The Harland Highway - 843 - AUNT RUTHY calls in. Stock market predictions. New MUSIC

Episode Date: February 13, 2017

Aunt Ruthie leaves a message about a seafood dinner. Harland announces NEW music. A bold stock market prediction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, everyone. It's me. It's your host, Harlem Williams. Welcome to the Harlem Highway. Oh, God. Yeah, that's right. Today's podcast is a little weird. I didn't get much sleep. So I start the podcast off slow, but I feel like as I go along, I bring it up. I bring it up, okay? We started off with me complaining about not getting any sleep. But then, you know, to kind of put some pepper to get, put some pepper to get, the show into gear, we take a voice message call from my Aunt Ruthie, who's always getting into trouble. I think she ended up at a seafood buffet with her husband, my uncle Harry. So we'll play that message for you. Then we're going to talk about a prediction I made involving the stock market. Interesting stuff. Could it be that yours truly was right? Or could it be I was completely wrong? Oh no, oh no, oh no. And then also towards the end of the show, I'm going to I'm going to take the lid off of a new project I'm working on, something very, very exciting.

This is my first real announcement of this said project. I've been keeping it under wraps. We've been working really, really hard on it, and it's just about ready to cook, and I'm going to give a release date for this new mystery thing. So stick around to the end of the show for that announcement. So we'll have some laughs, and we'll just get it on the way I always do at the Harland Highway. Sit down, strap in, and tighten your diaper. Come here, baby.

You're about to go down the Harlan Highway. No! I didn't bargain for this. Oh, yes, you did. Chick-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chall-main, baby. And the creature from all the space. Please don't stop. I got to be an ugly face.

Magnificent performance. This is the Harlan Highway. I hate you. Well, that's the way it goes. What do you say? We get down to business. how are you you

you ever have one of those nights where you just don't sleep long enough they say you're supposed to get eight hours of sleep and you wake up after four and you can't get back to sleep and your brain

just feels like you're stuck in neutral or maybe even reverse and you feel like you're still walking in a dream you got this weird haze going on your eyes are open and you're moving around but you're still kind of in that fog but kind of lost

unable to wake up zombie like just you know what I mean God that's where I am right now I gotta wake up man holy jumping I hate that like four hours sleep

and it's just like drives me nuts because it's like it's kind of like that weird like you're walking in a daydream, alternate reality. Right? You're just like, I don't know. I'm going to shake it off. I got a podcast to do, man. I got to get my acting gear. Let's see if I can think of something to wake me up. God, that didn't help.

That didn't help at all. You know what, Roger, let's, let's, can we do something? Do we have, do we have any voicemails? Do we have, give me time to go get a Coke and wake up? What? We have a voicemail from Aunt Ruthie. Good.

Put it on. Normally I don't like to play your voicemails because she's not. Put it on and let me get out of this fog, all right? Here's Aunt Ruthie. Hello. Hello, Holland. It's your aunt Ruthie calling Angel. How are you? Oh, my God. Where are you? Oh, my God. Hello, I guess you're in Hollywood. I guess I'm on your answering machine again, little angel. Oh, my God. You're so cute down in Hollywood. Are you making your movies and your televisions and whatnot? Well, I just, I just, you're just, you're so cute down in Hollywood. Are you making your movies and your televisions and whatnot? wanted to call because it was your uncle Harry's birthday yesterday and you know he'd never he'd never had a lobster in his whole life and you know he said look uh rothy i don't know how much longer i have till uh you know the big uh you know pineapple in the sky comes and gets me and so before i uh you know

dump a loaf on the floor for the last time i want to uh you know go out for a lobster dinner somewhere So, you know, of course, I took him to the red lobster down by the boardwalk. You know, we remember the little angel when we used to take it down to the boardwalk? Oh, you were so cute. I'll never forget one time there was a little prudal there, and you started playing with it, and then bit you on the leg, and you were crying, and your Aunt Ruthie had to snuggle you in her arms. Oh, you poor little angel, and your poor Uncle Harry put his umbrella right through the prudal's ribcage.

to teach you to lesson. And then, of course, you started crying even more because there was a poodle running around on the boardwalk with an umbrella speared through its side. And then, of course, eventually its lung collapsed and it laid twitching at your feet. Its little beady eyes rolling back in its head. But whatever, I'm off course.

