The Harland Highway - 874 - CAMPFIRE TIMMY sings songs. U.K. Terror bombing. Question of the day.

Episode Date: June 1, 2017

Campfire Timmy kicks off summer with his stupid campfire songs. Question of the day. U.K. Terror bombing aftermath. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, mercy, mercy, mercy, mercy, mercy, mercy. What a show we have today. First of all, this is not a good part of the show. We are getting close to summer, and guess who's coming into the studio? Camp Fire Timmy. I just cannot stand this kid, but his boss owns the podcast, so he has to come in and he sings his campfire songs. Real pain in the ass, so Camp Fire Timmy will be in.

then also we have the Harland Highway question of the day where it has something to do with all of us being cheap asses. Are you a cheap ass? Are you a cheap skate? Well, we're going to find out because the question of the day will, you know, make you have to answer. Also, a very serious part of the show, towards the end, I'm going to discuss the.

The Terrorist Act that happened at the Ariana Grande concert in the United Kingdom just recently. And I'm going to comment about the aftermath and how frustrated and disgusted I am with the way we are handling terrorism, not only in the United Kingdom, but in the United States around the world. And we're going to take some phone calls from you, the pavement pounders. So settle in. Here we go. It's going to be a good one. The Harland Highway. Sit down, strap in, and tighten your diaper.

Come here, baby. You're about to go down the Harlan Highway. No! No! I didn't bargain for this. Oh, yes, you did. Chick-chic-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chall-main, baby. I'm the creature from all the spayy.

Please don't stop. I got to be an ugly thing. Magnificent performance. This is the Harland Highway. I hate you. Well, that's the way it goes. What do you say? We get down to business.

The Harland Highway. All right, here it is, and I'm almost embarrassed to ask it. Oh, God, because I feel like such a cheap wad. I feel like such a miser. I feel like such a, ugh, like. But am I? Am I a miser? Am I a cheap ass if I do this?

And here it comes, the question of the day, I'm guessing you probably do this too. When you go to a restaurant, a Chipotle or a McDonald's, or a Burger King, any place where they have the self-serve soft drinks, right? Remember they used to pour your pop for you or your sodas, people say? I still call it pop, thank you. Remember you used to go to McDonald's and they pour your pop for you and hand it to you? But now, to save time and money and effort, they just hand you an empty cup, right?

And so you get your food, you wander over to the pop machine. and you press the thing and you get the ice and then you got your ice and then the pop comes flowing down but because it comes down so fast and abruptly there's always like a layer of foam there's that pop foam

that consumes the top quarter of your cup and do you do this this is where it gets I feel so cheap I almost I almost start looking around to see if anyone's watching. Do you wait for the pop foam, the soda foam to settle? Do you wait for it to like go back down into the drink, get reabsorbed into your drink, and then you stick your pop in there and you top it off?

Right? You know there's like two more, two or three more mouthfuls of pop to be gained. if you let that foamy layer like subside and then I could get three more sips out of this. Or do you just grab your lid and pop it and drop it and just leave? And I hate to say it. I don't know why I hate to say it. I paid for the damn stuff. I'm a consumer.

I paid for the empty cup. I certainly have the right. I've bought the right to fill it right to the brim if I want. But because of the nature of pop machines, you always get this settling, and then you have the, you know, a little, like the top third of your cup is empty. And you go back and fill it. And I don't know why. Maybe it's just me.

I feel guilty. I feel weird. I kind of look. I go, I hope no one's watching me be a cheap ass. Look at the cheap. cap ass topping off his drink. What, you need another mouthful, you a little cheap wad? Yeah, look at that guy. His glass was almost full, but look at he, he's just tapping the thing. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Look, he must have tapped it six times just to level it off at the top.

What a cheap ass, man. Fucking cheap ass! Why don't you stick your head under it and drink, dude? So I don't know. Look, you know, the worst thing in the world is when you go buy a pizza slice or you go buy a burger, you go buy Chipotle or something. And the worst thing in the world is when you're like just finishing your meal and you're like, oh, good, I can wash it down. I got another couple of mouthful of tangy, zesty Coke. Wait, wait, wait, I'm down to the ice. Where's the Coke? Oh, damn it, I should have topped my cup off.

