The Harland Highway - 950 - Summer fun with CARL FLAVORS. How to not feel down! BBQ Eddy is back!

Episode Date: July 9, 2018

Summer fun on the beach with CARL FLAVORS. How to not feel down! BBQ Eddy is back! Harland has a nature encounter. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, hello, pavement pounders. How are you today? Is everybody doing all right? Good. Hey, everybody. This is Harlan Williams. You are on the Harland Highway podcast. I am your host, Harland Williams. What a show we have today. Oh, my God, Barbecue Eddie is back and he is on fire. This guy is calling everywhere looking to hook up a barbecue for the summer. So you know summer's on when Barbecue Eddie's in the house. He'll be throughout the show today making calls. And speaking of calls, we got a phone message from someone who's a little bit sad. One of our pavement pounders is in a funk is not feeling good. And he asked for my advice on how he could feel better and get out of the funk. So I'm going to be talking to him.

And hopefully I can help later on in the show. Also, I had a wonderful encounter with nature. A sea creature came up to me. the waters of the ocean and oh that was just wonderful down at the beach and then speaking of the beach we're going to check in with uh carl flavors this is a guy who lives down at the beach he lives a very bohemian lifestyle women and music and drinking and beach parties and so we're going to check in with them and see what the hell he's up to as summer kicks into full gear so put your tanning lotion on and your space helmet this is the harland highway i have an announcement

you're about to go down the harland highway lock the door i don't want to be a product of my environment i want my environment to be a product of me you're riding down the harland highway you're riding down the Harlan Highway. So, put off the fuck to get off this phone. I can get you off. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.

Ha! You're a cantalope. Tideon. Tideon. Tadda-da-da-ta-da-ta-da-ta-ta-ta-da. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. I'm ashamed, big daddy. That's why I'm a drunk.

When I'm drunk, I can stand myself. Keep bleeding on that. Tudor Charlie and you're gonna get a shot in the mouth. Act like a man! What's the matter with you? I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening to Harlan Williams. The rest is bullshit and you know it.

This is Eddie. He wants to party. But they just hang up. Four seasons, I'll help you. Hey, how's it going? Good. Uh, it's Eddie. I was calling to see if I wanted to do a barbecue today, or? I'm sorry, you're calling a business.

Oh, well, your number was in the barbecue club, uh, book, and I was put together a barbecue today. The field nursing facility. Pardon me? You're calling a skill nursing facility. Oh, do you do barbecues or because I'm throwing together some ribs today and some shrimps. I'll be laying down some shrimps and stuff.

You're hungry. What the hell? What the hell? What? That was Eddie. He wants to party. But they just hang up. Oh, summertime, huh?

Barbecues and going to the beach. And speaking of going to the beach, oh, my God. Have you ever communed with nature when you're at the beach? Have you ever had a moment with a marine animal or a fish or something like that? Oh, my God. So, as you know, I live in California,

and we have the beautiful Malibu Beach. and the Santa Monica Beach and the Manhattan Beach Beach and the Long Beach Beach and there's all kinds of beauches down here in California. And so I went down last week and, you know, the water's kind of cold if you don't know. On this coast, it's pretty, the water's pretty cold. The ocean is not like tropical and warm in California. The water is like very chilly. Even in the summer, it's like hovering in the 60s. So it's not the warmest water.

So what I did is I just, I wandered in. I waded in up to my knees, up to my thighs, my knees, that general area. Keeping the family jewels just above water level, because when that cold water touches that area, look out, summer's over. And I'm standing there in the surf, and all of a sudden, Oh my God, I almost get emotional talking about it. A sea turtle, a great big sea turtle. I mean, this thing was the size of a briefcase, okay?

It floated up to me, and it seemed uninhibited. It didn't seem scared that I was a human. And it was like drifting around my legs, floating around my legs, and it was weird. It was a rare sea turtle. It was albino. Have you ever seen an albino sea? turtle? I mean, I just felt blessed by God. Like, A, a sea turtle is like swimming around my legs. And

B, it's an albino, probably one of the rarest type of sea turtles there are. And not only was it swimming around my legs, but it moved in closer and it was brushing. It was brushing up against my legs. And so I thought, do I pet this darn thing? Does it want some affection? And sure enough, I put my hand down, and I started petting, I started stroking, and I'm like, so proud. I'm like, I must be some kind of special nature person, right? I doubt that sea turtles let everyone just touch them and swim around their legs. And so now I'm getting a little boastful, and I see the lifeguard standing there, and I'm like, lifeguard, sir, sir, I'm yelling, and look, I'm petting a sea turtle. look it's an albino sea turtle

and he got on his megaphone and he was like sir that's a plastic grocery bag you might want to stay away for that's a plastic grocery bag from from Ralph's grocery store yeah you might want to stay away could be some

infectious bacteria on there sir just you know step away and so I'm standing there looking like a moron petting, you know, I didn't want people to think I was an idiot, so I pretend, what? I didn't hear you. And I just kept petting it, and I tried to feed it some seaweed. And I just, you know, I didn't want to look like a goofball, so I pretended it was a turtle for a while. And then I kind of slowly looked around and walked out of the water and got my car and drove away quickly. And that

ruined my day at the beach. So there you go. My little, my little summer. Beach, a little summer beach nature connection. You're right, I probably have hepatitis C. This is Eddie. He wants to party. But they just hang up. Hello?

