The Harland Highway - 908 - AUNT RUTHY calls the show. The Monster in your hand! 70's Vans!
Episode Date: September 28, 2017AUNT RUTHY calls the show. The Monster in your hand, cell phones taking over our minds! 70's Vans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for priva...cy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, Pilgrims. Welcome to the Harland Highway.
I don't know why I started with creepy old cowboy guy, but it just felt right.
It just felt right, pilgrims.
Well, welcome to the show. I'm Harland Williams.
You are on the Harland Highway podcast, whether you're a cowboy or not.
Welcome to the Wild Frontier that is the Harland Highway.
What a show today.
Aunt Ruthie's calling in, my favorite aunt.
from Rochester, New York, has left a phone message for me.
I haven't heard it yet.
We're going to play it live on the show
and see what the hell my crazy aunt Ruthie has been up to.
Also on today's show, something very scary.
There's something happening to us, ladies and gurgle-nargans,
out here in society, something creepy and invasive
and it's slowly creeping into the fabric of who we are
and our society and our planet.
Way to you hear about the creepy monster that's crawling into your life.
Yeah, you might not even be aware of it.
It's happening to you right now.
Oh, yeah, this is kind of eerie.
And then later on, we're going to be talking about a childhood memory.
One of the pavement founders called in and reminded me of something that was really cool in my childhood that involved vans.
So let's go.
Get in your van.
Let's drive.
This is.
Highway.
Put on your seatbelt.
It's about to get bumpy.
Oh, how perfectly awful.
I get my kids above the waistline, sunshine.
When will they take the bandages off?
We don't know who we are.
We don't know where we are.
You're riding down the Harland Highway.
Let us out of here.
Please!
Let me tell you.
you're starting something here that that's what you should be frightened of
oh fuck yeah but just leave us alone sit down strap in and shut up what's going on what's the
matter i thought maybe if i could kill him i could make him stop my mother never breastfed me
she told me she liked me he's a friend who are we this is the harland highway what it's the
Harlan Highway.
It's a cup of!
It's a cop-buck!
Ah!
Ah!
Scary.
Scary.
Yeah.
It's...
You know that scary music?
Because what I'm about to tell you is a scary story.
This freaked me out.
This actually spooked me, okay?
This involves you and me and everybody.
This is kind of creepy.
So I'm out and about the other day with a friend.
We're out driving and we end up in Beverly Hills, okay, down here in California.
We're over in the Beverly Hills area.
And we go to lunch at a mall and we get in the car.
And I start talking to my friend about the cell phone culture we're in.
And we pull out of the underground garage at the mall,
which is probably scarier than anything I'm talking about
because there's scary places.
And I said, to prove my point, I said, watch.
I was talking about how immersed we are as a culture in our cell phones.
And as we pulled out of the garage from the subterranean world
up under the terrestrial plane,
onto the topography of planet Earth.
earth, the top layer of the earth's crust, if you will, I said to my friend, I said,
look, look as we're driving along. And so we started driving along the surface streets.
And I go, look at that person over there. First person we saw on their phone. I was like,
you know, they had that posture where they're standing there and they're looking down at
their phone. And she was like, oh yeah, okay. So,
And I'm not even making this up, folks.
This is not a joke.
This is for real.
We keep driving the next person.
Someone standing at a bus stop.
Then we look over to the other side of the street.
Someone jogging.
Earbuds in looking down at their phone while they're jogging.
Then we see a guy leaning against a pole jogging.
And we drove, we drove probably about five miles.
And in that five miles, ladies, and I'm not exaggerating, in that five miles, I would say that 75 to 80% of the people we saw on the sidewalk, on the street, were staring into their phone.
I'm not making it up. I'm not exaggerating.
