The Harland Highway - 860 - Harland visits CHARLIE LEE. Harland gets his MDICAL tests back.

Episode Date: April 13, 2017

Harland visits Charlie Lee at the Moonglow Tavern. Harland's Life Line medical screening results come in. Good news or bad? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the most happiest podcast of the year. Why am I singing Christmas carols? It's almost summer. Oh, well, that's what we do here at the Harland Highway podcast. We keep you guessing. Yes, I'm Harlan Williams, the host with the most on the Harlan Highway podcast. Today, oh my gosh. Today I get my results back from my life screening thing that I did.

You remember I told you a few podcasts back? I got my heart and my arteries and my stroke and my heart attack and all that stuff. I went to one of these screening things that you see on the infomercials. And we're going to read my results today. See if I'm good or bad, if I'm going to be alive or dead. Also, we're going to take some of your phone calls today, some interesting phone calls. And also, I'm going to visit an old friend of the show. We haven't been to see him for a while.

We're going to the Moonglo tavern and restaurant. I'm already getting acid reflux to visit Charlie Lee. Going to get some delicious Chinese food from our friend Charlie Lee at the Moonglough Restaurant. So here we go. Get your soy sauce ready. This is the Harland Highway. Sit down, strap in, and tighten your diaper. Come here, baby.

You're about to go. down the Harlan Highway. No! I didn't bargain for this. Oh, yes, you did. Chick-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-o-main, baby. And the creature from all the spayy-heed. Please don't stop.

I got to feed an ugly face. This is the Harlan Highway. I hate you. Well, that's the way it goes. What do you say? We get... Down to Business. Hello?

Hey, Arlen, this is Richard, California. I just want to say thank you on the last podcast you did with the other Lifeline. That's the most realist, like, greatest suggestion that I've heard, coming from a guy who, you know, I'm 33, and I've experienced, you know, a couple little scares. And I say, like, I always have one foot in the front and the other one out, can you, like, I do my exercises, do my exercise once in a while, but I'm absolutely kind of bad, too. And, you know, then I eat good on and off, same thing with soda. but this is promising. I'm definitely going to look into it. If anything, good for peace of mind, too.

Like you said, if I do catch something early, that's a piece of mind for me. Just to know, because the unknown bothers me more than knowing. Because knowing I could take action. I can make the necessary changes. I mean, heck, you need they lied to me. That wouldn't be a problem.

Just to have peace of mind. But it sounds really legit. I looked into it. I'm going to give it a shot again, $250 or even $300. Hey, that's no problem whatsoever. Like right now, I can't speak. You know, I'm not here by myself. I know anything can happen, but if it does, it does.

I mean, I still believe in living, you know, still shooting for certain things in life, so things that I enjoy. And I go to a second note, what you were saying, because that's something that's going to be with me, hopefully, you know, all my life. I mean, I can always go back and listen to your show. chose and just to have your voice still out there, you know, and not have it all taken down and I don't know what. I mean, that would be pretty sad because, again, you know, there's so many episodes that go through that I never get told. And it takes me to turn back to points that I

can remember when I first listened to it where I was going through some tough times. So hopefully that's the case. Hopefully you have something planned on that again. I hope you look to others. I hope we all do, right? All right, man. That's all for now. I'm going to get back to work. Love you, bud. Check your tummy. Oh, yes, Richard. There we go.

So if some of you remember a few podcasts back, I talked about going into this thing. You see the commercials all the time, the lifeline, where they check your arteries and they check your blood and they check your, they ultrasound you, and they do all these internal tests. and it's a way to gauge if you're, you have any issues, any potential issues, any current issues, any lethal issues, and I'm not a doctor, so I don't know if they're the best or the most expert or, but the point is you go in and for like 250, 300 bucks, you lay down and these medical professionals poke you and prod you and ultrasound you and prick your finger and take blood. And so it must mean something.

And so I told you guys I went in and got it done. I'd been seeing the commercials on TV and I talked to the guys. I called the number and I talked to them. And, you know, my logic was, you know, you'll take your car in once a year for a tune-up for like 120 boxes. or more, why wouldn't you take your body in for a tune-up or have, you know, at least look under the hood? You know, you change your oil every 3,000 miles. That's for a stupid car.