Hey, how's it going? Good. Awesome. It's Eddie. I was checking in to see if you wanted to throw a barbecue today or? I think you have the wrong number. I got some baby back ribs. We could slam them down and glaze them up.

I think you had the wrong number. Who are you trying to reach? I got your name from the Barbecue Club list for the summer barbecue. No, no, wrong number. We got Heineken's and... What the hell? What the hell? That was Eddie

He wants to party But they just hang up Oh Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie Will you ever find a barbecue Who knows We'll keep checking in with barbecue Eddie See if he

He lands a winner Hey everybody Who wants to have better sex No? Yes Yes the answer is yes You always want to have better sex That's what you want it to be better Not worse trust me

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and 100% free shipping, Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Meanwhile, you know, we're talking about summer. We're right in the throes of summer, right? I mean, it's on, man. It's on. And no one represents summer more than our friend

who lives down in Venice Beach. I was talking about being, you know, at the beach and saw my sea turtle. But we have a guy that just his whole existence, is the beach. This guy named Carl Flavors, he lives down in Venice Beach, California. He's kind of, you know, one of these guys that practically lives on the beach. It's his whole lifestyle. And he's there like every day all year long. And I think he's one of these guys that we all kind of emulate. We all secretly wish we could have the carefree existence that Carl Flavors has. I mean, this guy's just

out surfing and swimming and hanging out with with hot girls and becareful. and I mean who wouldn't be envious of that right and so you know from time to time we like to check him with Carl Flavors and just kind of live vicariously through him and even though many of us are vacationing and will go to the beach I don't think anybody does it up the way Carl Flavors does it so Roger do we have do we have the Flaves on on the phone we do okay cool so we're going to call in with Carl Flavors and just catch up on his wild lifestyle and kind of sit back and enjoy it and live vicariously through him. Put him through, Raj.

Carl Flavors down in Venice Beach. Uh, hello, Carl, are you there? Carl Flavors, hello? Yeah, what's up, Rochefiociocio, brosiarciociocio. Well, as I live and breed, look who is, it's Carl the man Flavors. Oh, that's right, brash, the Flaves is in the Waves, right? I bet you are in the Waves.

Holy smokes, that's why we're calling. We just wanted to check in, see how your summer's going, Carly. You having fun at the beach? Oh, Brosh. I mean, the Flaves is always having fun at the beach. I mean, Flaves is fun, is my middle name, is the Waves Flaves. Um, I didn't really, what? Well, you know what I mean?

My middle name. Right. What is your middle name? Uh, the waves. The Flaves is in the waves. The Flaves is your middle name? Yeah, I guess so, Brosh. Whatever you say, you know, right?

Okay, so what's happening? Are you having fun at the beach this summer? Oh, well, you know, well, you know, the Flaves is I always having fun in the waves, bro. She has, ah, she, oh, she, she, oh, she, oh. But, you know, it's been a bit of a rip bum this year because so far, and it's early in the summer partay season, right? But the Flaves has been getting harassed by the Beach Rangers and the local authorities, and the Flaves has accumulated a number of fines on the Beach Ochi-Och-Och-Ochia. Wait, wait, on the beach, on the beach, you've been fined? Uh, yeah, and I'm not happy about it because, you know, the Flaves is the life of the party down here at the Beach Ocho Ocho, Och, and, you know, if the Flaves isn't in the waves, then nobody's having a good day.

You know what I'm saying, Brocey-A-Osh-O-Shi-Osh, A-O-Shi-O-Sh. Um, okay, we're waiting, what can you tell us about what you were fine? Well, you know, the Flaves is always coming up with great activities on the beach, Ron. Yeah, you're always doing something down there. Right. Yeah, every time we call you, you're putting together some kind of a little shindig. Right. Yes, yes, I said you are.

So anyways, the Flaves tried something new this year. You know, first I had wet T-shirt contests, and I'd Sandcastle contest, I'd surfing contests. You know the drill, right, brochi-o-o-e-o-che-ish. Oh yeah, you've told us all about that stuff So this year the Flavs decided to try something That was a little more physically demanding But it incorporated the waves and the beach And a lot of people having fun, right?

