The Harland Highway - 952 - MOVIE STAR Christopher Walken calls the show. Song from a Pavement Pounder. Crazy animal news story.

Episode Date: July 23, 2018

MOVIE STAR Christopher Walken calls the show. Song from a Pavement Pounder. Crazy animal news story. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, my goodness, glorious gravies and biscuits. What a show we have today. This is the Harland Highway podcast. I'm Harland Williams, your host, and I want to welcome you to the show. We're going to be doing all kinds of stuff today. Big celebrity on the show at the... You got to hang into the end of the show. Christopher Walken.

The famous actor legend, Christopher Walken, calls into the show right at the end. It's going to be great. We also have a pavement ponder who did an original song, and I promised him I would play his song on the show today and it's pretty wild. It's a pretty cool, weird musical bit so you'll be able to hear that.

Also, I'm going to be talking about a date I went on. I finally joined a dating site. Yeah, you'll never guess which one, and it was an interesting date indeed. Wait to you hear how it all went down. Also, a crazy news story for you today. Somebody, another person was killed by an animal they got too close to nature i don't know what kind of dummy would do that not me

wink wink but someone else has perished they got too close to one of nature's critters and i think you're going to be surprised at uh what it was and how this person died very unusual and also another call from a pavement pounder regarding the funny little bars that mr featherstone says i go to downtown so put your helmet on straighten your teeth this is the harland highway i have an announcement to me you're about to go down the harland highway lock the door i don't want to be a product of my environment i want my environment to be a product of me you're riding down the harland highway So, put off the fuck to get off this phone.

I can get you off. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself. Ha! You're a cantalope. Tideon. Tadon. All right, hold tight on the Holland Highway show. I'm ashamed, big daddy. That's why I'm a drunk when I'm drunk, I can stand myself. Keep leading on that tutor, Charlie, and you're gonna get a show.

Shot in the mouth. Act like a man. What's the matter of you? I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening to Harlan Williams. The rest is bullshit and you know it. Well, yep, I finally did it. Oh, yeah.

Here we go now. Yeah, so we're all looking for someone in life, right? and one of the worst parts of relationships is all the BS. We hate the BS, don't we? The bullshit. And that's usually what leads to fights. That's usually what leads to breakups. That's usually what leads to divorces, the BS.

And I started thinking, well, you know, where can I find me a woman where I don't have to deal with a whole bunch of BS? ass and that's when it hit me. I was watching TV and a commercial came on for a dating site called Farmersonly.com. I'm like, yes, that's it. That's what I need. A country girl, a simple country girl who's not in the city, who's not all wrapped up in the rat race, who runs through the corn and and milks the cows and churns the butter and that's what I need. A BS free, a bullshit free country girl. Right?

So I did it. I went on Farmer's Only.com and I joined and I clicked away and sure enough something matched. And I'm like, finally, I'm going to get me a girl with no BS, a country girl. I gave her my address. She drove in from the country. And I'm thinking, no BS, no more BS. And what does she do? She pulls up in front of my house in a John Deere manure spreader.

I mean, I don't know what shoots more BS than a manure spreader. So I'm like, okay, this isn't getting off to a great start. So I see her get out. You know, it's sunset. The sun's going down. It's an evening thing. And I see her get out, and I'm thinking, okay, she's a little healthier, if you know what I mean. A little, she's a little portly.

But that's the life of the farm girl. You know, they eat well. They get their food right off the farm. It's a healthy fat, right? So I don't want to be judgmental. I'm thinking that's okay if she's a little bigger bone. You know, she's probably been throwing bales of hay and fruit. flipping calves on their back and branding them and all that stuff.

And so I hear her footsteps coming up the driveway to the house, and I'm hearing them clack, and I'm like, ooh, you know, she's wearing heels, right? That's classy. I can hear the heels clacking on the concrete. And she gets to the door, rings the doorbell. First thing I do is look down at her feet to see her heels. She's wearing horseshoes. Yeah, the Farmer's Only.com.

She's wearing horseshoes, and I'm like, okay. And up close, I realized maybe she is a little heavy. I mean, she had a muffin top. Okay, a lot of girls have muffin tops. If you don't know what a muffin top is, it's the little kind of belly roll that hangs over the waistline of the jeans. It's that little extra layer on a man, they call it a spare tire. On a woman, they call it a muffin top.

