The Harland Highway - 838 - FBI comes for Harland. More TRUMP hate from actors.

Episode Date: January 26, 2017

Harland gets strange visit from the FBI. More actors are piling up against Donald Trump without giving him a chance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, hey, hey, it's me, Harland Williams, and you are on the Harland Highway podcast. How are you, everybody? Welcome to the Harland Highway podcast. A great show today, at least I hope it is. Interesting show today. We're going to talk about, you're going to take some phone calls from a couple of the listeners. We're going to talk a little bit about comedy. And then I'm also going to tell you about a crazy story. that happened to me that involved, like, the FBI. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a really weird story, and it just, it was kind of one of these stories that fell into my lap. So I'm going to talk about that. And then we got another call from someone who was, you know, talking about all the actors that are speaking out against Donald Trump. And so towards the end of the show, I'm going to be talking, not about, you know, politics or, you know, picking sides. but I'm going to talk about, you know, some of these actors and the anger that seems to be inside of them.

And is it really helpful? Is it really the right way to get your message across to be angry and kind of dark towards President Trump and people who supported him? I don't know. I'm going to discuss. I'm going to play some clips for you, decide, because this is the Harland. Highway Sit down, strap in

and tighten your diaper. Come here, baby. You're about to go down the Harlan Highway. No! I didn't bargain for this. Oh, yes, you did it. Chick-chic-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chall-main, baby.

I'm the creature from all the space. Please don't stop. I got to be an ugly face. Magnificent performance. This is the Harland Highway. I hate you. Well, that's the way it goes. What do you say?

We get down to business. Okay, here we go, everybody. This is one of my oddest stories. This is such a weird. Weird story. I almost don't believe this happened. But you know what? Roger, hit the music, hit the theme music to get me in the mood for this weird story. And I'll try and tell it the way it went down. Okay? Just start the music to get me going. Ready, hit it. Yeah, that's it. Here we go. That's spy music. That's perfect. Okay, good. I'm in the zone.

I'm in the zone. Here's what happened. This is nutty. Okay, the other day, I'm going to a meeting. You know, I get my stuff together. I comb my hair. I straighten my shirt. I get in my car.

And as I'm getting in my car, I look down the length of my driveway. And at the end of my driveway, across the street, there's another house. with a driveway and I look down and it's almost at the very bottom of my driveway like it's directly there right so I look down and I see this car in this driveway and I'm like I don't know something right out of the gate kind of through me I was like I don't think I've seen that car there before and just kind of sitting there and the the lights are on it's like like The back lights are on, it's running. And I don't know, just some, you know, sometimes your spidey senses start tingling.

And you just kind of a vibe. So I pull down my driveway, like, you know, front grill first. I turn around, I go down the driveway with the headlights in front of me. And I get to the bottom. And as I'm about to make the turnout onto my road, I kill the music. I need to concentrate. As I'm about to turn out onto my road,

all of a sudden, a guy gets out of his car. Okay, this guy, he jumps out, and it's a young guy, I'd say he's about, like, maybe 29, 32-ish. You know, physically fit, not huge, but you can tell he's fit. He had a well-groomed red beard. I'd say a handsome gentleman. Kind of hip, pretty simple, blue jeans and a white t-shirt. And I'm like, I've never seen that guy before.

And then he kind of starts walking right towards me. And I'm like, okay, this is weird. And he walks right to my car window. And he, like, motions for me to roll down the window. And I'm like, who the what the hell? I go, yeah. Can I help you? And he goes, are you, huh?

And I went, who are you? And he goes, are you harran? And I said, I said, yeah, who are you? and he pulls out, he reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a little like wallet thing and goes, John so-and-so from the FBI. And I'm like, wait, wait, what? And I go, who are you? He goes special agent John so-and-so from the FBI.

And I'm like, I've never had the FBI come looking for me ever. And so now in my head I'm thinking, what have I done? What are the worst things I've ever done in my life? When I was a kid, I shoplifted a chocolate bar. Did I do something wrong on my taxes? Did I run over someone and I don't know about it? Did I hit and run? What have I done?

You know, I'm scrambling my brain because I'm a good guy. I don't live a criminal life. But when an FBI guy approaches, all of a sudden, you're like, wait, what did I do? And I said, what's this about? And he goes, do you work, do you live here? And I go, yes. And he goes, do you work for Fox? And all of a sudden, I'm like, well, yeah, I've worked for my head.

