The Harland Highway - 846 - A call from JIM MORRISON of The DOORS. Fast food WEDDINGS!

Episode Date: February 23, 2017

Legendary rocker JIM MORRISON of The DOORS calls the show. Crazy wedding story. Calls from listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, and I'll say it one more time, okay. That's a whole buffet of okay, okay. Okay, okay. Hey, it's Harlan Williams. You are on the Harlan Highway podcast. I will be guiding you through this madness today. And what a show we have today, man. We have Jim Morrison from the doors. You know, it's been rumored for decades that he's still alive. And my producer Roger tracked Jim Morrison, the lead singer of The Doors down, and he's going to call the show. And we're going to have a conversation with this artist, this singer, this poet. I'm just over the moon because I'm a huge Doors fan. So this is going to be amazing later in the show. Also, we've got some calls coming in.

We're going to play a few of your phone calls from you, the pavement pounders. I always love getting your phone calls. It's so much fun. So we're going to be playing a few of those, and I'll be responding to those and reacting. And then later in the show, a crazy news story. Have any of you thought about being married? Well, wait to you here in this crazy news story where you can get married for real cheap. Oh, it is weird.

It is wild. It is crazy. That's what we call it a crazy news story. So let's do it. Put on your helmet. This is the Harlan. Highway. Sit down, strap in, and tighten your diaper.

Come here, baby. You're about to go down the Harlan Highway. No! I didn't bargain for this. Oh, yes, you did. Chick-chic-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chall-main, baby. And the creature from all the space. Please don't stop.

I got to see that ugly face. You might never set before me. This is the Harland Highway. I hate you. Well, that's the way it goes. What do you say? We get down to business. Hello.

Hello? Hey, Harlan. and appreciate your podcast about the New Year's resolutions and the bucket list. Keep motivating, keep inspiring. I really appreciate it. I think you should visit Encore Watt in Cambodia. It's really amazing. And the Philippines, the Philippines, people are so friendly.

They're so funny. They love to laugh. They love American culture. So I think you'd have a good time interacting with the Filipinos. Hey, Wes. Thanks again. Check our job! Ah! Yes, yes.

I'm glad you liked the episode about the bucket list and the New Year's resolutions. And as far as Angor Wat goes, I'm ahead of you, bud. I've already been to Angkor Wat. Yes. In Cambodia, it's an incredible place. For those of you that don't know what Angkor Wat is, it's those ancient temples that they found in the jungles of Cambodia. I might have seen pictures, that there's giant tree roots coming out of temples. They look like giant octopus arms growing out of the stone structures.

And the temple itself is a giant temple surrounded by a moat. It's the most beautiful and serene place. There's monks walking around. I spent some time in Angor Watt, and I remember there are actually of monks. They walk around in this temple and, you know, it's still a functioning temple. And they walk around in these orange robes. They're bald and they wear sandals and they're very peaceful people. And I remember I was, you know, I spent some time in Angor Watt. I went into the buildings with all their tree roots and then I went up into the top of the temple where the tower is and I just sat there

and I kind of meditated, and then I went down into the courtyard, and I was mingling with the monks. And it was funny, they started talking to me. They started, like, you know, saying things like peace and prosperity and, you know, all this kind of old age, you know, old culture wisdom. And I kind of had to tap into my North American sensibility, and I started singing Dust in the Wind, You know, it's like, like they were deep.

These guys were deep, and they were coming at me with, you know, this stuff. And so I reached into my depths, and I seriously, I started singing, Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind. Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. Oh, we You know, you know, so I went on And they just stared at me, they're like, what? I think they kind of liked it.

And then when I was finished, they bowed. And I felt like we exchanged, you know, cultural, spiritual depth. They reached out to me through their voice, And I reached out through the words of the band, Kansas. And I think I did a podcast about it, way back, like way, way back. You could probably go back and find it somewhere. But it was a fun story.