And so she was a little heavier, and she had a muffin top. but it was on her forehead. And, you know, I, you know, I, okay, a muffin top on her, it's hard to see her eyes. It was hanging over on her brow, but, you know, what are you going to do? So anyway, she says, hey, I'm taking you out for dinner. We're going to a nice place tonight. And I'm like, I can't remember the last time a woman took me out and treated me to a nice restaurant. And I said, great, where are we going?

And she goes, Cracker Barrel. And I'm like, okay, Cracker Barrel it is. So we get to Cracker Barrel. And I don't know if you've ever been to Cracker Barrel, but it's kind of a family restaurant. Most of them are around the Midwest. They serve comfort food. And on the table at a lot of the Cracker Barrel's

to kill time while you're waiting for your food, they have this little wooden triangle. And I think we've all played this before. And it's got a bunch of holes, drilled in it and it's filled with golf teas right and it's called an IQ tester and the thing is you have to jump the golf teas you jump them over each other until you hopefully only have one left on the whole board and if you have one left you're considered a genius if you have two not so much a genius if you have three not so much and down the board the more the more golf teas you have

sticking in the holes the less smart you are because apparently human intelligence is rated by golf teas these days. So she sees this thing sitting on the table and I'm thinking, oh, maybe I'll get to see how smart she is. And instead of jumping the golf tea, she starts picking her teeth with the golf tee. And you know how sometimes people have a gap

in the middle of their teeth and they get a little corn nibbleet or something stuck in there? Well, this one had quite the gap. She had a whole baked potato stuck between her two front teeth. So she's got the golf tea in there, the IQ testing golf tea. So not the smartest bulb on the tree. And, you know, we kind of talked, and she let it be known that she was looking to get a little frisky. And I was like, oh, okay, we've come this far.

And this, believe me, this girl was horny. This was probably one of the horniest girls I've ever gone out with. And when I say horny, she brought four of her go-to. with her there were goat they I got rammed I got rammed in the butt they thought their horns hurt so she was a horny thing so we got home we got up to the bedroom we get the clothes off and first thing I notice in her nudity is she's got a tattoo of the farmer's only girl has a tattoo but she's got a tattoo of a scarecrow standing in the field if you know what I mean. And I'm like, oh my God, scarecrows are scary. You know, they're intended to be

scary. So, of course, I see the scarecrow standing in the field, if you know what I mean. I start screaming. I'm like, and I'm realizing there's not going to be any flocking tonight. There'll be absolutely no flocking with that scarecrow there. Oh my God. So we just decide to call it and you know she's coming from out in the country so she sleeps over and i finally fall asleep and all of a sudden i wake up in the middle of the night to this noise it's like and i'm thinking oh my god it's the swat team there's a swat team over my house no wrong i look over the farmer's only girl's eating a cobb of corn. So now I got nibblets in my hair.

There's melted butter all over the sheets. I shoot out of the sleep like I'm having a golden corral nightmare. And then finally we settle back down and I swear to God at about 5.30 in the morning. I'm hearing like, I shoot up out of bed. this nuts crowing like a rooster. So finally I couldn't take any more of her BS. I put her on her manure spreader and sent her back to the fields. Send her back to Maliki and the children of the corn.

So there you go, man. I don't know. If you can't find a good girl on Farmers Only.com, where do you go? Good night, Nelly Frittato. Oh, I like that little country music kick at the end. Speaking of music, I have a little treat for you here today. You know, I get letters, I get phone calls from all over the place, from pavement pounders, people that listen to the podcast, L. Podcastio.

And I got an email from a listener in Germany, and this guy has the best name I've ever heard. His name is Rettvard von Dornberg. You know, they pronounce W's as V's and V's as W's in Germany. So it's spelled R-E-T-W-A-R-D, Rettward von Dornberg. But with the V sound, it's Rettwald von Dorenberg. And this guy's from Berlin, and he's a musician. And he just kind of wrote me out of the blue on the contact list.

