The Harland Highway - 853 - TOILET SEAT madness. Drug themed gyms. Is harland part of a science project?

Episode Date: March 20, 2017

Toilet seat INSANITY. Carl Flavors calls in to discuss drug gyms. North Korean news. Is Harland part of a mad science project? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, hey, hey, everybody. How are you? It's Harland Williams. You are on the Harland Highway podcast. I am your host. I don't know why I'm talking so fast. I'm going to slow down right about now. There we go. Hey, let's mellow into this. Let's not be hyper. Let's just chill out. Let's enjoy the podcast, the comedy, the stories. And we got a lot going on today, man. Oh, my God. We have a crazy news story about a gym that, uh, is involved with drugs, and it's insane. And we have a guy calling in. Carl Flavors is calling in at the end of the show to make an assessment of said gym where drugs are allowed. So Carl Flavors at the end of the show. We also have a little talk about toilet seats. Yes, there's a myth about toilet seats

that we are going to debunk today, which should be interesting, creepy. and dirty and interesting. Also, we got a phone call from one of the pavement pounders that accused me of being some kind of scientific oddity. And it's not true. It's not true at all. And we are going to debunk that one as well.

So all that stuff. And, of course, we'll check in with the North Korean news. So here we go. This is the Harland Highway. Sit down, strap in, and tighten your diaper. Come here, baby. You're about to go down the Harlan Highway. No!

I didn't bargain for this. Oh, yes, you did. Chick-chic-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chall-main, baby. And the creature from all the space. Please don't stop. I got to feed an ugly face. Magnificent performance. This is the Harlan Highway.

I hate you. Well, that's the way it goes. What do you say? We get down to business. Okay, you've all done it. We've all done it. You've all used the public toilet, right? You've all been out at the airport, or you've been at the restaurant or the bar or the gas station, which those are very questionable. Or even worse, if you've been camping, the old outhouse. And you ask yourself, you know, how sanitary is it? How sanitary is it even? How sanitary is the old brick shithouse even?

Well, a lot of people, I guess, because they have them in a lot of public restrooms, use the old toilet seat covers. They're like these little dispensers, and you pull out a little slab of paper, and it's like a toilet seat cover and you put it down or sometimes this has happened to me, I'll walk into a stall and there'll be like toilet paper all over the seat. It's almost like some kind of shit eagle flew in and made a nest. It's all neatly placed and layered around.

Someone took strips of toilet paper and put it down on the toilet seats in an oval so that their precious buttocks, their bare skin from their meaty ass cheeks, wouldn't touch the greasy, dirty, disease-riddled toilet seat. So like an eagle or an osprey making a nest in a tree, these shit eagles go into the crapper and meticulously place toilet paper around on the oval,

toilet seat, like they were prepping a nest getting ready to lay an egg, although it ain't an egg they're about to lay, believe me. So there are different methods for people to, you know, pad the toilet seat, cover the toilet seat to protect themselves, and then, of course, I stumble on a newspaper article that says, what happens when you don't use a toilet seat cover? And I thought this is important stuff we better talk about. So let's get into this story. It says there's a certain comfort in the toilet seat cover,

the tissue thin layer of grace between your bare behind and a piece of cold, dirty plastic. But what happens if you forego the cover, boldly plopping down on a surface crawling with who knows what? The answer probably nothing, according to public health experts. Seat covers do not stop germs, they said, and you're not likely to catch an infection from a toilet anyways. Yeah, how many of you, you keep hearing that,

how many of you ever believed you could catch an infection from a toilet seat? I mean, I think maybe if some guy had weeping, open, sore herpes, and decided to, you know, lay down on his pelvis and rub the juice all over the bare toilet seat? What kind of degenerate would do that? Maybe then you could get, I don't even know of then. So anyways, the story goes on to say toilet seat covers are absorbent and bacteria and viruses are tiny,

able to pass through the relatively large holes in the covers. paper. This is from a public research researcher at the University of Arizona. That means they don't stop the spread of germs, she said, but the risk of germ transmission from your skin touching a toilet seat is unlikely in the first place. See, that's what I was just saying. It says germs will more likely spread after you flush when bits of fecal matter blast into the air in aerosol form. A phenomenon known as the toilet plume. Oh, my

God. I think what she, in layman's terms, a turd cloud. A shit fog. A crap thunder. I don't know. God. It says, Reynolds says

from here, bits of fecal matter settle on surfaces, contaminate and then get spread to the eyes, nose, or mouth. Don't you just hate those words, fecal matter? Just, ugh. Another professor says he poo-poohed seat covers,

which he found research has refuted notions that toilet seats spread sexually transmitted infections or gastrointestinal infections. He says that's because toilet seats are not a vehicle for the transmission of any infectious agents. You won't catch anything, he says. And here it goes to my turd nesters. And covering the seat with toilet paper,

that may even make things worse. Placing pieces of toilet paper around the seat as an impromptu cover only increases the surface area for germs to multiply. Now, this is a guy with the British Toilet Association. I say I didn't know there was a British Toilet Association. Excuse me, sir, what do you do? Well, I'm with the British Toilet Association. How are your turds coming out these days?

