with the big music labels that he signed with he was really embittered and he was really angry and and sour and there was all these lawsuits and money and all this creativity all of this stuff you know colliding and then there was george who got mixed up into some early sexual activity

homosexual activity at a time you know in the early 80s when it was still kind of taboo to be gay and uh and then he got into trouble with some sexual activity in california you got caught doing some indecent things in an outhouse or something or a men's bathroom in Beverly Hills or down at the beach or something. And then he kind of got into some weird situations in his hometown in London where he got into all these car crashes and he was caught with heroin and he had drinking problems and, you know, he became a bit of a train wreck. But I just always thought he had an interesting life and an interesting life.

and an interesting personality. And in my quest to always kind of have the absurd and the quirky on my podcast, I just thought he would be a real kind of fun, oddball, quirky character to be part of the podcast. And I got a kick out of like pretending he was calling the show and I got a kick out of doing his voice, you know, because he was always drunk and he didn't like it that I called him by, one name instead of both his names, George Michael. And, you know, sometimes I portrayed him as lonely and just he wanted a friend and he was frustrated and he was upset.

And he just wanted people to love him. He was a bit of a susceptible character. And even though I had fun with him, I also kind of hope that people had sympathy for him and that they, you know, at the end of the day, loved him because he was hurting and he was flawed and he was vulnerable. But yet he also had this other side to him where he was a huge A-list celebrity and probably had the world at his feet,

but didn't know how to manipulate it, didn't know how to drive that car, so to speak. And so I tried to mind some comedy out of it. And, you know, I tried not to be mean about it. I tried not to be, you know, cruel about it, but just kind of fun. And I secretly always wished. And I wonder to this day, because I know my podcast plays in the UK and, hello to all you in the United Kingdom. How are you? Nice to hear you, even though I can't hear you.

But I often wondered if somehow, through the Zodian, social media or through a friend of a friend of a friend or I wondered if it ever trickled back to him. I wonder if he ever heard any of the George Michael episodes. I would be tickled pink to know that maybe George Michael laid in bed at night and listened and never said anything. I doubt it. I highly doubt it. But I always used to secretly wish that one day I would hear from him or hear from his people, whether it was a cease and assist order from his lawyer, like, hey, you got to stop making fun of George Michael. If you do it once more, we're going to sue your ass. Or if, you know, George Michael just called in one day and said, hey, look, this is

the real George Michael. I love the way you take the piss out of me, mate. I fucking love it. It's so fucking funny. It's ridiculous, but it's funny. don't know. I doubt that he ever heard it. But for those of you in the UK, you know, I've never got a call on the Harlan hotline from anyone from the United Kingdom. This would be a great time to, if there's any of you in the UK that listen to the podcast and you listen to the George Michael segments, I would love to hear from my pavement pounders in the United Kingdom. None of them have ever found. And it hurts, man. It hurts. So maybe this is a good excuse for some of you you brits, you lovely Brits,

put up the telly, give me, leave me a message, right? Talk to me. Give me a little, a little shout out about George Michael or whatnot, right? I would love to hear from you guys. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes? Yes, the answer is yes.

You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy,

all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off. One item and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out.

That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping, Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. But on a more serious note, George Michael was a real mega talent. He was a very talented guy and he was a controversial guy

and he wrote songs that all of us have probably danced to or sung to or jumped around to or dance to or made love to or whatever. It is not easy to write a hit song, let alone to write, you know, 10 or 15 or whatever he had. And I came to really like the guy, and you're talking to a guy who kind of, you know, I grew up on, my thing was heavy metal, Black Sabbath and Jimmy Hendrix and Led Zeppelin. And then I got into like The Prodigy, and I like that heavy sound. But I also liked, I like soft, soothing, hip-hoppy, you know, sentimental music. And George Michael kind of, if you listen to his albums, he had songs that were really poppy and danceable and just fun and goofy.

And he also had songs that were very slow and melodical. And there were songs that, if you listen to his lyrics, were painful and expressed his take on life. and maybe some of his feelings about love and relationships and people and pain and sorrow and hurt and also joy and life. And, you know, he was a deep guy. He was actually, you know, from what I can pick up, a deep guy. I never met him. I never talked to him, but I did end up, you know, I'm not the most likely candidate for listening to George Michael, but I actually, actually did.

