The Harland Highway - 963 - DR. ASCOT drops in. BILLY IDOL Live in concert. Question of the day!

Episode Date: October 8, 2018

DR. ASCOT drops in. BILLY IDOL Live in concert. Question of the day! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everybody. Welcome to the Harland Highway podcast. I'm your deep-voiced host, Harland Williams. Oh, no, I'm not going to talk like that the whole show. Hello, everybody. Thanks for being here. Great show today. Oh, my God. Dr. Ascott drops into the show for my on-air therapy session unexpectedly. Yuck. You know how that's going to go. Horrible. Most of not. annoying guy on the planet. Ew. Also, question of the day. It has to do with your automobile.

The Harland Highway Question of the Day will be all about your car and how you drive it. Also, some letters. No, a phone call. Phone call from a pavement ponder. And it's a phone call that kind of takes a little turn into how we are interacting as a modern-day society. It's a little scary, actually. And then lastly, yours truly went to an outdoor concert and performed stand-up comedy. And we were like the only stand-up comedy acts amongst a bunch of musical acts.

And so I got to watch World Famous Legend Billy Idol. And I'm going to play one of his songs live from Cal Jam 18. So put your helmets on, everybody. This is The Heartland Highway. I have an announcement to them. You're about to go down the Harland Highway. Lock the door. I don't want to be a product of my environment.

Shut up. I want my environment to be a product of me. You're riding down the Harlan Highway. So, who don't have to fuck to get off this phone? I can get you off. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.

Ha! You're a cantalope. Tideon. Tadda-da-ta-ta-ta-ta-tod. All right, hold tight on the Holland Highway Show. I'm ashamed, big daddy. That's why I'm a drunk when I'm drunk. I can stand myself.

Keep bleeding on that tutor, Charlie, and you're going to get a shot in the mouth. That's like a man. What's about you? I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening. to Harlan Williams. The rest is bullshit, and you know it. The Harland Highway, question of the day.

Right, why not? Why not kick it off of the question of the day to get the gears moving? Grease the cogs. Get the brain spinning, right, gang? Here's my question of the day, because this is something that's wigging me out, and I don't even wear a wig. um how many of you have one of those rearview camera dash cameras in your car and it's become so reliant on it that when you don't have it you don't even look where you're going so here's what i'm talking

about a lot of a lot of cars now in the old days you just had your rearview mirror and your side mirrors, and you'd back up and you'd hope you didn't crush a baby cow or a kid or something. But now most cars have the little cameras down in the back of the car, down by the license plate, and so you can look on your dashboard in your car, and you can watch yourself backing up. You can see if there's people walking. You can see if there's a deer grazing. You can see all the way to Cincinnati if you need to. I mean, you can probably wail down the road backwards at 60 miles an hour if you have this thing going, right?

And so I've got one of these in my car. And what happens is sometimes when I travel, I get rental cars. Or if I'm at the cottage, I'm driving a pickup truck or whatever, you know? And I'm getting to the point where I'm so. used to the camera, the screen on my dashboard when I back up, that now when I've become accustomed to not turning around, I've been accustomed to not looking in the rearview mirror or the side mirrors. So now whenever I get in a rental car or something that doesn't have that feature, I've actually kind of caught myself backing up without even looking. I'm so used to just

not looking. It's almost like a like a trigger mechanism that I need now. And so now I've become really bad at backing up because I've become so reliant on this thing. And then even when I do, you know, do what I'm supposed to do, which is look in the rearview mirror and look in the side mirrors, I find myself doing that half-assed. I'm just kind of used to pulling backwards and not having to put too much effort into it. What kind of dummy am I, man? And it's weird, and it's a direct result of this dash cam thing. Because before I had that, man, I was always like, okay, crane the neck, turn the neck around,

you know, wishing I was an owl. I could just spin my neck around. I'm sure Linda Blair from The Exorcist never has a problem backing up. You know, she just turns out of your mother sucks and hell. I'm backing up. Satan is my master. You know, she could spin her head right around. No worries for Linda Blair.

