The Harland Highway - 90 KIRK FOX 3rd visit - Actor Comedian FUNNY MAN!

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

Kirk talks orgies, blow darts and exotic cars! Always insane and ridiculous!! FUN!! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

An orgy broke out. During your show. During my show. Full on, full nudity, full penetration. Intercourse, oral. Sexual intercourse? Yes. That's the best kind of intercourse.

I didn't stop. I realized I didn't want to act like it was my first orgy. Yeah. So I just kind of continued. Continued the bit. And it's hard to not stare. You bet it's hard at an orgy. Yes.

Oh, I became fully engorged pretty quick. Which means erectile. Yeah. You're like curious engorged. And I just continued? Right through the orgy. Right through the coming? I'll get to that

Well I You're riding down the Harland Highway All right hold tight On the Harland Highway Show Harland Williams

You said I can do what I want I know but when you come on a professional podcast like this you turn your ringer off Are we rolling yet? No Okay good sometimes you sneak it in To get the upper hand I don't even have the

on yet. Oh, man. There, there's the theme music. Now you know we're rolling. So we're on? We're on. Uh-huh. Well, now, Ades-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A.

You on the Hala-Haw-Wa-Paka. Das-Rat-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-Hala-Haw-A-Pa-P-K. I say stuff in Cajun now a lot because I have a huge Cajun audience. Nice. And Cajun is what city? That's the town of Cage, Nicholas Cage Town. Oh, he's got a town. He's got a town, yeah. Nice.

Nice. Bro Sepvosh, welcome. Good to be here, I think. I'm just taking it in, man. Yeah, take it slow. You always come in hot. Yeah, I come in hot, but what I say is, I say act like a J-cloth or a paper towel, just absorb. Okay, I'm taking it in. Yeah, don't get it.

I've been here before. yeah so it's familiar and yet it's always what's he up to yeah how how am i going to be used to make your life better i would say don't get hot but get tight and stay ripe yeah i don't want to be tight i just right i'd like to be loose what about right i'd like to breathe it in and just you know be present inhale it vulnerable inviting so you're talking just so my audience is clear because Now, is it your audience? Well, yeah, I pay them to watch. The cage, the cages.

Okay. Is Nicholas Cage Cajun, by the way? He might be. You'd have to ask him. I try not to speak for others. Because if the Amor-ish and become Amish, does Cage become John? Like, does he become Cajian? Or Cajish?

Cajish. Oh, so he's an Amish-Cajan. Yeah. Nicholas Cage Amious. I believe it. But that sounds Greek now. man that's a well it's all part of it i should have bought one of those baby name books to help sort it there's still time there is yeah but nick cage you you whatever your last name is i i think that could

kind of guide you yeah well you're foxish you're foxish or why you're foxy oh that's not bad instead of being omish you could be um he possibly now should we wrap it up or we're gonna go longer You want to stop already? Yeah, how long did you want to do? Well, we can end it right now. Okay, I felt it was good. You came in hot, you came in ripe and tight, and we did an hour podcast in like a minute 12.

Well, I thought I was loose. You're saying I was tight, but I was just here. No, but you were tight and ripe, like in a good way. Is tight ever good? Well, here's the thing. See, now we've drifted into the second podcast because we finish so quickly and we're so consistent. Did I come back?

You came back and now we're doing the next one. Did I repark it? Well, let me just put the theme music on. Let's get it right this time. Well, this is the second one. Leave Nick Cage out of it. Yeah, this is the second one. Am I paid for two?

You're paid for two. Okay. So, folks, this is rare. Welcome to the Halahawa podcast. It's rare you'll get two podcasts in one. But when Foxy comes to town and Foxy does the Foxy Fox dance, when Foxy does the fox trot, you're going to get a two for one. It's like the Human Torch meets Spider-Man, two-and-one comic, Man Thing meets the Flash,

two-and-one, when Digo meets the Wolverine. Like I'm talking to, do you collect comics? You get this glazed doxy-cott and look in your eyes. Right now? Yeah. I'm just letting you do what it is that you feel necessary. I know, but when I looked over your eyes were so glazed over, I thought I was looking at a lighthouse at the edge of the eyes.

at the edge of the world. That's just my eyes. I was just taking in your words. Okay. You were absorbing them, which is something we touched on in the last podcast. Now, when was that?

It was two minutes ago. That was a long time ago. It feels like a long time ago. But here's where you're getting on the Halahawapunker. Now, is that a new name for it? Well, I did. It used to be Harlan Highway.

Right, but now I'm doing it in Cajian. Okay. So that's Cajun? That's Halahua Punk. So words don't really connect. In Cajun? Well, they do to them, to them. And I do this because they eat a lot of shrimp.

These aren't air quotes. These are shrimp antenna. Those are tenetile? The Cajun. Tenetile. Yeah. Wow. You know, if you're going to come in here,

you're swearing and cussing, like an oil rig worker, like forget a guy. I grew up with shrimp. You did? I did. So you knew, you knew this was shrimp. Yeah, but we called him tenetile. My dad was a handyman-ish. Oh, a handyman-ish.

Yeah. So he built Barnes for the Amish? started to he rarely finished yeah they never the neighbors usually my dad was a handyman and he never brought work home with him oh was he quadriplegic no just the house was never finished well i figure if you're quadriplegic you're not gonna be a very good handy well it depends on what you're building that's true they work with their feet what if they build a mime house nothing wrong with that that could work it'd be easy to get out who needs hands for that if you're a mime without hands you're always in the Oh, yeah. I wonder if Mimes participated in Hands Across America.

Well, they did. They just didn't get far. Yeah, right, right. I'm still working on trying to find... Oh, what's wrong? Well, I'm just trying to be comfy. I know there's a camera there. Well, you know, here's what I would say to you.

You're going to tell me what to do? Well, no, I'm going to put into your head a suggestion, and it's sort of a philosophical... You want to low and point it up? No, what I was going to say to you, because I was going to say to you, because I was going to say to you, because I see you're tinkering, life is full of adjustments. I agree. It's a saying I learned it from a Buddhist monk. Life is constant adjustments and movement and flow.

So what you're doing, no one's bothered by it. Oh, I'm not either. I'm not either. I'm just trying to, I'm like a leaf in the stream. Okay. And the currents are moving me, but I'm not stuck. Are you moving upstream or downstream? I go whichever direction.

it'll change. It's based on wind. But right now, I feel good about it. Well, is it based on wind or current? Well, is there a difference? Well, the current comes from below, but the wind comes from above. But doesn't the wind change the current? Well, you got me and now I feel fucked over real hard. That's all right. But that's all part of the Hala Hawa Pocca. Again with the words. I don't speak Cajun. I know, but my audience is about 98% Cajun and I think 2% Eskimo. Okay. And which percent too? Well, do you want to hear the one I When I represent, it's what I'm going to talkatok, Hawaii. Okay, I've been there.

