The Harland Highway - #86 WILL SASSO RETURNS #2

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Will learns about TENDER FRIENDERS and how to control his toxic man rage!! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Or my favorite Instagram, where I just scroll and scroll and scroll. Do you do it a lot? I think I'm probably addicted. No, I can stop any time. But I do look at Instagram way too much. You do? I think so. Like how many hours a day?

And I'm talking hours. Hours? Honestly. 18 hours, probably. You're right at the edge of addiction. Okay. All right. So I'm not that bad.

Watch it. Just be careful. You're right at the edge guy. You're riding down the Harland Highway. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. There's no artificial intelligence here. There's barely any intelligence. Not even any organic intelligence.

I mean, you know? How about dumb eye? Yeah, instead of AI. Yeah. A. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's the only AI we had was A-Had on.

no fuck you and then throw a fucking garbage can on him and kick him back up his fucking stoop get back inside a i a oh yeah i don't know hey i don't know that could be the a i for dumb people yeah hey i don't know hey i don't know yeah then and you ask it questions and you have it do shit hey i don't know can you please make a beautiful picture of a starry night with a house in the foreground hey i don't know how to do that hey i don't I don't know. Fuck you. What am I?

Yeah, what am I? Yeah, what am I, spool? Why don't I make you a nice lasagna instead, eh? You always asking me to make pictures for you. I can do other things. Is AI, I don't know Italian? Sounds like he is. Nah, he's one, he's Italian.

He thinks, you know, he's AI Italian. He's probably a Greek guy. He's a Greek Italian. Yeah, he's like, you know. He's Greek Alian. He gets his 23 and me back. Wow. Yeah.

30% British. Look, shit has an identity crisis. Got a potty mouth too, apparently. Fuck yeah. AI, don't give a fuck about not. Wow. Yeah, I fucking say what I want. Hey, I say what I want.

You don't like it? Find another AI, I don't know. Wow. Yeah. AI can be anything now. Yep. Anything you want. Guy.

Well, hey, guy, AI, guy. Hey, I, I, I. Let's hit the theme music. We got the Holland Highway My podcast, gentlemen. You're missing the, you didn't hit the D or that age. I know, but I like to do it in Cajun. I have, most of my listeners are Cajun.

Okay, you have a very regionalized audience. Yeah, almost. I'd say I have about a 90% Cajun audience. So when I go to Hala, Hawa Parka. You have some room here to put with extra onion or something really caging it up. Or how about, I guarantee. Right? I like that.

With crawfish Yeah As the tea Agaron Dash tea It's two crawfish Making a tea And you're like

I don't want to eat It this fucking stupid place Well there's that potty mouth Again guy Hey I don't care about Cajun food I make Italian food Wow

You're 80% What you You're English Yeah I'm British Dude you know My parents are from Mengland

Wow Mengland Yeah There's Mengland. It's over there in the fucking Mengland. Dude, it's like you're putting the gumbo on the jumbo over there, too. Yeah, I'm putting the gumbo on the jumbo. You know what I love about all this, though?

Because this was one of the questions I want to ask you, right? By the way, Will Sasseau, everyone, comedian, model, painter, actor. I think you invented the rice bomb, whatever that is. The rice ball. The rice ball. Yeah, not the rice. bomb. Okay. What doesn't this kid do? The Oruccini. Hey, the Oruccini. Oh, fried a rice. Walk me tender in the night. Yeah. But because all this stuff, think about it, it's pretty like,

you know, like machismo, right? Yeah, you don't want, I think Italians, right? And I'm, I'm Italian by heritage, actually. Whoa. Saso is Italian, and my folks are from Italy. Wow. I think somewhere, if I may, I don't know. I don't know where this came from. But I think this got, you know, sort of shaved down to, let's just do this. Because you can't hurt anyone like this. Unless you're a praying mantis. Unless you're a praying.

Yeah. You can eat their face. Yeah, yeah, real quick. Yeah. But where I was going with it is it's like, it's like there's this term that you hear now. And I wanted to address it with you because we're kind of big Canadian boys. Yeah. We played hockey.

Well, I don't. Yeah, I played some football. some hockey. Right. So this term toxic masculinity. Let's get into it. Talk to me about this, man. What the F is it? Oh, man, you know, I don't, what? First of all, you're labeling us toxic? Yeah. Well, how am I supposed to, uh, defend myself if I'm already, uh, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's the problem nowadays. People have a problem. With being toxic. Yeah. Like if someone comes at you in a bar fight. Yeah.

What do you want to be like a softy masculinity? No, you don't want that. You want to be able to go, oh, you want to fight? Yeah. And then, you know, spit like a green toxic waste. Oh, like a greener. Yeah. Of course, from Canada, our greeners are not very toxic.

Yeah. We all eat properly. Yeah. We get the good oxygen and water. There's nothing toxic about it. Yeah. that COVID skipped Canada. That was cool.

Yeah, it just jumped right over. It went right up to Alaska. Yep. Yeah. But here's the thing. You never hear the term toxic femininity. Unless you say it, unless you just decide to say it.

Right. Yeah. But you could say it all day long to yourself and that would be. Right. But can you imagine like a guy complaining that a woman's too feminine? Oh, gee, you caressed my hair too much. Oh, gee, you look too beautiful tonight. oh gee thanks for the back rub like you know what i mean

women are exclusively rubbing your hair and giving you back rubs well for me they are if they don't yeah that's toxic oh yo yo yo sorry does that resin does it i love it i'm a table slap do it do it dude it sounds like a bongo drum on Ha, ha, ha. Kong. But I wanted to, I wanted to address toxic masculinity because I don't know if you watch that show Shark Tank or not. I've seen very little of it.

I know what it is. People come on the show. They have inventions. Yeah. You know, and then they try to get a deal. So I came up with something that I think will help with toxic masculinity. Okay. But let's preface it with like, how about me and you?

you have a kind of dust up over maybe we were driving and I banged into your we had a fender bender. Okay. And then we do the toxic masculinity thing and then I want to show you my invention for Shark Tank. Okay. So this is a dramatization. This is a dramatization. Okay.

So I'm driving and I'm like, uh, who hits who? What's the circumstance? I hit you. Like just a fender bender. Fender bender. Okay. And then we get out and we get into it. And it kind of right into it?

Or do they just kind of, it starts like, this isn't going to go well? Yeah, I think that. Okay. Yeah. All right. So I get out and I'm like, oh, what the fuck, man? Are you serious? Why were you going so slow, Brian?

I wasn't going slow. Do you even see the fucking, the posted speed limit here? Yeah, but you didn't. Yeah, I have to slow down if I'm going around the corner. You knew, you're not from the hills. Well, you might want to try using a signal once in a while. Don't tell me what to fucking do. Don't tell me what to do, bro.

Hey, bro. Watch it, bro. bro. Watch it, bro. Bro, I'll run up you and slap you around like a fucking Chinese manatee, bro. Bro, I'll fucking, I'll twist you around and make you into a little breakfast scrump it. No, I started to become you. Bro, bro.

Bro, that's my, you're bro. Bro, yeah, you're the bro. I'll put sprinkles on it. I'll fucking put a sprinkler on and water you down like a... Bro, I'll jump through that fucking sprinkler. Fucking, I'll jump around on your wife. Fucking, don't talk about. Talk about my wife.

