The Harland Highway - 848 - Listener MAIL BAG - A letter from an anti TRUMP guy!

Episode Date: March 2, 2017

Harland reads mail from the Pavement Pounders MAIL BAG and gets a phone call from an irate listener. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, yeah, yow, yow, yeah, yow, yeah. Hey, pavement pounders, welcome to the Harland Highway. I'm Harlan Williams, your nutty host. You're very attractive, sexy host. Hey, we have an interesting show today. I know some of you don't like it, so if you want to skip the beginning, the beginning of the podcast, I am in a comment on President Trump's speech last night to the house.

He gave a speech to the Dems and the Republicans. It was his first real speech to them since becoming the president. And I wanted to chime in and assess what I thought, share my opinions and thoughts. And you can listen in, or if you don't like that kind of talk, you can skip on through to the rest of the podcast. But on the rest of the podcast, we're doing the listener mailbag. So we actually got some phone calls and some letters. We got people who like Trump, who hate Trump, who talk about other things. It's a real mix because that's what you get when you got a mailbag.

You get a whole mixture. So it's your letters. I read them. I respond to them and some fun stuff. And I really appreciate you guys calling in and writing in. Great to hear from you and get your feedback. So let's do it. Here we go.

Let's get it started. This is the Harle. Highway Sit down Strap in And tighten your diaper Come here, baby You're about to go down

The Harlan Highway No I didn't bargain for this Oh yes you did Chick-chic-cha Chichich-a-ch-ch-ch-choo-main, baby And the creature From all the spayee

Please don't stop I got to feed Ugly sight Magnificent performance This is the Harland Highway I hate you Well that's the way it goes What do you say

We get down to business Yeah Come on now Everybody What am I everybody what What am I everybodying about Um, d'allow. You can't just, you just can't, you can't, you can't, you can't just yell, hey, everybody. And then you don't have any, like, follow up. Like, okay, everybody do what? I don't know. Um, I want to comment about, uh, the, uh, President Trump's, uh, little speech last night to the, uh, the Congress.

I don't know. I mean, can you be objective enough to look at that? Can you look at that man's speech and go, that's a maniac, that's a racist, that's a guy that doesn't want to help people, that's a guy that doesn't want to stimulate business in America, that's a guy that doesn't have patriotism, that's a guy that doesn't want to protect you, that's a guy that isn't standing up for children and minorities. and trying to look for a health care that's better than one that's broken? I mean, you know, if Obamacare is broken, which it seems like it is, why is their opposition to trying to make it better to fix it? To create a better system for you, the citizens of the United States of America?

You shouldn't get married to whose names on it. You know, if you can take a car or a cell phone or your house and you can do home improvements or you can restore or you can upgrade your phone, are you going to do it? Yes. So if this man's taking a health care system that Obama did with all the right intentions and I think it was a good thing, actually, that he's trying to get everyone covered. but it was a it was a it was a big order it was a tall order and uh you know it's it's very complex and i admire president obama for putting this forth i mean who wouldn't want

every citizen of the united states to have health care it was ambitious and it was robust and of course when something's that big and new you're going to find faults in it it doesn't matter what party you're affiliated to. And so as cracks appear in this massive health bill, you've got to repair the cracks. Like you'd repair a potholes in a road. And so Trump, even though he says he's abolishing and replacing, it's still a health care package that Obama got started

and they're going to get rid of it because it's flawed. hopefully introduce something better and faster and smoother and cheaper. Is that a bad thing? You can't hate something just because it has Trump's name on it. You've got to look at what the product is at the end of the day. You know, that's like saying, well, I'm never going to buy a Volkswagen, even though they're great cars, there's the whole war thing. I'm never going to buy anything from Japan because we were at war and they killed a lot of people. people, a lot of Americans. You know, it's like you've got to move on and you've got to try and make things better for the folks, for everyone. So, you know, I'm just saying, I thought he did a great speech. I thought he looked very presidential. I thought he seemed very compassionate and caring and like a very sane human being. You know, everyone just goes on about how he's insane and he's radical. and he has no brains and he's an idiot and I don't know,

can you really watch that speech he gave last night and, you know, or on Tuesday night and say that it was the ramblings of a maniac? I don't know that you could. Be fair, be honest, forget about your hatred or your love for Donald Trump. Look at it objectively. Look at it as if you, You know, you don't have any affiliations to any political parties and just take it at face value. And it pained me to see the Democrats out of protest not applauding some of the things,

like not applauding certain things that are basic, you know, common sense things like border security and safety for our citizens and, you know, you name it. Thankfully, they applauded some of what he was saying, but there were other parts. I'm like, really? How can you not applaud higher wages? How can you not applaud safety for our country, yada, yada, yada. So anyways, I thought I'd comment on that quickly and see what you guys think. If you want to leave me a comment, 323-9, 43330. I'm not asking you to debate the merits of every policy he has.

