The Harland Highway - 907 - Listener MAIL BAG! Harland reads letters from the PAVEMENT POUNDERS!

Episode Date: September 25, 2017

Listener MAIL BAG! Harland reads and responds to letters from the PAVEMENT POUNDERS! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah. Man, I'm feeling spunky today. I'll tell you why I'm feeling spunky, because, you know, as I request of you, pavement pounders, I say, hey, why don't you jump on the internet EO and drop me an email? Send me a letter. Tell me what's on your mind. Ask me some questions. Share your thoughts.

compliment me, criticize me, be silly, whatever. And so I have a link on my website, Harlemwilliams.com, and there's a link, a contact link. If you press that, then you can write to harlomwilliams.com directly. And I look at all those emails, and I kind of let them build up for a while. And then what I do is I dedicate a whole episode to the Harland Highway Pavement Pounders Mailbag. and I get in and I read your wonderful emails and whatever they may contain, I get into it.

So that's what we're going to do today. We've kind of stacked up the mail and we're going to open the Harland Highway mail bag and we are going to read your letters and yours truly is going to answer them as efficiently and honestly and effectively as I possibly can. So thank you everyone who wrote if you want to write right to harland williams.com.

Here we go. It's the mailbag episode on the Harland. Highway. Put on your seatbelt. It's about to get bumpy. Oh, how perfectly awful. I get my kicks above the waistline. When will they take the bandages off?

We don't know who we are. We don't know where we are. You're riding down the Harlan Highway. Let us out of here. Please. Let me tell you, you're starting something here that that's what you should be frightened of. Oh, fuck yeah, bud. Just leave us alone. Sit down, strap in, and shut up. What's going on? What's the matter? I thought maybe if I could kill him, I could make him stop. My mother never breastfed me. She told me she liked me. He's a friend. Who are we? This is the Harland Highway. What? It's the Harland Highway.

Well, it's not a cookbook today. What it is is the listener mailbag today. I think, you know, I said last podcast we haven't checked into the mailbag for a while. You guys write me, you pavement pounders write me at harlorn. And you send me little letters and emails and I let them kind of build up before I answer them. And so today's the day, man. Your hard letter writing is paying off. Today, we dedicate the show to answering your probing questions

and solving your deepest mysteries and maybe entertaining some of your dumbest thoughts. Whatever you throw at me, I accept it all. I absorb it all. So here we go. Raj, open the Harland Highway listener mailbag, and let's get into it. Let's see what's on the minds of the Harland Highway.

Pavement Pounders! Letters, oh, we get letters, we get your letters every day. Mailman, mailman, mail to-day. Reach right in and pull one out. Those letters, I love those letters. Let's find out what you've got to say. Oh, boy! Mailman!

Okay. Here we go. I'm the only person in the world who has emails that are somehow on physical paper. These are actually, you're hearing me, crinkle and crinkle emails. I know. It's unbelievable. That's why that's the bonus of listening to this podcast over others. People, you know, people probably get, you know, the digital emails. the ones that come up on the computer screen. But me, I don't know, somehow they manifest. But enough with that paper crumpling. This isn't an origami class. This is your very important letters to me. And let's start with a very important one.

Here we go. Our first email comes from Kevin King. Thank you for writing, Kevin. Kevin has a very important question. Kevin says, of the three stooges, which one is your favorite? Oh, well, let me tell you, sir, that one's pretty easy. I just loved curly. I loved curly.

I just, I loved the way he looked. I liked the way he was kind of chubby. I like the way he was kind of, he wasn't completely bald, but he had that real fine layer of peach fuzz. He had like the face of a boxer, like his nose was crooked, and he, He had kind of little bags under his eyes, and he kind of had the face of a tough guy. But he had the physicality and the comedic timing of a champion comedian. I mean, this guy, if you go in and watch, if you go in and watch the Three Stooges and you want to see a pioneer of comedy, if you want to see a guy that was ahead of the curve,

even to this day, I mean, this guy did stuff with his face and his hands and his body and his voice and his his eyes. I mean, this guy did it all. He's just fascinating to watch. And even if you don't like the Three Stooges, if you find, you know, they were done a long time ago. Some of the

stories are silly and they don't cut together right and stuff doesn't make sense and sometimes they get too, you know, long-winded. But sit through them and just as a study examine Curly. Examine the way he shuffling.

his legs, the way he moves his feet. Everything that guy does is just, it's just comic gold, man. And it's just, it's mesmerizing to me. It's absolutely almost confounding how incredible this guy was. And even when he's not talking, just watch his little movements. Watch when he's just standing there listening to the other people talk. He's always fidgeting. He's always doing something.

