The Harland Highway - 946 - CAMPFIRE TIMMY drops by. Roseanne FIRED. Harland pissed at LAX-SUX.

Episode Date: June 11, 2018

Campfire Timmy drops in to sing his stupid songs. Roseanne and Twitter. Harland pissed at LAX airport! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh boy, here we go. Here we go. This is it, the Harland Highway podcast. Welcome, everybody. Thank you for being here today. I'm Harlan Williams, your host. And we're going to be doing a Harlan's pissed off segment. It involves airports.

I think you'll all be able to relate. Uh-huh. Yeah, airports. What's not to be pissed off about? Also, summer is kind of here, sort of. And guess what that means? Campfire Timmy. is popping into the studio, puk, to sing some of his stupid campfire songs, which I hate,

might be the most annoying guy on the planet next to Cinnamon Boy. So Campfire Timmy will be here. Also, we're going to open up the Harland Highway listener mailbag and read some of your emails, and I will respond to some of your wonderful emails that you have sent to. into me, which you can send to harlomwilliams.com, by the way. And then also towards the end of the show, we get a little more serious. As you know, Roseanne Barr tweeted some racist crap, and she was, like, fired from her own show within hours.

And I'm going to talk about that. It's more of a serious topic at the end of the show. I'm going to talk about not only the racist tweets, but what are we as a society becoming with all this tweet stuff? Do we want this stuff to happen? Let's find out on the Harlan Highway. I have an announcement to know. You're about to go down the Harlan Highway.

Lock the door. I don't want to be a product of my environment. Shut up. I want my environment to be a product of me. You're riding down the Harlan Highway. So, who don't have the fuck to get off this phone? I can get you off. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.

Ha! You're a cantalove! Tideon! Tudda Tadon! All right, hold tight on the Holland Highway Show! I'm ashamed, big daddy! That's why I'm a drunk when I'm drunk, I can stand myself! Keep leading on that tutor, Charlie, and you're gonna get a show. Shot in the mouth. Act like a man!

What's the matter with you? I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening to Harlan Williams. The rest is bullshit and you know it. Hello? Hello? Hey, Arland, it's Ethan from Dallas again. Listen, you missed the meeting.

Subcontractor appreciation event today in Dallas. I'm sitting in traffic now, you were supposed to be there and you weren't and uh you know kind of a big waste of time for me hope campfire timmy comes over there and put the foot in your ass anyway chicken chamein baby uh first of all did not get the memo about the meeting uh second of all had i got the memo for the meeting uh wouldn't have been there regardless Not my field of expertise. Don't know anything about what you were talking about.

Although I could probably fake it pretty good. In honor of subcontractor appreciation today, we'd like to say that we're very pleased with the fine, upstanding work of all the subcontractors. And even though Dallas does not have a large fleet of submarines, we appreciate your subcontracting work. that's called faking it and secondly

broussapioche uh no no no no campfire timmy will not come and put his foot in my you know what because campfire timmy we don't want him here I know we're kind of right at the edge of the beginning of summer

here and uh he is not a welcome what hold on what the rogers there's supposed to be someone here come in hello come in hi oh god don't oh god me what are you doing here kid uh hello there uh simon and garfunkel face look don't start with the names what are you doing here uh it's almost summer stupid and i'm singing campfire songs. Listen, Camp Fire, Timmy. I was just talking about you. Yeah, no kidding. Why do you think I'm here?

Fat Flubber, Thunder, fuck? Stop. You're not going to walk into my studio and call me names. Okay. Maybe I'll sing your names. Excuse me? Oh, you're a fat, fuck, fuck, fuck face. Fuck, fuck face. You're a fat, fuck, fuck face. You're a fat, fuck, fuck face. You're a fat, fat, fat. You're a fat, fat. fuck face cut it out you don't have to yell at me well what do you want me to do you're singing you're insulting me with your singing yeah spit it out there trombone tits what trombone tits you heard me look what do you want here kid you know what i want it's almost summer okay so so i come here to sing campfire songs oh god Don't god me

Why don't you get two pieces of camel poop And slap them on each side of your face And become a camel shit sandwich Listen, Ken How many songs do you have? Three! Okay, you know what? Just to get you the hell out of here

Why don't you sing them and buzz off? Oh, buzz off. Well, were you born in 1973? Gee, great. Groovy, man. That's really far out. What a mind bender. Christ.

Why don't you go stuff your head in a box of crackers and fart soup all over your face? Kid! Get it going! Oh, what's that more 70s talk? Far out, buddy. Groovy, man. Suck cauliflower.