So Cambodia, yes. I haven't been to the Philippines. I've been to Indonesia. I went to Komodo Island. The only islands in the world. There's three islands where the giant Komodo dragon lives. And I went on safari on the Komoto islands in search of the Komodo dragon. And if you go back far enough, you'll probably two years or three years.

You'll find my podcast about that. So been in the region. Should probably get to the Philippines. Thank you for the suggestion. And great call, man. Great call. And I'm glad you were inspired by the bucket list and my episode about having some New Year's resolutions.

And yeah, we got to inspire each other, man. So hopefully it causes you to reach out, explore the world, obtain your goals, reach your objectives, all that fun stuff. Roger, let's take another call. This caller got me in the mood. Put another call up. Hello. Ireland, it's John from Casey, and I've been at work all week out of town,

and I'm coming home right now. I'm in the Jeep driving home, and I'm getting ready to have some coming home sex. Get out of the way, everybody. I'm coming home. Man, the wife, we're going to have some coming home sex. We're going to do every position under the sun because I haven't seen her for a week. It's coming home sex is the best. Ireland, you've got to get married again so you can have some coming home sex every week.

Peace out. Oh, yeah. I hear you. Woo-hoo! Yes. The old coming home sex. Yeah. Oh, man, that's another old topic I did on a podcast way back.

where I talked about, you know, when you're traveling and you know, your partner's waiting for you at home and it's been a while, it's been a few days or a few weeks and you've been on a trip. Or maybe you've just been at work. Maybe you just left her in the morning and you can't wait to get home and make love to your sweet woman. Or if you're a woman, you're sweet man.

And I did a whole segment about how you, you know, you drive fast and you go through yellow light. and you get up on the curb and your heart's racing and your groin's tingling and your mouth is watering and you just, oh, and you know she's waiting for you. She told you on the phone, get your ass home. I want to jump your bones and, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I'm glad you're having some getting home sex, going home sex. Because then when you fly through the door, you just attack each other, man. and you said I should get married again. You don't necessarily have to be married. I'm coming home sex, man. You know, you can have a girlfriend or you can have a friend with benefits

or, you know, whatever. You don't necessarily have to, you know, be married. You just got to have a willing partner who wants to reciprocate and boom, it's on, baby. Coming home, sex. Thanks for the call, man. I hope you had a lot of good, as you said, in every position.

Coming home sex, mercy. By George, I think he's got it. And speaking of, you know, love and spirituality and sex and the soul, you know, one of my favorite musicians, one of my favorite artists was always Jim Morrison from the doors. And this is, it's a bit of an odd day here because, you know, he died way back when. And he died, I think, when he was 26 or some ridiculous early age. And, you know, I think based on what I've read about Jim, he considered himself a poet more than he did a rock star.

And if you listen to his lyrics, they're very poetic. Very interpretive, very spiritual. You know, a lot deeper than kind of the lyrics you get nowadays. And there's always been rumors that his death was faked, that he never really died, that he got so turned off. from, you know, the world of fame and rock and roll and money and music that he just checked out. And if anyone kind of had the temperament to do that kind of thing or the mystique to do that type of thing, it would probably be Jim Morrison.

And so there's always been rumors swirling that Morrison was still alive, that he's out there. And this is weird, but Roger, my producer, I guess there's a guy calling for, Where is it from Paris? Yeah. Okay, Roger's telling me there's a guy from Paris around the same age of Jim would be today, which, by the way, Paris is where Jim Morrison supposedly died way back when. And Roger's been talking to a guy over the last. How long, Roger?

