The Harland Highway - 912 - National BOSSES DAY with Mr. Featherstone. LASER weapons and hidden delights.
Episode Date: October 16, 2017We celebrate BOSSES DAY with Mr. Featherstone. LASER weapons and hidden delicious delights. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy info...rmation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey, hey, hey, it's the Harlan Highway. Yes, it is. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the
Harlan Highway, baby. Great to have you here today. Did you know that today is National Bosses Day?
Yeah, Monday, October 16th is National Bosses Day, so we've decided to try to go up and make nice with my boss, Mr. Featherstone, on the 12th floor, and we're going to
surprise them with a present and see if that kind of helps build our relationship and make it
a little stronger because it has been a little rocky, a little testy over the years.
Let's see what happens.
So National Bosses Day with me and Mr. Featherstone.
Also, I'm going to give you an update on a story I did about laser technology, the weaponization or the weaponizing of
of laser technology and how it could help us in the future to win wars
and intimidate our adversaries and so on and so forth.
There's been some really incredible advances in the technology.
And then later in the show I'm going to be talking about the game of hide-and-go-seek,
but with your food.
Have you ever played hide-and-go-seek with your food?
I bet you don't think you have, but I bet you have.
Waiting you hear about it.
It's all coming up here on the Harlan.
Highway
Put on your seatbelt
It's about to get bumpy
Oh, how perfectly awful
I get my kids above the waistline
Sunshine
When will they take the bandages off?
We don't know who we are
We don't know where we are
You're riding down the Harland Highway
Let us out of here
Please!
Let me tell you.
you you're starting something here that that's what you should be frightened of
oh fuck yeah but just leave us alone sit down strap in and shut up what's going on what's the
matter i thought maybe if i could kill him i could make him stop my mother never breastfed me
she told me she liked me he's a friend who are we this is the harland highway what it's the
Harlan Highway.
It's a cup of!
All right, let's start the show with something to scream about, if we must.
A few podcasts back, I talked about my theory about laser technology and how the U.S.
government and the military probably had advanced laser capabilities to, if they needed
to float some kind of spacecraft.
or aircraft over North Korea
and just shoot lasers down into the bunkers
where North Korea houses its nuclear weapons
and just take them out in one like kind of
just like systematically knock them out, right?
Without any warning, without any sound,
without any advanced preparation by North Korea.
And it sounded very sci-fi.
I was like, I'm sure the U.S. government has some of this stuff already in their arsenal,
and there's probably weapons we don't even know about, and yada, yada, yada.
And as fate would have it, just recently I came across a news story here that kind of verifies what I was talking about.
I don't know if I was ahead of my time and talking about it, but I'm suspicious that I'm probably behind my time talking about it.
I'm convinced in my own head that the U.S. military probably has this kind of lethal laser technology.
But here's a news story I found that kind of backs up and verifies what I was talking about.
And this is a story from a civilian, so it probably doesn't even cover the gamut of how extensive the laser warfare technology is.
Have a listen.
Lasers sound like the stuff of science fiction, right?
Sound completely unbelievable.
How could our military possibly be using those in future warfare?
Guess what?
We've just had a recent breakthrough, more great test results
that are making lasers a reality.
So it's called Athena.
Locky Martin makes it,
and they've been doing a lot of the pioneering
in this laser field.
Now what's really exciting about it
is that it's so hard to harness that much power
and make it compact enough
that's actually going to make practical sense down range.
And they've proven that they can do that.
Recently, they tested it against five moving
drones so realistic drones that they might go up against with the enemy forces
might send against us for example or terrorists might send against us and it
successfully shot down all five of the drones this is huge news because it means
that in a realistic practical setting it's looking very promising so it could
be ready to field quite soon so when you see the movies or you look at comic
books or television shows when you see the laser weapons they tend to be a
color right red or green or something like that real lasers one of the key
advantage that they provide is that they are invisible. You actually can't see them. You
just see this damage suddenly starting to blow something up. So if we take a look now at what
the Athena did to a truck. So we're looking at a truck engine and the Athena within seconds
was able to beam right in there, heat the whole thing up, and burn through the engine of this
vehicle. So imagine if you were in that vehicle, all of a sudden, this hole would start
appearing in your engine and the whole thing would just disappear. That's what these
Now there's some other key advantages that we should mention.