Okay
I'm not talking about a street that was cascading with people like you'd see in New York
I'm talking about a street surface streets where
There's people it wasn't like packed like a mob but there was people like every
You know if I could calculate the amount of people we passed in five miles that were on the street. I'd say
I don't know
200 in LA you don't get tons of people out walking in the streets but let's say 200 maybe a hundred
I don't know but I'm not kidding 70 to 80% of those people some of them were sitting on a bench
some of them were waiting for a bus some of them were crossing an intersection some of them
were standing at a valet parking some of them were in front of an office building and if
first we started laughing we were just going oh there's another one oh there's another one
there's another one there's another one and then it was like we kind of started getting spook we're
like holy fuck there's another one no no wait there's another one there's a there was a homeless
looking guy with one and it got really weird man when you really pay attention and look around
and this is an exercise i'm going to ask you to do next time you're out in broad daylight
and you're just driving or walking down the street
make a conscious effort to take a tally
take a look around
and it's spooky man
it was spooky
it was almost like I was watching
like a weird mind control zombie movie
there's an old movie called
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
there's an old black and white version
they did way back in the
50s, I think.
And then there was a newer version that came out, I think, in the 70s with Donald Sutherland.
And it's a movie about these pods, these big spores, like seed type of things that float
through the universe and floated down and landed on planet Earth.
And what they did is they'd land near people and people who were asleep.
And when they were asleep, the spores would send out the.
these tentacles and the tentacles would absorb the other the human beings persona their physical
being they're all of them and what they would do is they would they would duplicate them they would
duplicate the human being and become exactly like them and they'd stand up and then the human
being that they sucked all the DNA and all the uh the the the life source from would crumble up
into dust.
And so there'd be no trace of the original
you. Now there
would be this new version
of you.
And it looked like you. It sounded like you.
It walked and talked like you, but it had kind of
this zombie brain.
All the brains were connected.
They all worked in tandem.
They were all linked. They were all joined.
And it started that they
started to over, you know, they started to take
over the city and the town.
and all of a sudden
if they came up on someone
that wasn't like them
that wasn't a duplicate
it was really creepy
in the Donald Sutherland version
of the movie
the pod people
would all of a sudden their eyes
would bulge out and they'd point their fingers
and they'd just kind of do this weird scream
they'd be like
it was like this weird
horrific alien scream
And then they'd all chase the original person down and force them to lie down with a pod and become a duplicate.
And I'm telling you, man, I drove by and saw all these people linked to their cell phones and staring into these screens and tuning out the rest of the world.
immersed in the little rectangle in their hand the glowing alluring rectangle like a moth flying into a bug light
and the little glow up on their face and they were just sucked in
and they were talking to someone or they're looking at a video or they're watching the news
or they were but they were the world had become contained in the palm of their hand
and the world, the environment around them no longer existed
and I was like, this is like a fucking horror movie, man.
But will you tell these fools, I'm not crazy.
Make them listen to me before it's too late.
Listen to me.
Please listen.
If you don't, if you won't, if you fail to understand,
and the same incredible terror that's menacing me will strike in you.
No, no, you've got to get out of here, please!
They come from another world, spawned in the light years of space,
unleashed to take over the bodies and souls of the people of our planet,
bringing a new dimension in terror to the giant superscope scream.
Whatever intelligence or instinct it is,
that can govern the forming of human flesh and blood out of thin air is...
It's fantastically powerful, beyond any comprehension.
The cursed, dreadful, malevolent thing was happening to those he loved.
This isn't just an ordinary body, isn't it?
I never saw one like it.
It looks...
...unused.
Miles, where do they come from?
I don't know.
Suddenly, while you're asleep, they'll absorb your minds, your memories.
I don't want any part of it.
You're forgetting something, Miles.
What's that?
You have no choice.
From city to city an incredible hysterical panic spread.
As the unimaginable becomes real, the impossible becomes true.
Stop and listen to me, listen, listen to me, listen to me.
They're not human!
Can't you see everyone? They're here already.
You're next!
Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have
better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering
50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make
your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping
on your entire order, doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged
and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off,
one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to
Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire.
Just enter the offer code Harland to check out.
That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com.
This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast.
So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount
and 100% free shipping code Harland.
Have fun.
Don't throw your back out.
And then I just started thinking about Apple as, you know,
isn't it interesting that Apple is a fruit?
And apple has seeds.
Maybe apple is like the demon seeds that are coming down
and sucking everyone's identity and soul into their rectangles.
And it sounds kind of comedic, it sounds kind of silly,
but I'm telling you, man, it eventually got a bit scary.
Like I was at the point where I wasn't really kind of fascinated
and intrigued and amused anymore.
I was like, this is fucking weird.
This is fucking wrong.
This is scary.
What's happening to us?
And that was the real big question mark.
