The Harland Highway - 940 - Dr. Ascot RETURNS. Pissed off at the news! Dead JULIA CHILDS!

Episode Date: April 30, 2018

Dr. Ascot returns to annoy Harland. Dead Julia Childs cooks up an Asian feast. Harland gets pissed at the news! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, everybody. It's the Harland Highway. Yeah, baby, it is. This is me, Harlan Williams, your host for the Harlan Highway podcast. We're going to have some fun today, boys and girls. Okay, that was just, I went from a Latino guy to an annoying freak, which kind of is what I am in real life, by the way. Here we go. Welcome to the podcast. What a show we have today. I'm going to be playing one of my pissed off segments or something that's going on that I don't like and you're going to hear me rant about it.

Yeah, not cool, man. It has something to do with the news. Also, Dr. Ascot shows up in my studio for therapy session and, man, does it get annoying quickly? I don't know. I guess he hasn't been around for a while and he says I'm overdue and he shows up and that guy just rubs me the wrong way real quickly.

Okay? Also, some phone calls from the pavement pounders. Yes, the pavement pounders. Not to mention also a North Korean news update. There's a lot going on, so we'll be getting a news update from North Korea. And then Dead Julia Childs. Dead Julia Childs at the end of the show comes in

with a fabulous new recipe to share with us. for those of you that like to cook. So it's going to be a great show. Put your teeth in. It's the Harland Highway. I have an announcement to me. You're about to go down the Harland Highway. Lock the door.

I don't want to be a product of my environment. Shut up. I want my environment to be a product of me. You're riding down the Harlan Highway. So, who don't have to fuck to get off this phone? I can get you off. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself. You're a cantalope.

Tideon. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. I'm ashamed, big daddy. That's why I'm a drunk. When I'm drunk, I can stand myself. Keep bleeding on that tutor, Charlie, and you're going to get a shot in the mouth. Act like a man! What's the matter with you? I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening to Harlan Williams. The rest is bullshit and you know it.

Hello, Alland. What the, what are you doing here, Ascot? Ohland. What are you, how, who, Roger, who let him in the studio? Holland. Stop saying my name, please. Why are you here? Holland.

Why are you... Why do you always say my name like that? Like what, Holland? Like you drag it out and it's slow and it's... Holland. Stop it! What do you want, ask God, and what the hell are you wearing? Holland.

Lemon, lime, corduroy pants? Ohland. Stop saying my name! The Holland. Stop! What do you want? Alland, I'm here for your therapy session. I'm not doing that anymore. If you haven't noticed, you haven't been around for a while. Exactly, Holland.

And that's exactly why I'm here. It's been a while, and the powers that be... Oh, great. Mr. Featherstone, my boss. boss exactly allant he asked me to check in oh god so we have to do a session exactly all right what do we have to talk about well what's on your mind allant what isn't on my mind the world's going crazy everyone's the news is always bad there's war there's politics there's i mean sounds like you have a lot a lot of negative energy, Arland. Well, it's not my negative energy.

It's negative energy that the world seems to produce, and sometimes it weighs heavy on me. Well, then why don't we do a therapy session that I call Sparkle? Sparkle Therapy. What? Sparkle therapy. That is correct, Arland. You know, I've never heard of this ascot. Right out of the gate, I'm calling BS.

Arland. Well, what is Sparkle therapy? Holland, every time something feels like it's going negative or down, you yell sparkle. What? Whenever things seem negative, Arland. Yes? You yell, sparkle. I yell sparkle.

Why don't we try it, Holland? How do we... What? Holland, I want you to talk about something negative, and then we'll yell, Sparkle. Are you serious... Holland, something negative. Okay, I don't like all this stuff that's happening

with the Syria and the chemical bombings and the... Sparkle. What? Sparkle, I need to you yell at Holland, right in the middle of the negativity, you'll sparkle. What are you... Say what you said again and then yell sparkle about 15 words into your sentences. Oh, God. I don't like this whole thing that's going on in Syria with the chemical weapons and sparkle.