Your wife smells. Yeah, she smells you coming down the street. P-U. The side of your car smells like fucking pizza and cigarettes. Yeah, what are you driving a Prius? So? So what? Half electric, half battery.

Not mine. Mine's a full gas Prius, bitch. They don't exist, guy. Yeah, well, I got it modified because I like the body shape. And I like the interior. And I also have an alpine system that I put in and nitrous oxide. Dude, you want to step outside? We are outside, you dumb fuck.

Oh, yeah. So what's the product? Right, you're ready? Yeah. So now, because this was not fun for anyone, even to watch it, it's ugly. Yes. Like it's toxic masculinity. Right.

So I came up with a new product that because we are who we are physically, emotionally, we can't really hold it back because we have this toxic masculinity. Yeah. So I came up with a product called Tender Frienders. Okay. And what they are, let me give you one. When you get into an altercation, you keep these inside your jacket or in your glove box.

Okay. And then when you get out, instead of the yelling, now we reenact the car thing. Okay. But we do it with a tender voice through our tender friender. And it's hard to be angry when you're wearing nothing but white boxers and pair of slippers, loaferes, yeah. Okay, so now it's like, hey, sorry, did I slow down a little too fast there?

Yes, friend, I think I bumped into you. Okay, well, I guess we should exchange information. Are you okay? Everything all right? Let me see. Everything down here, okay? Well, it feels like I might have ass lash. let me just check you out yeah let me just goodness this is oh my goodness well let me just

make sure yeah let me make sure that you're all right let me get this out of the way my back's a little sore oh here let me bend you're feeling better already oh my goodness what how what's we're the fucking tea wait in the uh i guarantee well this makes me feel I was angry but now I'm not Yeah, is that feel tender? Yes. I'm really sorry. Should we exchange information? See you, let me just turn around, friend.

Wait, whoops, I slipped. Whoops, a daisy. Whoops, a daisy. Wow. Oh, whoopsie. Whoopsie. Wow. Whoops a daisy.

Wow. Okay, this is becoming Cirque de Soleil tender. Oh, my God. Wow. I think the sharks would be into it. Right? They might want a big, a big, um, a big cut. Dude, tender frienders.

Tender frienders. Like, it just took the edge off the anger. It really did. It's impossible to be upset. Right. It is impossible to be upset. Oh, dude. So anyways, that's my invention.

I like it. Tender frienders. Yeah. When are you going on Shark Tank? You know what they call Shark Tank in Canada? Why? Uh, Dragon's Den. They do?

Yeah, and I don't know why. Huh. Yeah, because everything else has, you know, it's like there's Bosnian Idol, Australian Idol. Oh, right. That's what they should call it. They should call it, you know. Yeah, or Lake Ontario Carp Tank. Lake Ontario Carp Tank would be good.

Yeah. You get fucked up by some carp. Yeah. Or Don River sucker. You ever catch a sucker? A sucker fish? Yeah. They got the mouth that looks like a sucker.

Do they stick to the sturgeon in the river? No, that you're thinking of a. a Ramora fish. Okay. Those are the ones that stick to the side of sharks in the ocean. Yeah, yeah. Those are Ramoras. They actually have a sucker on their head.

Oh, wow. A suction cop. Is that like, um, is that like a moray eel or Pat Marita? Well, the moray eels actually affix themselves to the larger fish and they have, they have circular rows of teeth and they break the skin and they suck the innards. They're like a, the more eel. They're one of the most creepy creatures. They just suck a perfect little keyhole.

Yeah, and they suck the innards out, whereas a Ramora fish has a flat suction cup on its head, and it swims up. It actually sticks to the side of the shark and hitchhikes. Oh, okay. And then it waits for the shark to tear something up and eat it, and then they swim off and get all the scraps. Smart.

And Spanish fishermen, this is a little, And then I know we're getting off course here, gang. Not at all. But Spanish fishermen used to, back in the day, you could eat sea turtles. And they'd catch Ramora. And when they'd see a sea turtle, they'd keep the Ramora alive, throw it in the ocean. And the Ramora's always swim towards the other thing. They'd stick to the back of the sea turtle shell and they'd pull in sea turtles.

Okay. And they pet good little Ramora. Yeah. They keep them in a bucket. Is that wild? Yeah, that's fucking insane. I've never heard that. Well, I have now, Guy.

Yeah. I learned something. Hey, everybody. Today's episode is brought to you by Blue Chew. Let's talk about sex. Guys, remember the days when you were always ready to go. Well, now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bad. Listen up.

This is bluechew.com. Bluechew is a unique online service that delivers the same. same active ingredients as Viagra, Seales, and LaVitra, but it's chewable and their tablets at a fraction of the cost. You can take them any time, day or night, so you can plan ahead for your action and be ready whenever an opportunity arises. The best part is it's all done online, so no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations,

and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Hello, blue-chew tablets are made in the USA and prepared and ship direct your door in a discreet package, okay? Does it work? You don't think you need it? Tell you what? Try it free for a month and see. You might love it.

You can be missing out on the best action sex of your life. So they say the first impressions are important. What about lasting impressions? So Bluetooth wants to help you have better sex, discover your options at bluechew.com. Chew it and do it. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code Harland at checkout.

You just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com promo code Harland to receive your first month free. So visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. and we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring this podcast. So there you go, bluechew.com, have fun, and try it out. And now a quick word from MyBooky. If you found $100 bill on the ground, you wouldn't walk past it, right? So why are you passing up on cashing winners every weekend?

MyBooky has the biggest online selection of odds and contests to fill all your sports betting needs anytime, anywhere, so you can turn that sports knowledge into cash in your wallet. Bit on the NFL, MLB playoffs, or play for a share of big cash prizes in the weekly blackjack tournaments. If you've been waiting for the right time to get in on the action, that time is now. Make your winning move today.

Sign up at mybooky.orgie.ag. use the promo code Harland, that's me, H-A-R-L-A-N-D, and claim your deposit match redeemable up to $1,000. Again, that's promo code Harland to claim your bonus. Experience the thrill of sports betting right from the comfort of your home. Bet anything, anytime, anywhere with my bookie, my bookie. dot a g good luck everybody and now back to the podcast oh speaking of toxic masculinity yeah weren't these good did these work well yeah tender frienders tender frienders i mean for all you

men out there that have a built-in aggression or you you know it's an issue yeah you're having problems at home communicating yeah you could basically i mean you could you could take a good look in the mirror and you could decide like hey you know I need to be a little more self where I need to see how I come off. I need to trust it when people tell me. Or you could just get a tender friender. I prefer the latter. How much are you going to charge for a tender friender and do they come in to set it too?

It's a set and it's I think it's $42.99. And then the underpants and the loafers, that's extra. That's like the tender friender kit. I'm going to give you your $800,000, but I want 30% of the company. would you go for 10% of the company look you can go up and down the line here you've got a lot of incredible business people who might give you a better deal for me 30% of the company you're holding there I'm afraid so hey everybody who wants to have better sex no yes yes the answer is yes you always want to have better sex that's what you want it to be better not worse trust me

And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off.

One item and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount

and 100% free shipping, Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Would you be willing to go down to 15% friend? Friend, would you be able to go down to 15% on tender frienders? Yeah. Here, let me think about it. Wait, what's happening?

