The Harland Highway - 930 - SPECIAL GUEST Gary Cannon, from the Conan O'Brian Show!

Episode Date: February 12, 2018

SPECIAL GUEST Gary Cannon, from the Conan O'Brien Show, talks about the special role he plays on the hit show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a show. What a show. What a crazy, crazy, crazy show. Hello, everybody. This is Harlan Williams, your host of the Harlan Highway podcast, Playa. What a show we have today. What an exciting, fun, cool show this is. Are you fans of Conan O'Brien? I think we've all grown up and had Conan O'Brien in our living rooms over the years. And there's many facets to the Conan O'Brien show. And today I have a very special guest. He's a funny guy. He's a comedian. He's a stand-up. He's a writer. But more than that, he works at the Conan O'Brien show.

And I think you're going to be very fascinated at what capacity he works at the show. He has a very, very unique job. He does something that only a few people in the world do. So we'll get into it with my special guest, Gary K. We're going to talk to Gary about dating. We're going to talk to him about the end of the world. And we're also at the end of the show going to play the famous Too Soon or Not Too Soon game with our special guest today on the Harlan Highway from Conan O'Brien, stand-up comedian, Gary Cannon.

Right here on today's incredible episode of the Harland Highway. I have an announcement to me. You're about to go down the Harland Highway. Lock the door. I don't want to be a product of my environment. Shut up. I want my environment to be a product of me. You're riding down the Harlan Highway.

So, who do you have to fuck to get off this phone? I can get you off. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself. Ha! You're a cantaloupe. Tideon. Tadon.

Tadon. Tadon. Tadon. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. I'm ashamed, big daddy. That's why I'm a drunk when I'm drunk. I can stand myself. Keep bleeding on that tutor, Charlie, and you're going to get a shot in the mouth.

Act like a man. What's about you? I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening to Harlan Williams. The rest is bullshit, and you know it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it.

Here we go. Hey, everybody. This is Harlem Williams, and you are rolling down the Harland Highway. Man, I am, do you hear the little, like, spike in my voice here? I'm super excited and giddy. I'm like a, like, I feel like a little, like a girl on a all girls field hockey team that just scored the winning goal. I don't know why, but I have a special guest here today. He's super funny.

He's got a great career. He's got some really interesting stuff we're going to get into. And I want to welcome him to the Harland Highway. He's right here. Gary Cannon, how are you? Thank you, buddy. How are you, guys? First of all, thanks for having me.

I know that we tried to schedule this a couple of times. Oh, no problem, man. You asked me to be part of your Tempe Improv show. We went on location. Yeah, that was the only the second time I've ever done my podcast live. Really? Yeah. Did you like doing it in front of 400 people?

It was a little intimidating. Yeah. But it would have been great to have you there, but maybe next time. We got you here now. This is great. I'm just glad that we were able to do it because you and I have known each other for a long time. Yeah. A long time.

Because I remember when I used to do the audience warm up, and I know we'll get into this, when I used to the audience warm up at Carson Daily. Oh, yeah. I would show all the time. Yeah, I remember. He loved you. Yeah, we had a great time. Carson was really cool to me. And we did this thing where he knew I liked, like, taxidermied animals and stuff. And every time I went and was a guest on Carson Daly, he'd have a stuffed animal for me. Like, I've still got some in my house. I've got, like, bats and a stuffed cobra. It's bizarre, but I love it, man. Was that in your gift basket backstage? Or is that what he would give you on the inside? He would add that. He'd bring it in as a separate present. I just, I just, I just, I just, like, loved it but but now um another guy that i did a million times was conan o'brien and you work over

there i work over there and it's crazy because when i started at carson yeah conan was the lead in to carson because i remember at the end of the show would say stay tuned for last call with carson daily so and i remember here it's even crazier before i ever worked at conan this would have been two i i remember very well it was before nine eleven happened this would have been 2011 summer of 2011 guy brings that up right out of the gate wow okay what a bummer to a podcast wow dude thought we're going to have fun here today but all right now so I remember I went out to New York I never ever been out to New York before I went out to New York by myself did a bunch of fun touristy things on my own and one of the things on my agenda was to go see a taping of Conan I was a huge

fan cool he was on when I was in college so I remember him from 1993 when he started amazing So I go to a taping of the show. He's at 30 Rock. And I remember before the show starts, he comes out and starts doing his goofy dance and starts messing around with the audience. And I remember he pointed at me in the audience. And he said, come here and give me a hug. Again, I don't know, Conan. Wow.

I just came on to see the show. He came on to me. And then what I did was, as I gave him a hug, I grabbed his ass. Then you came on to him. Wow. I grabbed his ass. And then I gave him the old call me thing. and then he let me jump down on the floor

and give a hug to Max Weinberg and grab Max's drumsticks. How cool was that? So that was my first, and I've told Conan this since I started working on the show and I'm surprised he still allows me to be there. That's amazing. That's like that's kind of a big connection

and then later on in life you're there. Like later, you know, I remember I was a junior in college watching his show, the old theme song. I remember his first guest was John Goodman. I was a huge fan. the year 2000, all that other great stuff. And now to like just look at it and having been there now almost three years and look at like just how cool the journey has been from, you know, working at Craig Kilbourne, Craig Ferguson, Carson Daly, all the shows in between. And now to Conan, which is great.

Well, let's tell the crowd what it is you do there because they're probably thinking, well, this guy's at Conan every day. What the hell did? What are you doing there? So 99% of the shows that tape in L.A. I would say, well, maybe 90% of the shows that tape in L.A. have a studio audience. Right. A lot of them are single camera shows,

kind of like a young Sheldon or modern family. Those are single cameras. They don't have an audience. But a lot of shows like Ellen, Dr. Phil, Conan, the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, there's a live audience. So what they need is somebody to go out there before the show, prep the audience, get them ready, get them focused,

get them excited about the show, yep, let them know what's going on. Because a lot of people have never, ever, ever step foot, in a studio. Yeah, and they're awestruck. They're kind of looking around at the lights and the cameras. Yeah. Yeah, they're really mesmerized.

Well, I remember the first time I came out to LA, I went to see a taping of Frazier. Oh, wow. And I got there and I was like, oh, my God, there's a radio station. There's the living room. Wow. Maybe 30 minutes in, I'm like, I'm ready to go. Because the difference between a sitcom and a show like Conan, a sitcom can take four, five, six hours to take it. Oh, yeah.

Because there's so many scenes. They're rewriting the show on the fly. So you got a little bored? I got a little bored. You know what you should have done. You should have ran down and just hugged Kelsey Grammer and grabbed his ass. See if somebody else had the drumsticks? Why not?