And then when he does have his moments, when he's on, when the camera's on him, when it's his lines or it's his close-up, I mean, the barks and the snarls and the, like the weird noises he makes. He clicks his teeth and he snaps his fingers. I mean, the guy is just amazing. And when you consider, you know, this is when,

This is what I was talking about with Jerry Lewis when he passed. I talked about him not too long ago. These guys were, you know, doing all this stuff at a time when film and TV and movies and the whole entertainment industry was just getting up off the ground. So these guys didn't really have super comedy influence. They just followed their instincts. And because they didn't know about, you know, today's maybe sophisticated level of entertainment, these guys were unfiltered.

And maybe that's what's missing from comedy today, is everyone's so calculated. Everybody's so worried about offending someone. People are so worried about what's appropriate and will people understand it if I do a barking noise? Will people understand it if I shuffle my feet backwards? Why would I spin around on the floor going whoop-whoop-whoop-woop-woop-bo-bo-bo-bo.

But that's the beauty, the innocence, of Curley and the Three Stooges, and all these early pioneers of comedy. They didn't care, man. And that's probably why they were so great. They didn't have any hang-ups. They didn't have any inhibitions. They weren't trying to please anyone. I mean, they probably were.

They're trying to make people laugh, but they just followed their gut instincts. And there was no pretentiousness, and there was no worrying that maybe someone thought it was too immature or stupid or whatever. And I think that's what Jim Carrey and Mike Myers brought back to a degree when they were at the peak of their fame with their movies. They just kind of threw all the caution to the wind. So for all you up-and-coming comedians and comedic actors, and this is something I've tried to do in my movies as well, is throw caution to the wind, man, be a risk-taker, be innovative, and just go for it, man. I mean, the other stooges were equally just as great. I mean, they came up with the same stuff Curley did in their own right,

especially Mo, who was the master of that, you know, that cruel, violent physical humor where he would pick people up by their nostrils and punched them in the stomach and knock them in the face. I mean, these guys were brilliant, but Curley had an innocence and a sweetness and a likability to them and just a goofy silliness that I think all children can relate to. It was non-sequitur, it didn't have to make sense. It was just pure silly slapstick comedic energy. So I loved all three of the stooges, but Curly was my fave.

So great freaking question, man. Thank you for writing in Kevin King. I wonder what Kevin's favorite stooge was. Maybe you want to write me back, Kevin, or maybe you want to leave him. me a voicemail and tell me let's move on roge to the next email digital email let's see what we have here all right here is a letter from geoffrey joseph macdonald short and to the point it says you're a good man harland williams okay i'll take it i'm not going to refute that thank you i mean you know Life can be tough, life can be hard, you can have people that call you a douchebag or an a hole.

And here I got a complete stranger, a pavement ponder, saying I'm a good man. I'll take it all day long. Thank you very much. Jeffrey Joseph McDonald. I'm not entirely sure what spawned that complimentary email, but, you know, I must have done something or said, something that led Jeffrey to believe I was a good man. And I try to be a good man. Thank you, buddy.

I'm sure you're a good man, too. Let's take the next email here. What do we got? This one's from Grant Cool. That's a cool name. When you got the word cool in your name, you got to be cool. Grant Cool. Here's his subject matter.

Hitch hiker meets puppy dog pals. Okay. Here's the message. My three-year-old daughter loves the Puppy Dog Pals program. And I'm partial to the Something About Mary Hitchhiker bit. So if you don't know, Puppie Dog Pals is an animated cartoon I created for kids. And my part in Something About Mary is like a serial killer hitchhiker guy. So his message continues.