That's north of Anchorage. That's it. Yeah. I did a corporate event. Oh, wow. Up there in Juneau. Oh, God. And my first joke, it wasn't really a joke, it was more of an observation, and it got me

into trouble because I thought an Eskimo was a bipolar that went both ways. I thought that was a bipolar bear. Yeah. I tied it into the ice caps. So was it weird being in an Arctic environment in the middle of the summer? Not for me. Because you did say you were there in Juneau. Yes.

Okay. Was everything melting? It was starting to, but it got cold at night, and that's it. By the way, speaking of melting, and then we'll start the podcast in about 10, 20, 30 minutes here. This is just some small talk before we get going. I have nothing but time. Well, that's what the clockmaker said in. until everyone showed up at his funeral.

Our clock's real. Do they exist? Let me think about that for a minute. Give me a moment. Can we go back to bipolar for a second? Okay, okay, yeah. So it's not, is Eskimo a bad word? No.

So an Eskimo that goes both ways could be bipolar because of the ice caps. Or is Eskimo wrong? No, Eskimo is right. oh so right okay if someone could let us know later if eskimo is derogatory no it's oh so right and when i say oh so right remember back to the days when you used to do a lot of heavy petting in the back your dad Chevrolet yeah and the first time you ever grabbed the girls we didn't even have a cat it was just it was just petting oh just so it wasn't heavy yeah and it was a plymouth it was a 53 cam was it's named christine uh it could have been it went by chris i didn't know the official title

We didn't have a pink slip. Wow. I bet you didn't. The back of that thing was too dark. Yeah. But when you went for your first breast, and every boy does it, this isn't a pervy thing. Every boy, what's that called, first base? It is.

I mean, I had a training bra growing up. Oh, you were the one wearing it. And it was just so I could figure out how to open it quicker. Oh, wow. So it really was a training bra. Wow. Did you have the whip, too? I don't know what that means, but.

The whiff? No, the whip. Most trainers have a whip in case things get violent. Yeah. It should have. But here's my point that. Oh, there's a point. This is what's good.

Well, here's the thing. It moves this way. Well, yeah, see what I mean? This is wonderful how life's full of adjustments. Like a tree limb. But here's the point I was trying to make when every boy, and this isn't a bad thing, every boy and every girl, it sometimes goes to first base or does a fondle or a feel up, whatever.

I don't know what you called it in Cincinnati. where you grew up, but the girl would always say, is this right? And the boy's response was always, oh, it is oh, so right. Okay, I do like that. I also learned growing up that you can tell how much money a woman has spent on the bra by how long she lets you fumble with it. What? Talk to me.

Well, it's always, if you are really working the clasp, Too long. I like that word. She says, I got it. Because she doesn't want you to break the bra. Oh, is that it? So you'll really hear, I got it. And I don't even like opening bras because of lawsuits.

I just say, you put it on, take it off yourself. Yeah, you take it off yourself. But is it, they're worried about breakage, or they worried about we're so unable to do it quickly and efficiently that they get impatient and just go, let me do it. Dumbass? I think both. I think they're worried about time and also the value.

I like how you said both, and somehow that sort of parlayes into a pair, too, both. A pair of to Tonks. Like it's like, oh, Eskimo. Yes. To Tonks, yes. You learned that up in Anchorage? No, I don't know.

Next to Juno, there's a little place called you. Oh, you want a Juno? Yes. Wow, it must have been a great show. It's a great candy bar. Oh, delicious. Have you ever had a you know? I do, but I don't know.

Ah, they're great. They're all chocolate. They are? Possibly. God. Well, let's jump into the, let's hit the theme. Here's the theme music. Here we go, gang.

Have we even started? Well, this, we're starting right now. The first stuff, we did one whole podcast in record time. Yeah. And then we started the second one. We're still in it. Now, is this the Christmas theme? No, there's no Christmas.

Okay. This is going to play after Christmas. Sweet. so we can talk about post, boredom. Did somebody die? About to. What do you mean? I'll tell you about it.

Go ahead. Wait, no, this brings me to one of my questions. If you were in a workplace, like, let's say you worked in a warehouse. Now I have to use my imagination. I would never be in a workplace. Yeah. But if you were, you know, any type of scenario, workplace, post office, warehouse, wherever and you decided to take everyone out like you snapped you redlined yeah what's your method

how would you how would you go awall uh this is just me because i'm kind of a romantic right and this is all hypothetical maybe or shrimp pathetic uh that's fine uh gas you'd fart them to death i'd gas leak them and duct tape every oh oh like like like a gas a pipeline a pipeline I would do that. Wow. And if I had to, I'd light it. I'd burn them after. So why this?

This isn't something I've thought about, but. No, sure. But gas, seems to, a gas leak. That's what did Vitus gyrillitis. Really? He was eating a Greek dish? Yes. Wait, why the duct tape, though?

Just so no air can get out. I'm not duct taping my employees, but just sometimes there's cracks. Oh, you're duct taping the structure. The whole building. Because if the gas gets out, it becomes redundant. Yeah, you're not killing them. You're just wasting gas. You're making them sloppy.

Yeah. Then you don't get the work done. I want them out. You want them dead. Yeah. But was that the question? That was the question. I just wanted to see it.

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Dart. You would do one blow dart? I just, well, here's the thing of the beauty of a blow dart, and I learn this because when I do drive-byes, I do blow-darts. If you go out with some heat and you're like, go-g-g-g-go-g-dart's quiet. Everyone turns around. You only get one or two,

but when you drive through the hood and you're like, the sound, I mean, even that sound is, So you, it's sexy. Well, it seems more primitive. It feels more primitive, but it's more efficient because you're not drawing attention. It lets your spree go longer. Nice. One.

And I even. Is it always neck with the first blow dart? I go for the neck. And here's why I had a, I was mentored by a Cahalli. Now mentored, is that ER? Or or O-R, two different words. It's ER, mentored. Okay.

Yeah, with an E. Okay. But I, Kahali went Hagush. Okay, so you were in Hawaii. No, no, this was the tropical rainforest of the Amazon. I grew up there. You did? What street?

It was Bangalai 2. Oh, you're number 2? Yeah. I was at number 8. You taught tennis. But it mostly squeegee. I was teaching them how to squeegee. And my dad sold

Tupperware in the Brazilian rainforest. Gotta be hard to do that when there's no doors to knock on. Not only that, but they eat the fruit pretty quick. Yeah. Not a lot of storage, but... They don't really have refrigeration down there. I love the, I just love the rainforest. I love birds.

Oh, dude. I love jungle noises. I had an ex-girlfriend that called me kuker. She called me kuker. Kiker, kiker, kiker. Yeah. You love jungle noises. I'm trying to provide some for you.

And I'm giving you. the backdrop to the story. Okay, I'll let you talk and then I'll do the jungle noise. No, I'm done. Kuh-kuh-k-k-er. That's nice. Ooh, that's danger.