Okay, I'm sure it was Can you tell us what it was? Yeah, it's a new thing I called the Baby Turtle And, you know, anyone can play, anyone can be involved And it's like a contest And at the end you win, you know, a couple of free drinks and a t-shirt that says the Flays loves the waves, right? Okay, that sounds harmless enough. The Baby Turtle? What does that mean?

Well, I don't know if you watch National Geography-Oce-O-O-S-Bro. What? National what? Geography-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-A... National Gino, like the Nature Show, bros. Oh, National... Geographic. Uh, hello, bros, that's what I said. Uh, light bulb moment, brosh.

Well, sometimes your surfer terminology throws me off a little. Right. Oh, yes, right. Right. Yes, I said. Now, what is the baby turtle contest? Well, as you know, bro, a lot of people like to picnic down at the beach, right? Yeah, everyone loves.

to eat down at the beach. Right, and sometimes, well, there's not a lot of facilities at the beach, or if there is said facility breciation, you have to walk quite away, and you've got to leave the beach area, right? Yeah, yeah, I agree. Sometimes finding a place to relieve yourself at the beach is not the most convenient. Right, so that's why the Flaves came up with a little game called the Baby Turtle. Well, what is the Baby Turtle?

So imagine, Browse, that you come down to the beach, and you're swimming and you're frolicking in the waves, right? Okay. And all of a sudden you stop and you have lunch break and you like, you know, eat a big fat burrito and maybe some tacos, maybe like a few hot dogs and whatnot, really stuff it down your fucking key lime pie hole, right? Okay, watch the language. And then you go out swimming again and all of a sudden you feel it, right, broush? What? You feel what? Like you can have a food baby, bro, like you got a big, like, you know, you get all that food churning in there, and then all of a sudden, right, your system wants to push out a baby turtle.

Well, what, your system wants to push out a baby turtle? Well, that's the euphanism I use for down at the beach, right? Because with the flames, everything is about the beach, right? Okay, I guess. So, here's what happens. because it's hard to find the facilities, and someone may have a food baby, well, here's the game I came up with. It's called Baby Turtle, okay? Okay, how does this work?

So, anyone who has to, you know, take a big dumperoni. A what? A dumperoni, bro. Yeah, are you talking about going number two? Uh, de lo, broshaelosh, osloosh, osly, osly, osly, brash. Okay, someone has to. to go number two. But they're in swimming and having fun and they don't necessarily want to go off

beach, right, to use the facilities. Okay, we covered that. So here's where the baby turtle game comes in. Have you ever seen turtles like giant sea turtles on National Geography, Oce Oceoosha. National Geographic? Right, the big sea turtles, they come up on the beach, on their belly, right, they pull their fat asses right up on the beach. Well, let's not call them fat asses.

They're an endangered species. Ah, fat asses, brooch. Okay, so people are pulling themselves up the beach on their stomach. Like a sea turtle, right? Okay, like a sea turtle. And then, you know, they have to go to a certain line that the Flaves have put in the sand,

like almost like a finish line, right? Okay. And then once they get to that line, They have to, with their back feet and their arms, they have to flap them like a bee, like a seed turtle, right? Like a sea turtle digs a hole to lay its eggs, right? Yeah, I've seen this. They come up on the beach, and it looks very labor-intensive. The sea turtles, like, have to scoop the sand and dig a hole, and then they drop their eggs in it.

Right, bro, so what happens is these people who have a food baby crawl up the beach. They lay on the sand, and when they get to the lawn, they start digging a hole, and then, brous, whoever lays the biggest baby turtle in the hole wins. What? What? What? I said, brous, whoever lays the biggest baby turtle in the hole wins the prize, broush. What do you mean? Lays the biggest baby turtle? Well, the seed turtle lays hundreds of eggs, right? Okay.

But people who eat too much and they have to go number two, well, they lay a big, what I call a baby sea turtle. Are you talking about... Wait, are you measuring the size of people's bowel movements? And is that what you're referring to as a baby turtle? Uh, d'allel, rye, like, thanks for putting the pieces together, bro, she is. Oshy, oh, she, oh. Hold on.

You're having people who need to go to the bathroom, crawl up out of the ocean, on their stomach, dig a hole, and drop... Drop a log in the hole, or as I call it, a baby sea turtle, brooch. A baby sea turtle. That's what you're calling their bowel movement. Well, I mean, if you're going to act like it, you ever heard that saying, bro, walks like a dock, quacks like a dock, looks like a dock. Oh, by the way, it's probably a dock. Okay. So how about swims like a turtle, crawls like a turtle, drops a giant log in a hole like a turtle, must be a fucking turtle, broush. Oh my God, so human beings are crawling up out of the ocean on their belly, and I'm assuming they're naked.