And he said, hey, Harland, I like your show, and I'm a musician. And would you be willing to play my new single on the Harlan Highway? And am I going to say no to a guy with a name like Rathvud de von Dengborg? I mean, that sounds like German royalty or something, man. I can't turn down Rettvard van Varnvarg Or whatever I know I'm not pronouncing it right Vettvard van Vorg

Vorg That's a tongue twister Seashells seashells by the seashore Seashells Vondongborg Vettford von Dornbord van Dornburg Doremburg Rettvard von Doremburg Oh, can't get enough of saying that

It's like candy so uh retvard is from uh berlin and he said will you please play my song and i said well sure do you want me too and he wrote me back he said yeah go ahead and play it so so i'm going to play you his song it's a little alternative it's a little funky it's a little bit long but i'm going to play it through if it's not your style you can zip past it but it's about a five six minute song singing as it is kind of electronic music, and I listen to it all the way through. It's very pleasant. It's very creative. It's very good. It's excellent. But it's not your standard, like, AMFM radio pop tune.

If I could describe it, in my own words, it sounds kind of like somebody through a 1980s video game into a koi pond. It sounds like someone's playing like Space Gallagher, Space Invaders, or Super Mario underwater. It's actually kind of soothing and relaxing and kind of cool and funky, but I'll let you make your own determination on how you like Getvard von Dondard's wonderful music.

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Don't throw your back out. And let me give you the title. This is Rettford von Dorenberg's song, a musical piece called Stay a While. So here it is, stay a while. We're going to do. We're going to be able to be. I'm going to be

I'm going to be. You know, I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to Destroy. Destroyed D. D.

D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D.

Destroy him! Destroy him! Destroy him! We're going to be able to be. We're going to be able to be. Stay Destroying you're Destroyed

Airbus Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! We're going to be. No, the ...you know, ...andah,

... ... ... ... ... ... ... We're going to be able to be.

I'm going to be I'm going to be. You know, I'm trying to We're going to be. I'm going to do. There are Stay well.

Stay well. Stay well. Stay well. We're going to be able to be. Destroy. I'm going to be able to be. Destroyed! ...toe

...toe... ...destroi... ...destroying... Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! We're going to be able to be. We're going to be able to be. You know, I'm going to be able to You know,

I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to The I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I don't know.

We're going to be able to be. We're going to be able to be. B. B. B. B. Bhop. Bhop.

Bhop. Wow! Sam! Wow! Wow! Wow. Well, stay a while, yes. Love it. There it is. Rettvard von Dorenberg. And if you want to see more about Rett Ward and his work and listen to some of his other songs and read about this song, I think the song's really, I think he made part of the song with pocket calculators or something.

There's a whole story behind the song and you can visit a site on the internet and read about it and hear more of his music and find out about Retvard. And let me give you an email address here. It's H-T-T-P-S, you know, the whole hash-backslash thing. But the site is the Caravell. dot net slash saw the caraville c a r a v e l the caravel dot net backslash saw s a w weird website but i went to it

and sure it up you can read all about uh our friend retvard von duremberg and his his interesting and uh very creative music styling so thank you Retvard for submitting. It was an honor and a pleasure to play your music, and I hope our listening audience enjoyed it as well. I'm definitely heading over to, like, the mall to hit, like, a video game, like, gallery or something. I need to, like, I need to play Super Mario or Frogger or something, man.

So there you go. Thank you again. And don't forget, if you ever want to write to me, you can write to me at Harlemwilms.com, or you can leave me a voicemail at 323-739-4-3-3-0. But enough of the crazy music. Let's move on to a crazy news story. Roger, if you would, please, sir. The Harland Highway. Crazy news story.

That's weird. Wow. That's strange stuff. All right, here we go. A lot of weird stuff going on in the world. And we like to find it here at the Harlan Highway and tell you all about it. Here's the headline. You ready?

You ready? You ready? Award winning filmmaker dies after giraffe headbutts him. What the? You don't hear that sentence every day. Holy God. You get head butted by a giraffe. That's a whole lot of momentum.