Why wouldn't you look under the hood of your own body and make sure everything's kind of running smoothly? So I thought, that's not a bad investment, you know, $250. And I'm not a spokesperson for Lifeline. I just did it for my own peace of mind. I did it for my own health, for my own, like, hey, if I got something going on, I want to catch it early. Or if I got something that's really bad,

I want to get to the hospital like ASAP. So I did it. I went in and did it. And are there better ways to do it? I don't know. Are there worse ways to do it? I don't know, but I did something. and they looked in and they gave me the result.

So here's what, and I'm glad people like Richard who listened to the show were maybe inspired to do the same thing. I mean, anything's better than nothing, right? And I can tell you it wasn't the most sophisticated procedure. I mean, these guys are kind of like a traveling road show where they rent out like churches and community centers and banquet halls and they set up, and it's a pretty non-evasive procedure. You know, I was only there for maybe an hour, an hour, and ten minutes,

and it's basically, you know, they set up some partitions, and they have some little tables set up, and you lay down, and they have the ultrasound, and they prick your finger. But my argument is, you know, what's the option? You go to a hospital, you wait in the emergency room, for like four hours or you wait around for all this time. You got to be in a hospital where it's depressing and you're seeing all these sick people

and you've got to fill out all this paperwork and all this insurance stuff. And then the doctors kind of just shuffle you in and shuffle you out. They don't really spend more than three seconds with you. And with this place, it was easy. I went in, I sat down, I filled out a form with my name and it said, do you have any previous ailments?

No, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes. No, no, boom, done. Okay, wait, here, here, sir. Within an hour, I was in and out. And then, like, two and a half, three weeks later, they mail me this. And it's actually really simple. It's got diagrams, and, well, let me get into it here, because I got my results.

I thought you might want to hear them. And I'll be honest, I was a little nervous getting these. You know, it's a little scary when you go to your mailbox. and there's a letter there and you're about to open it and you may find out you know, death is knocking at your door or you may find out you have some kind of disease

or you've got heart problems or your liver's failing. I mean, that's an intimidating letter to open it. It's not like, you've just won $10,000 in the magazine clearance, you know. It's like, you know, do you need your bushes trim? Do you need a new mattress? Hi, I'm your local real estate dealer.

You know, no, this is like, yeah, you're about to freaking die, man. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping.

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Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adameneve.com and select any one item. be an adventurous new toy, or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So I get my envelope with the The lifeline screening. And here's the first one.

Oh, my God. This is the, it's called the carteroid artery. And I think it's that big vein in your neck. And you ever see those pictures? You know, they always show you the pictures where it's a tube. It looks like someone's cut a worm open. And then, you know, there's a tube. But then they show you all that plaque, that yellow plaque.

and you're like, oh, God. Oh, God, there's all the hamburgers I ate and the cheeseburgers I ate and the French fries and the chips and the Coke and the bacon sandwiches and the pancakes and those eggs, those eggs with all their cholesterol. I'm going to have all this blockage in my carteroid artery. Oh, God.

And that's what can lead to like, you know, the plaque can lead to, I guess, strokes and heart attacks. and oh my God. So here it is, carteroid artery disease. And they give you a chart. Like I said, this is like for real laymen, okay? They give you a chart beside every ailment you could have. So the chart says normal, mild, moderate, significant, and critical.

Okay? So you're kind of looking right away. You know, it's a quick visual scan and everything's color coded. So normal is green. Mild is green and yellow, moderate is fully yellow, borderline is yellow and red, and findings of possible significance are rad. So visually right away, you can go, oh my God. So my first one, cartyroid artery disease, which is the clogging of those main arteries

full of that gooey yellow plaque, normal. Normal. It says no plaque present. Blood flow normal. That's the best score you can get. So right away, that was the main one, I think. That was the main one where I was freaking out because, you know, I eat a lot of junk food. And I drink a lot of Coke, and I'm trying to stop that.

But I was like, I was like, oh, God, I just know my arteries are full of that yellow plaque. And there's hardly any blood getting anywhere. And I was so paranoid about it. But it says I'm normal. And by the way, this was the one where they put the ultrasound right on my neck. And I was watching on a screen. It was like I was waiting to see my own baby in my throat. But, you know, you can see them looking in.