Let me give you three of them.
One, unlimited ammo.
As long as we have power, we have an unlimited magazine.
And downrange, of course, having unlimited ammo can be a huge advantage.
Second, it's silent.
You don't give the enemy any advance warning that it's coming.
Now, the third one I wanted to touch on is that it travels at the speed of light.
So not only are we delivering powerful, decisive effects, lethality,
we're also doing it so rapidly they don't know what hit them.
So if you can circle back to that example,
of being in the car again, that would happen so instantaneously, within seconds, you truly would
have no idea what was happening. It would just suddenly start disintegrating, right? So what could we
use these against? So we talked about the vehicle a bit. We talked about how Athena has just
proven itself against drones. But in the real world application, our forces could use it
against the drones. We could use it against aircraft. We could use it against vehicles on the ground,
like we mentioned. We could also use it against fat's attack boats. And in fact, Athena's sibling,
Adam, a couple years ago, proved that it could eliminate these fast attack boats.
So if you imagine, boats start trying to swarm one of our ships.
Not a problem for this laser.
It burns right through the hull.
As you can see right there, it's burning right through the hull.
I'm incredibly excited about this news, this great news, about the successful testing of Athena,
because it means that we'll be putting these powerful weapons soon we could put them in the hands
for warfighters and give them even more powerful weaponry to keep themselves safe and also to deliver
the effects that we need. They can be used, laser weapons can be used offensively and of course
defensively, too, to help protect our homeland. Think of our airports that might be under threat
from enemy drones. It could be used to protect, our to use them statically and used to protect our
airports. They could be used to protect our power grid, our nuclear plants. So there's lots of
different exciting applications for this technology. There's no longer science fiction, but science
fact. Wow. So there you go. See, I wasn't too far off base. And I think we all know that they've been
developing lasers over the last number of decades,
but I think they're becoming more and more a reality
as to how modern warfare will be fought.
And it's pretty amazing.
As she said, you have an endless magazine,
magazine meaning ammunition.
As long as you have a power source for the laser beam to fire,
you can just keep firing and firing and firing.
and it's invisible and it's silent and I'm guessing that its range is pretty infinite.
I mean, you've seen laser beams.
They can shoot right up into space for God's sakes.
I mean, the stronger the laser beam, the farther it can shoot.
I don't know what the range is, but I'm guessing that they can probably, you know,
find their mark accurately over miles and miles and miles.
So I'll read this article here.
It might go over some of the stuff we already talked about,
but I think there's a little bit of extra info in here.
Here it is, silent, invisible, deadly,
the powerful Athena laser weapon can destroy enemy threats within seconds.
It just destroyed five outlawed drones.
For the United States, thanks to pioneering efforts of American companies like Lockheed Martin,
and the military, laser weapons are no longer the stuff from Star Wars and Star Trek.
In near-term future battles, the U.S. military can choose to bring laser weapons
mounted on vehicles, vessels, and more to war.
By comparison, the weapons of any enemy will look like bows and arrows, right?
Yeah.
Athena stands for Advanced Test High Energy Asset.
That's so cold, isn't it?
whenever they say asset, instead of gun or cannon or bomb,
it's just bring in the asset, bring in the asset.
Athena is one of the most exciting of these new American laser weapons.
During recent testing with the U.S. Army's Space and Missile Defense Command
at the Army's White Sound Missile Range in New Mexico,
the 30-kilawed weapons slayed five outlawed drones,
Not toy hobby-sized drones, but drones with nearly 11-foot wingspan.
So, in other words, this thing can take out real-time, real-life-sized aircraft.
Scoreboard, it said, 100% success.
And just two years ago, Lockheed Martin proved the Athena could also take down a truck
by burning through its hood engine from a mile away.
So that kind of answers the range question a little bit.
and I'm sure it can probably go farther than a mile.
