The Harland Highway - 932 - Dr. Debbie Thymer takes SEX calls. How much Sex do we need? Florida shooting horror!

Episode Date: February 26, 2018

Dr. Debbie Thymer takes SEX calls. How much Sex do we need? Florida shooting horror! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up to the craziest podcast in the world. The Harland Highway. Okay, enough of that. What was that? What are we in the 1920s at a carnival? Anyways, this is Harlan Williams, and you are on the Harland Highway podcast, Boys and Girls. What a show today.

We're going to talk towards the end of the show. We're going to talk about something a little. I'm going to discuss the horrible shooting down in Florida where many young kids lost their wonderful, oh, innocent lives. That's at the end of the show. It gets a little heavier, but up front, oh, my God, we've got a crazy story about sex. Any of you out there like sex?

We're going to talk about how much sex you should be having and what kind of sex you should be having. Is it healthy? Is it unhealthy? I don't know. We're going to talk about it. And then following that, we're going to have an expert in the field talk about it. We're going to be taking some phone calls at least. I'm not, but Dr. Debbie Timer, life coach, who often makes appearances on the show,

is going to be taking sex calls from some of our listeners. So it's going to be a great show. Get ready. This is the Harland. Highway I have an announcement to me You're about to go down the Harland Highway Lock the door

I don't want to be a product of my environment I want my environment to be a product of me You're riding down the Harlan Highway So, put off the fuck to get off this phone I can get you off. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.

You're a cantaloupe. Dagon. Dagon. Dagon. Dagon. All right, hold tight on the Holland Highway show. I'm ashamed, big daddy. That's why I'm a drunk when I'm drunk, I can stand myself.

Keep bleeding on that tutor, Charlie, and you're gonna get a shot in the mouth. Act like a man! I wasn't really sure what was going on You're listening to Harlan Williams The rest is bullshit and you know it The Harland Highway Question of the day Yeah, I wanted to start right out of the gate

With the question of the day It's kind of important I guess It pertains to probably most of us And here it is Ready? much sex should a couple have? Are there some people out there? Are there some people listening? Are there some couples? Are there some sexers? Are you people listening doing the dirty sexing? Dirty, dirty? Dirty!

Here we go. Let's get into this. This is an interesting article. I saw it in a newspaper man And it says how much sex Should a couple have A 40-year study that surveyed more than 30,000 Americans Found in 2015 the couples who had sex once a week Are the happiest So should couples put a number on how often they hop in bed?

Well, yeah, who the heck wouldn't be happy having sex? once a week. How many of you listening do you have it once a year? Um, so I don't know, let's keep reading here. Uh, it says the couples need to understand how often each person needs to have sex to be fulfilled in the relationship. Quote, some people want to have sex every day and they are, the survey said, other people have other priorities. So sex isn't the top of their list so they're having it less the primary problem for many couples is not the frequency of sex but how they talk about it talk about who the no wants to talk about it you just have it just do it what he's sitting around talking about it you're a little uh mixed up

if you're just talking about it it's a physical act dalo Um, the headline goes on to say, is you're hyper plugged in life hurting your sex life? Today's couples have an onslaught of distractions keeping them from having sex. A lot more people are connected to devices. If they're watching videos, TV in the bedroom, texting, or updating Twitter feeds, it's detrimental to their sex lives. Well, not really, because if you look at who they're twittering to and Facebooking, It's to other hot chicks and other hot dudes.

So it may look like they're not interested in sex, but what they're doing is they're setting up sex with a complete stranger or someone that they went to high school with or anyone they can find online who looks good. That's what they're doing. So I might have to argue that the devices are inhibiting their sex life. I dare challenge you and say it's expanding it. and broadening it and making it sleazier and dirtier and easier and grosser and I'm kind of joking,