Well, to let me have to be naked. I mean, when was the last time you dropped a power log right through your shorts, brooch? Okay, so they crawl up naked on the beach, they dig this ridiculous hole. Right. And they huff and they puff and they push out a giant bowel movement, bro, or as I call it for the 15th time, because I don't think you're hearing me, a baby sea turtle. Carl, a bowel movement is not a baby sea turtle. Hey, it's my game, bro, shiosh. I make up the rules, and if I say it's a baby sea turtle. turtle, you better go along with the Flays, or you're not going to win a t-shirt that says

the Flays loves the waves, brooch. Oh my God, so you've got all these people dropping the kids off in a hole on the beach where there's other people, where there's other beachgoers. Hey, they're allowed to get involved if they want to. And what I can't believe is that I'm creating fun, I'm creating a competition, I'm putting out prizes on my own fucking time and dough, right, and the authorities come and shut me

down, they can go suck a giant watermelon right up their fucking, uh, fucking surf tube, bro. Carl, I think maybe you might be on the wrong side of this argument here. You cannot on a public beach

have human beings crawling up on the sand and taking a giant dump in a turtle hole. Oh, so now Why don't you just find me too, bro? I thought this was supposed to be a friendly phone call. Okay, I don't want this to get contested. I know you're trying to have fun.

I know you're... Just trying to have people drop the baby turtle off, bro. The baby turtle. Can we move on? Okay, if you want to, but that's not the only fine I got, bro. Wait, so you got fine for something else? Yeah, it just seems to keep coming. I don't know why.

Well, what the hell else happened? happened, Carl? Well, have you ever heard of Sunblock, bro? Yeah, everyone knows what Sunblock is. And have you ever heard of cock-blocking, bro? Cock-blocking. You know, when you're at a bar or someplace, and, you know, you're hitting on a fine little tasty, and then someone comes up and interferes with it, and it's like cock-blocking.

Okay. All right, so what the Flaves did is I took Sunblock and a Cockblock, and I mixed them together down on the beach. What the hell are you talking about? I offered a service called Sun Cockblock, right? Sun Cockblock! Yeah, right, you know, some people, you know, they get down to the beach, they didn't bring an umbrella for whatever reason, the sun shining in their face, and you know, they've got their sunglasses, but they just don't want the sun in their face, right, Brosh?

Okay, so what do you offer them Sunblock for their face? Uh, no, Brose, I offer them Sunblock for their face. Uh, no, brous, I offer them Suncox. What the hell is Sun Cockblock? What the hell is Sun Cockblock? Well, as you know, or you may not know, bro, I don't know if you've talked to any of my Beach Tasties. They've probably told you, but the Flaves is endowed.

You know, the Flaves has a larger-than-average surfboard and extra-large beach balls, if you know what I mean, bro. Chefy Oce-O-O-C-O-C-E. Oh-C-O-C-E. Carl, do we have to talk about your private parts? Hey, you asked me. asked me, you found me, bro, so I'm just telling you, so I got fine for offering my sun cock-block services, right?

Sun cock-block services. Right, like if there's someone who, you know, doesn't want the sun on their face for $50 every half hour, the flames will pull down his surf shorts and stand right in front of the sun so that my package, my surfboard and my beach balls are hanging down just off your face so it blocks the sun. I call it sun cockblog, bro. What the hell? You're dangling your your, your penis and your testicles in front of beach goers' faces. Right. To block the sun on their face. Right, and people love it, right? And it's only 50 bucks an hour. Wait, I thought you said 50 bucks half hour. Well, it's 50 bucks for each ball, right? Okay, so people are

paying for this service? Well, mostly the tasties, and I have to say, to be honest, mostly the cougars, you know. The cougars really love the Flaves, fresh surfboard and beach balls, right? So your sun cock blocking for $50 a half hour, and you're dangling your beef right in front of their faces. And it totally blocks out the sun. Now, it does leave a bit of a weird shadow on their face, like a strange tan line, right? A tan line?

Now, most of them don't realize it, but by the time they finish tanning, the bottom of their chin under their lips, it looks like the outline of a ball bag, bro. Oh, my God. Now, I don't tell them that part, but when they get home, it looks like, you know, basically, they're like a brown ball bag, bro. Good Christ. So anyways, you know, the beach ranger and the authorities came along, and they're like, clean it up, no nudity on the beach, and I said, I'm sun clock blocking, bro. I'm providing a service, right? Carl, that's not a service. That's obscene.