I got a lot of enjoyment And I'll continue to get a lot of enjoyment out of them And not only that, but George Michael was around During a pivotal part of my life You know, this is a guy that was around Like, right after I got out of college This was a guy that I would hear on the radio And watch on early MTV when MTV just broke

He was right there He was one of the early guys to have videos In the world of the rock video And he was there when I was getting out of college and I was just starting life and I was scared and terrified and didn't know where I was going to work and where I was going to go

and what I was going to do and I you know I didn't know if I'd have a girlfriend if I'd get married if I'd have kids if I'd have a job if I'd you know I didn't know and here was this guy that was always singing in the background

as the beats of my life started to unfold and you know it's you know he was there through certain girlfriends. He was there through certain jobs. He was there through certain places in my life. I remember when I moved and lived in Germany for a while, I would listen to him on my Walkman. I remember, you know, when I was starting my stand-up career. I remember when I'd traveled to my first comedy clubs and bars to play do stand-up. I'd see them up on the video screen. And so this guy was, you know,

part of the fabric of my life and maybe that's also why I carried them into into my podcast because I actually had an affection for the guy and I guess maybe in a roundabout way I thought it might be actually hip to have a guy like him who had kind of faded from the spotlight I thought it might be hip to have a guy like George Michael calling my show of all people George Michael you know kind of forgotten kind of washed up but I think he was one of those guys we always believed we I think most of us

always thought oh this guy's gonna come back he's going through a rough patch he'll be back he's too talented he's not a flash in the pan this guy you know he's going through the drinking and the heroin and whatever he's going through but he's going to come back huge with a huge album and I always believed it

so in closing thank you everyone for your phone calls and there's also a lot of letters i'll read some of the letters later on at the end of the podcast um about george michael that you guys sent but in closing i just i guess i want to say thank you to george michael for all the beautiful music and joy and you know all the all the good positive things he brought to all of us you know all the all the good music all the good memories of this podcast, the good kind of fun we had with him, even though he might not have been aware of it, you know, hopefully his name, his persona, through my antics, brought you guys some

laughter. And even if he didn't like his music, because of him, you might have benefited from some extra laughter. So, and I certainly had fun doing it, and it was never intended with any malice or mean-spirited if you know if someone from michael's camp or ever to hear this crazy podcast it was always it always came from a deep rooted place of affection and caring and love and you know gratefulness that that he injected a lot of beautiful music a lot of joy into my heart and uh hopefully to yours and and i got to say that you know his christmas carol last christmas i gave you my heart

became one of my favorite Christmas carols. It's hard to create a modern Christmas carol. Think about it. They're all old. They're all like chestnuts roasting on Noel Frosty. They're all like 90 years old. And it's very difficult to create a brand new Christmas carol that people will accept and play.

You know, it becomes a classic. And he did it. I think last Christmas I gave you my heart kind of fits right into that playlist. So that was always, you know, I always used to drive around in my car every Christmas and I'd be like, okay, I know it's Christmas time when I hear George Michael singing last Christmas with Wham. And so a lot of great memories. Rest in peace, George Michael.

And for those of you that wonder if he'll ever be back on the show, I don't know if he'll reach out from the dead. But I did get a memo from Roger. Roger just sent me a memo through the glass here on my computer that apparently Boy George, another 80s icon, is a little too shook up right now, but apparently he's going to be calling in in the new year early in January, Boy George from Culture Club. Do you see where this is going? Boy George will be calling in to talk to us about George Michael's tragic death. So thank you, everyone, for your letters, your phone calls. I hope you had as much fun and got as much joy from George Michael as I did.

George, if you're listening, we love you. Rest in peace. Thank you for your gifts. Thank you for everything. And Roger, let's move on. I think we have, not that the segment we just did was negative, but I want to jump into something that's even more enlightening. something to lift the spirits a little bit after talking about George Michael's death. I just got a wonderful Christmas voicemail from one of the pavement pounders.

Can we play that one, Roger? Because this one just lit me up, lifted my spirits, made me feel like a million bucks. Play this voicemail from one of our pavement pounders. Hey, Harlan, how's it going? It's Christmas Day. Just calling to wish you a Merry Christmas, man. I hope you're doing well and your side of the world there. Calling from Alberta, Canada, Alberta, whichever you figure.