But that's the people that aren't possessed by Satan. We got to kind of crane our neck around and then you go, you know what, I was going to go for fast food, but why don't I just drive right to the chiropractor? I just threw my neck out backing up. God. What am I an ostrich? So there you go.

I'll keep it short and brief, but my question of the day is how many of you, like me, have become far too reliant on the backup panel cameras on your dashboard. There it is, the Harlan Highway, question of the day. and I'm not backing out of it. That's my question. The Harland Highway, question of the day. You're such a fuck-ass.

What? Please. Did you just call me a fuck-ass? Elizabeth, that's enough. You can go suck a fuck. Oh, please tell me, Elizabeth. How exactly does one suck a fuck? You want me to tell you?

Please tell me. We will not have this at the dinner table. Stop. Hello? Hello? Hey, Arland. I got a couple thoughts about

you know a couple things you know you might want to talk about I don't know but I was I'm strolling through Target you know and I'm like I look up and there's like he's very kind of heavy

not to be mean but the female mannequins very like either very skinny or like kind of like very full I don't know if you know know what I'm talking about. So I'm, like, shocked, and I'm strolling through the men's section. I'm like, huh, I wonder if we'll have a bunch of, you know, big dudes or, like, really skinny nerve as mannequins. But no, they're all fit. They all have six packs, not in their hands,

on their belly. You know what I mean? I'm saying? One of those things to play a double standard to catch 22. Anyway, when are they going to have the full-figured men mannequins with the large pants on? Anyway, that's all I'm saying. If I say anymore, I think I'm going to get in trouble. And I have nothing against, you know, I think it's a beautiful thing. No, I don't. You know what I mean? I just, I don't care.

It's like, but it's just weird. I didn't see any, you know, men close for the big guys, you know what I'm saying? All right. Anyway. I don't know. I got a nice thought for you. I'll call you back later. Love this show, dude.

I'll be later. All right. Interesting call from one of the. pavement pounders. And it is a question that maybe needs to be answered. Why is it that they have hefty sized mannequins and normal sized mannequins for the women, but for the men, it's just the chiseled six-pack, super-toned, awesome-looking mannequins. Well, first of all, I'm not complaining, you know, I want to, if I'm better, if my gender has to be represented, make us look good. Okay? And secondly, I'm sure somewhere there is obese-sized mannequins.

I've never seen them. In fact, I've never seen obese-sized women mannequins, but I guess I'll have to start hanging around and target more, right? But here's the thing. You know, I don't know that obese-sized mannequins are a good idea because a lot of people in this country and around the world have become complacent about their health. And I think if you start, you know, just acknowledging and trying to make obesity or overweightness seem normal or acceptable or whatever, then when you normalize obesity,

I think it encourages more and more people to be complacent with their obesity and accepting of their obesity and possibly even striving to be obese. because it's no longer a taboo thing. It's no longer something that should be non-desirable. And I'm not making fun of fat people here or heavy people here. I'm saying this out of caring and out of your health. I think when you normalize obesity and start, you know, creating displays throughout society that make it seem like it's just like

at another day at the office, well, then people might lose the urge to try and stay healthy. They might not start to feel singled out or alienated because they're heavy. And let's face it, some people are heavy for medical issues. You know, they have glandular problems or thyroid problems or there are people that really have a sickness where they really overeat and then you're getting up into the 500 pounders and more. But for the average citizen who gets overweight, it's mostly due to a careless lifestyle where they're not eating right and they're not engaging in any physical activity.

And basically they're trimming ears off their life because they are killing themselves with their obesity. And here's where it comes into play that I say I'm trying to say this out of love. because when you normalize that and you start putting displays up and, you know, God bless the plus size models, you know, everyone has to wear clothes. But let's face it, when you're models and you're glamorizing things, you're also glamorizing weight issues. And when you start, like I said, normalizing it, I think it's unhealthy for society because people might stop putting in the effort.