It's like, do we even know what's happening?
Do we even see it?
Do we even know that we're part of it?
I'm part of it.
I stare into my phone too.
And it's almost like you can't resist it.
You can't turn it off.
You can't get away from it.
It's like these phones have control over us, ladies, and gurgle glargans.
And I can't see it getting any better.
I only see it getting worse.
And that was just me looking at them physically,
and I'm thinking, what are they doing to us psychologically?
Physically, they're separating us.
Physically, they're pulling us apart because we're becoming more interested
in the rectangles in our hands
than we are in the living
human beings that
surround us
so in the physical world
we're tuning out people physically
we're replacing physical
human beings for an experience
with our phones
and you have to start to go
what's it doing in my brain
I saw an article the other day
that said humans are having
less sex now
because they like to lay in bed at night
and look at their phone
so instead of having sex or intercourse
or fooling around
they're more intrigued by getting into their phone
to see what's going on
and I'm not even joking
are you know
have you ever been
have you ever done this? Have you ever been on a date
or out with a friend
and you're anxious to end the date
or end the moment with your friend?
Because you're anxious to get back to your house
or into your car or into a private space
where you can start perusing your phone?
I've been guilty of that.
I've done it.
I've been at movies with friends
or I've been hanging out.
I'm talking and I'm like, yeah, I've got to go.
I got to go, yeah.
Hey, great to see you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I realize I want to get away from them.
so I can get into my phone.
What's my phone got to say?
What's going on in my phone?
Who's texting me?
Who's talking to me?
Who's on my social media?
Oh!
I think all of you listening might be guilty of the same thing.
They're taking over, ladies and gentlemen.
They're getting to us.
They're starting to control our actions.
Our physical actions.
Our mental actions.
Our psychological actions.
What's happening?
Ladies and gentlemen,
what is freaking happening?
It's weird.
And you may, you may think, oh, come on.
what do you
stop trying to scare us
stop, stop trying to fluff up
the, oh, phone
phone paranoia
phonophobe
you're a phonophobe
I'm actually
starting to wonder if someone's going to report me
wouldn't that be interesting
if someone called Apple
somebody called Verizon
Hey guys, listen
I was listening to this podcast
and there was a guy talking
about, you know, how we're getting too into the phones. And I'm thinking, shouldn't we shut him up?
Can you send someone? Can you send someone from Apple? From the Apple Store and Apple Genius and a
blue t-shirt to track him down. He's got to be silenced. I don't want anything coming between me
and my phone. And if this guy's speaking out, he might change the relationship I'm having with my phone.
so here's what I'm proposing ladies gentlemen do it here's your homework do it I want you to take 15 minutes
at some point during the next week take 15 minutes wherever you may be out walking maybe you're
even driving like I did and for 15 minutes only maybe 10 if you don't have the time because you
you gotta get into your phone 10 or 50 minutes just watch just drive just walk and look at everybody who passes you
if you go by a Starbucks look in the window see who's on their phone if you're walking down the sidewalk
and people pass you see if they're on their phone if you see a car go by look in the window see if they're on their
phone. I want to see what percentage you come up with. I came up with 70 to 80%. Do you believe
me? What kind of results will you have? The invasion of the body snatchers. Let me know if your phone
allows you
they come from a dying world
they drift through the universe
pushed on by the solar winds
they adapt
and they survive
the function of all life
is survival
sleep
from deep space
the seed is planted
Fear
grows
Matthew
Matthew
Matthew
Like the others
Elizabeth's wake up
Get you when you sleep
Sit up
Invasion of the body snatchers
It's got no detail
No character
It's unformed
All of a sudden they're growing like parasite
Is it contagious?
People are being duplicated
How do you know my name?
I didn't tell you my name
You can't find anything in here that looks like a body.
My side's nose bleed.
It looked right at me.
You're looking at it as if it was human, but not human.
Now, the classic fear begins to grow.
We're being cornered.
In a modern masterpiece of science fiction.
They're barricading the street.
Invasion of the body statues.
Get down.
Starring Donald Sutherland, Brooke Adams.
Leonard Nimoy
Invasion of the body snatchers
From deep space
The seed is planted
Terror grows
From Apple headquarters
The seed is planted
The cell phone plan grows
Wow
A little creepy, right?