So I figured it would be full circle to somehow incorporate the following rant into the cartoon, seven chipmunks twirling on a branch, eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know the old children's tail from the sea. It's like you're dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly breed time, baby. That would crack me up. Thanks, Grant. Well, that's a quote that I improvised in something about Mary. And to bring that around and put it in our kids' cartoon, as much as I would do it in a heartbeat.

Grant, and I think it would be awesome. Disney's very, very, very particular about the language and the innuendo and anything that goes into the kids programming. So sadly, I think hell would freeze over before, you know, we got that to happen. But if I had my way, I would definitely do it, man. So thank you for A, watching puppy dog pals and be being a fan of something about Mary. Let's do another letter email. Here we are Nelson Duarte. Subject, the dog with the air conditioner body. Oh, this keeps coming up, man.

I better do something about that. Here's his message. Hi, Harlan. Just love your acting and wanted to know if you have the episodes of the dog with an air conditioner body. who's by the way whose name is Mr. Callaghan, just FYI, he goes on to say, I've seen years ago, I guess when you first started. Anyways, told my family about it, and they laughed and said, I'm crazy, been looking everywhere, and I even told them to search,

and I would give a hundred bucks to whoever finds it first. That was one year ago. They all gave up. Do you have a picture or something I can show them? them, would so much appreciate it, would even love to see them again. Please help. Thanks for your time, Nelson. You know, this is interesting, man. Out of all the things I've done in my career, this was one of the very first things I did. I've talked about this before on the podcast. I did a little bunch of shorts that I came up with and created back when I first moved to L.A.

and I was on MTV a lot, and they asked me, Hey, Harland, do you have any ideas for little, you know, film skits? And I said, yeah, I came up with this idea where I was this guy, this lovable guy who had a pet dog named Mr. Callaghan. And the dog was half air conditioner, half dog. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes.

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And so we built the air conditioner dog and we did like five or six episodes of Mr. Callaghan where I was just out fishing and catching butterflies and going for walks. and meeting girls and stuff like that, just me and my air conditioner dog. And over the years, people have not forgotten it somehow. It resonated. You're not the, you know, Nelson is not the first one to try and track it down and reach out to me.

It's been kind of a constant out of all the work I've ever done. And so I'm thinking there must be something to it. And here's the good news, buddy. I actually do have copies of the video. The problem is they're on old VHS and they're kind of grainy and old and, you know. But that being said, I'm going to try and maybe film some of them with my cell phone

and I will tweet them. I will put them up on my Twitter. So if you want to be, you know, see them, join my Twitter account. And, you know, maybe. I can flesh them out more. Maybe I can put them up on my YouTube channel or something, but at least I can verify that Mr. Callaghan, the dog with the air conditioner body, is in fact real. Okay? So there you go, man. Interesting. Interesting how Mr. Callaghan keeps popping up.

Thank you for the inquiry. Thank you for the letter. And let's go to the next Harland Highway Mailbag Paper email Here we go This is from Arabi Kazajaka C-Z-A-J-K-A That's almost like Calajan

He says LA Hey Harlan me and two of my buddies from Australia Are staying in L.A. for a week What do you recommend to see Apart from the usual? I'm a huge fan Listen to your podcast constantly. I want to thank you for the laughs. Well, you're all right, mate. Good on you. You're

welcome. I know you are Canadian, but I know you live in Los Angeles. I want to know from inside info, where's the best places to go? We are all aged around 40, and I am drunk right now while typing this. Well, you know, you're allowed to type when you're drunk, as long as you wear a seatbelt. He concludes with a chicken chowmaine, baby. Thank you. Well, Robbie, I'm glad you and your buddies are in L.A. And, you know, you don't say buddies if you're Australian. You say mates. Me and my mates are in Los Angeles.