So my left carteroid artery normal, my right normal. Okay. And then we go to the atrial fibrillation. Sorry, I'm not a doctor, so I'm not good at. So that's your heart rhythm. And, you know, if any time your heart's going to be out of whack is when you're laying there having doctors and nurses poke you and prod you because, you know, I don't know about you, but I get all nervous and full of anxiety. But according to their machines, my heart rhythm was normal. Okay?

Here we go. Here's the next one. abdominal aortic aneurism. Yikes. Guess what? Normal. And I guess that's the big, I guess there's a huge tube. You know where your rib cage meets in the middle of your chest, where the two rib cages come right into your center of your rib plate, right in the middle, like right up from your belly button to the center of your ribs? I guess I didn't even know this. I should. because I studied basic biology and anatomy and all that. Maybe I just forgot, but I guess there's a major artery that goes right down,

and I guess that's the main artery that pumps all the blood down into your lower extremities. And they say, that's a big one. They say that one, if that one ruptures, you're as good as dead. And they've got an illustration here. They've got an illustration of just, it looks like just a regular tube, and then it looks like it's inflated, and then it looks like, you know, it's inflated, and then it looks like it's bloated, and then they've got one where it says it's ruptured.

I think if that thing ruptures, you're dead. So my abdominal aortic aneurysm, normal. Yay! My peripheral arterial disease says normal, normal, right side, left side. And I guess what this means is the pressure in your anger ankles are almost as high or higher than the pressure in your arms, which is normal. So I guess they check your ankles. I never knew that.

I guess there's a lot of blood. They test your blood because I guess down where you're at your lowest, it's important to see that the blood's moving through there. So that's good. And once again, it shows the arteries with the plaque in it. And so mine says, normal arteries. no obstruction of blood flow. Yes. So here's my next one. Osteoporosis. I've always heard that word, which has to do with like your bone mineral and your bone density and all that. Mine, low risk. I'm in the green still. I'm in the green with the low risk. I'll try and go

through these a little faster. Now here's one where I ran into trouble. Body mass. index. So what that means, basically, is I've got a few too many pounds. Okay. I'm 6-2 and I weigh 220, but I should probably weigh about 205, 200. Okay? So in this case, I got a yellow one. So there's underweight, normal, and I got moderate risk. That scared me a little bit. Okay? The Heart, Blood, and Institute guidelines and is a moderate risk. You should consult your physician to determine if you should lose weight.

Yikes. And you know what? See, this is why I'm glad I did because I'm not a fat guy, but I've got a little bit of a little extra layer that I could lose. and if nothing else, this kicked me in the ass to make me work even harder. I go to the gym a lot. I play a lot of sports, but still, like I said, I don't eat the best. So it probably kind of isn't good that I don't eat the best.

So if nothing else from this thing, it made me feel like I got to be more attentive to my diet and my exercise regime. And then here's my cholesterol's, cholesterol normal, normal, optimal, and normal. So all my cholesterols are in the right place. Okay, so that's good. My glucose, normal. Now here's one, my heart risk assessment. Now this one, it has three categories, low risk. 1%, moderate risk, 1 to 29%, high risk, 30%.

Now, I'm in the moderate risk, so I'm not high, I'm not low, I'm right in the middle. What does it mean? Your heart risk assessment score reported as 10-year CHD risk, I don't know what that means, is 5%. That means about 5 of 100 people with this level of risk will have a heart attack or die of heart disease within the next 10 years. There are many things you can do to reduce risks such as diet and exercise. So, okay, I'm in the moderate risk zone, which I think is pretty common, but it's one of the only yellow, that one in my body mass index.

So they go hand in hand. Heart risk and being a few pounds overweight are the only yellow one. So guess what, gang? this thing kicked me in the ass for 300 bucks I kind of got someone to say hey get your ass to the gym watch what you're eating and then I'll wrap it up here

because I know this is going a bit long but it's interesting I hope you find this interesting my blood pressure normal my waist normal my risk for coronary heart disease low and my congestive heart failure rate

Low. And those are the best scores you can get. So I'm excited about that. Stroke. Everyone worries about a stroke. Low. I'm at the very lowest you can be for a stroke. Diabetes, low at the very lowest. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, low. Lung cancer. And as you know, if you listen to my podcast, my dear, dear mother passed away from lung cancer two years ago. And my lung cancer risk is at the very lowest. whew so there it is there's my report that you know i didn't i didn't give you like the whole every little detail but i gave you most of it there and overall let's say there was what 20 20 things that needed to be checked 18 of them were in the best possible position and the two that were intermediate were lose a few pounds and and um watch your diet a bit better. And I'll take that advice, man. But I got to tell you, gang, you know, whether you think this is a good system or not,

you'd decide, but I feel pretty good. That gave me a new lease on life. You know, to know that I don't have that gunk in my arteries, to know that I, you know, I don't have diabetes, I don't have stroke, I don't have heart attack risk. I mean, I feel pretty good. Okay, kidding. That was not nice. I just faked a heart attack.