No, I need you to say it like a dandy. A dandy? What the hell is a dandy, askot? I think we all know what a dandy is, Holland. It's a full-grown man who has a tendency to be, shall we say, effeminate. A dandy is a full, a full-grown man with effeminate tendencies. Correct, Holland. So I'm supposed to say sparkle, more effeminate.

Correct, Arlenet. Well, like... You can do it, Holland. Like what, like, Sparkle. I think you can tweak it a bit more, Arland. That's... Sparkle! Even more. Come on!

Ohland. Sparkle! There we go, now you're in the zone, you little dandy. Don't call me a little dandy. Don't call me a little dandy. Andy, you told me to do this. Go ahead, Arland, repeat your sentences. Oh, this is the dumb it...

Oh, Alan. God! I don't like all the stuff that's happening in Syria, all the chemical weapons. Sparkle! Excellent, Arland. Now, let's keep going. What else bothers you?

Well, I don't like the way the media twists everything. Sparkle. Sparkle! There you go. now why don't we keep going why don't we talk about some of your relationship issues well everybody has relationship issues let's get into them hollan and sparkle well i went on a date the other night and the girl wasn't the friendliest girl i've ever met and sparkle excellent harland excellent look i think i've done enough of this it feels weird but doesn't it feel good, Arland. Well, you know, in a way, it does kind of feel like it's letting something out.

Excellent, Arland. Why don't we continue with a little more sparkle therapy? Okay. Um, well, why don't we delve into my childhood? Excellent, Holland. I'll never forget the time when me and my family, my sisters, we were going on a road trip and my dad got mad at me because me and my sisters were making. noise and he turned around and he got really mad and he said i'm going to pull over and you're going to walk sparkle sparkle excellent allant yeah you know that felt kind of good well why don't we keep going arland um okay uh what else why don't we talk about uh disappointment you might have had in your career Holland. Okay, um, I'll never forget the time I was out.

I was auditioning for a movie, and I didn't get it, and I drove home really depressed, and Sparkle... Sparkle! Excellent, Arland. Now, let's shift gears. Well, I don't know. I'm actually kind of feeling good about the Sparkle thing. Well, let's go a little deeper, Holland.

Okay. Now we're going to do something. called I'm a demented fucktard therapy what what every time you feel depressed or something's negative you're going to yell I'm a demented fucktard no I'm not doing that what the hell is wrong with you oh and we finish Sparkle and now you're a demented fucktard I'm not a demented fucktard just try it one all and let's talk about something that happened in your life that was a huge disappointment to you all oh god well i'll never forget when i was a teenager i went to the prom dance and i there was this

beautiful girl in our school and i thought okay i'm going to go ask her to dance and i walked up to her and and asked her to dance in front of everybody, and she said no, and I'm a demented fuck-tard! How was that, Arland? That was horrible, and you know what? What are you doing? Now we're going to do some therapy called

I'm a bag of beat-up moldy, crusty, diarrhea-soaked potato chips, Arland. No, I'm not doing that. Then let's do a new therapy where you, yell Dr. Ascot is God. No, you know, now you're just making it up. Get out of here, idiot. Holland.

No, you're making me angry. Sparkle. Sparkle! I didn't mean to do that. See, Holland, I've got you conditioned every time you get angry. You yell Sparkle. Get out of here right now, Ascot. Sparkle!

There it is again, Holland. Get out of here. Sparkle! Get out! Spircle! Oh my god, get out! Sparkle! Excellent, Allent. Get out! God! Sparkle! No! Stop it! I'm not gonna sparkle. Go to a commercial, Roger. I need to get my... that guy just messed with my head. I'm so pissed off right and it! Sparkle! Go to a commercial! Sparkle! Go to a commercial! Sparkle! A walk through the woods on an early spring morning. Fresh is a gentle breeze that takes you by surprise. Fresh is simple. With Summer's Eve, the most convenient disposable douche you can buy.