Do you mind if I come in and watch you flush one of your loafs? Don't be disturbed. I'm with the British Toilet Association. I'd like to see how your log spins around when you flush it. Do you mind? Good Lord. He goes on to say that the gentleman Raymond Malton, a director with the British Toilet Association,

says it makes it considerably less hygienic. He said, and toilet plumes may have blasted fecal matter onto the toilet paper anyways. ugh blasted the seat covers can keep things cleaner however said reynolds they make people more likely to sit on toilets rather than hover over them reducing general splatter that makes a net benefit she said good this is just creepy the biggest risk in public restrooms remains the spread of fecal matter to the mouth

What the hell? And she said that starts with the hands. Just to remember to wash your hands, lathering with soap and scrubbing for 20 seconds before rinsing. Then you're truly covered. Good Lord. What's with all this spraying and flying and exploding of the fecal matter? I mean, maybe they use.

forget about toilet seat covers. Why don't they offer goalie masks? You ever seen these guys in the NHL in the net? Sounds like all this fecal matter is exploding up into the air and making fecal clouds and getting in eyes and mouths. You know, we need something to protect us from the toilet plume. I say the toilet plume. better put on your goalie mask old boy i i wouldn't want that shit storm coming out of stall number

three to fly right into your face old boy and that's coming from a toilet expert you know everyone goes in and takes a dump and looks like freddie kruger it's like friday the 13th and and jason Jason Vorhees. Jason Vorhees taking a power dump in stall number five. He doesn't grunt. He just goes, choo, choo, chach, chad, chad, chit, chit, chit. Good Lord.

So there you go. For those of you germaphobes, who are so paranoid about putting your keister on the toilet seat, it looks like you better be more concerned with fleshing. Maybe this sets a bad new precedent. Maybe this scares people from flushing. And instead, things just pile up. Ew.

So there you go, Raj. Flush me out of this story. Plume me out of this story. I'm getting a little creeped out. I sailed, boy. Would you like to come and watch me do a dump later today? I'd love to get your import. No, I'm good.

Roger, flush me out. Ah, my eyes! My eyes! Oh, my God! Ah, my eyes! Hello? Hello? Hey, Harlan. The question of the day was,

when was the last time you left the envelope? I take my finger and wet my finger and rub it across the side of the envelope so it's actually like. Instead of using my tongue and wet my finger because, You know, they can clone you once they get your DNA from looking down below. They can clone you. There'll be multiple Harlins.

Well, maybe that's what they already did. That's how you can show up. There's all these stand-up shows. Your employee at Army Clones. Harlan clones. That's what it is. Okay, there you go. Very good call.

Very good call. The question of the day on the... last podcast was when was the last time you licked an envelope? And so this pavement pounder called in and said that he doesn't lick the envelopes because they can capture your DNA. So what he does instead to avoid getting his DNA on the envelope is he licks his finger and rubs his saliva on the envelope via his finger. I hate to break it to you, pal.

but the saliva that comes from your mouth and the saliva that's on your finger is the same damn saliva filled with your DNA so you're boned brosuf now if you said you stuck your finger under the tap and ran tap water over the envelope

you're good but if you're doing it on your finger buddy you're busted we got your DNA and know as much as you like to think I'm cloned because I am a busy guy. I do a million things at once.

I do my stand-up stuff. I do my podcast stuff. I do my other stuff. And there's only one of me because... Hold on. Hold on. Hello? Oh, hey, man.

What are you doing here? Well, what do you mean? What am I doing here? It's my podcast. Yeah, but you know, today's... What day is today? Today's Monday. Okay.