If they see pretty, you know, hefty girls with pretty faces, modeling and acting sultry, they might just go, eh, you know what, she's doing it. She looks pretty hot. I don't have to, I don't have to stop going to the Olive Garden three times a week. What am I doing, paying 60 bucks a month for a gym membership? When these girls, these, these plus-sized models are telling me it's good to be fat. It's good to be heavy. It's sexy to be heavy.

Why am I fighting being healthy when I could be sexy and fat and overweight and maybe suffer from diabetes and other health-related issues from obesity and overweightness and heart disease and kidney failure and high blood sugar and yada, yada, yada, yada? So as much as we all love all human beings And we all want people to to wear clothes and be happy And we can't just say that there's no hefty people in society But I think if we glamorize it too much If we acknowledge it too much We're feeding it And people who should be watching their weight

And watching their calorie intake and watching their health issues might be persuaded not to do it if it becomes too accepting in society that obesity is A-OK and everything's dandy. And by the way, don't forget these clothing companies, they don't care about your health. They just want to sell you clothing.

They're probably happy that you're overweight because I'm sure hefty-sized clothes take more material and they probably cost more. So in their minds, the CEOs of these plus-sized companies are like, keep eating, gang, whatever. Maybe they're the ones behind all this stuff. Let's start putting symbols out throughout society that normalize obesity and overweightness.

That way, more and more people will just start to feel comfortable about it. And, you know, there's safety in numbers. So if 100,000 overweight people feel comfortable, then eventually 300,000, well, and so on and so on and so on. So I'm all for the slimmed down, chiseled, you know, and all of us, many of you listening might be a little bit overweight. Even if you're 5 or 10 pounds, I'm probably 5 pounds, you know, have 5 pounds on me more than I should.

I like seeing a chiseled mannequin. It gives me encouragement. It reminds me, oh, yeah, maybe I should slim down a bit so I can get into those clothes, those nice-looking, slim-fitting clothes. That's a healthy objective. That's a healthy thing to be aiming at. Aiming for being large and glamorizing and glorifying your overweightness is not a healthy approach. So I'm against these large.

I'm not against large people. God knows we all have issues of being, you know, maintaining our weight. and there's many large people, but for the sake of these large people that I care about, I'm against perpetuating that it's a good thing to be overweight. It's not. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve want wants to make your life easy. They offer discreet shipping as your privacy is a priority.

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And then to the second part of your voicemail goods, sir, is, man, I am worried about what we're becoming. I mean, did you hear the hesitation and the trepidation in this gentleman's voice when he was leaving his voicemail? He's very kind of heavy, not to be mean, but the female mannequins. What I'm worried about is people are becoming so sensitive. to everything now that we're starting to be afraid to talk about anything. We're starting to be afraid to have opinions, and we're starting to be afraid to use words, and we're starting to be afraid to describe things, and everything we say, we have to have a disclaimer, or we have to stammer and double back and cover our tracks and make

sure we didn't upset anyone or ruffle anybody's feathers. You're just not allowed to, like, say what's on your mind anymore regardless of how offensive or how innocent it can be. Anyway, that's all I'm saying. If I say anymore,

I think I'm going to get in trouble. And I have nothing against, you know, I think it's a beautiful thing. No, I don't. You know what I mean? I just, I don't care. Like, but it's just weird. I didn't see any, you know, men. we're becoming an egg walking on eggshell society ever heard that term walking on eggshells have you ever been in a relationship with a boyfriend or a girlfriend where you're always walking on eggshells you're so scared of saying anything because it's going to cause a flashpoint for your significant other and now we're in an era of of public communication

where people are checking and double-checking their statements and rethinking them and to the point where they're not even expressing what's really on their mind anymore. And then if they do, they do it in a cowardly sense. They're afraid. They're terrified. Everybody.