I'm basically saying, hey, it was, you know, it was, I think it proves that he's not this crazy, not loose canon that the media and other people are trying to make him out to be. I could be wrong. Maybe you still think that. It's your choice to decide. But I thought he looked good. Hopefully he represented the United States well and looked good. And I'll leave it there.

Good on you, mate. Letters. Oh, we get letters. We get your letters every day. Mailman, mailman, mail today. Reach right in and pull one out. Those letters. I love those letters.

Let's find out what you've got to say Oh boy Mailman Mail to date Oh yeah Look at this We got the mail We got the emails

Haven't read any emails in a little while So I thought we better dip into the listener mailbag I'm the only podcast in the world Whose emails are actually Make Paper noises Let's kick it off This is from Kyle C Kyle C

Hey Harlan This is in response to your question of the day I had a neighbor that I think Might have been a werewolf by night Super nice guy An older gentleman But had that Michael J. Fox Teen Wolf hairstyle you were

Talking about on top Bushy eyebrows, thick hair growing out of the nostrils Scragly beard dark hairy knuckles And had super hairy werewolf looking hair on his ears too growing out of every surface of the outer part only person i can recall seeing with thick dark hair growing out of their ears each strand had to at least be an inch long hard to look at and not look away kind of cool looking though if you're a fan of lichens i knew it i knew

there was i did a question of the day the a couple of podcasts back i said has anyone else seen these teeth these people with teen werewolf hair. And sure enough, Kyle C. Let's finish up his letter. That's hilarious, man. Kyle says, also interesting story and behind the scenes, look about the auditions for that sitcom. Good luck.

I hope you get the role. It would be cool if they incorporate all of you into it. That would be quite the super sitcom. Great all-round episode of the Harland Highway. Ah, well, thank you very much. Kyle. I appreciate. Yeah, I did the story about seeing Kramer at the auditions. And I actually got a phone call from one of the pavement pounders. You know what? Let me play it because he had some follow-up thoughts about bumping into Kramer at the audition I was at here in Hollywood.

Roger, roll that phone call, will you? Hey, Harlan. I was listening to your most recent podcast about Kramer, Michael Richards. Yeah, there's a reason why he's not getting big acting parts anymore. A few years ago, he was at a nightclub or doing a stand-up bit, and there were some hecklers out in the crowd, you know, bugging them. So I guess he used some racist remarks or used the N-word or something. They got him into a lot of trouble. And now that's the reason why Hollywood blacklisted him, I guess you could say.

So, yeah, that's the reason why he's not getting any more acting parts here lately. That's probably why you saw him at that place you were at. Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know, in case you didn't hear it in the news. This happened like, I don't know, years ago. Anyway, chicken chalmay. Oh, yeah, I heard about it. I actually worked many nights on the same stage as Michael Richards,

kind of right around when that event happened. He was doing the stand-up scene in Hollywood quite a bit, and I was up on stage working the scene. same rooms and nights with him very often. We'd go back to back on stage. And I think I did a podcast a while back when this thing broke. And I talked about the racist angle, and I talked about the mindset of someone who's an improv actor. And at no point never excused Michael's rhetoric or any of the racial overtones or

or some of the horrible language that was used during his rant, which was at a club, by the way, I work out all the time, The Laugh Factory in Hollywood. But I did offer up a point of view about the, you know, kind of the mindset of the situation and, you know, the racist element and the theatrical element. And it might be an interesting conversation. If you want to go back into the archives and listen,

to it, it was kind of like my interpretation of what might have happened, even though I wasn't there. And again, never, ever, that's why, you know, I don't think people should ever joke. I don't, I've said it on other podcasts. I don't think people should ever issue or utter the N-word, even if you're African-American. I just feel like, let that word lie in the history books and and let's just not use it. It's just so, it's such a powerful and horrible and mean word. And I just don't like it. But thank you for the phone call. Yes, I well aware of the event. But that being said, you know, America and the world and people in general, I think we live in a place where we understand forgiveness. And I think Michael Richard,

himself came out and said, you know, I'm not a racist. And you, you know, you have to decipher if what he did on stage was just an in-the-moment improv, like, you know, thing that happened that wasn't, didn't have a serious meaning behind it, or was he really being malicious and mean and racist? And that's what you have to interpret. And, you know, there's been a lot of people that have said a lot of bad things and done a lot of bad things and asked for forgiveness and have received it. And let's not kid ourselves that Michael Richards is an extremely, extremely talented human being that brought a lot of joy into people's lives. He should have been punished for what he said.