I'm not going to suck cauliflower. Hurry up. What's your first song? It's a campfire song. Okay, and what is it? It's all about how the lilypads grow. Lily pads grow. Yeah, in the swamp.

In the swamp. Yeah, like the swamp and your smelly underpants, fart face. Ted, sing your stupid song. All right, shut up. Hurry up. Lily pads. Lily pads. PADS!

Look at the... Kid! Shut up! Lily pads! Lily pads! Look at the swirling lilypans! Kid! Shut up! I'm singing!

Fart tonsils! Lily pens! Lily pads! Look! Look at the swirling lily pants. Kid, that might be the most annoying song on planet Earth. Yeah, and your underpants might be the most shit-stained pieces of garbage on the whole universe, like the shrouded turin. Kid.

Lily-pans, looley-pins, Louley-pud. Kid, stop it. You sound like one of those stupid slidewist. I'll bet you know all about slide whistles, don't you, purve? Listen! It's a lily pad song! It sounds like one of those stupid circus slide whistles. Let me finish.

Hurry up! Loolepads! Forget it, kid. Move on to your next song. Suck a bag of stew. Suck a bag of stew. That's right. What does that even mean, kid?

It means make a bowl of stew. Okay. Pour it in a bag. All right. And suck it. What is your next song? It's another nature campfire song. Okay.

And? It's about fire sprites. What the hell are fire sprites? Ah, hello, stupid. When you light a camfire, there's a lot. there's a legend that little elves made out of fire come dancing out. I think those are called sparks, kid. Well, in campfire lore, they're called fire sprites.

Campfire lore. That's right. Where do you even get this jargon? Oh, jo... Whoa, well, hey, far out, groovy, hippie. Why don't you put your elevator shoe right up your ass, disco fuck? Hurry up with your stupid song. What is it?

It's called Fire Sprite at night. Fire Sprite at night. That's right. Kind of like how at night you go to the Motel 6 and Power Slam Hors. I don't Power Slam Hors at the Motel 6, you idiot. Shut your wagon wheel face. Wagon wheel face. You heard me.

Hurry up and do your dope. Oh, go fart some broccoli sauce. Hurry up! Oh, I'm sitting round the campfire, yes, say, yes indeed. I'm singing round the campfire, slapping on my knees, and what do I see? Fire sprites, fire sprites, fire sprites, hee, hear them giggle, giggle, giggle in the night, hee, fire sprites, fire sprites, Kid, I did not think you could out annoy me With the stupid lily pad song

And now, Fire Sprites, shut up, I'm singing! If you call that singing, I'd like to hear a hippopotamus Put Saran Wrap over its asshole and fart underwater. You are one sick, fucked up puppy machine. Hurry up and finish. Oh, fire sprites at night. Fire sprites at night. What a fun delight of fire sprites at night.

Fire sprites, fire sprites, fire sprites, fire sprites. See them sparkle. Fire sprites, fire sprites, like elves in the barkle. Fire sped? Oh, God. This is just making me squirm. Yeah? Why don't you wait till the rainfalls and squirm out of your hole like a fat fucking pungy

dewworm, you fat punk? Look, are you done? No, fire sprites, fire sprites, see them dance in the light. Fire sprites, fire sprites, twinkle, twinkle all night. Okay. Yeah. Is that it? Maybe.

What do you mean, maybe? Fire sprites. No, no, no, you say it's done. Okay, maybe it is. Good. Maybe your eyes are crossed like you live in a trailer park. and have a banjo up your ass. Do you have one more song, kid?

Yes. Hurry up and do it. What's it called? It's a campfire song. Okay, what's it called? It's called I smoke weed and eat pussy every day. What? Shut up and let me do it.

You're not doing that song here. What the hell? Shut up! Or my father's going to fire your thimbly ass. Oh, God, go ahead and do your stupid song. What's it called? I smoke weed. Yeah?

And I eat pussy every day. Good Lord, kid. Shut up! Go ahead and do it and get the hell out of here. Shut your greasy lemon meringue pie hole. Hurry up! Okay! Oh, I smoke weed and eat pussy every day, because I'm a lady!

I smoke weed eat pussy every day And every day is kind of the same I smoke weed eat pussy every day Hold on god what the hell Shut up I'm singing I have fun and I feel no shame I smoke weed and eat pussy every day I have fuck

Okay stop What What that did how is this a campfire song And what do you know about smoking weed and eating pussy? Oh god Oh, God. Oh, I know what's going on. I'm not living in the 70s like you.