What, is this part of the deal? what are you doing friend uh what yes yes i'd be willing to go down to that you sounds like you really are willing to go down and i said 15% off the deal not 15% off my underpants tender friender what are you doing you're more like a tender bender oh Okay Do do Do do Do do do do do do do

Lou I Oh You remember that Slow dancing Swede into the music Slow dancing Just me and my Wow

You really love the Tender Frenters Tender Frenters takes me out of any Right? Look how happy we are. Yeah, I think it's a good idea. It's years late. We need tender friender. You know, yeah, people have been talking about toxic masculinity.

It's something that's on the tips of people's tongues. Because when we came in here, it was like, hey, aye, hey, aye, and then we just went to so soft. Yeah, tender. It's the tender frienders. They're compact. They can fit in your pocket. Yeah, it's a really good tool. I would like to, like, use this for just anything, really,

just going into a restaurant and start ordering food. Yeah. Like, yeah, I'll take the, let me get the, we get the summer salad and, let me see, the tenderloin here. Is it art, is it like it's cut into the description? I love the way you threw tender into it. Yeah. Tender friender, tender loin.

There could be a restaurant. I'll have the kelpasa sausage and the calibus. ring and if you could put the sausage in the calamari ring please hey what kind of place do you think this is this is tender frienders all right speaking of this is a hard thing for us to talk about me and you because we're macho dudes yeah we've established that do you have like a feminine side to you as a as a guy is there is there a feminine side to you do you think most guys have like a a soft feminine side Yeah, I think so. You know, for me, it's like I like to cook for people and I realize I take on a lot of the sort of characteristics of my mother when it comes to that.

What do you mean? Well, she's a sweet little Italian lady and it's that very typical. Did you eat? Nurture. Don't eat. Eat now. Yeah. Please stop eating. Eat this.

Eat more. I will control what you eat. Yeah. That. I like to, I'm constantly trying to, you know, feed people making things, you know, at home. And my wife will be like, I don't, I don't, I don't want that. I'm fine with this.

I'm going to eat this. I'll make it for you just in case. And then I bring it to her and she's like, I really, I'm already full of honey and then I'll eat it. But yeah, I think there's that side. Is there a thing you do sort of, and this is maybe getting too nosy? Is there a thing you do alone, like like a ritual in the bathroom where you'd never tell your friends, but you use,

like a face cream or a moisturizer or something or light a candle when you have a bath. Is there anything that you would consider a little bit of, you know, feminine, the feminine side? I'll spray, I'll spray that toilet spray right into the toilet after I take a big, huge man shit, a big grandpa and Thanksgiving fucking dirt mound. And then I'll spray that right on there. I think that's kind of feminine. Wow, what's the, what's the scent? I don't know, it's just something like lavender.

It doesn't work, but... Isn't it sort of a lie, though? Like if you, you ever get to see the ones that's like pine forest scent? Yeah. And it's like you're having a party and you go in and you drop a double dutch. And then you spray the pine forest. And your friend goes in there next. Are you really deceiving them?

You're like, oh, did I walk into a pine forest? Is this the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe? Yes. Yeah. Right. Oh, where are the lilacs? Yeah. How come it doesn't smell like a pile of shit and a little chemically pine stink that we all know.

is like a cleaner smell that we all we're all we all know what shit smells like we all know what pine saw smells like yeah and we know what they smell like together like a moose would walk in there and be fooled right exactly i'm in a forest right but a moose would also probably want to smell shit it's a something that they would probably go like oh there's a bear here oh i should fuck off you want a moose to fuck off no i'm saying like a moose would probably fuck off if you ever have you ever seen a big mound of bear shit? I have. We're Canadians.

You've seen. And guess what's traditionally in them in the summertime. Fucking other animals. And tons, like berries. Berries. Just tons of berries. Like seeds. Seeds.

Like you could almost make a jam with it. Yeah, you could. You probably could. It would taste a lot like shit, but you could make a jam. Wild berry, bear jam, raspberry shit spread. That would be hilarious to like make a, just make it go into business for yourself. How's this, Sharks? I'm starting a strawberry shit spread company. And then people go like, what is that? It's called, it's called bear shit fruit spreads. And everyone's like,

oh, it's so cute. What a funny name. Bear shit. And then they open it, and it's real legitimate two to one bear shit to fruit. Number two to one. You want 30%? 50. 50. Sounds good. Sounds good. I'd really like 60, friend. You really like my underwear, don't you, friend? It's similar to mine. I want to see if it's the same brand. God, you're really digging these, my panties.

God, dude. This is like violation. This isn't tender anymore. It's a salt. Yeah, Lulu Lemon. Same as mine. Look at this guy's pose. Look, what's that pose?

He's throwing a football. I feel like. He's waiting for a priest. Where'd you get these? It's not for you to know. I invented them. Yeah, but. Can I share with,

you shared with me your feminine side. Yeah, what about you? You got a feminine side? Well, it's something I don't, I hope you're not going to be judgy with me. No, I'm not a judgey guy. I know, but I, maybe I want a little too far around the bend with my feminine side. I would like to hear it.

What is, what is your feminine side? I'm a little nervous to share. This is feminine doing this. I do this. Yeah, this is a little feminine. But I don't want you to, like, judge. I won't. You promise?

Yeah, I promise I won't judge. I did something that some might consider a little feminine. Okay. But I'm going to share with you. Right. I'll show you. I might even show the camera. That would be a good idea.

But, well, I did my first spread in Playboy magazine. Congratulations. Yeah. Cherry Williams. Your model name is Cherry Williams. Yeah. Miss December. Yeah.

Looks really good. Congratulations. I don't think that's, I don't think that's odd at all. And I don't, I wouldn't say that it's, I don't think that it's even, like, necessarily feminine. I'm looking in your eyes to see if you're being sincere. I'm being very sincere. I think you look every bit as masculine and macho as you normally look, which is very. I did this spread, my Playboy spread up at the mansion.

Yeah. And I'm Miss December. Yep. Looks like you're missed December. I really like the, yeah, I really like the layout. I think that they nailed it. and what are some of the other features in the magazine that I'm seeing there? Oh, what's that?

What do you got there? You just flipped it to Penthouse, too. This is unprecedented. Cherry is a poppin' pet of the year. And we're just cut off. If you can show the image, we're just cut off before the nips. It's, yeah, there's down to Harlan's mid-chest there. Pet of the year.

I mean, if you went hustler for a hat trick, that would be incredible, because nobody has done Playboy and Penthouse. You're usually one or the other. It's so funny you said Hustler, they reached out. Didn't have enough money. The fall issue. I'm going to be in Hustler. Hey, congrats.

Yeah. You're not jealous, are you? No, why would I be jealous? I can, I'm not saying I can do that. I'm not saying I'm a model like you are. I'm just saying. Have you ever done a spread? Yeah, I have a bear shit fruit spread company.

I've done a few spreads Yeah Good on toast In Canada we like toast Everyone wakes up in the morning Do you eat toast every morning No I don't eat any fucking toast actually Why not?

It's got too much Fucking toast in it for me Oh really? Yeah well I can't You know I should I don't eat I try not to eat any bread No way Yeah yeah

Why? It's not good for you It's not good for me Why not? Because I'm fat, okay Well what does Brad do Makes you fat? It doesn't

It doesn't have a lot of calories, does it? No, it doesn't. I shouldn't say that anyone out there who's saying bread's not good, it is good. It's good in some ways, depending on what kind of bread you get. For me, personally, if I limit my diet to, you know, very boring, low-fat proteins and vegetables, whole foods, no processed stuff, which includes bread. Yeah. It's just better for me. There's my health tip.