Little freaking creepy.
Something to think about.
Do your homework.
Get back to me.
Let me know what your ratio is when you do your 10-minute test or your 15-minute test.
Let me know what the percentages of people you see in your environment or community with their face buried in their phone.
Ooh, all right.
Let's move on, man.
Let's move on.
What?
Oh, really?
Yeah, we haven't heard from her for a while.
Aunt Ruthie's, she's left a message.
Okay, well, talk about going from phone terror to phone voicemail terror.
My Aunt Ruthie, lives up in Rochester, New York, always calls me.
She checks in, you know, my mother's sister, and she's wonderful.
I love her.
I grew up with her.
She was always around, and she, uh, she,
just, I guess she misses me.
She likes to keep in touch, and she leaves these long-winded cell phone messages,
and I always kind of get a kick out of them, and let's just play it, Raj.
Here it is.
Here's my lovable Aunt Ruthie calling in, leaving me a phone message from Rochester, New York.
Hello.
Hello, Angel, are you there?
Oh, my God.
Hello, Angel, it's your Aunt Ruthie calling.
How are you today, Angel?
Oh, my God, I miss you so much.
We're calling from Rochester, New York, Angel.
I don't know if it, you know, my phone line tells you that when it picks up or whatnot.
But, oh, my God, I had to call you, Angel.
We had a bit of an event happen at the house here the other day.
You know, your uncle Harry was sitting here watching his television shows.
And I know you're down there in the Hollywood's making your own TV show.
and your televisions and so on
and whatnot. We're never
sure what you're up to, your little
bastard, your little freckle-faced
fuck. But anyhow,
we were sitting here watching
Uncle Harry's shows. He likes to watch
Bonanza. You know how Uncle Harry
likes the Cowboys and the Indians.
And all of a sudden, I don't know why.
Maybe it's because you Van Rooney
washed the windows about a week ago.
A goddamn bird flew into the glass.
It was some kind of grackle
or something. I don't know. It was black
and had speckles on it. I don't know
if it had AIDS or something, but
so, you know, I went out there.
I slid the door
open, and I went outside, and I picked
a little fucker wrap. I mean, he was
laying there, his feathers flew
all over the place. He looked
like his beak was half crooked.
His eyes were all fucking rolled out
like he was sucking on an LSD
chocolate bar or something, you know.
So I felt
sorry for the little twat. He was
laying on the ground, all pulverized and whatnot.
So you ran, Ruth, he brought him in the kitchen and put him in a little box,
and I could see his little feet twitching, and his, you know, his poor thing, he was breathing,
and I thought, oh, my God, I've got to help this little fuck.
So, you know, I put him in the box, and I put a nice little, you know, a cloth over his body
to keep the little bastard warm, and I went back to watch television with your uncle Harry.
Well, you know, the little bird just caught its breath, so to speak, Angel.
And I guess, you know, the thing came around quicker than I thought,
and all of a sudden, you know, all of a sudden the goddamn grackle
or whatever the hell it is is flocking around a goddamn living room.
And your uncle Harry's waving his cane around like he's Babe Ruth on a fucking, you know,
the World Series baseball game.
He's just trying to hit a home run with this goddamn grackle.
and, you know, it's flying around
and it lands in my wig
for Christ's sake.
And, you know, these birds
have clawed feet.
They look like, you know,
fucking, you know,
Doris Day after a day
of peeling oranges
at a fucking pine cone festival
or something, you know,
Angel.
And so all of a sudden
this fucking crackles
got a hold of my wig
and he lifted right off my head
and now we got my orange wig
flying around the goddamn living room
and your uncle Harry
swinging at my fucking wig
like a, you know, a little Mexican
boy, a pinata trying to
get a bunch of candy out of a donkey's
ass, Angel, and, you know,
I'm sitting there, and I'm bald as
Yul Brenner for fuck sake. I look
like Cojack just had babies
on a fucking mule
yacht, whatever that needs,
and I'm like sighing, and I'm screaming
and your uncle areas, it's like we
have a wig bat and flying around
the fucking house, and he's swinging
away and missing, of course, he's
knocked the light bulb out, and he smash some pictures off the wall, and I'm like, open the goddamn door, Harry, let the fucking wig bat out or whatever the fuck it is.