Holy God. Well, just because you might have a small surfboard and little tiny beach balls, bro. Doesn't mean the Flaves isn't going to make a little extra incommonio off this Jing Jong Joanieo, you know what I mean? Good Lord, Carl. I think we might have to end this call here.

Well, I could tell you about the wakeboard service I provide. What the hell is the wakeboard service? You've heard of wakeboards, right? Okay. And you've heard when people have wakes at their funerals, right? Yeah, wakes at their funerals. So what we do, we have a wakeboard funeral service, right? I put the stiffies on the wakeboard, float them out in the water.

The sharks enjoy a tasty snack, and we get rid of a dead body. It's only $700 a body. Carl, we've got to go. This is a bit, you know, I think we're out of time. All right, Broush. Well, I've got to get back to the beach. You know, the Rangers are on their brakes. I'm going to try and sneak in some sun cock blocking services

and get the old fing-fang, jingle bang, tuna swang right out in the sun and let it dangle in the breeze like meat-covered wind chimes, brosch. All right, thank you, Carl. We love you. Thank you. The Flaves loves the whiz. We'll see you at the beach, brosh. Oh, my God.

That guy, the stuff he comes up with at the beach. Sun Cockblock Holy Baby Turtles Wakeboards Yay aye aye This is Eddie He wants to party But they just hang up

Hello Hey how's it going man Really good, who is this? Awesome it's Eddie I was calling to see if you want to do a barbecue today? Oh, yeah, that sounds good. I don't know what time, Mom.

I'm going to be set up over here, you know, but it sounds really good. Awesome. I can put together some ribs and, you know, we could slap down some chicken breasts and whatnot, or... Yeah, yeah. That sounds good.

You know, maybe I'll have the girls run over some beer, too. Yeah, I could slap some Heinrich. down or I could bring a 12 of hindis if you want. We could slap them down. Yeah, yeah. No, don't worry about it. The girls always bring a keg. They always have a bunch of guys with them anyways.

Okay, awesome. How about some corn on the cobs or something? Yeah, corn on the cob. It's always good. I really love corn with rips. Awesome. I like mashed potatoes, too, for some reason. But we can just throw those in real quick, you know.

and just run some up really good. Those instant mashed potatoes, those Idaho ones. Yeah, okay. And you like terriaki shrimps, or I could slap some of those down? Oh, I got some great goose and some, what is it called? Yeah, terriaki shrimp is really good, but, you know, we don't want to overload it with the ribs, you know. And I've got some great goose with some Sierra Mist. Boy, that really goes down smooth.

Okay, awesome. and maybe we could power slop a gray goose glaze on the ribs or I got baby backs. Boy, that would be terrific. Let's do that. Okay, what time you down for the cube? You can get this thing all rounded up until about 5.30, 6 o'clock. Okay, perfect. I guess I'll...

It was really nice talking to you first thing this morning. I've got to get this thing going, so I'll see you later on around 6.30. Okay, perfect. I'll look forward to it. All right. Wonderful. Okay, thanks, man. That was Eddie. He wants to party. But they just hang up. Oh, my goodness. It sounded like Eddie was maybe starting to laugh at the end there, and he couldn't continue talking.

I think I detected Eddie maybe cracking up, and he couldn't. continue the phone call without busting into a giggle fit. So it sounds like, I mean, this is maybe a first where Eddie actually hooked up a barbecue. Now, the only thing that kind of went off the rails a little and I feel bad about is that he didn't get the address. Eddie always forgets to get the ad. There was one other time when it looked like he was going to get a barbecue going,

and he forgot to get the address. So I don't know if he's going to have to keep looking throughout the rest of the summer, but let's just chalk that one up as real close. He was right there at the edge. Man. Oh, dear Eddie. Dear, dear Eddie.

Hello? Hello? Hey, Harland. At 51 minutes and 13 seconds in your podcast, is you make reference to the Tonight Show with Jimmy Kimmel. You just said the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and then you changed it to Jimmy Kimmel's hosting the Tonight Show. Not to jinx you, but I just want to make sure you don't say that on TV or anything.

Anyway, have good one. Hello? Hello? Hi, Harlan. This is Jimmy Fallon. Hey, hey, man. I heard on your last show that you mentioned you were going to be on my show in July. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to that, man.

But I have to say, when you mentioned that you said you were going to be on the tonight show with Jimmy Kimmel. And, Harlan, I just wanted to make sure you knew it was my show. It kind of hurts my feelings that you got me mixed up. But anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing you, Harlan, and being on my show. And you can rest assured that when you're on my show, I'll be on the edge of my seat, and I'll be really into everything you're saying. Like it'll be so fresh, like, it's the first time I've heard anything you're saying. I'll be so into you.