This exclusive one-piece unit means there's nothing to assemble. And it's available in two fragrances or vinegar and water. The solution doctors recommend. With Summer's Eve, freshness has never been simpler. How many of you are antique collectors? Do you like to collect antiques? I have a very interesting antique in my house that, you know, kind of,

I just kind of realized it's an antique. And what it is, it's a, I still have a television. Okay, it's kind of tucked away in the corner of my office. I don't really use it, but it has a built-in VHS player. in it. For those of you who don't know what VHS is, they were videotaped. You used to watch

your movies on these big clunky black cases that had movies inside them on tape. And so I've got this old TV that still has a tube in it. Okay, it's a tube TV. And when I bought it back in the day, it was kind of a cool TV because it had the TV and the DVD. and the VHS built right into it. So it was kind of like everything in one, which was cool. But when I look at it, and it wasn't all that long ago, it looks like such an old antique. Like the idea of a tubular TV.

There's a giant tube inside. What? It's about like two and a half feet thick. It's heavy as all hell. it's not even that big and it's just so strange to think that you know not too long ago I remember going to buy the thing

and I was thinking oh this is kind of cool this looks sharp this says all the bells and whistles and of course you have to clear like this big space on your shelf or in your home to place these TVs because they're so deep

the tubes were so huge and you kind of to look at where we are now. And by the way, these tube TVs, you know, the one I'm talking about probably cost like, you know, five, six hundred bucks, you know, kind of crappy picture quality. But back then, you know, you didn't know the difference. You're like, oh, great, I can watch stuff in color. But now you can go into, like, if you go into a low-end store like Walmart or something,

you can buy a 62-inch flat screen TV for like 800. dollars? I mean they take up half your wall and they're about as thick as a laptop computer and they're crystal clear and they're in HD and they're like oh my god what don't they do I mean I feel like you can put cookie dough on top of a flat screen and it would cook it perfectly you know what don't they do so it's so weird because when I think of antiques I think of like

you know, an old rotary phone, or I think of a wagon wheel, or I think of an old road sign, or I think of an old China cabinet, or I think of something, you know, really old from like the 30s or the 40s, you know, an old oil burning lamp, or an old plate or something, an old painting. And yet here it is this TV that's like, you know, maybe 15 years old. just saying that out loud that that's actually a lot of time but but still it's so antiquated and you don't see them anymore even in hotels they've gotten rid of them you know but every now and then you'll go to a real cheesy old hotel that can't afford the update and they

still have a tube TV but it's rare to see a TV with a tube in it anymore and so here's this thing that, you know, it's just kind of by default, it's an antique, but here's the secret, it's still functions and I'm still using it because, you know, as most of you that grew up in the 80s and 90s, you probably have a whole

drawer full of VHS tapes with all, you know, pieces of your life, memories, little funny things you shot, you know, stuff you just take for granted now and do on your phone. but back then it was more of a big deal and you had to buy a tape

then you had to like you had to store it and you had to label it and you had to do all this stuff so so now I'm actually using the VHS and I've got some kind of a cable where I can connect the TV to my computer and I can digitize the VHS format videotapes

so now I've got I've probably got like 200 VHS tapes stored up. So now I've got to put them all in, and then I've got to capture them digitally on my computer, on my laptop. And it's crazy. So even though this thing's an antique, it still serves a purpose, thank goodness. But anyways, I wonder if you have anything like that in your place. Isn't that nuts?

Crazy-ass freaking tube TV. Antique. Weird. Hey everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy,

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this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. This is a true story. It happened right here in my town. One night, 17 kids woke up, Got out of bed, walked into the dark, and they never came back. I'm the director of Barbarian. A lot of people die in a lot of weird ways. You're not going to find it in the news because the police covered everything all up. On August days.

This is where the story really starts. Weapons. Hey, Harland. How you doing? This is cartoonist Jack. I heard your question on the last Charlene Highway you did about something that you knew you would like, but you purposely avoided because you knew it would be bad for you. And in my case, when I was in college, Minecraft had just came out, and it was this really addictive game that looked like a lot of fun. It was basically like virtual Legos.