He should have been questioned. He should have apologized. and hopefully he's not a racist in his heart. He's the only one that can know that, not me or you or anyone else, but let's hope he was all a big flub and maybe some forgiveness can set in over time

and Richard can share, Michael Richards can share his gift with the world again. And his gift is to make people laugh and bring them joy. So I hear, you, man. I hear you. It's a sticky, tough situation. And, uh, you know, you flip it around and you look at it from all angles. But, uh, thank you for the phone call. And, uh, let's get back to the letters, man. Come on. This is mail bag, not phone bag. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes.

The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you, you want it to be better, not worse, trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, I will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a Click away. That's 50% off. One item and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland,

H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. What else we got here? Come on, Roger. Let's look at these letters. Here's one from J.M. Harlan, love the new intro montage. You Still Demand. Oh, well, thank you. Yeah, we, I decided to put together a new intro montage for the new year. I like to keep it fresh. You know, I like to keep it popping. And just, you know, keep it, keep it juicy, man. Let's go to another one. Here is a email from Alex. Here it says, subject, Trump supporter podcast. Uh-oh. This isn't going to be good for me. The message, I gave up on your podcast.

podcast because all you do is support Trump and then blindly claim to not be a supporter. Well, first of all, I am a supporter. I've been a supporter of Trump right from the beginning before he even won the primaries. I was a supporter. Listen to all my podcasts. I like the guy. Crucify me. Hey, it's a free country. Um, you want to like who you like? Good. I respect you. I want to like who I like. Good. Hopefully you can respect me. If not, I can't help you. Um, after giving it up, I listened to your podcast and found that you can't help but mention him you at least sideways mention him in every podcast

you have lost your funny just one more podcast with how politics is all I ask you mention stars who talked about him and berate them they only mentioned them once you mention them every day fucking stop wow Alex I'm sorry man but let's do a reality check

okay if you like you know we're coming up 850 podcasts. I'm willing to bet that out of 850 podcasts, there's 15, maybe 20 maximum where I mentioned Donald Trump. And 15 might even be generous. It might be 10 or 12. But if you want to go through and count everyone, I'm pretty positive. It'll come in around the 15 or 20 podcast mark. And I just mentioned him here, but I wasn't mentioning to say you should support him. I was just saying, hey, look at his speech. Does he seem like a rational man or irrational man? And if you can't be honest, then I don't know.

If you think that speech came out of the mouth of a madman, then okay, you're entitled to that. But I thought, stepping back, he gave a great speech. I also find it interesting. I do get a lot of listeners, not a lot, but a certain percentage of listeners who say, you know, they're giving up on my podcast. They can't listen anymore because I mentioned Trump. And, well, first of all, guys, it's my podcast, okay? I'm allowed to talk about what I want to talk about. And second, I have a sneaky suspicion you like it. The people that get mad about it, I think, you know, it stimulates you to the point where you kind of get angry or you, you know, You disagree, and I'm all for disagreeing, but I always try to be respectful of the other side. I'm not trying to tell you how to think or feel. I'm just telling you how I think and feel.

But I do respect your opinion as well. So, you know, I've tried to not mention politics as much, but, you know, it's part of everyday life. Oh, there's probably Alex call me. me get this uh hello hey harland it's alex who Alex oh okay you yeah just reading your email dude yeah you gotta fucking stop bro what you got to stop with the fucking politics because i'm not i'm not listening to the podcast anymore bro okay well you're you're calling me so you must be listening, right? Fuck off, bro.

I'm not fucking, I'm not, no. I'm not even listening to the podcast. I'm not even talking to you right now. Dude, we're talking on the phone right now. Okay, but it's got to stop, man. The fucking Trump stuff, it's got to stop. You do it every, you know, every podcast you're talking about them. You just go on and on about it.

That's why I don't listen anymore, man. Well, I don't do it every podcast. I do it every now and then. Yeah, it's got a fucking stop, bro. Look, it's my podcast. I don't care, bro. I'm the one that listens to it, so that makes it my podcast. It's got to fucking stop, bro.

Trump is a fucking maniac. Fuck Trump. Okay, well, that's not very civilized. Fucking guy, no, every fucking podcast you talk about him, bro. Okay, and that's why I don't listen anymore. I told you you're listening right now. No, I'm not, bro. Okay, then what are you doing?