So, you know, there's all kinds of fun things to do in Los Angeles. I mean, I would recommend do Hollywood Boulevard. And I would recommend, like, do it at night. Hollywood Boulevard, you start at the Man's Chinese Theater. And you walk, you know, you walk about a course. quarter of a mile, half a mile down, each side, where the walk of fame is with all the stars in the sidewalk, and you get the Hollywood Wax Museum, and you got all the kooky stuff, and you get to see the footprints of all the stars in the cement at the Man's Chinese Theater.

But it's more than that. It's just a very eccentric walk. If you do it, you're kind of mixed in with people who are tourists from. all over the planet you're mixed in with weird locals who are trying to make money and dressed up like cartoon characters and some of them have like giant boa constrictors wrapped around their neck some of them are breakdancing some of them are doing art um and then you've got the real Hollywood whack jobs who came here for whatever reason years ago to become a star and have just gone around the bend and they're walking around with a paper bag on their head or they've got shoes

made out of submarine sandwiches or they're dread that they painted their body like a rainbow or they're nude or so a good walk up and down Hollywood Boulevard right in the right in the middle of it is always really entertaining I would recommend you do it at night and it's just one of those those walks where you absorb and take in the sounds and the sights and the smells it's quite entertaining and you never know what you're going to see what you're going to find I often do it myself I kind of go incognito

I wear a hat and I kind of dress down and I kind of you know I don't shave and I'll often walk that little block just for inspiration looking for jokes

looking for ideas to write about and sometimes just for the sheer like entertainment value it's a really cool interesting little walk also you got

to get down to the beaches. I would recommend you get down to Venice Beach, Santa Monica beaches, and rent rollerblades. It's really cool. They got a concrete walkway that weaves through the sand. So right near the water where the waves are crashing in, they've got this really smoothed out walkway where you can rollerblade for miles and miles.

And that's really fun and unique. Also, if you can get out to the desert, It's about a two-hour drive, but I really recommend you drive out to Joshua Tree National Park. It's a great drive, and once you're there, it's a really surreal park. It's got these very bizarre Joshua trees, and it's got very strangely shaped rocks, and it's almost like landing on another planet. It's a good drive, good way to spend the day and see these plants only grow in this part of the world. Joshua trees do not grow anywhere else on the planet.

So it's a really cool drive. What else, man? I mean, there's so much to do. I would just get on the internet and, you know, figure it out. But those are some of the cool places that you can at least, you know, fill a one or two days with and have some fun, all right? So I know there's way more I can tell you, but I think you'll have fun just figuring it out,

exploring on your own. But there's three that I think will definitely, you'll be glad you did them if you do them. So there you go, buddy. Thanks for writing. That was Robbie Kuzugzugge all the way from Australia, mate.

Let's go. Let's keep rolling. I think we're on a good roll here. Let's get deeper into the Harland Highway mailbag. All right. Let's see. Here we go. This is an email from David Tannenhouse. Here we go.

Hello, Harlan. The podcast regarding your experiences sitting next to fat people on an airplane brought up some very unpleasant memories for me, and I'm the fat guy. Oh, okay. Let's read this. I weighed 450 plus pounds. Oh, my God. That, I'm not making fun of you, dude. That is enormous.

Wow. I mean, that's beyond obese. That's like, that's like critical. Let's keep reading. Constantly battling my weight. I could easily have become a thousand pounder if I hadn't fought so hard. Well, good for you, dude. Eating disorders are hell to live with as it was, as it was, I dieted up to 450 plus pounds.

Wow, man. Listen, first of all, I know it's got to be hell. I can get depressed or down or beat up on myself if I gain like five or six pounds. Most people do. And to be battling hundreds and hundreds of pounds, I can only imagine the hell that you went through. And I feel bad for you, man. Now he says I weigh a bit under 300 pounds. Well, good for you, man.

You've lost over 150 pounds. Unfortunately, the airline seats have shrunk faster than I have, so it's more uncomfortable to fly now than when I was at my highest weight. For that reason, I rarely fly. In the old fatter days, I would sometimes buy two seats or get a roomier but still tight first class seat. It was expensive, and I didn't have the income of a rich comedian, just the income of a middle class comedian.