Groovy, wild, far out, peace hippie? And by the way, hippies smell like dirty bar rags. And I bet your underpants smell like urine, pizza pie, and fucking crabgrass. Ken? Are you done? No. I still got more. I hit the blood like her

You're slim shady Because I'm a motherfucking lady Oh Stop it Wow, what's your problem Gargoyle tits? I'm not gargoyle tits, kid Well, you're

What are gargoyles? They're scary monsters That hang on the sides of buildings Yeah Well, you've got scary tits That hang on the side of your blubbery belly Kid I want you out of here

That song is disgusting It's not a campfire song I don't know what it is It's called modern And if you don't know how to sing around a campfire Then why don't you dive into the depths of hell And have barbecued spare ribs With Satan's ass cheeks

Barbecued spare ribs with Satan's ass cheeks You heard me Frankenfurter farts Frank get out of here Up yours Out! I'm a motherfucking lady! I suck pussy and I get out!

Holy crap! You know, I almost don't want Summers to happen now because of this kid. Can't fire Timmy, and I can't do anything about it. His freaking father owns my pot. He owns the network that my podcast plays on. And so I'm bummed. I can't do anything about it I gotta have this idiot in here every summer

and he just gets worse his voice gets worse his songs get worse the lily pad song that the fire sprites and this last one I smoke weed every day and I oh my God hey everybody

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So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Can we cancel summer? Is that doable?

Can we just forget summer? And then I got Barbecue Eddie coming up. Jeez, I mean... I smoke weed, eat pushy every day. I can get out, get out. Get out! God! Don't piss me off.

This is Harland Williams. You're really pissing me off. Oh, you're starting to piss me off, you little pigless some bitch. You pissed me off. Shut up, you're pissing me off. These fuck these fucking assholes. The fuck is their problem, man. Yep, we might as well do this segment.

Well, I am pissed off, okay? I mean, I'm already pissed off about something, but Camp Fire Timmy just set me to a boiling point, so this will be a good way to get it out. Now, I don't know how many of you have been to LAX. Do you know what LAX is? That's the code name for Los Angeles International Airport. Now, many of you probably haven't.

So this might not resonate with you because you haven't been to L-A-X. It should be more like S-U-X, sucks. And herein is my beef. Los Angeles International Airport, God forbid, you ever have to go there. But I'm sure some of you have been in places similar that are a complete disaster. LAX, Los Angeles International Airport. I don't know where the X comes.

comes from L-A-X. I don't know. The code words for airports are a little weird. How does Los Angeles International Airport turn into L-A-X? But anyways, this airport is the most dysfunctional, outdated, small, useless piece of garbage on the planet. Okay? Here's an airport in Los Angeles that was probably built in the 50s.

the 40s, the 50s, the 60s, I don't know when it was built. But at the time it was built, it was probably meant to service, you know, like, you know, 800,000 people, maybe a million people. You know, Los Angeles was smaller when it was built. And so now the Los Angeles region has 11 million people, okay? 11 freaking million. Not one million, 11 million, maybe more. And so now this outdated piece of crap airport is undersized.

It's useless. And whoever designed it, I don't know if they thought they were being artsy or it was some kind of, let's get that designer, let's get that architect, that French guy, Blosgeron, or let's get that Spanish architect, Felipe, or whatever. You know, I don't know who they brought in to design this thing, but it runs like an Escher painting. You ever seen an Escher?

Escher is a famous artist. He's famous for he's got like these endless stairways. Like if you look at his paintings, they look like optical illusions. It looks like a stairway leading to an upside-down building, and then a stairway leads into a stairway. and they're like perpetual stairways. It's like if you look at his paintings, it looks like you can never get off them,

the way he's kind of designed them. And they're very confusing. And it looks like a nightmare. If you ever got on an Escher painting stairway, you'd be lost in eternity. And that's what LAX is like. It's like the hallways don't match. The terminals don't meet.

They'll put you into a terminal where it's not your terminal, they'll say, oh, Delta Airlines, Terminal 2. And then you go there, you get out of your cab or you park. And then it turns out, oh, your gates in Terminal 4. So now you've got to like walk underground all the way across the whole airport. Instead of them just telling you where your gate is, there's like, there's several different checking areas, American Airlines. It's like half their gates are at the terminal.