But I just wanted to let you know, man, you know, I spent a little bit of time alone today driving here and there, and I was kept company with your show, and just wanted to know that what you do here means a lot to, I know me and a lot of people around the world. And, you know, you're always kind of a light at the end of the tunnel twice a week kind of thing, always a pick me up I know like you know during the election this year this crazy year we had you stayed positive

when people were getting you down and you know a lot of people in the same opinion you know can look to old Harlem Williams to keep them going and you know

keep them a float anyway I just want to let you know I appreciate everything you do both you know podcast or comedy you've been franginess since I was a young boy

but anyways Merry Christmas man I hope you have a good Christmas and I hope you have a good Christmas and I hope you have a good new year. Thank you. Are you kidding me? Oh, my God.

You know, what a wonderful, beautiful, amazing phone call message to receive. Now, this gentleman didn't leave his name, but I'm just going to call him Mr. Wonderful. I'll tell you what, bud, buddy, bud, buddy, bud, my broheme, brosuf. That, that, that, you have no idea the power. of that phone message. That just, you know, that just elevates my psyche to another level. You know, to hear that you get so much enjoyment out of the show,

that it means something to you that you can be driving or walking or sitting at work and I'm able to reach through your earbuds and put a smile on your face or put a thought in your brain or put some inspiration in your step or put some some questioning in your in your mind you know and to get that type of high praise from you and those type of compliments it uh it just um it just it just makes the heart swell and uh i i so much appreciate those those very kind words and uh i didn't want you to to uh you know not know that that that means so much to me thank you very much and that you know that's i've always said that to you to all you listeners that's why i do this it's it's really for the love of it

i i love that maybe i can have some type of um you know purpose or meaning in your life and it makes you feel good and happy and uh brings you some joy you know i ain't no george michael i can't sing those pop songs the way he did to put a smile on your face so i do this i do this i try to do this and i try to put a smile on your face well you're you're shitting at the food cart eating your vegetables but uh just a wonderful um wonderful wonderful voicemail i thank you so much Alberta Canada you know I lived up there for a while and you'll know this place the gentleman who called, there's a place called BAMF, BAMF, Alberta. It's a national park.

It's a provincial park within the province of Alberta, Canada, and one of the most stunning places you'll ever go in your life. The rivers and the lakes are turquoise green. The mountains are huge with, you know, the rocky mountains. You're in the most rugged part of the rocky mountains where they're towering and there's snowdrifts on the tips and wind blowing. them and herds of elk walking around and grizzly bears and mountain lions and I mean it is just you know mountain goats mountain sheep I've got so many wonderful stories out

of Banff and I think I've shared a few with you guys over the years but also I've worked in Edmonton I've worked in Calgary I've worked in red deer I've I've worked in all the little little towns and cities all over Alberta doing stand-up comedy always love the Albertans. They've always been so faithful and good to me as a fan base. And it seems like they've enjoyed my comedy. And so thank you so much. My shout out to all you Albertans that listen to the show. I truly appreciate it. Tell your friends to get

on this damn highway. And let them laugh too. But I got to tell you, that's the type of phone call that not only made me feel really good about this year, you know, closing out the year, like, to get that type of thanks and appreciation from somebody. But what an inspirational way to start the new year, right? Because here's a gentleman that says, keep on doing what you're doing. We love it, you know, you make me laugh, you like, so on and so on. And so it's almost like, it's almost like, you know, when you see a movie and there's a thing

called a crossfade between scenes where they'll fade out of one scene and then, fade right up into another scene. That's what your phone message was. It was fading out of 2016 with inspiration and hope and fading into 2017 with inspiration and hope. So thank you again so very much. Great, great phone message. And speaking of something not so great, and I've been holding off on this, but, oh, God, is he coming? He's in the hallway?

Okay, so apparently my boss, Mr. Featherstone, usually we go out and do something for New Year's Eve. And I guess this year he's got a change of plans. He's something, he's not happy about something. And so he's coming into my office to talk to me about it. And I don't know what he's got in mind. Is he, is he here? do a commercial and we come back, my boss, Mr. Featherstone, is going to be in the studio. Good Lord.