There are many advantages to the laser weapons.
One advantage is unlimited bullets, as we discussed,
as long as there is power.
Another advantage is speed.
They work at the speed of light.
You think a bullet moves fast?
How about the speed of light?
Can you imagine a weapon that the second you hit the switch,
it instantaneously hits its target?
I mean, talk about taking out the enemy quickly.
You know, a lot of time on the battlefield,
I imagine you'd have to line up a target, shoot,
wait to see if the bullet impacted your target,
and then move on to your next target.
But at the speed of light, you're just like,
you can just hit everything right away.
As we discussed, they are also silent, invisible, and deadly.
Very healthy handy for stealth and surprise in the battlefield.
What else do we know about this thing?
Threats can come from any direction.
Athena's beam director and turret are designed to match this
so the weapons can fire 360 degrees.
So this weapon is just, it's like an owl's head spinning around.
How would it be used in the battle space?
Athena is powerful enough to destroy drones, vehicles, rockets, boats, and more.
One of the big challenges with lasers is how to make them truly practical.
To be practical, they need to be compact, lightweight, powerful, and transportable.
Yeah, I think the problem with laser weaponry up until now, it's been big and bulky,
and I think to create a laser, I don't know the exact science,
but I think you have to super heat light or super cool light or something.
And I think, from what I've seen, it takes big apparatus to achieve that effect.
The laser beam itself is just a small pinpoint of light,
but to achieve the laser effect, I think it takes a lot of machinery to generate the laser.
So making it compact and transportable is key.
They also need to be both precise and flexible to defeat rapidly moving vehicles.
As for laser weapons to make their debut in the battle space,
they have to be proven to be reliable with 100% success rate against the drones.
Things look very promising.
So yeah, this goes on and on and on.
But, you know, it's very interesting that, you know, this stuff is something I talked about recently.
Here's a little more.
Lockheed Martin has been pioneering in laser weapons systems for more than four decades.
Athena's upgrades and remarkable recent performance of defeating 100% of the drones is the latest exciting news in the laser family.
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So look out, World.
I mean, you know, what's next?
Well, in terms of the battlefield, the U.S. military will have the option to unleash laser weapons on vehicles.
vessels, and even aircraft.
The precision of lasers like Athena is already remarkable.
As the technology continues to advance at a rapid pace in the U.S.,
lasers like Athena will be able to strike farther and farther away
and destroy bigger and bigger targets.
And like I said, even though this sounds like it's breaking news,
I have a sneaky feeling.
I wouldn't be surprised in this Uber technological.
world we live in and given all the money and research the U.S. military does and pours into
testing weapons. I kind of have a sneaky feel and they already have an advanced laser
weapon system probably set up, locked, and ready to go. So when I talked about hanging something
in the sky over North Korea, a few podcasts back, and, you know, saying that the U.S.
can lock in on every, you know, nuclear weapons silo or site that North Korea has
and with one flick of a button could just, you know, light them all up at once.
I wouldn't be surprised if they already have it or if it's not too far down the road.
So there you go.
Just a little follow-up, a little update on, you know, that whole laser technology weapon.
conversation I started a few podcasts ago.
But maybe there's something more important going on right now.
Did you know that today is National Bosses Day?
And as you know, here at the Harlan Highway podcast,
I have my boss, Mr. Featherstone, up on the 12th floor.
And I don't really get along with him that well.
I find him a bit politically incorrect.
I find him rude.
I find him a bit homophobic.
I find him, you know,
a lot of things but roger my producer suggested that maybe i go up and visit him and give him a present on
national bosses day today and maybe that kind of helps with our relationship as employee and boss
and right out of the gate i was like are you kidding i'm not going to make an excuse to go up
and see this guy.
And Roger was like, hey, what if it makes our life easier?
What if it makes the podcast better?
What if Featherstone starts, you know,
giving us a little more money to do things and blah, blah, blah.
And I thought, you know what, maybe it's a nice gesture.
So we have a little gift basket here full of all kinds of little things.
Roger put it together.