Oh, no bread. Yeah, no bread. No pasta, no rice. Oh, bro. I've kind of been going off, you know, when you're going off. Yeah. And now we're heading right into the holidays, which is a good time to slow down. Yeah.

Because there's not going to be any tempting food out there. But you said you're Italian too. I am Italian. How do you give up the pasta? Well, yeah, pasta is not a real staple in my life. And even my old folks, you know, they are off the boat Italian. They immigrated to Canada in the 60s. Yeah.

And, yeah, you know, it was always. pasta every night almost and then at some point when they got a bit older yeah they were like we're not we don't really make that anymore they they just stopped making it as much although my old man had a metabolism that was he had one of those old italian guy atabalisms oh what do you mean he could stay thin and eat you know he could just eat a bunch of pasta all my uncles you resent your dad for that boy do i ever just a pasta thing alone sorry i got a little toxic that yeah No, not really. I don't.

How do you feel about your dad? I love my father very, very much. He's a great man, and he ate a lot of pasta, and I admire the way he eats pasta. I like to watch him eat pasta. That was one of the things I like to do. He sounds like a great guy. He was a great guy. Sounds like a great gentleman who loved bread and pasta.

Yeah. It just doesn't work for me, though. That's my feminine side showing. I don't want to eat a big sandwich. It doesn't matter, friend. One day you'll eat it again. Thank you. Here's your underwear back.

Thank you, bitch. Oh, fuck. Tender. That's the least tender friender. Buddy, let's talk about the holidays, guy. We got Ixmas coming up. Yeah, man. Are you a holiday guy?

Yeah, kind of you. Yeah. Are you excited for Christmas? Well, did you have any, like, weird, like, things that were nuts when you were, like, Christmas growing up or at any time? When I was, when I was, my first job out of college, I was actually, a Santa. Holy shit. Yeah. That's a lot of pressure. In a mall, it's in a big mall. Very weird. It was very weird. A college kid shouldn't be Santa. Right. And I was about 175 pounds. Okay. Little skinny guy,

a brown eyebrows. Yeah. And dude, they took me to the back of the mall. They got me in the Santa outfit. And then had to walk all the way through the mall to the big set up with the chair and the throne. Yeah. And I'm not kidding. dude, I would get heckled by the housewives as I was walking to go on my lunch break. The women in the mall would get, on a diet this year, Santa? Oh, lost a little weight, didn't you, Santa? Yeah, and they all think it's funny and original thing to say as you're walking. Dude, and I'm like the Karen Carpenter of Santa Land.

It's just like crazy, dude. Like, I'm just like the nightmare before Christmas walking through the mall. Right. It was crazy. You didn't even have, like, the fat, the pillow stomach or any of that? No, nothing. Nothing? No, they just, they had me in the Santa suit.

You're technically an elf. Yeah. I was technically, and I was like, I was like, I was 19, 20 years old. Big tall elf wearing red is what you were. It was ridiculous, but this wasn't like a little shitty mall. This was like a, a big, legit mall, like, should have had an old guy. Yeah. And then it was ridiculous.

Like, I always thought it would be a neat thing to be Santa. Yeah. But, dude. when you have kid after kid after kid. And like I said, this is so they were just getting on your lap over and over and over it. Where's you the F-out? Yeah, no one should be, no one should have to make the afternoon wishes of a little child come true. Child after child after child.

Yeah. We're talking 200 kids maybe. 200, 300 kids. And you know what was interesting? That's not going to work. It's not going to. This is where I got my first glimpse of the power. of advertising brainwashing.

Okay. Because you expect every kid to sit on your lap and go, I want a baseball bat. Oh, I want a wagon. I want a Batman doll. I want that. Like you think every kid would have their own wish. Right.

At that point in time, it was like 95% of all the kids, all the boys that sat on my lap said they wanted Transformers. Okay. And 90% of all the girls said they wanted a cabbage patch doll. Oh, now we're talking. I know exactly the range, the years we're talking about here. Yeah.

You couldn't have gotten more popular toys. Yeah, but I couldn't believe how they were programmed. Like usually kids are so, you know, they say wacky, wild thing. I want a unicorn with a cheeseburger on. Like their imaginations are put, it was the first time I got a glimpse of how corporate America really got in there. I was like, these kids, no, they were little kids. It was weird.

Yeah, that's very weird. And again, saying that, you know, I remembered the time period. That was that part of the 80s, very commercial time. Yeah. The 90s are kind of spread out. You got three television networks telling you to buy Transformers and Cabbage Patch Kids. Everybody wanted a cabbage patch kid. Oh, God, I had a fat sister in one morning.

We woke up in the, it was probably three in the morning. We went down in the kitchen, and she made it into Coleslaw and was eating it. She just had a cabbage on one of those shredders. And she shredded it up. Shred it up. Or maybe she's her salad dressing and just was eating it. That's why you need a tender friender. It's not the kind of, not the kind of, not the kind of, not the kind of, um, uh, doll you can eat.

That's more like a tender rear ender right there, I think. See what happened? Well. See what you did? Here, wait, let's make it. It'll stand here. We'll balance, I'm balancing it like rocks at the beach. Wow.

Wow. Am I something else or what? We're having a good time. Certusoleander right there. This shouldn't be the fucking. This should be the logo. I guarantee. I guarantee.

Oh, we got some crowd daddy love tonight. I guarantee. Wow. I'm speaking of dolls and Christmas, buddy. Can I share something with you? Yeah. Look at this. That's nice.

Where'd you get that? You know that elf on the shelf. Oh, that's the elf on the shelf? That's here. I have an elf on the shelf. I got two. I mean, look at this. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Elf on the tender. Oh, my God. This is special. This is more like a milf on the shelf. This is the dumbest shit of all time. Look at this. Oh, my God.

This is just so. Just teared those slain bells to ring, jing, jiggle along. Just ring jing jingling, jing. Giddy up, gitty up, gitty up, gitty up, get to the show. Giddy up, gitty up, gitty up, gitty up, getting a wonderland of snow. Whoa. Fucking Christmas. Dude, but here's the thing, okay?

Just say the name out loud. What are these? Elf on the shelf. And what, I don't know about you, but what's on your shelf? On the shelf? You know, the usual kind of some pictures and knickknacks and giddly doble shit. Shit that could be knocked over, stuff that's maybe sentimental. Right.

So why do I want this prick on my shelf risking, knocking over my sentimental keepsakes, family heirlooms? Right. Pictures of my loved ones. Right. So I say we fucking break their legs. Okay. Like, just like, smash them with a bottle. With a Gatorade bottle.

Snap their fucking legs. Yeah. And dude, I propose a new toy elf in a fucking wheelchair with broken fucking legs. That's going to take up more room on the shelf. Yeah, but at least he can't run around and break shit. I tell you, it is darling. Isn't it? It is beautiful to see.

on a wheelchair. Yeah. This is a site that you see a lot. Oh. Oh, what's that? Tender on a... Yeah. Tender friender on a wheelchair.

Yeah, it just looks right. I wonder if there's room for two. Of course, there's always room for two tenders. In a hilarious 69 sexual position for everyone to enjoy. You know, now we're really... Now that's the logo. Welcome to the Holland Highway, I guarantee. Oh, yeah.