Someone's in danger. So you know how to interpret ape monkey calls. Yeah. So that was the call of danger? Yeah, the last one was, you started off. with sadness. Right. Correct?

You're right. And then you moved into danger. Who are you? Well, Kirk Fox, Kikur to some. Kikir Fox? The girl that called me Kikur reminded me of the Amazon. Maybe she just had a stutter. No, she just couldn't spell.

Hey, Kukkker Fox. We got kicked out of the apartment we lived in because the landlord thought it had a macaw. Oh, God. No pets allowed. What about Morris Code? Morse code in the time. Remember that guy?

Oh, yeah, Prince. I think it's really synch. But anyways, we bought Kakuntutti Bancacco from up in the rainforest. Yeah. And he mentored me in blow darting. And he said just always go for the neck. And it's the most because you. From you to propel it or to aim?

To aim because you go right into the corduroy. Because you also go, you start with the neck yourself. That's where the air. That's right. You're inhaling and you're like, boom right into that big pulsing uh what's that called the carteroid arteroid the juggler but isn't it there's also the carteroid yeah but i avoid the cardiler the what cardiler i barely know or

but this guy dude he taught me everything i needed to know about what i mean once you have the basics of blowing and aiming what else is there well i'll tell you this guy was good and one time he got hired to take out an east indian woman and she had the bindi if you've seen the bindi the little red how do you avoid that was that the target he couldn't resist and he was like right and it's like hitting a dartboard that's not going to kill her it's a hard bone behind the bindi bone i know but the bindi bone is you can there's no blood flow yeah you're right it's kind of right against the cranium. But you can't resist when you're a blowdark connoisseur.

When you see a dot. Yeah, you got to aim for that. Even with freckles. Oh, God. John Boy Walton. That'd be terrible if you're like in Scotland and a redhead you're supposed to take out with a blow dart. Oh, which one would you pick?

How do you know? God. I wanted to ask you because, you know, everything. Have we started this? Hang on. Let me hit the theme music. Hey, everyone. and welcome to the Holland Highway podcast.

And this is number three. We're doing three podcasts and one. This is the third. It's kind of like a nut roll. It's kind of like a granola roll. We just roll it up and we're on a third podcast within an hour. How's my hair, though? Too tight?

Should I open it up for this one? I don't know. It looks kind of slick Charlie Sheenish. Too much? No, I like it. But if you wanted to waft it or wiggle it or wave it out, it's up to you. I just feel it's the first, I feel the first two podcasts too tight.

It was a bit tight for the first two. Yeah. Why do we loosen it up for the third podcast? What can I do? Maybe I can adjust my hat a little, like loosen it up. You know, we had the same color hats, and I took it off to not offend. Oh, no, I'm not offended. Quero, Texas.

Queer old Texas. Queer old Texas. Yeah. I don't know if they had. I appreciate that. A co-op. This is where I get all my vegetables. Oh, really?

What's your favorite veggie these days? I like half a cucumber. Well, I don't want to know what happened to the other half. Well, it was a long story, but it's still there. Wow. Almost a pickle. Seedless? It might be now.

But what I wanted to ask you, buddy, is on our third podcast here, which is a record, by the way. Folks, you're not going to get this on the other. Joe Rogan experience, no. Crystal Gales podcast, Fun Shines, no. Barry Manelow's House of Pleasures, no. Three podcasts and one, and we're just getting going. Hey, I'm just happy to be here. This one does feel better.

This one feels looser. What I wanted to talk to you about, because you're one of my few friends that goes deep. Like, I find a lot of people can be very surfacy. And first of all, I want to address why, is that. Why are people surfacy or why do I enjoy depth? Well, I want to make that the back end of the question, but I want to explore. So we set up. They're surfacy because they're hiding. From what are they hiding? From themselves, feelings. They just don't want to go deep and find out

what made them who they are. But that would insinuate that maybe they're not happy or don't like who they are. Is that what you're saying? You're going to have to ask them. I'm just telling you, when people live on the surface, they're afraid to go deep. And it's because they don't like what's inside. Fear, they don't like what's inside. They're afraid what they'll find. Memories, guilt. Do you think the...

Murder. Do you think the average person, though, is surfacy? Like on a scale of one to ten or percentage-wise, are people more surfacy or more deep? Surface, man. Wow. Okay. Okay, now...

Don't you think the planet is surfacy? That's why when you see someone go deep, it's a shock. It's like, whoa. It is? I think so. So why, okay, now the other... Do you disagree that when someone's deep and honest, it's... Do you act like you've seen it all the time?

Or do you say, wow, that's nice to hear. It's nice to hear. That's why I want to... Vulnerability. But that's why I want to... That's the key to life. Vulnerability. If you're vulnerable, people respond.

It resonates. It does. Of course. How do we be vulnerable right here right now on the third podcast? Well, Harlan, let me just tell you as a friend. Okay. That I've been vulnerable since I got here. I live in the depth.

I haven't been hiding. I've answered every question. True. Honestly, I told you some truths. Right. But those are the obvious truth. Are they? But are you, is there a truth you're hiding?

Is there something that's underneath the surface that you're not? Keep going, man. Let's find out. Maybe that's up to you to decide if you haven't gotten enough. Is there pain, residual pain, from anything that happened to you in your childhood? I'm sure there might be. We could look for it. Well, this is why I'm asking.

Okay. What would you like to know? Is there a resounding moment, a pivotal moment where baby Kirky, there was a shift, a psychological shift born of something, a situation or words that someone said to you that you felt your world shift, the titanic plate? Man, I have to tell you, I think I've been this way out of the gate. I look back and I see so much of me now as a young child. I've always been an old man. An old soul? Just an old man, lazy, tired.

Even as a boy. Even as a boy. But I liked being alone. I used to go down to the tennis courts and just hit a. tennis ball against the wall for hours by myself. Did you have a racket? I did have a racket. It was a Garcia.

It was a Garcia tennis racket. Italian? I believe Spain, possibly. Well, we got it. They both talk funny. It was purchased, true. It was purchased a racket stringing workshop on Draper in La Jolla. They're good.

Which was across the street from Bobby Lee's house. Bobby Lee's. Bobby Lee grew up on Draper, I believe. And that's why anyone who knows Bobby Lee knows why he stinks like cat got. Well, I'm not sure. Does he have a scent? Well, he smells like tennis strings, yeah. Interesting. I just did a magnum PI. Really? I tried one of those condoms once and it kept falling off. Which end did you put it on?

The smelly one. Yeah. You got to go with the other side. nice to see you have it's so nice now just if you can see a harlan half it's so rare that he goes deep enough to break but he's implying that the condom he used was used well you said you used a magnum no i know and he was an investigator correct at least your condoms smelled like pineapple we have so much fun the four of us here the third podcast so far is the best should we just jump into the fourth and fuck the third uh let's stay on the third a little longer yeah just because it's nice to see you happy yeah but um me happy but bobby he smelled great in hawaii during magnum oh everyone smells great in hawaii yeah kind of like poe that's a that's a that's kind of a coconut dish poe i believe p o i'm not sure about the spelling because uh the last

or is it poise i don't know i don't either but anything that starts with the first three letters of poison, I'm a little apprehensive to ingest. A man who works in darts. Yeah, yeah. A man who does work in dart killing. Yeah. But just to finish up the last thought.