And I'm going to go up and just visit the boss, Mr. Featherstone,
and try and make nice.
and see if we can start to forge a better relationship.
So, Roger, keep my mics live, hit a commercial or something.
I'll get to the elevator and get up to his floor,
and everyone listening can hear how it goes.
Because I think maybe despite my trepidations,
this might be a good move.
And maybe Roger, yes, I'm looking at you.
You might be right this time, Rod.
So hit a commercial, and off we go up to the 12th floor to visit Mr. Featherstone.
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Well, here I am.
I'm up on the 12th floor in the lobby here,
the reception area, waiting to go in and see Mr. Featherstone.
I got this great big gift basket.
I don't even know what Roger put in this thing.
But I think it'll be a nice gesture.
Oh, there's Betty.
Hi, Betty.
How are you today?
Good to see you.
That's Mr. Featherstone's receptions.
Hi, Betty.
Okay, well, the middle finger from Betty seems to be the regular.
Okay, we can go in?
Okay, here we go.
Let me get this basket.
God, this thing's heavy.
Bring this in through the door here.
Here we go.
Thank you, Betty.
Same to you.
Hello, hello, sir.
Hello?
Yes, sir.
It's me.
Who the hell are you?
sir it's harland harland williams i've been up in your office a million times well maybe i should call security
sir it's harland williams from the harland williams podcast the what the podcast the podcast
the plod blod glot sir it's pronounced podcast plod splod sir can i put this basket down
Who the hell carries a basket?
What are you?
What do you mean, what am I?
A full-grown guy carrying a basket?
Why don't you just skip around the room with it there, Lord Fortnoyd?
Sir, if I could, this is a present for you.
I'm putting it on your desk here.
There we go.
What are you doing bringing a basket to my office?
And who are you again?
Sir, it's Harlan Williams from the Harlan Highway.
podcast. Oh,
Ola Walla from the Plod Splot Blodglot.
Sir, I brought you a present.
Looks like you brought me a basket.
What are you, a little light in the loafers or what?
Who, what full grown man walks around with a basket?
Sir, if you're going to start right away, I'm going to take it right back.
Wait a minute, what do you got this thing?
Sir, I brought this for you.
It's National Boss's Day, and it's a gift to you from me, you're your employee.
Wait a minute.
I employ you?
Yes, sir.
Oh, boy.
What's that mean?
Oh, boy.
Sir?
Ah.
Sir?
Ah.
Wait a minute.
Are you the guy that hangs out at the funny little bars downtown on the weekends?
Sir, I don't hang out at funny little bars downtown on the weekends.
Sir, I don't hang out at funny little bars.
on the weekends.
Oh, really?
That's right, sir.
All right, how about the sticky bowling ball hole?
The sticky bowling ball hole.
That's right.
I'd never even heard of it, sir.
Ah.
Sir?
Ah.
Sir, if you wouldn't mind just looking through your basket, there's some presents in there.
Before I look through the basket.
Okay.
Let me ask you something.
Yes, sir.
Have you ever farted in a Home Depot?
What?
Have you ever blasted a fart at a Home Depot in the grass seed aisle?
It blows the grass seed all over the place.
Sir, I don't fart on grass seed.
Well, you should try it.
Sir, if you would just get to your basket here and focus...
All right, well, let me see what you got here.
Looks like you did some nice wrapping.
Well, thank you, sir.
Actually, Roger did the wrapping, but I'm glad you like it.
I didn't say I liked it.
I said, I question a guy who's good with wrapping paper.
Well, what's that mean, sir?
Uh, sir?
Uh.
Sir, if you would open your...
I'm opening.
What do we got here?
What the hell is this a jar of Vaseline?
Um, uh, uh, uh, you... well, yes.
Sir, Vaseline's good if you have a cold sore or you need to wash your hands or are you shitting me?
I'll tell you what Vaseline's good for.
It's good for waxing up a glory hole at the shell station.
Sir?
You know what I'm talking about, Knight Rider.
Sir, I do not know.
I don't know.
Roger picked that out.
Vaseline, huh?
Why don't you save this for your party boys down to that funny little bar?
at 12th and 9th.
