The Harland Highway - 953 - CAMPFIRE TIMMY sings songs. Harland on Tonight Show and NEW comedy special. CRAZY NEWS STORY!

Episode Date: August 1, 2018

CAMPFIRE TIMMY drops into the studio to sing campfire songs. Harland on Tonight Show and NEW comedy special announcement. CRAZY NEWS STORY! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I know, I know. The podcast is a day late. It's 24 hours late. I apologize, everybody. I'm sorry. I'll explain later in the podcast. What happened? Oh, it's so annoying. I know you're annoyed when I'm late, and I'm just as annoyed. So I'll talk about what happened just a little bit into the podcast. But first, I'm going to tell you about my experience in New York. I went up to New York City, the Big Apple, to be on the Jimmy Fallon Show. exciting announcement to make. I'm going to tell you all about my special announcement and my time with Jimmy. I had such a fun time hanging with Jimmy Fallon and doing the show. So we'll talk about that. Also, crazy news story.

Oh, my God. Wait, do you hear what somebody cooked in the microwave at the 7-Eleven down the street? Yeah, not pretty. not tasty, you're not going to like it. And if that doesn't make you cringe, then guess what? Camp Fire Timmy is here because it's summer and he's coming in to sing some of his demented stupid campfire songs. I'm not looking forward to it.

This guy drives me nuts. Ah, so get ready for that and everything else. So here we go. Put your helmet on. This is the Harland Highway. I have an announcement to me. You're about to go down the Harland Highway. Lock the door.

I don't want to be a product of my environment. Shut up! I want my environment to be a product of me. You're riding down the Harlan Highway. So, could I have to fuck to get off this phone? I can get you off. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself. Ha!

You're a cantalope. Tygon. Tygon. Taugon. Taugon. All right. Hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. I'm ashamed, big daddy. That's why I'm a drunk.

When I'm drunk, I can stand myself. Keep bleeding on that tutor, Charlie, and you're going to get a shot in the mouth. Act like a man. What's about you? I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening to Harlan William. The rest is bullshit, and you know it. It's the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and Harlan.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Oh, yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Yes, yes, I did it again. I went on the Tonight Show just last week with Jimmy Fallon in New York and had a great time. It's the second time I've done the show with Jimmy. The first time I did stand-up comedy on the show, had a blast.

Jimmy invited me back, and this time I just sat on the couch and yucked it up, yucked it up with Jimmy. That was my first time. And I got to be honest, felt very comfortable and relaxed. And Jimmy is really smooth at just like making you feel at home and not weird. And it's really good because, you know, I've been on so many talk shows. And some of them, the host is a little antsy or the host makes you feel uncomfortable or you don't have chemistry. You know, I've been on with Kimmel. I've been on with Letterman.

been on with with Leno, I've been on with Conan, I've been on with, I can't even name them all. And so it's a dance, it's a vibe, it's a feeling. And with Jimmy, I just, just settled in, felt really warm and natural and fantastic. And the crew up there, all the producers and the people who worked behind the scenes and the band and everyone was just fantastic. So I had an amazing time and I kept hinting

at me making an announcement on the Tonight Show and if you watched the segment and by the way, if you want to watch it, you can go to Tonight Show.com and you can click on past episodes and just look for last Tuesday when I was on with Ames,

Amy Foller, she was the lead guest, and then I came on after her. You can watch my little segment with Jimmy, and it was a great time. So anyways, I want to say thank you to the Tonight Show, thanks to Jimmy. Hopefully they'll have me back. But the announcement that I made was, and I've been teasing you guys with this for over a year, but there's been a lot of technical issues and a lot of editing and a lot of getting it right. But I finally released my latest stand-up comedy special. I announced it on the Tonight Show.

That was the big announcement. Carmel Corn the Pug. Yes, indeed. My one-hour special is finally here, and it's exclusively airing on Amazon Prime. So if you want to go on Amazon Prime, download my one hour special as Carmel Corn the Pug. Carmel Corn the Pug is my special where I did the whole special as a dog. I found this incredible mask where the mouth moves when I talk.