Like I am with all my guests. I mean, I'm always just so into what they're saying, and my eyes are wide open, and I'm just so present. And, yeah, I'm just looking so forward to it, Arlen, because I like everybody and, you know, yeah, looking forward to it, buddy. But it's not Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Fallon. I'm Jimmy Fallon, Harlan.

All right, see you there, buddy. All right, bye. Okay, yep, you're right, you guys nailed me. I always crack up. on the stuff you guys pick up on. But every now and then, you know, I'm wailing away on my podcast here and I'll get the odd word wrong or the odd reference wrong. And, you know, I always have you guys to count on when it happens.

And you're right, I did say Jimmy Kimmel instead of Jimmy Fallon. So just to be clear, I will be on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, F-A-L-O-N. I think it's double-L. Maybe it's one out. See, now I'm afraid to say, forget I even spelled it. Jimmy Fallon, the Tonight Show, July 24th, okay? And I might even have a little special announcement to make on the show. I'm planning on maybe making a little special announcement. So we'll see. I'll keep you posted. But it's brewing in my head that I might have. have a special announcement that I'm going to crack out on the Tonight Show on July 24th. So I'm looking forward to that.

It's always exciting going to the Tonight Show. Maybe I'll record some audio in the background and play it for you guys so you can get more of, I think I did it last time, kind of gave you a sense of what it's like to be there. I'll try and like change it up this time and find some other aspects. specs of uh of the of the of the tonight show experience and uh and play that for you okay so yeah july 24th the tonight show with jimmy kiff allen thanks for the thanks for uh thanks for uh keeping me on track their pavement pounders and uh let's do one more call before we end the show hello hi there mr highway

This is Casey in Wisconsin. Just calling you from the land of cheese. See, how you're doing? Just checking out on you. Just wondering, let me ask you, when you're feeling blue, when you're feeling down, like the world is just crushing you, just weighing you down.

What do you do to get yourself back up again, to put yourself in a good mood, man? Telling you, it's really being a tough one for me lately. Uh, just not great. But, um, love everything you do. Fudgy Wudgy was awesome. And I hope you have a good rest of your pleasant afternoon. Chicken chow main, baby.

Oh, Casey, Casey, Casey from Wisconsin. I, I hear it in your voice. Something's a myth. Something's, uh, not going well. Something's not clicking. I, I detect it. You put it out there. and uh these kind of calls pain me because it's like a i can hear you know when people call me with

with with messages like that it's it's it's like they're they're they're kind of exhausted they're like man things are going so crappy and what do i do and how does life get like this and why do things get me down and why do we get depressed and and it's hard buddy it's hard and i can feel it in your voice that you're you're going through a tough time as you said and you know it's it's it's it's always in the moment that you're in the tough times that they're the hardest because sometimes you lose hope sometimes you maybe lose faith and sometimes you don't recognize a way out or you just think things are going to get worse before they're going to get better and you know you you turn things like movies and comedy and some people turn to alcohol or getting high or you know

you look for ways to get out and and sometimes it's just none of those things it's just time and sometimes time can be slow and painful and and it drones on and you're you know you're you're feeling worse before you're feeling better and it's tough but you know you always have to remember that that most things that are bad or make you feel bad or bringing you down eventually go by so i hear you're in a mood i hear you're in a state and so i'm going to ask you Casey. Do you remember the last time you felt like this? Do you remember the time you felt like this two years ago? Do you remember the time you felt like this three years ago, four years ago?

Can you pinpoint those moments? Maybe. But I'm guessing, for the most part, probably not. And so maybe that's something to hold on to. I always find that, you know, If you're feeling bad, think about the last time you felt bad and see if you even remember it. I always say to people when they're feeling bad, I go, what was your lowest point last year? What was the thing that made you feel the worse last year where you thought everything was insurmountable,

that you weren't going to get out of your hole, out of your depression, out of your conflict, whatever it was it was making you feel bad? And a lot of people go, you know, I can't really remember. And if they do remember, they have to think about it really long and hard. It's like, oh, yeah, I had this thing at work or my girlfriend or, you know, I was, I needed money. And a lot of people just simply don't remember. And so just remember this, Casey, that sometimes when we're in the moment, we're in the moment of despair or feeling down or feeling down or feeling.

blue um that's when it's it's the worst and you can't see the way out or you feel like it's never going to get better but as i said earlier time time time and and as time goes by it passes and and suddenly you're back into some good times and things are better and you're moving forward and things have shifted and your circumstances have become better and happier and you know you leave you leave whatever's getting you down behind and part of part of getting through this is just you know looking in the mirror and realizing that this this is life you know it isn't hollywood a hollywood movie where you know, you go through life and you go,

you get to a point where you're feeling really good and things are great and everything's going your way. And then you go, I arrived. I'm here. Oh my God. I'm at the place where things were supposed to be. I've landed at the spot of happiness where I got some money in my pocket and I got the girlfriend I want and I'm living in the house I like. But remember all that stuff,