Yeah, about the depth. About the depth. I think I grew up kind of being a loner, hitting a tennis ball against a wall. Is there symbolism behind a young, scrappy, wiery boy who seeks out the asylum of hitting a fuzzy ball against the wall versus interacting with the group. Is there a symbolism?

Is there something we can take away from that? Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure there is. Maybe I like the sound. Maybe I liked just not having to talk. I'm quiet. But here's what's interesting. And you have me thinking about now my, my childhood, my youth.

We're getting deep. We're getting into the layers. My tennis lessons were paid for with bread. My mom baked bread every Sunday. And I would take a loaf of bread down to the Pacific Beach Recreation Center. Okay. And I would give this loaf of bread to a tennis instructor named Dave Rath. same name as the

same name as the manager famous Hollywood Hollywood Big Shot Dave Rath but that loaf of bread is what paid for my tennis lessons during the week when someone wouldn't show up Dave would let me

take a lesson with him for a loaf of bread yes and I often have thought that if we had included jam or salami I may have been better. You might have been, hit the pros,

had you handed him a full sandwich. Yes, I was just giving him a loaf of bread. Well, you know, the interesting thing here is there is a nickname for money. People say, hey, man, you got any bread. And so I think somewhere deep in your subconscious, you were thinking that that loaf of wonder bread was a legitimate currency.

I thought, I think it was. It did pay for it. But ever since then, I've, I've been a, I've been big on the barter system. Oh, God. I like to, I like to trade. Trade. Trade. So these are all things from my youth that possibly, you know, I've held on to.

But here's the last thing. Yeah, please, please. Because I have something I want to follow up on that. You said that's very important and revealing, but please, you remember it? I will. I will not. I will. Okay.

Dave Rath. Yes. The tennis pro, had a 1973 VW bug, a Volkswagen. Sure. And he took the passenger seat out. There we go. And he had a basket. Robbins?

No, no. A basket of tennis balls that he would put in there. Okay. And later in life, my dad had a Honda accord that he took the passenger seat out of. He put a little table in there that he would cut apple and cheese up on when he would go on long drives. He did not like to stop at a drive-thru. He thought he was a drive-thru. But one other famous gentleman, someone you might know, had a 73 VW bug also.

And he took the passenger seat out as well. So you couldn't see the bodies of the young female. So Dave Rath, my father, and Ted Bundy are the three gentlemen I know that took the passenger seats out of, you know, two VWs in a Honda. Does the third guy get the gentleman moniker, though? Was he really a gentleman? Ted Bundy was quite the gentleman. so he was not charming.

Good job. And then he would turn on you. But Ted Bundy could really coax a woman into his lair. And he would eventually kill them, bite them. That's how they caught him. He took the back seat out? Front seat. Oh, he took the front seat out.

The passenger seat out, like my dad and like Dave Rath, the tennis pro. So you kind of by association. intimidating that your dad and Dave Rath could have been serial killers? Who knows? You don't know a lot about your dad. I'll be honest with you. We don't really know who is and isn't a serial killer.

My dad had a lot of the, what is the word? A lot of the things that would lead me to believe he could have been. Attributes. Is that the word attributes? I believe it is. I think he also was a loner. Met my mom late in life. Wow.

So he worked at a bank? No, I had mentioned he was a handyman. Oh, okay. I think I was a loner, I thought, earlier paths with you. I think I explained that my dad was a special gentleman. Can I dip back into something you said? I didn't come here to talk. No, but I think we need to break down this solitude.

that you created for yourself, this sort of self-imposed isolation. And I wish I still had it. I have a family now and a child and boy. Here's how I think you can get this back. And this is why I'm glad we uncovered this burrito because we're peeling back the layers. We're getting below the surface like I had kind of thought we would.

I'm glad we are. You talked about hitting the tennis ball against the wall and something I've never heard anyone ever say before, you like the sound. And when you're standing alone and you hit a tennis ball against a wall and you're, let me recreate it.

No, it was more of a thump. It's my show, I think. But that's like a little golf ball click. Okay. Well, if you could do it for us. Well, I don't even, more of a... More of like a... No, that's a dart.

Okay. Well, that's something also little boys do. When they're around 14. Yeah. But that's kind of the pop. Okay. But I also remember now that when I was hitting the tennis ball against the wall, I was underneath kind of a ceiling, an overhang.

So, okay. That may have increased the echo. But it was at Pacific Beach Junior High where I would... Well, here's where I'm going with this. And forgive me for being an armchair psychologist right now. Please, use your arms where you can, my friend. Okay, I just want to help you sort of figure this out. Well, I don't need help.

I'm just happy to be here. I think maybe someone does. Sweet. Hopefully it's me. I'd love to leave here better than I was when I arrived. You will. You will. Ready?

When you hear that... the pentamic dynamiter, pentamic meter. Yes. The continual. Does that not sound a lot like inside the mother's womb hearing her heartbeat? Oh. And so what that did, you playing tennis in isolation, separating yourself from the pack. Yes.

You were returning to the womb. my friend. That, I think, is it. And that's why you were the only boy in class covered in placenta. Nothing wrong with that. And that's rice, correct? Placenta? It is a brown rice, a wild rice from the Mediterranean. Yes. So, yeah, I ate a lot of placentia. Well, you're welcome, by the way. Let me tell you something else. Harlan, right? Well, okay. Okay, Harland-ish. I was down in La Jolla a few weeks ago. I was doing some comedy telling some jokes okay here we go and i went for a walk oh you love chinese food i do uh and i walked over to the la hoya recreation center let me guess and i borrowed a tennis racket and i went and i hit against the wall and it was a wood it was a wood wall and it just felt right

and I hadn't done it in years, my friend. Back to the womb. Back to the womb. I think it's my happy place. Wow. He's hitting a tennis ball against a wall. And even in my house, I'm off of just swinging the racket.

I don't get out to play enough. Yeah. But I think I'm probably at the top of my game. Right now, I just don't have the energy or the strength. But I think I could. I'm just what I, listen, Listen, this is great shitter chat, but I'm just glad I could help you.

You could come in here and I could help you figure this out, resolve it. Not that it was a problem, but just maybe it gives you a little bit of, you know, helps you smooth out the rough edges from that tumultuous childhood where you were alone and hitting a ball and wondering why, why am I doing this? You were going back to the womb, placenta boy. I like it. And I still, I think it's.

It's where I'd like to live. Let me ask you this. Go ahead, man. I think I know the answer. To what? Something you're about to ask? Yes. Okay.