And I can't believe it. I did a whole hour in front of 600 people as a freaking dog, man, as a pug. Carmel Corn the Pug. So please, if you want to see something different and have a different, A different taste of stand-up comedy. This is the one. You go to Amazon Prime and you can buy the special for X amount of dollars. I think it's $9 and you own it in perpetuity.

Or you can rent it. I think it's $2.99. And, you know, anybody who's downloading it or watching it, let me thank you in advance. This was a special to give you a little back. story, you know, normally what happens is you approach or you get approached by a network or a cable network or HBO or Netflix or whoever. And they say, hey, we love Harlan.

Do we want to do a special? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, and you do a special and I've done, I don't know how many. I've done HBO. I've done Comedy Central. I've done this. I've done that. I've done Showtime.

I mean. And so. at this point in my life, in my career, I'm not looking to do another special where it's just me walking out in front of a velvet curtain and talking to the crowd and doing my act. I could do that and I can do it very well. That's what I've done my whole career. But I'm at a point where I want to push the envelope. I want to explore. I want to reinvent. I want to do what inspires me and I and in turn I want to bring stuff to you guys the the stand-up audience I want to bring you stuff that might be a little out of the ordinary might be different might be uh you know

something fresh or maybe completely stupid it may stink it may be good it may be somewhere in the middle but nonetheless I want to I want to go places with my stand-up and try different things so I figured I don't think anybody's ever done a stand-up special as a dog just just hearing that sounds ridiculous but you know i'm glad i did it it was a big experiment but but going back to uh what i was saying i kind of knew when i did it that no one would want to do it and so what i did is i financed the whole special on my own i paid for the camera of people. I paid for the crew. I paid for everything. I paid for the editing, the music, the this, the that. Oh, my God. It was not cheap, but that's my commitment to what I do.

And I kind of went into it knowing that it was more than likely going to get rejected by all the big cable networks and everyone involved. Netflix and HBO and Comedy Central. and knowing that I went into it anyways but once the special was finished I submitted it to all those places and they all took a pass which was not a surprise to me

it was a disappointment I'll be honest I was hoping one of them would be like oh my God this is so weird and different let's do it but I kind of knew that it would probably scare them more than anything and so as a result all the big places passed And by the way, these are all places that have done specials with me before.

But nobody in the history of comedy has ever done a special with a dog. Again, just hearing that out loud, it sounds ridiculous. So I went into it knowing that the odds of someone picking it up were probably slim. And then I'd have to do everything on my own, which I'm fine with. I kind of enjoy that, too. It's nice if you can get someone to pay for everything. but in this case, I couldn't. I did.

So thankfully, with this new digital age we live in, there are outlets for this stuff. You know, there's Vimeo and there's YouTube, and there's this and there's that. But Amazon Prime is actually a big, giant, global platform that lots of people use and have access to. And thanks to them, they put up a way for serious or not serious filmmakers or artists to display and find a home for their material.

So that's where you're going to find Carmelcorn the Pug. It's no different than going on iTunes and buying a song. You go sign in to Amazon Prime, you type in Carmelcorn the Pug, kick them in the kibble, and there it is. It comes up. So for those of you that are interested and hopefully you want to have a laugh and see something that's quite out of the ordinary. I hope you sign up.

I hope you rent or buy caramel corn, the pod, kick them in the kibble. And it's my passion project. It's my stand-up comedy that I brought to you to enjoy and hopefully have a laugh. So there you go. That was my big announcement on the Tonight Show. Again, thanks to the Tonight Show.

Thanks to them for Jimmy. He was so gracious plugging Carmel Corn the Pug. He held up the artwork, and he talked about it, and he couldn't have been more gracious and giving, and just wonderful. So all of those guys and Jimmy, thank you so very much. I hope you guys like Carmel Corn the Pug. Please write to me or call me or even leave a review. If you order the movie on Amazon Prime, you can write a review.