I'm like, I've worked for Fox. I've worked for Walt Disney. I've worked for NBC. I've worked. You know, I'm in the entertainment business. I've done all, worked for all, every studio and network. And I said, yeah, I've worked for Fox. And he goes, is this your car?

And I go, yeah, this is my car. I've told you guys before I have a Tesla. And I'm, he's like, he's like, can I ask you a few questions? And I said, what's this all about? Now I'm getting like, you know, this guy's asking me stuff. And I said, what do you want for me? Like, you're sure you have a right guy. And he said, yeah, can we talk?

And so now I'm a little nervous. I'm like, is this guy for real? Is he fake? Is he, you know, so I'm, you know, you know, You know how you get intimidated when you get pulled over by the police for speeding? You know, you get all nervous and butterflies. Well, imagine there's an FBI guy at the end of your driveway that wants to talk to you. And so I said to him, I didn't really trust it.

I wasn't sure. And I said, well, is there somewhere we can go? And in my head, I'm meaning like police headquarters or something. If I'm going to talk to anyone, I want to talk to them in a safe environment. And he goes, and he goes, Yeah, you want to go grab a coffee or something? And I go, a coffee? And I said, no, if I'm going to talk to you, I want to go somewhere, you know, where it's official.

And he goes, oh, well, he says, I'm only here for the day. And my car over there, it's a rental. And now I'm starting to think I'm going, why is an FBI guy telling me stuff? I would think a good FBI guy would not want to give away any information. And so I go, can I see your badge again? Because now I'm starting to think maybe this guy's like, something's weirds going on, right? So he pulls his badge out and his hand is shaking.

His hands are shaking. And I'm still sitting in the front seat of my car. And I thought it was very peculiar. You know, you always think FBI guys are calm and cool. And I said to him, I said, dude, why is your handshaking? And he didn't answer me. It was kind of creepy.

He was just silent. And I said, dude, are you sure you want me? Like, what is this? And he goes, your name's Hernan, right? And I go, Hernan? No, Harland. And it turns out my next door neighbor, his name is Heron.

And when the guy first approached my car, he kind of slurred the name. So he said, are you Hernan? And I thought he said, are you Harland? So I'm like, no, I'm not Hernan. Hearnen's up there. And then he goes, do you work for Fox? And I said, well, I have worked for Fox.

And he goes, how? And I go, well, I've done voiceovers in their movies. I've done, you know, I've been on their TV shows, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, TV shows. And I said, yeah, he goes, this is your. car? And I go, yeah, it's my Tesla. And then I realized my neighbor has a Tesla too. And so now suddenly everything started to click. And I said, dude, you're looking for Heron, my neighbor. And he goes, yeah, Hernan, and I won't say his last name. And he goes, yes. And I go, oh, I thought you

said Harland. And it turns out Heron does work for Fox or used to. And so now I'm thinking, right away in my head I'm thinking my god what if this guy was a hip man what if my neighbor I had no idea my neighbor was some kind of you know El Chapo drug lord or something which he's not he's an amazing nice guy but you know when you're confronted by an FBI guy at the end of your own driveway everything starts to you start having all these fantasies and I'm like what the hell is my neighbor up to what what is he a drug runner from Guatemala or something and so now I'm thinking What if this guy was, what if my neighbor was wired into something, you know, dubious? And they put a hit out on him.

And this guy comes to my driveway and checks all the, okay, his name's Hernin. He worked for Fox. He lives here. He's got a Tesla. Pulls out the gun. Drives away. Thinks he got his guy. Just because of a bunch of similarities of my answers.

Holy smoke. So now I'm like, dude, you got the wrong guy. And then he goes, can I see your ID just to make sure? And now I'm a little, you know, I'm still not convinced this guy's for real. So being the comedian that I am, I have a fake ID in my wallet of an alien. It's a picture of one of those aliens with the big heads and the, you know, it's one of these prank IDs you buy it 7-Eleven. They're like, they look like real driver's license.

But mine says like alien on it And there's a picture of an alien And so just to be a smile I handed him that And he actually kind of smiled And then I handed him my real one And I thought What am I handing a guy an ID for him?