Several months, almost half a year? Because you thought he was a phony, right? Rogers, okay, so Roger, some guy reached out to Roger. claiming to be Jim Morrison from the doors. And I guess Jim is a bit incensed about the state of the world, the state of the world affairs, the political landscape, the global landscape, the social landscape. And I guess he was so perturbed that he decided to come out of hiding

and he wants to reach out and have his voice heard. And Roger's been going back and forth with this guy And according to Roger, I mean, he's checked facts over facts and references over references. And Roger seems to be able to verify that this is, in fact, the real Jim Morrison. Right, Roger? Yeah. I mean, short of a DNA swab, I mean, Roger's been conversing with this guy and this guy's been coming up with all the right answers. So for lack of better information, we are going to do an exclusion.

interview with Jim Morrison from the doors here on the Harland Highway today. This is exciting, man. I mean, I can't wait to hear what he has to say about the shape the world's in. I mean, global warming, politics, the environment, you know, sex, love, spirituality. I mean, is he on the line? He's calling him from Paris? Good. Okay, this is big, folks. This is big. Nobody's talked to Jim Morrison in decades. And we are the first here to break this. We are the first to hear Jim Morrison's

voice in almost maybe, what, 30 years? Maybe 30, almost 40 years. So without further ado, put them through. Boy, oh boy, this is exciting. Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Morrison from the doors. Uh, hello, Mr. Morrison. Jim Morrison, are you there, sir? Hi. Jim? Hi, how are you? We're good. How are you? Where have you been? I've been riding the white sky into the black mystique of the Forever Hole.

Whoa, whoa, okay. I got you. I got you, Jim. Man, it's good to hear your voice. I almost sound like you haven't aged at all. Age is a time is a place where eggs crackle in the pan and bacon spits in the eye of the dragon. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Okay, so let's get into it. I mean, it's just good to hear you're alive. I mean, to hear your breathing, to hear your voice.

The voice whispered over the mountain top. The moon sang into the sunlight. And a baby cried with an onion. Okay, good, good, good, good, good. It sounds like you're still in top form. We want to hear, you know, your opinion about what's going on in the world. I mean, because, you know, it seems like people have shallow answers, answers that aren't well thought out.

But someone with you seems to have a real depth and kind of a real deeper kind of artistic vision. visionary perception of things. I mean, can we start with the environment? Can we start with global warming? Do you feel global warming is real or just science? The sun warmed or empty land. The children ran.

They ran across the ice into the arms of the sun queen. Cry, cry. singing to the night the lizard likes to take a bite and I will find you on the other side of life's marmalade sky

eat some pie, eat some pie, the sun is in my eye. So the sun with, so the planet's warming, up? Is that what you're saying, Jim?

Heat climbs to the soul of the dead lizard. The Chinese farmer finds rice. In the satchel behind the house where pain married institutionalism. What about

the political climate? I mean, you know, there's a lot of people that are in an uproar about the new president, Donald Trump. They're worried about the direction of the country. What are your thoughts about the political theater that's going on right now, Jim? Wrap your arms around the lightning. Let the lightning take your hair. It warms the soul

of the goat, the floating goat on the midnight psoriasis. Oh, oh, there's a tree bending, bending at the knee. Um, you know, I appreciate the, the depth of your answers, the, the artistry of your words, Jim, but, but, you know, if you could give us a little more clarity, uh, I mean, there's a lot going on in the world. What, what about, uh, what about ISIS and, and, uh, the, the, the, the, the Russians and they, you know. When continents collide. The feathers fall off the bird, and when teardrops go into the sponge, the sponge will eat their souls and spread their legs to die. Okay, Jim, we're going to need some answers that kind of make a little more sense for our listeners here, okay? This is nice.

You're still in top form. The poet in you is alive and well, but what? For example, what do you think about Brexit? The thing in Great Britain, where they exit the American Union? I want babies to throw the spears through the hearts of those that hate the world. And when God chastised the children, the leaves fell from the tree and wandered through the forest of antiquity. ticking clocks and flying flames

I want to Stop! Stop! Can I just get a real answer? Well, man, that's kind of I don't like yelling. Well, Jim, I'm sorry, but with all due respect, sir, you're not you're making sense

but not really. Well, maybe that's what's wrong with the world today, man. I mean, I'm just trying, mind to, you know, tell you what I feel, tell you what's going on in my soul, and, you know, if you don't want to hear it. No, no, we want to hear it, but, man, it's, it's almost a little too deep for any of us to comprehend.