I'm interested to see what you guys think. And just before you, if you write a bad review or a good review or somewhere in the middle, just remember that, boy, doing this special was freaking scary, okay? Doing stand-up on its own is pretty terrifying. But once you get good at it and once you build a career, you kind of get into a comfort zone, right? you fall into a comfort zone with your stand-up. And that doesn't mean you don't keep writing and you're not creative,

but you kind of start to realize what you can do and what you can't do and what you're good at, like any job, right? So what I wanted to do was push the boundaries of comedy, but also push my own boundaries and do something that I'd never done before. And I don't think anybody's ever done before. And so if you think going out on stage and entertaining a room full of 600 people, for an hour and making them laugh non-stop is hard, try doing it when you've got a mask on your head of a pug.

Again, saying it out loud, sounds ridiculous. So to give you a little history on the special, I only probably tried going out on stage as Carmel Corn the Pug about five times. and when I did it, I only did it for about four to five minutes those five times because I wanted to test it and see if it had a reaction. If people just sat there, if they hated it, if they liked it, if they thought it was interesting. And the four or five times that I tried it for four or five minutes,

it seemed to work. But I only did four or five minutes because I was kind of terrified. It was a new thing. It's one thing to do stand-up as Harland Williams. it's different when you have a dog head on. Again, saying it out loud sounds ridiculous. So I transitioned from trying this four or five times for five minutes in front of, you know, maybe 100 or 200 people

in comedy clubs as a test run to stepping into doing it for an hour in front of 600 people with seven cameras. in front of me and shooting a special. So I really just kind of went from putting my toe in the water to diving into the deep end all the way to the bottom. And it was scary. It was weird.

I didn't know if I was going to lose everyone after five minutes, if they're going to be, okay, enough with the mask. We get it. But I'll tell you what, when you watch the special, these people stayed with me right up to the end. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes.

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It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland. H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So, be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So really interesting and fun. And just so you know, as Carmelcorn the Pog, I wanted to give him his own identity. So you're not really seeing me, you're hearing my material, but what you're seeing is Carmelcorn. And what I did is I made him a little bit edgier. I'm usually not really blue.

I don't usually use a lot of foul language, but I thought it kind of worked for this character. The idea of kind of a pug, which is a lovable little dog, that's rough around the edges and uses some blue language and has a little bit edgier material, I thought that kind of worked well for this, you know, juxtaposing raw material against, you know, a lovable sweet pug

And so I feel like it's a lot of fun It kind of works But enough about that I'll let you guys be the judge Please if you can If you have an hour in your life to spare Please go to Amazon Prime

And download Carmel Corn The Pug Kick them in the Kibble And thank you And thank you again To everyone at the Tonight Show Hey hey hey Well, again, I want to apologize for the show being a day late.

Oh, my God. I just, I get these technical issues with my equipment, and sometimes it just freaking shuts down on me. Luckily, I have this technician guy where I don't know if you've ever done the Google screen share thing with your computer. I mean, this is how amazing technology is. I have a technician guy who was working down in Brazil, and I texted him. I'm like, dude, please help me.

I can't get my stuff to work. It's jammed. It's frozen. It's mental. And so through the miracle of computers, I'm able to send him a code, and he can actually come on to my computer from Brazil and take over. He basically can see the screen. And through his keyboard, it now becomes my keyboard.

So he was able to come in and in about less than a minute and a half, he fixed it. And so here I am able to bring you the podcast. But it's a day late due to this snafu, and it drives me nuts. I get so much anxiety because I know the faithful pavement pounders are listening. And they're like, where the hell is it? What's going on, man? Like, why can't I hear the highway? You know, people are probably shaking their computers,

like an etch of sketchboard, like trying to hear if the podcast is rattling around. Where is? I can't hear it. I want my highway highway, man. Okay, annoying character voice. So anyways, thank you for your patience. Every now and then we have a little snafu.

But let's get back to summer is here, and how's everyone's summer going? We're right in the middle of it, man. This is August. We're right at the beginning of August. How's it? Hold on. Hold on. Hello?