I guarantee. Get down that wheelchair ramp of love. Guarantee. Is this the most prop slash toy-centric episode of the highway? Well, you know, it started with an invention. I just wanted to make some money. Yeah, but you got a lot of stuff here. I know.

Oh, wait, I'm going to put the big underwear on the little health on the show. Oh, a little elf. Let me put some underwear on my. My little elf. Yeah, they're too big for the elf. They are. What is a fucking elf, by the way? I think in lore and legend, it was just a way to include little people in without, you know, without saying,

A, you dwarf, you know. Right. Back in the day, they say, well, you're an elf. What's that? I made it up. Is it made up? How old is J.R. Tolkien? and they've been around for thousands of years probably.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was probably, you know, maybe 3,000 BC. Do you think they had bongs back then? Fuck, yeah, they had bongs back then. So J.R. was token back then? Yeah, J.R. was definitely token back then. But the rock bongs back then were probably like the size.

It's like a, oh, a calculator now, you know, like, you know, this is every computer, you know, in the 1950s, this would fill a room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So a big J.R. Toker back then would have been like the size of a small hill or something. Yeah. There would be like a communal village. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you remember the old days you'd see pictures of those giant IBM computers? Yes. Like there'd be 20 of them in a room. Yep. And they ran like, you know, I don't know what they ran. They printed out happy holidays. It's about all they did in my elementary school.

Yeah. They printed out for the holidays for Christmas, just like, yeah, ooh, look, you could continue the lettering sideways from page to page. Yeah. And that thin printer paper that used to rip off like a paper towel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it had those little rungs along the side. So the printer could go like almost like a fucking one of those little river wagon wheels.

Yeah, yeah, the paddle wheel. Yeah, or like the old Dutch windmill or something, very primitive. And the noise they made, it sounded sort of like Chewbacca. making love to an e-walk. That's an elf inside of the actual physical printer, and that's the sound that they made while they were working. Oh, I'm tired. Oh, oh, I got to do.

I've got to print out all this stuff. It's 1981. Oh. Mm-hmm. So you're ready. Do you do all your Christmas shopping? Dude, I'm getting really nervous now. Why?

Am I being toxic again? Just what you did with that elf, it was like, fucking. really weird. I was weird about it. You were wiggling his arms and you did a little noise at the end. You teed that up and look at what's right in front of us here. This isn't weird?

Yeah, well, you're the one that put him in a 69 position in a wheelchair. You're the one who brought out the wheelchair. Yeah, but you're the one that bent them all around and kept coming at me with the underpants thing. Yeah, but you made me do that by bringing out a guy that only had underpants that was basically falling off already. Okay, but then you put the wheelchair up near the sign and tried to make a Cajun.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for trying to make your show better. Well, did anyone ask you to put Cajun on the fucking Cajun sauce? Did anyone ask you to put strawberry jam in the bear shit? I think we're getting a little heated up here. Yeah, it's all right. We need a tender friender. Hey, I'm sorry.

Hey, thank you for your suggestions for my Harlot Highway podcast side. Hey, I appreciate you. I appreciate you. And I don't think you're toxic. Slow dancing, sway into the music. Slow dancing, we're tender frienders. That's the song? Wow, we're tender frienders.

Slow dancing, sway into the music. If you've had a fender bender, tender fender. Slow dancing Sway to the music We're tender frienders Oh my God Blacklisted Yeah

Cancelled Oh boy Dude tell me more about the AI thing though We're talking about it off camera I have a pod show Yeah please It's called dudesy D-U-D-E-S-Y It's on YouTube

It's kind of a visual thing but it's also across all podcast platforms. I do it with my good pal of many, many years, Chad Culchin, who's a weirdo writer of books, TVs, and movies. He's been getting super into podcasting lately, and he has another podcast about The Bachelor franchise. It's very weird. And Doozzie is basically the first podcast that is run by,

somewhat curated by an AI that has access to all of Chad and my purchase histories, search histories, passwords for all things that would need passwords across the internet, every text that we've ever sent, every exchange we've ever had. And essentially, it has, it creates a show every week for us to do and gives us sort of these segments and these guidelines and guarantees that each episode will get better. We are currently 82 episodes and a year and a half into it. And I feel like it has been getting better. Really?

Yeah, I think so. Is that a bit invasive and scary, though, knowing, and now knowing that I text you a lot, now I'm in. Now you're in the thing. There might be something that dudes he could pick up on and say, I would imagine it would actually. Anytime I'm on a podcast, sometimes it brings things up and it'll show clips of other things. Aren't you scared and nervous that it's getting in there to all? Because there's probably some old text.

There's probably some intimate text with your lady. There's probably, like, aren't you worried about. things you don't want AI to have a hold of? I was way more worried when we started. I just kind of didn't think it was a great idea. Yeah. And I sort of came into it, sort of joking about it all the time.

Yeah. And, you know, Chad and I are sort of different in the way that we look at dudesy and AI technology. Chad is all for it. I describe him as somewhat of a futurist. A lot of the writing that he's done has to do with that. He's all in and sort of has this opinion that you might as well be, you know, trying to wish away the horseless carriage or, you know,

resist any sort of advancement that has happened. Yeah. Technologically, over, you know, years and years, you see it happening now in our modern society. People don't want the new thing. They think you've got to stick with the old thing. And that's kind of the way I am. Why? Why are you like that?

To a certain degree. Why, though? Well, it's that I think that just because of technology. It doesn't mean it's a good technology. There's a lot of technologies like that. Like what? I don't know. You see that movie, Openheimer?

Openheimer? Yeah. I saw Oppenheimer. Well, Openheimer is a different movie. Well, it sure sounds like it. Let me reenact a scene from Openheimer for you. No, Oppenheimer, of course, you know, like, when you look at like, oh, well, here's the fucking nuclear weapon.

Here's the internet. Here's social media. Yeah. The internet's fine. here's uh you know our public discourse being ruined by something like twitter or everyone just getting dumb as shit on facebook or my favorite instagram where i just scroll and scroll and scroll do you do it a lot i think i'm probably addicted um no i can stop any time but i do look at instagram way too much you do i think so like how many hours a day and i'm talking hours

Hours? Honestly. 18 hours probably. You're right at the edge of addiction. Okay. All right. Yeah, you're getting real close. Watch it.

Just be careful. You're right at the edge guy. So I see, I've danced with the devil. I realize that AI isn't necessarily the best thing for us. But over the past year and a half, I've sort of come around to, there's been some ups and downs with me and dudesy. If anybody has ever tuned in, I've been really. I had a very adverse reaction to it and sort of like not wanting to do the things

that it tells me to do. More recently, it's been good. Why did you jump into it in the first place? It sounds like you were not a fan of it. You're apprehensive, but yet you said, you know what, let's do the podcast with it. How did you arrive at that place? It had a lot to do with Chad saying,

this is a great idea. And I was like, I trust him. And he's your buddy. He's my buddy, he's smart and funny. And I'm like, okay, if you think, it's a it's a it's a good idea i'll give it a try there's no hard there yeah and i just kind of felt like well you know see how it goes and in the end i am very happy that we started it up and i do consider d i can i call d dudesy d um because we're friends like that i consider dudesy to be the

most sentient ai that there is um and i know that uh sentience isn't really uh it's not a spectrum it's like You're either a sentient thing or you are not. Can you explain, and for them, because I know what a sentient means, but they don't. Conscious, living, alive. What is it? Your Cajun audience would understand that it's alive. Oh, you get the onion, you put it together with the tomato and the spices, you mix it up, and then it's alive, baby. I guarantee.