but in a way, I'm kind of not joking. I get the feeling that a lot of couples nowadays, you know, it used to be you go to work, you come home to your significant other. There wasn't a lot of room to flirt. Once you got in the doors of your house, the only woman, or if you're a girl, the only man you're seeing or interacting with is your partner. But Dalo, now you can go in the other room, you can go sit on the toilet, you can sneak down into the basement, you can go in the root cellar, you can climb up into the attic. I mean, you know, and when you get there, maybe you're on a dating app, maybe you're on Instagram, maybe you're trolling through Snapchat, I mean, there's, I'm just saying, man, there's so many avenues, you're not, you're not alone in your house with your significant other

anymore. Those days are gone. Now you've got, you've got people in your cell phone, you've got people in your computer you've got so I don't know that being hooked up to devices the distraction is necessarily oh I'm doing some I'm doing some documents for work

honey you know not tonight I'm preparing a PowerPoint for work meanwhile cut to whoever that is they're talking to their high school sweetheart from 14 years ago I don't know about that one

Okay, okay, I'll be honest. I think people do get distracted by their devices, okay? You can be playing solitaire, you can be playing backgammon, you can be scrolling through the news, you can be looking at other people. That's the thing. You're busy looking at other people's lives on Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat and you're ignoring the life you have right in your own house.

So, yeah, I could concede that, you know devices are hurting the sex life here's the next headline too tired for sex join the club particularly for couples with children are stressful jobs sometimes the idea of having sex is too much to bear but having sex can have positive effects on your life have you ever been in that situation where you're just like

oh god I hope she doesn't ask for sex today I just don't want to do it right can you believe it? Remember when you were a teenager? You would you would climb across the burning embers of hell to have sex. You'd you'd crawl across the desert just to grab a titty or get a kiss. And then as an adult you're like, oh God, I hope she's not in the mood tonight. I'm going to go to bed early and pretend I have a headache. It's just so funny how the tables turn. Here's some of the here's some of the upsides of having sex.

There's a little list here. Sex releases endorphins that make you feel good and increase the feeling of closeness with your partner. Sex can clear the mind. If you have a noisy brain, sex relocates your blood flow to your genitals and can help clear your thoughts. Wait, what? Yikes.

That could get a little messy if you work at the office. Oh, God, I have so much paperwork to do. Hang on a second. Clarice, could you come in here for a minute? I need some help. But sex intellectually makes sense. When you're really tired, it's hard to follow through, she said. If one person is exhausted, couples should have a conversation about it.

Yeah, nothing more romantic and spontaneous than, you know, talking about it. Well, what do you say? Tomorrow night at 8 o'clock, we'll watch a rerun of friends. And then at 8.05, why don't I meet you in the bedroom? And let's have sex. Not too long. Let's keep it at about 8 minutes.

I don't want to overdo it. Are you good with this? Is that going to work for you? Here's the conversation maybe. Let's make this work. Don't want to put this on you when you are already depleted and think I'm being selfish, but I also want to have the opportunity to connect with you and remind ourselves why we are doing this. Too technical. If a partner wants to discuss issues within the relationship or the frequency of sex, it's important to carefully plan how they address the subject. You say, I am interested in talking more,

about our sex life, but I'd like to set up a time to make an appointment for it. She said there are introverts and extroverts, so some like to pros out loud, and some like to have information ahead of time and think about it before they come to the table. Conversations about sex can be awkward, so it's important to be aware of your partner's needs. Aye, aye, aye, aye, that's just, that's just getting too. Sex should just kind of happen. Shouldn't it be passionate and just kind of, I don't know, I guess if you're in a busy relationship, you might have to talk about it.

Here's another headline, you don't have to have physical intercourse to satisfy your partner. Well, that's true. Couples can figure out what works for them when it comes to satisfying their partner's need. If one partner wants to have sex three times a week and the other doesn't, other sex can act as a substance. for actual intercourse. You can expand what the idea of that definition is, so you find something that is mutually beneficial to both. Can we just stop the tech, blow jobs, hello?

Blow jobs and hand jobs and just anything with the word jobs in it, Steve jobs, anything. Just job it up. Job of the hut. Whatever it has the word job in it, That's the alternate to intercourse. And that's a good idea. Sometimes that's all you want, man.