And then the other half you have to get on a shuttle. and take a shuttle right out where the planes are. You're literally driving beside the planes taxying. And they're taking you all the way like a half mile to another terminal. This is an international, one of the most populated cities on planet Earth,

and they've got you on a smelly little shuttle bus driving out beside the airplanes. All the service vehicles, the food trucks, the gas trucks, the diesel, The missile trucks, the mechanics, the airport police, you're literally in traffic beside giant airplane. You look out the window, there's a giant airplane wheel going by. It's actually kind of cool, but it's not what you want when you're trying to get a flight.

You know, you show up at the airport and, you know, you've got to, it takes a half hour to check in, and then you've got to get to your gate. Well, all of a sudden, now you've got to factor in an extra 15, 20 minutes to do this, and they don't tell you. And then the way the airport's designed escalators don't go up to the right floor, elevators, escalators, escalators, stairways, doorways, things don't match, things don't meet, everything's obscure, even in the parking garages, the way they designed the parking garages, the floors don't meet, bridges don't match. I mean, you're just, this place is like walking into a Rubik's cube. It is the dumbest, stupidest, bad airport. And then most airports you go to nowadays, you go into the men. They're like malls.

Like you can go to Pittsburgh. You can go to Denver. You can go to Houston. You can go. I mean, there's fine dining. There's pubs. There's massage parlors. There's shopping.

I mean, some of the, you almost like, you almost want to go to the airport. You know what LAX has? LAX, if you're lucky, you're turn. Terminal has a magazine shop and a Starbucks, and you're lucky if you get that. It's unbelievable how lackluster this. And they can't even put stuff in because there's no room. It is so lame, it is so outdated, and so it deserves to be ripped down. They really need to tear it down to the ground and rebuild for the future.

But instead of doing that, what they've decided to do is they've decided to spend a crap load of money and put cosmetic facade onto the airport. So now when you drive up, they've got all these, like, plastic lights, and they put up some columns, and they put up some new signs, and they put new facing on the building, this white, you know, fiberglass, uh, groovy, uh, facade. And it's like, I don't care what the, building looks like. Give me a functional freaking airport. And it is bad. Man, every time I go there,

I'm not kidding. I've been there probably 700 times. That's where I fly out of what I go do all my traveling. And I travel a lot. That's why I'm so pissed. It's like, I'm not kidding. Almost every time I go there, I take a wrong turn. I go down a wrong hallway. In the parking garage, I go down the wrong ramp. I go to the wrong terminal. I go to the wrong gate. I can't find something to eat. There's no choices. I got to go to a magazine shopping by a bottle of Coke and a bag of bugles at 7 in the morning because they don't have a place you can get a, there's no restaurant. There's no, it is really a piece of crap. It is so frustrating. And imagine, like, I'm there all the time and, you know, one out of every six times I get lost.

Something goes wrong. I go to the wrong thing. I'm in the wrong place. I mean, I go to airports all over the freaking world, and they're really nice. Most of them are really good. And LAX is a piece of garbage. It's hard to get in and out.

As you can imagine, there's tons of traffic. When it was built, it was, like I said, It was set up for a lot less people. So you can probably breeze it out of there. Now it's like being in rush hour traffic. You're backed up. You know, the garages don't have enough parking spots. I've literally gone for flights in the morning to park my car at the terminal.

And the terminals have signs up that said, oh, a lot full at an airport. So now you're like, you're like, what the hell do I do? Now you're like trapped, you're looking for a place to park, you're at the air. Oh, my God. So I just had to vent. It is a living piece of crap. They're trying to make it better by doing cosmetic surface changes. They're not addressing any of the infrastructure.

They're not addressing the size, the parking, the accessibility, the confusion. So be warned when you get to LAX, the shittiest, piece of crap airport of planet Earth. There, I got it out of my system. Thank you for listening. I hope you never have to land at L.A. Sucks. Letters. Oh, we get letters. We get your letters every day.

Mailman, mailman, mail today. Yep. Reach right in and pull one out. There we go. Those letters. I like those letters. Let's find out of what you've got to say. Oh, boy.

Mailman. Ding-da. Mail to-day. All right. Here we go. It's that time, gurgle glargans and bingo bargains. It's time to read your emails, and I'm the only one in the world who, when you email me, I get a piece of paper. It flies out of my wall.