But I think I'm going to ask it. Super. I'm right here. I'm so ready for this. Go ahead, my friend. Let me adjust this because it seems like a question that's, whew. Well, being a placenta boy. Now, is it placenta or placentia?

which is a city. It's placenta. Well, that toe was a little aggression. Do you ever, on a Saturday night, you're home alone, just strip down, put relish all over your body and pretend you're covered in placenta and go back to the moon? Well, I do, but not relish. What is it?

It's more of a kind of a mustard. But a hot mustard. It's just a bite. Kind of a wake-up. great let's start the fourth podcast i'd like to get into there we go i should clean up a little yeah clean up you want to go do a tinkle or anything no i just fix your wig boy we learned a lot ladies and gentlemen welcome to the hall of highway podcast number four you don't get that on any other podcast this is a four and one we call this a bundle each one

i feel we've gotten deeper we've gotten deeper and uh and i'm going to Look at my thing because... Man, I feel... Oh, let, can we finish the deep thing up, even though this is bleeding over from the third podcast? Of course. Because as I said, when we started podcast number one about three hours ago, I said, this is one of my deepest guests.

Yeah. You're probably the deepest. I don't know what that means. Well, it just means you... I'm deeply superficial. You are? Yeah. But see, a deep person would say that to throw us off from recognizing

the multi-layered lasagna that you are. Sweet. And so I'd like to conclude our conversation about depth by asking. Boy, conclusion, I don't ever want to finish anything. Ooh, that's profound. Well, go ahead, though, but. Period. I just finished it.

Yeah. Through a period out of you. No, I can't go past a period. I don't like periods. Well, you should buy some tampons. Well, that too. but let me just tell you something as a friend. I don't like periods because I'll stop reading when I want.

Okay, yeah, I don't need a writer telling me, let's stop here and get ready for a capital letter. What kind of Nazi bullshit is that? Well, it's ego-based. Yeah, I'll finish a sentence when I want. Yeah, if I'm reading and I have a little momentum, The last thing I wanted to do is, stop. Oh, that thought, I just want to keep going.

And I don't like commas. Oh, yeah. They like speed bumps. Yeah. Just let me go. I'll decide when I've read enough. Exclamation points, don't yell at me. Yeah.

I'm doing the best I can. They tone it down, Jr. I'm reading. This is a library. I mean, I'm not a reader because of a terrible reading accident when I was I don't even want to get into it. Well, the worst one for me is the semicolon. And not because of grammar, but I had bowel cancer.

Ah. So you had... I have a semicolon. I know, but what does that mean? It's not fully coloned? It's, they took a lot of it out. Oof. Wow, that's a bite.

So do you not fully poop? Well, let's skip along, shall we? Let's go right to podcast five. Sweet. I mean, this is the most I've done. I don't do a lot of podcasts. Yeah, this is, I think, a record. I don't think this might be the most.

When I do a podcast, I like to do as many as I can. Well, then you don't have to keep coming back. You know, it's called economizing your time. I like those words. And that's what friends do. We look out for each other. I'll take it. Welcome to the Hall and Highway podcast.

Just spilling over from the first four. Okay. Do you have a deep thought you can share with our audience here? Do you have a deep thought that's something you sort of live by, a code or just a random deep thought since we're getting into the layers here because it's one thing for us to just talk about it. What is a deep thought? Just words that mean something? It might be words that the average person might not think about on a daily basis. It might be motivational. It might be spiritual. Here's one I do like. Okay. Is this yours? Yes. Okay. These are all mine. Okay.

I say, don't try to figure life out. Let it figure you out. Oh. That's pretty deep. Explain, please. I have no explanation. Just be who you are. That should be enough.

You don't need to figure anything out. Just be who you are. Let the world figure you out. You don't have to figure anything out. Anything. Why would you? Now, what if you're doing a jigsaw puzzle? Are you?

Fuck me tender in the night. Am I? Exactly. Exactly. It could be doing you. So I could be the mountain scene with the leopard. You're the puzzle. Let someone figure you out, try and put you together.

Here's another one that is interesting. Okay. And this might apply just to me. Okay. But I've worked hard to get, where I'm not. Wow. And that's just who I am,

because I have nothing, but I've, I work so hard at it. I have no money or family, really. I have a wife and a daughter, but what does that mean? But have you ever heard the term,

and this isn't mine, you are rich in personality. I've heard that. Am I? I think you are. I think anybody watching these last five podcasts would say, how do we get this guy to shut this off? Do I have to?

Well, you don't even know you're doing it. I also think this often. Okay. Killing can't even begin to describe what I do to time. It's a massacre. Killing time. Can't even begin to describe how I kill time. It's a massacre.

Like, I don't just kill time. I massacre it. You, like, Oppenheimer it. Why, though? See, I didn't want to have to... Exactly. I already did the tennis ball back to the womb thing. And for you to put on me, I'm trying to have a friendly conversation.

But I've never worked, so I've avoided a work-related death. Well. By not working. So, you'd... didn't really blow a dart, but I felt something come at me. You reacted. That's who I am. That's the power of my mime.

I learned this. I went to a mime school up at DeVry. And your professor, no hands. No hands. Just nubs. Okay, I like those. I like those deep, like kind of things. I have one where my motto is, it's similar to yours.

Okay. strangely enough live life don't let life live you exactly i i love that also i think they can all tie into uh i think they're all the same just don't give a fuck have you heard that one what is it don't give a fuck i tried to live by that one but uh holy god i ended up down at a horror house one and it just didn't work. Where was this? Down on Melrose, Larry's whorehouse. I know.

All you can plow for $40. That's not bad. Yeah. I mean, Larry's in there also, right? Oh, God. He runs the buffet. He's always like the fifth. Oh, here's something I want to talk about to you.

Okay. How's the hair? Well, I'd give it one more pass. Rub your hands through it one more time. Can I just tell you one thing before you go on? Yeah. And this means a lot to me. Okay.

That's why we're friends. I'd say a week ago, I went to trim my mustache. A week ago, five days or the full seven? Like a working man's week? Five. So a working man's week. And you're a guy who said he doesn't have a job. I went to trim my mustache.

Okay. I thought it was at an eight. It was at a two. Oh, the electric blade thing. Okay. And it took it from a full mustache of happiness down. Down to it too. And it's begun to come back.

Yeah. It'll be here soon. But I'm just, for me to go out like this with, without. You are the victim of what we call an involuntary stubble. Wow. You wanted an eight. You only wanted to bring it down so far. I just don't know.

I wanted to balance it. it out. Were you, what was distracting you that you didn't take note that you were down on the level two versus the eight? I had been going back and forth. Sleepless nights? No, my wife, I was trying to get the right look for an audition. I was going to do a self-tape.

I wanted to take down all the gray because I'm a young man. Well. Somehow the gray gives me age. And I just didn't need that much age. So I just wanted the mustache. But sure enough, took it down too low. But I'm still handsome. You're really handsome.