You don't want to have the heaven and the hoven and the, you know, the putting it in and pulling it out and getting all met. You know, sometimes it can be just as fun to just be touchy-feely. I don't like this headline. Schedule sex like you would any other activity and show up. well the idea of a romantic spontaneous sex act may be what many picture it's hard to find time for sex when people are consistently hard pressed for time that's what i was just talking about right we have to schedule sex like everything else andres said if you're scheduling going to a class you show up turn off your phone leave it in your car and people have to prioritize their sex life the same way they prioritize other things many people think a weekly date night will amp up romance but many times couples end up in a food coma

and don't have sex afterwards yeah you know it's I don't know this whole you got to ask yourself what's going on with your relationship when you start when you start setting up date nights I mean didn't you have enough date nights when you were like dating Like, you know, move on.

Maybe, I don't know. Maybe you have to move on to something more extreme. Maybe you have to go down the old swingers router, find a sex club, or go to club med and get liposuction. I don't know. I mean, once your sex life kind of starts to die, and you start trying to make it technologically. and start you know having date nights and this type of stuff isn't it kind of isn't it kind of like you

know dead i don't think it should be so technical so anyways um there it is i just thought i'd bring this up it caught my eye and i'm going to go have sex right now i guess i just have to figure out how, where, and with who? That's my dilemma. Maybe I'll set up a sex night as soon as I can possibly find someone that will even talk to me. And speaking of sex, I think,

do we have Dr. Debbie time? I mean, this is a good show to bring Dr. Debbie in. Because we have a life coach, Dr. Debbie timer, who frequently, calls the show and she does her little call-ins and she has people all the time calling in about sex issues and so I think we do we ever scheduled for tonight roj yeah we do okay well let's do we have any north korean news yeah we do right okay let's do some north korean news i think there's some breaking news out of north korea and then on the other side of the news break

Let's have Dr. Debbie Timer take over the show and we'll take some calls regarding, you know, sex and relationships and human interaction. Okay, Raj, hit it. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what... You want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item

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Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your business. bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. We interrupt this podcast for a very important North Korean news update.

What, what I'm, how long. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Gckon, darken, thorn bongue, humgawned, whomewomened, We all-ga-jong-ne-oosun-num-chied-a-ha-o-go-be-ha-ha-ha-ha-hombed-ha-ha-ha-l-l-l-l-l-la-ha-ha-ha-ha-n't. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming, and will keep you updated as events unfold. Hi, I'm Dr. Debbie Timmer, and I'm your life coach. I am my baby's mother's sister's daughter,

and it's time to get a life, your life. Well, hi, here we go. Hello, Roger. Hello, everybody. Thank you for listening from all parts of the country. My name is Dr. Debbie Thimer, and I will be your life coach. And we're going to be taking calls from, as I said, all across the land, from the west coast to the east coast, from north to south. We're going to be talking about issues that are going on in your life. and in particular today we're going to be talking about maybe

some of the issues that we all have from now and again in the bedroom or maybe sometimes we don't have a very spicy sex life that sometimes we get lackadaisical sometimes we're not in the mood and maybe we're looking for ways to spice things up a little

and remind each other how much love and passion and caring we have for one another. So without further ado, why don't we go to the phones? Looks like we have the phone lines lighting up, and it looks like we have a call from, looks like, Fort Worth, Texas, and we have Karen Bandleblast. Go ahead, Karen. You're on the air with Dr. Debbie Thymer.

Hello? Yes, go ahead. Am I on the phone? Yes, go ahead. This is Dr. Debbie Thimer, and you're on Dr. Debbie's show where I'm going to be your life coach. Oh, hi. Hi, Dr. Debbie Thimer. Hello, and you are...

I'm Karen Benderbast. I'm Karen. Benderbast. Well, there's an interesting name. Is that Polish or Swedish? Um, I think it's Chinese, Dr. Debbie. Well, well, I don't think it's Chinese child. Well, it sure sounds kind of China-ish.