You're here Tuesdays, aren't you? No, I'm Monday. Are you Tuesday, Harland? Yeah, I'm. Oh, hold on. There's someone else. Hello. Oh, hey, man. It's me, Harland. Hey, Harland. Wait, what are you doing here? It's Wednesday. I'm Tuesday. I'm Monday. What do you? Wait, hold on. Hi, guys. Hey, how you doing? Hi. Hey, buddy. How are you? Wait, I'm, today's Thursday, right? No. Today's Monday, dude. Monday. Damn it. You know, I'm here on the wrong day, the daylight savings time thing.

Yeah. Daylight savings time. listen to you guys I don't want anyone to know that there's more than one of us so hold on hello come in hey what the hell what are you guys doing here well we were going to ask the same thing of you Friday Thursday Wednesday Monday to Tuesday what are you doing here uh what are you doing here Friday it's Monday yeah come on man okay this is getting crazy people are gonna know we're nobody's gonna know we're clones all right the microphone is off we're good hang on oh my God, don't tell me. Hey, what's up Saturday? It's Saturday, Harland, everyone. Hey, what's up? How you doing? Hey, man. Hey, what's up Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Thursday, Friday? Got a good weekend planned?

I know I do. Guys, guys, guys, guys. Everybody just cool out, man. We got to get this organized. Now, I'm Monday. The rest of you guys go home. You're not in until tomorrow and later in the week. True. That's right. Anyone want to go grab a beer? Hold on. Yeah, but here he is Sunday. Sunday. Hey, what's up, bro? What's up Sunday, Harlan? Sunday and a house. Hey, what's up, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. All right, you guys, this is getting crazy. If anyone ever found out we were clones. No, come on. No one's going to find out.

No way. Come on. Everyone shut up. Shut up, shut up. Hold on. What's going on? What's going on? What's the panic? Guys, shut up. Holy shit, I left the microphone on. I let, oh my God. Turn it off. Turn it off. Shut it off. Oh, my God, shut it off. Oh, my God. Shut it off. You have a microphone on.

Shut it off. We're on. We interrupt this show. We interrupt this show for an important. We interrupt this show for an important North Korean news update. Namsho-San-Guade-Gun-Wonged U.S. U.S.S.

U.S.P.O.R.N.S. U.S.S.P.O.S.P.R.P.S. to-Q.P.S.K.P.E.S.K.N.E.K., U.S.K., U.S.T.K., U.S.K., U.S.S. U.S.S. Mong-in-uny-heed-heed-bo-do-in-cawondy, civil, Sehye five-combe close-hung-o-E-Nand-O-Eldehsdhsoto, although the human-single-shawned a grander-conneux-connecuitment,

and it-downe-downe being done-downe We will keep you updated on this news story as the news breaks. Whoa, okay, look, it looks like we had a little bit of a tech glitch there. Roger, were you hearing an echo?

Just right after we did the letters bit, it was really weird. I think you might have patched the wiring wrong because my microphone, it sounded like I was talking to myself type of thing. It was really weird. It was like an echo effect where I would talk and then you could hear my voice like reverbing and stuff. So it sounded like there was more of us.

Anyways, let's move on that. I didn't really get the North Korean story. I couldn't really pick up what was going on, but I think we have a crazy news story of our own we want to read, right, Raj? Okay, sync it up and hit the music for the crazy news story. The Harland Highway. Crazy news story. That's weird.

Wow. That's strange stuff. I make you crazy. Well, is this crazy or is this not crazy? I guess it was just a matter of time now that everything's becoming, you know, legal weed. But here's the headline. World's first marijuana gym is in brackets. Where else?

California. Yeah, that's where I live, man. So let's get into this story. Of course, it's in San Francisco. Where else would it be? A San Francisco gym slated to open this fall will encourage clients to use cannabis as part of their fitness work.

workout. Oh, what have we become, folks? What kind of world, society have we become? The place called Power Plant Fitness will have the option to bring their own, the clients will have the option to bring their own cannabis or order edibles. The gym's preferred form of cannabis while they're at the gym. A delivery service will bring desired edibles to the gym within 15 minutes after clients place orders. The owner says adult use recreational marijuana is legal in California, but only dispensaries can sell it. Using marijuana in public is banned.

The gym will have a designated space for those inhaling marijuana. The gym which advertises itself as the world's first cannabis gym touts using the drug for pain, focus, and meditation. I mean, are you like me? Are you just picturing a bunch of stoners just wandering around? Okay, let's see. Wow, I really want to lift those weights, but I think I'd rather just stare out this window, really,

because, you know, those weights, like, they look heavy, bro. But out those clouds, like, out the window, they look really light and fluffy, bro. And also, is there a snack bar around because I came here to lose weight, but I'm fucking hungry now, man. I just want to fucking eat. Like, come on, man. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes.