So I, because I've done those before. I've done the sitcoms that take a long time to film. But the difference between like a Conan and an L and these like daytime talk shows or late night shows, they're live to tape. They start and stop all in an hour. And it's great. It's a really nice thing. And so you go in and like you what? You like get them going.

And you warm them up, right? I get them going. I get them excited. Just so the people know, you, you, it's like an empty stage. First guy they sing. And you come walking out with a microphone. Yes. Okay.

So at Conan. Right on Conan set. You're right on center stage. And I will tell you what's crazy is we run like a machine, which I think most shows do. Yeah, they do. Yeah. And Ellen, basically what happens right at four o'clock. Every last person is sat in the audience.

A sizzle real place. Seven minutes, best of, kind of best up highlight. Best of, yeah. Best of. 407, I go out there. I go out to a song, start getting the audience clapping along. And then I do 15 minutes. Boom, boom, boom.

As I'm doing the warm up, I'm kind of plucking people from the audience, putting them down on the floor, them having no idea what they're going to do. It's a little kind of fun dance contest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm picking people from every part of the audience. I bring them down on the floor. And as I'm doing that as I'm plucking people, I'm also setting up what's going on. Just so we're clear, you're plucking people with a pee?

Yes. Okay, because after I heard you were grabbing some asses, I thought maybe you, with a P. With a P. With a P. The plucking. Okay, good. This is not a Me Too movement. Okay, okay. So I'm one-on-one plucking people. And as I'm doing this, I'm also giving them the rules.

She's what's going to happen. The band's going to come out. Boom, boom, boom. Then Conan will come out. I'll do the monologue. Here are the guests on Tonight Show. The whole time, like throwing in these rules as I'm pulling people to the floor, making it funny goofy. So people don't really know what's going on, but they're hearing the rules.

Because the truth of it is, if you have people that are coming to the show, whether they're from Michigan, Ohio, whatever, they don't know how to behave. They don't have a clue. And they will do anything you tell them to do. Yeah. It's amazing to me, right? Oh, people, if you put anyone in front of a camera, they'll do and say almost anything. 100%. They just want to make the camera happy.

They think this is their moment. They think that maybe somebody will see them. But this is, I've seen that doing warm up on sitcoms where you'll bring somebody down to do a little talent show. And they're looking around thinking one of the producers will notice them. Oh, yeah, and they go full bore. You ever get the kids that sing? You ask someone to sing and suddenly it's like an audition for Star Search or American Idol. They're doing a song, getting the audience clapping along.

Oh, my God. Now, I love that because it's pulling time that I have to do. Yeah, right. I love it. That's what's great. But with Conan 407, I grab the mic, start going out there. And within 13 minutes, I'm getting the wrap-up sign. Yeah.

I do a final two minutes. And with the dance contest, I bring the band out. Yeah. Now it's about 423. Bring the band out. They do two pre-show songs. Yeah. It's now 430.

Show starts. Yeah. I'm never seen again. Wow. Because some shows that I have buddies that work at, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Myers. Yeah. Those guys have to go out during commercial breaks.

Right, right, right. Pump up the crowd. A couple of announcements. Boom, boom, boom. They don't want me anymore. She work 15 minutes a day. 15 minutes a day, four days a week, 30 weeks a year. So 30 hours a week.

That's great. And just so people are really clear, Gary's going out there and he's actually doing stand-up. You're doing stand-up. You're doing jokes. You're interacting with the crowd. It's not a straight, full routine, but you're slipping jokes in between asking people where they're from and what they do. Absolutely. So it's like kind of a 15 minutes of full-on entertainment.

entertainment by you. Yeah, it's funny because I had a buddy come over who works at Ellen. He came over to see me and I said, I feel guilty. I'm only working 15 minutes a day. And he said, well, listen, you have worked so many lousy shows to get to this point. But all your energy is going into this 15 minutes. Like you're really for 15 minutes working your ass off. And I'm not saying I'm doing what a construction worker does.

But for 15 minutes, like I am just boom, boom, boom. Like I'm just knocking the pins down. Oh, yeah. Because I want Conan to come out and feel great about the show. Oh, yeah. Well, plus it's an intimidating thing. I mean, it's, you know, I've done stand-up on Conan and the Tonight Show on Letterman. And, you know, it's different to go out and do stand-up in a studio where a lot of the focus is on technical issues, the lighting, the sound, the camera placement.

And so it's not like you're going out on a clean stand-up stage and the focus is just stand-up. So you've got to get them. And for you to do it every night with a full house, a new crowd, people that aren't familiar with the environment, they're distracted easily. It's not an easy job, man. So kudos to you. Well, and I will say whenever we have a comic on the show, whether it's their first time, whether it's the first time on Conan, network debut, whatever that is, I will literally give a two-minute speech about how important this night is for somebody. Because I really, I really think it's important. important because the idea is, the idea behind that is, I don't want somebody going out cold.

So, for example, tonight we did a show. You just came from Conan right now. I did. We did two shows today. So you did right off the cone and set right to the Harlan Highway. This is great. I don't know, which is better. Oh, wow.

Wait a minute. Why is your hand on my ass? What are you doing? Easy guy. Easy. Is this where we start plucking? Is this the plucking? Dim the lights.

Yeah. But I will say we had a girl on tonight, brand new comic making her TV debut. So listen, I want our show to be a place where comics can come on and be like, holy crap, that was an amazing experience. Oh, well, that's very generous of you because that's beautiful. I really want a comic to go away thinking, wow, that was the best first set I could have had. And what I think you recognize, just I can detect from you talking, is that, You know that a comic's first time on a major talk show is a career pinnacle. I mean, it's a huge.

Not every comic gets asked to perform on talk shows. And if you can get on, and even the ones like the later ones like Carson Daly or when Conan used to be on late at night, just to get on any of them is a huge, you know, stand-up comedian career triumph. So it's amazing. I don't know. You probably don't know the story, but I've been at Conan almost three years. So I started doing warm up probably back in 2004. My first gig was with Craig Kilbourne, that transition to Ferguson.

Carson Daly was my real first full-time gig. And then a lot of gigs in between Dancing with the Stars, America's Got Talent, all this other stuff. Wow, you've done a lot. A lot of great shows, a lot of bad shows, a lot of whenever somebody calls me and they say, we're doing a game show pilot, hang up the phone. yeah it's that is a disaster zone yeah nobody knows what they're doing oh yeah i avoid reality singing competition shows that's just an ear beating it's it's what if there was a pilot show called grab me that with that the art of flunking yeah but you know it's crazy because here's what's nuts and you know this and you've been in this business a long time

there are days that you have in this business that will give you the highest of high in the lowest of lows. Oh, yeah. That whether the phone call is, you're going to be starring in this or the phone call is, you just got pulled from that show. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. So we're in 2018. I remember in 2015, three years ago, I went into that year not having a whole lot of anything. Just a dead year. My calendar was blank.