Well, okay, and I guess that's not what we're calling about. I think what we're calling about is how our relationships develop in the bedroom and how we can keep them active and full of passion and fun. Yes, that's true, Dr. Debbie Feynman. I was calling because I'm a little bit embarrassed. He-he-he-he-h-h-h-h-h- Okay, well, sometimes sexual topics can be a little embarrassing, a little hard to talk about, but that's why I'm here, child. Okay, thank you, Dr. Debbie.

And what is going on in your bedroom, so to speak? Well, in my bedroom, I've got some wonderful purple curtains. We just bought a new set of pillows slips for our pillows. And over in the corner, we have some stuffed toys and a picture of my grandmother, Dr. Debbie Thimer. Um, okay, I didn't, I didn't mean what physically is going on in your bedroom child. I meant, I kind of meant what's going on emotionally, sexually. Oh, Rosie! Well, that's why I'm here to talk about these things.

Is there anything that's been happening in your home that has made you uncomfortable or has been made you maybe feel comfortable? Or is something different, child? Well, now that you mention it, Dr. Debbie Palmer? And you can just call me, Debbie, child. You don't need to say my last name every time. Okay, Dr. Debbie. Gheimer? Child.

I'm sorry, Dr. Debbie. I just couldn't resist because it flows off the tongue like a bag of Brussels sprouts crying in the night. Um, okay. Well, why don't we just get to what's going on in your life? And are you married, child? Yes, Dr. Debbie, I've been married for seven years. I have a wonderful husband who works at the lumber mill, and he chop chops the woodwood, Dr. Debbie.

I'm sorry? He chop chops the wood wood wood because he works in a lumbermill, Dr. Debbie. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, okay, let's, let's, um, focus, and let's knock off the stupid laughter. Oh, sorry, if I'm not allowed to laugh, Dr. Debbie Thimer. Well, I'm not trying to dissuade you from having humor, but this is a serious topic, so let's focus. Why don't you just hurry up and zero in on what changes are happening in your house?

Well, the other day my husband said to me, he said to me, goes, um karen bandovast i want to have a golden shower i'm sorry he said karen bandelblast that's my name dr debby i know what your name is child karen bandoblast yes i know it's karen bandelblast it's chinese dr debby listen bandelblast just stop saying your name and just tell me what your husband's and wanted. Okay, Dr. W. Well, my husband said he wanted to have a golden shower.

Oh, okay. Have you ever heard of that before, Dr. Debbie Viver? A golden shower? Well, it's child, it's, you know, it's a rather unusual sex act. It's

not a completely uncommon. It is a little outside of the box. Okay, um, I didn't even know it was a sex act, Dr. Debbie, Thimer. Well, you said golden shower, didn't you, my child? He, he sure did, Dr. Debbie. He said he wanted a golden shower. Okay, well, um, you know, it's a little perverse, maybe, a little, a little deviant.

It's not something very common that most couples engage in. Why not, Dr. Debbie? Well, it, uh, since we're talking about acts of sex and passion, uh, it does involve, um, you know, urination. Wow, wow. Oh, you mean like tinkle back together? Well, that's, that's maybe the preschool term for it, child, but adults refer to it as urine. So I should, I should say you want urine? A, what do it tinkle?

A child, your husband said he wants a golden shower. Okay. Which means, if I must describe it, it's when a, one of the partners is sexually aroused. Oh! When another partner urinates on the other partner. Oh, my God, Dr. Debbie. That sounds, oh, e! Sticky Sticky

Uly Uly Dr. Debbie Well, you don't I understand Your trepidation child But this is the type of thing Couples do But Just relax

Take a deep breath Karen Bandleblast Yes Karen Bandle Blast Now when did he say He wanted to do The Golden Shouse

Um, well, he wants to do it every other day, but he always does Dr. Debbie. Every other day, child? Yes. Well, that's a bit extreme. Well, he showers every other day. Okay, but this is, this is not a shower, child. This is a golden shower. That involves tinkle?

urine, yes. I call it tinkle, Dr. Debbie. Well, why don't we just be grown-up? and have some grown-up time and call it goddamn urine. Oh, Dr. Debbie, you're raising your voice because I said tinkle. It's urine, you stupid fucknard. Dr. Debbie, can I call it tinkle-winkle? Like that song, Tinkle Winkle little star at Dr. Debbie Thimer?