God, oh, why didn't I top my cup off? Why did those people have to be watching me, and I got self-conscious, and I didn't top my cup off? Now I'm, how am I going to wash this Chipotle down my esophagus? So even though I feel guilty and cheap, I do it anyways. Because I love my Coke. I love the taste. I don't want to be deprived.

I paid for the damn stuff. Screw you. Screw you and your guilty looks of shame. Let ye who is without topping off their cup throw the first ice cube. So there you go. That's my question from me to you. Do you top off your cup with pop

when you're out at a restaurant? Not the Harland Highway, question of the day. The Harland Highway, question of the day. Wait, wait, what, Roger, is there someone here? I just heard someone knocking it. Who the hell? What, come in, come in. Hi.

Oh, come on. What's that supposed to mean? What are you doing here, kid? Oh, hello. Hello, olive oil head, it's almost summer. Don't call me, see, what, right out of the gate you call me a name, Camp Fire, Timmy. Well, your hair looks like it's been marinating an olive oil. You ever hear a shampoo, cluster fuck?

Stop, hey, watch your language, kid. Why don't you watch your gingivitis? I don't have ginger vitus. Well, what were you doing, eating a horse manure sandwich for lunch? Kid, what do you want? Um, hello. Oh, it's almost summer. It's time for my campfire song, stupid.

I'm not stupid, and I did not invite you here. Oh, well, maybe you didn't. But my father who owns your podcast, Mr. Featherstone, sure did. Oh, God. Roger, why didn't you tell me Campfire Timmy was coming in? What do you want? Well, I want to sing some of my Campfire songs. You have the worst campfire songs I've ever heard of me.

my life. And you've got the yellowest teeth I've ever seen in my life. What are you a yield sign? Kid? I'm not a yield sign. You look like one of the Simpsons except just your teeth. I don't have yellow teeth. I bet

you have a yellow pair of underwear, too, right in the front where you piss yourself. Kit, what are, why do you have to come and sing in my studio? Um, hello, because I want people to hear my summer campfire songs that I sing around the campfire. Kid, no offense, okay, but your lyrics, your songs,

they're really not the best I've ever heard. Oh, really? Yes, really. Well, you know what else isn't the best I've ever heard? What? Your mantis-slapping together when you walk. I don't have mantets. Well, I can hear them slapping together when you walk.

mother jugs in speed step you know what kid just to get you the hell out of here sing your damn songs it's about time yeah it is about time what's your first one called

hurry up take it easy i gotta get my guitar out and that's another thing where did you learn to play the guitar in an underground cave full of bats you know what just for that

what I'm gonna take my guitar out Take it out and hurry up Stop yelling Your bad breath is filling up the room And the ceiling fan spreading it all around I got your Hors shit breath all in my hair now

I don't have horseshit breath Well excuse me Dinosaur asshole breath You know what? Play your first song What's it called? It's a summer one It's called Sunset Over Lake Oganonon Lake Oganagi, where the hell is that?

It's in the woods. Where do you think most lakes are stupid? Sing your stupid song. What is it? Sunset over Lake Okanagi. Although I wish I could pull the blankets over your face because it... Shut up. Just play Sunset over Okanagi.

Okay. Oh, sunset. Over lake Okanagi Sunset Over lake Okanagi There goes a fish jump There goes a canoe There goes the loon

singing into the sunset Over Oh, God. Shut up. Her lake. Oh, God. Doggy. E, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, hurry up, kid.

Shut up. E, E, E, E. End it. Shut up, stupid. E! E! Lake O' Gondoggi. Good Lord.

That was the shittiest song I've ever heard. Yeah, well, your breath is the shittiest I ever smelt. What were you eating a dog park shit salad? You know what? Shut up, I want to do my next song. Hurry up, get it over with. Jesus, giving me a migraine. What's your next song, kid?

Um, it's a summer campfire song, that's what. Okay, so? And you chant it. What do you mean you chant it? It's like a chant song. Okay, chant it then. Okay. What's it called?

It's called Up and Down the Maple Tree Sap. Hurry up. Up and down the maple tree sap, up and down the maple tree Up and down, up and down, maple, maple tree, maple tree, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down the maple tree, up and down, up and down the maple tree. Open down the maple tree! Oh Christ! Shut up!