I think it works. The eyes pop and long eyelashes, you know, green eyes. Your eyes, are they green? Oh, they're probably the greenest green probably ever. I can't tell from either green or bullshit, one of the other. Well, they're a strong green. Well, it might be strong. Bullshit, too.

That was that you or my eyes? That was your eyes. Interesting. Dude, your eyes. They speak. Wow. But look how the people are, I don't know if you, because you control the edit,

so I don't know if you're here right now. Dude, if you need a moment to seduce my crowd with your eyes, do it. I'll sit sit down. No, I'm not going to do that because I can't. Seduce away. Did you hear my stomach? That was your stomach?

I thought that was your eyes speaking again. No, my stomach got involved. You know, the seduction is just being present, open, vulnerable. Wow. They've learned about tennis and my dad and what I'm capable of. We talked about... You know, I come from a long line. Oh, really?

Suicidal family? Just a long line. It was just... Oh, I pictured a bunch of people hanging from a tree. Oh, eventually. But that's just, you see how the gas works. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, go ahead. I went back to them. That was a quickie go. Oh, that was enough. It really was. Like, I'm sitting here. I know you. I'm not into man.

And I felt a little like jolt go through me. Well, I can come in hard. Yeah, you do have those seductive fucking eyes. Can I, okay, you had a big, go ahead. You had a big question. I do, but I saw. A light bulb go off, and I need to hear this. This happened just recently.

Okay. And I just want to run it by you. Let's get it out. Get it out. And see how you would have reacted? This is, we're bouncing. We're bouncing. I'm going to say that, like, I tell, you know, if they're jokes, whatever I do on stage.

Stand-up comedy. But whatever it is, I don't know if it's jokes or just I try and connect or I'm just killing time. I don't know, but it's kind of jazzy. Sometimes I tell jokes you can nod out to. Yeah, like if I look out there and see someone sleeping, I'll be like, I got them. You got, you nailed them. Yeah, I get what you're doing, yeah.

It's niche, but it's good. Yeah, they get home. It's like, how is it show? It's like, I don't know, but I feel rested. Relaxed. Yeah. Soothed. But I also tell jokes you can make love to. Wow.

Are you serious? And something happened a month ago that I haven't really talked about. Get it out. And I'm just going to run it by you. And I would like to know what you would have done in the situation. Bounce, bounce. So I was doing a corporate event. Can we say the corporation?

It was Ferrari. For who? Ferrari. Who's Ari? Well, Ferrari is a car. Oh, I thought you said it was Ferrari. I know. I believe F-E-R.

Well, F-E-R. you too. I'm just asking who Ari is. Okay. Ferrari. No thanks. I have one. Sweet. I like it. Oh, yeah. I haven't seen it. Should we start a new pod? Let's do a new one and then we'll pick up where here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, six. Number six. Welcome to the Halle Hawe Ponga number six or in German, sacks or in French, cease. So that's six, six, six. And hold on, he's pointing to me. No, the fact that you mentioned. sex it's going to tie into to our first topic for the sexed episode yes okay here we go this is all symbiotic kind of like your twisted sister's rotten teeth oh i like that i like that so uh parma oh my favorite cheese exactly and this is in italy i was at a corporate corporate corporate

corporate event i we have so much fun we just enjoy each other's company so parth John, yeah. Okay, corporate event for Ferrari. Ferrari, sure, now we know. And a villa, a big house, a lot of money. Oh, God, okay. And I was up there doing whatever it is, I do, there was a microphone, a little podium. Okay.

And in the middle of a story or just calling attention to a statue or something, An orgy broke out. During your show. During my show. So when I say I tell jokes you can make love to, I'm not kidding. I would say 50 people. That's 25 pairs. Yeah.

There was a few stragglers maybe. I'm just saying there may have been 50. Wow. I did not know if I caused it. I didn't know if it was planned, but an orgy broke out. Full on, full nudity, full penetration, intercourse, oral. Sexual intercourse? Yes.

That's the best kind of intercourse. I didn't stop. I realized I didn't want to act like it was my first orgy. Yeah. So I just kind of continued. Continued the bit. And it's hard to not stare. You bet it's hard at an orgy.

Yes. Oh, I became fully engorged pretty quick. Wow. Which means erectile. Yeah. You're like curious engorged. And I just continued. Right through the orgy.

Right through the coming? I'll get to that. Well. I got involved. Wow. I handed out water. Okay. I just, it was my first orgy of that size.

50. 50 is a big number. 50's a big. But I got involved with the water. I wanted to make a good impression for America. You walked through the orgy. Just kind of handing out water. Like a water boy.

So if someone looked thirsty. Yeah. And here's what I learned. And I didn't stay for the cleanup. Okay, good. I think when you have an orgy. Yeah. I think if you're the host.

I think if you're the host, I think the next day, I think the cleanup is like, oh, was it worth it? Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Okay. Now, here's what you do. You relax. Like a riptide. I let the current of the orgy drag me.

Like the leave floating on the river. It all ties. heart, the heartbeat of my mother, the tennis ball. I went out about a mile, and I swam diagonally along the orgy. Like a bishop. Yeah, and a knight, a pond. Well, they don't go diagonally. Only the bishop does.

They do, but you lose immediately, and that's what can happen in an orgy. Wow. So, well, this is just something I wanted to ask. Sure. If you've ever been caught up in an orgy? I have been caught up in an orgy. I wasn't on stage doing a bit. I was deeply, deeply involved in the orgy.

Organizer? No, more like organ grinder. I was going from person to person. So organ grinder, this is a coffee, was involved? No, I mean, my organ was, I mean, it was like. So you were grinding an organ? Yeah, and I was just hopping and hopping. Penetration or exterior grinded.

Sexual intercourse. Ours was probably about 150. Wow. And if you've ever seen a rabbit. That's a big number. Right. Picture a rabbit with rabies, epileptic, and hit by lightning. That's going in a lot of holes.

Wow. And is that one person? This was me. Yeah. I was servicing everyone at the orgy. Wow. But you asked. So the corporate event, they just brought you.

Oh, mine wasn't a corporate event. This was at the Los Angeles airport, Terminal 6. Wow. Unbelievable. Six tied into the German six episode. That's right. And this is what happens when you have flight delays. People get bored.

They get antsy. And there's a lot of space in those terminals. And I just, you know, grab the thing at the, you know, they get the little microphone. Attention passengers going to Minnesota five. 7.03, would you like to have a sexual archie? Where the luggage goes around? We did that later. We went down for the second round and then people would.

Because here's something. Okay. I don't mean to ever interrupt. No, but you did four times. I apologize. I like it. I like it. This is just exciting stuff.

It's like coitus interrupts. So if you could imagine, let's, let's cut your number in thirds, just 50 women. Okay. On the carousal. Well, we call it luggage rack, fuck. Okay. On the luggage rack. Yeah.