I don't know how. Um, let's read here. Thank you for your letters, by the way. If you want to, uh, write me an email, uh, it's at Harlan Williams.com. We have a contact link. But for now, let's get to the letters that have already been sent. Here we go. Uh, dear Harland, I've been listening to your podcast each week for the past couple of months. Well, thank you. I love the Sparkle therapy bit from a few weeks ago. I'm a counselor myself. I'm a counselor myself. so it really made me laugh, and it's funny how it slipped into another podcast a couple of weeks later. It's also great hearing about your trip overseas, sound like you had a lot of fun. Hope you had a happy Memorial Day weekend. Well, thank you very much. There's no name on that one, but it makes me laugh that the Sparkle Therapy was performed on me by Dr. Ascott, and it was not fun, but it's not fun.

but it's nice to see that everyone else was amused by my torture session with Dr. Ascott. And it makes me smile to know that you're a therapist and it gave you a kick. So there you go. Let's do a thank you for writing. Let's do another email here. Here's an email from Ed Dunbar. Ed Dunbar. It says private parties.

Hey there, Harland. Wondering if you're available for private parties. My wife is throwing me a 50 of the beach. day party in San Marcos, North San Diego County on June 2nd. I'm a long-time fan. I have a tremendous respect and aberration for what you do. I could even do a lame opening. Thanks, Ed Dunbar.

Oh, well, first of all, Ed, happy 50th. Fantastic. You made it half a century, man. Half of a hundred years. Wow. And as to your request, I'm flattered, I'm honored, just that you would think of me for such an intimate affair is, does not go over my head lightly. I know that you wouldn't want someone that wasn't someone that meant a lot to you or made you laugh or whatever. I appreciate that.

Unfortunately, I don't do little private parties. it's a little tough it's it's a tough environment it's it's uh it's just uh it's not really conducive to what i do and uh and regretfully i uh i will not be able to be there to perform for your birthday party but again thank you for asking for me uh i wish you all the best if it helps i will be there in spirit and uh i hope you have lots of laughs and uh congratulations for your happy 50th birthday okay how's that sound um it's always tough when people ask me to do that stuff but it's uh it's just uh it's tough it's tough uh let's go to

the next uh let's go to the next letter here we go subject small fan okay here we go This is from a small fan. I am a super small fan who has regained interest in your work recently. I was first introduced to you in Superstar when it first came out and recently rediscovered your talent again on Amazon Prime Video, which has that movie plus a couple of your comedy specials. So I've been watching those. My movie on Amazon Prime, I think that's my indie movie,

Fungy Wudgy Fudge Face Thank you for watching that I've started listening to your podcast It's funny the way you talk about Scott Farkas is how I feel about your character Slater and superstar Scott Farkas was the

the freckle-faced bully in the Christmas story I think you did a very good job in that movie Slater was such a sweet character and you definitely did a very good job making him likable and such an endearing character

Well, thank you. Slater was a character I played in the Molly Shannon movie Superstar. And it was an interesting role for me because I kind of had to play kind of like the sexy brooding motorcycle stud. Which isn't normally what I'm known for, but I kind of got into it and it was a lot of fun. And it really resonated with the ladies. I got a lot of feedback from the ladies saying, oh, Slater's so hot. He's my fantasy. I'm like, all right, cool, man.

She goes on to say, I remember watching you on Conan when I was in college, early 2000s, and I thought you were funny then, but I haven't seen many of your other movies. I know you do stand-up all over, and I'd like to see a show, but it looks like you're not going to be in the Midwest any time soon. Wrong.

Well, sort of the Midwest. I guess not. Cleveland. I'm going to be in Cleveland, Ohio. That's not really the Midwest. Okay, you got me there. She says, I live in South Dakota. I would road trip to

Minneapolis to see a show or Omaha or Sioux City would be good too. Sue Falls would be even better. How about your house and I do your 50th birthday party? That would be even better, right? Well, hopefully I get to the Midwest. It doesn't look like I have any

Midwest dates coming up. Let me just double check. I think I'm in Pittsburgh. I have Pittsburgh in the fall. I have Calgary, Alberta coming up. I have Spokane, Washington. I have Pittsburgh on October 4th. But yeah, I don't know if I have anything right up right where you are.

I apologize for that. Maybe in 2019. But anyway, she says, keep up the good work and come to the Midwest some time. Well, I will, small fans. and thank you for your letter. And I'm going to work on that, man. I've got to get to the Midwest, okay? Midwest.

Let's see, what else do we have here? Here we go. This is from Sean. Subject your gravy baby. Hi, Harlan. This is Australia's favorite hetero male Sean, just messing messaging you to say you make my little family smile

especially when you get a call from everyone's favorite supreme leader Kim Jong-oh keep up the good work and chicken chow maine baby well hey Sean thank you so much I love it knowing that people are listening in Australia

the other side of the world and I just did a podcast with Kim Jong-ung I think it was last week So, hey, good timing with your letter. Thank you for listening. And keep on smiling over there in Australia. Do me a favor, spread the word, man. Spread the word in Australia.