So we went to the Red Lobster and Little Angel. And your poor Uncle Harry, he's never been much of a seat. food eater. He really doesn't know how to handle the seafood. And of course, you know, the first course, the waiter brought some scallops, and your uncle Harry thought they were earplugs, for God's sakes. And so picture of your uncle Harry stuffing those round scallops into his hairy ear holes. It was disgusting. It looked like a sea urchin trying to swallow a marshmallow or something. I mean, I just about threw up into my clam chowder, Angel. I mean, the squishing noises and then you know of course uncle harry couldn't hear very well and of course our

waiter brought out our next daughter some oysters and of course uh you know as a joke he told to harry he said well this will certainly put you in the mood for some love making sir this will get your you know your libido going and when you finish this plate you'll want us to make love to your little lady here you know he was just being nice and i guess you know you're Uncle Harry had the scallops in his ears, for God's sakes. And all he heard was making love, and, you know, the oysters will help you with you. You know what? And so Uncle Harry, for Christ's sake, I was so embarrassed.

All the other people at the restaurant at the Red Lobster looked over. And, you know, it's a fancy place. I mean, you know, you've got to be doing well if you're eating at the Red Lobster, Little Angel. Harry took the oysters under the front of his pants and slid the off. whole tray right down into the front of his underpants. I mean, he had oysters on the half-shell right there up against his, you know, ancient Chinese secret if you know what I mean, Angel. And of course, one of them slammed shot. Your uncle Harry starts screaming, but he doesn't know how loud he's screaming, of course, because he's got the goddamn scalloped in his ears and the whole restaurants,

you know, looking around, wondering what's his old fart doing, screaming his head off. You know, Finally, Harry just, you know, reaches down into his underpants and grabs this, you know, the oist on the half-shell and just a real spectacle. So finally they bring the lobster out, and, you know, Harry's very impatient little angel. I'm sure you remember, he could get cranky sometimes. He tried cracking the lobster tail and the claws for about, you know, maybe about four or five minutes. And, you know, back in the Navy of Uncle Harry used to be a bobby. So, you know, he used to like to punch it out with the boys on the bow of the battleship. And, well, Harry just lost it.

He had no patience for his lobster. He just started punching it, punching it in the face until the shell cracked angel. And there was lobster juice flying everywhere, and people are screaming. And Uncle Harry's got, you know, always on the half-shell sauce on the groin of his, you know, his pants. He looks like, you know, he just read himself watching the exorcist upside down or something. And here he was punching his poor little beady-eyed lobster right in the face and a, cause, you know, a claw flew off his plate and went through the air and hit a little boy in the eye. Both the claws went in this little boy's eyes, and he's rolling around on the floor. And it's just, I mean, the red loft is just a debacle, little angel, I mean, anyways.

So the reason I brought it up is because Uncle Harry, you know, wanted to know that he got your birthday card and he wanted to say thank you. And I just thought I'd share with you. I hope you're doing good, Angel. We miss you so much. And I hope next time you're able to come and join Harry and I at our elegant dinner at the Red Lobster. You're such a little sweet tea. We really miss you. I'm hoping I can get Harry's pants steamed clean.

I mean, you know, after we had his trousers home for a couple of days, it smelled like a, you know, smelled like an outhouse at a Coa campground or something. I mean, good Lord, the rotten smell of seafood and oysters coming right out of his zipper in the front of his pants. It was like, you know, it's like Linda Blair from the Exorcist threw up a pea soup all over on your uncle Harry's, you know, groin area. And then just to rub it in, you know, a pelican. flew by and dropped a seafood shout of shit all over the guy's trousers. I mean, it was just a nightmare, little angel. But anyhow, I'm sure you're busy.

Your Aunt Ruthie loves you. We're so happy you're in our lives, even though we never see you. I hope you're good in your Hollywood's angel. Your Uncle Harry and your Aunt Ruthie love you so much. Oh, you're such a sweet tea. You're said, your little fat face. Goodbye, Amher. Oh, goodbye.

Everything loves you. Goodbye. Stop it. Stop it. You're busting my heart. Heaven's to Murgatroyd. Heavens to Murgatroyd, even. Oh, boy.