I mean, that's a giant head swinging from about 18 feet in the air straight down. That's like a wrecking ball on the end of a chain coming at you, man. Here's the story. An award-winning South African filmmaker died after he was head-butted by a giraffe. Well, if he's an award-winning filmmaker, he might have been smarter and stayed the hell away from a draft. Carlos Carvajalo 47 was at the Glen Africa County Lodge in South Africa

shooting a series about a British family in a game lodge when he attempted to get a close-up shot of Gerald the giraffe. You know, whenever you start giving these animals cute names, isn't that when they turn around and eat you? It's like, hey, man, I'm a wild animal, I'm a giraffe. I'm a lion, I'm a hippo, my name's not Larry, my name's not Carol, my name's not Schwinnika, all right, I'm a lion. Don't like make me one of you. So while this filmmaker was trying to get his shot, Gerald headbutted the filmmaker and sent him 16 feet in the air.

Whoa! Cavalero suffered massive head injuries as a result. He was airlifted to the hospital where he died. Yeah, man, you don't get, you don't get whacked in the head by a giraffe and just freaking stand up and brush your khakis off. I mean, that is very sad. Here's a quote from someone that was on the scene. It was with very sad heart that we announced the passing

of Carlos Carvajala, one of our favorite DOPs. Carlos was filming a feature in Africa and had a fatal run-in with the giraffe. He succumbed to his injuries last nights. Our thoughts and condolences go out to Carlos' family and friends during this very sad time. He'll be sorely missed. Now, I'm not going to make fun of the guy for dying. We don't want to do that. But, you know, when you're kind of an edgy cameraman,

when you're out on the plains of Africa and you're surrounded by man-eating lions, man-eating leopards, man-eating hyenas, poisonous snakes that can kill you with a bite, poisonous spiders and lizards, baboons with fangs the length of your leg, hippopotamuses that kill people every year, apparently the hippos kill more people. people in Africa than any other animal. Giant 19-foot crocodiles. I mean, cheetahs and rhinoceroses and wildebeest and Cape Buffalo and all these horrible animals that can do you in.

And by the way, if you did get axed by one of these critters, it's kind of a macho way to go. Most of us are going to die in the hospital and be like, yeah, I had a heart attack, you had a stroke, he fell down some stairs. But you're pretty cool if you go, yeah, he got mauled by a lion. He died punching a 19-foot crocodile in the face. He put up a valiant fight against that pack of wild dogs and hyenas, but they slowly won the day and ripped him apart limb by limb. But what a warrior!

But I don't know, man. You say, how did he die? Oh, a giraffe headbutted him. You know, the gentle, elegant, galloping giraffe, you know, the sweet little harmless thing that eats the leaves from the tops of trees and licks his face and sticks his head in your car window and eat your ice cream with his big long giraffe tongue? I mean, I don't know, man.

That's kind of like, uh, you know, that's like if you're on a race track and you're going round and round in these supercharged Formula One cars and somehow a smart car got on the track and rear-ended you and made you flip and you die. That's kind of what that's like. So, you know, it's sad that the guy's dead, but did it have to be a giraffe?

It could have been something that kind of made him a legend? You know, you don't want to, you know, his gravestone could have had a picture of him, you know, bear knuckling it with a lion. The lion's up on his back two legs, and this guy is up on his two legs, and he's holding the lion's paws,

and they're both bearing their teeth. I mean, you don't want to put a giraffe on your gravestone. Yikes. So, you know, I guess RIP to this guy, and, you know, always remember, regardless of how docile and how gentle an animal may seem, you got to remember, something that stands 19 feet tall and has little, you see those little drumsticks on the top of their heads, I don't know what those things are. They're little like nubs or whatever, but, man, you got to remember, those animals are all muscle. That neck, that neck is just one big giant erection. That's a huge muscle. I mean, that's like a nine-foot neck.

And then you put that big bulbous head on the top of that neck, that skinny neck of that big fat head with the two nubs on it. and that thing comes swinging down. Boom. That draft was probably in his head. He's like, you know what? I've been eating all day. You know, I've been chewing leaves and stuff. I think I'm up for a little game of croquet.

Yeah, I'll use my head as the mallet. And oh, there's a guy with a camera. Let me, he's short. Let me swing down and knock him 20 feet through the air. There you go. So be careful if you're out in draft country this summer. Don't take your eyes off the giant 25-foot thing standing behind you. Ouch.