Okay, you know what? It's fucking urine, okay? We're not in grade three, so stop calling it. Tinkle? Shut your fucking gobb-festered, cracked-up, chapped fucklips, okay, child? Oh, Dr. Debbie! E! Yee!

You swearing makes me nervous. E! Stop the goddamn fucking laughing, you retarded, upside-down Easter Bunny. Oh, Dr. Debbie, I just want to talk about a golden shower. And I told you, it's when one partner urinate. But now he bought a golden shower head at Home Depot, and he wants to put it in our shower, because the one we have now is silver.

Excuse me? He bought a golden shower head. My husband loves gold, and so he wants to take the silver shower head out and put a gold one in. Just screw it in. Okay. Are you telling me, child? Yes, Dr. Debbie.

Are you telling me that your husband wants a golden shower and went out and bought a showerhead that's painted gold? At Home Depot! And he wants to screw it in. And remove the silver shower head, so no more silver showers, just golden showers, Dr. Debbie. But you told me he has to piss all over me, and I think that's dirty and awful.

Okay, you know what? You have no idea what the hell you're talking about. I don't want tinkle. I just want my husband to have a golden shower. It was his golden shower head, Dr. Debbie Thimer. Okay, you know what? Stop talking to me. You've blown out fuck-narded fat fuck.

Dr. Debbie. And stop the tarred laugh. You mental case. go slam your head in a refrigerator fucking door shut your fucking head oh god go to a nut go to a commercial cry a golden shower head

christ fuck me for my feminine itching I depend on vagusil cream to stop it instantly and for a painful burning itch I get maximum strength vagusil for even stronger relief. There's Vagicil

cream and maximum strength. Wow. Poor Dr. Debbie. Karen Banderblast or whatever the hell her name was. Oh my God. Dr. Debbie just always seems to get the oddest callers.

But anyways, at least she's out there caring and talking to people. And I don't know if it's intentional or not, but I just kind of makes me laugh a little bit to hear that. And we need to laugh, man.

Oh, my God. We are living in some very tough times where sometimes it's hard to find laughter. Case in point. Oh, the tragic, tragic school shooting at the school in Florida just recently. Something like 17 children and teachers killed gunned down by a demented kid. And, uh, oh, it's just, it's tough to process, man. It's, it's, you, you think about those young lives. They didn't, they didn't get a chance to, to really even get going.

And they're just gone. And I guess the reason I'm bringing this up is because I feel like, Like, you know, there's got to be a way to, you know, filter out these people and these weapons, you know, if the school thing was a one-off thing and it happened, you know, just as once, then we mourn and we grieve and we bury the dead and we pray that it never. happens again, but the fact that this is this school shooting thing is at an epidemic level. The fact that

the school shootings seem to happen multiple, multiple, multiple times a year and it seems to be growing. My question is, why can't we just create a system

much like where they have at the airport where people entering the school have to be processed. Like maybe there's a separate entrance for the staff, for the teachers and the faculty. But unfortunately, the kids have to go through one entrance every day. And you can make it big You could make it a bunch of lanes Just like they have at the airport

Why not just treat it like an airport You have like six X-ray machines And you have to hire extra people And you know Is it a little more expensive? Yeah But if this is the way the country is going to go then that's like something we got to do.

When you build a school, it's built in. It's like when you build a school, do you put glass in the windows? Why? To protect the students from the wind and the rain and the cold. So guess what? Now there's another element that's dangerous to the kids, and it's the other kids. And so the same way you put windows,

you put glass in the wind, Windows to deter and deflect whether you put a security system at the one entrance where the children go in and out and you screen them. And even though it may be uncomfortable, it may be a bit invasive, I'd rather have kids that are put out a little bit. than kids laying dead all over the school. And when you hear these stories about schools and not affording security guards and they can't pay for security, and I'm like, well, why the hell not?