So, Harry finally stumbles to the door, and I'm screaming and crying. I look bald as a fucking shaved cactus, Angel.
So we open the door, and this goddamn wig bat flies out, and it flocks right onto a little kid who's riding his pike down the sidewalk, of course, Angel.
And, you know, he gets straight in his face, and suddenly this little boy must have been nine years old reminded me of you, by the way, little angel.
Do you remember when you used to ride your bike up and down the street, remember?
And that one time you drove right through a big pile of dog shit, and you swerved and slid all over the street and rammed into the garbage truck and knocked your front fucking teeth out, little angel.
Oh, you were so cute.
anyways, this fucking
grackly wing bat
flies right into this fucking boy's
face, and now he can't see
so now he's driving all over the
sidewalk, he veers right into
traffic, he gets hit by a fucking
Corvette stingray for Christ's sake
flies up in the air
lands in the passenger seat
because it was a convertible, I mean
it's still warm enough that people
can drive with their hoods down
angel, and now this fucking
kid's driving around with a completely
stranger, me and Uncle Harry
run in the house and we issue an
Amber Alert because we think this
fucking kid's been abducted by
someone in a fucking
silver Corvette Stingray.
So, you know, we tell the police
and they put out an amber alert,
please watch for a young
child with a red wig and a bird
on his fucking face and a
silver corvette stingray.
And all this from, you know, just
the whole neighborhood's in a panic
angel and this fucking child's
taken, who knows where, maybe to be
sodomized behind a Denny's.
Who knows what's going to happen?
I mean, what child pervite
doesn't like a boy with an orange wig
on his face and a grackle in his
fucking hair, you know?
So, you know, this is just the world we live in,
Angel. So now the whole
neighborhood's shitting its pants
because my fucking crackle wigs
on a fucking abducted boy's face
and some child pervert,
who knows if Jared from Subway
sandwiches drives a silver corp
that it's possible it looks like he did well with his whole sandwich campaign and now he's got a
fucking boy with a wig on his head pleasuring his submarine sandwich for Christ sake and we're just
all so upset and we're waiting to find out what happened to wig face crackle fuck the little boy that's
your uncle Harry calls him not me child but anyways angel I shouldn't continue with all this but
I just wanted to let you know and we're going to be okay we'll keep your poster
happened with the amber lid and hopefully that little sucks okay and we get the wig off his
face and more than anything i just want my hair back angel and i wanted you to know we're thinking
about you and we love you and you're our little sickle-faced angel uncle harry wants to say i
harry will you say hi to your nephew here you little holland will he's down in hollywood harry
Oh, Jerry mumbles like he's got a goddamn koala fart stuck in his throat for Christ's sake.
Anyways, we both love you, Angel, and we'll let you know what happens with the rig-faced boy, okay?
Thank you.
We love you.
Call me when you can it.
And Ruthie loves you.
Oh, my God.
What's that, Harry?
You can see him rolling down the stairs.
Oh, my God.
Call the police.
Oh, my God.
What?
man can we take a normal phone call roger just like a normal voicemail from from one of the pavement
pounders that's not crazy that's not weird that's not fucking manic like that please thank you
hey harland it's pod guy from the pod couple podcast i was listening to your podcast the other day
and you were talking about your water bed and uh i think you were even
inviting somebody to quote take a nap in it so and something about some kind of voodoo skull above it well i was just wondering
if you had a boogie van with the water bed in it did you have a shag and wagon harland was it tricked out
was the inside covered with crushed velvet shag carpet maybe you had some
beaded curtains in your boogie van?
Did it have that crazy bubble thing on the side?
What was up with that thing? Like, did you have to actually cut into the van to put that
bubble window in there? I don't know.
What about, did you have a chain steering wheel?
What did you have painted on the side?
Did you have psychedelic wizards, magic mushrooms, naked slave girls?
maybe the cover of pink Floyd's dark side of the moon
yeah well
I bet you would go cruising for chicks
and have the fog hat cranked
or maybe April wine
I don't know
Harlan did you have a boogie van
did you ever want one
I did
anyways
keep on trucking Highland
um
yeah that that's what I mean like a normal
phone call, a normal, just
normal, no bullshit.
Just average.
Yeah, my water bed,
you know, hey, if you
want to take a nap in my water bed
with the water buffalo skull hanging over the top,
you have at it, man.