Luckily, I had a friend at the airline counter that would give me breaks and find ways to help. helps me. Well, that's nice. I endured angry, nasty passengers when I couldn't get better seating. It was horrible, and I felt sorry for my airline neighbors. Well, that's considerate of you. The fellow that you reported is suing the airline for the uncooperative treatment is on the right track. It is the responsibility of the wealthy airline companies to solve this problem. Their profits are at record highs. Yes, that's what I said, David. I totally, totally agree. The fact that the airline companies aren't dealing with this issue is just ignorant and cruel, in my opinion.

He goes on to say, David goes on to say, there is a hero in this story. Southwest Airlines has a service called Customer of Size, C-O-S. This service allows us fat guys to buy an airline seat and get a second or third seat for free. We get to spray it out and don't arrive at our destination in crippling pain. You regular-sized people don't have to sit uncomfortably next to a super obese person, worrying about being squeezed, catching blubbery germs, and muttering about your bad luck. Well, that's cool. I'm glad Southwest Airlines does that.

Southwest Airlines just seems to be a cool airline. I don't like it that you can't reserve a seat or you can't get first class. But outside of that, I think they have a really good attitude. and I think, you know, they have a good sense of humor and they're customer-friendly and I've always thought they were a very good airline. David continues, why don't other airlines have COS policies? Maybe they would rather knock the teeth out of complaining passengers

or separate parents from their toddlers and they're in to take away custody. Southwest Airlines gets it. They created a policy where everyone wins. Their fellow airline executives are blinded by dollars and power. They would rather fight than accommodate their customers. Your longtime fan, David Tenenhouse. Well, David, thank you for sharing.

I mean, I know that's not easy, man. When you're a big person like that, and again, not an insult, but when you are a beast, let's call it what it is, I can only imagine the hell you go through on a daily basis, man. and I really feel for you, and I really feel for you when you get on the airline. And it's interesting, since I did my segment about this recently, I'd say a couple of two, three months ago I did the whole bit about the obese person on the airline. I had since been on a plane, and it happened again where I was in first class, and a guy in front of me, but on the other side got the first. first seat in first class, and he was very, very large.

And the people behind me, there was an elderly couple, a white couple sitting behind me, a man and a woman, and I heard the woman kind of just, just sort of under her breath, but almost loud enough that the fact I could hear it, she was kind of like, oh my God, look at that. Would you look at it? How do you get like that? Like she was making some snide comments, and I thought, okay, maybe. you do it once. There's the shock

value. You're a little, if you're repulsed or you think it's gross or whatever, maybe it's just a knee-jerk comment. But then I noticed this lady, like she just kind of kept rolling them out. She did it like four or five times

where, you know, grunting her dissatisfaction. And this obese guy was not anywhere and near her, like she was a few rows back. She could visually see him. But he was not infringing on her space in any way he was not touching her he was not you know he couldn't even see her he was facing forward he was in front of her but i could tell this lady was mumbling her disgust just

probably loud enough that maybe this big guy could catch it and i thought it was really mean and cruel and i almost turned around if she kept going i was probably going to turn around and say something But then this all happened during, like, everyone's loading and while everyone's getting on the plane. So you can hear things. But then once the jet engines kicked in and we took off and were airborne, you know, you get that kind of loud hum in the air. And so I could not hear her comments anymore. But I thought it was very mean and cruel that she kept kind of persisting with her rants about this guy's weight. And I'm like, do you think this?

guy liked it that he was so big and people were looking at him and you could just kind of tell he felt bad and uncomfortable so I feel you man I feel your pain and and thank you for sharing and all I can say buddy is is you know congratulations for losing weight for staying committed to working so hard to losing it I applaud you I commend you I think we all do and we urge you We encourage you to keep going, keep fighting for your health, keep fighting for your life. And as you've seen, the hard work is paying off. So don't be discouraged. Don't give up.

Don't be, you know, stopped in your tracks by people who might ridicule you or make underhanded comments, man. It's not freaking easy what you're dealing with. And let's hope these airlines get with the program and show a little. compassion and try to figure out this problem and we're wishing you well man we want you to get down to a size where you're happy and comfortable and not dealing with this stuff and in doing so you're probably an inspiration to other people dealing with the problem so there you go thank you for writing in a tough topic to deal with but nonetheless we are dealing with it okay so what else we talk about.