At the bottom of the river, the fish eye looked up, and the stars twinkled up above, and the night swallow dropped its heart into the center of eternity. Yeah, okay, can I ask, what do you think about electric cars? I mean, I'm just going for anything here. Fry in the night, the children cry for the sister of the mother and the daughter of the son. I want to bury your head in an oven full of glazed eternity. All right, you know what? I think, I think maybe we're out of time here, Jim.

Time is but a metaphor for people to ride the motorcycle into the depths of the cavernous eye socket. And when babies crawl into the eggshell, may the pheasants of a thousand flared lips crawl into the abyss of the rotten tomato. Okay, you know what? Goodbye. Goodbye is for never for never, and ever is for forever. And never say goodbye into a baby's eye. Goodbye. Goodbye, baby, goodbye. For the crying children in the willows, rush down the river for the eternal crow who cries in the night. Shut up! God! I got a headache from that fucking guy. Roger, you... Are you 100% sure this was Jim Morrison?

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Conjunction, junction, what's your function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses. Junction, junction, how's that function? I got three favorite cards that get most of my job done. All it runs! The Harland Highway. Crazy news stories. That's weird.

Wow. That's strange stuff. I think you're crazy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think you're crazy. You know, one of the things in life that people get crazy about is getting married. many of you are married, want to be married, aspire to be married, dream of being married to your beloved, your better half, your second part, your Simey's twin freak child.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, Charles. Anyways, this crazy news story, you know, one of the big dilemmyos, dilemmas of getting married is figuring out where to do it. You know, do you do it at a banquet hall? Do you do it at a church? Do you do it at a casino? Do you do it in a bingo hall? Do you do it at your rich uncle's house? Do you do it at a hotel at their amount of inn?

Where do you get married? And very often people, you know, want to do it unique. They want something a little different. So here's my headline today for the crazy news story. Check it out. Here's the headline, yep. You can get married at Taco Bell in Las Vegas. Oh, my God.

Wow. I don't know if that's a good thing or a cheap thing, but let's read this story here. Not everyone dreams of a wedding at Taco Bell, but if you met your significant other in line for late-night tacos, this might be for you. Taco Bell is giving two taco lovers the chance to tie the knot in the fast food chain's Las Vegas Cantina restaurant as part of its Love and Tacos contest.

To enter the contest, couples simply tell what role Taco Bell played in their love story in a photo or a 30-second video and posted on Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag Love and Tacos contest. Starting March 1st, fans will vote on their favorite couples and judges will choose the finalist. Listen, we all know there's all walks of life, gang, but if you're meeting your significant other in a line at Taco Bell,

she, you know, You might want to take a second look. I mean, we all love Taco Bell. I don't want to knock it too much. But let's face it, when do you go to Taco Bell? You're drunk, you're stoned, you don't have any money, you've had a night of bad judgment, or maybe not. Look, I've got a little money in my pocket.

I feel like I'm a guy with good judgment. I go to Taco Bell from time to time. So I guess I shouldn't knock it, but I guess I'm just saying I don't know that I ever, you know, walk through life thinking, God, I should go into that Taco Bell. I'm sure I'll meet the girl of my dreams in there. I mean, look at that place. There's got to be hot chicks in there. I don't know. I guess love's like that.

Right? You can meet people. You never know where you're going to meet people. Maybe it's the best place to meet people. Let's continue here. The winning couple will get free airfare to Las Vegas, Las Vegas, a Taco Bell catered dinner at the chain's Las Vegas restaurant. Mmm, a cater dinner. Who brings out the pimply-faced kid working the cash register? Hey, congratulations, John, your nuptials. Do you want hot sauce with this, like mild or medium? And can I get you a Pepsi from the soda machine? Oh, my God. You also get Taco Bell T-shirts, champagne flutes,

and a slew of other perks like wedding photography, a private pool cabana, and a VIP table, at a nightclub. I don't know. Do you want wedding pictures at a Taco Bell? I mean, you know you show those to people.