My own driveway It just felt weird And I started thinking Maybe this guy's not real Maybe it's fake Maybe he's a hip man Maybe he's a private eye Maybe he's scoping my house out to rob it

I didn't know what to think so finally he seems satisfied that I'm not my neighbor and I just say dude I'm getting out of here and I drive away had to be at a meeting right I had to be at a doctor's appointment and so now I'm driving away and I'm thinking oh my God what if this guy is a hitman what if this guy's out to get my neighbor

who I like I have a good relationship with my neighbor we're friends and so now I'm thinking do I call my neighbor Or what if my neighbor secretly is like El Chapo? And by calling him, I'm aiding and abetting a fugitive or a criminal or something. And suddenly I become an accomplice and I'm doing something illegal. So now I'm like freaking out. I don't know how many of you have had an FBI agent at your driveway.

Thank you very much. So now I'm driving along and I'm thinking I'm going to call my lawyer and see what he thinks. So I'd call my lawyer, and he's like, this is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. And he says, I don't think you get in trouble for calling your neighbor. Because I wanted to give my neighbor a heads up. So I call my neighbor, and my neighbor, Hernon, who's a great guy, I go, Hey, Hearnan, there was an FBI guy who's looking for you. And Hernan, to my surprise, was just very calm and casual about it.

He was just like, yes, okay. I understand. Thank you for letting me know, Harland. Okay, thank you. Sounds good. Goodbye. And I was just like, wait, that was, that was kind of weird. That was like cold and kind of calculating and it's almost the type of answer I had to expect from some kind of nefarious, cold-hearted, drug peddling, hit man or something. So now my head, I'm just, my head's filling up with all this crazy stuff.

I mean, who wouldn't, right? And then all of a sudden, a few hours later, about five hours later, my neighbor calls me back and he goes, yeah, it turns out one of the guys I worked with at Fox. He was a guy that was involved with Fox and he had some bad business dealing. And so they're questioning everyone, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So he called back and cleared it up. Oh, man. But I'll tell you, my heart was racing.

my, I'd butterflies, I was like, man, you just don't expect an FBI guy coming to your door. It was weird, man. It was weird. So there you go. There's my, there's my kooky FBI story. Apparently, my neighbor told me, too, that two FBI guys came back when he was home and questioned him about the, the nefarious guy that worked with him somewhere and blah, blah, blah. So I guess it turns out it was a real thing. The FBI guy was real.

But nonetheless, it sure shook me up a little bit. Thank God I'm a clean living good boy because it's like it's funny, the stuff that goes through your head. And then you start thinking of the dumbest things like, well, did I park my car wrong? Did I, you know, when you're not a bad guy, you don't know, you have no point of wrong. reference. So you're thinking, what's the worst thing I've ever done? I mean, I stood a girl up on a date once. Is that what this is all about her? So I don't know. Very interesting. So that's my story. That's my, that's my crazy, crazy, you know, spy story, I guess. I guess I'll just leave it right there, dog. I hope that never happens.

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and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Hello? Hello? Oh, man, I just listened to your stand-up. Oh, love it, love it. I think my favorite joke was the worst one on there.

Mother from Brazil, father from Zaire, your birth certificate, says you're from Brazil. It's so bad. And it sounded like you were a little, like you went over it really quick. I think if you had been silent for about five seconds. for that. I think the crowd would have lost it because it's so bad. I just started cracking up. It's always good to have one of those. Oh, man. Thank you for your podcast, for your stand-up, everything you do. You make the world a funny place, better place, and appreciate you, appreciate your serious side as well. That's what makes it all kind of real. Thanks,

Brian. Hey, no. Thank you, man. I mean, I just really appreciate those types of phone calls. And it's nice to know. It's nice to hear that you guys enjoy it. You enjoy the comedy. You enjoy some of the more serious stuff. And, you know, that it makes an impact. So that's great. And in case you're wondering what this gentleman was laughing about and referencing is a few podcasts back, I played. a little segment of some live stand-up that I did and one of the jokes I did during the set I was talking about Ancestry.com and how you can trace your heritage and I did this joke about well why don't I just play you the joke here's the clip that he was laughing about

turns out my mother from Zaire my father from Brazil my passport now says that I'm from Brazier So there you go. So there you go. It was a cheesy joke, but that's what I love about stand-up comedy