Well, let's switch gears to something. Poor Uncle Harry. Just, it doesn't have a clue about much. What a mess. Anyhow, switching gears here, Lurtles and Flirtle Blurgens, to a more serious story, one of the pavement pounders sent me an email at harlomwilliams.com. And it was in reference to a story I did, I guess, about a month ago, where I predicted that Twitter as a stock would start to climb.

would start to become more valuable because of the Trump factor. The fact that the most powerful man in the world is now steadily using Twitter on a daily basis to let the citizens of the world know what he's up to, what he thinks. And remember, this is the most powerful man in the world. So by logic, I was like, you know, there's people globally who are going to want to be in on this instant news from the most powerful man in the world. And so even though the Twitter stock has been languishing and just kind of stuck in neutral for many years now, when it first popped on to the IPO and entered into the stock trading

world, it was like the Wall Street darling. Everyone was freaking out about it. Everyone wanted a piece of it. It was up in like the, the mid-40s. And for the last little, you know, a couple of years, it's been down at like 12 and 13 and blah, blah, blah. So I was like Twitter ship might have just come in with Donald Trump. I think he might re-infuse it with some energy, with some interest. And I predicted that because he was on it,

many more people would jump on it. And when you have more people using a product, That creates more revenue stream. That creates more interest. That creates more of everything. It's like any business. Customers are good. And so I just kind of used a common sense approach to make my prediction.

And check out this following headline that one of the pavement founders, Brian, sent me. The headline reads, Twitter analyst, upgrade, Stokes, President Trump bump, and potential merger. I'll read a bit of the story here. If you've followed Twitter as an investment for very long, chances are high you would agree that it has hurt more long-term investors than it is rewarded. Twitter may have received a second life after President Donald Trump has continued to use Twitter as his primary first efforts for public communications rather than old world media. And maybe it really is true that nothing lasts forever, even if that has been for longer than most investors would care to remember.

Twitter just received an analyst upgrade on Wednesday, February 8th. They raised Twitter's stock rating to buy from neutral. He also assigned a $25 price target. Well, that's pretty high. I think that's where I came in. I think I said, I think when I did the story, Twitter was sitting at I think 13 or 14 And I predicted it would get up between like 25 and 40 I think

I'm not sure you can go back and listen to the original podcast I did But it's it's nice to see that I was kind of ahead of the curve on this rationale And it says here much of the rationale on these numbers much of this upgrade is around the president's use of Twitter and the opportunity it brings. Well, how about that? Hmm? I like it.

Let's see if I can read a little bit more around here on this. The upgrade was based on the belief that Twitter's daily active user growth is accelerating. That was particularly the case in the United States, which is disapprope, disup. disproportionate impact on Twitter's revenue and profits. So I think that's kind of cool. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to

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This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. The evidence of growing user engagement is evident in a meaningful uptick in downloads of the Twitter application. A survey that shows an increase in daily usage. It is undeniable that Twitter has been thrust into the global zeitgeis following the U.S. presidential election. Experts believe the second half of 2017 revenues could exceed investor expectations with 2018 well above consensus. well how about that they're kind of comparing uh president trump's use of twitter with president franklin roosevelt's fireside chats radio broadcasts i think i said something about that too roosevelt used those fireside chats to communicate directly to the public and his audience was an

estimated 60 million americans it shows that trump's twitter followers notably accept after the election and have more than doubled in the past six months, now over 24 million. So I think it's safe to say that, you know, in another five, six months, maybe a year. Do you think it's safe to say that Donald Trump's Twitter followers will be over 50 million? I won't be surprised if it just keeps going and going. Not only is President Trump actively using Twitter to communicate directly with the American people, his tweets are impacting consumers all around the world. But we believe this is clearly helping drive users of the Twitter platform.

It is the ability for consumers to react in real time to these tweets that is driving engagement higher. Listening to FDR's fireside chats had no outlet for easy airing their views, beyond one-to-one conversations or a letter to the editor of a newspaper, whereas Twitter creates a relatively frictionless way for people to share their views and create an ongoing dialogue with other consumers around the globe. It says President Trump is giving people a reason to be actively engaged on an ongoing basis. President Trump is actually not an anomaly, as a politician using Twitter as direct broadcast mediums.