You know, we're talking about the first class. So why don't I, you know, why don't I do this email? First class on the airplanes. Here's another email from Joe Zankis. Joe says, I agree with it. By the way, just to preface this, I did a rant about how even in first class, even though they call it first class, it's more like shit class. When you're on an airplane, they don't spoil you with.

food and and perks and and and things the way they used to when you bought first class all you're really getting on first class now is a seat that's a little wider gives you a little more space and and you're guaranteed a free meal but these meals are as you might have heard I did a podcast about a month and a half ago where the first class meal was a freaking cheeseburger and so it's again, it's another example of how the airlines are hoarding their profits and making us the consumers pay. So here's Joe's email about the first class on airline situation. He says, I agree with you on airlines cheeping out.

I think they are playing a juggling game right now to appear competitive. Oh, well, we'll keep the actual airfare low, but we'll charge you for every bag and charge you for your headphones and charge you for oxygen and give you a crap meal in first class. And if you have a 25 cent bag of pretzels and economy, or you can buy a snackwell's packet for $6, which is four times the price at any grocery store. Joe continues, he says, I don't agree with wasting food just to give everyone an option, but what they should be doing is making 12 steak meals, and if you have some sort of diet requirement you either forego the meal or you pre-request a salad or here's another option don't

even serve food there's restaurants all over the airport but whatever you want to eat by just buy whatever you want to eat just before they start boarding well that's true but food at airports is really expensive and a lot of times it's not good some air i've been to every airport in america some airports are great and have really killer restaurants and other airports have crap and have nothing. And sometimes you don't have time to eat. You know, it's panicky. You don't know how long the food's going to take to prepare.

You're trying to figure out when to get to your gate. So buying a regular, a nice meal at a restaurant comes with all kinds of issues. Also, you got to kind of go, well, what kind of chef or what kind of qualified cook really works in a restaurant at the airport? You know, are you getting just some guy that just got out of jail? You're getting a student. I mean, who's cooking, who's preparing your meal at the airport? I don't think it's people from culinary school. You know what I'm saying?

So eating in an airport can be problematic when you're trying to time your flight and time your eating habits. Some people have, you know, digestive issues. Some people have stomach problems. Some people, you know, don't get to the airport so that they don't have to waste time at the airport. And they kind of plan it so that they get on their flight within a half hour or 40 minutes of getting there. That's what I do. I don't factor in sitting down for a meal.

The ambiance at an airport is not really what I'm looking for when I go to dinner. I don't want to eat my meal and watch people rushing by with their luggage. So even though it's an interesting suggestion, I'm going to poo poo that one. And as far as you talking about, you know, giving everyone an option in first class and not wasting food and just making 12 steaks, well, I feel like you can give people an option because food gets wasted no matter what. And in first class, you're usually dealing with like, you know, 8 to 12 to 16 people. And so if you make two of everything and at the end of it, you have to discard three or four meals, well, I don't love it, but I'm guessing the staff probably eats them. I'm guessing that the air flight attendants and the captain and probably eat a portion of those.

And I'm also guessing the ground crew or even the kitchen staff get into them. So if you have to waste a little bit to service first class passengers, I don't think that's a sin. Now, if we were talking about throwing away tons and tons or hundreds of pounds of food, yeah, that's not right. If it's one or two, you know, a salad here, a chicken filet there, I mean, that's not the worst thing in the world because food gets wasted no matter what. So also, Joe says let's continue with his letter as it closes up here. He says at the same time, if airlines are profiting so well, you would think someone would come along and start a new airline that truly treated customers well. I'm always flying the main airlines like United Delta American, so it's possible. such a thing exists, and I just don't know about it, like JetBlue or British Airways.