because, you know, the clip that I posted was probably 20 minutes long, and out of the 20 minutes, that joke is the one that just tickled your funny bone. And that's the beauty of comedy because you just never know what's going to hit a person. And the fact that that, to you was kind of like the worst and the cheesiest joke is probably would also

made it the funniest in your mind because as you said it was so bad and it is kind of bad but it's it's so stupid it's kind of funny so I'm so glad you liked it I'm glad you liked it I'm glad you liked the podcast and and the reason I put that stand-up comedy up there is so I could kind of tease you people and entice you into joining our premium membership for $20 a year those live stand-up clips are part of what you get when you join our premium membership. So if you enjoyed it, please sign up, and I'm dropping those on the premium spot all year long. So something to think about, okay? Thank you for your call.

Let's take another call. Why not? Yo, Harlan, I just heard the last podcast. And wow, man, you're spot out. You're like a political beast. I am so, it's like a soft spot or hard spot or weak spot, whatever you call it. I'm just so sick and tired of these entitled actor, these Hollywood people, Merrill Streep, whatever, she doesn't know hard times if it hit her on the head.

Like, how does she have the balls to try to put herself in a victim situation? You have some goddamn nerve. modern day communism is alive and well you like trump you're blacklisted you like them political gain it's like communism or something it's just like communism well anyways yeah i love the uh your truth about the Hollywood being so uh it's just disgusting with the whole hey look at me i'm right i have the answers you do not have the answers this is why you we're in a situation that we're in because you don't have the answers so uh chicken tell me baby oh boy you know i i just couldn't keep my mouth shut about how how blatantly arrogant the these actors have been coming off and i don't i wouldn't go so far as to call them communists or or or you know horrible people but I mean, how much more do we have to take from these actors and actresses trying to tell us how to think, how to vote, how bad we are?

And, you know, I always was under the impression that the arts kind of stood outside of the realm of politics. You know, I thought the arts were supposed to be open and free-spirited and kind of thinking of the ethereal and not being, you know, you know, trying to stand on the pulpit and tell people how to think. Art is supposed to be interpretive. And artists, I feel like, should put art out there that stimulates the mind and stimulates the imagination. And artists put out a product that asks the viewer or the listener to choose, to make a decision, to hear or see a painting or hear and watch a movie or a TV show

and perhaps, you know, put offerings out there so that people viewing people that want to be entertained can formulate their own opinion. But actors have gone beyond. It feels like actors have become like enforcers. They're making you feel bad. They're making you, they're denigrating you. They're calling you stupid.

They're telling you that your choice, your opinion, your point of view doesn't matter and that they are more important and that they have a deeper insight and a deeper vision into how a country or how a society or how a group of people should feel and think. It's way too serious, man. It's way too in everybody's face. And I hope these actors remember that, you know, when they get so aggressive with their points of view, they alienate half their audience. You know, when they call people stupid for voting for, let's say, Donald Trump, well, guess what, half their audience voted for Donald Trump? So are they willing to call half their fan base stupid?

To give you an example, I love Meryl Streep. I've always touted Meryl Streep as my favorite actress. But I've got to tell you, in the last few years, I've seen her up there, not at just the recent award show, but at other ones where she started blabbering on about all this stuff. And you know what? I can't stand her now. I just can't look at her and feel like I want to be entertained by her

because all I can hear is her preachy voice in the back of my head telling me how I should think, how I should feel, how bad of a person I am if I don't see her point of view. It's kind of disgusting. And, you know, also, you know, it's tough to talk about politics because, you know, obviously I'm an actor and an artist and it may sound like I'm trying to point you in a, in a specific direction, but I'm not.

I don't care if you voted for Hillary or Donald. But I feel like nobody's giving Donald Trump a chance. And, you know, I feel like everyone gave Barack Obama a chance. I gave him a chance. I would have given Hillary a chance. I didn't like Hillary, but I certainly wouldn't be spitting and on people and calling them morons and marching in the street and yelling and, you know, I'd give her a chance, man.

It's not, you know, it's just, I don't get it. And what's disappointing to me is, you know, on the liberal side of politics, the Democrats, you know, part of their party platform is they talk about being inclusive and being open-minded and letting everyone have a voice and letting everyone be heard. and that, you know, everyone should have their voice heard and everyone's voice matters. And yet, they're not being very compassionate or loving or giving or giving or sharing when it comes to people who don't share their political views. For example, listen to some of this venom that was spewed by, some top A-list Hollywood celebrities.