Yeah. So I remember I worked on a couple of other TBS shows. Pete Holmes had a show. Yeah. I worked on his show. I worked on his show for TBS. Those were all Conoco shows. Yeah.

So I remember I got a call from a mutual friend of ours, Jimmy Pardo. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy was doing Conan for a long time. That's right. He was doing it and said, hey, I need to take off a few days. I am hosting a game show for sci-fi. I think that's what it was. He was hosting a game show.

Can you fill in for me for a couple of days? No problem. Never thinking in my wildest dreams that this temporary gig for a couple days would turn into a full-time permanent gig. Oh, he never came back? No. No, because what happened was my style and Jimmy style are completely different. Jimmy will tell you that. Jimmy will tell you he's not a warm-up guy.

He's a stand-up comic that was doing warm-up. Jimmy's style was standing on the floor, goofing with the audience back and forth, doing crowd work, then bringing the band out. Right. My style is up in the audience, high-fiving people, tossing out t-shirts, just different. A little more energy. That's the way I do. Completely different. Some people don't like what I do.

It's two over-the-top. Other people want more of a straight line. kind of warm-up deal. So I think at the moment when I kind of came in, they recognized more of like, hey, I think this is what we could want. Because the story I had heard later was Conan was backstage when I was doing the warm-up

and he's like, holy shit, what's going on back back then? Like, couldn't believe it. Like, it was very excited. You're great at it, man. You're excited about the energy. So I then get a call the next day saying, listen, you know, we're thinking about trying to make this work, but trying to make all parties happy. And I was like, I didn't know what that meant. Wait, they were getting rid of Jimmy after

you smoke the room? Uh, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Was Jimmy upset? Well, here's what's great about it. Because I've known Jimmy for a long time. And I said to them, I said, listen, I understand that you guys are going through these growing pains and that you're looking to make a switch. Yeah. I said, if I don't take the job, would Jimmy come back or would you find somebody else? And they're like, we think we probably find somebody else. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item

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That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So Jimmy had just kind of run his course. Jimmy will tell you he was completely burnt out.

Like I think he was done. He loved being part of the Conan crew. But here's what's great about the show. The show immediately brings me in, but then transitions Jimmy into a development deal with the show. So now Jimmy's no longer doing the warm up, but it's still part of the show in some way. Yeah, Conan's a loyal guy. Loyal to the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, you know, I've been there three years now, but it's amazing. I never, when I was there for the first couple days, filling in for him, never in my wildest dreams thought that this. And like I said, I was not expecting that gig. All of a sudden, I get Conan. Later that summer, I get a call from Ken Jung. He's doing a sitcom called Dr. Ken. Yeah. He saw me somewhere else.

So now I have two gigs when six months earlier, I had nothing. So it's weird how it just transitions around. Well, it also says you're really good at what you do, man. I mean, there's an art to everything. There's an art. And I've seen a lot of warm up guys. I mean, damn, I've, I've had my own. sitcom, and I used to hire my friends who are comedians to do warm-up,

Ron Pearson and Alan Murray and guys like that. I would bring those guys in, and it's hard. It's a hard gig. And I'm not disparaging them, but I'll say that I know for a fact, you work it better than those guys did, and they'd probably agree with me. It's not a dig. It's just you're really good at it.

You should write a book or something about it. Well, it's interesting because certain, shows like certain guys like there's a guy like mark sweet who does all the chuck lorry show so he does yeah big bank theory mom like chuck lory loves him but you know the the fact of it is there's there's only i think maybe under 10 guys in l.a that do warm up yeah it's a very limited number it's a limited because there's yeah there's a limited number of shows right so you're very you've got a very uh excellent spot and and and i don't want to sound ignorant but you you can make your living at it right you can you can yeah yeah i will say this though

the money really if you want to do warm up full time is in sitcoms because the money i mean some of those guys for sitcoms are making five grand a night for a sitcom yeah and they're in and out in four hours that's where the money is wow i better i better pack up the harland highway and uh you know what let let me ask you this would you mind if i did uh you know just two nights well you took some time off over at conan well i go film a sci-fi show yeah well this is gary Canon gang and uh you know i've i've been on conan i've been doing conan since uh oh my god for maybe more than 15 years like i i i did conan for the first time way back in the 90s when he was in new york yep and uh and so i think that was my very one of my very first late night

shows bob odenkirk wow from breaking bad he actually helped me get it he uh bob used to do a lot of stand-up. And when I first moved to L.A., Bob Odenkirk saw me doing my stuff in Hollywood. And he just walked up to me one day. And he goes, he was a writer on Conan at the time. And he goes, do you want to do Conan? I just went, um, yeah, okay. And next thing I knew, I was flying to New York and doing Conan. So I did Conan before I did like Letterman or the Tonight Show. And so I've, uh, I've had a relationship with Conan all these years. And I just did Conan again last year and I'm on there all the time and I'm hopefully going to be doing it again soon

because I have a new crazy stand-up comedy special dropping this year. Oh wow. And it's very strange and very weird and I think Conan's going to want me on the show. I did my whole special as as a dog.

I have this crazy mask, a pug mask where the mouth articulates and I did my whole special as Carmel Corn the Pug. And so once we're Regular jokes or dog jokes? Do my whole act for an hour as Carmelcorn. So when my special drops, I want to, I'm going to call up the gang at Conan and say, hey, Carmelcorn wants to come on the show.

And you would come out as Carmelcorn. I would do stand up and do panel as Carmelcorn. Right. And I think Conan would love it. So a little heads up on that. Did you have to come out when you did that? Do you come out to the audience and let them know this is what you're doing? You just come out?

I didn't even bill it as me. I just said, if you want to see a dog do stand-up comedy, I didn't even tell them it was me. How do you get people to come out for a show like that? Well, some of them knew because I advertised it on my podcast and on Twitter and stuff like that. And then the other part was just some marketing guys that said, hey, we're kind of doing this wild comedy show. We're taping it. Come on out and see it. And so I think half the people knew it was me under the mask and half had no idea.

because you know that a lot of these shows, not Conan, but a lot of these sitcoms in L.A. that are brand new can't fill an audience every night. So they pay people to be there. And those are the most brutal of audiences. Oh, they're horrible. They are brutal. And the minute you get on the microphone,

you're like, hey, who's ready to have a good time? And it is crickets. You're like, this show better move fast. It's brutal. Yeah. Anytime I hear that it's like a baseball team from a college, I'm screwed. Oh, yeah. Girls volleyball.

military guys It can be brutal And you're just out there Hoping a free t-shirt excites them I did one of my Comedy Central stand-up specials specials once And about four or five minutes in

I started talking to a guy in the crowd I'm like I'm like doing this bit Where I'm like blah blah blah blah blah blah And I go what do you think about that dude And he's like Capasa I'm like wait a minute What?