What a dork. What an asshole I am. What a... Oh. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. God. What a douche.

Let me grab the phone number here. Let's see. So I don't know if you guys want to try this. But as I said, it was easy. It was inexpensive. And it sure, you know, It was helpful. It cleared my head from a lot of, you know,

how many of you think about all the goofy gunk going on inside, right? So it cleared my head. It doesn't mean I won't be sick or have a heart attack or things could happen, but, you know, at least I found out that I'm not like, you know, one step away from my arteries closing up and dying next time I go to the gym. right so there you go I'm just trying to find the phone number here

because I don't know if any of you guys ever want to try this but I figure out you know I can't talk about this whole thing and then not kind of give you any information on it so I'll see if I can find the old phone

number here and you might want to try it yourself lifeline screening it's called and, you know, you could always find it online, I guess. But I know, oh, here we go, here we go. Lifeline screening called toll-free 866-579-49-9-471. 866-571. And there's a bunch of phone numbers.

When I called it was a different number. But, you know, and just so you know, those tests that I did were just some of the tests. I mean, they have, you can upgrade and spend, like, more money and get way more tests. But look, I think I covered the main ones that we all get paranoid about, right? So, so there you go. For what it's worth, that's my health report. I'm feeling good. I'm going to watch my diet.

I'm going to try and lose a little, you know, five or six, ten pounds. and something to work towards. So good stuff, Lifeline, and let me know if you guys give it a try. I'd like to hear if you had a good experience with it, and it was helpful. So there you go. Not the funniest segment I've ever done.

I know you're like, come on, Arland, we want to hear comedy. Well, this could extend your life, so you hear more comedy. How about that? What if you go to Lifeline? and you find out that you are one of those people that need some attention. And by going, you extended your life for 10 years. Well, that's 10 more years worth of comedy.

Although we had to sacrifice one podcast to... Well, you know what? There's some comedy coming up. Don't worry. I'm not going to leave you without any comedy. I'll even go a little longer on this show to make sure you get some comedy. You can't talk about all this stuff and then not have a laugh. Although I do think I made you snicker when I fake the heart attack.

Or were you just pissed off at me? All right. So there you go. That's my lifeline screening adventure. Is it your turn now? Huh? We shall see. Hello?

Hello? Hey, Harlan. Hey, man, I just say, don't listen too much to that tiny. dude uh when you know he's giving you a hard time about being a dietitian or not being a dietitian or not being a political commentator or a personal trainer all that stuff but listen to that guy actually like how you mix it up you know you mix up some stuff in real life you know a little bit of uh looking at your life and taking it seriously to a point you know taking care of yourself

and mixing that with some of good ball comedy. I like the way you do that. It makes you more of a real person and appreciate the way you bring yourself, your full self, to the podcast. So I just wanted to let you know that, buddy. We appreciate it from here. Chicken chame.

Well, thank you. Thank you very much for that call, pavement ponder out there. And, you know, I figure, you know, laughter's good for the soul, laughter's good for your health, and that's kind of what I try to deliver here. But also, I figure if there's a practical, technical way that you can look at your health and do good for yourself,

why not mention it, right? Why not mention it? And I figure if I talk about it, maybe it'll inspire someone else to do it. And by the way, if any of you do it, and you do find something that was done, dangerous or scary, and by doing this, by being inspired by this podcast, you were able to stave off or prevent something or, you know, work on something that otherwise you didn't know about.

I want to hear about it, man, because that'll make me even happier. You know, it's one thing to make you laugh, but man, can you imagine if this silly podcast actually helped save a life? Oh man Whoa I mean I just might have to call it the Harlan 911 highway right But oh Rogers tell him we

We have another call Yeah what was that guy talking about the Chinese guy Yeah he said at the beginning of his Okay play the call Roger It's the Chinese guy Okay let's hear what he has to say Hey honey hey now you're dietitian Is that what you say

You say you're dietitian now Holland You want no dietation? You're a comedian. All you got to do, you want to keep your cholesterol down. You go to Charlie Lee, moon glow restaurant. That's where you go eat, Holland.