I mean, does this sound like the compassionate political party to you? Yes, I'm angry. Yes, I am outraged. Yes, I have thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House. As the poet, W.H. Auden once wrote, On the eve of World War II, we must love one another or die.

I choose love. Well, I don't know if blowing up the White House sounds very loving to me, Madonna. To me, that sounds like terrorist activity. To me, that sounds like violence. And when someone has a powerful voice like you, when you're a celebrity with millions of followers, it sounds like you're provoking and inciting violence. You know, if a redneck who lived in a shack in West Virginia said that, the FBI would be at his door. If a black kid from the inner city said that, he'd be in handcuffs in an FBI interrogation room.

If a Muslim person said that, they would be, you know, it could Guantanamo Bay or whatever the hell it's called. I mean, who the hell says that? That's not a loving and compassionate speech. That's not gracious. That's not classy. Why is everyone so angry at the democratic process? He won. The people voted. I'm sorry if people don't love the guy, but he won.

He won fair and square. Here's some more compassionate-sounding, so-called, loving, inclusive celebrities that want to tell us how to think. I mean, he's so blatantly stupid. He's a punk. He's a dog. He's a pig. He's a con, a bullshit artist. A mutt, who doesn't know what he's talking about, doesn't do his homework, doesn't care.

He thinks he's gaming society, doesn't pay his taxes. He's an idiot. Colin Powell said it best. He's a national disaster. He's an embarrassment to this country. It makes me so angry that this country has gotten to this point, that this fool, this bozo, has wound up where he's. He has. He talks how he wants to punch people in the face. Well, I'd like to punch him in the face. This is somebody that we want for president? I don't think so. What I care about is the direction

of this country. And what I'm very, very worried about is that it might go in the wrong direction with someone like Donald Trump. If you care about your future, vote for it. Oh, okay. Thanks, Robert De Niro. I guess I'll vote for whoever, whoever you in assist I vote for. Thank you, Robert De Niro. And thank you for your eloquent speech calling someone a pig and a bozo and an idiot and someone who doesn't know what he's doing and stupid. Boy, you know, that sounds like the kind of taunting and bullying you'd hear in a schoolyard, doesn't it? I mean, good Lord, man. And then again, violence.

You'd like to punch him in the face. You know, we all remember when Donald Trump said punch in the face at his speech. That's what he's referring to at one of his rallies. It was a sarcastic remark. Donald Trump does not want to punch someone in the face. If that's how you took it, maybe you're not the brightest bulb on the tree. I don't know. But I think it was clear Donald Trump did not.

have any intent to climb down into the crowd and punch someone in the face. But, you know, to call all these, this guy, all these names and not give him a chance, not see what he's capable of, you know, whether you like it or not, Donald Trump is the American dream. Donald Trump is what many or if not most people strive to be when they come to America. Donald Trump built an empire for himself. How many of you go to work every day and put in an eight-hour day and go, oh boy, I hope I make an extra $1,200 this year so I can put it in my savings account? Or how many of you go to work every day and go, man, I hope my ship comes in? I hope I get a promotion so I make a million dollars a year. Or how many of you have gone and bought you? And I've been,

bought a lottery ticket, hoping that your financial circumstances would change. And for Donald Trump to build the empire he has, is that the mind of an idiot? Is that someone who's stupid? Is that someone who has no vision, no insight? Well, if it's so easy, why haven't you or I done it? Because it's not easy. It's extremely difficult. And you have to have a certain amount of brain power to do it.

And you have to have leadership qualities. And you have to have so many things, so many gifts. And while all these celebrities talk about Donald Trump ruining the country, I see a guy who could have sailed off into the sunset and retired, but decided to dedicate probably the rest of his life. He's already 70. He's probably not got that much time left. Here's a guy who could have sat in the lawn chair and drank margaritas and watched the sunset,

but here's a guy that's going to be working 24-7, and all he wants to do is try and make life better for Americans. He wants to try and make Obamacare better. He wants to try and bring jobs back to the USA. He wants to fix trade. He wants to stop illegal immigration. All this stuff that to me sounds like good stuff. Is everything he does going to be perfect and great? No, of course not.