Roger, are we expecting someone? Hello, come in. Hi. Oh, God, not you. Don't, oh, God, me, Mississippi mud pie ass. Oh, God. What are you doing here, Timmy? You know why I'm here, it's summer.

Okay, it's summer. Whoopi-Doo. So? So what? So summer plus campfire song equals summer campfire song. What the hell was that? That's called a math equation. Maybe if you went to school and didn't spend so much time hanging around at soup kitchens, you'd know stuff.

Timmy, what do you want? I'm here to sing Campfire songs in summer. Oh, God, you're about the worst campfire song singer on planet Earth. Yeah, well, why don't you, why don't you go eat your Mississippi mudslide underpants? I don't have Mississippi mudslide underpants. Yeah, well, why don't just pull your hair plugs till your eyelids pull up into your face. kid i don't have hair plugs yeah but i bet you have a butt plug stop it what what god what's the matter the cat got your tongue or did you slam your tongue in the back end of a dump truck stupid i didn't slam my tongue into a dump truck

yeah yeah well well what well go suck a can of cinnamon. Well, hurry up, are you singing songs or what? I told you I was, doorknob teeth. I'm not doorknob teeth. You ever seen a doorknob? Yes. You ever brushed your teeth?

Yes. Doornob teeth. Shut up, kid. God, you're annoying. So is your fat, cellulite upper thigh meat. don't talk about my upper thigh meat why because it's fat kid you are really grinding it yeah i bet you're on the grinder app looking for man meat i'm not looking for man meat hurry sing your stupid songs okay okay what i'm gonna sing my campfire songs well hurry up kid i'm hurrying if you'd stop

using up all the oxygen with your oxyfab fart face kid I'm gonna you're gonna what my father owns this place sing your first stupid

song what is it kid that's called wild what what is it wild rhubarb pie wild rhubarb pie what the hell does that even mean kid

well when you're out camping. Okay. There's lots of wild berries and fruits around. Yeah, so? So, if you find some wild rhubarb, you can make a wild rhubarb pie. A wild rhubarb pie.

And have you ever found wild rhubarb? I sure have. Where? In your underpants. Hurry up with your stupid wild rhubarb berry. Rubarb pie. Hurry up! Thank you.

Oh! Let's pick a pie, let's pick a pie, let's make a pie, let's let's pick a pie, let's let's pick a pie, let's let's let's pick a wild rhubarb pie. I'm walking through the bushes. What the heck is that? Is it a bush, a blueberry bush? Is it a bush a raspberry bush? Is it a strawberry, a strawberry bush? Oh, God.

Shut up! No, it's wild rhubarb song. Let's make a wild rhubarb buy, let's make a wild rhubarb bye. Hey there, girl, hey there, guy, let's make a wild rhubarb bye. Rubarb pie! Oh, God! Shut up! Rubarb pie!

Oh my God! What? That was just about the... That was more painful than walking into a helicopter propeller. Why don't you walk into your fat, stretchy underpants and see if you can find a baby. A baby moose in my underpants. You betcha it's all brown. Kid, do you have another stupid campfire

song? Yes, because I always do three. Then get the second one out and then get the third one out. Why don't you pull your teeth out and go eat a cob of corn, you dirty old street bag? I'm not a dirty old street bag yeah well I bet your bag smells like a dirty old street kid stop talking about my bag and sing your dumb song what's the next one it's called smores ghost in the tent what what well when you go camping in the summer you use a tent right okay and what if in the tent there's a smores ghost a smores ghost what the hell is a smores ghost well when you eat smores around the campfire right

okay later when you're sleeping in the tent right you do smores farts smores farts that's right or in this case ghosts so you're calling your farts ghosts

smores farts Smores farts Equals smores ghosts Oh my God Just sing it, kid This is ridiculous Thank you You're not welcome

Suck pomegranate seeds Rate up your Mouse trap Shut up and sing Dummy Oh What's that Whispering around the tent

What's that whispering around the tent What's that whispering around the tent What's that whistling sping around the tent, floating and bobbing and weaving and dancing. Oh, it's a little smores ghost, it's a little smores ghost. It came out of the cave in the valley. The smores ghost came out of the cave in the valley, and now it floats around in the haunted tent. Oh, my God. I'm not finished.