You'll be okay if you eat there. All right? You just go Charlie Lee. I had my cousin, Charlie. I take your chicken chamee, huh? Yeah. You know, that's not a bad idea. I mean, here I'm giving suggestions,

and here this, this, clearly this Asian gentleman called it. and suggested I go for some Chinese food, and that makes perfect sense. I mean, Chinese food, lots of vegetables, you know, cooked in the wok, not a lot of, you know, fried or oil, like some nice brown rice,

some high-protein shrimp, you know? Yes, as long as I stay away from the fried shrimp and the, you know, the fried chicken balls, everything else, you know, Chinese food can be very healthy. That's great. So, Roger, play a little commercial, and I'm going to head over to Charlie Lee's Moonglow restaurant. What a brilliant idea.

Thank you, my Asian, my clearly, clearly 100% Asian listener. Thank you for your Asian call. And Roger, hit a commercial, and I'm going to jump over to Charlie Lee's Moonglow Restaurant and Tavern just off exit 57 down the Harland Highway here. Thank you for calling. Wonderful. Fresh is. A walk through the woods on an early spring morning.

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Delicious Chinese food. Charlie? I don't see him around. Charlie, are you here? Oh, there he is. Hey Charlie, how are you? Oh, doing pretty good, funny guy. How are you? Well, I'm doing good. I'm here for a lunch. I, uh, you know, have you got anything that's kind of, Oh, don't tell me, you want something that low calorie, right, fat fuck? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, yes, I do want something, you know, low calorie, but don't call me a fat fuck. Well, why wouldn't I call you fat fuck? Look at you funny guy.

You fat fuck. You fat fucky. I'm not a fat fucky. Well, you look at you. You're very big. You look overweight. Maybe something wrong. You've been eating a rot of junk food.

No, I haven't been I'm not a fat fuck I said fat fucky I'm not a fat fucky Now I'm here to have some Some nice you know Some nice food maybe some Lowcalfe some stir fried

You know Vegetables Some bean sprouts Oh I fix you up jellybelly Don't call me that Maybe you like a jumbo shrimp funny guy Jumbo shrimp Why? Because look at you, you jumbo. Holy frock!

You like, let me get you a lawn chair to put your fat ass in, a funny guy? Look, I didn't come here to be insulted. I came here to eat. Oh, how about we get you lettuce wrap? A lettuce wrap? Why? Because look like with your big mouth, you wrap around anything, right? Funny guy? Holy, fat fucky. I'm not a... Stop calling me fat fucky. And I'm not eating jumbo shrimps.

Well, you sure, because you're jumbo. Holy frock, you look like a whale shark swimming around the Great Barrier Reef. Why don't you just eat a whole fucking school of shrimp fat fucky? I'm not... stop! I'm not a whale shark and I'm not fat fucky. Well, you sure look big chubby chub. I'm not chubby chub.

Well, okay, listen, you sit over here and I give you a dynamite rokey all. Dynamite roll? Yeah, because you're blowing up fat fucking chub fuck. Okay, you know what? I'm not gonna eat here if you're gonna like insult me. No, I don't know if you were listening to the podcast, but yes, there was a recommendation that I, I trim a few pounds, okay? Yeah, I'll say, trim, hoary frock. How about you get a fucking electric carving knife and cut your fucking legs off, Chucky fuck. I'm not a Chucky fuck. Stop calling me names. Oh, maybe you like a one-ton soup, huh? But I take all the wanton out and you just drink hot water. Why would I do that? Well, because if you're drinking hot water, you're not eating anything, funny guy. And we don't want fat fucky to get Jerry Brerry. I don't have Jerry Brerry. And I'm not a fat fucky. Now, come on. Can you whip me up something in the walk?

Oh, okay, let's see. Oh, here's something's a low calorie. Okay, what is it? It's called air. What? Air, oxygen. Here, let me grab some and sizzle it up. Oh, there we go.

Oh, look at that. There's nothing in that walk. That's exactly right. I'm looking out for you. Fuck fat. I'm not fucked fat. You know what? But come up with something that's good for me to eat or I'm out of here.