What's up, Doc? I'll tell you what's up. Just a random, random thing that I don't know why it makes me so happy. I don't get it. I don't know what the joy is that comes from this. But I think a couple of years ago, I did a bit on my podcast where I mentioned to you folks that I saw a pink dump truck. Okay, we all know what dump trucks are, the big giant trucks with the big bins on the back, and they hauled dirt around, and they're just giant like tanks rolling through the streets, right? And I was out somewhere and I got so tickled pink because I saw a pink dump truck.

It just, you know, that kind of heavy-duty machinery, that kind of industrial vehicle with a pink paint job, it just something cracked me up about it, and it just made me happy. And then today, when I was driving home from a meeting, I'm not kidding, up the road comes a gold dump truck. I mean, it wasn't just like pieces of it were gold, like the hood was gold and the, you know, the back door was gold. like the hood, the cab, the hubcaps, the dumpy thing, the back gate. Like, everything that could be painted on the outside of the blackness of the wheels was gold. And I don't know why. It just cracked me the hell up.

It made me happy to see a gold dump truck. Somehow these colors don't go hand in hand with a dump truck. And so it looked like a giant. bar of gold. It was huge. It was clunky. And what really makes me happy, I think, is that whoever's driving the dump truck must have a certain level of awareness or pride in their vehicle or love for their vehicle or something. I mean, let's face it, if you're a dump truck, dump truck driver, that's kind of your office, right? That's your home away from home. And, you know, most dump trucks or just, you know, whatever.

They're painted at the showroom floor or at the assembly line, and off they go. But you've got to figure it's a pretty special dump truck driver who takes the time to give his truck, his big, fat dump truck, a paint job. And so when this big gold behemoth drove past me, I just lit up, man. I was like, you go, gold.

boy you go dump driver so there you go that's just a little a little random uh off the side note um dealio and i thought it was great and i can't wait until i see my next single colored rolling dump truck yeah hello hey harland it's Derek Ferguson from southern california Yeah, just listen to the Harlan Highway And I just want to say thanks for the show And I know you live in Hollywood

I was, I don't know if you are busy Or if you ever want company or anything But I was thinking with You know, if you want to hang out Maybe we can meet up and Go to one of your funny little bars downtown Maybe like the sourdough handshake Or something like that

I don't know, just an idea It's all good. If you're busy, I get it. But I just thought if you're going to go out to one of your funny little bars downtown, we could hang out, you know, night out, Friday, Saturday night or something like that. Anyway, thanks for the show, man. Chicken Chalman. Oh, Derek.

Listen, man, this is difficult because my boss, Mr. Featherstone, perpetrates this idea, this concept that on the weekends, like I, have nothing better to do. I go downtown and, quote, unquote, go to those funny little bars. Now, you can take those funny little bars as any way you want, but I have a feeling he's suggesting that maybe they're gay bars. And the reason I say that is, you know, some of the names of them are questionable. And he seems to imply that maybe they're gay bars and that I'm gay and I'm not. but he seems to have it in his head that maybe that's my weekend activity.

I don't go to the sourdough handshake. I don't go to Tommy's got a hot dog. I don't go to Jack's Glory Hall Fun House. I don't go to the olive oil horseshoe. I don't go. All these, the rusty sideburn and the Larry's olive garden i don't even know what they are the names my boss has come up with i don't come i don't go to those bars so thank you for your concern thank you for reaching out um i'm not that lonely

that i need someone to take me to a bar on the weekend and certainly not one of mr featherstone's choices because i don't think that would appeal to me in any way But I do appreciate that you're looking out for me, friend, and that you want to take me out, but it just ain't going to happen. Maybe right in and see if Mr. Featherstone wants to join you. I don't know. He seems to know all these bars better than anybody. And speaking of Mr. Featherstone, this is the part of the show where I have to execute his orders. He pays the bills.

He runs this podcast network. And he instructed me last show that I have to have a big celebrity on my podcast, call in to help bring the ratings up. So we called around desperately because I don't think big celebrities are lining up to be on the Harland Highway. And we were able to get someone and they're on the line. They're on hold right now. and somehow through a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of Rogers, we were able to get movie legend Christopher Walken on the line. And so unbelievably, I can't believe we got him, but we got him.