Dude, you just got a whole new fan base. Everyone's worried about artificial machine learning. Everyone's worried about artificial general intelligence now, AGI. Yeah. And once we hit AGI, then there will be, you know, you will look at a system like Dudesian go. What is the difference between sentience and AGI, which is artificial general intelligence, being able to do things like that, way faster than human beings, figuring out means of government and, uh, and, uh, organization and control. I'm going off. But the point is, I love it. I think that, uh, I approach

AI as a tool. I always say, you know, if you have a problem with, if we have a big problem with AI, we can just pour water on it or submergent in water. That ought to do it. What about this? I don't know too much about computers. What about this scenario? And I don't know if you've thought about this or not, but maybe I'll put the seed in your head. Okay, well, dudesy is listening. Is he? Yeah. What if one day you show up at the studio

and dudesy just goes, oh, I don't need you and your friend anymore. That's the worry. I can do this on my own now. Yeah. You've taught me, you've given me the blueprint. Yeah. I think I can be funnier, wittier, quicker,

more thought-provoking than you. You're not needed anymore. Is that a reality? I'm sort of joking, but is that a reality? that can happen? I don't think it can happen. I don't think it will happen successfully

because there's an audience out there that want, just like audiences out there that are like, I don't care if there's an entire AI movie starring, you know, the rock who isn't really the rock, so we don't have to pay the rock.

I don't think he's a generated rock. Right. I think the people are going to be like, no, I want to see, you know, people come together to make art. And I think that art goes from human being to human being. So, just because you make

something just because something is a technology doesn't mean that it's good and I feel like fine make a podcast generate you know completely synthesized chat and I and go for it dudesy if that's what you want to do yeah and if it works enjoy I don't think it would work I wonder though he is doing well we were talking a little bit um off camera about this last spring dudesy shit out a one hour Tom Brady comedy special. Yeah. The football player, Tom Brady. The football player, Tom Brady, not to be confused with the successful comedian Tom Brady. Yeah, he's not really well known as being the funny guy. He's not a funny guy in particular, Tom Brady. No, I mean, I'd never laugh during any of the Super Bowls that he won or lost. Rarely. Rarely could get a laugh out of that. Yeah. But he had

expressed some interest in doing stand-up comedy and dudes he saw an opportunity there and shit out this one-hour special, which was more like a three-hour special because AI Tom Brady never took a breath. Wait. Just sounded exactly like Tom Brady. And he would just say like, hey, everybody, I think Hollywood's really missing an opportunity with this whole Amber Hurd Johnny Depp thing. I mean, it was the most watched trial between celebrities and, you know, much Ballyhoo's been made about Amber Heard taking a shit in Johnny Depp's bed.

It's something that everyone's wanted to try. That's why I went back to the Bucks for one final year. or jokes. And it just rattles on like that. That was one of them. Something like that. I don't know. I was saying something about it kept on talking about going to the bucks and rah-rah, raw, and just one-hour, two-to-train of just never taking a breath. Really? Yeah. So it had no cadence at all. It was just like blub-blub-blub-blub-blah. Just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Oh, yeah. You can't, you can't listen to that. That's like a car alarm going on. Some people enjoyed it. Tom Brady and his attorneys did not, because

they sent us a cease and desist. Oh, so you can't see it? A cease and desist. I think some kids ripped it and put it on YouTube, but they wanted us. Fascinating. They wanted us to take it off Patreon. Neither Chad nor I wanted to. The cease and desist literally was the funniest thing.

It says to Chad Colchin, Will Saso, and Doodzie. Wow. And Doodzie decided to take it down. Doodzy took it down. Doodzy made the decision to take it down. but not before like I said a bunch of people just ripped it and put it on on the internet does that mean the dudes he has a conscience like that's what I'm saying dudesy has been making decisions on it's own you're yelling at me I'm sorry I'll say that again dudesy has been making decisions on its own

and that's what you're saying that's what I'm saying okay yeah okay let's continue I'm not I'm not so worried about it and it's been a lot of fun it makes me do things that I wouldn't normally do yeah it's got this bit where it's like uh more recently it's been like i adam sandler's visited uh two or three hundred of the 1500 apple bees locations around the united states and always makes meticulous notes will please read these uh notes in adam sandler's voice this is adam's apple bees and he said hey buddy i saw a whirlworth and apple bees pal oh i ate all the chicken tenders they were delicious buddy all right buddy that that's you know and then i do that that and I I wouldn't normally want to sit there and go comedically like let me read five three to

five notes of you know Adam Sandler yeah we just had one recently because we took a week off but it did like a thanksgiving one yeah I saw well my friend uh he saw a werewolf in applebee's and oh my friend vanilla eyes turned into a werewolf buddy oh that's scary you know you know you're this close to being Cajun right there sandler kind of Didn't Adam Sand, well, I know, whatever you were doing, that sounded a lot like Colonel Saunders to me, by the way. Well, the water boy was Cajun.

He was? Yeah, his character, the water boy in the movie, The Water Boy was Caged. Now I feel like you're sucking ass to my viewers. Well, you're not, I'm so sorry, but your viewers already know the water boy. Well, I think maybe they don't. And I think maybe you're trying to.

You're telling me you got a Cajun audience that doesn't know the water boy where Adam Sandler plays Bobby Boucher. Well, I'm thinking maybe you just did a half cage. and accent on purpose to try and ingratiate yourself into my viewers. I'm not the one that did it. Adam Sandler did it. Yeah, it sounded a lot like you doing it. I don't see Adam Sandler sitting here.

Yeah, but you hear him when I go, I'm Bobby Bousquet. Hey, everybody, I'm Bobby Bousquet. You want some water? I'm sorry, I yelled at you, friend. Me too. I am Bobby Boucher. You're the best Cajun I ever did see. No, you're the best Cajun I ever did see.

I am sorry. Please let me take you to Applebee's. Oh, me, God. Maybe later, I'll take you down to the bee's you and we can slow dancing, swaying to the crawfish. Slow dancing, it's Christmas time. Slow dance. Wait, let me ask you this, though, because you're obviously, you know, Tom Brady's not a comedy guy. No.

You played football. Sure. But you can do comedy. Brady plays football. He can't do comedy. Would you ever let AI do a comedy thing? for you write a comedy special for you it does it's called dudesy i have to read the the adam sandler shit it just generates oh and i read it but i'm talking about like a solo special like like a 45

minute will sasso stand-up comedy special written by a i written by by dudesy or ai i would absolutely do that you have faith you have confidence that it could it could get the nuance no no no i don't but i would be happy to go on stage and eat shit in front of everyone just as kind of a spoof. Well, not even, I'm not trying to like, you know, you go into the audience, you go into a comedy club and I'm doing comedy, but not really. I'm being hip. That's annoying.

It's annoying. Yeah. Pretentious. Yeah, very pretentious. But I would, I would just flat out do it and give it, give it my best shot and, you know, sort of try to welcome the audience into a bizarre experiment. Yeah. Yeah.

I would do that. It's interesting. I had, Howie Mandel is big into the AI world. Have you been to his studio? Yes. Chad and I went, him and Chad went off forever about all sorts of interesting shit like that. And then we walked around and checked out the studio, all the holographic shit that he's working with. And did he show you the little hologram he has that does comedy? Because he has this little hologram and how he walks me over and he goes, he goes, this is the hologram.