T-tree! Sap! Sap, right at the end. Yeah, sap. It's the gooey stuff that comes out of maple trees. Probably like the gooey stuff that's in your underpants. Would you shut up? One more song, God, I've got a headache.

One more campfire song, and you're out of here. Okay, here it is. I was up all night writing this one. Do it. I am. Hurry up. Here it is. One, two, three.

You used to call me on my... You used to call me on your cell phone. Oh, late at night when I was asleep. Yeah. Yeah. You used to call me on my cell phone. On my cell phone. Oh, come on, kid.

Quiet, I'm singing my new song. That's not your song. That's Drake. Why don't you go jumping and drink? You used to call me on my cell phone. And my blinger wing, jing, jing, ding-ling-ling, ding-ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You used to call me on my cell phone, my cell phone. Stop, that's not your song.

Shut up! Ever since I left the city, you used to call me on my cell phone, my little cell phone, I'd flip it open, and then you would call me on my cell phone. Stop, stop, that's not your damn... Shut up! You used to call it. Stop, it's not your song. Roger, stop. Get him out.

Stop. You used to call me. Hey, that was my new song, ass. That's not your song. It's Drake's. It's mine. Listen to my voice. You used to call me on your cell phone.

Stop. Get out, get out, get out, get out. Now. Up yours. Teradacto turned breath. Shut up and get out. Why don't you go suck a canoe paddle halfway up your ass pipe? Oh, get out!

Why don't you suck a canoe right down your throat and go on a canoe trip up your ass? Get out! God! Good God! I hate that kid. Roger, don't ever let him in again. That was not his song. He stole it just like he always does.

And the first two songs sounded like they were from an insane asylum. What the hell? What, he's back? Don't let him in. Hi, I just wanted to apologize. You did? You do? Yes.

And if you want to sit down and have a coffee and talk about it, well then you can, um... You used to call me on my cell phone. Call me on my cell phone. Get out! Get out! Get out, get out, get out, get out. Call me on my main line. Get out! Roger, turn off the dumb music.

Just call me late night when you need my love. Oh, get out! Hey everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes? Yes, the answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me.

And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your... privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adameneve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy, or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's

Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Hello? Hello? Hi, reading from Indiana. You know the state where everyone dreams of becoming vice president of the United States? Anyway, my name is Imelda, and I want to express my appreciation for your creativity and imagination.

I enjoy your work, your art, and your music, and I want to wish you the best with your latest endeavor, because cugs are awesome. A heartfelt thank you from a pavement ponder. Aw, Amelda, thank you. Thank you. What a wonderful, nice, beautiful heartwarming message. That just made my day. Thank you, Amelda, so very much for your kind words, your supportive words, your encouraging words.

Oh, my God, just beautiful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And as to your note about my latest endeavor with the Pugs, Amelda is talking about my Disney cartoon, the Puppie Dog Pals, which has been airing every Friday on the Disney Channel and Disney Jr. And it looks like we're doing really well. People are really loving it. Been getting amazing feedback.

It looks like the numbers are good. A lot of people are watching it. And we're just waiting in the balance here. We should find out any day if we're going to get a second season for the show. So hopefully we do. And we can bring more of the puppy dog pals to you and your kids. Well, it's really cool. I've been getting a lot of feedback from parents who watch the show with their kids,

and they're really liking it because the show's not condescending. It doesn't play down to kids or adults. And so parents are having just as much fun watching it as their children are. So even if you're an adult and you're like, I'm not going to watch a Saturday morning Disney cartoon. Well, I urge you to just maybe check out one episode and just take a look. And if nothing else, I'd love to hear your feedback.

But I think you'll be pleasantly surprised and find it cute and charming and, you know, kind of palatable as an adult because the stories are just kind of real and organic. And, you know, it's about these puppies going on adventures. It's not so much about learning life lessons. And, you know, today we're learning about sharing. And today we're learning about bullying.