Who are you talking to? Uh, you know what? Fucking stop. Stop what? Bro, seriously. I mean, you can't fucking keep doing every fucking podcast you're talking about Trump. I mean, you know, used to be funny. Okay, I used to, I signed off.

I can't take it anymore, man. Aye, aye, y'ye, bro. Now you're confusing me. Bro, just fucking stop. Okay, I got your point. Are we cool? I don't know, bro, are we? Let me give you a riddle.

Can I give you a fucking riddle, bro? Okay, if you have to. Okay, what has six sides? It's red and it's white, and it sits at the top of a tall pole. I don't know what. A fucking stop sign, bro. You got a fucking stop. I got it, man.

I got it. I got it. No, I don't think you do got it. Let me give you another riddle. What happens when you're driving and you push your foot down on the left pedal in your car? I don't know you. You stop, bro. so you're going to fucking stop i'll do what i want it's my podcast thank you for calling goodbye

stop bro don't hang up on me bro fucking stop goodbye stop stop bro stop bro geez come on on man wow thank you for your letter Alex who man it ain't it ain't easy trying to make everyone happy over here and sometimes you just can't So I'm, you know, some of you are a little unhappy. I, you know, do I apologize? Do I just, I'm trying to do, oh, forget it. Here we go. What's this one?

Here's an email from Jerry. Oh, here's subject. Love the show. Okay. Hey, some positive feedback. Whew. Let's see what Jerry says. Hey, Harlan, just wanted to let you know, I love your show.

I've been listening since about the 50th episode. and appreciate all you do. I've enjoyed all your work long before your great opinions on Trump, and I only respect you that much more for your ability to see through the bullying and opinion shoving that is rampant in your industry. Well, how about that? A little, all right, the yin and the yank. See, that's what's great about it.

And I respect both sides. That's the key word I want you all to understand, respect. I don't dislike or want you to stop, you know, liking or whatever. Come on. Let's finish this. On a side note, I didn't like the Garden Hose Time Machine story idea at all at first. And then by the end, I found myself skipping forward to listen to the next segment of the story just before listening to the rest of the podcast.

Really enjoyed it after I gave it a chance and thanks so much for everything you do. regards Jordan well thank you Jordan oh wonderful email that that makes me lifts my spirits after after being told to fucking stop by Alex so much and Alex I'm just having fun with you bro I love your email I love I love the good and the bad as long as we do this with respect I'm fine with all of it I actually actually like hearing your point of view when it's not the same as mine it makes it interesting and that's what I said I have a sneaky feeling. You might like mine too, even though it infuriates you. But going back to Jerry's email, thank you. The Garden Hose Time Machine was a kind of a short story that I wrote, inspired by you guys, because you reacted so strongly to my podcast segment about the Garden Hose.

And so if you would like to get the Garden Hose time machine in its entirety, it is available on my website. How about that at Harlem Williams.com. If you go into the books segment, the link, the books link, you can download the whole story uninterrupted for $4. $4. It's like a 70-page, 75-page story, and I read it. read the whole thing and do the production work on it and uh i really hope you enjoy it i hope some

of you uh download my short story and i'm gonna i'm gonna start uh putting some more up there very soon so uh jerry thank you so much for the uh the wonderful letter i truly appreciate it i'm glad you uh came around and liked the uh like the um the garden o's time machine story let's do another letter Eric wait is the gentleman that wrote in subject sayings I hate Eric says I wanted to know if you had any interesting sayings that you hate I hate when someone says why they like a person it was because they saw themselves in that person isn't that just the definition of selfishness it was supposed to come off as the altruistic statement but this notion exists in many Disney movies.

Iron Will, for example, expresses this sentiment wondering if you had anything to add. Yes, absolutely, man. There are sayings that I hate, and a lot of them are used in movies these days. Their common catchphrases like, that's got to hurt and a little help here. And, you know, the ones that they become so common,

that now like comedy writers instead of writing their own original lines, they'll drop those in because they know they're palatable, they know they're familiar, they know they get a chuckle. But it's really lazy writing, and they're lazy expression.

So I don't like those sayings. What else don't I like? Are there any other sayings? I had a guy the other day, you've heard the one where they go, right? Right? Oh, right? So I was at the Wendy's drive-through the other day. It was just real friendly guy who worked there. I wish I had recorded him. But he was, it was a very effeminate guy. I don't know if he was gay or straight, but very effeminate. Let's put it there. I could probably guess that he was gay. He kind of had that whole gay vibe. But let's not label people. Maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was just effeminate, which is fine as well. And I went in for my, uh, my Wendy's drive-through.