Hurry up! Oh, the smores ghost came out of the cave in the valley. Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. He floats around into your nose. Makes you sniff until you puke. The smores ghost makes you puke because he smells, because he smells, because he smells, he smells. He smells. Okay, no.

Go to the next song. I wasn't finished. You're finished. the smores ghost comes out of the cave in the valley yeah that means your butt hole I know what it means and it floats around the tent well unless you open the flap it can't get out

oh my god do you go to mental school or what kid up yours with a bag of licorice home slice oh do your last song hurry up shut the garage door on your garage face sip do your last song idiot

suck a bag of styrofoam peanuts right up your crab dip fucking bobbing for apples snot grabber kid I'm about to throw you out of here okay I'll do my last song here it is though I can't wait for this this should be ripe

What's this one called? It's my own song that's called Let Me See Your Booty. Let me see your booty. That's right. I wrote it myself. Oh, God. Just do it and get the hell out of here. Shut up, Farmer's Dozen, Egg Collecting Chicken Beak Twat?

Hurry up, dummy! Okay, here it is. Oh, let me see that booty. Oh, let me see that booty. Let me see that booty Shake that dirty booty Shake that dirty booty Oh, let me see that booty

Slide it all around Let me see that booty A big sack bag of grease Come on, come on, well stop Stop What the hell was that? It's my song That is not your song, that is like a rap song or something

It's my song, it's called Let Me See Your Booty First of all, it's not your song, and second, that's not something you sing around a campfire. I go wash your face in a blender at a nun's house. At a nun's house. That's right. Oh, oh, oh, let me see your booty. Let me see your booty.

Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me see your booty. Let me see that booty. Oh! Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Let me see your booty. Swing it like Thor's hammer. Oh, swing it, swing it. Drink it, drink it, drink it, drink it, drink!

Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Get the hell out, kid! I'm not finished! You're done, get to take your booty and moonwalk out the door. Unbelievable. Time-wasting, freak, you should be at a special needs camp wearing a helmet that's on really, really tight.

Yeah, and you should carve a pumpkin and stuff it in your farmer's market face! Get out of here. Go suck a bag of sawdust down at the old dirty sawmill down by the creek. Salmon eggs, shavings, shit, massageer? I'm not a salmon egg shaving shit massager. Get the hell out of here. Up yours, ice cream, farts. Get out!

Oh, let me shake that booty. Let me shake that booty. Let me shake that booty. Let me shoot out. Roger turn them don't turn it up turn that kid stupid music off turn it off turn it off Roger turn it off good God what in the name of hell is wrong with that demented freak campfire Timmy like really shouldn't he really be in a home for special needs kids, like severely special, like almost borderline, like straight jacket. What a dumb, the smores ghost and the wild rhubarb pie.

The worst campfire songs, no one to eternity. God, go to a commercial. Let's, let me collect my thoughts and we'll come back and go to a commercial. God, what an idiot. A walk through the woods on an early spring morning. Fresh is a gentle breeze that takes you by surprise. Fresh is simple. With Summer's Eve, the most convenient disposable douche you can buy. This exclusive one-piece unit means there's nothing to assemble. And it's available on two fragrances or vinegar and water.