Nobody can promise that, but everyone calling this guy a racist and a homophobe and a this and that. But yet I watch the guy, I don't see it, and maybe I'm missing it. Am I blind? I haven't seen him use the N-word or call anyone anything racist or say or do anything racist. I haven't seen him say anything derogatory against the gay community. I haven't seen them. I mean, it's frustrating to watch.

It's almost like people have decided they've got this this diatribe in their head. They've got this dialogue and they're just going to stick with it. Come hell or high water, they've made up their mind. And it feels like the celebrities are digging in. It feels like the celebrities are like, you know, the more vitriol they can, they can spew out into the public, the more they feel like the rest of the people. the more they feel like the rest of the acting community will embrace them and get phone calls. Oh, oh, Merrill, I loved what you said last night.

Oh, Madonna, I just loved the way you said you wanted to blow up the White House. Oh, they all just love each other, but is it blind? Do they, have they really examined what's going on? Do they really know what this guy has to offer it? It reminds me of Jesus, and I'm not saying Donald Trump is anywhere near Jesus, okay? This guy has his flaws. But when you look at the story of Jesus, here was Jesus walking around Galilee and Jerusalem and wherever he wandered. And all he did was wander around with a message of love and brotherhood and peace and harmony. And what happened? People got scared

of it. People didn't like the change. People didn't like his positivity. People didn't understand that someone could be this way. And so they didn't want to hear his message. And so here was a, well, we don't know if he was a human or not. He was apparently the son of gone, but here was a guy that wanted to do all these good things for the people, and the people couldn't accept it. They couldn't understand it.

They couldn't get their head around it. So instead they turned on this symbol. this man who represented love and harmony and peace. And they crucified him because it frightened them, it intimidated them. They didn't give him a chance. And they hung him up on a cross, and they tortured him, and they let him die.

And they never let him bring his message. They never let him get to the finish line. And again, I'm not comparing Donald to Jesus. Donald has probably done some bad, wicked things in his life. But he's at a point now where it looks like he wants to give back. He wants to repair. He wants to uplift. He wants to mend. He wants to build. He wants to do positive things for everyone. And I don't know if you saw this horrible thing where Steve Harvey, the black entertainer, came to Donald Trump's building to talk about how he could make a difference in the, you know,

the downtrodden black communities. And Steve Harvey was roasted over the coals. He was called an average Negro being paraded in front of the media. Donald Trump using him like a average Negro puppet. Can you imagine chastising a celebrity for wanting to look for solutions to help people in the inner city who are struggling and need a helping hand? And Steve Harvey gets put down for that. And that's what I mean.

It seems like people who don't like Donald Trump have just decided to band together and try and take him down and twist his words and put him up on the cross and stone him and put a crown of thorns on his head. And Donald's not a perfect man. He's not the Savior. He's not the son of God. He's got his flaws. He's got things that are imperfections.

but when I look at him and when I hear his message, if I'm being objective, if I'm standing back from the arena of politics, I feel like I see a man who's trying. And can't the people who don't like him at least give him room to try? Can you at least watch and see before you tear him down? Can you let him try and prove you, wrong, even if it's for two years or four years. And if you don't like it, there's a system in

place where he gets voted out. You and all the people that hate him can vote him out. It's disheartening. And you know what? I would stand by Hillary and whoever else was in power. I stood by Barack. You guys know. I told you, I picked people based. on what I see. I'm not a party politics guy. I stood by Barack. The first four years, I was hopeful. I was behind him. If I could have voted back then, I would have voted for Barack Obama. So no one listening can tell me I'm biased against the Democrats because I'm not. I go by what my gut tells me on each candidate. And in this instance, I just liked what Donald Trump was saying. I saw a guy who's very smart

who knows business and really wanted to fix up and reinvent America and make America great again as he says and for people not to acknowledge his accomplishments, his savvy, his business savvy, then you're just in denial, I think. I think you're cutting your own nose off

in spite of yourself. You just want to follow the diatribe and go along with the crowd because it feels safe. But, you know, make no mistake. Running a country is like running a business. You can say whatever you want, but Donald Trump is an expert businessman. And running a country is all about. making deals and making decisions and being a leader and telling people where to go and what to do and negotiating and all the elements that a good business person has and the fact that

Donald has all that savvy and all that knowledge and all that experience and he's hiring a cabinet that shares in those talents I think could be a very strong thing for the United States could be wrong and again if it's wrong he gets voted out But for God's sakes, can you knock it off with all this venom? I mean, let's listen to one more superstar actor who is actually comparing Donald Trump to Hitler. I mean, it's just, it's just embarrassing. Here's Ashley Judd going off. My name is Ashley Judd.