I think it was the night before the Oscars, and the Wendy's is right in Hollywood here. And as I was picking up my food at the window, the guy was like, oh, how about, you ready for all this Oscar stuff, right? I was like, what? No, what? And he goes, the Oscars aren't until tomorrow,

and he goes, no, I mean, all the construction and the traffic stuff, right? And it wasn't, he wasn't just saying the right. He wasn't just going, right? He was dragging it out, so it was really long. I was like, oh, the Oscars, right? It made me laugh, but it also made my skin crawl. It drove me nuts.

So, yeah, there's always things out there that drive us all nuts. And, you know, what are you going to do? It's part of being, some of them are great and some of them are horrible. So, you know, what are you going to do? They kind of add to the spice of life, don't they? Let's see. I think we have time for one more letter here. Why don't we do one more letter?

Here we go. Here we go. This is from Casey. Casey writes, you are amazing. Look at this. I went from, what was it? Fucking stop to you are amazing. This is good.

Hey, friend, I saw you live in Portland at the Helium Comedy Club, and I have been to dozens of comedy shows, and you are by far my favorite comedian. Wow, this is nice. I've never laughed so hard in my life. My fiancé also loves you, and you are both of our favorite comedian. Take it easy, pal. Come back to Portland soon. We're thinking about coming up to see you in Washington. If you're ever down in Oregon again, we should smoke a joint together.

When I was growing up, half-baked, was one of my favorite movies, and I felt so bad for you, even though it wasn't a real movie, and you weren't really in jail. Ha, ha, ha. Anyways, talk to you later, man. Well, hey, Casey, thank you, brother. That's a great email. I'm glad you enjoyed my stand-up comedy.

I have a lot of fun doing it. I'm getting ready to shoot a new special that is going to be unlike any stand-up comedy special you have ever seen. Hopefully that will show up in the fall. Very exciting. Putting the pieces together for that right now. It really is going to be different. Trust me. I'm not going to give it away right now,

but it really is going to be like something nobody's ever done before. Very excited about it. And yeah, for those of you that have never seen me do stand-up comedy, that's one thing I can be a little cocky about, that I can say with pride, I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy my show. I've been doing stand-up comedy for 30 years, and a lot of you probably haven't been, but I think you'd really enjoy it.

I could be wrong, but I think you'd really enjoy it. So I encourage you to come out and see me do my stand-up comedy. Thank you, Casey, for your kind words. And I always try to do a great show, no matter if there's three people in the crowd or 40,000. I like to kick some ass, baby. And if you want to see me tonight, I'll be in Phoenix, Arizona at Stand Up Live, baby, March 2nd through the 4th. So Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

I'm going to be doing some great shows at the club at Stand Up Live. Please come out, get your tickets at Harlow Williams.com, or you can go to their website and get tickets. It's going to be beautiful. What else? Erie, Pennsylvania. I'll be there April 30th to. or sorry, March 30th to April 1st, Erie, Pennsylvania at Junior's Comedy Club out there.

And then I'll be at the Funny Bone in Virginia Beach, April 7th, 8th, and 9th. I mean, just some great shows coming up. I'll be in Connecticut at the big casino at comics with an X comics. Out in Connecticut at the big Indian casino. That's April 20th to the 22nd. all these dates available on my website, harlomwilliams.com. Go there, check it out. Go to the book page, and if you feel like downloading my audio book, the Garden Host Time Machine for $4, it's there. I think you'll enjoy it. I enjoyed doing it.

And also check out our store. We have a great store there where you can buy cool stuff. on top of that please phone me you can you can write me at harlowe williams.com there's a contact link there and i might read your letter on the mailbag how about that um and uh also you can call me uh at 739 2 323 739 739 43330 that's 323 739 43330 and you can tell me to fucking stop if you want and I will take it. I will take it and I will bear it. I will put up with you as much as you will put up with me. How about that?

I will be the greatest president that God ever created. Whoops, I'm sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean to slip that in. That was an accident. And what else? What else can I tell you? I think that's it. Raj, I think close up the mailbag, and then we'll say,

goodbyes and uh thank you everybody for writing uh i love reading your emails close it up roge another letter from our last birthday ha ha so there you go everybody hope we see in phoenix tonight and this weekend at stand-up live thank you for uh for being part of the podcast no matter what you believe think or subscribe to, you're always welcome here, regardless, faith, religion, denomination, political affiliation. I love all of you. I take in all comers, and I'm grateful that you're here, even if you get angry at me sometimes, or love me sometimes. That's what it's all about. That's it, guys. Thank you so much. Until next time, Chicken, Chowman. Baby?

That's got to fucking stop, bro.