Yes, I do believe, I think there is a new airline. I'm not positive, but I feel like I saw a news story where there's an airline that that was like full-on, like, first class, every seat folded down into a bed and the food. And I'll tell you what, man, if I could fly that kind of airline everywhere, I would. And the sad thing is, first class used to be kind of like that on airlines. and even economy class was a lot closer to that. In economy, you used to have a choice for a hot meal. So let's see.

I mean, it's a lot to digest. But Joe Zankeis, the pavement pounder that wrote, Concludes here. He says, of course, none of this still doesn't explain the giant profits airlines are making every year or the high bonuses that CEOs are earning, as I mentioned in my podcast about the whole thing, how that all these CEOs are making millions and millions of dollars

for sitting behind a desk. And what are they doing? They're making decisions that affect the passengers that pay their bills in a negative way. If you're the CEO, you have the final say in everything. Everything. So, well, CEOs of airlines bonuses go up into the 12 to 25 million range every year.

Have you ever heard of a bonus that big? Remember at Christmas for a bonus, you'd get like a turkey and $100? $24 million. So while their bonuses keep climbing, the guys at the top who make the decisions are saying, you know what? Cut back on the food.

cut back on the free baggage, cut back on the first classers, give them a cheeseburger instead of a steak, cut back on the size of the seats, increase the fares, this and that. So while they're making their lives better, these greedy CEOs that have more money than they know what to do with, they're making life shittier for the people that are paying for their exuberant lifestyles. I mean, that is just rotten. I don't mind a CEO who's earned his way to the top of the pecking order. I always think that people who are high achievers and get to, you know, high places, okay, they deserve a little extra. Maybe a million dollars a year. Maybe a million five, but $7 million, $12 million, $24 million.

and if you're making your customers suffer, why should you get any bonus at all? I mean, you're still getting a great salary. Your salary is, you know, a mile higher than most average people's salaries. So there you go. Joe Zankis on board with me with the whole airline debacle. Oh my gosh, look at the, time. We're getting a little long here, Roger. Usually we just do like 35 minutes. We're

40 minutes. Should we do one more letter since we, you know, we got a little backed up here? Okay. Let's do it. Let's do, uh, let's do one more letter here. And this is from Kyle C. Kyle C, one of his digital emails. Uh, enjoyed listening to your stories of meeting Jerry Lewis. cool memories to have. Thanks for sharing them. P.S. My urine bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles. Just like all of ours does, buddy.

It all bubbles, bubbles, bubbles and makes the spider eyes. But I'm glad you enjoyed my stories of meeting Jerry Lewis. I guess we've kind of come full circle because we talked about the three stooges at the beginning. And I should probably mention, too, that the three stooges preceded Jerry Lewis. So I talked about how they're both kind of early pioneers in the film and TV and comedy business. Well, the Stooges were a whole generation before even Jerry came along.

And Jerry was a comedy, you know, genius in his own right. So, yes, my fond memories of meeting Jerry Lewis a couple of times and just high praise for their work. I recently was down on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Hollywood, California, and I found Jerry Lewis's star on the Walk of Fame, and I was able to take a picture with it, and I posted that on my Instagram, and then I also found Jerry Lewis's footprints in the cement at the Man's Chinese Theater.

I don't know if I've posted those yet. I'll see if I can find that picture and post it to my Twitter or Instagram. If you're not following me on there, please do so. I put up all kinds of fun little trinkets for y'all. And yeah, man, I think that should do it, Raj. I think we had a pretty good, interesting mailbag today. We talked about comedy. We talked about airlines.

We talked about obesity. I mean, what didn't we talk about? So let's close it up And that's it for This Harland Highway listener mailbag Be sure to write in Maybe we'll read your email Your digital email on the show

You can write me at Harlandwilliams.com And there is a contact link there And I read all of them Don't worry, don't feel like Oh, he probably won't read mine I read every one of them And we just randomly select the ones we read.

And so don't feel left out. Don't feel like you're not being read. You will be. And you can write about whatever you want, okay? So there you go. Close up the Harlan Highway Mailbag, Rodge. Another letter from our listener's day. Yeah.

All right. Hey, thanks again, everybody, for writing in to Harlan Highway. Williams.com. It's so fun to hear what's on your mind and get a chance to respond and react to you and your queries. Your queries.