And I said dude do you speak English at all And he's like And I'm like, you don't speak English, do you? Capasica. And I realized, like, I looked around and I realized, like, half the people in the crowd didn't understand a word I was saying. But they don't care. They just want to put people in seats for the camera. Yeah, that's it.

It's humiliating. It's like, it's like, dude, it's like, anyways. It is pretty amazing. I mean, literally, I remember I was working on a show called Sullivan and Son, which was Steve Burns sitcom. Yeah. And I remember Steve's great. Steve's great. One of the nicest.

I toured them a lot. And he, I was interviewing somebody. And Roy Wood Jr., who was on our show on the floor, he yells up, hey, what do you do for a living to the guy? And the guy said, I just got out of prison. And it was no joke. It was no BS. But they were there as a fundraiser from some home.

And they were there for a sandwich and $13. And that's what it is. Yeah. They really, it's a grind. But when you get these shows, I think I've come to, a good spot in my life though because I've had shows now where if I get any shit from anybody I'm done. Jeff Dye had a game show and the producers were giving me crap about it and I love Jeff but the producer came over and they were just yelling and this and I was like guys we're

taping at a studio in Santa Clarita yeah it's midsummer these people are dying a miserable death yeah let's face facts I mean let's let's let's be thankful yeah that 30 people showed up yeah really let's call this what it is we're getting as much as we can out of the stone and let's all walk away happy. And I said, if there's any more problems, I said, we'll just call it a day. I said, I have no problem getting home before traffic. And they don't, it's funny. They don't know what to say.

Like they're thrown off that, why would you be talking to me that way? Because he said, why are you so hostile? And I was like, I'm just being honest. Yeah. And they don't know what to do. They're thrown. Yeah, well, they don't get it that we're very passionate about our craft. And it's insulting when you're just throwing bodies in front of us and not like kind

going out to the world and saying, hey, who wants to see this guy or who wants to see a really good comedy show? They're just, you know, they can pull anybody off the street. And I've had people falling asleep. One of my specials I did that the production company that did it, my opening joke at the puncher,

you know how they cut to the crowd? Yeah. So my opening joke, they cut to a lady that had to be in her 80s, just staring at me with white hair. And I go, guys, this is not the epitivis. of hip. I've got like, you know, Mary Callender sitting in the front row with a fucking pop pie in her hand. This isn't going to go over well with the young hip comedy audience.

Like, you can't, I made them put someone else in, but. And where did you film this dog show? Where did you film yours? I filmed it at the, the improv in Irvine. Oh, okay. Because they built a brand new club down there that holds 600 and they rigged it to shoot stuff. And it really looked beautiful. And, you know, they worked with me on, you know, filling it. They worked with me on, on, you know, using the facility. And so they're really great about it. So it doesn't look like a giant theater, but it still looks like in between a giant theater and a club.

So we'll see what happens with that. And by the way, switch gears really quickly. I mean, you've done so much. I mean, you've just done so many great things as a comic. But what's one thing that you haven't done yet that you'd love to do? Oh, man, that's a cool question. Guy turns it around on me here. Oh, I like this.

I mean, you've done like, I mean, voiceovers, movies, TV, late night show. I mean, if you look at the realm, I mean, you've done it all. Yeah. So what's, I mean, what? As a stand up or just in the industry? Well, I guess as a stand up. Like, I mean, like, what would you want to do that still hasn't been crossed off the list? Boy, that's tough, man, because I've done an HBO special.

I've done showtime. done i've done all comedy central i've done all the big talk shows the only one i missed was johnny carson but i hadn't moved here yet right um gosh i don't know that there's a lot left for me to do me i i don't know stand-up wise i don't know what else is you know after i've been a dog what about the other thing then like just the other thing left on my list that i really want to accomplish and i don't know if i'll have time left because i'm getting a little older, but I always wanted to have my Ace Ventura or my Austin Powers type franchise movie character. I wanted to create a character that just took off, was really big and we're

able to make three or four sequels, you know? Right. I always thought that was always something that I really felt I was capable of and wanted to do. But believe me, I don't complain. If it never happens, I will not complain. But that was always on my list, you know. But it's weird because you've achieved a ton of success. Do you feel like you can slow down and relax a little bit and enjoy it? Or do you feel like you need to always be working to keep your name, to maintain, to like, so many comics just obviously you want to keep working because it's fun.

That's what we do. But do you feel like you can slow down a little bit and can enjoy things a little bit more, vacation a little bit more? You know what? I always did that. I always did that throughout my career. I always made a point of going on vacations every year, taking summers off. So I never let the work overpower, you know, the fun of living. But, you know, in terms of slowing down, not necessarily slowing down, but transitioning a bit,

I'm starting to become more involved in writing, writing movie scripts and writing short stories. I'm writing a novel. So I'm finding myself wanting to not travel as much and put out material that I can publish and stuff like that. So, yeah. Yeah, because I think so many guys, they just feel like they just got to keep going and book the calendar 365 days a year.

And we were talking about that before we started. Just like, as I get older, I can't do that much anymore. Yeah, no, I don't want to do that. I mean, I always want to go out and do my stand-up, but I don't want to, you know, I don't want to be a road war and a roadhog, and I want to work on my other stuff. So, yeah, stuff to think about.

What was the name? I remember when I brought you up at the Hollywood Improv, you said, what do you want your intro to be? And you said, Larry Smith from Bakersfield. Yeah. Is that still the intro? I do. I mean, I switch the names up all the time,

but Larry Smith's one of my go-to ones because I, I like to go up very unassuming and I like to go up with the most generic name from the smallest town. And then, you know, There's no expectations on me, and there's no expectations from the audience. I don't like to ride on the back of any of my credits or anything I've done. I like to go up with a cold slate, and here's a human being, your human beings. Let's see if the human being on stage can find your funny bone.