And so we've got him on hold and we're going to put him through and we're just going to talk to him about, you know, general things. you know, and just have his presence on our podcast, and hopefully that satisfies Mr. Featherstone's hunger and directive to have a famous giant celebrity on the show. So let's put him through, Roger, let's put through Christopher Walken. Mr. Walken, are you there, sir? Hello.

Hello, Christopher? Holland. Hello, this Christopher Walken. How are you? Uh, well, we're doing great, sir. I got to say, uh, right out of the gate, I'm a little starstruck. I'm a little nervous talking to you. I, I, I, I've never really talked to someone of your caliber on our show before. Well, just take a deep breath. Relax. It's going to be okay. Yeah, yes, sir. I, I'm going to try and just contain myself here. I don't want to be a fan boy, even though I am a fan boy. Uh, but we, You want to welcome you to the show, and thank you for being on the Harland Highway. I'm on a highway?

Yes, sir, the Harland Highway. What exactly is that? It's a podcast, sir. A podcast? Excellent. It makes me want to roast a marshmallow over a fire. Yes, sir. Well, can we ask, sir, what you're currently working on?

Have you got any film projects on the go? Well, Holland, I'm shooting a movie in Beirut at the moment. It's a real epic, epic movie. Great. What is it, sir? What is the name of the movie? I can't tell you the name of the movie, Holland. But what I can tell you is the name of the movie. Oh, yeah, that's what I asked you, sir.

The name of the movie is... I can't tell you the name of the movie, but I can't tell you the name of the movie. Sir, I'm a little confused. What is the name of the movie? That's the name of the movie. What is the name of the movie? I can't tell you the name of the movie.

That, I can't tell you the name of the movie, is the name of the movie. Exactly. Exactly, Holland. Okay, um, and what, what is the movie about? Is it a, is it a spy thriller? Is it a... It's about a baby elephant. A baby elephant that goes to New York City, Holland. who's shopping and finds a human baby and they become friends and they open a pool hall and they make money hustling pool

a baby elephant and a human baby go to New York exactly and they open a pool hall that's right and they start hustling hustling pool players to make money? Exactly all it. It's almost as if you've seen the movie

and we haven't even shot it yet. Okay, and what else happens? Well, and a time-traveling cyborg comes back from the future. And he tries to kill the elephant baby and the human baby tries to save it. It's called a Terminator. A Terminator?

Yes. The robot from the future, Holland. A Terminator is a, yes, we know it's a robot from the future, from the movie The Terminator. Well, that's not what it's called. It's called. I can't tell you the name of this movie, but I like what you say, Terminator's a catchy name. Sir. Okay, okay, is there anyone else in the movie that we should know about? Absolutely, Holland.

Crictors. It's got all kinds of actors. Actors, okay. Any names? Of course. There's a guy named Larry. A guy named Bill. What are the actors is actually an actress?

And the name is Nancy. Nancy, Larry, and Bill. Yes. It's almost like, you've seen the movie already, Holland. I haven't seen the movie, and I'm starting to wonder if this is even a real movie. Where are you shooting this movie? Planet Earth? Pardon me?

Planet Earth, Holland. It's not a space picture. It's not a space picture. You're shooting it on Planet Earth. You asked me where we were shooting the movie, and I said, Planet Earth. I assumed you were shooting it on Planet Earth, Christopher. I just mean, is there a city or a country you're shooting it in? I can't tell you that.

I'd have to turn you into a pineapple if I did. You'd have to turn me into a pineapple. That's correct. With whipped cream and a cherry on top. Okay. Well, any other news you want us to know about, anything else you want to talk about? Holland. Yes

This morning Okay This morning, yes I clipped My toenails You clipped your toenails this morning That's what she said That's what she

Is that supposed to be the joke That's what she said Exactly I don't think it worked Okay, anything else we need to know, Christopher, before we're running out of time here. What is time, Holland? What is time? Time is an invisible force shield that swirls around an evacuous void.