Here we go. This is another letter here. An email from Rochelle Ryan. Rochelle, I like that name. Rochelle. It's very sexy. Rochelle says, Hi, you make me happy, love you.

Thank you. Wow. Hey, I like that. Short and sweet. Boy, if I can make someone happy and in return, I get loved. I mean, is there a better deal than that? Woo! Let's do a couple more here.

Here's an email from Lovia Wright. Subject puppy dog pals. There you go. my show on Disney Jr., my cartoon. Hi there, I'm writing you to let you know that my two-year-old is in love with bingo and rolly. She watches the same episode so much. I now sing all the songs.

I think you did an excellent job. Thank you for your time. Lovia. And guess me, my daughter. Oh, okay. guess she has a daughter, too. Oh, wait. Oh, her daughter's name.

Funny name here. What is it? G-E-S-Y-N-E. G-N-E. G-N-E? Hopefully I'm not butchering your daughter's name, but it's not a common name, but it's a beautiful name. G-E-G-E-S-Y-N-E.

G-S-Y-N-N-E. I don't know. I'm trying to say it right. But thank you so much. Glad you guys love the show. And if you haven't tuned in, to puppy dog pals and you have kids or nieces and nephews, check out puppy dog pals on Disney Jr.

It is a lot of fun. Here we go. Let's do two more here. Here's a letter from J.Rims. It says, thank you for the entertainment. And this episode was particularly entertaining. as your sidekick and you had solid chemistry. Would be nice to hear more of this.

Fun. Anyways, off I go. Cheerio. Oh, I guess he's talking about podcast 936. My sidekick was particular. I don't know who that was. You'll have to go reference it, but whoever it was, whatever it was, thank you for your feedback.

and uh thank you thank you thank you thank you all right let's wrap it up with one more email here we go this is from egan subject oh here we go again puppy dog pals i just wanted to say thank you for creating such a fun show my daughter astrid two and a half would watch it all day every day if i let her it occurred to my wife and i that people probably don't say thank you to artists such as yourself often enough i am more important importantly, my daughter, hope there are many more seasons to come. Thanks again for bringing some happiness to toddlers everywhere. Well, how about that?

Holy smokes. Egan, thank you. You know what? That does mean a lot. And, you know, we don't often hear it. And that means a hell of a lot. Thank you so much. I appreciate those kind, kind words.

And it makes it all the more fun to do what I do when I hear encouraging. and positive messaging like that. And most important of all to know that your young in, your daughter, Astrid, is just loving the show and that you guys are loving it. And that's what it's all about, right? So there you go. There's a few of your letters to the Harlan Highway mailbag.

Roger, let's close it up. And again, thank you for your letters, everyone. And you can always write me at Harlandwilliams.com. Just go on to the contact link. And I do read all the emails, and we save them up, and then we do them in the listener mailbag. So there you go. Close it up.

Another letter from our listener's day. Speaking of letters, are tweets considered letters? I don't know. But recently, Um, our old, uh, well, somebody's old friend, Roseanne Barr, uh, tweeted. And, uh, she tweeted some, some nasty-ass tweet that, uh, was very racially charged and involved, uh, African-Americans and Muslims and Planet of the Apes and just a, really an ugly thing to tweet. a horrible thing to say, a horrible association, when are people going to get over the whole making fun of black people and, you know, associating them with primates and apes and it's just, what kind of idiot does that in this day and age?

like it's just it's just so sad to see and uh it's it's just wrong and it's ugly and it's it's hurtful and and you got to ask yourself why why does a grown woman or a grown man even go there why why does their their brain even go to that spot how is that still even a thing But anyways, Roseanne got fired for her hateful and cruel tweet. And, you know, a couple of things happened when I saw this happen. I thought, you know, Roseanne to me has always been boorish. You know, when her show first came out in the 80s, I just didn't understand why people loved it so much.

She was kind of a heavy, slobby type of person who was foul-mouthed and loud and obnoxious and kind of, kind of that person, if you got stuck beside them on an airplane or you were trapped in an elevator with them or you had to sit beside them in a movie theater, you'd just be like, ooh. And I always thought that she represented kind of that ugly size. of Americanism, like that kind of in your face, kind of, I'm a big fatty and I don't care, and I get out of my way, give me a beer, you know. I was never a fan of that. I just always thought it showed a sloppy side of America.