The solution doctors recommend. With Summer's Eve, freshness has never been simpler. The Harlan Highway. Crazy news. story. That's weird. That's strange stuff. Okay. You know, I don't know if it could even get any stranger after what we just witnessed with

Camp Byer Timmy, but, you know, hopefully this, this erases his memory and this is weirder than him, but here's our crazy news story headline. This is unbelievable. Ready? Here it is. woman fined after urine sample damages 7-Eleven microwave. What is going on in this world? A Denver woman was cited Thursday for allegedly causing damage to a 7-Eleven store's microwave oven when she tried to heat a urine sample authority said,

because, you know, it's that time of year in the middle of the summer where it's frosty and cold and, you know, what warms the bones more than a nice, hearty warm cup of old nice steam and urine? Oh, and when you run out of apple cider, hot apple cider, you just cook your own urine up and take the chill off your bones. What the hell? Here we go. A store clerk reported seeing the suspect identified as Angelique Sanchez 26. place something in the store's microwave before hearing a loud bang seconds later. I don't know what the loud bang was.

I guess microwaves don't respond to urine so well. The clerk reportedly told Sanchez to clean up the mess or she would alert the police. Sanchez then wiped out the microwave onto the floor with napkins. What the hell? First of all, why is she... Who carries around a urine sample? One, except for Lance Armstrong. And B, why do you heat it up?

Isn't urine kind of warm when it comes out? The clerk then called the police and told him she noticed yellow liquid dripping from the microwave and the smell was unquestionably urine. Oh. Yeah, urine is pungent enough. let alone you heat it up in a microwave. I mean, I talked earlier about heating up apple cider. We've all been in a Christmassy house

where the smell of hot apple cider is permeating in the air, and it just smells so Christmassy and nice and apple-y and cinnamony. What the hell does hot, warmed up urine make the house feel like? Good Lord. Police later found Sanchez about half a mile away at a health clinic where she was waiting to undergo a physical exam and urinalysis for a potential job, according to the report. Here we go. I think we're starting to figure out this dummy probably was a drug user.

And you know how when you boil water you kill all the microbes and the bacteria and all the bad stuff? this dummy was probably thinking on the way to the job interview I'll go cook my urine for a minute and a half in the microwave at 7-Eleven and kill all the bad stuff and then when I hand in my urine it'll be crisp and clear and clean although she forgot how would she explain that it's piping hot

and it has whipped cream and a cherry on the top of it Aye, aye, y'i. Oh, look, here we go. I think it was right. One of the quality check measures for urine screening involves making sure the sample is at body temperature or around 98.6 degrees. Sanchez reportedly told the police she had cleaned up the mess

but did not understand the problem. No, there's no problem, man. Please, go ahead. Please, heat up your urine in the microwave. and if you happen to have a meatloaf in your pants, you happen to have a big fat number two meatloaf, would you like to heat that up in there too? When I reminded her that urine blew up where the people prepared their food,

she told me it was not real urine, a police officer wrote in his report. Oh, okay, so I'll sit around at home. I'll whip up some fake urine. I'll put it in a sample jar, and I'll go heat up fake urine for no particular reason. The officer said Sanchez was issued a summits for damaged property after informing her that the microwave was worth $500. Sanchez was also not allowed to take the drug test that day. And in a post note, the good news is 7-Eleven hired. or on the spot to be a clerk.

Okay, I made up that last part. They did not. I'm not insinuating that that's the level of a 7-Eleven clerk, but in a way I am. Yes, I am. So there you go, man. People do the weirdest things. Does she not have a microwave at home?

Isn't that something you would do in a very... I mean, this girl should be charged with more than $500. What if it had not spilled and... blown up? What if someone didn't catch it? I mean, the fact that someone's in a place where there's food and it's a communal microwave oven where you heat up your hot dogs and who knows what else? And some nut job had the brains to go in there and cook their urine? Aye, aye, what people? People, what is happening to us?

what is happening to us I wonder what she put in the freezer I wonder what wonder if you go in there to buy some fish sticks or some frozen peas what you're going to find uh yes um yeah this tampon is this supposed to be frozen in the you know what I mean like it just

can go downhill from there so thanks a lot Sanchez for warming up your kiss for us and next time I hope they throw you in jail and they force you to have a golden shower before you go into your cell how about that see what that's like there's some warm pee for you all your other cellmates giving you a nice little shower a little taste of your own medicine how about that oh yo yo so there you go crazy news story roger wrap it up I'm going to Go get a drink. I'm getting thirsty. Oh, boy. I think we end the show there, gang. Holy smokes.