And that's, I just love it to be there. I don't want, here's a guy you've seen him in half baked and something about Mary. And it's like, that doesn't matter to me. me that stuff that's in the past like my challenge tonight is to connect right here and now with those people and and i want to know that i did it card blanche you know i want to know that i did it without any any pedigree any type of setup any help i just want to do it you know one-on-one and so that's why i go up so generic but they know it's you though i mean some of them do you know not everyone knows who i am but i'd say a lot of them most of them do but even just on a

psychological level, I do it for my brain because then I'm alleviating all pressure, all preconceived notions. Everything goes away. If I go up on stage as Larry Smith, I'm just in my mind of nobody. And so I get to do whatever I want without any pressure. And it really helps me grow and it helps me work on new material. And I just like it. I like being anonymous, you know. Well, it's funny because you and I, you do crowdwork so eloquently. I love crowdwork, yeah. And I do it. Yeah, you're really good.

Yeah. You are. I do it. But how do you handle it when, like, you know, when this happens, the crowd is just not into the crowdwork. They just want to hear jokes and they just, like, do you have to just shift back really quick because, like, like, you love doing crowdwork. So when at some point you just, the whole front row is like, no, we don't want to

play. Like, you know what I mean? like you just pull it right back in? It depends. It depends on the energy in the room, but a lot of the times I'll just make them. It's like my show. It's not their show.

It's my show. So if I want to do crowd work, I'll just keep going. And I find that if you hit the wall with them, then you go deeper. Instead of retreating, you go deeper. Like if somebody puts up an obstacle to you, then you attack the obstacle.

If someone says, hey, man, my kid died a week ago. You know, don't fuck with me. I'll go right in and say, how'd your kid die? And the room will go silent. I mean, it'll. Has this happened? Oh, hell, all the time, dude.

Really? I've talked to people about their dead kids. You know, you get people with tattoos. Oh, what's that name on your shoulder? Oh, that's my daughter. Oh, why, you don't know your daughter's own name? No, she died like three years ago. And I won't stop.

I'll go right into, I just keep going down and down the rabble. without being mean or cruel, but just I'll switch the gear and become compassionate and friendly and find a way through it. It's really fun. And those moments when the room goes completely silent are, to me, magical because people are riveted and there's a lot of raw emotion and people don't know where you're going with it. Right. And I don't know where I'm going with it. And in that silence, it's like, it's just amazing. It's really, it's powerful. powerful. So, wow. I just, I always say just keep going, keep going and try to find the funny kind way to climb back out. If you're mean and derogatory and and cruel, well, then you're

going to lose them. But if you, if you can find a way down to the bottom and then realize, holy shit, I've dug this hole, find a way out using your humor, but also, you know, using compassion and kindness and if it's awkward then just force yourself to find a way to climb out i've always found the interesting thing too and you know this i i didn't realize this early on when i started doing crowd work but i learned it after it there's so much you can get away with when you're shitting on the crowd if you're smiling yeah if you're smiling you can call somebody an asshole you're you're a piece of shit yeah as long as you're smiling if you're not smiling then you're the dick but if you're smiling it goes so much further oh yeah because they realize you're in on it

yeah so it makes all the difference in the world i grew up i grew up in my stand-up career with a guy in canada named pat bullard he was just a real kind of dashing charismatic handsome guy did he later host the jokers wild yeah he did some tv hosting stuff he's a great canadian one of the best crowdwork guys i've ever seen in my life amazing and he just had one of those smiles that When he smiled, you could almost see the little white twinkle go, you know, the little star, you know. Right. And he had this smile. And whenever he got stumped, like if someone in the crowd threw a wall up against him and he couldn't, he couldn't find it.

He'd just look at them. He'd smile and go, fuck off. And it was so charming, like it would just melt people. And it was just, he was telling him to fuck off, but you almost wanted him to. All right, let's shift gears, because as always, I've got a whole list of questions. Questions for Gary. I'm ready. We talked about the biz.

Yes. And that was informative. Thank you, man. Oh, sure. We really, I think the pavement pounders are listening to the show. So many people don't realize it's an actual job. They don't realize. And a lot of them probably don't even know it is a job.

No. Because not a lot of people, if you take the whole population, have been to the taping of a talk show. Right. So Gary's the guy that warms up the crowd, gets them pumped up, and then the host comes out. and he just kind of wallows in what Gary, the soup Gary made for. So it's a very important job, the minestroni, askrab chowder, baby. So here we go. Hawaii, we're bringing it back, you know, a few weeks ago,

some dillweed pressed a button that said, we are going to be bombed in about 35 minutes. Yeah. Get to a shelter. Gary Cannon, what does Gary do? he knows he has 35 minutes to live. What's going on in your head? Wow. Well, first of all, two things.

I was surprised. I understand that the button was hit accidentally. Yeah. It took that long for something to retract it. I know. That was interesting to me. And the fact that there's one button, you know, like, okay, it's like the up or down button. That's it. Press that

and nuclear fallout disaster ensues. Like, I would, I would hope if I were in Hawaii that went off. I would hope that Steve Byrne was performing there somewhere at the time because I would go into that building because I would have the building to myself. It would be empty.

The underground. I don't know. It is scary to think that. Yeah. We got 35 minutes, dude. Although you saw some people on the news, they didn't seem like they were that freaked out about it. Like some people were moving quickly.

Nobody believes anything anymore. They think, oh, it won't happen. And if it does, you know, I'll just go to the beach. What would you have done? I probably, you know, I probably would have walked up to the toughest guy I could find. Like a big bald muscle guy and I go, dude, don't take this personally. I'm not mad at you. I don't hate, I'm not a violent person, but I've always wanted to just punch a tough guy right in the face.

And you're the guy. I have 35 minutes left. And then, boom. Would that be okay? You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. Or I would walk up to the most beautiful, stunning girl.

Because, you know, I've always been a little shy around the girls. I would walk up to like a model-esque girl. I'd say, listen, I've never done this in my life. You are gorgeous. We got 35 minutes left. Do you want to make love on the beach? Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't be rapy.

I wouldn't be a sexual assaulty. I'd be very gentlemanly. I'd say, look, I've been dreaming about making love to a girl like you my whole life. Yeah. We got 35 minutes. Would you throw me a bone here? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

And then, so you would do that. Well, I would make love to her. And then stand up and kick a tough guy in the face. And then make love to her again. Because you would have 33 extra minutes. Yeah, I want to have, I want to achieve just as the bombs landing. So it's like the biggest, like a mushroom cloud orgasm. Right, just right there.

Boom. I love it. Can you imagine orgasming right at the moment the bomb landed? Yeah, that'd be pretty cool. So that's a great way to go out. That's pretty good, right? Yeah, I like your theory. I mean, I think what I came up with was better than.

sitting in a dark theater all by myself. But, you know, you do what you want, Gary. I'm kind of a loner. Okay, okay. All right. Has any, have you or anyone you've ever known won a lottery? Like even a scratcher? Oh, of course.