Not to say it doesn't exist and not to say that people who are of that ilk are bad people, but I just couldn't understand why Americans glorified it and why Americans like helped propped it up and liked it. I don't know. It just seemed like it wasn't very classy. You know what I'm saying? And so it doesn't come as much of a surprise to me to see this stuff. And just like that, her career is over.

Her hit show was canceled. and that's that. And, you know, she learned her less than the hard way. And many more will probably learn their lesson the hard way with making stupid tweets. But beyond all of that noise, you know, there's something else that occurred to me that might be even a little more sinister than the horrible, dark, unacceptable tweets. And I think it's this.

I think we live in a society where have you ever seen videos of a barracuda hiding in the weeds waiting for an unsuspecting fish to go by? And the barracuda goes darting out and gobbles it up and rips it to pieces and swallows it whole? Have you ever seen the video of the zebra

eating in the grass out in the African plains and there's a lion hiding in the grass and the lion jumps out and rips it down and tears its throat out and kills it. It's ugly, right? It's part of life, but it's scary and it's ugly. And part of me feels like, not just with Roseanne,

but with everyone else, with the president, with people on the left, with people on the right, whatever your political affiliation, your religious affiliation, your race, your creed, your color. I feel like we've become a society where everyone's just waiting in the weeds, waiting for a misstep from somebody, someone who's got some fame, someone who's got some notoriety, maybe someone who doesn't even have fame, maybe a school kid, maybe a mayor in a small town, maybe a politician in a small town. maybe a priest, maybe a poet, maybe a guy who owns a restaurant, who knows.

But it seems like everyone nowadays is a small fish. And the media and the Twitter sphere and the internet, they're all just waiting, man. It's like you ever see those cartoons where someone walks into an attic and they light a lighter and all of a sudden like, a thousand yellow eyes light up and you look up and there's like a bunch of vampire bats hanging from the roof and it's really scary and foreboding and ominous well i'm worried that there's a more ominous side to people and society now wherein we're all just waiting we're all just waiting to

vilify, to point the finger, to disrupt, to end someone's career, to ruin someone's lives. And I'm not trying to take away from what Roseanne did or anyone else did who's done something bad. But I feel like the sport is now, gotcha. Oh, we gotcha. and there's very little wiggle room now for an explanation or the acceptance of an apology or maybe looking at the person's bigger contribution to the world, their bigger frame of mind, as opposed to one little remark that does deserve to be punished and shot down and chastised and all the rest of it.

You can't go around making racist remarks and, you know, demeaning people and all the rest of it. But let me ask you, honestly, do you think we're almost at a place where it's not even about what the comment is anymore? It's the joy, the fulfillment, the gratification that the populace is getting by knocking people down? It's like, oh, gotcha. You were walking the line, you were you were saying things here and there, you were controversial, you were, you're an edgy comedian, but oh, gotcha! We've been waiting and waiting, and there it is. And yeah, people should be punished, people should be hauled out on the carpet for things they've done bad or things that they've said. but I almost feel like we have to look at ourselves and go

what kind of society are we where we're almost, you know, not even interested in the racial comment or the religious slander or the gender slander or the sexual orientation. It's just like, it's almost like we're fishermen. We're just happy that we came home with a catch. We got one.

And I think what we're losing is the nuances. We're losing those little spaces between the notes where we can go, okay, a black sportscaster on ESPN made some very horrible homophobic comments or made degrading comments towards whites or Rosanne made a degrading comments towards whites or Rosanne made a degrading comment towards blacks or a Latino person made degrading comments towards Asians. And it's almost like have we lost the sensibility to recognize the wrongdoing

but also kind of go, okay, you know, are we willing to forgive? willing to decipher what was said and done, why it was said and done, are we willing to administer feedback and punishment, or are we just like, it's almost like sniper fire? It's like, there she is, I've got her in my scope, I'm just waiting for her to say something, and boom, gone. Now again, let me be perfectly clear. I am not giving anyone an excuse or or a pass on any type of racism or all that bad stuff. I'm just asking the question is,

are we getting to a point where we're all going to become afraid to say or do anything, even if it represents some of the ugly side of us? Are we no longer as human beings allowed to have an ugly side or a slip-up? or say something bad and be accountable for it, but at the same time, you know, maybe do the time and get out of prison. I guess I'm worried that we're becoming a puritanical society where, you know, it's almost like that movie Pleasantville, where all of us, whether you're Roseanne or you're a farmer,

we're all just walking around on eggshells and nobody's ever going to say anything negative or controversial and even though we don't like that stuff we have to admit that it's part of the human lexicon everybody has a negativity or says things that can be controversial or not what we'd like to hear but if we all become this one kind of mass of hi how are you today well don't you look great you're perfect i'm perfect everything's perfect i mean i don't know man is that what we want