And the reason I didn't try it was because the people I knew that were playing it, My friends who were playing it spent way too much time doing it. And a lot of times, you know, the graves would suffer and the social life would suffer. So I was looking at that, giving my personality. And I just said, no, not doing it. Rather spend my time doing other things. And thankfully for me, that's what I chose to do because I think if I had started playing Minecraft, I probably would still be living in my dad's attic.

So anyways, that's my two cents. It was great seeing you in Connecticut, and have a good one. Bye-bye. Oh, cartoonist Jack. Cartoonist Jack is one of my Twitter followers, and an incredible artist, cartoonist, and I felt so bad I want to apologize to Cartoonist, because he came all the way out to Connecticut to see me perform

at a casino out there, the Mohegan Sun Casino. and usually I do a meet and greet after the show and I go out and say hi to people and what happened, if you remember, there was a week where I couldn't do my podcast because I had this horrible cold and that was the weekend I caught the cold. I was just like I was operating at like 40% capacity

like my throat was sore. I was having trouble talking. I wasn't feeling great. And so it rarely happens, but I didn't go out and do a meet and greet after the show. A, I didn't want to get other people sick because people always want to shake your hand. And B, I just didn't have the energy. And my voice, literally by the end of my stand-up set, I was having trouble talking. Because when you get a cold like this, your throat goes out.

And it was a disaster. So my apologies to cartoon Jack. Cartoonist Jack, who came out. I'm glad you had a great time. Regardless, I wish you could have seen me when I was operating at 100%. As you probably noticed, I kind of just stood behind the mic, and I wasn't very animated. My energy was off, but I still tried to do the best show I could.

And Jack left me a wonderful drawing, a copy of a drawing he did, a great cartoon of a baker under my bed. from Rocket Man. So thank you so much, Jack. My apologies for missing you. And I'm glad you aren't hooked on Minecraft. I'll tell you, man, these games are addictive. I'm kind of hooked on freaking solitaire on my cell phone.

Don't start playing solitaire, man. It's like, it's like when I wake up in the morning, I play like a couple of games of solitaire. And then before I go to bed, I play. I have this ritual where I play three games of solitaire before I go off to sleep. And it drives my wife. No, I'm kidding. I don't have a wife.

But it's just kind of a habit. And I guess I find it kind of relaxing. And it's kind of fun on an airplane. It helps eat up time. But I don't know that it's healthy. And now I've downloaded a new game, Backgammon. I love playing Backgammon. So now I'm playing Backgammon.

So now I'm playing Backgammon. and at least backgammon, you're playing against other people. The solitaire, as the name says, it's solitary. You're just doing it on your own. So, God, these bad habits we have. And that's what sucks is the people who make this stuff. They know it. They know they're going to hook in.

And then just yesterday I found this weird little game because here's what they do. You play solitaire or backgammon. And in between games, they put up advertisements for more games. And you're like, no, no, no, no. And the advertisements are animated. They show you how you play.

And sure enough, eventually there was one there where it's this one where they put up a bunch of blank squares. And then there's a circle with about six letters in it. And using those six letters, you have to figure out the hidden words to fill all the squares they put up. So I'm like, okay, I'll try. Now I'm hooked.

on that. I got a I got a bury, I got to shoot my cell phone and bury it in Stephen King's Pet Cemetery, man. It's just like, it's doing too many things to me that I don't want or maybe I do want. That's why it's happening. But if I

sound pissed off, I'm not. If you think I'm pissed off about that, I'm not. It's more annoying. If you want to know what I am pissed off about, here's what I'm pissed off about. Hit it, Rod. Don't piss me off. This is hard.