And, you know, it's just fun entertainment. So check it out. And as to your love of pugs, I also want to give another plug to my next endeavor with Pugs. I will be doing my stand-up comedy special June 22nd in Irvine, California. Carmel Corn the Pug will be doing an hour-long stand-up comedy special. And Carmel Corn is my incarnation. He's a character I've created where I've decided to do my next stand-up comedy special in a mask, a pug mask, that looks incredible and is really funny on stage, and it's going to be so much fun. So if you are in the Orange County Irvine area of Southern California, we will be taping the special on June 22nd at the Irvine Improv.

All the information is available at my website, harlandwilliams.com. And I just got to say, before I go, you scared me a little bit of Melda, because when I first heard your message, your voice was very similar to Camp Fire Timmy's. I thought he'd come back in the studio. Hi. Greetings from Indiana. Wow, close call. It's just the first high you did.

The high, your voice went up, and I was like, oh, God, it's a little. campfire Timmy, now he's calling me on the phone. Ah, scary, scary moment, but thank God it was just you. Thanks again for the call. Hi, hi, hi, hi. Hello. Hello. Hey, Arlen.

Jeff, big fan of yours podcast, you and your podcast. Congratulations on your Disney show. I was just wondering whose pussy looks like Buddy Hackett. Whoa, whoops a daisy. Yikes. I certainly hope no one's, pardon my expression, pussy looks like Buddy Hackett. But those of you who don't know who Buddy Hackett is or was. He's deceased, but he was a comedy actor in the 50s and 60s and 70s.

I think he was in the original Disney Herbie the Love Bug. He was a little short, yummy guy. who had a crooked nose and little twisted lips and he had a little, you know, black hair and he talked like this. His name was Buddy Hackett. And he was a real character, this guy. Really distinct voice, and, you know,

he's just really likable and cute and charming. It looked like his face was all smushed up and sideways. So I don't know. I mean, again, forgive me, but if you ever see a pussy that looks like Buddy Hackett's face, it's probably squished up and sideways. So I've never seen one that looks like Buddy Hackett. And I've never heard one that talks like Buddy Hackett.

Oh, my goodness. Let's have sexual intercourse. I'm dying to have you inside me. Good Lord. Your phone call, your message is taking us down a very dark corner. I think the only way out of this is to actually hear. From Buddy Hackett himself, here's a clip of Buddy Hackett doing some stand-up comedy when he was still alive. And please, while you're listening, try not to picture a talking pussy.

This is a man, a short little chubby man with a cute little face with beady eyes and a crooked nose and a crooked mouth. Here he is, Buddy Hackett. But he does get a lot of young girls, which brings us back to the guy 80 and the girl 22, who fell in love with him and wanted to marry him. He said, I could not give you enough sexual action. I have the appetite, but not the equipment. She said, nowadays, they are installing metal pieces in the penis. He goes with her to the, what do you call that guy, a urologist,

and talks to him about having an implant, a penile implant, which means a stick in your dick. So the penile implanter said Not only do we have the little pump And also the rod We have a new thing now We take the trunk Of a baby elephant

And we transplant it onto the nerve endings Of your penis and that becomes erect and strong he said I wouldn't want that I couldn't have thought of having sex with an elephant's trunk with my beloved he said you'll never know the difference

once those nerve endings she says let's do it let's do it and they do it and they enjoy a little exploratory sex and finally they set a date to be married and at the prenuptial supper in her mother's house She is sitting next to him and she just can't take her hand. She zips down his flight and she starts touching the trunk.

And the trunk just comes out underneath there. And as dinner is served, the trunk reaches up, grabs a baked potato and goes back. Needless to say, many of the family stopped eating. It is very seldom that at a prenuptial dinner, a trunk dick reaches for a potato. And the mother said, I don't know what I saw. Could you do that again?