If there's 50 naked women on their knees and you're standing there waiting for your luggage, golf clubs or whatever you travel with. Yeah. And you're naked, which happens. That's for me. So if you're just standing there as the women come around the carousel with their tongue out and your penis out. how great would that be?

It'd be like a fan. Each one would just lick, like a tootsie roll. Is this something you've thought about? Here's where it got a little selfish. You know how you've heard that time you put notches on a headboard when you've had women? So as the women went around, I had them put their baggage tag around my thing. And I just, that's how I know. I had 60.

Got them home and counted them, 60. Wow. And a few were to Brazil. That's not bad. One to Greenland. I'll never forget that one. Oh, so they're environmental. Well, Greenland Fallatio is like no other.

For some reason, you can see their breath. It's moldy. You can see their breath. They're so used to. So that's crazy. So you've been doing orgy. But I like that idea of 50 naked women just on a kind of a conveyor belt of oral tongue work. Well, it's great is you can keep them organized because after they go by, you slam them into the suitcase.

and then you don't get repeats. We're different. I'd like the repeat. Well. Because whoever wins, whoever gets the ejaculatory, you know, maybe gets frequent flyer miles.

I don't know. Wait, so this happened on Halloween? Hmm. It may have started on Halloween. You said there was a jaculatory. Nice. That's sweet. Sometimes I laugh at just things that,

matter to you. But here's, let me just finish up. Yeah, finish up. Let me just finish your time. Take your time. We got all the time in the world. Do we?

Yeah. Do we want to do number seven or stay on six? We might do it. Depend, you're right at the edge. You probably have about two minutes left on this and then it'll probably drift into a seventh episode. Okay.

So I do comedy sometimes. Yeah. I told you about the orgy. By the way, can you tell us what the bit was you were doing? I don't even remember. I don't even remember. I think.

I think it was something food related. I do a lot of... Okay. It was a banana bread reference. Okay. Oh, no, not that again. Yeah, we'd rather be fucking... It's like, wait, didn't I see that?

Yeah. Banana bread last year. Saw that. Someone put it in me. Yeah. You know, I get it. But whatever it was, it was a strong, committed delivery. Got it.

To the point where everyone's like, banana bread. Hey. Again. Clothes flying off, oil everywhere. Banana breads, no, it wasn't banana bread. What's the cake that? Banana cake? Carat cake.

No, there's a certain cake that people pass around every year. Bunt cake? I don't know. But whatever it was, I was like, I went with banana cake. But now that I think about it, I think the joke didn't work. Because you didn't have the cake you pass around. What's the cake that? Falhalla bread?

No, there's no vampire involved. Mahal and Falls? Possibly. There was Niagara. But let me get back to... You were on Viagra? Yes. For sure.

They should make that, you know, something you could pop in your mouth. Yeah. The Viagra that you insert the pee. Yeah. Doesn't matter. That hurts. So I do shows all over the world and I do prisons now. Oh, wow.

Okay. And I did Pelican Bay shortly after that orgy. Okay. And the prisoners, good listeners, receptive, but no orgy broke out. In the prison? Yeah. Was it an all-male prison? Yes, but.

Good thing. It looked like it was on their mind. Yeah. They're hungry. Those guys are hungry. They don't want to be. I don't know if you've ever been in prison. It always looks like an orgy's close.

It's close. They want to, but they don't. want to step over that sexuality line yeah yeah but they don't have a lot of choice and so they're always like should i or shouldn't i yeah if you were in prison would you are you asking me yeah would you yeah the only reason i brought up the prison is now that now that i do comedy and orgies break out yeah as i'm in a prison i wonder if it's coming i probably will be yeah good point um just do me a favorite don't ever do a senior's home oh i will if they ask well you don't want to see an orgy there why not a lot of broken hips you ever you ever walk through a forest and it's

puff ball season i haven't but it's it seems like you step all over them and there's just little clouds now puff balls is that their hair wait the puff ball is that that little thing blow it no you squeeze it it it's like a form of fungus or mushroom and you squeeze it. And that's the elderly? The puff that like puffs up. Oh, yeah. That to me sounds just fun.

Romantic. Yeah, in a way. Oh, God. I have four super fans on Death Row. Talk to me. Well, I do in Mississippi. Yeah. I have four super fans.

You know, the best thing about having... Next month I'll be down to two. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll see how the appeal goes. But that's just... life well the great thing about having fans that are on death row is they can't go anywhere when they're strapped to an electric chair they kind of have to listen to your act and you just

with their eyes are like pull throw the switch throw the switch yeah by the way if you want to watch green mile later up at my house we'll go over to my place well we could i've got it on blue ray i ran a 5k recently i'm not going to do a green mile Whenever you do that, I'm just going to sit back. You're only human. I don't have the power. But death row is interesting. We usually talk about last meal.

Oh, yeah. Because we talk. They have my number. I always say, hey, man, Taco Tuesday. And they're like, that'd be great, but they're killing us on Thursday. Oh, right. Are they going to eat tacos for a whole day? They'd have to be the minis.

What's your last meal, though? What would it be? Man, your last supper. I got to be, uh, tacos, I'm a big fan. My mom used to make tacos, so I think my last meal would be tacos. My last supper, I'd just say I'll have what Jesus is having. That's nice. I don't know what he ate.

And who is Jesus? I'm not religious. It's the son of the Lord. It's the son of God, the almighty Holy Lamb, Savior, Holy Host. See, these are all things. Hey, Susie, is great Jesus. Holy Lamb, Holy Saint of the Savior, the Holy Lord, Son of Mary. They're a Cajun, Cajun gentlemen.

I guarantee, guarantee. Hi, hi, y'all. Hallelujah, hall, hallelujah, I guarantee. Buddy, yeah, are you ready for words from a wooden shoe? Wait, are we already done? Well, you know, we got deep. If it feels like it went fast, two things. We got deep.

Okay. And we did seven podcasts. Okay, can I tell you one thing that I wanted to? Okay, okay. before we get words from a wooden shoe now i believe in the past okay i have told you and i i'm sure i have because we're friends i yeah i have a daughter yes we do know this beautiful daughter and beautiful and we do know i'm old-fashioned i got married for land these are all things and i have a pea tree we've often talked about yeah the pea tree i like to pee on the tree and it's

It used to be avocado, now it's kind of more lemon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my daughter, you remember, she'd go, when I pee, she would pee also. Right, right. She would go to a mound, and I'd put her in the shoes with the flashing lights, because sometimes at night. Yeah, it's very tribal. There was a California condor that would swoop down, grabbed her once.

And I wanted to know where to tell the police what street. She was last seen on. But since I've seen you last. Okay. Oh, boy. And she would pee with me every time. This is passion. Every time I peed, she would go outside.

Father, daughter, pee. I'd pee on the tree. She'd pee on her mound. Yeah. Got it. And it was the best part of being a father. Yeah, was. I don't know if I like past tense here.