Oh, yeah, you ever hear this story? Chubby Chubby, two by four, couldn't get through the bathroom door? Yes? I'm surprised you got through my front door, fat, fucky. Stop! I'm not... But your last chance, Lee. Oh, don't y'all at me in my own restaurant, funny guy.

I put terriaki all over your face and turn you into a terriacchi snow angel. That made no sense. sense at all. A terriaki Snow Angel. Damn right. It's my restaurant. I do whatever I want at the moon grow. Well, you're not putting terriacchi on my face. I'll tell you what.

Why don't I make you a special? Okay. Have you heard of dinner number one? Yes. How about dinner number two? Yes? Well, how about dinner number 5,369? Because you're so fucking fat. You could eat all of that

Shit! Stop it! I'm out of here, Lee. Good, get the fuck out. You're scaring my other customers. You're blocking all the light with you're fat. I'm not blocking. I'm not that... I'm like eight pounds overweight. Holy frock. Holy Mount Kilimanjaro, funny fat guy. I'm not funny... I'm out of here, Lee. Okay, chubby. Watch how you don't get hit by a truck walking across the street. You don't want to hurt the truck. Shut up! Fuck you, Lee. Oh, get out of here, fucky guy. Chubby, fucky. Chubby Jerryberry, jumbo shrimp, fucky. Shut up, I'm out of here. God! Oh, God! Going back to the studio. What a knob. What an insensitive knob. I'm like six pounds overweight. Forget it. See you back at the studio. Ass.

You get out of it. Why don't you roll all the way home, Chubby? You grab your ankle and just roll into a big fat ball of blubber and roll home like a big fat fucking boring ball. Rice, oh, ruby, the sand prince in your tree. You're such a fuck-ass. What? Please.

Did you just call me a fuck-ass? Elizabeth, that's enough. You can go suck. a fuck. Oh, please tell me, Elizabeth. How exactly does one suck a fuck? You want me to tell you? Please tell me.

We will not have this at the dinner table. Stop. Yes, stop. Stop, we must. Oh, God, after that, a verbal lashing, that verbal abuse from Charlie Lee. Good Lord. I'm telling you, I'm not a fatty. I've got to like that little extra little layer on my little tum.

jeez so there you go there's there's the today's podcast um and uh you know so some good news from from the uh the lifeline screening everything's like 95% in order and uh and so uh there you go take it for what it's worth uh let's do some fun announcements hey conan o'brians tonight, man? Oh, yeah. Yeah, tonight. If you're, if you're listening, this is Thursday. Thursday, April 13th. Yours truly on Conan O'Brien tonight, yucking it up. You'll see how fat I am. I'll be on national TV. Would I go on national TV? Fat? No, but I'd go maybe a few pounds overweight. Just kidding. Also, Adam Carolla.

Adam Carolla's amazing podcast. I mean, Adam's like the king of podcast. He gets like, he gets like 350,000 listeners per episode. I think I get three. But that's okay. I keep on grinding. I keep on going. We do it all for you.

So I think the Carolla episode will either play tomorrow. I'm taping it on Thursday today, but it might not play till tomorrow. Sometimes he plays them a day late. So it's either today or tomorrow, Adam Carolla's podcast. I'll be on with him. Conan O'Brien tonight. Tomorrow morning I'll be on KTLA News in Los Angeles,

I think at about 7.30, 7.45 a.m. And what am I doing? Well, I'm promoting my new Disney show, Puppy Dog Pals. Yeah. Amazing, beautiful animation. It looks great. It's fun. It's silly.

It's cute. It's two little puppies, bingo and roly. They go on these adventures all over the world. And I think you're going to like it, man. It's really, really fun and sweet. I'm very proud of it. It's debuting on Friday, Friday the 14th. at 10.30 a.m.

And I think they're doing it on the Friday because there's a lot of kids that are going to be at home because it's Good Friday. So what a great day to debut Puppy Dog Pals. Good Friday. That's kind of like good energy. When you debut something on a day that's labeled good, that's good. That's good stuff.

So please check out Puppy Dog. Pals, if you have kids, it's a great show for kids. And what's really fun about it is it's one of these shows. It's not like kind of like condescending and like, okay, kids, today we're going to go and visit Mr. Duckling. And we're going to, it's not like that. It's kind of like each episode is like a fun little movie. So it's a half hour show with two episodes per show.