You're really pissing me off. Oh, you're starting to piss me off, you little pigly some bitch. You pissed me off. Shut up, you're pissing me off. These fucking assholes, this fuck these fucking assholes! These fucking assholes! The fuck is their problem, man! Oh yeah, here it is. Here it is. it comes. This is what's pissing me off. Do you watch the news? Do you like watching the news,

right? Many of us like, even though a lot of it's negative and horrible. We like to be informed. We like to kind of see what's going on. And in the news, usually it's important. There's a scandal on Capitol Hill. There's a war in Syria. There's a murder in Connecticut. There's a there's a drought in Africa, there's a ship marooned at sea off the coast of Italy, there's a, you know, it just doesn't end. And so you wake up in the morning or you come home from work or you're in the middle of your day and you want to watch the news, you want to get up to speed, you want to be informed, you want to hear all the latest and the greatest.

And right in the middle of the news, and a lot of times it's the morning or afternoon more than the evening, but it happens enough that it's pissing me off. It'll be like, okay, here's a story about an assassination attempt of some diplomat, here's a story about a sex scandal, here's a story about a tornado in Oklahoma, here's a story about a school shooter, and now let's go to our hosts, and they're going to cook spaghetti carbonara.

What? Right? Have you ever seen this? In the middle of the news, suddenly they decide to, turn it into a cooking show, all of a sudden your news team is whipping up a lobster Florentine over on the, they walk over to the side and they set up a little cooking area, and they bring in some douchebag with white bleach blonde hair or some French guy who's all animated and if, oh, you thought you put their lemon and then you put that pepper all over the white fish and then you marinate it in the oil and what are you doing?

It's like, shut up! Were we just talking about children being chemically gassed in Aleppo? And now I'm looking at a salmon fillet with, you know, marmalade reduction sauce and a semi-manace glaze or whatever the fuck? Wasn't there just... Wasn't Kim Jong-in just threatening the United States with nuclear annihilation? and now I'm learning how to make beef stroganoff with a sherry brandy sauce?

What the fuck, man? What am I watching the galloping gourmet for Christ's sake? Why don't you just have Julia Childs read the news? And today, Kim Jong-ung practiced some chemical weapon tests on his own people, and there was an assessment, assassination attempt in the Middle East on the Prime Minister of Israel. And why don't you, while you're at it, pour some lemon juice all that, and hit it with a hammer? I mean, come on, man.

I don't need a cooking class in the middle of my fucking news. And all these news people are, suddenly they turn into retards, pardon the word, but it's true. I don't know if that's the joke or the... The producer says, act cute, pretend you don't know what you're doing. You know, there's this fancy chef's like, okay, what you do is you slice the tomato, and then the news guy tries to be goes, oh, let me slice the tomato, chopped chop. Whoops, hey, how does a knife work? How come I can't chop the tomato?

What's wrong with me? I'm such a silly. I'm such a silly inadequate kitchen fucked hard. It's not funny. It's not entertainment. Do you think people are sitting... Oh, wait a minute. There was just a chemical attack in Syria,

but hurry, someone grab a pen so it can jot down how to make fucking turkey dumplings for dinner tomorrow. What the fuck? So, yeah, I'm pissed. Can we knock off the news cooking classes, please? I mean, what's next? You want to stop the news so I can learn out of knit? Maybe we can stop the news and I can get one of those nasal machines and you can show me how to flush out my snotty nose.

I mean, God, man, like stick to the news. I don't need to be finding out what's going on in the world and getting all fired up. And suddenly I'm learning how to make cinnamon blueberry crapes. Christ. So there you go. me, I'm pissed off, knock off the cooking crap, and just stick to the news. Thank you. And speaking to news, I think, Roger, I think we have a North Korean news update. So let's, that's fitting. Let's play that.

And hopefully nobody breaks in and starts cooking in the middle of it. We interrupt this podcast for this fast-breaking important North Korean news update. This is this case, now now that's again become make sure the government, particularly, the government-who-ho-ho-sun-seriems,

then-who-to-sook-de-hearmen, that much-to-sock-nalshung-sudry-nungs of nung-sudry. We now return to our regularly-scheduled programming. Thank you for listening. Wait, Roger, what is that music? What is that funeral music doing? Hello, Harland. Oh, my God. Hi, how are you, Ireland?