He said, I could, but I don't know if there's room in my ass for another potato. Oh, yeah, there he is. Buddy Hackett, stand-up comedian, actor. You know, he did a lot of fun stuff. I believe he's in the famous movie. It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world. I don't know if you've ever seen that movie. a great movie but yeah he was a real likable funny guy and just a little taste of some of his stand-up comedy

and not a little taste of his i'm not even going to say it um anyways uh i want to end the show on a bit of a more somber note and uh i've talked about this before but as you know we just had another terrorist bombing in the united kingdom a couple of weeks ago this this this this freaking moron kid, decided to blow up an Ariana Grande concert. And what's very startling to me and very sad and very confusing and mystifying is that the United States intelligence service, whether it was the police force or Scotland Yard or the spy service, whatever they have over there, I don't care if it was James Bond,

but it's been revealed that this kid was on their watch list. This kid had been tracked. This kid they knew went to Syria. They knew he went to Yemen. Apparently there had been reports of him flying a black flag out of his apartment window. Apparently he was, you know, involved in some strange activities. They said that bizarrely he was marching. up and down the street in front of his

apartment that he had been chanting quotes from the Muslim Bible the Koran that he had been saying some suspicious things to people and friends

and that apparently even people he knew I'm not sure if it was his parents or relatives or brothers and sisters but apparently there had been calls made to the authorities in the United Kingdom about his behavior. And it just mystifies me that all this information, all this data, in the world that we live in now, in the world that we live in where we know people are blowing people up and shooting people up and slashing throats and beheading and all this other horrific stuff

that Islamic terrorists are perpetrating that this guy was just allowed to continue to function in the everyday world and the reason I'm so amped up about it is that this isn't the first time we've heard this story I think if you track just about every single terrorist attack back to its roots, it seems to me that just about every one of these guys

from the Boston Marathon bombers to the people in San Bernardino, to the guy who did the nightclub thing in Orlando, to the guy in Fort Hood in Texas who shot up the military base and so on and so on, it seems like there's a paper trail right to their front door of all these tell-tale warning signs, all the implications,

all the things that they should be afraid of, all the things that normal people don't wake up and do every day. And on top of that, these are people that fit the profile, and I'm not saying racially profiling, I'm saying they fit the profile of someone who might have a tendency to commit a terrorist act. First of all, they're Muslim. They've stated out loud that they have radical tendencies.

They've had questionable trips to the Middle East. They've gone on social media and made statements about their dislike or their distaste for Western civilization and so on and so on. And time after time we hear after the fact, after they pick up the bodies, and in this case the children, after they scrape the children's guts off the floor, We find out that there was this wealth of information, this accumulation of knowledge, and it was completely ignored, completely bypassed. Nobody acted on it.

Everyone's so afraid of being politically correct. Everyone on the liberal side of politics is so worried about upsetting the rights of these fucking animals that they're slipping through the system. even think they're slipping through the system. I think they're just being given a pass because spineless politicians and are afraid to do anything. Law enforcement probably has their hands tied by said spineless politicians. Liberals and all the bleeding hearts who think that no one should be held accountable for anything and that the world should just be a big free melting pot and we should just trust everyone blindly and think the best of everyone and make

sure that no one's civil rights are trampled on should be the order of the day and be damned the safety, security, and well-being of innocent men, women, and children, hardworking, law-abiding citizens of you and you name the country here. Insert country here. How about we just say the whole planet. And so we cut to these press briefings, and we cut to these news stories after the fact where so much incriminating data was built up against this individual or individuals, completely ignored, overlooked, no preventative measures, no interception, and in some cases with the Boston Marathon bombers,

apparently they interviewed one of the Sermaya brothers or whatever the fuck their names are. I don't care if I get their names, right? I don't have any respect for those cockroach pieces of garbage. And these guys were interviewed a couple of times and let go. Well, when's the day going to come and we're like, you know what, I'm sorry. But if you have any affiliation at all to radical thinking, radical speak, radical thought, radical communication, radical displays of any kind, I'm sorry, we're going to lock you the fuck up.

Are you kidding me, man? When is the fucking world going to wake the fuck up, man? And is there a possibility that every now and then we may get someone that's not part of the mix? It's like, well, this guy went to Yemen and blah, blah, blah, and we've been watching him for a long time, and he's as innocent as pie. Well, yeah, that could happen. Maybe, you know, out of every 50 bad people we lock up, it's kind of like our jail system, unfortunately, maybe two of them weren't the guy. And maybe, you know, that sucks for them and it sucks for society. And maybe we have to weed them out after the fact and go,