What makes use of Twitter, what makes Trump's use of Twitter different is the importance of the content he's putting on Twitter. Trump is paving the way for other public figures to be more forthcoming on Twitter, and much more importantly, is a place for consumers to look and react to those messages. Trump is giving consumers a reason

to learn how to use Twitter, furthering the reason for public figures, etc. to put content on the platform. Twitter is an effect getting a second chance to attract and retain users. Well, you know what? I think that's kind of exactly what I said. Way before this article. So to me it was just common sense. But it's nice to see the experts backing me up. Look at me, puffing my chest out a little bit here. Now again, I am not a stock market expert. I'm not. I'm not telling you to go and buy Twitter stock. I'm just telling you what I've done, my thoughts. I bought Twitter stock when it first emerged and went public way back when, and I bought it

higher than it is now. But I always believed that for some reason, I believe that Twitter would rebound and climb back up and, you know, make its way. And who knew that the outsource spoken President Donald Trump might actually be the vehicle, whether you like them or not, guess what? If you do want to gamble on Twitter, if you do want to gamble on the stock going up the way I think it's going to, you may hate Trump, but Trump might put some dollars in your pocket. So how about that? Let's see how hypocritical all you Trump haters are. What if I told you that if you bought Twitter stock today, that it would be up by, you know, a big jump at the end of the year. And it would be the direct result of Donald Trump. Would you as a Trump

hater jump on board? Or would you, would you on principle go, oh, hell no. I ain't taking no free money. I'm not going to, I'm not going to buy Twitter. I'll show Trump. a thing or two. I'll show Trump how smart I am by not taking free money. I'll show Trump how principled I am in this democratic capitalist society. I'll show him that the best way to not be capitalist and make money and feed my family and pay my rent is to not take money or whatever. how you have an argument. But again, I don't have a crystal ball. I don't know. The stock could go down. Trump could easily say, you know what? I've had enough of Twitter and get off of it.

He might not use it anymore. Who knows? But for now, to me, it makes sense that when you got a guy like that who the whole world is watching, the whole world wants to listen to, I don't know. that's that's like watching race horses go around the track and you're like that one is clearly the fastest that one is clearly going to you know net me some results i'm going to bet on that one i know i have you don't have to i'm not recommending you do i'm just telling you what i what i've done so we'll see i think i gave it till the end of the year to see how high uh twitter will climb or how low it could could be a big lemon for all I know. But I'm hanging on. I'm holding on to my stock until the end of the

year and we'll see where it sits. So thank you for sending in that story. And as you know with the volatile stock market, things can change on a dime. But you know what? Right now, I'm going to stand by my story and I feel that that stock is going to keep rising. But whatever. I know. I'm just the guy that bought Google when it went public. I'm just the guy that bought Apple just before the first iPhone went out. I'm just the guy that bought Netflix when everyone ran away when Netflix went from hard DVDs to digital and they lost almost half of their members. And I just went, oh, well, guess what? Times are a changing. And once all those people left, realize that everything now is digital and they can just click a button on their computer, they'll all come running back to Netflix because Netflix is the only one doing this. And they'll see that putting DVDs in the mail is a pain in the ass. Guess who went in and bought a bunch of Netflix when that happened?

Yep. I went in and bought Netflix at 83 and it went up to like over 800 or something. It went so high that the stock split, and then I bought it again. So, you know, you don't have to listen to me. By the way, I bought a few stocks that didn't do so well either. So I don't want to sit here and sound like a complete jackass. But I did buy some good ones, and I did have some good predictions on, you know, I try to buy common sense stocks.

I don't go for the pork bellies. and the guy who invented an automatic foot tickler and, you know, the guy who created a different type of oil gun to grease the wheels of a bulldozer. It's like I go for the real predictable kind of ones that I think people need or want. So there you go for what it's worth. Thank you for writing to me. If you want to write to me at Harlanwiams.com, maybe I'll read your letter on the air. Brian didn't really send me a letter.

He just really sent me this article, the link to this article. So thank you, Brian. And I think Brian actually said he went out and bought some Twitter stock after my podcast a month ago. So, Brian, I certainly hope it works out for you. I certainly hope it pays out for you. And we'll see what happens. It's your call. All we do here is talk about it.

Talk, talk, talk, talk. Podcast, podcast, podcast. Oh, the sound of money. Music to the years, right? Speaking of music to the years, I want to end the show with a cool little announcement here. Myself and my cousin will be releasing our first big music EP. That's right.

Me and my cousin, Kevin Huron. who's a member of the band The Bare Naked Ladies. And I, we are first cousins to our mother. For our whole lives, we've been making music together, singing songs. Every now and then I'll play one of our goofy songs for you here on the podcast. But we actually stepped into the studio and we actually laid down like a serious album. The two of us got together and we hacked out like 10. songs, nine or ten songs, and we're really proud of it. We really worked hard on them.