Well, it's, oh, my good, dead Julia Childs. I was just, I kind of mentioned you in the last clip. Yes, I heard you talking about North Korea, and you mentioned my name. I tend to hear a lot when I'm down in the ground listening from the grave. Wow, Dead Dead Julia Childs, good to see you. You look like shit? Well, yeah. Well, I've been dead for so long.

My face keeps falling off. Well, we're glad you're here, I guess. What a surprise. Did you have a new recipe dish you wanted to run by us? Well, actually, yes. I have one since you were talking about North Korea. Okay. It's called the North Korean smorgasbord.

North Korean smorgasbord. Okay. How does that work? Well, it's fairly simple to prepare. Are you ready? I guess so, yes. Here I am. I talked about hating cooking segments, and now I'm doing one.

Well, I've been in the grave so long. You're not going to deny a corpse. It's chance to shine, are you, Harlan? Well, I wouldn't do that to you, Julian. By the way, you're an old guest, so I would never... Whoops, my arm just fell off. Hang on. Oh, there you go.

Can I help? Just shove it back in there. There you go. I'm shoving it back in there. That's what she said. Very funny, Julie. So how do we make the North Korean smorgasbord? Well, as you know, they don't have a lot over there at North Korea, Harland. Well, that's true.

They are pretty destitute. So here's the recipe. What you do is you get a slice of bread, okay, and you put nothing in it. Nothing. That's right. Nothing. Okay. And then you put another slice of bread on top of it. Okay. And there you have it. Your North Korean Smargesborg. Well, that doesn't sound like very appetizing. There's nothing in there. It's two slices of bread. Welcome to North Korea's world. But there is an upside. Okay. When you eat a whole bunch of nothing, okay, you have lots of silent farts to play. play around with. Listen to this one. Julia, I don't think... Oh, God, Julia, that's what happens when you eat basically air. You're going to silent

fart until your hair turns blue. Oh, God, you've been dead. How long? It doesn't matter. A fart's a fart. Sometimes the silent one smell the sweetest. Well, not in this case, Julia. Oh my God, it's like a Somebody just drove me past a swamp Well, that's what you get when you eat a North Korean smorgasbord How about a nice long one? Isn't that fun? It sounds like I'm spraying spray paint on a wall

And Julia, that's the dead Julia chance That's the longest silent fart I've ever heard. Well, how can you hear it if it's silent? Oh, all right, I'm getting tired. My other arm's about to fall off. I better get back to the graveyard. Okay, dead Julia Childs. Well, thanks for the recipe.

You're welcome here. Grab my leg. Okay, why? Just lift it up. Okay, I'm lifting up your leg. Oh, God, Julia. Enjoy your North Korean side. smorgasbord. I'll see you at the moonlight when the graveyard gets dark. Goodbye.

Wow. Goodbye, Julia. Geez. A North Korean smorgasbord, and she's silent farting all over the place. And trust me, folks. Okay. God, do we have any of those pine tree air conditioners, Roger? We can hang around the office. It's one thing for someone to do a silent fart, but we you've been dead for 40 years? I mean, that's really rancid. Yes. All right, I think we're going to have to wrap it up after that, man. I don't know if we can...

I can't sit in this studio any longer. It smells like someone like rubbed a cabbage on a skunk's asshole. Pardon my French, but God. Ugh. That's it for now. What can I tell you? Let's see. What can I tell you?

Fox. What would you like to hear? If you're listening to this, I am at this point in time, I am in Lebanon right now. I had to pre-record this one because I'm doing stand-up comedy over in Beirut in Lebanon. Can you believe it? If you don't hear from me again, it's because, you know, there's a lot of shit going on in that part of the world. And I might be blowed up, or I might not be. But the truth be told, I've heard from the people who are bringing me over. that Beirut is a real kind of hip cosmopolitan cool city.