What funny little bar, sir?
You know, the
fluorescent light bulb?
The fluorescent light bulb.
Ah, sir?
Ah.
Sir, that Roger picked out the Vaseline.
What else we got here?
What the hell is this?
A cinnamon-scented candle from the pottery barn?
Well, sir, that they make your room smell nice.
Yeah, they make your room smell nice
If your room smells like mansex
Sir?
Oh yeah, I don't think I don't know
When you guys get steaming away on each other
The room doesn't smell like
Olive oil and linseed grease
Linsed grease
What the hell is that?
Uh-huh
Sir
Ah
Sir Roger picked out the cinnamon candle
And the Vaseline
Well, yes, sir
Let me ask you something
Okay
Have you ever farted
Sir, I don't want to talk about farting anymore
Have you ever farted into a bowl of alphabet soup
Sir, I don't fart into soup
Sometimes if you fart hard enough
It blasts the letters all around
And you can spell things
Sir
I swear to God I had a bowl of alphabet soup
A couple of years ago
I farted into it
and I spelled the word giraffe.
Sir, I do not fart into bowls of alphabet soup.
What else you got in here?
Well, I don't know, sir.
Let's see, what is this?
What the hell is this thing?
I'm not sure what that is, sir.
What is this?
There's like a switch on the bottom here.
What is this?
I wouldn't turn that if I were used, sir.
What the hell?
What is this thing vibrating in my hand for?
I don't think it's vibrating, sir.
I think it's a back massager.
What is it shaped like a man's?
You know what?
Sir, maybe you want to put that one back.
Wait a minute.
Is this one of your funny guy toys, sex toys?
Sir, I...
Roger put these gifts together.
I think he might have been pulling a practical joke on me.
I think that's actually for girls.
I think it's what they call a...
A what?
Well, it looks like a personal vibrator, sir.
Oh, my God.
What's the matter with you?
Coming up here with your cinnamon candles and your Vaseline?
And now I get a boy toy?
Sir, it's not a boy toy.
They're for girls.
Oh, really?
And since when do girls put Vaseline and cinnamon candles on the boy toy?
Sir, I, listen.
I know this looks a little weird
But a little weird
How about I just feel like I fell into the middle
Of a midnight fairy dance
On a beach covered with dildos
Sir, I don't want
The idea was not to make you feel like
You fell into a fairy dance
On a beach full of dildos
Well that's how I'm feeling, fly guy
Fly guy
Uh huh
Sir, listen, Roger, Roger said, and who's Roger?
Well, he's my partner downstairs.
Oh, so you got a partner.
Well, why don't you take this pervert boy toy basket and go down and play with your guy toy?
He's not my guy toy, he's my producer.
I bet he produces.
Sir?
Now, listen, you take this disgusting garbage out of here, and because of this prank, I'm cutting your budget.
5%
Sir, no, it was intended to
Get out of here, wait a minute, there's one more
What's this thing?
Sir, I wouldn't open that if I were you
Hang on, what the hell is this?
Um, uh,
Sir, I, I, uh, I'm not sure what that is, sir.
Well, it looks like a, a bunch of balls on a string.
Um, uh, maybe it's, uh, one of those, like, uh, the things
for your nerves, you,
You fumble it.
It's a long string with golf ball-sized ball bearings on it.
Um, I don't know what that is, sir.
Wait a minute.
What's this little Benoit ass ball says the tag says, what a Benoit ass balls?
Sir, I've got to go, sir.
You get back here.
I've got to go, sir.
Happy Bosses Day.
Thank you, sir.
You get back here.
Sorry, sir, I got to go.
I said get back to you, free.
All right, sir.
Hi, Betty.
Thank you for everything.
Great to see you as always.
Yeah, up yours too.
Yeah, great to see you.
Okay, I got to get back downstairs.
Okay, great.
I'm going to kill Roger.
I am going to kill that idiot.
Set me up that son of a bit.
God!
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Oh, so you thought this was funny, huh, Raj?
Yeah, well, I'm not laughing, man.