She has started Don't say it Using the bathroom God, they always do We now have nothing No more bond Nothing in common Have you thought about doing number two's together?

I haven't really thought too much about wiping her That's when politics get involved Well you are outside she can just use leaves she's not outside anymore she goes inside to pee but here's the thing and this might be the silver lining okay uh and i can find some consolation i believe is that the right wording where there's if it's nighttime constellation i believe that would be a tea well she still drink coffee when i look at the star i guess this is good news she still stands Like a man

To pee God She would pee When she peed outside She would always stand Strong calves Which confused me Well it's really just

Ant prevention is what that is That noise The ants And the walls Okay I just heard something But so I just wanted to let you know That Addison now Uses the bathroom

So we have nothing in common And there's just sadness here Can I make a suggestion I don't know for a way for you to bond? Somebody when they were a little boy hit a tennis ball all alone. What if that lonely little boy

now had a partner, a daughter, a lonely pea-sitting-down daughter, and you could hit the tennis ball back and forth to each other? And here's the irony in all this. Many tennis balls nowadays are piss yellow. And that's from me to you. Take it or leave it.

I'm just trying to keep the fan. family together. Man. Sometimes your brain through all the bullshit, through all the sadness, through all the comedy and levity

and the joy you bring to the world, you say something, you say something that hits me. Deep. So deep. and so hopeful because my dad never pissed on you. No, he did pee on me, but we never played tennis.

Maybe that's why I, maybe that's why I would just hit tennis balls alone because I was looking for my father. And now you have your own daughter. You made your own tennis partner with your own seed. You didn't want a daughter to go to the zoo with. You didn't want a daughter to take to Disneyland. You didn't want a daughter to read Curious George at night. You wanted a lousy, stinking tennis partner.

You went ahead and made one. God bless you, Chuckie Cheese. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean to call you. I don't know where that part came from. No, I'll take it. I answer to anything. Sorry.

Where there's eye contact and a dulcet tone. I know, but I didn't mean to call you an animatronic rat like Chuckie. I don't know. I don't. You say that, but I just heard Chucky Cheese and I felt the twinkle. You could call me anything. Well, do you want to seduce the current camera will you have that twinkle? Go ahead.

That he's good. Oh, holy fuck. Are you fucking kidding me right now? Dial it back. You know number two? Do you want me to call your daughter? This is a father-daughter moment. Dude, I'm going to be honest with you.

I did poop. I looked like it. It was sexy. ejaculated first you did the double it opened the canal you are so German Panama so okay the crowd no you know some of the crowd felt something pretty deep and now they see the tears because a man has made eye contact during an ejaculatory bowel movement those are rare what would be the moniker for that would that be a bowel EJBM, baby.

Vow jaculate? Like, how do you combine... Bo Horstman? How do you combine ejaculate and bowel movement? Bowel movement? Bowl. Hugh Jackman? I think Hugh Jackman.

Is it E. Jackman? I think it's Hugh Jackman. Because your underbrands probably look like the Wolverine went through him at this point. Ejacula bow. My favorite. for breakfast cereal. Have you tried Frankenberry? I'm going to need probably 20 minutes and half a sandwich to do it again.

Let's distract you with our final segment. Words from a wooden shoe with Kirkkakak, Kirk Fox. What we do, you know this. You reach in, pull out a word, and see if there's a story from your life, your past, your future, your childhood. I'm going to go up around the toes. Yeah. Get fungal.

Oh, fuck. Here we go. here we go talk to me wow what is it creepiest fear wow

what's your creepiest fear guy and I think you might have just done it in your underpants well I don't know if this is a fear okay but I often think about being kidnapped

like I'm driving and I'm parked somewhere and someone gets in the car with a gun points it at my head and says drive head north

and I just start driving with this guy with the gun And we just keep going, stop for gas, do a drive-thru, get some food. But we just keep going to Alaska, a cabin. We just start a life together up there. And I just am happy. because I've said goodbye to my wife

and my ungrateful daughter who pees alone. On a toilet. That is creepy. But is it, I don't, it's more of a wish. Like, creepiest wish. Yeah. You have fear here, but creepy wish

of being kidnapped. Yeah. And just thanking him. Yeah. At some point saying, brother, put the gun away. Yeah. I'm going. I'm with you.

Yeah. Let's go. And you live out your remaining days? I just live up there. We pee together. And it's not even sexual. Yeah, no. He just needed a ride.

Yeah. And I don't know. Is that creepy? Depends. Is it passionate? Is that just a fantasy? We all have fantasies. I think it depends what drive-through did you go through

on the way up. You mentioned you pulled into a drive-thru. Which one was it? That'll tell a lot. It'd be taco-based. Okay. It would be taco-based. So, okay. But that's just, that's just something, it's a creepy wish. Okay. Put a gun to my head, say, take me somewhere, and I just go, and I say, you don't need the gun. Use a blow dart. So I guess you could tie that to a youth. I want to

want to be alone, but I also just maybe want to be alone with someone who's got the balls to just put a gun to my head and say, let's go. Cold, wintry cabin with tacos. Yeah, I get it. I just like guys' company. I get it. I just like the company of a guy. Sure.

You know, and that's a long drive. It's a long, long drive. Driving from L.A. to... Especially on Taco Bell. That's a real long. drive yeah but then you know i haven't really thought it out if we use the bathroom or you know does he come into the stall with the gun yeah these are all things that you know makes it creepy yeah but man just just the idea of bonding with friends and maybe talk about some of the things i've done maybe he saw

reservation dogs and we can talk about oklahoma or i think it was reservoir dogs no reservation Dogs is a show that... Oh, your TV show. Yeah, I was a part of it, and that's, you know, I mean, I don't know if this is a plug. I don't know if that's a long way to try and pick up a viewer. I think it was. But it's streaming.

Why don't you just tell the folks you have a TV show and fuck all this bullshit? There's a show called Reservation Dogs. That's all you really wanted. It's streaming FX on Hulu. Yeah, that's what are you getting at. Another show called Jury Duty that you enjoyed that you can watch that. You were on. on that.

But it's about just putting a gun to my head and knowing that you don't have to. Don't hurt me. Let's just go, man. I was talking to them. I don't use guns. I use blow darts. And this, ladies and gentlemen,

was the seventh episode of the Hall of Highway podcast with Kirk Fox. Check them out. see him do comedy see his TV shows take him to Alaska and snuggle with them no snuggling it's just let's just go hunt and just talk venison yeah we go to Venice buddy hi thank you for being here thank you for seducing my audience makes your life better I know you're trying to accumulate fans and viewers for numbers and what would help with that I'm just going out as the theme music fades down.

If you could just seduce me a couple of hundred extra subscribers with your eyes and we'll fade to black, ladies and gentlemen, subscribe to the Harland Highway podcast. And perfect. Thanks, buddy. Welcome. See you in Alaska. I'll be there.

My pussy. I will. Ha ha ha ha.