So we'll see, man. I'm heading over there. And then I'm going on a bit of a, I'm going over to, where am I going? Is it? Singapore. Heading over to Singapore for a couple of days. And then I have a buddy there who runs a boat cruise down the river systems of Cambodia. So then I'm jumping on this boat and I'm floating down the,

Cambodian water system for four days and four and five nights or something, or five days and four and whatever. And then from there, I'm shooting up to Hong Kong because I figure I'm on that side of the world and I may never go to Hong Kong in my lifetime. I've never been to China. I've been to a lot of places in the world. Never been to China. Never been to Hong Kong.

So instead of coming home from Cambodia, I'm going to just jet up to Hong Kong and spend a couple of nights right on the harbor. I just booked a hotel room with a view of the harbor. And I'm going to goof around in Hong Kong. So if you want to see any of this stuff, I'm going to, I don't know what my phone service will be like over there, but hopefully I'll be Instagramming a bunch of video and stuff. So if you want to follow me on my little mini tour

and see these exotic parts of the world, feel for you to join me. Join my Instagram or my Twitter. my social media and maybe you can kind of come along on the trip with me. Now, this plays into what I said. Remember the beginning of the year? I tell you guys this every year. I say every year, just step outside of your comfort zone.

Step outside of your box. Every year I try to plan a trip. I shut everything off and I try to go to a part of the world that I've never been to before. So in this case, I'm hitting three. Originally, I thought the Cambodia trip was going to take in Vietnam as well, but it's not. So I'm going to Beirut, Lebanon, going to Singapore, and I'm going to Hong Kong. I've been to Cambodia before, but I haven't done the river system. I've been to Angor Watt and some of the great temples and architectural sites and unbelievable.

So I'm excited, man. I'm excited. It's fun. right now and I'm in Beirut right now if you're listening to this and then I start the Singapore part of my trip on Wednesday and onward so like I said get on my social media Twitter at Harlan Williams Instagram at Harlan Williams and if you want to hopefully I don't know if I can transmit from there but I'm going to try if I can I will and I'll try and share some interesting sites with you guys so that you're you're going to.

you're on my trip with me. The pavement pounders. Go to the other side of the planet, man. So anyways, this is my yearly thing that I force myself to do. You know, I don't force it, but I go out of my way to make it happen so that I'm experiencing the planet I live on, right? And what it has to offer. So we'll see what happens.

And there you go. But there will be more podcasts. I'm pre-recording so that hopefully I have enough to, get us through the other side of my trip so there you go um and then when i get back from my trip i will be doing stand-up comedy in phoenix arizona baby may 17 18 19 it's stand-up live great club stand-up live phoenix arizona please come and uh and catch the show it's going to be amazing and then the following month in mid-june i'll be in winnipeg Canada. Oh, my God. Winnipeg, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

A great club called Rumors, and that's going to be June 14, 15, and 16. All these dates, comedy dates, are on my website, Harlan Williams.com. I suggest you go on there and look because later in the year I'm coming to Pittsburgh, I'm coming to Calgary, I'm coming to all these great cities all over the country, Spokane, Washington, some great, some great gig set up, Irvine, California. So check it out, Harlem Williams.com. While you're there, check out our store. We have a great store where you can purchase fun items.

We'll ship them out to you. Still have a few of my hand-drawn t-shirts in the store. I personally draw them on T-shirts, and they're kind of one-of-a-kind. what else please join while you're there hit the contact button and you can send me an email or if you feel like leaving me a voicemail 323-739 43330 there is that number is it the website if you want to if you want to remember it through the website also join our premium membership $20 a year oh yeah $20 a year get you every episode we've ever done and free bonus stuff that I post from time to time.

And, oh, lastly, get our free app, man. We have an app. Oh, excuse me, little remnants of that cold I was talking about. We have a free app in your app store. Just type in the Harland Highway podcast. Boom, download for free. The latest 50 episodes are right there for you. And you can listen to the show wherever you go.

So that's it, man. That's all we got today. Hope you had a great time. Look forward to the next one. And until next time, everybody. Chicken. Chow ma'am, baby.