Yeah, yeah. Tell, too tell. Let's see. Yeah, I've had guys that have won. Actually, the guy that cuts my hair, he's one of these guys that will go in and just drop a hundred bucks on, you know, single ticket scratchers. Scratchers. And he's won, I think, 500.

And when you go home and look at your haircut that night, is there little silver filaments in your hair? A little little shavings from the scraping. I had a buddy, a buddy who's a big comedy fan, but he is in casting and he used to cast a show called, like, My Millionaire or something like that. And it was basically people winning the lottery and then blowing all their money. Like, that was what it was. I'm sure that that happened so much.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I would always, I always kind of had that thing. Like even when I went to Vegas, never felt like Ralphie was a guy, Ralphie Mae, who we both know, when we would go work these casinos together, he'd be like, hey, Cannon, here's $100. Go play the slot machines. And I just knew they weren't going to win anything. So I'd just take the $100, put it in my pocket and walk away. Yeah. I felt it was like a $100 bonus for the weekend.

Wow. It was great. But did you ever win anything in the lottery? Did you ever win a scratcher or anything? No, I wasn't that guy. I was never, I didn't played enough to even. consider winning but but I think it's I never I never got enticed with it even when the the mega millions was like 800 million dollars I never even bought a ticket you know who I bet wins a lot

of those scratchers is people with psoriasis you think so well because they're always itching and they're probably great scratchers is that a joke we might hear from the dog I don't know maybe caramel that's what a caramel cord is was carmelcourt a name Love your dog? Did you have a dog? No, I just made it out. I thought I want to have a catchy name for the... Carmel corn the dog.

Carmel corn, the pug. Now, tell me about your barber. How much did he win? You almost made it sound like he wasn't... Five Hyundai. Yeah. Five Hyundai. I got to be honest with you.

That day, I felt like no tip needed. Oh, so it was the day you were there. I think he wanted like the night before. Yeah. And while he was trimming, he was caught talking about it. Talking about it. Why am I... No tip.

You're better off telling me how you're done on your luck. Yeah, right. about to be evicted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I'm going to jump in and help out. You're going to throw in, throw in. You had an extra hundy from Ralphie Mae, you could have dropped. Wow.

From when he told me to hit the casino in Laughlin. Yeah, yeah. Ralphie and I used to do so many shows, spend so much time on the road together. Oh, poor Ralph. He died about, was it about a half a year ago now? It would have been, it was last summer, summer of 2017. Yeah. So like three quarters of a year.

Yeah. Poor guy, man. He was a nice guy. Such a good guy. and you could not find anybody to say a bad word about that guy. No, no, Ralphie was very sweet. It's just, it's very startling when as comedians, we, you know, we all kind of intermingle over the years and decades together.

And whenever one of them, one of us passes away, it's very shocking because it hit you in the face about your own, own mortality. And plus you realize the world's lost someone who's provided so much joy to people and laughter. and it's just hard, you know. It's weird to me too because what did you feel was your first, like, big break where you kind of like, oh, I feel like a real stand-up. Like, what was it?

Because, I mean, for me, like, I remember just, I mean, there was a lot of little moments, but like just being able to mingle at the improv, like being able to kind of go to the bar and feel part of the family. And like, you know, like little things like that. It wasn't about working here, working there. But it was just about those little moments where, you know, Brian Regan has said it was, you know, him getting passed at a club in Florida where he started. Like those little things like

what was it for you when you were like, holy shit, I think that this is something. I think it was when I got, I was still in Canada. I started my stand up career in Canada and so I think it was when I first got selected for the big Montreal Comedy Festival

which at that time was you know, the biggest comedy event next to doing the Tonight show. Right. If you got asked to be on that show back in those days, it was a big, big thing. So that was when I was like, oh, wow, I, I'm worthy. You know, I've got, I've got something that, that's special or that they want or that people are reacting to. So, so that was a big moment for me. Right. Yeah. It's always, to me, it's like those little things. Like,

just, you know, being able to call yourself, like, listen, we know both, no, there's a lot of people that call themselves comics, but haven't worked since 83. You know what I mean? They have the business card from Vista print, but they haven't done anything. And, you know, to me, it's those little things. I mean, when I first, when I first went to the punchline, San Francisco, where I started, they used to have a Sunday night showcase every Sunday night. And I remember walking up to it one Sunday night and all the comics were hanging outside. I'm like, I'm not walking in there.

And I remember I turned around and I was living with my brother at the time. And he knew I was going to the punchline. And I remember, I'm like, I can't go home. He'll know that I didn't go. So I would go see a movie. I just, I didn't want to go. And it's funny because now when you go in there and you realize it's just another stage. it's just another mic it's just like it's just so empowering to be like oh i get to call this my

home now yeah oh yeah it's it's nice to know that you're you're kind of over the hump of looking through the window going man i wish i was part of that community i wish people my i had peers that knew i could stand with the best of them right and then once you get in in that inside you're like oh man it's it's it's a it's a great achievement it's not easy yeah but you know like when you first get to LA it's like the comedy magic club seems so unattainable and then you get there and you start doing it and then you're like oh this is just

like every other club it's nothing special it is a big challenge to to get in there and start like it's it's it's like until they kind of let you in the door and let you get on stage it's easy once you're there but that initial getting in

is very challenging and very I mean I mean you'll see on any new talent night in Hollywood, you'll see people lined up down the street to get three minutes at the laugh factory. It's crazy. It's seeing that that always makes you humble and remind you of your early struggles. But I wouldn't trade the early struggles for anything in the world. They were really fun.

They were scary, hard, ambiguous times, but they were really great. Quick, yes or no answer. All right. So yes or a no, nothing else. Can you muffle farts by sticking a marshmallow in your crap? I'm going to say yes Yeah, good Absolutely right

I didn't know if that was me personally Or you're asking as a general No, just whatever you want Let's not analyze it You were right Yes or yes or no buddy Cruelest thing a chick ever said to you Like on dating on a date

Oh I got one even your wife I don't know if you're married But the meanest cruelest thing they've ever said Well I got one this is a while ago So this is the one story That I always love to share A dating story Yes, it pops up at my head

head all the time. High school. I like this girl a lot. Stacey was her name. I was a senior. She was in 10th grade. Nice. Liked her a lot. Wanted to invite her to homecoming. We went out one time, saw a movie, Camp I Me Love with Patrick Dempsey. Remember that movie? You took her right to the love movie. Great movie. Took her right there. So at that point, she was no longer interested to me. I don't know what happened, but she ended up starting to like another guy who was also a senior, but a really good looking jockey guy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Homecoming comes and go. She goes with him Now it's Valentine's Day

Of my senior year So every Valentine's Day They used to Have these flower distributions Where you could go and buy a flower Have it sent up to somebody's classroom With a card So I'm in my journalism class

I get a flower delivered Is Gary here? That's me I look at the card It says Would like to work things out Love Stacy. Call me tonight

Okay great Maybe we're on the right track Nice. I call Stacy later that night excited, butterflies. She said, I have no idea what you're talking about. I said, what do you mean? She's like, I don't know. Found out, my friends paid the 50 cents for the Rose, signed her name.