You know what?
Instead of it helping the show, he just cut 5% of our budget.
Stop laughing.
Dude, unbelievable, man.
It's like, I trusted you.
You give me a gift basket.
It's full of, like, provocative items.
Vaseline, candles, Benwobles.
Or as, don't tell me anal beads.
Whatever, whatever they are, dude.
You got a twisted sense of humor, Raj,
and I don't appreciate it, dude.
You think this 5% cut isn't going to affect you
as much as it as me?
Smart play, Shakespeare.
So much for national bosses.
can we just move on i want to do a nut let's do something else god what a dorcas i'm just
gonna black you out while i do this next bit man clear my head hi aye yi so anyways you ever hear
the game guide hide and seek hide and seek you ever play that when you're a kid hide and seek
hide and seek hide and seek well you ever have hide and seek with your food
Here's what I'm talking about.
And this is kind of fun.
I kind of like it when this happens.
You ever order a dish like it's a complicated dish where it's a bunch of things mashed together?
You get it a lot when you order Thai food or, you know, if you order pad Thai or you order, you know, a lot of Asian food like Chinese food like chop suey or chowman or, you know, some kind of rice like shrimp fried rice or chicken fried rice.
like that, right? And basically they get a dish of noodles, or you get a dish of rice, or you get
something complicated like gumbo or like a chowder, or something where there's a bunch of stuff
mixed together, right? And let's say there's a certain item in the collection of food
that makes up this concoction. Like, let's say, for example, gumbo. I'm a big gumbo.
fan, right? And so sometimes when I'm out, I'll order gumbo, and I like the chicken and shrimp
gumbo. So if you don't know what that looks like, it's like a thick kind of brown sauce with
peppers and sausage and onions and you got chunks of chicken and you got shrimp and then you mix
it all in with some rice. And so it becomes like this big kind of messy dish, but it's
delicious. You know, it's kind of spicy and really yum.
I'm salivating, just talking about it.
And what I love is when you start eating these types of foods
and you're about halfway through and you're like, oh, man, I ate all the shrimps, man.
Oh, there's no more shrimps in my gumbo.
There's lots of chicken and sausage and peppers, but, man, I wish there were some more shrimps.
Damn it, I really like the flavor of the shrimps.
and then you start moving food around, right, on your plate.
You know, you push a little spoonful of rice this way,
and you slide some chicken that way,
and you push some sausage in the other direction,
and there it is, hiding under a pepper.
You just see the tail of a shrimp stick it out.
You're like, oh, my God, oh, my God, there's a shrimp.
I knew there's one more in here.
I knew there's, oh, my God, I'm so happy.
I get an extra shrimp.
I thought they were all gone, but now there's another one.
Oh, my God.
Right?
It's like hide and seek with your food.
And what's even better is you find the one shrimp and you think, okay, I'm done.
And then you like roll over a big clump of rice and there's another shrimp.
Oh, my God, there's another shrimp, just what I wanted.
Oh, this is so good.
So it's kind of like you have this game of hide and seek going on in your food dish.
and you get pleasantly surprised as you go along.
It just makes me so happy.
You know, it just like reinvigorates the meal
because you're kind of sad that this one flavor,
this one item has kind of moved on
and, you know, you ordered shrimp and chicken,
but now the shrimp is all gone, so now it's just chicken.
But then suddenly when these magical shrimp appear
that have been hiding,
suddenly it's shrimp and chicken again.
Yay!
And I know it's the simple things in life
that makes yours truly happy.
But I just thought I'd ask,
see if you guys are the same way,
if you get excited when you have like a hide-and-go-seek
food item in your meal.
Just musing out loud here,
trying to keep things delicious on the Harlan Highway.