Such wonderful queries. But let's wrap it up. Let's get to some announcements. If you want to see me do some live stand-up comedy, oh yeah, this weekend. Yours truly is back on the East Coast.

be in, just outside of Chicago in Schaumburg, Illinois, at the Improv Comedy Club. It's just a little bit of a drive just on the outskirts of Chicago. And it is a great, great comedy club, the Schaumburg Improv. That's September 28th to October 1st. Get your tickets at Harlow Williams.com. And then let's see, where am I going from there? later in October, mid-October, October, October 12 to the 15th. Yours truly will be in Irvine, California, Orange County,

just outside of downtown L.A. That's October 12th to the 15 at the Improv in Irvine. And then this just added October 20th to 21st, two nights only. Friday, Saturday, I will be at Flappers. Flappers Comedy Club, right in downtown Burbank, California. intimate room. I always tend to have very strange and weird bizarre sets there. And I don't know why, but I really like it.

It's a very tight room. People sitting really close, and I always have really cool sets at flappers. So come on by. And then November 2nd to the 5th, I'll be at Helium Comedy Club in Buffalo, New York. Great club. I did it once before. I really liked it. and then mid-November, November 16th to the 19th,

yours truly in San Jose, California. Yeah, baby. That's the improv in San Jose, November 16th to 19th. And then I'm up in Edmonton, Alberta, at Rick Bronson's Comedy Strip or House of Comedy or whatever it's called. So get all your tickets online at Harland Williams-A-Dot. And I look forward to seeing you up there or out there or down there or over there or under there, wherever you may be coming from. Hopefully you don't have to fly on one of the shitty airlines to get there.

And then what else can I tell you? Well, you're at harlo-Williams.com. Check out our store. We have lots of fun merchandise. Also, thank you for watching my new Disney show, Puppy Dog Pals. I hadn't mentioned it yet. We did get a second season, which is awesome. We're very excited. We have a whole second season that'll be coming out in 2018.

So the show is a hit and tons of toys. Oh, my God. All the toys are coming out. Get on Amazon.com or go to Target.com or Toyser Us.com. And as adorable as the cartoon is, the toys are super adorable. and I've started building my own collection of puppy dog pals toys. That's the name of the show. So if you have little ones, I hope you pick up some fun toys for the kids.

And it's just great. It's great to see how well people are reacting to this Disney cartoon. So thank you all for tuning in. I'm glad you're loving it. Also, well, you're at Harlow Williams Dockler, Don't forget to go on the app link and become a premium member for $20 a month. Or, sorry, $20 a year. What am I saying?

A month, $20 a year. That's like probably a fraction of a penny a day. You get the whole collection of Harland Highway podcasts over 900. We're coming up on 1,000. Not many podcasts have as many episodes as I do. I mean, I am way out in front of the pack. in terms of tons of content. So if you like the show and you like the comedy

and you like the zaniness, there's over 900 episodes waiting for you to go in and hopefully have a laugh with. So there you go, man. That is $20, the Harlan Highway Premium Membership. You can log in and sign up at Harlanwilms.com under the app link. And then if you just want to hear the show for free,

you can get the latest, 50 latest episodes for free on our free app, which is in your app store. The Harland Highway podcast is in your app store. And you can just download that for nothing and listen to us wherever you may be. And by the way, if you're a premium member, you can also listen to the backloaded episodes wherever you are. You get the 50 latest episodes for free, but if you're a premium member, you can listen to the whole catalog on your Harland Highway app. So another good reason to get the premium membership for 20 big ones. And that is it for now, everybody.

Until next time, I might have some interesting news about doing the podcast live at a comedy club. I'll mention that to you next podcast. This could be exciting. I've only done the podcast live in front of an audience once before. It might be happening again. So tune in next show and I'll fill you in on when and where that could be happening. We're just in the process of confirming it. So stay tuned.

Check in next podcast for the answer to that mystery. So there you go. Thank you so much for being here, everybody. And until next time, Chicken, Chalman, baby.