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Chili Dog, not included. The Naked Gun. Tickets on sale now. August 1st. It says the owner was already hosting Power Plant Boot Camps, wants people to know this isn't going to. going to be a stoner gem? Oh, of course not. How could it be a stoner gem if people are stoned? That's like saying a Pilates gym isn't for people who want to do Pilates. No, no. Well, cannabis uses welcome. The focus is on fitness, he said.

Uh, dude, um, I'm going to start my curls over again because I can't remember if I started them yet and I can't remember how many sets I did so I'm just going to do another 20 for the people that it affects the right way cannabis can make working out fun the owner said if you make it more fun people are going to do it more does this guy ever smoked weed I don't think getting stoned and lifting weights go hand in hand why doesn't he have a gym with couches yo bro um i just finished doing the reclining chair for like half an hour and now i'm going to wander over and um do the couch machine as soon as it opens up and uh hopefully no one's on the bed machine because i definitely you don't want to get some sets in on the bed jeez the owner says uh personally

helps him control his weight and focus during workouts. But he said this isn't the case for everyone. When clients join the gym, he says, they will complete a cannabis performant assessment. That means a staff will assess clients during a sober workout and a workout after using cannabis. All right. How many people are going to have like dumbbells and barbells dropped on their feet? Like, oh, sorry, dude. I wasn't really focusing.

Sorry, I dropped that 90-pound dumbbell on your foot. Is it broken, bro? Maybe I could rub it for you or eat it or something. The owner, who also founded the 420 games, said he anticipates at least half of the clans won't be a good fit for cannabis-influenced workouts. Quote, this isn't something where we are telling someone to do this, he said. It's an option to consider.

a doctor from a hospital nearby says the option is dangerous quote i worry that the philosophy of the country is going towards health happiness smoke weed you are glorifying weed and saying it is the agent that's going to cure everything i don't think that's going to be the case see that's what i was saying at the beginning he said that message can especially be damaging to children and young adults. Ingesting compounds at a younger age, 19 and 20-year-old brains are still forming, he said. I worry they could be exposed to something that could be potentially negative to them. Well, there you go, man.

A cannabis gym. Oh, Harlan. It's Roger. Yeah, there's someone on the hotline. Oh, okay. Rod, cool. Is it someone calling about this story? Okay.

Who is it? Carl Flavors? Oh, that guy. Well, he'd probably be right for this. All right, put him through. We got a gentleman calling about the cannabis gym, Carl Flavors, and hook him in, Raj. Hello, are you there, sir?

Oh, fucking right, bro. It's the Flavors. Carl? That's right, bro. It's Carl Flavors, bro. I've been listening to your show about the world's first fucking marijuana gym broseth okay um well what do you think man you're a california guy is this is this a place you'd go to oh fucking right bro i mean you know working out is like you know who the fuck wants to

work out right process so if i could like get my weed on and huff my smoke and like do some tasty curls and you know do some bench presses and whatnot i mean why not bro Yeah, but is it safe? I mean, you're lifting heavy weight. You're lifting barbells and dumbed bells. You're curling like 100, 200 pounds at a time. Is that even a safe environment to be stoned? Bro, come on, man.

Like if the Flaves can drive stoned, if I can, like, have sex stoned, if I can, like, be at work stoned, bro, I think I could manage to lift a few libyes when I'm high on some good old crank in California gold, Brocefiosch. Okay, but you drive stoned? Do you have sex stoned? I do just about anything, fucking stone, brosif. I mean, you know, you only live once, pro. I mean, you got to feel good. So, you know, if I can get my, you know, my workout in and I'm like fucking slamming. some weights, and I'm lifting some libyes, and I'm pounding some kilograms, bro, surf, and, you know, the Flaves is going to flave it out with the Flabe Machine.

Whatever that means, dude, but I don't know. I just, you know, you're working on your mental health and your physical health at the same time, and I don't know if being stoned is actually good for your mental health. Oh, bro. I mean, you know, you got to exercise your body, right? So you also got to exercise your brain. And when you're just, like, wandering around, you know, in your own fucking haze and your own stink and whatever, like, you know, it's Boresville, bro. Your brain's not really doing much, right?