And it was delivered. Now, the reason I was bad wasn't at them, but the fact that I didn't think of it first. Because I was always that guy who would have thought of that first. But the fact that I didn't and they pulled one over on me, I was furious. And I just remember, like, the lunacy of it where she was like, hey, I didn't send that to you. It was all a ruse. And then I'm like, well, this is so weird. You know what I mean?

Like it was just, it was very, very interesting to me, you know, to pull that off. I remember I met my, my now wife in Vegas. She was there visiting with her sister. She has a twin sister. Yeah. Not identical fraternal. And I remember when they were at the comedy club. I was at the Riviera.

They saw me and I hung on with them afterwards. And I saw it. I thought to myself, I think. I think I'm going to hook up with two sisters. Wow. Look at you. Fast forward to now that I'm married, her sister, my sister-in-law, couldn't be more repulsed by me.

Hates me, thinks I'm, like, not, you know, but like the fact that I was so egotistical thinking I was going to close two girls. Yeah. And now the one could care less about me was really, really funny. But yeah, and that's how I met my wife on a literally a one-night stand working at the Riv in Vegas, which to me was one of the shitty clubs in Vegas, but it did one thing good in my career. Found to your wife.

I met her. Yeah. You should send the twin a white flower and say it's from me. By the way, it's also funny because she had said to me after the fact that if it wasn't for the half-priced ticket booth in Vegas, I would have never met her. Oh, my God. The tickets were advertised on that lousy site. Cheap as.

On the strip, that's how they came to see the show. And I remember never forget this I was there those weeks in Vegas are miserable Seven days, two shows, shit money And I remember one night Brian Regan came out to see me Because he lives in Vegas And he came and I ate a plate of ass It was horrible in front of Brian Regan

He leaves the next show Was one of the best of the week Of course, that's always the way dude You always have your best shows When no one's there Of course, of course Let's switch gears to So we got this wall thing.

You know, the Trumpster wants to build a wall. And I don't want to get into politics. But what I do want to do, this is like a design question. Okay. Because I've thought about this. Like if you could design a wall, not that you would want to or you're for or against immigration, no politics. But if you were tasked with designing this wall, how would you, how do you design it? How would you design it to keep people out?

Here's what I think we do. We get the wall from IKEA. And then what we do is we tell them they have to build the wall, right? And if they can't build it in time, right, then we get to come in and put up, like, we almost give them the deadline. Yeah. I think if they, if they can build it. And the Allen wrenches.

If they can build it and show that they're efficient and can build it within the year, then we keep it. But if there's the problem and they can't get that wall up, I think, because you know what we do, we just dump all the pieces out right in front of them. And we tell them there's the wall. Yeah. And you guys got to get this up. If you get it up in a certain time, we'll pull it down.

But if you can't, we build it and it stays. That's awesome. I think that's what you do. A wooden wall. A wooden wall. You throw all of those pieces down one Allen wrench, and that's it. And let them go to town. That's brilliant.

I never thought of that. I'm glad I asked, IKEA, of course. Ikea is the way to go. Yeah. Of course. And they do have some nice stuff. And there, I got to tell you. And instead of a wall, we could call it a nouglige flow, right?

I was always against IKEA, always. And then my wife and I went one day, and I was like, this place is pretty good. It's fun. You know, you just have to be careful not to buy like the wooden plank bookshelf. And everyone who walks in your house goes, oh, you were at IKEA? Right. But if you look around, they do have stuff where you can't tell. So you just got to make sure you don't go with the classic IKEA look.

But they have some cool stuff. I will tell you it's exactly like Costco, because Costco will sell a great jacket or a great zip up fleece or hoodie and then you you inevitably see somebody with that exact same one and you know it's Costco because it's only unique to their store yeah like like you're like oh my god north face you're like i've never seen a north face with like two pink sleeves like so you know it's only to that Costco yeah so whenever i've seen it i i'll see somebody from a distance i'm like that shirt's from Costco i know it so you just got to be careful at what you buy without somebody knowing it was yeah you got to be inundated believe the ikea

all, ladies and gentlemen. There's our answer, Harlan, right there. Switching gears again, all right? If you had a choice. Is it the gear ship because of the highway? Is that kind of the idea? Yeah, it's kind of the Harlan Highway. I'm like a truck driver.

I got 18 gears, right? Okay, okay. So I shift gears. And this one's, we talked earlier about, you know, mortality and stuff. Yeah. If you had the choice, not that this will ever befall you, but the choice of dying from poison would it be a black widow a snake a poisonous serpent or a scorpion which one would you rather go down by and and what's the environment that we're in is there an environment

it could be wherever you want somehow some way you get you get bit by one of them which would you i'm going to pull snake right off the equation i wouldn't want that you wouldn't want a snake why um i i just think that the the idea of it lunging at me right like i don't like Yeah, I don't like the strike. Yeah. And then now we're down to the Black Widow and the Scorpion. Let's see. I always think of the Scorpion.

I think of that Brady Bunch episode where they go to Honolulu. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's right. Greg is wearing the idol. Yeah, so I pull that one off. Okay, so it's a Black Widow. There it is, yeah. So it comes down to Brady Bunch and the striking that pull those two right off the equation.

Who knew that the Brady Bunch? Right. Yeah. He got that little tiki bunch. that he found, and it brought them bad luck the whole time. Yeah, and if you see someone wearing a tiki idol, you kind of do want to strike them, right? You would think so. You deserve it.

You almost deserve to be poisoned. Yeah. There's no other way around it. All right. Well, Gary Cannon, we are down to the end of the show or at the end of the hour. No, it's not it. Because guess what? The end of the show, we play our game with all my guess.

We have a beautiful game. I love it. And we always close the show. It's high energy. It's fun. Okay, I love it. Hopefully you can win. everybody wins there's a prize there the prize is your is your bragging right oh i see yeah how

many people win how many people lose what's the most people lose i'm not even joking so hopefully you're going to look you're going to shine if you win it okay it's a simple game it's called too soon what or do i compete against you no you're you're completing against yourself you're going to answer four questions and the name of the game's called too soon okay or not too soon And you've heard it when someone makes an off-collar joke and you go, oh, too soon. Okay, right. So the key is to get the right inflection for too soon or not too soon, okay? I'm saying the inflection.