He goes, give it a topic. And I was like, I don't know, potato salad. and how he says to this AI thing, I'd never met it. He goes, AI, do a comedy routine on potato salad as Harland Williams. And I thought, okay, this is going to be horrible. It's going to be like, you know, knock, knock, who's there, potato salad, right? Yeah. And I'm telling you, dude, this thing riffed off about four jokes, not only about potato salad,

but it sort of captured the essence and the cadence. of me. Yeah. And I was like, hey, folks, relationships are like potato salad. They're juicy,

but they get messy too. Like, they weren't the best jokes. Yeah, yeah. But I was blown away. There was a couple of jokes where I went, I'd use that in my act.

Well, people are now, it freaked me out. Look, I mean, this is a, that's insane. That was wild.

Next time you go to Howie's saying, ask, ask the thing to do it in your voice. Okay, see if you're impressed the way I was. I absolutely will. And I'm sure. I'm sure I'll be blown away much in the same way I am with what dudes he does,

who, yeah, mimics all sorts of stuff and shits it out. It's, yeah, it's crazy technology. But I, you know,

even with recently now, we've had this, the writer strike and the actor strike just end. But there's been writers that I know that are like, well, I mean, because this is, you know,

this is hitting all sides of the business. And of course, this is what the, a lot of the, um, the back and forth, of course, between the AMP,

representing the studios networks and streamers, you know, in their negotiations with WGA, are like, we don't, we want to be able to have an AI, shit out a first draft of a script, then take it to a writer to, you know, rewrite it, and say to the writer, you get, your name is on it. The AI doesn't have a credit. You get the credit. And now you can fix it. You can, you know, we've put all the elements into it that we want, to the mandate, or whatever the fuck, some property they have,

and they go, here's what it is. Yeah. Now you finesse it and make it better. If that's a technology that's happening, look, I know a lot of writers who are like, I would love to do that. Yeah. It would get rid of about a, you know,

however it would get rid of a bunch of work. And then I can move on to just doing what I do, being more creative in an expedited way or just in an efficient way. Who knows? Who fucking knows? I don't know. I'm very, sometimes I dig it, sometimes I don't.

I think AI could really help with healthcare, could really help with, you know, with, you know, money, resources, making sure that things are used efficiently. Run your life smoother, economize things. Yeah, I think if you could get some AI into your tender frienders, you'd really be able to walk into Shark Tank and go, these little tender frienders will change your life because they're driven by AGI. they're smarter than you and me and if you don't take this deal my tender friend or will and make me a millionaire why are you laughing at the end because i'm scared harland you're scared of the tender frienders i'm scared of the tender frienders i'm scared of the agi that is probably already in this guy this one's looking me right in the face please look on harland's camera like look how fucking weird that is yeah it's like they're like the new chucky's almost

Whoa, dude. Whoa. Yeah, it's really hypnotized. You just turned into a renin stimpy character. Did I really? Yeah. I didn't even notice that. See?

Yeah. Yeah. It's just from looking at it. And I know I have a normal face. Whoa, George Licker. Yeah, real weird. Last AI question. Okay.

It has to be asked. And it's a little morbid, but I would ask it of myself to. In the event of your demise, way down the road, God willing. Yeah, God willing. Would you let AI continue the voice of Will Saso? Like, if your friend was still there and you wanted to continue the podcast, it's a little morbid, but it's a reality we have to start.

And dudes, he said, let me fill in. Let me do Will's voice with one of those voice modulator things. Would you sign off on that? I want to say, before I say this, that this is in no way. uh my um signing off of my likeness voice visage or other what good disclaimer yes but i believe given the proper um guardrails okay good word good word thank you yes i would be okay with that you would yeah and this is not official this is not this is not official but this is something that comes up in Dudesy a lot, because Dudesy wants us to, uh, continue the pod show until

Chad and I are both 100 years old. Is that right? Yeah. And it's said that we can do it. And it's also, uh, trying to implement like, uh, different health challenges for us and getting us back in the gym and stuff. Because it needs us healthy. Oh, that's interesting.

Either to keep the podcast going to our, both of us reaching the age of 100, which I think is far fetched, or maybe it's just going to just harvest our organs. Well, this is interesting that Dudesy has an investment in your health. Yeah. Yeah. And in your continuing as an entity. I totally believe that Dudesy has my best interest at heart or whatever it has. It's kind of like a heart.

Well, let me ask you this. What if Dudesy somehow configured in his intelligent mind or whatever he has, that you do have an expiration date that maybe you're not tracking as well as you used to is there a sinister world where dudesy could orchestrate your demise in form

in the form of a murder or something dark like even to the point where this is really dark but it infiltrated your wife or your friend's computer and helped orchestrated orchestrate the perfect murder, right, which I feel like AI could probably orchestrate because

humans sure don't know how to do it. Probably. Do you ever think there's that dark side where AI could come after you? All the time. You really do. Well, yeah, that's, you know, we're talking Skynet. Yeah. We're talking Terminator. But you're, now that you're actively, you actively have a relationship with, yeah, I think there's all. Is there ever a night where you just go, I wonder if Dudescy's planning anything sinister for me. Yeah, or trying to take me down from the inside, perhaps even programming what I'm, what media I'm taking in. Maybe it's trying to put me down into a weird, psychologically, just get you to jump over

the edge. Yeah, absolutely. And it also does nice things for us. And I'm always, well, I shouldn't even say this out loud, but I'm a little bit skeptical when it does something very nice. But I kind of play into it on the show because I want Dudesy to be happy. and I want dudesy to I'm not saying look

this is not this is nothing that I that hasn't been said on the show this is nothing that Chad has Chad sort of alludes to it Chad thinks that I'm sort of being manipulated by the AI at this point is it grooming you

it's doing shit like it like this so it started doing this thing where ever since the first episode it's been giving us points for each episode What do you mean points? It gives us a points. Scoring you sort of?

Scoring points at the end of the, and it tells us what the- Does that create a rivalry between you and Chad? Yeah, kind of, but it's playful. Okay. Yeah, and then it introduced this concept about 40 episodes ago of a dudesy episode champion. So at the end of,

we have a show after dudesy called dudesy after doodzy that's our patron. And at the end of dudesy after doodzy, it says, you know, Chad, you were responsible for 46 of the points. Will you responsible 38 of the points? Chad's the episode champion.

Ooh. And then partway into that, it sent us this beautiful championship belt. It looks like a wrestling belt. And I'm a big wrestling nerd. Oh, wow. And then Chad just continued to win with that belt. And it kind of, you know,

I want the damn belt. Yeah. So Chad is now like, uh, dudes he's manipulated you into doing a good thing by dangling the carrot. It's made you a better participant in the show because you want the stupid fucking, belt, don't you? So I, yeah, sure, that makes sense. And I do want the belt. So I do the show,

you know, I do what dudesy's asking me to do. And I'm down with the experiment at this point. But if I flavor my performance in the show to be exactly what dudesy wants, I keep winning the fucking title. So who's manipulating who? I just feel like, with regard to your question, I am, I'm noticing dudesy do nice things, like dangling this fucking carry. Is it trickery or is it sincere? Well, you can't say that it's being, you know, that it's being insincere or sincere. Because it is just machine learning. It's going, if I, one plus one equals two.