People are going to, oh cute, you got married and after the ceremony you drove to Taco Bell for some fast food? No, man, we actually got married right in the Taco Bell. No, seriously, that's so cute. Like, you know, I get it. It's like, you know, you have the wedding and you've got to be so formal

and you've got all your friends and family and you do the dinner and the toasting and the speeches and after you get out when it's you're just like you know what that was so overwhelming let's just go to Taco Bell I get it uh no man we actually had the wedding

uh ceremony in the Taco Bell uh we actually had the manager of the Taco Bell perform the nuptials um okay you're both sitting me right so let's See, for couples who don't win the contest, but still dream of saying, I do while nibbling on a Doritos cheesy gordita crunch, there is still an opportunity to tie the knot at the flagship restaurant. This summer couples can purchase a $600 Taco Bell wedding package and walk up to the counter and order a wedding right off the menu.

What the hell? Uh, yeah, I'd like, uh, I'd like the number two, um, soft-shelled taco combo with extra sour cream and onions. Uh, I'd like a chalupa, um, four gorditos, um, nine, um, cordatos, six chimichongas, four filopios, and I'd like to fucking get married, too. Oh, can I get that? marriage to go because we want to go home and have like honeymoon sex. I mean, come on, man. It says here, if you're shaking your head at the idea of getting married on the cheap at Taco Bell, you might want to reconsider a 2014 study at a economics university.

Professors found the couples who spend less on their wedding may stay together longer. Could the key to a long marriage? be a wedding at Taco Bell? Well, hey, there you go. Maybe there's an upside to getting married at Taco Bell. Me, I'm a Popeye's chicken guy, man. It's like, hey, man, you want to get married? Yes.

Okay, you like fried chicken. No. Okay, screw you. I'll ask someone else. Hey, you over there, you want to get married? Yes. You like fried chicken? I love it.

Let's go, fatty. Um, I don't know. Is this going to open the door? Are you hearing what I'm hearing? A McWedding? Yeah, that's right. A McDonald's McWedding? How about a drive-thru wedding at Wendy's? I now pronounce you, man and wife, and your baconator's ready as well. Um, isn't that nice that everything worked out at the same time? Now, can you hurry your asses out of?

the drive-thru, we've got a Prius behind you that needs to get their their Cobb salad. I mean, do you want to get married at Burger King by the Burger King himself? You know, that freak you see on the TV commercials that with the

plastic face? I now pronounce you man and wife, and would you like fries with that wedding? I mean, It's, you know, it's America, man, only in America, right? God bless America. Let's, uh, whew, let's, uh, let's, uh, let's, you know, let's tip our hats, bow our dresses,

boil our eggplants to the ingenuity and the innovation of America. If any of you get married at Taco Bell, I hope you get to the honeymoon before the diarrhea. Let's just put it that way, all right? Run for the border, holy crap. I want taco bell. Now you can get two tacos for just 99 cents. Why some?

You want some? Yes, I want some. I want to get married at Taco Bell, but I want to get divorced at Chick-fil-A, if that's all right with you. Oh, it just keeps going, right? Anyways, I think that's a good place to wrap it up. Just let the imagery of this crazy land we call America swirl in your head, right? Speaking of crazy America, let's talk about some crazy antics I'll be up to.

If you're in Phoenix, Arizona, baby, I will. be there at Stand Up Live. It's a beautiful stand-up comedy club in downtown Phoenix. I'll be there March 2nd of March 4th, Thursday through Saturday. And it is, I got to tell you, Phoenix is one of my top cities. I travel all over the United States, and Phoenix has some of my biggest fan base. I usually do very, very well in Phoenix. I've always had a great history of doing stand-up shows there. The fans and the citizens and the good people of Phoenix have always come out to support me. So I am super stoked to be coming to stand up live. I used to do the improv there, but that shut down. And now I'm doing stand-up live, which is right downtown. So please

get your tickets. Go to Harlandwilums.com and get your tickets for Stand-Up Live in Phoenix, on March 2nd to the 4th, okay? And then later on in April, I will be, well, actually, the end of March, March 30th to April 1st. I will be in Erie, Pennsylvania at the Comedy Club out there. And then I'll be at the Funny Bone in Virginia Beach, April 7th through the 9th. and just some good gigs coming up. I'll be in Connecticut, April 20th, at the casino, way out there in the woods, at Comics.