Ashley Judd is here. And I am a feminist. I am a nasty one. I'm not as nasty as a man who looks like he bades in chito dust. A man whose words are a distract to America. Electoral college sanctioned hate speech contaminating this national anthem. And I didn't know devils could be resurrected, but I feel Hitler in these streets.

A mustache traded for a toupee. Nazis renamed the cabinet electroconversion therapy, the new gas chambers shaming the gay out of America, turning rainbows into suicide. Notes, I am not as nasty as racism, fraud, conflict of interest, homophobia, sexual assault, transphobia, White supremacy, misogyny, ignorance, white privilege. Wow. You know, I almost can't believe what I'm hearing. And just for the record, those weren't Ashley's actual words. She was reading a poem written by some girl somewhere in the United States,

but that Ashley would pick that to read in front of millions of people being broadcast on television and at the uh million woman march i mean man oh man did that did that just not sound like full of hatred and and venom and wow can you imagine someone up on a stage reading something like that about hillary clinton reading something like that about baroque Obama, it just wouldn't happen. And perhaps the lowest thing of all, to accuse Donald Trump of all these things, show me what he's done, show me the church he's burnt down, show me the gay person he's throwing off a bridge.

I've heard him say supportive things about the gay community. I've seen him reaching out to the black community. I've, you know, I've seen him give high. power high-level jobs to women. And if you take little snippets of his life, like the nasty words he said on the, you know, the Access Hollywood trailer about women, yes, that was wrong, it was ignorant, it was shameful.

But it's, it doesn't define the whole man and everything he stands for and lives for. Tell me one person listening right now who hasn't said something nasty or sex. about someone of the opposite sex, like, oh, man, I'd like to jump her bones, or, ooh, I'd like to get him in the sack, or, ooh, what a, you know, it's just human nature. Everybody does it. Now, if Donald Trump did that every single day and, you know, he had a visa bill full of escort service charges and that, well, then you got a case, but you're taking one thing and condemning the man. and I feel like that's what these people are doing.

They're taking one snippet of the man's life or two snippets out of his 70-year life where he's done so many good positive things, created jobs, created buildings, created living spaces for people. And you're just so willing to tear him down. And to call him Hitler, to compare him to Hitler. Do you know who Hitler was, Ashley Judd? Do you know what Hitler did? Yeah, Hitler threw 12 million Jews in an oven, technically speaking, and burn them alive.

Gee, is that what Donald Trump's doing? By the way, this is the president that reached out to Israel right away and told Israel how much he wants to work with them and try and help them solve their problems. Do you really think Donald Trump's Hitler, Ashley Judd? Yeah, I guess so. I guess he had Steve Harvey in and he put Dr. Ben Carson in his cabinet because he hates black people. Yeah, I guess you're right. He's a racist, Ashley Judd.

I mean, come on, grow up. And you know what's, you know, here's what's going to be interesting. What if Donald Trump's a success? What if Donald Trump proves them all wrong like he's already done on so many levels? What if Donald Trump does bring the country together? What if Donald Trump does turn the economy around? What if Donald Trump does bring ease racial tensions and brings communities and races of people closer together?

What if Donald Trump does reduce crime and increases wages and, you know, all this stuff? Then what? How are you guys going to look? It's one thing to say you don't like, someone and stand up and oppose them but this this is fanatical man this this sounds like it sounds like we're in two different countries it sounds like you know you it's like there's one side of the USA and there's another this is a democratic system where people get elected and then they get

unelected and that's just the way the system works and half the people have to live with it for four years and after people don't. And then, you know, if you look at the cycle of politics, it's constantly changing. So Mello the hell out. Can you imagine if, you know, a big actor like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie was up on stage somewhere in a park in front of millions of people and started going off how Barack Obama was Hitler and a racist and a homophobe and, I mean, man, oh man. it's like give the guy a chance let him see what he's going to do okay look i'm the same way

when i don't like something when i see something going off the rails when i see something's ineffective and it doesn't look like it's working i'm ready to speak up against it but this this crap was coming out on day one donald trump hadn't even been president for like 24 hours and already this? Unacceptable. It's ugly, man. You actors may think that you're really cool and that you're really ahead of the curve

and that you have some kind of third eye with a deeper insight than all the rest of us local yokels who ride on tractors and fix trucks. But man, you, you. You're not coming off with any integrity. You're coming off as like almost like lunatics and angry and spiteful and almost dangerous. You sound like if you had the chance to be in a room alone with the president, you would cut his throat.