The saffrons in your treat
Oh yeah
I think we end the show on a delicious high
You know thinking about delicious food treats
Yum
Now I want some chicken and shrimp gumbo baby
Anyways
Hey I know the podcast was a little bit late today
But we still got it out to you on the Monday
When we're supposed to
I've just been having a busy freaking schedule lately gang
And it's been making it tight for me
me to get this these podcast done but uh you know the fall is always a very busy time a year for me
i'm touring and i'm i'm i'm just working on my puppy dog pals show at disney and i'm working on
some other ideas and i'm editing my new comedy special together and i'm i'm writing a new
uh sitcom pilot and i'm just so slammed but i'm doing my best to keep up with the pods and uh
thanks for your patience everybody hopefully things slowed down a little bit as we get uh you know
further along here but uh i'm keeping her going i love doing it and i love having you here so
uh hope you're having a good time um thanks for being here uh if you want to catch me doing some
comedy i was talking about my tour uh this saturday you can catch me in burbank california
at flappers comedy club uh one night only
It's Saturday, October 21st.
So please come out and have a good time with me there.
And then the following Saturday, this is cool, folks.
This is a big announcement.
This is only the second time ever I've done the Harland Highway podcast live.
I did it live once a few years ago at Sketchfest in San Francisco.
And it was a little nerve-wracking, but I'm going to be doing it again in Tempe.
Arizona on October 28th, Saturday, that's two weeks, October 28th, at the Tempe Improv in Tempe, Arizona.
That's right there in Phoenix.
So if you're in the hood and you want to come out, I'm going to be doing like an hour
podcast, which is longer than I normally do.
And then after the podcast, I'm going to do like a half hour of stand-up comedy for everybody.
So it's like a combo show.
So podcast and then stand-up comedy.
So pretty wild.
Something I've never done before.
And even if you can't make it, we are going to record it for you.
And we'll present it to you a live Harlan Highway podcast.
So you never know how that's going to go.
So get your tickets.
You can go to Harlan Williams.com and get your tickets for the live Harlan Highway.
recording in Tempe, Arizona, October 28th, or Flappers, or, let's see, the following weekend, I'll be in Buffalo, New York at the Helium Comedy Club.
That's November 2nd to November 5th, the Helium Comedy Club in Buffalo, New York.
And then mid-November, I'll be in San Jose, California.
November 16th to the 19th, and yeah, good, good time.
So get your tickets at Harlowiams.com.
While you're there, visit our store.
We have a lot of fun merchandise for you at our web store.
We'll mail you shirts and books and videos and DVDs and all kinds of stuff, man.
So check that out.
Also, don't forget if you want to.
to write to me.
You can write to me at harloughwilms.com on our little contact link.
Or you can even call me and leave a message at the Harland Highway.
323-739-43330, 323739-43330.
Love to hear from you.
We might put your message on the air.
Also, don't forget to become a premium member for $20.
a year. You get the whole back catalog of the Harlan Highway from episode one all the way up.
And that is a good deal. $20 a year for that. Plus bonus, some bonus material that we supply to you.
Actually, I got a really funny stand-up comedy routine I did that I'm going to be posting to the premium members later this week.
It was really fun. I did this experiment where I decided to do my whole,
comedy routine in a British accent.
So it was kind of weird and kind of funky.
So I'll be playing that just for premium members.
And as I said, $20 a year,
these are the kind of little bonus treats you get from time to time
being a premium member.
So Harlan Williams as a British comedian.
I don't know.
It's kind of funky and weird.
And also don't forget to get our free app.
Yes, sir.
You can get our app on your cell phone.
Just go into your cell phone, into your app store.
Type in the Harlan Highway podcast.
Boom!
You are in, man.
Totally free of charge for that.
You can listen to us wherever you go.
So, yes, please tell your friends about the Harlan Highway.
Get them on board.
As I said, I'm working hard on my new stand-up comedy special Carmel Corn the Pug.
We're almost done with the show.
the edit and hopefully I'll have some news for you when and where you can see that special.
We're not sure if we're going to release it this year for the holidays or maybe launch it early
in the new year. So, stand by for that and Carmel Corn the Pug will be coming your way
very soon, ladies and gurgle glargens. That's it for now. Hey, thanks for being here. Until next time,
everybody. As you know, chicken. Chalman, baby. I swear to God, I had a bowl of alphabet soup a couple
of years ago. I farted into it and I spelled the word giraffe.