It's not at my house. I keep
it at one of those
rental garages, you know, the
orange ones. You can buy
like a garage.
with an orange door and rent it.
That's where I keep my waterbed.
So, you know, I'll give you the combo to the lock
and you go have a nice slumber.
Yeesh.
But speaking of the van,
now that's familiar territory.
Well, I was just wondering
if you had a boogie van with a waterbed in it.
Did you have a shaggin wagon, Harland?
Was it tricked out?
Oh, the shaggin, the boogie van, the shaggin wagon.
What this gentleman's talking about is back in the 70s,
and yes, I was alive and walking the streets in the 70s.
God, where has the time gone?
There was a time for about maybe five years
when the rage was to have a van.
And not just a van, like, you know, the same vans they have today,
but back then they would trick them out, man.
They would get vans, and what you kind of had to do to be part of the clique is you had to gut the inside, fill it with shag carpet and put a bed in it, and you'd cut holes in the back sides of the upper panel, and you'd put a little black window that was shaped like a porthole or a circle, and it would bubble out.
Some of them had a teardrop-shaped bubble window and you had a CB radio and you had a bar inside and you had seats and you had stereo speakers all the way through and you can open the back and people could party in your van.
And then the Piaustor resistance is, of course, you had to have the mag wheels and all this and that.
But the big deal was you had to have an airbrushed mural on the side of your shaggin wagon.
man.
You had to have, like, oh, these elaborate airbrushed paintings were done on the side.
It'd be a caveman, you know, taking 12 polar bears for a walk, or it'd be like, you know, Thor, the god of thunder.
It'd be like a skull.
Or it'd be like, you know, a dragon with fire coming out of its face.
I mean, these vans were like, there were whole magazines dedicated to these vans.
It was like a whole cool scene, man.
You were the coolest person in the world if you had a tricked-out custom van.
Did you ever want one?
I did.
Anyways, keep on trucking, Ireland.
Aw, maybe I did, too, you know?
I mean, what young kid didn't want one?
But here's where it gets cool.
I had an older cousin.
My cousin, Tommy Williams, on my dad's side.
And he had one, man.
oh yeah we'd go over to his house or he'd come over to our place
I mean it was it was amazing he was like he was like my god he was the coolest guy ever
knew man he had like a brown like copper colored van
and he had the teardrop bubble window in the back and he had the mag wheels
and you'd go inside and I can't remember but I think he I know he had shag carpet I think
it was purple he didn't have the crush
velvet, but he had the purple-like interior, like the walls and the ceiling were shaggy.
He might have had like a velvet couch or something.
I know there was other stuff in there.
My memory's a bit foggy, but then I remember sitting up in the front seat, he had tricked
out like the panel, you know, the front panel, and he'd put like a, you know, you got the panel
where your steering wheel is, and you got the odometer and the spadometer and the gas gauges
and the radio and all that stuff, and it all lights.
up. So what he had did is he'd built a customized wooden panel up above where the sun
visors are. So you had your first panel where the steering wheel was, but then you'd go up and
up above. He had all these things and he had a CB radio up there and he had like a stereo and
he had big speakers. Oh my God, it was so cool. And I'll never forget it, man. We're sitting
in there and he started playing that song by Meatloaf, Paradise by the Dux. Paradise by the
dashboard light.
And so here I am, this little kid.
I can't remember.
I was probably like eight or nine years old.
And I'm sitting in my big cousin Tommy's, like, tricked out van.
And it was like magic, man.
It was like being in the cockpit of a jet engine, man.
Everything was lit up and green.
And there was shag on the dashboard.
And there was my cool cousin.
He had like a tom cell.
like a mustache and he was like he's just cool and I knew Tommy had lots of like hot girlfriends
and and I was like oh man look at me and my cousins grown up like tricked out van bro
and it's just kind of like a magical childhood memory that I've I've always retained so if
nothing else my sad friend who has no water bed or no van to lay in you've you've triggered some
fond memories for me and uh man it just just awesome and i was like oh man i got like the coolest
cousin man like he's got he's got one of these crazy bands and he's like oh he's so i just thought
he was the coolest man and the van was the coolest and then and then the whole van thing just
kind of faded away eventually and i never i should ask him one day whatever happened to is his
boogie van or whatever you call it
I don't I can't remember if you have the chain steering
wheel or but I seem to remember everything was kind of
customized right
so I hope that answers your question man
like I said you're free to use the
the water bed it's in the storage unit
and no no boogey van for me
but man I wish I had one
just the way it sounds like you wish you had one
I don't know.