You know, maybe there was a reason my equipment broke. Maybe there was a reason I was late with the podcast. And, you know, had I known Campfire Timmy was coming in, I probably would have just waited another week. But what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Anyways, as I said earlier in the show, if you're into a stand-up comedy and you're into my stand-up comedy and you're into experimental and different and weird and a kind of form of stand-up comedy

you've definitely never seen before, please go to Amazon Prime and buy or rent my new special Carmel Corn the Pug, Kick Em in the Kibble. It's a lot of fun. It's definitely something different, and I hope you enjoy it. And leave me a review, or you can write me at harlindwilliams.com and let me know if you like it or hate it or you're somewhere in between. I'd love to get your feedback.

Also, you can phone me and leave a voicemail if you want. 323-739-4-330. Love to hear what you think. And as far as stand-up comedy gang, my next gig, Ooh, it's an exciting one. It's going to be in September. I'm off for the rest of the summer, but mid-September, I'm going to be in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

Oh, yeah, great city. And I'm going to be doing a show with my good buddy, Tom Green, from MTV and the Tom Green show. Tom Green, me and Tom are really good buddies. I just had lunch with Tom today, by the way. And we always have a good time talking about things. so me and Tom will be like co-headlining doing the show together up at up at the Blackfoot Inn in Calgary at the comedy stop

and it's going to be a great time we're there September 13 14 and 15 so if you want to see two of Canada's wackiest wildest comedians working together and it's going to be a really great show so I hope you get your tickets go online to harlomewilums.com. Pre-order your tickets because I have a sneaky feeling these shows are all going to sell out with me and Tom there together. So you don't want to be left out in the Calgary cold. Get your tickets ahead of time.

And like I said, that's it for the summer and the fall. I kind of have a light schedule. I'm actually working on a lot of writing projects right now. I'm actually writing a couple of feature films right now. I can't really go into what they are at the moment, but I'm actually working on three at a time. I'm writing two of the feature films. And then a third one, I'm doing like what they call punch up.

That's where you take a script that's already finished, and they hire a guy like me to go through it and punch it up and add jokes and just kind of give it another extra layer of funny and, you know, good little beats to just give it that extra oomph, you know? So I'm just so busy writing. I've actually had to cut back on my stand-up touring a little bit. But that's a good thing. I like doing both.

And then, of course, I'm writing, in the meantime, I'm writing on puppy dog pals. I write on every single episode of that show. And between me, you, and the moon, I'm actually working on a couple of, a couple of other animated series that I've sold here in Old Holly Weird that I can't tell you about yet, but I will. So, man, I am just so freaking busy.

And even though this podcast takes a lot of work, it's kind of like a little reprieve from all my work. It lets me take my mind off things and get crazy and talk to you guys and reach out and just spread a little laughter. So I thank you for being here, gang. I really appreciate it. Please tell your friends to get on the Harland Highway podcast. And like I said, if you want to call me 323-739-4330,

or you can write me at Harlemwiliams.com. We also have a great store there. We also have a way you can buy our premium membership. If you want every episode of the Harland Highway ever done, it's $20 a year for hours and hours and hours and days of entertainment. It's probably the best deal around. Also, again, thank you to Jimmy Fallon and The Tonight Show. Had such a great time.

Look forward to the next one. And don't forget Carmelcorn the Pug. Kick them in the kibble on Amazon Prime. And that's it, gang. I hope your summer's going great. If you're out camping, keep your eyes open for that idiot campfire Timmy. Don't let them ruin your camping trip. And that's it.

I'm going to pack it up. Again, apologies for being a little late, but this technical stuff, it drives me crazy. But nonetheless, we got it done, and hopefully next week we have no issues, and we're right on time, making sure you pavement pounders have your dose of the highway. So there we go.

That's it. Until next time, everybody, keep it real in the deal. And chicken, shall mean, baby. Up yours with a bag of licorice. slice.