whoops, we made a mistake. And maybe we could have a policy where we offer restoration. We give them a million dollars or something. And that's just part of the system because it's not a flawless system. But at what point are we going to start apprehending these walking billboards for terror that are almost putting up neon signs at their houses and going, hey, I'm the asshole that's going to kill your children next week. When are we going to be proactive and start removing these cockroaches from society,

locking them the fuck up, and asking questions later? And I know you're like, well, what if it's you? What if it was you that gets pulled in by the authorities? And what if they're wrong? And I'm like, well, what if it's me who's fucking three-year-old daughters spray-painted all over a fucking wall because the government wasn't doing its job

to protect me and my kids and my family? And I'll put that on you. What if it's your kid? But that the reality is that most of these people that the government has tabs on, that the government's been working, watching that the government has on a list

have ended up committing crimes of terror and murder and desolation. And it's inexcusable. How many more of these do we have to go through? If I hear one more fucking mass murder and I find out the authorities were onto this guy the whole time, but never fucking picked them up with insurmountable evidence, and a mountain full of clues and indicators that this guy was about to snap,

I'm going to snap. It's like, what do we got to do? Who do we got to hire to keep our community safe? And I don't like it that maybe a couple of people get swept in by accident. Fuck, no, I hate it. It makes me upset. It's sad, but, but, but, You know, this is a problem we didn't create.

And if there's people that fit the profile and are acting in a certain way, then they're just victims of horrible times and horrible circumstances. And like I said, hopefully we can spit them out the other side and realize, whoops a daisy, we made a mistake. Yes, we maybe cost you half a year of your life while you were incarcerated. Maybe two years, maybe three. but you know what I'm sorry this is the price we have to pay for the radical Islamic terrorists making our world this way and if a few people get swept up it's horrible it's it's

inconscionable it's it's it's like our prison system we don't like it but man it's just it's just it's just infuriating to know that that 22 children will never get a chance to grow up. We'll never get a chance to even go through puberty, most of them. Because the United Kingdom and all its special forces were too politically correct hand-tied to pick up a guy that was showing every single warning sign in the playbook to cause mayhem and death and carnage and damage. And shame on them, man.

Enough is enough. It's got to stop. And the recourse is people stand in front of a statue or on a street with a bunch of pink balloons and stuffed teddy bears, and they like candles. And at this point, you know what, it's a fucking insult. It's not even sweet anymore. It's not even sentimental.

A little stuffed teddy bear and a card and a candle and a balloon. Fuck that. People got to get angry, man. People should be standing out there with torches and pitchforks in front of the prime minister's fucking house. In front of the chief of police's house. They should be standing there saying, fucking do something, you assholes. Do something. Or we're going to burn this town down.

man that's the way she used to get done when things weren't going right people people people stood up and yelled and stomped their feet and and and threatened to march through town and turn it upside down but now it's like well another 300 people were blowed up by Islamic terrorists yeah who wants to go on a teddy bear and candle run let's go down to the Times Square and lights some candles and let's let some balloons go. Anybody got some white doves? It's just not working. It's not enough, man.

It's almost an insult to see it now to these slaughtered victims because they're worth a lot more than you just standing there weeping and praying. And that's all sentimental and good and it's heartfelt. We shouldn't obliterate that. but when is anyone going to get mad? When is anyone going to start demanding the government have a plan? When are people going to start demanding, instead of putting candles and fucking teddy bears on the street,

why don't they paint a big red fucking X on the door of the person that's acting like they're about to commit a terrorist act? Why don't people stand in front of that door and chant and just go, Get him! Get him! Get him! Terrorist! Terrorist! Terrorist! So that the police force is forced to come down and go, OK, we're taking this guy into custody. We're going to take a closer look. And yeah, I'm angry. You can hear it, my voice. I'm pissed, man.

Can you imagine those little children standing there listening to Ariana Grande sing and so full of life and bubbly and happy. And some kid who the government had all this information on just took their lives away. It's fucking maddening, and people need to get mad. Because guess what, gang? It's going to happen again. It's going to happen this year.

It's going to happen next year. It's going to happen the year after. When are we going to start circling the wagon? When are we going to start protecting our own? When are we going to start pointing out the bad ones? When is the government going to let us in on their little secrets so that if they're not going to do anything, we damn well can. My condolences to all those beautiful children and adults

and people that lost their lives, RIP, and I just hope this situation gets better. And there you go. We're letting it out, man. I'm angry about it. It makes me so upset. Makes me so mad. And I don't know.