Stuff is transient, man. It's like it sits there for a while and you're living in it and then something happens. It's like that little game you play where you stack the wood up and then you slowly pull the logs out and then finally the wood collapses and then you build it up again, right? So there's all kinds of dips and valleys and also the peaks. And that's kind of the rhythm of life. So I always say no matter how far down you go, you're always going to swing back up and be in a better place. And that doesn't mean physical stuff. That could just mean mentally as well. It doesn't have to be about money or your living conditions or your job. It can just be a mental state as well. And, you know, sometimes if I do get hit hard, like I wake up and I'm just in a

funk and you know this sounds like a weird thing to say but sometimes if I feel a funk coming on or I wake up and I'm like oh god you know I'm just like in one of those depressed moods or or I wake up thinking about something bad you know sometimes I do this and it sounds simple but I just imagine there's a light switch in my inside my skull and because we're human beings and we have control over our thoughts, I just go, oh, no, I'm thinking about that bad thing. And then I just, in my head, I go, nope, I'm clicking that switch off. And I just mentally, I go, click.

And, you know, sometimes you can feel yourself. You wake up and you're like, oh, God, I'm going to be depressed, or I'm going to be in a funk. And it's almost like, it's almost like thinking, do I go to McDonald's or Burger King? I'm going to go to Burger King. It's just like, click. Am I going to be depressed today?

Am I going to be down? Am I going to be in a funk? Or am I going to stop it right now before it starts? It's my brain. I'm in control. Click. And you just mentally click the switch off and don't let it happen. It sounds simplistic, but in a way, it works.

It's kind of cool. You just, you just chop it off at the knees. You just go, nope, you're not going to take over my day. I'm not going to think bad. thoughts. I have a choice of whether I want to have a pleasant day or I want to have a funky day and you just flick that switch. And even though it's just a mental switch, sometimes it's a little mind trick that can work. And I'm not saying it's the ultimate solution, but sometimes it's just the force of will, the power of your will, to just go, nope, I'm not waking up on that

bad side of the bad. Click. um so there you go man that you know and you know sometimes talking it's easier said than done but i hope some of those thoughts some of those ideas maybe help you through your bad time and like i said just remember it usually always gets better or things level out or the bad stuff that that's bringing you down, dissipates, and goes away. And if it doesn't, then sometimes you've got to take that as a signal in your life and look in the mirror and go, you know what? Why am I unhappy?

What's making me unhappy? Maybe it's time to make some drastic changes. Maybe I need to pick up and move. Maybe I need to quit my job and pursue something that will bring me more happiness. Maybe I've got a bad relationship. and it's not serving me well. And so sometimes like any problem solving, you have to source out the root of the problem and tackle it.

And tackle it aggressively in order to move it on out of your life. And sometimes that can cause the funk just confronting the problem. But I think you'll find a lot of times once you confront your problems and face them and fight with them and beat them, you feel better when you get on the other side. But if something in your environment is toxic and it's not working and it's challenging and maybe you don't like your boss,

maybe you're not feeling creative at work, maybe your love life is flat, well, then the only one who can change it is you, right? I read in a book once that your life is like a boat going across the ocean, and you're the one standing at the wheel steering the boat and so you can steer it sideways you can steer it backwards you can steer it in circles or you can just point it towards the horizon and sail off into the beautiful sunset you're in control so don't let the things around

you influence you to go off course And sometimes you just need, you need some levity in your life, maybe a little happiness. So I'll end this little segment, the little Harlan advice segment. And I hope some of this helped, my friend, because I could hear it in your voice. You were kind of like reaching out. Somebody talk to me. Somebody, does anyone have the answers? Well, that's the other thing.

Nobody has the answers. Okay? Everybody just has ideas and advice. The answers actually lie within you. And you have the answers. You just have to be strong and reach in and produce them and stick to them and sail your ship down the right course. No one else can grab that wheel.

It's your boat. So I'll end with this. Maybe this will put a little smile on your face because humor always helps, right? You know, when you have a headache and you take an aspirin and the headache like goes away for a while? So sometimes when you're feeling down, you're feeling blue, sometimes something that makes you laugh. I think it alters the chemicals in your body and it helps you kind of, you know, feel better. So if my podcast hasn't made you laugh, I mean, come on, Carl Flavors, the turtle, the baby turtle. the suncock? If that hadn't made you laugh, here's a little joke. You can share it with your friends. Someone told it to me and I always thought it was cute, but hopefully it puts a smile on your face and starts you down the road to recovery. Okay? This is for you. A bear walks into a bar. He slaps down a $20 bill on the bar and he says,

bartender give me a vodka and coke and the bartender says hey what's with the big paws get it because he's a bear and he's got big paws and he he he didn't say vodka and coke quickly there was a big pause you know what now i'm depressed because i'm explaining the joke oh god Oh, God, I'm so down. I'm so depressed. Oh, my God. No, that's a fun joke. So, buddy, smile.