Island, did you have a boogie van?
Did you ever want one?
I did.
Anyways, keep on trucking, Ireland.
Yeah, man, I'll keep on trucking.
Let's both keep on trucking in our boogie vans in the imaginations of our minds.
How's that?
Why don't we just pretend we have them?
And that'll make everything okay, all right?
There you go.
So let's see.
What else is going on?
What else is going on?
Let's do some announcements.
I think we end the show on that happy little memory, right?
Let's see.
Let's see.
What do we got?
We got some stand-up comedy gigs coming up.
Oh, yeah.
Tonight I start in Schaumburg, just outside of Chicago, ladies and gentlemen.
Schaumburg, Illinois.
Yes, indeed.
at the improv, that'll be October 28th, September 28th to October 1st.
God, I keep making that mistake.
September 28th to October 1st, come and check me out.
Tickets at Harlow Williams.com.
And then later in the month, I'll be in Irvine, California at the improv.
And then it'll be at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California.
Then I'll be in Buffalo, New York, at the Helium Club.
Then I'm going to be in San Jose at the improv
And then Edmonton at the House of Comedy
So check out my website, harlandwilliams.com.
Go to the stand-up comedy tour link
And you can book your tickets in advance.
Please, while you're there, check out our merch store at harlewilms.com.
Buy yourself some fun gifts.
Also, join our premium membership at harlewilms.com.
20 bucks a year.
Get you all the podcasts.
all of the podcast ever recorded of the Harland Highway.
And also get our free app at Harlowiams.com.
And it's all groovy, man.
It's all groovy.
So, yeah, man, let's keep motoring.
Let's close it up, Raj.
For another show, another successful podcast.
We'll leave you with the remainder of the,
The meatloaf song.
And that's it.
Until next time, chicken chow ma'am, baby.
Before we go any further, do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away?
Will you make me away?
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
never leave me will you make me so happy for the rest of my life will you take me away will
you make me a wife i got to know right now before we go any further till you love me will you love me
forever let me sleep on it baby baby let me sleep on it let me sleep on it i'll give you
an answer in the morning let me sleep on it
Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.
Well, let me sleep on it.
I'll give you an answer in the morning.
Let me sleep on it.
Baby, baby, baby, let me sleep on it.
Well, let me sleep on it.
I'll give you an answer in the morning.
I got a move right now.
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away?
And will you make me a while?
Have I got a more right now?
Before we go any further, do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
What's it gonna be, boy?
Come on.
I can wait all night.
What's it gonna be, boy?
Yes or no?
What's it gonna be, boy?
Yes?
Or...
No.
No.
Baby, let me sleep on it.
Well, let me sleep on it.
I'll give it one out when I'm on it.
I gotta know right now.
Do you love me?
Will you love it forever?
Do you sleep on it?
Will you never need me?
Will you sleep on it?
I'll give me one and turn.
Will you take me to love me.
I'll tell you leave my morning!
Before we go in the further, do you love me,
will you love me forever?
Will you love me forever?
Let me sleep on it
Will you love me forever?
Let me sleep for it
Will you love me forever
I couldn't take it any longer
God I was crazy
when the feeling came up on me like a tired of wake
started swearing to my God and on my mother's grave
that I would love it till the end of time
I swore I would love you till the end of time
So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry open and ride
Because if I gotta spend the end of time
If I gotta spend another many with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise
or forget my vow
But God only knows that I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
That's all that I can do
Prayin' for the end of time
So I can end my time with you
It was long
away
So much better than it is for me
It's more much better than it is for me
It's long ago
And then it's far away
Never told me
No let me
No longer go
It's gone away
It's so much better
than I love to see
But if it's no longer
It's going
Never fall to know and never far away
And never fall in a low
Let's see
Never far away
Never far away
Never go ahead
You know what I think they're going to go and never found a day and it's going to throw my back
There's no one of love to be going to go and go and a song to go and I'm going to life