These songs are real. They're not like goofy. They're not comedic. They're not. It's like a real effort. We got real professional musicians. We got the bare naked ladies playing on some of them. We got some really cool guest people and guest producers are working on them. And it's an album. It's called Rattlesnake Love. And it's coming out, it's coming out, April. Let me see. I think I have the date here. What is the date that it's coming out? Bada-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-da-a-da-da-a-da-a-bo-bba-da.

Where the hell is it? There it is. March, March 17th. March 17th, you will be able to purchase our... album Rattlesnake Love on iTunes and it's really, we're really excited about it. It's a lot of eclectic songs. It's not like, it's not like your standard, you know, rock and roll album where a band kind of sounds the same from start to finish. Our album is speckled with, we have love songs, we have techno songs, we have country songs, we have tear jerker songs, we have, we have We have like some kind of bizarre songs.

We have some very sorrowful songs. I mean, it's a whole mishmash. It's a whole collection of different songs. And we really hope you guys dig it. If you want to learn more about it, you can go to the Cousins Band website, the cousinsband.com. And you can check out our website.

you can kind of peruse around. You can kind of see what we're up to. You can get more updates, more knowledge about the project, about the band, about myself, about Kevin, and so on and so forth. And we're even going to hopefully in about a week have one of the sample songs up there that you can listen to for free.

The cover song, Rattlesnake Love, which is kind of a dark, moody, cool song that, you know, you'd be the judge. But anyways, I just wanted to put that out there, give you guys a heads up, and I will certainly keep talking about it in the lead-up to March 17th. In the meantime, like I said,

check out the website, the cousinsband.com, and hopefully you guys will jump on the cousins train and enjoy our music. So there you go. I'll leave it right there. We're excited about it. rattlesnake love baby and in case you're wondering what rattlesnake love is rattlesnake love is kind of that tumultuous love

you know it's like when two lovers like love each other but they hate each other you know it's that kind of toxic poison love relationship you ever have sex or make love or date someone you don't even like anymore but you're still like on an animalistic level you're attracted to them you've still got that primal sexual urge and you'll you'll like hate blank them or you'll just you know you're just so deep into it that you can't break away even though you know you're bad for each other and you're dangerous for each other that's kind of the gist of rattlesnake love so there you go fun stuff uh meanwhile if you want to switch gears let's go to my uh comedy uh shows i'll be in Spokane, Washington at the Spokane Comedy Club.

Yes, this weekend, my first time doing stand-up up in Spokane. That's going to be February 16th to the 18th, Thursday through Saturday, February 16 to the 18th, the Spokane Comedy Club. Get your tickets, man. It is going to be awesome. And then going into March, March 2nd to March 4th, I will be in Phoenix, Arizona. it's stand-up live. Great club as well. Really looking forward to doing that. And then, of course, as I said, March 17th, we release Rattlesnake Love out to the world.

If you want to get into April, April 2nd, I'll be in Erie, Pennsylvania at the comedy club out there. You can go to my website and look at all these dates, harlomwilums.com. You can even buy your tickets right there. on the website, Harlan Williams.com. Just go to the stand-up comedy link while you're there. Check out our store. We've got all kinds of great t-shirts and music and artwork and all kinds CDs, DVDs, all that stuff.

Really cool stuff. Please check it out. Also, get our free app on your cell phone. Just go to your app store. Type in the Harland Highway podcast. Boom. There it is. you get it twice a week, absolutely free.

And if you want to become a premium member for $20 a year, you get all the backlogged episodes, starting from number one, all the way up to like $850. It's a really good deal. That is like hours upon hours upon hours of content. And then on top of getting all that content from time to time, I drop in special bonus stuff, live stand-up comedy shows, interviews, character stuff.

So for 20 bucks a year, it's a pretty sweet deal. Hope you get on board the premium member package. So that's it for today. I will keep you updated. And I'm also going to keep you updated on my new TV show that's coming out in April as well. I'll tell you about that next time. It is really smoking, man.

It's looking really amazing. I can't wait to fill you guys in on my new TV show, which also pops in April. So there you go. That's it for today. Hope you had a great time, everybody. Thanks for being here. Tell your friends to get on the Harland Highway.

We love you. We want your friends to be here and have fun. And until next time, chicken. Chalemaine, baby. Uncle hairy stuffing those round scallops into his hairy ear holes. It was disgusting. It looked like a, looked like a sea urchin trying to swallow a marshmallow or something.

I mean, I just about threw up into my clam chowder, Angel. I mean...