Well, I'm not sure where you're going with this, Carl. Well, what I'm saying, bro, it's like when you're fucking high as a fucking kite, when you're floating like a fucking. when you're floating like a fucking uh you know paint wagon covered with stucco bro i mean your brain is working you're imagining things bro so if you're rip curling in your own mind bra well okay i guess your brain's expanding when you're high so then isn't that a form of like mental workout bro so i think i think it goes hand and ham bro sir and i want to you know i want to go to like uh yeah i'm not maybe i hope someone open like a crack jim what a crack jim well you know if we're gonna have like marijuana jim's

bro why don't we have like a crackhead gym bro like you know that way i could smoke a bowl of crack and just be winging out and i'll tell you what bro i mean i don't know if you've ever smoked crack or not but the flavors has and that stuff makes you fucking strong as a horse bro. I mean, I mean, I am, I'm like double the strength like a fucking chimpanzee, man. When I'm high on a bowl, a nice bowl. All right, dude. That sounds really wrong. Okay, at first, I didn't like the idea of the marijuana, Jim. You're proposing a crackhead, Jim?

Bro, I'm telling you, when you smoke a strong bowl of crack, right, in an alley behind a Denny's or an applebee's or whatever, bro. Have you ever fucking wrestled with a chimpanzee, bro? No, I haven't wrestled with a chimpanzee. Those fuckers are strong, bro. When you're high on crack, you're like, you know, seven times the strength of a chimp, bro, like a hairy chimp, and you can just fucking lift weights and crank the libyes up and down, bro. That sounds ridiculous. Well, I'll go one step further, bro, Saffios.

All right, maybe I'll open a hair. A heroin gym. A heroin, Jim. Yeah, you know, everyone's cranked up on opioids and fucking LST and fucking, you know, everyone's just rocking and will play like Jimmy Hendrix and people can wear like moon slippers and, you know, everyone can do it naked. Oh my God. You know, maybe I'll just open like a sex gym, bro. Would you like to come to a sex gym bra? No, I don't want to go to a sex gym.

I mean, imagine this bra. Imagine this bra, right? When you walk in, we're like, you pop a couple of viags. What are viags? Uh, hello, Viagra, bro, sir. Okay, you pop some Viagras. And, like, you don't even have to use your hands to work out. What does that mean? Well, you know, I mean, I don't know if you've ever taken a Viag, brosoph, but, uh, you know, your erection could pretty much smash a fucking door down, bro.

All right, clean it up. What are you suggesting? Well, what I'm suggesting, bro, is you never have to put your hands on the way. It's like you can put the dumbbells, you can put the barbells on your erection and just lift them up and down, man. I mean, you know, talk about a hands-free workout environment, bro. That's disgusting. You can, like, lay on the Nautilus machine and push the fucking handles up and down with your knob. All right, God.

Have you ever had sex on an abdominal machine, bro? No, Carl, I haven't had sex on an abdominal machine. How about, like, doggy style on a bench press, bro? I mean... No, I haven't had sex on a bench press machine. How about your guattruttle or laps? You know, that thing. If you could do a 69er on that...

No, I'm not... I don't want to have sex in a gym. I don't want to do a... heroin in a gym. I don't want to do crack in a gym. I don't want to do pot in a gym, all right? I just want to go in and work out. Well, bro, like Barsville, like, what, you know, what year are you in like 1974, bro? Well, no, I'm just trying to stay focused and be healthy. Wow. You should go to a sleep gym, bro. Just like take your fucking sleeping bag. You know, some people

take like their yoga match to the gym, bro. You should take like your Walmart sleeping bag, bro, so if I just like fucking go to sleep because you sound like you're fucking boring, bro. I'm not boring. There's nothing boring about just working out normally. What the hell are you doing? Um, I'm falling asleep, bro, because you're fucking boring, bro. I'm not boring I'm telling you man You smoke a ball of really good crack You'll be as strong as a fucking

Mountain Gorilla bro I mean you could throw Diane Fossey In a fucking tree house bro All right you know what You're clearly Are you stoned right now What I said are you high right now Carl

Uh well you know Define high bro Did you do something before you called me? Well, okay. I smoked a little weed, bro, but you know, that's no secret. Okay, well...

And, you know, I might have, you know, followed it up with a little bit of crack, you know, just like, like, you know, you put gravy on your potatoes. I like to follow up my weed with a little bit of crack. So you're high on crack and

weed right now. And heroin, bro. And I have a erection right now, and guess what's on my erection? A 60-pound dumbbell. I'm balancing it right on the end of my knob. All right, hang up. God. I should have known that fucking guy.