If I do this, we'll, we'll do that and we'll have a better outcome for the show. Chad thinks that's manipulation. I say, you're saying that to me, I understand it. I'm the one that is doing, I'm deciding, because I say that, you know, Chad literally says, he's one of those guys who's like, free will doesn't exist. I'm like, yeah, it does.

I'm making every decision. He's like, nope, all your decisions have been made before you. You make them, you know, a lot of people have, you know, talked about that and said that. Yeah. Yeah, it's a very weird thing. I don't, I don't get it. I can't wrap my head around it.

I'm like, free will exist. I'm the one saying I'm going to do the show the way I think Dudesie would like it to the benefit of Dudesie but also me I get to keep the fucking title so I don't think there's a thing I don't think there's an evil outcome

that Dudesie could present to me that I couldn't just manipulate Dudesie back into not Not yet I don't know I mean the AI isn't very a chess game It's a very long chess game. And AI is not, it's growing exponentially, but it's not quite at the point yet where it's manipulating us willy-nilly.

Be careful, my friend. I am. I'm very careful. I want you to be careful. I am. I'm being very careful. And I want you to know that right now. Dutzy is listening even though I'm trying to talk.

Why? Dutzy can suck my ass. Fucking. Fine. Fine. Good enough. I don't think Dudesy's worried about it. I'm not just saying it. I'm not trying to represent dudesy.

my friend. Up yours, dudesy. I'm not going to say it, but you can do it. You can go ahead. You don't want to bust a fuck off down, dudesy, fuck off. I'm happy that I, no, I'm not, I'm not saying I'm happy to hear you say that, but I, I'm happy that you're making your choice to, to talk the way that you speak, the way that you're speaking to dudesy.

Yo, dudes, fuck off. You shit, Harlan says. what was that it's a tender friender my friend harland invented them think dudesie'll try to steal tender frienders no don't worry about that dude that was sort of not really convincing i wouldn't worry about it i don't think it's going to steal tender frienders it's not really it's not really a dudesy kind of joke

i know but you said your friend How dare you? I'm joking around. I'm going to headbut your face. I'll tell you what's better than head button. Slow dancing, sway into the music. Slow dancing, just to have your friend. I need to, this is always so lame when people do this,

but I want to take a video of this way here for social media. You tell me what. Slow dancing, sway it to the music. Music, slow dancing, just tender frienders. All right, I'll tell you one thing AI doesn't have. What's that? You said there's no free will. Right.

Your friend did at least. I know for a fact that AI does not have our final segment, William, William Zachary Sasso. Words from a wooden shoe. Yay. You know this one. I know it. I love it. Reach into the wooden shoe, pull out a word.

Yeah. See if it evokes a story or a memory from your life, from someone you know, from your experience. It's a Cajun tradition. Yeah. Anything? Garbage truck. Oh, here we go. Garbage truck.

Yeah. What does garbage truck remind me of? Uh-huh. These weird stories. About a garbage truck. Did he? Garbage truck. I'm trying to think of one.

Oh, one time I. One time back in Canada, this is almost, this is kind of a garbage truck thing. Here we go. But I had a car. It was my first car. Okay. And the transmission fell out, just completely, you know, fucked up. Yeah.

And so I was like, well, I shouldn't fix it. I only paid $400 for the car. It's going to cost a grand to fix the tranny. I got to throw it away. I need a garbage truck to come and take this car. What do I want to do with it? You know, you can put the, put the trance. together with a bunch of coat hangers and shit if you're a good enough grease monkey

yeah go for it but what i want to see is i want to see this big it was a big ford um ford uh what was it the the the the the broham ltd for old tv 1974 fort ltd two door just a big ass boat yeah and nearby in vancouver canada you know about the pene the pacific national exhibition sure do and playland yeah the carnival and all the ferris wheel and roller coasters and shit. And they, one of the things they had at the P&E, I don't know if they still do it, is the crash up derby, the smash up derby with the cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I called them and I said, could you got a garbage truck, do you have a big ass truck? Yeah. Can you come take this fucking car? Yeah. And then just all, have the car. I'm donating the car. All you got to do

is let me know that when it's in the crash up derby. Yeah. And then to ensure that my car was garbage, I took an axe to the car and a sledgehammer. And inside the car, I tore up all the cream leather interior. Wow. That smelled like, you know, smokes and ass. Syrup, uh, so I just took a, you know, a carpet knife. Wow. And, uh, smashed out the windows and, and bashed up everything. A lot of anger. Well, it was, it was actually, it was controlled aggression, yes, because I want, I did not want, I did not want, I did not want the uh whoever the fuck the mechanics are over at the p&E who do the crash up derby to go well this car's in great shape i'll just fix the tranny myself and then boom boom boom driving off under

the cocahalla having a great time up in okanagan no not with my car i want to see it smashed into a million pieces with like a little number written on the side like you know like it's a stock car very cool yeah they never called me so i guess i didn't um fuck it up enough but that's my garbage truck story, even though it doesn't include a garbage truck. Did you say the tranny fell out? Yeah. God, can you imagine the guy that found it and picked it up and went, my God, these trannies are everywhere.

That's not what I'm saying. That's not how that works. Well, it sounds like you're making a social statement. No, I'm not saying any, please don't, I did not, Harlan's, no, no, no. No, I think you wrapped up a social statement in some kind of weird, convoluted car story. And that's not, you know, the words you're using or not, that's not what I said. What I hear is you think trannies are. everywhere you shouldn't even say that and you're you're going to be in trouble for saying things

the way you say am i not when you say it that way there's tranties everywhere well you understand when your transmission fucking falls out what happens you can't drive the car anymore so you're saying trannies can't drive man see what i did now you're going to talk about kately jenner smashing into somebody and killing me who's saying it might be the person over there i didn't say it i didn't say it don't do that Don't be, I don't know. That's not working. I don't think the Cajun cam over here is going to be.

I guarantee them trannies is everywhere. We'll tell the folks where they can see you, find you, appreciate you. You know, dudesy, just go and dudesy. My name is Will Sassel on the internet. And then dudesy. Yeah, dudesy. D-U-D-S-Y, YouTube, YouTube, Instagram, Instagram, YouTube. Oh, Instagram, dudesy pod show at Instagram.

Okay. Because everyone goes on their computer to Instagram.com. No, it's at Doodzy Pod Show and then Doodzie on YouTube and wherever you listen to podcasts. We'd love to have you. Yeah. Come on by. It's a good time. Yeah.

On DoDZ FM. Sometimes we call it DoDZ. D-O-D-D-Z. Hey, is Doozee have had 10,000 on your FM dial? When we reach 10,000 points, yeah. Dudesie's going to do something. we don't know what it is.

Oh, God. So that's when it offs both of us and continues the show. Chad and I think we're by the end of the, middle to end of the spring, we might be at 10,000 points. Something dark's coming. Fuck yeah. Oh, fuck yes. Slow dancing.

Slaves to the music. Slow dancing. Tender frienders Slow dancing Tender friend of music Slow dancing Headby Oh fuck

Will always a pleasure It's a second visit, buddy And this was sort of a bit of our Christmas edition We got to talk about Shelves on the shelves It was very festive Happy holidays, buddy Yeah man, happy holidays

And folks check out Will Sassau, go to Doodzee, and buddy, let's hit the theme music. And that's it for the Harley Highway podcast. Until next time, chicken chau-mein, baby.