Yeah, you're saying too soon or not too soon. Okay. That's your only answer. So, okay. You have four questions. Let me ask you. I need to ask all these. But is it, is winning or losing based on my inflection or based on it being too soon or not to soon?

It's based on your answer. The inflection is not important We like the inflection to be accurate But it's all based on your answer Okay Yeah, so don't worry If you're not good with inflection Okay

Don't get all inflect fucked over it But wait, who determines if it was too soon Or not too soon? Is that your call? Oh yeah, these questions are all based on research Oh, I see you did research before I came over Oh yeah These aren't just willy-nilly I didn't think so I could tell by the lotto ticket question

Okay great I could tell there's a staff All right so here we go So first question of too soon or not too soon. Okay. Here we go with Gary Cannon. Question one. Are you ready?

I want to make sure you're ready. I'm ready. You're mentally prepared? I don't want to overthink. I'm just going to go. First gut instinct and fire it off. Okay. Here we go.

Spider-Man gets the flu. And instead of resting for four days, he stuffs his red leotards with pseudofed, Nyquil, and a breast pump. Too soon or not too soon? Not too soon. That is incorrect. That is incorrect. But this is like an English essay.

This is, if we explored this to 10 other people, I would like to argue this point. You're saying too soon. Yeah. I'm saying not too soon. Yeah. Point counterpoint, right?

It's like part in the interruption. But you're, so it goes on your call because I guess you wrote the question. Right. How many do I don't have to. it all four right, right? Well, you should. I mean, you want people to think you're mentally stable, right? I want to think that if I had said too soon, you would have said, no, no. If you had said too soon, that was the right answer for that one. All right. All right. A hundred percent. I don't think it should be

four for four. I think there should be three for four. Okay. Let's see if you get the next three. There's no there's no hook. There's no me changing things. It's not like that thing. What's the number behind my back and you say three and it was three and I change it? Right. There's none of that. This isn't the shell game. This is all real. I love it. Okay. So here we go. Too soon or not too soon. Gary can in question two.

Polar bears go extinct. So panda bears are boiled in bleach to remove any black fur and become the new more compact polar bears. Too soon or not too soon? Not too soon. That is incorrect. Come on.

I was going to go too soon, but then I thought there's two two shoes back to back. Damn it. All right. All right, let's move on. All you can do now is tie. This is about your pride. Okay, okay. I'm ready now.

Gary Cannon. I see how the game works. Question three. All right, I'm good. All right, I'm good. Question three. Shrek is vacationing in Tahiti and spots the Mucinx snot goblin lying on a beach towel close by. Later that night, they make torrid love on the beach

under a romantic full moon and become Hollywood's newest power gay couple knowing as Musa Shrek, too soon or not too soon? Not too soon. That is incorrect. That is too soon? Do you have any not too soon's in here? I was following the kind of classroom order

of like true false, true false. So I'm 0 for three is what you're telling me. This one's just to save your pride. Fine. You know what? I think you'll get this one because it involves the Brady Bunch, ironically. Yes. I love it.

I love it. I think you might get this one. The last question. Too soon or not too soon. Question for, the Brady Brunch reunites and make butter statues of themselves. They all get naked and have a butter orgy on the front lawn. Too soon or not too soon. Not too soon.

Wrong, Gary. That show was in 1972. How could that be? too soon. Let me reveal to you what so many like yourself had missed. Yes. The answer to every question is too soon. That's what it is.

And the inflection helps, but it's always too soon. You said the inflection was not part of it. No, I said it helps, but the answer is always too soon. So if I'd listen to a previous Harlan Highway podcast. You would have known. Adam Ray got it wrong. Everyone falls into that trap. It's all every answer is too soon.

And you did the exact opposite. By the way, so then that's not speaking very well to people who come on as guests because they don't listen to the podcast is what I'm doing. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Too soon. Too soon. You're absolutely right.

I only have eight listeners. Two are here. Two are right here, yeah. Gary, what a pleasure. I want you to take a moment here. Folks, you've got to follow Gary on social media. You got to get out to see them. Do you have any, like, comedy albums or anything?

No, I don't. Okay. I should, maybe. Well, it's something to think about, but we know you, you work the clubs. I'm in town. I work with Steve Byrne a lot. We have a podcast together that Steve and I do. Tell us.

Tell us your podcast. We've had so many great guests on. Vince Vaughn did our show. Oh, nice. Robert O'Neill, who was the guy who shot bin Laden. We had him on. Wow. We had Jonathan Allen, who wrote the great book Shattered about why Hillary Clinton lost the campaign.

Wow. The impractical Jokers. Pat Sajek did our show. Wow. And you've got some heavy hitters, bro. And two people that I pushed for to do our show because they are iconic for me. Yeah. Joey Greco, who was the host of a show called Cheaters.

Yeah. And Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator. Yeah, yeah. Like out of all the people we've done, I was like, those are the guests that I really wanted. What are you doing with that bag of condoms? We had Jonathan Ike who wrote a great book about Muhammad Ali. So we're really trying to kind of elevate our guests. That's great.

And where can people find your podcast and say, the name again it's called the gentleman's dojo it's nasty burn it's on all things comedy which is where you are uh it's on sound cloud all the other good stuff iTunes iTunes but if they go to my website Gary cannon.com okay um right there and do you have social me you got Twitter you got Instagram all that everything is through the web they can go to my website canoncom or Gary canaan or it's canon comedy canon comedy there it is yeah there he is guys Gary can I don't get to see you enough which is unfortunate we don't we don't we don't I don't don't really get to see you all that much.

Well, we'll have to change that, my friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll have to. Get your 99 cent Christmas present ready, okay? But we just passed that, so there's got to be a time before that. Of course. There's barbecues. There's, oh, come on now. I'm down.

And maybe we'll go stand in that dark theater and wait for the missiles to drop. Ladies and gentlemen, you've been listening to Gary Cannon. Check them out on social media. Check out his website. Check out his podcast. So much great stuff with Gary. dude thank you so much for being here buddy i've been a fan for years oh thank you so the fact that i get to come uh not only to do this with you and this has been so nice and a thrill for me oh thank

you it's it's been amazing it's been fun and very informal you know like i said i've been doing conan for many years and and what you're doing is something that i wasn't totally uh knowledgeable about so it's really great to hear all that stuff i hope that that kind of shed some light if people you know come to see a taping of conan they can get tickets through team conan team cocoa dot com and I don't know a show. That'd be great. There it is. Do that.

You'll get to see Gary Cannon live doing his thing. And that's it for today, everybody. We hope you had a good time. As I said, check out Gary's podcast and social media. And until next time, everybody, chicken chalmayne, baby. Thank you.