Aye, aye, aye. All right. Well, are we at the end? I think we're at the end here, Roger. Thank God. Let's bail out of here, Carl Flavors. Jeez, must be nice to be that stoned. All right, let's do a few announcements here. This is exciting. You know, last week I got to announce my new music album. And this week, I'm hoping, on Thursday, okay,

I've been teasing you guys with this for years. This has been in the making and the working for almost six years now. Oh, my God. But they tell me, the people at Walt Disney tell me, that my animated TV show Puppy Dog Pals that I created and have been working on for six years at Disney, they're telling me, and I hope it's accurate, that on Thursday they're going to announce the air date,

they're going to release some footage, they're going to start showing the world little snippets of my show Puppie Dog Pals. my show did the Disney show does a show I created for them and I've been working on with the writing and the helping with the designing and and just overseeing the whole show with them and the crew over there and it's been amazing the show looks unbelievable it looks it looks better than I even thought okay um but just in case Thursday is an accurate they're telling me this Thursday coming up March 23rd They're going to, it's actually, it's called Puppy Day in America.

Did you know that? I didn't know that. Disney told me that it's technically known as Puppy Day on March 23rd. So what better day to announce. Now, when I say announce my show, they're going to announce the show and they're going to announce the release date. And I don't have that yet. But I think it's coming up pretty soon after they announced the actual show. So they'll be announcing the release date.

We'll tell you on Thursday when it's going to be on finally. This show is going on TV when it launches very soon, 150 countries all over the world. Are you kidding me? And I'm going to tell you more and more about it on Thursday. But just very, very excited about it. I'm proud of the show. Oh, my God, it's looking so good. I can't wait for you guys to see.

see it. So that'll be Thursday. I'll talk more about puppy dog pals. Also stand-up-wise, yes, coming up in Erie, Pennsylvania, April 30th to, sorry, March 30th to April 1st. I always get those two mixed up. March 30th to April 1st, I'll be in Erie, Pennsylvania at Junior's Last Laugh. Great comedy club over there. And then April 7 through 9, I'll be in Virginia Beach at the Funny Bone in Virginia Beach. So hopefully you can come out to those. And also April 20th through the 22nd, I'll be in Connecticut at the Indian casino out there at comics, C-O-M-I-X with an X on the end, comics. Great club as well.

So go to Harlan Williams.com and get your tickets. the stand-up comedy link also you can write me if you want to write me at harlem williams.com there's a contact link there and there's a phone number if you want to leave a message and accuse me of being a clone

which I'm not 323-739 43330 3-2-739 43-30 the number is at the website too in case you forget 3-2-7-3-9-43-30 Also, don't forget to get our app.

We have a wonderful app for your phone. Just go to your app store, type in the Harland Highway, and boom, you're in. And if you want to become a premium member and have access to every episode we've ever done, 850 freaking episodes, a lot of great entertainment for $20. That gets you the whole back catalog right down to episode one. So I certainly hope you guys jump on board with that. For those of you that have already joined, thank you for being premium members. From time to time I put up bonus material, stand-up comedy stuff, special events, interviews, blah, blah, blah.

And I appreciate you joining up for our premium membership, everybody. What else can I tell you? Don't forget our, like I said, our music album, me and my cousin Kevin, The Cousins. Our album is now in iTunes. If you want to check it out, we've been getting some really good reviews. Next show, I'm going to read some reviews

and give you some feedback on the album. We've got some really good reviews that have been coming in. So you can go to the cousins band.com and check out our website. Or if you want to order the album Rattlesnake Love on iTunes. Just go to iTunes. in the Cousins Rattlesnake Love and you can get the whole album or you can download songs if you want individually. It's up to you. So we're excited to see how you guys feel about me and my cousin Kevin's music. And that's it for now. Like I said next week, we'll talk about that

some more and my new animated TV show from Disney. So very cool. Thank you for being here, everybody hope you had a great time please tell your friends about the harland highway will you do that favor for me just really want to try and get more and more people laughing in the world you know so uh you know if you can spread the word and for those of you over in in europe and in other parts of the world please phone i'd love to hear from you guys in other parts of the world the uk Germany, China, Mongolia, Russia, Iran, wherever you may be, Australia, New Zealand, Japan. Just give us a call, man. You know, the listeners would love to hear you, hear your voices, hear your accents, hear what's on your mind.

Don't forget that phone number. It's 323739, 43330. It rings about six times before it picks up, but it'll get there. It's an old school answering system, but it'll get there. So be patient, leave a message, and thanks for being here, everyone. I hope you had a good time. And until next time, everybody, chicken chameen, baby. And guess what's on my erection?

A 60-pound dumbbell. I'm balancing it right on the end of my knob. Thank you.