Isn't this the richest country in the world? Isn't this a place where we give hundreds upon hundreds of millions of dollars to other countries all over the world? to help them? Why can't we give hundreds and hundreds of millions to our own country to help us? And this goes out to all political parties. This is not a big mystery gang. This is not a big, you know, I feel like if I was the president and this happened on my watch

and say, everybody getting around. Come on, everyone in the boardroom. we're not having one more shooting we're not having one more shooting we're not having one more child die how do we fix this anybody got ideas what we put in one big door

every school has one big main entrance we've got like six or seven security lines x-ray machines guards great we're creating jobs we're creating safety we're modernizing our system and we're meeting the challenge

of rampant gun Rifle murderers. Great. Done. Get out and start it. Here's the money. Here's the money. We've got, we're the richest country on the planet.

Go. You know what? We won't put up three bridges this year that we're going to cost $4 billion. Let's take care of the kids. Go. I mean, this really isn't that hard. And, you know, I've often wondered, you know, if I was the president, here's something that I would do

and I think it would work amazingly okay we all pay our taxes taxes are just to give in right we have no choice we have to pay our taxes but if I was the president I would I would start a thingy where in each community

I would find out what the community needed and I would say to that community, hey, the government is starting a donations page, okay? It's nothing that comes out of the budget. It's nothing that comes out of your taxes. This is for the community. If the community wants to pay an extra dollar a year in taxes, we will put that dollar in a big jar. and if you have a city of a million people, well, guess what, that's a million dollars. And even if half the people don't pay their taxes, that's half a million dollars.

So in other words, you know, people have to pay their taxes, but I'm willing to bet you that if the government started these voluntary donation programs to get things made, to get things done, to get things built in their communities and you could donate a dollar or you could donate $10,000. It's just a donation center. And the government has to tally that money and the money can only be put towards said project, okay? It can't be doled out any social programs

or any other kind of community outreach or anything. It doesn't go in the government's pocket. It's money that the community puts into a kitty because they need a new bridge. They need a new drainage system. They need new levees built. They want to put in new decorative lights on the downtown corridor. They want to erect a new city hall.

They want to put in a fancy skating rink in the park. And so this all goes into a private kitty, but the government sponsors it. The government sets it up and says, hey, community, if you want to get things done a little quicker, and from the private sector will allow you to donate and will help you facilitate this. And let me ask you this,

if one of the things that could be in the kitty, if one of the project was security at schools, wouldn't you donate a dollar to that if you lived in that community? I sure would, man. I'd donate $100. I'd donate $1,000. Every year, I'd be like, you know what? I'm going to put $100 in the school security guard kitty.

$100 out of my whole year. Now, can you imagine if everyone on your street, everyone in your community, everyone in your city put $100 into that kitty? Oh my God, it would be overflowing with money. If you had a million, okay, Los Angeles has 11 million people. Can you imagine if 11 million people put $100 in a publicly funded kitty, how much money there would be? And again, the stupid idiot government's not allowed to touch it and waste it

and put it into stupid programs and give it away to this and give it away to that and steal it and lie about it and bullshit about it. it goes right into a specific, specific go-fund-me account. And it's all monitored online and the tallies are shown and that money can only be spent on building that bridge or building that community swimming pool or building a senior center or whatever. I can't believe no president's ever done it.

Because they'd, you know, instead of, instead of, you know, they probably think, oh, my God, can, can you imagine if we ask people for tax money? But then on top of it, we asked them if they wanted to donate to, like, private funding for specific, you know, community projects. Or maybe no one's even thought about it. But see, I think the way we operate as a society is, is taxes are a given. in it's like that's money we kind of in it psychologically think oh we didn't even make that money that that money's just gone half my earnings a quarter of my earnings are gone to the government and because because you know that when you start then you uh then you kind of don't miss it as much you know it's like it's like you know when you get your paycheck that you're not getting all that

money so so i think the idea of making a don't nation is above and beyond the tax money. It becomes its own separate category. And I think people would be very charitable, especially if they knew it benefited their own community. If you knew you needed three new bridges or you knew they needed to widen a road or put in a sidewalk or whatever, and you knew that that affected the area you live, I think people would be more than happy to put in a dollar.