I don't know how you start it. You know, in today's society, it's like if you raise your voice and get angry, suddenly you're the bad guy. You know, the press won't go after these, terrorists, the authorities won't go after these people who have made their intentions known. But if you raise your voice about it, the media is instantly ready to tear you down and call you a racist and unsympathetic and a Muslim hater and all that shit. Well, that ain't the case, man. I don't care if it's Muslims or Christians or Jews.

I don't care who the terrorist is. I'm not after a faith or a religion. I'm after the terrorist. I don't care who they are where are they from. If we know something about them, we should shut them down before they have a chance to do this. Disgusting. It's going to change. It has to. Or society's going to rise up and become just insane. Everyone's going to become animalistic. And I'm telling you, people can only be pushed so long. And then the mobs are going to take things into their own hands. You better believe. it. Neighborhoods are going to start banding together. And

that's when it gets ugly. That's when it can get racist and unruly and the innocent get hurt on both sides. Because the last thing you want is the good, decent people and the Muslim community from

having to suffer the residual effects of these Muslim terrorists. That ain't right or fair either, man. So somebody better do something because it's going to come to a head. Oh, and that's it. I'm leaving it right there.

Look at that. We went from Camp Fire Timmy to Buddy Hackett to me being outraged. But it felt good to get it out. And I just hope it changes soon. So there you go. I'm going to leave it right there. Something to think about. Woo!

Still makes me sad. I think we all carry the sadness. around. And what's really sad is we kind of forget about it quickly, and then there's another one. And then we're just getting too used to it. We're all getting too familiar with it. We're all making, it's becoming part of our lives. And that's what's really scary. It needs to be shut down. So there you go. Let's switch gears to something more fun. If you want some comedic relief, if you want to laugh, well, come see me tonight. I'll be in Tampa. of Florida at the Tampa Improv.

It'll be tonight. That's Thursday, June 1st, right through the weekend, Sunday, June 4th. It's going to be a blast. I won't get all political. I'm going to keep it light. Because, you know, we need to laugh, man. Just to ask Campfire Timmy. And then June 15th to the 18th.

I'll be back in California in Brea, which is a just east of Los Angeles, beautiful club there, the improv. I'll be in Brea, June 15th to the 18th. And then lastly, oh yes, my Carmel Corn the Pug stand-up comedy special. That's June 22nd at the Irvine Improv, beautiful 600-seat Theater, the Irvine Improv, June 22nd. So come on out, man. and watch Carmelcorn the Pug make you laugh.

That's one way to forget about all the tragedies in the world. Watching a dog do stand-up comedy? I hope that clears your mind. It'll be one night only, a real one-of-a-kind show, so I hope you can get there and enjoy it. Also, don't forget to get our free app on your cell phone. Just go to your app store and type in the Harlan Highway. You got it free.

The most current 50 episodes, free. Free means nothing. And if you want to get the whole library of almost 900 episodes of the Harland Highway, go and join our premium membership at Harlan Williams.com. $20 a year for 900 episodes. Are you kidding me? Bonus! And you can become a premium member for $20.

You get all the episodes plus some special materials. that I will do from time to time. What else? What else? Please tell your friends to get on the Harland Highway. Spread the word. And also, if you want to write to me at the Harland Highway, Harlemwilombs.com, just click on the contact link.

Or if you want to leave a voicemail, 323-739-43330. 3-2-3-739-43-30. We might play your voicemail on the show. Like we did today, we played a couple. buddy hackett's pussy yeah so say whatever you want think whatever you want and it's 323739 43330 the phone number is at harloweems dot com if you forget also you can buy your tickets for my comedy shows at harlewiliams dot com we also have a store where you can buy some fun merchandise we will mail it out to you and there you go

so come on everybody uh let's stand up for our civilization, and let's keep on smiling. And until next time, thank you for being here, and chicken. Chalmy, baby! It's the gooey stuff that comes out of maple trees. Probably like the gooey stuff that's in your underpants.