i've always said that if if someone's racist or someone's uh you know uh mean or ugly or bad let them say it because then we know who they are and what they are. And yes, like I said, we do need to admonish and punish and punish and make clear that some things and some points of view and some things you say are unacceptable, but I also wonder how far this is all going. Where people who have spent their life for their career, and I'm not talking about Rosanna, Now, I'm talking about the whole spectrum, have contributed, have brought joy,

have brought laughter, have created income, have created jobs, have created, and if they make a comment, do they have a chance to defend it and say, hey, I'm sorry, and it's stupid, or is it just like, crucify them? It's hard, right? because one side of me with Roseanne, it's like, yep, she got what she deserved. That kind of crap is not acceptable. You do not say that stuff. But the other side of me, or not the other side.

A part of me is wondering, are we just all kind of sitting around like barracudas in the weeds waiting for this stuff now? Has it become a sport? Has it become a way for us to make us feel better about ourselves when maybe all of us have a dark side too? And I think we're really shot home to me as with these newscasters. As soon as the story break, I started watching the news and all these newscasters on all these news channels, they had like this kind of glee in their voice.

They had this look in their eyes. They have this lilt in their voice where they're like, yeah, we got it. We got a news story. We took down another big one. We landed a big fish, done, cut it, gut it, stuff it, hanging over the fireplace. That person's history. Yeah. There was almost like this bloodlust, this, this lusting froth in their voice, in their tone, in their demeanor.

And I'm like, I guess that's what made me think of all this. I was like, this is a tragedy all around. First of all, the first tragedy is that someone had racism applied to them. The first tragedy is that Rosanne said those horrible words. And then after that, there's more tragedy. There's all the people that lost their jobs and their income and their livelihood because of what Roseanne did. All the crew and the actors and the producers and the writers that worked on her show,

done and you know there's multiple layers of residual hurt and damage and uh rosan should have done it but i guess i don't know it's like what what are we becoming though what are we becoming when we we just we're just waiting for it and i wonder psychologically if some of these people who blurt this stuff out or are maybe testing it. They're like, well, I'll write something really edgy and see what happens. And then boom, you do it and, you know, I don't know. I don't know what the answer is. But A, any form of racism tweeting it or saying it or anything wrong, unacceptable.

okay make that clear and then be the whole the whole twitter thing and the results and the people who are lusting for seeing people fail what's that all about i'm just throwing it out there as a as a concept as a as a concern as a as a possibility what is that all about what are we becoming whether someone's tweeting about racism or anti-semitism or homophobia or muslimphobia or who knows what it's just it's interesting this whole twitter and internet stuff is is dragging

the human consciousness and human psychology in many different directions now and I don't know if it's if it's a good or bad or pretty or ugly, but it's something we all got to keep an eye on, man. And I'll leave it right there. Woo. Stuff to think about here on the Harlan Highway. Let's wrap it up with that, Roger.

Let's wrap it up with that. So let's see. What do we got? Let's do some announcements. shall we? Uh, what do we got going on? We got, uh, we got some, uh, some comedy happening. Uh-huh.

Comedy happening this week. Yeah, you can catch me on, uh, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Winnipeg, Manitoba. I will be doing, uh, Rumors Comedy Club up there. And, uh, great comedy club, Winnipeg, Manitoba. Come on out and have some laughs. And then I'll be in Cleveland, Ohio, July 12th, 13, and 14th, at hilarities. And then the following weekend, I'll be at a casino in New Mexico. I'll get the name and info, but this just got booked, New Mexico.

It'll be a casino gig. It'll be a lot of fun. So there you go. And don't forget, you can write me at harloughwilliams.com. Also at harlorems.com, all my stand-up comedy dates. You can check them out and pre-order your tickets on the comedy link. You can also leave me a phone call, a message at 323739, 43330. And we might just play your message on the podcast.

Don't forget to get our free app and your app phone for the Harlan Highway. Don't forget you can become a premium member for $20 a month or $20 a year. Hold on. $20 a year. That's a steal, man. Get you every episode we've ever done. Plus bonus material when I get a chance to put it up now and then. So there you go. Tell your friends about the Harlan Highway.

Thank you for all your letters. Thank you for your phone calls. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends. And until next time, chicken, chau me, baby? Hey, far out, groovy, hippie. Why don't you put your elevator shoe right up your ass, disco fuck? Thank you.