Here's something totally different. Summer's Eve, Feminine Wash, the first external feminine hygiene wash. It's non-iritating so you can feel fresh and confident every day. Summer's Eve Feminine Wash, the first cleanser for women only. Hello. Hello, sir. How are you? I'm doing good.

How are you? Well, good. I wasn't expecting you in the studio here today. Well, you better expect me in the studio. I own it. Well, that's true, Mr. Featherstone, sir. You better believe your fourth gear, it's true. My fourth gear?

I think you know what your fourth gear is. Sir? Uh-huh. Sir? Uh-huh. Sir, I'm... Why are you down here? Well, listen, we...

Now, let me put it bluntly. Okay. Your last few New Year's Eve, plod plops? Podcast, sir. Plods. Plod sclops. Podcast, sir. Don't raise your voice of me, Captain Doolittle. Captain Doolittle?

That's right. What do you mean our last podcast haven't done well? They've been a stink out. That's what they've been. A stink out? That's right. Kind of like the bad. are your funny little bars downtown.

Sir, I do not go to funny little bars downtown. Oh, really? Yes, that's right. Well, how about the shaved onion at 4th and 29th? The shaved onion. Uh-huh. Sir? Uh-huh.

Sir, can you get to the point? My point is, stinkle butt. Sir? My point is that your last three or four New Year's Eve, pod plops haven't made any money for my network. Well, that's not my fault, sir. You're the one that's set up, you had me do the guide drop and velociraptors on ice. Well, this year we're going to make some GD money.

Okay, how are we going to do that, Mr. Featherstone, sir? Well, if you listen to me and shut your pie hole. Sir, I'm just talking. And I'm talking too, so shut it like a bear trap wrapped around. fucking Hillary Clinton's cancels. Sir? Quiet. Yes, sir.

Now, here's how we're going to make money. Okay? You're going to do commercials. Wait a minute, sir. What kind of commercials? You're going to sell a new Christmas toy. What do you mean a Christmas toy, sir? You heard me.

But before I get into that, can I ask you something? Yes, sir? Have you ever farted on a lava lamp? Sir, I don't fart on things. Why would I fart on a lava lamp? Because it looks like solid fart bubbles blowing around in a glass jar. It looks like solid fart bubbles

blowing around in a glass jar. What are you, an echo chamber? Sir, how are we going to sell a toy? Well, we're going to make a crap load of money and finally get you out of the black. What are we selling, sir? It's a toy. Yes, you said it was a toy, but what is it?

Well, have you ever heard of this stupid toy, the elf on the shelf? What, the Christmas, the elf that sits on the shelf for Christmas? Yeah, that's right. That's why it's called elf on the shelf. It's not called elf on the toilet. Sir, I'm just making sure I know what you're saying. Elf on the shelf. It's the dumbest thing I ever heard you put a...

stupid elf doll up on a shelf and it sits there looks like it's taking a shit all over your library sir well it does what about elf on the shelf well this thing makes billions of dollars every year it's a stupid christmas toy what does that have to do with us making money for your network sir well i came up with a new toy and you're going to do commercials and you're going to sell it Wait, what, what is this toy? What am I selling? Elf on the shelf? No, it's my own creation.

What is it, sir? Well, it's called, it's an elf. What do you mean it's an elf? Well, it's like elf on the shelf. Okay, well, somebody's already done elf on the shelf. Yeah, but not this one. Sir, what is your elf toy? It's called milf on the shelf.

What? Milt on the shelf. Did you just say milf on the shelf? Yeah, milf, you know, a mother I'd like to... Sir? Sir, we know what Miltf means. Yeah, I bet you don't. What's that mean, sir?

Hard to find a milf at the funny little bars you go to. Sir, I don't go to funny little bars. Oh yeah, what about Larry's got a can of alphabet soup down on 9th and 42nd. Larry's got a can of alphabet Alphabet soup. Yeah? Sir?

Yeah. Sir, I will not say... What is milk on the shelf? Well, it's a doll, and it looks like an old booze hound. She's got vericose veins, and a tits hang down to a belly button. Sir, that is inappropriate.