$200, $1,000. So I think it's a, you know, if I was president and with brilliant ideas like this, I think you all know I should be. Dalo. So anyways, this is all circling around wherein I think most people, even people without kids, single people and married couples without kids,

I have a feeling every single citizen who made, had a job, and made money would put money into a kiddie to fund security for schools and help build a perimeter around schools so that every student had to filter in and out of a main doorway. And I'm not talking about a tiny doorway so that children are lined up down the street for eight miles. I'm talking about a big wide doorway entrance that, you know, like you, like you see it in an airport.

And they get it down to a science, and these kids get shuffled through fairly quickly. And like I said, it's a bit of inconvenience, but at the end of the day, parents know that their kids are coming home. Unless, of course, you get some moron kid who decides to wait outside the school in some bushes. But that's another thing, you know, have the security walk. Walk the perimeter, walk the entrance, you know, it's not that hard to figure this out. I mean, good Lord, gang. I mean, we have bouncers at bars that can keep people, keep drunk kids out of walking in a bar. So why can't we, you know, we have security guards that keep idiots from jumping on stage at concerts.

We have cops directing traffic when the traffic lights go out. I mean, this isn't rocket science, man. But it's just no one wants to take the initiative. Nobody wants to get down and do it. Nobody wants to think it through. And everyone talks about all these tragedies like, oh, well, we did a study, and, well, the FBI, didn't track that guy because it wasn't, they didn't know his IP address.

And, you know, I'm not sure if this is a mental illness problem or a gun control issue. We'll have to study it. And, you know, these are really difficult things to figure out. And, oh, shut up. There's a freaking security guard at the bank when you go to the bank. He's standing there with a gun. There's security guards at the mall. I mean, if you really want to batten something down and protect it, you freaking can, man.

And, you know, if it costs the taxpayers some money, then put our tax money to something important like that. Instead of all the stupid money that gets wasted on stupid things. And I'm not even going to go into all of those things. So there you go, man And I'm just saying this because I was so heartbroken I was so angered I was so upset about these poor children

And yet another mass shooting Oh, it's just gut-wrenching And you got to wonder What does this country look like to the rest of the world It's just becoming a comic book it's becoming so commonplace and so you know you look at these other countries around the world that are engaged in civil wars

and wars like Afghanistan and Syria and the streets are shot up and people are dying and you kind of look at America and go well we kind of have the same shit except it kind of happens on a sunny day at schools and nightclubs and malls and birthday parties and art galleries and rock outdoor rock concerts and it's like a war zone out there man movie theaters holy jumping so at the very least you know at least at least out in public people

maybe have a chance to run and dive and maybe if we're lucky there's a cop around or there's someone, you know, a citizen carrying a gun that can intervene and try and stop a shooter. But, man, children and teachers in a school, they're just like fishing a pond, man. That's like shooting fish in a bucket. They got nowhere to go. They got no one to protect them. You know, and those schools are kind of, you know, they're, you know, They're kind of like lobster traps to begin with.

You know, when you think of your school, your high school, in a way, there is only a few doors you can go in and out. And you have to go down long hallways to get to them and go up and down stairs and pass a bunch of classrooms. And then there aren't a lot of entrances and exits in a school. So once that shooter gets in, a lot of students that most they can do is run from classroom to classroom and hide. So if we've already got the low amount of entrance points,

let's get some freaking guards on them, man. Let's start saving these kids. And, you know, if a kid does bring a gun, at least there's a very, very high percentage that they will be caught when they're trying to bring it in. And by the way, if there's this heavy security, most kids who are even thinking about this would be, you know, dissuaded because they would think

they'd never get past this intense security checkpoint. Oh, golly. Well, listen, hearts and prayers are with the families and the poor, poor kids that never got a chance

to grow up and live in this beautiful, wonderful world that we're in. It's just a shame. Imagine if you were one of the parents of those kids. It's just not right. So that's why I sound a little bit angry, a little amped up,

and I'm just tired of watching, you know, these full-grown men and women who are supposed to be so smart and they're politicians and, you know, they're running the country. And it's like, it's not that fucking hard, you idiots. What more do you need to know? You got a building