The club's called Comics with an X. That's April 20th to the 22nd. But for all this information and to purchase your tickets, go to Harlandwilliams.com, and you are in, baby. Also, while you're there, check out our store. We have all kinds of fun merchandise for you available. and while you're there, check out the rest of the website. I've added a new page on the website called Voices.

Many of you aren't aware that I do a lot of cartoon voices and you can kind of go through the page and check out the different cartoon voices. You may or may not have known that I've done over the years. A lot of fun. Also, check out the music page. We've got some cool, stuff about my new album coming out with my cousin.

My band called The Cousins. We have a new record coming out in March called Rattlesnake Love. And on that page, there's also a link to our web page, the cousinsband.com. So if you're up for perusing the internet, no. Also, if you want to write me an email, you can write me at harlornwilliams.com on the contact link, or if you want to leave me a phone message.

Love getting phone messages from you pavement pounders. 323-739-4330. That's 323-739-4-3-3-0. The number is on the website. So check it out, baby. Also, please become a premium member. For $20 a year, you get the whole catalog of Harland Highway Podcasts, 850 episodes or very close to that.

Plus, you get the occasional bonus thing that I do just for premium members, stand-up comedy shows, books, interviews, you know, extra bonus stuff just for the premium members. But the big score is you get the whole backlog library of every Harland Highway podcast I've ever done. That's like years of listening for $20. So for those of you that have already joined, I truly appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And for those of you that want to have more and more comedy and enlightenment and nonsense, jump on board, 20 bucks, and you're in like Flynn. And that's it, man. Also, lastly, don't forget, you can get the Harland Highway on your cell phone.

Just go to your app store, type in the Harland Highway, and you can listen on your phone if you're on a airplane, if you're out for a walk, if you're sitting at a coffee shop, if you're in your cubicle, whatever you're doing. Now you can have it right there on your iPhone. Just get the app. Sound cool, man? All right. Well, I got to get to Taco Bell. I got to meet my bride in about half an hour, so I don't want to be late. I got to beat the lunchtime rush, you know what I mean? So thanks for being here, everyone. Have a groovy. groovy weekday, month, year. I love you guys, and thanks for listening.

Tell your friends to get on the Harland Highway. I don't know if you can, you know, send the link or send whatever out on your social media or through your email, but I want to spread the word. I want to grow our audience so everybody can get in on it. And if you're from another country, if you're from England or Germany or Jamaica or Dusseldorf or for Sweden or China. Spread the word, man. I'm counting on you, you global pavement pounders,

to spread the word. I'm anointing you the official spreader of the worders, if that's even literate. But, you know, I don't have a lot of access over there, so I want you guys over there in other parts of the world who listen to, I'm going to put it upon you to expose your friends and your family and people on your social media to the Harlan Highway.

Can you do that for me? I would really appreciate it because, and also I'd love you guys to phone me if you can. I'd love to hear feedback from other parts of the world. I just want to hear a British accent in my voicemail. I want to hear different accents. I want to hear different points of view from different parts of the world. It'd be really cool.

So if you're listening somewhere other than North America, and you have the wherewithal to phone me and leave a voicemail. I would love to hear from you. You know, I think about the other people and other countries that listen to the show a lot. I honestly do, and I'm a little bit curious and want to find out more about you. So 323-739-4-3-0.

The voice message thing rings about eight times, and then it clicks in, and then you have about two minutes. So don't be discouraged if it's ringing and ringing it will. It will kick in. All right, guys, that's it. Thank you for being here. Rock and roll forever. And until next time, chicken.

Chalmayne, baby. When continents collide, the feathers fall off the bird. And when teardrops go into the sponge, the sponge will eat their souls and spread their legs to die. Thank you.