So two 11 minute shows, adventures. and it's really beautiful. It looks like Pixar Animation. And we have a great cast. And there's comedy and heart and songs. And it's really, I feel like it's come out very enchanting and cute and very heartfelt. And my hat's off to Disney and all our crew and our writers and our cast and everybody behind the scenes, everybody involved. It's been a labor of love six years in the making for this show, Puppy Dog Pals.

And if you can't get to your TV, guess what Puppy Dog Pals will be on the Disney Jr. app? I know you're adults, most of you listening, but if you have kids, or if you're just curious and you want to see what the show looks like and you don't want to sit around the TV or you can't remember to DVR it, there's actually an app, a Disney Junior. app, which is free, and they're going to be airing the first few episodes in their entirety on the Disney Jr. app. I just downloaded it. It seems weird for a full-grown man with no kids to be downloading the Disney Jr. app, but in a way, I do have kids. I kind of gave birth to Bingo and Roli the two pugs that are the stars of puppy dog pals. And as far as the show goes, I also do a voice on the show, just FYI.

The two pugs, Bingo and Roli, have an owner. Their master is Bob. They live at Bob's house, and they are Bob's puppies, and I do the voice of Bob. So if you want to catch some of my fancy voice work, I do the voice of Bob on puppy dog pals. So I hope you enjoy it. Please let your friends know about it. If you have friends with children, if you have friends with kids from, like, two to ten years. years old, please notify them.

Alert them to puppy dog pals, man. I think you're really going to love it. And if you do have kids, I'd love to get your feedback. Please call in or write me and let me know your reaction to puppy dog pals. And what else can I tell you, man? Let's see. Don't forget to get our app, our free app while you're getting the Disney Jr. your app. Make sure you get the Harland Highway app and your app store on your phone.

Just type in the Harland Highway. Boom. You're in. And if you're wondering how you can get all the episodes of the Harland Highway almost coming up on 900. Unbelievable. Just become a premium member. With the app, you get the most current 50 episodes, which is great, all free. but if you want to get the whole library of every episode I've ever done, starting at number one, the premium membership is only $20 a year. And with that comes some bonus material, bonus stand-up comedy, bonus interviews, bonus whatever, whatever I'm in the mood for. So every now and then I drop some bonus material for you guys. And that's a lot of fun.

So 20 bucks here You can join The Premium Membership at my website Harlandwilliams.com And check it out Yes, yes, yes Also check out my new My new CD with my cousin Kevin

From the Bare Naked Ladies We have a band called The Cousins And we just dropped a brand new Digital LP that's in the iTunes store it's called Rattlesnake Love and we're getting some really great reviews from people and from magazines and stuff like that so really good reaction to our album

you can get it at iTunes Rattlesnake Love the Cousins and if you're not sure you want to buy it you can, you know how with iTunes you can go and actually listen to a sample of each song so there's like 11 songs and you can listen to like 30 seconds and see if there's anything you like there hopefully you'll pick up Rattlesnake Love and enjoy that.

Also, if you want to call me and leave your own messages about the show or any of the shows or anything at all, 323-739-4330, 3-3-9-43-3-3-3-3-3. Also, you can write me at harlomwiliams.com. Yes, you can. Just click on the contact link and you can write me. and also if you want to hear more about our band the cousins we have a website

the cousins band.com where you can look at pictures and videos and listen to music and all kinds of cool stuff the cousinsband.com and I think that's it man I think that's it hopefully you'll check me out on Conan and there you go as far as stand-up comedy I'm going to be at comics

at the Mohican Casino, just outside of Connecticut. That's going to be April 20th to the 22nd. Yes, yes, yes. That's going to be a ton of fun. And what else? Vancouver, May 11th, May 11th to the 13th. I'll be at the Vancouver, British Columbia, Yuck, yucks.

Loads of fun. And then starting in June, June 1st to June 4th, they'll be in Tampa, Florida at the improv. Oh, my God, I'm everywhere. June 15th, the Brea Improv in Los Angeles, just outside of L.A. The Brea Improv, June 15th to 17th. So much fun stuff. So there you go. I hope you enjoyed today's show.

and uh you know keep on smiling and until next time oh i'm yawning and stretching while i do this chicken chameen baby stop calling me fat fucky