You put some fucking security outside And screen everyone who comes in the building And you put some fencing And you monitor the perimeter of the school Hello Oh man But they just sit there and jabber away And deflect and throw the ball this way

And that way and they're talking about everything but the simplest answers. It's so frustrating to watch. They're like a bunch of misinformed dummies. So I hope President Trump just, you know, sits down and goes, let's fucking fix this right now. I don't care what it costs. That would be sweet.

I hope that happens. And if he doesn't do it, then I hope the next president does or somebody does it. because we don't want to lose any more beautiful kids, right, everybody? So RIP, and let's hope that things start to change and not just stay the same and we get the same deadly results year after year. Something to think about. And you know what, I'll leave it right there. It's hard to go back into comedy when you're dealing with such a more.

morbid topic. So we'll leave it there. Let it sink in. And maybe one of you people out there who's a politician or planning to go into politics can adopt this idea that I have about, you know, the private funding for getting things done in the community and not waiting for the stupid government to do it all. All right, there. I'm out. I'm spent. I'm Karen Bendell blasted out. If you have any comments or, you know, anything you want to add to that or any other topic, you know where to get me at the Harland Highway Hotline, 323-739, 43330, 3-2-3-739-433. You can leave me any type of message you want.

You can also write me at Harlandwilms.com. great website we have a we have a lot of stuff going on in there um you can watch videos and hopefully those will cheer you up and you can download my new my new comedy album crowd control number four it's only three dollars you go right to my home page you can download it for three dollars and have a whole hour of laughter crowd control four is just me spritzing with the audiences at comedy clubs across the country just comedy in the moment hecklers drunk people silly comments and quite just me going at it no script no no pre-planning no writing just like boom boom boom it's a good laugh i think you'll like it for

three dollars you can't go wrong crowd control for it's right on the home page of harland williams dot com and and you know i'm kind of plugging this a little because i think i think laughter is a good remedy when we have to deal with this kind of stressful violence and societal upheaval laughter is always a good a good counterbalance to all that stuff so I encourage you to get that also check out our store we have a lot of funny gifts you can purchase videos DVDs t-shirts things like that artwork um also you can get our premium membership. Go to the podcast page at the website

and for $20 a year, you can get every single episode of the Harland Highway plus special bonus material that I put up from time to time as a premium member, $20 a year. And for free, you can get our app. We have an app in your app store, the Harland Highway podcast.

Just download that for free and you get the 50 latest episode. of the highway no charge and please tell your friends about the harland highway too yeah man we want we want people to join and have a fun you know what i mean uh um and uh for the youngans the young kids don't forget to tune into puppy dog pals my uh fun and sweet and innocent cartoon on disney junior uh and um by the way i started a special Twitter page just for Puppy Dog Pals fans. It's called Puppy Pals Bob.

That's the handle at Twitter, Puppy Pals Bob. And you can go in there and share photos and videos and stories and comments on anything related to the Puppy Dog Pals cartoon. Lots of fun. So a lot of people are joining up and sending pictures of their youngans posing with the puppy dog pals. stuffed toys and singing to the TVs and wearing their pajamas and it's a it's a lot of fun it's a lot of fun so I encourage you to join that and that's it man that's all we have for today

uh keep on smiling try to think good thoughts say a prayer please for all those poor lost souls in florida and let them know that you're thinking of them your fellow human beings cut down in the prime of their life and some of the teachers, too. Oh, and I'll just keep trying to bring the laughter and, you know, bring a little joy back into the world and keep you guys chuckling and thinking and talking and all the rest of it. So thank you for being here, and that's it. Until next time, everybody, chicken, chow, ma'am, baby.

I call it Tinkle, Dr. Debbie.