We're full of bacteria's and earwax and babies' feet covered with blueberry juice, Well, listen, I think we actually are at a time now that I'm looking here, Christopher, and we want to wish you luck on your new movie. What's it called? I can't tell you the name of the movie. That's the name of the movie. I can't tell you. Okay, well, it's been amazing having a top-level celebrity on our show.

I think it's really what we need to get more listeners. and... Are you telling me, Holland, that you're using me to get more listeners? Well, I'm not, but my boss is. Well, the two of you can go jump on a fat toboggan and slide down the side of my left ass chick. What the hell was that? You two can go get on a fat toboggan

and go slide down the line. left, whatever he said. I don't, I don't think I understood that whole freaking conversation. I'm just mixed up. I feel like I stepped into a blender. I feel like I dropped into a Vettergaard burble-bloken song, like the one we heard earlier. I'm sorry, I forgot your, I can't pronounce your name. Vettergaard, Vettenberg, Rosenvagen, or whatever. If you could translate one of your songs to a human being, maybe that's it. And that's a compliment, because Christopher Walken is unique and eccentric and yowch.

I really, my brain's a bit discombobulated now, gang. I don't think I can continue. I think we're going to end the show right here because I'm a little frazzled. Yeesh. All right, well, let's do some announcements and get the hell out of here. Tomorrow night, I'm going to be in a place where Christopher Walken has been. The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. In fact, one of the most famous Tonight Show's Saturday Night Live sketch is ever done

was The I Need More Cowbell sketch, which starred Christopher Walken, and Jimmy Fallon was in that sketch. So there's a little bit of serendipity, if that's the right word. I think it is. Shut up, Christopher. So I will be sitting in... This is kind of weird, isn't it? I will be sitting in a chair tomorrow night

that Christopher Walken has sat in. I mean, that's a little weird. How many of you have sat in a chair that Christopher Walken sat in? I don't know. I'm about to. Very strange. But anyways, thank you for calling in Christopher.

I hope my boss doesn't give me any more hassle and show up unexpectedly in my studio and start accusing me of hanging out in funny little bars, et cetera, et cetera. Good Lord. So catch me on the Tonight Show tomorrow night with Jimmy Fallon and then I think they said it might re-air on Friday night. I'm not 100% sure, but check it out.

And then I'm going to give you a little heads up. if you're up in Canada, in Calgary, Alberta. This is a ways off, but I thought I'd kind of plant the seed. Yours truly is coming to Calgary, Alberta in September. September 13, 14, and 15. I'm going to be co-headlining with my buddy, Tom Green, from Tom Green fame. Tom's one of my best buddies,

and we're doing a dual show together up at, The Blackfoot Inn in Calgary at the Comedy Club there, and you can check it out on my website, baby. Harlemwilliams.com. You can buy your tickets in advance. You can get all the details. It's three nights only, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Harlem Williams and Tom Green

jamming out the comedy laughs together. So it's going to be a good one, man. Check it out. What else can I tell y'all about? out. Let's see. Don't forget while you're on Harlan Williams.com to check out my other stand-up comedy shows around the country for this year.

They are posted under the comedy link. You can write me at Harlanwilms.com. There's a contact link. You can call me and leave a voicemail. 323-739-4-3-3-0. Invite me out to your funny little bars if you want. The way this caller did, I won't go, but never hurts to ask.

If you don't remember the number, it is on the website, harlandw Williams.com, 323739-4330. Don't forget to get our free app. Just go into your app store on your phone, type in the Harland Highway. Boom, you got it. No charge. And if you're an addict,

if you need every episode of the Harland Highway we've ever, ever made, you can become a premium member for $20 and listen to all of them. If you get the app for free, you get the 50 latest, which is a lot, by the way. But if you're Jonzen and you need every one of them, and we're almost at $1,000, $20 a year gets you that and little bonus things that I try to put up from time to time when I have the time. I'm a busy guy, man. So there you go. Thank you for being here, everybody. Please tell your friends to get on the Harland Highway and enjoy the madness.

Where else are you going to hear Christopher walking? Hello, and I appreciate y'all being here. Have fun. Hope your summer's going great. And until next time, and join me on the Tonight Show tomorrow night, Tuesday, the 24th of July. And until next time, chicken, chowmaine, baby? I clipped my toeness. Thank you.