It's really not a good look. And I would recommend that if you want to have your very, voice heard if you want to make change or you want to you want to throw up opposing points of view do it in a more tactful way please i mean why didn't why doesn't madonna take her hundreds of millions of dollars and go build a woman's shelter instead of standing up on stage saying she wants to blow up the white house and dropping the f bomb on national television four or five times and just coming off as a hate monger why doesn't robert De Niro take a bunch of his money and do something.

I don't know. It just makes me sad. And as I said, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not a party guy. I just, I just get behind people. And even if Donald Trump had lost, I would not be wishing any of this crap on Hillary Clinton, man. I would not. Maybe I got too much class. maybe I feel like Hillary would deserve a chance

just like all the presidents that came before her deserved a chance I mean this is this is really distasteful in my opinion my humble opinion for what it's worth some of you may love it some of you may think it's justified some of you may be you know wishing it was even more some of you maybe think Donald is all these horrible things

And I would say to you, really, are you really being objective? Are you really standing back and giving him a chance? Or are you just dead set no matter what he does? If he found the cure for cancer, he's still Hitler, he's still an asshole, he's still a racist, he's still all these things on your little checklist. And if that is who you are, then, you know, shame on you because you're being short-sighted. You know, at least let the guy prove you wrong. Let the guy show you he's a disaster if that's what he ends up being.

And then you have every right to do the name calling and be a naysayer. But if you were in his shoes, wouldn't you want the chance? If you were the president, wouldn't you want the chance? Think about it. I'm not preaching at you what to think or who to like. I'm just throwing out the options. I'm expressing my opinion. But I don't care who you vote for or who you get behind.

But I do care about people being nasty. And I do care about people showing an ugly side to themselves. And yes, Donald has some things in him that we've seen that are ugly. but let's move forward. Let's try and see if the guy can make life better for everyone. So there you go. A little long-winded, but, you know, I kind of went off the cue of that pavement pounder's phone call.

And I know I'm probably going to lose a bunch of listeners because people get, I always get phone calls. Harlan, you're going to ask. How can you like Donald Trump? and I'm sorry, but this little tirade of mine isn't about a political party, okay? This is about just decency and showing some respect for the process, showing some respect for the office of the president, showing respect for the people that did vote for him,

and showing respect for democracy, and saying, you know what, this is how the system works. So anyways, I'll leave it right there. We're running long. I'm rambling. What can I say? Let's do some announcements here, shall we? What is going on?

Oh, February 9th to the 12th, you can catch me doing stand-up comedy in North Carolina at Charlie Goodnights. February 9th through 12th. And then February 16th, 3rd. 18th. I'll be in Spokane, Washington at the Spokane Comedy Club. And then March 2nd to the 5th, I'll be in Phoenix at Stand Up Live, Phoenix, Arizona. So some great stuff coming up, man.

Please get your tickets. Go to Harlem Williams.com and click on the stand-up tour link, and you can join in. You can get your tickets and come to the show, baby. And that's it, man. I'm just going to end with this. Let's all try and be nice. Let's try to give people a chance. Let's be patient.

Let's hope that all the things that someone wants to do that are good, let them shine through. And if they're not, that person will be found out. And there you go. check out harlo williams.com check out our store to buy some fun merchandise you can write me at harlolwilms.com you can phone me and leave a voicemail

323-739 43330 there's only a two-minute there's only a two-minute tape on the voicemail so if you decide you want to go off on a long long thing you'll get cut off after two minutes so and I appreciate all opinions you can you can phone and say whatever you want I know I'll probably get some calls from people who hate Trump but that's okay

and I might get calls from people who love Trump but that's okay too so we'll leave it right there um thanks for listening thanks for your phone calls and until next time everybody chicken chowmaine baby Okay.