What do you want me to do? It's a milf, a mother I'd like to, sir, do not say it on my podcast. So what we do is, you know, the shelf on the shelf sits up there in his little curly shoes, his little hat, his pointy ears, looks all prim and proper. Yes, it's a very cute toy, sir. Yeah, well, the milf on a shelf, she sits up on the shelf with her legs wide open. And come fuck me shoes. and a bottle of Jack Daniels in her arm

and her makeup running down a face like she's been crying like somebody just had sex with her in a bathroom and the steam got in her eyes. Sir, this is unbelievable. A milf on a shelf. A mother I'd like to...

Sir, we get it. How the hell are we going to make milf on the shelf? The same way they make bobby dolls. Except this old... Boozhound's going to be up on the shelf. She's going to be like wearing a Christmas miniskirt. Her ripped fishnet stockings,

Verico's veins popping out. Her lipstick running, maybe even have a black eye or something. Sir, that sounds violent and crude. Yeah, well, so does your underpants. Sir! Speaking of which, have you ever fart, sir?

I have not farted on anything, okay? I'm tired of you asking me if I farted on thing. Have you ever farted in an all-you-can-eat-sallad bar? Sir, I'm not going to fart around food. You should try it. It makes a ripple blow across the salad dressing. What are you talking about? When you bend down and fart in a big bowl of Thousand Islands dressing, it's like a little wave ripple like a tsunami goes across and it's all creamy.

It's, oh my God. People eat out of that. So, it's not like you've never smelled ass before. Sir? Now, are you going to sell this milk on a shelf or what? Sir, I am not going to sell an old booze hound with her legs open and a bottle of Jack Daniels in her arms and her mascara running down her face. So she looks like Alice Cooper.

Remember that guy with the black eye mascara running down the face? Sir, now you're going to do this so we make money off your stupid plidplod. It's not a plidplod, sir, it's a podcast. Plodplod. Sir, it's a podcast. Whatever. Now, we're going to sell milk on a shelf, or you're going to see yourself with a pink slip. Sir, you're going to do it.

When are we doing it? We're going to do it starting next October. and you're going to make some money off this thing. Yes, sir. And you're going to put them up on the bookshelf. And who knows, maybe we'll even get an elf on the shelf and we'll have the elf on the shelf in between the milf on the shelf's legs,

pumping and hump it. Sir! I am not going to have an elf on the shelf having sexual intercourse with a milth on the shelf. Oh, yes, you will. You'll see a pink slip. Oh, my God. Are we done here, sir?

Yes, happy new year. Well, I'll try and have a happy new year, Mr. Featherstone. Yeah, I bet you will. You'll probably celebrate the stroke of midnight down of one of your funny little bars downtown. Sir, I don't go to funny little bars. Oh, really? Well, what about this New Year's Eve down at Johnny's Corn Dog?

What, Johnny's Corn Dog? Yeah, that funny little. little bar at third and twelfth. Sir? Ah! Sir! Ah! Sir, I gotta go.

You get to work. You start figuring out how we can make this milk on a shelf thing happen. And happy new year. Or in your case, happy new rear. Sir? I'm out of here.

Happy new rear, you freak. Melf on a shelf, 2017. Good Lord. I hate to say this, but Jesus Christ, what the hell? Milf on a shelf.

Oh, my God. It just never ends with this guy. So hopefully we make some money on the podcast next year by selling milk on a shelf. Unbelievable. You know what, Roger, can we just go back and end the show

with something positive? Let's have some more memories of George Michael. Play a little bit. more of his music, and I want to read a few of the emails we got from the pavement pounders about George Michael's passing, and then we'll come back and we'll close out the show. Hit that music again. What an idiot milf on the shelf. All right. Here we go. Let's read a few guys rode in to the Arlen Highway about poor dear George Michael.

passing away oh my god just like wailing in my heart here's a letter from John says George Michael dies on Christmas says hey Har I'm not sure how entirely but George Michael passed away today as publicist says he passed away in peace

which has a lot of people thinking as opposed to what he was in some sort of pain did he have an ailment did he have AIDS is George, bracket, sorry, George Michael, got to say the whole thing, still going to be a part of the comedy podcast that is the Harlan Highway.