Things will always get better. Don't let the world drag you down, man. We're all dragon slayers, right? This world we live in, there's so many elements that could and will try to beat you down. And you have to kind of be that knight with the shield and the sword, and you have to push back. And you also have to remember there's a moment. million things in life that want to lift us up and fill us with joy and light and happiness and so gravitate towards those things fight back the negative things and open your mind and heart

and arms and soul to the good things and the pleasant things and let it in man and that's it man we're going to end right there hope you're feeling better thanks for calling and uh we're We're all rooting for you, pal. And, you know, maybe, like I said, you'll find some laughs when I do the Tonight Show. Look at that. Turning this segment into a little plug for myself. But, you know, the whole reason I do this podcast is to hopefully bring light and merriment to people. You know, that really is the main reason I do this, gang, is for people like this gentleman who,

Hopefully they're driving or walking, and it's like, oh, there's a little bit of laughter in my day. There's a little bit of funny. There's a little bit of levity, you know, to fill my day for a 45 minutes or an hour a week where maybe during the week you didn't find room or didn't find a moment to have some humor. So hopefully this helps all you all. And the reason I want to plug the tonight shows Because I'm going to go on there and try and be funny You know, doing these talk shows is not easy

There's a lot of pressure to be the funny guy So I'm going to be on the tonight show The 24th of July with Jimmy Fallon And I did it about a year and a half ago with Jimmy And I did stand up I think this time I'm just going to be sitting down And talking to Jimmy And like I said, I might have a special secret announcement

that I make to Jimmy and to you folks. So you better tune in. Also, what else? This weekend I'll be in Cleveland. If you're in Cleveland, Ohio, I'm going to be on stage for an hour bringing the funny. My live stand-up show at Hilarities Comedy Club in Cleveland, Ohio. That's July 12th, 13th, and 14th.

And then, guess what, the next weekend, yours truly, It's going to be in New Mexico, just outside of Albuquerque at the Santa Ana Star Casino. I've never been there before, but it's supposed to be great. The Santa Ana Star Casino, New Mexico. So that'll be just two nights, July 20 and 21st. It's going to be a great time. And then the next week, the 24th, the Tonight Show, baby. So let's keep the laughs rolling, shall we?

Also, check out Harlan Williams.com. We have a great store, a merch store at Harlan Williams.com. Our caller mentioned Fudgy Wudgee Fudge Face, which is my homemade movie that I made. You can order that DVD online. Also, T-shirts and funny T-shirts and books and artwork and all kinds of things. little stuff man um what else what else i think that's it make sure you get our free app on your cell phone so you can listen to the merriment wherever you go just type in the harland highway podcast on your cell phone and you'll get the free app you get the latest the 50 latest episodes

for free and then if you want to hear the whole collection of the harland highway starting at episode one, and we're coming up on $1,000, $20 a year, get you the whole collection, plus little bonus segments that I drop in from time to time when I have the time, special stuff just for premium members. So that's $20 of you. You can get that if you go to the website, Harlan Williams.com, click on podcast and follow the directions. I think you're going to also do it if you get the the free app as well check it out and then if you want to oh my god i got i got a scratch your throat if you want to write to me you can write to me at harland williams dot com we have a contact link i do read all the emails and then if you want to phone me

and leave me a message as this gentleman did from wisconsin the land of cheese 323 739 43330 323739 43330 That number is on the website Harlow Williams.com as well My thanks to Carl Flavors For giving us an update from the beach I do feel a little queasy

But you know nonetheless It's fun to hear from someone That doesn't ever seem to have a problem in the world That guy just seems to Life's just one big beach party. Maybe that's the answer. Go to the beach. Do what Carl Flavors. Just spend a day or two at the beach kicking back, having a beer, having a pinocalotta, chatting up some bikini babes, kicking your flip-flops off, rolling around in the surf. Maybe that's, maybe that's the answer. Follow Carl

Flavors example. Talk about steering a boat right into the boat house. this guy but that's it for today thank you for all your calls thank you for listening tell your friends to get on the harland highway and we're going to leave it right there everybody and until next time chicken chalmayne baby uh delo brocheelhoche oslie o's o's o'sly o'sly o'sly o's Thank you.