I sure miss the antics between you and him and Roger. Happy holidays, buddy, love you, and keep the fantastic comedy coming. Here comes 2017. Well, thank you, John, and the answer lies in the podcast that you just listen to, obviously. but like I said we might be hearing from George a boy George so we'll see hang in there to find out okay

here's a letter from Brian Walter if your Michael Jackson character can survive can your George Michael character also survive well like I said you never know who knows maybe we have a seance one day and George Michael comes back for a visit I just don't know but we'll have to wait and see here's a letter from veronica oh veronica yes we love veronica regarding george michael hi harland just a heads up george michael has passed away i think you should have george so furious that he rises from the grave to correct your pronunciation of his name on another note have you seen clash of the titans brackets 1988 spoil alert medusa equals scary but it turns out she's a big nothing burger i don't know how flash of the titans relates to george michael but thanks for the info um and yes thank you for alerting me we are all saddened

by the passing of sweet old george michael and while we're reading stuff here why don't i read a few of the uh the tweets that got sent my way on my twitter account by the way if you're not on Twitter and you want to get on my Twitter feed, it's at Harland Williams. I am an active tweeter. Another way I try to put a smile on your face, so join my Twitter page. But here's what some of the people on Twitter had to say to me. Raymond says Harland Williams will George Michael visit the podcast again soon? Well, we'll have to wait and see.

Morgasim theory says, I loved when he called in. hope with time, and perhaps his ghost will call in. RIP George Michael Pavement Pounder for Life, hashtag. Well, thank you for that. John Meeker, Harlan Williams. Wait a second. That wasn't really him? No, it wasn't really him.

Patrick Trimble tweeted, Harland, it's George fucking Michael, Harland. Yes, I always got his name wrong. Jason tweeted, it's refreshing, and I like it that you do sincere. Seared tweets once in a blue moon like this one. Well, thank you, Jason. Here's the tweet I put out regarding George Michael's death. I tweeted, so sad to hear George Michael has died. He was often a fictional character on my podcast in good fun.

He was a mega talent and brought joy. So there you go. A little bit of the Twitter action on my Twitter feed at Harlan Williams. If you want to join my Twitter parade. Same thing for my Snapchat at Harlan Williams. I'm always putting out funny little videos and things on there. So, you know, join in, why don't you? Why the heck don't you?

Let's get to some announcements before we end the show here. My first stand-up comedy gig of 2017, yes. West Palm in Florida, West Palm Beach, Florida. What a great place to start the year at the end. Improv. January 19th through to the 22nd. Great place to start the year. West Palm Beach Improv. And then January 26, back to the West Coast, where I'll be in Tacoma, Washington, at the Tacoma Comedy Club. January 26 to the 28th. A great club. It'll be my first time there. I hear it's fantastic. And then in February, February 9th, down to the 12th, I will be in North Carolina at Charlie Goodnights.

Oh, yes, Charlie Goodnights in North Carolina. But for all my stand-up comedy tours for this year, should you want to see where I'm going to be, I might be in your town or city. Go to my website, Harlandwiliams.com. and check it out, man. Check out if the stand-up comedy link and see if I'm touring in your neighborhood. You can buy your tickets right online.

Also, check out the website. I added a new page. For those of you have always been curious about my voiceover work, I added a new page for my voiceover, many of my voiceover and voice role works and animation. You might find that interesting to take a boo at. uh also uh check out our store harlom williams dot com has a store with tons of fun merchandise great t-shirts and videos dvds all that stuff also you can write to me at the contact link

at harlem williams dot com or you can call me and leave a phone message maybe you want to cry about george michael 323 739 4330 and don't forget all you people in the united kingdom i'm waiting to hear from you. Don't be a bunch of layabouts. Get on the telly and call me. The United Kingdom, shout out 323, 739, 4330. And there you go.

Happy New Year to everybody. I hope you have a great, great, fun New Year's Eve. Here's to an amazing 2017. Hopefully we don't see the milf on the shelf. And we can just bypass that. Hopefully Feathers don't forget some of about it. Um, from me to you, all the best. Happy New Year. We love you here at the Harlan Highway. And, uh, until next time, chicken. Chauamee, baby. Well, it's a doll. And it looks

like an old boozehound. She's got vericose veins and a tits hang down to a belly button. Sir, that is inappropriate. What do you want me to do? It's a milf. A mother I'd like to, sir. Thank you.