It's just getting really creepy, man. It's really a sad thing. to see. And I think a lot of this is stemmed from social media because I feel like everyone's just sitting around waiting, watching, listening for someone to misspeak or not even misspeak, just say something that's real. And someone who has an opinion and people can't wait to call them out and label them as a bad person and good Lord. We're all going to be talking like robot soon. Yes, how are you today? Don't you look lovely? Thank you. Thank you very much. You look very nice too. My, you look trim and slim in that 700 pound pantsuit. You must be going to the gym,

are you? You look like you've been running marathons, even though you're 700 pounds. Don't you look lovely today? How are you? If I say anymore, I think I'm going to get in trouble. He thinks he's going to get in trouble but by from who? Who's going to get them in trouble? Who's listening? Who's going to say something? There's this precautionary social awareness of somebody out there is going to get me in trouble because I thought that a mannequin looked fat. Oh boy. But the reality is there might be someone out there that wants to get them in trouble. And so welcome to the Walking on Egg Show all society we live in. I don't know, man.

And what I don't get is who are these people that have time for this stuff? Who are the people that are so busy policing everyone else and everything they say and interpreting every comment they make? That if they make a comment about overweight people that suddenly they're, they have a running hatred for overweight people, they're not allowed to make a simple observation anymore. I mean, good Lord. So, yeah, that was a multi-tiered voicemail right there. Part of it was dealing with, you know, the problem of obesity and being in shape.

And the other part of it is dealing with what the hell's happening to us as a society where just everyday people are afraid to talk. It's not just politicians and celebrities and people in the life. Lamlight now. Now it's like everybody. I don't know, boys and girls. It's not pretty. Well, I don't mean that. I don't mean it's not pretty. I don't mean it's ugly. I'm not, I wasn't saying it's ugly. No, I didn't mean that. When I said it wasn't pretty, I meant what I meant is it's it's not an attractive feature.

Oh my God, I didn't mean that. I didn't know. No, no, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's pretty. Oh, you're so pretty. You're so low. Oh, my God. No, I don't. You know what I mean? I just, I don't care. It's like, but it's just weird. There's something so eternally true that they are worth dying for, and if a man has not discovered something that he will die for,

he didn't fit to live. Hello, Alland. Oh, God. What, how did, when did you get in here? Holland. No, I was in the middle of talking about something very serious. Did you just sneak in here, Ascot? Holland.

Stop. Stop saying my name. I'm asking you something. Holland. Stop. Did you just sneak in here when I was busy doing the podcast? Holland. Stop saying my name.

Holland. What do you want, Ascot? You know why I'm here, Holland. Yeah. I know why you're here, but now isn't the time. I'm doing my podcast. This is when we always do your therapy sessions, Arland. But usually I get at least a notice that you're coming.

You just don't slip in here with your raspberry socks. Who wears raspberry socks? Arland. Stop saying my name, Ascot! Arland, we have to have your therapy session on air as demanded by your boss, Mr. Featherstone. I know he says we have to have my therapy sessions on the air, but like I said, normally I am told. And why do you have an Ascot with cobs of corn on it?

Oh, God, you're just creepier every time I see you, Dr. Ascot. Arland, are you ready for your therapy session? Yes, anything to get it over with and get you out of here, you creep. Arland. Stop saying my name. Arland. God! Hurry up.

What are we talking about? I can tell Arland by your tone. You're in an agitated state of mind, Arland. Well, could that have anything to do with you, Mr. Raspberry Sox with penny loafers? Arland. Stop. Arland, I was listening to your pre-ramble. It's not a pre-ramble.

Whatever it was, you were talking about Holland and I noticed you were getting very upset about using certain words. Well, since you were listening, and I didn't know you were back there, yes, I was talking about how people are afraid to speak to say anything. That if they say the wrong word, it's going to press a button. And everything's going to get overinflated, and then... Arland. What? We don't say overinflated, Holland. What do you mean we don't say overinflated?

What... Yes, I just said it. Holland, that's not a very kind way. Just talk about overweight people. I'm not... I'm not talking about... I said overinflated issues. Holland. What?

We don't say the word overinflated anymore. What do you mean we don't say the word overinflated? Why? Because you're specifically and obviously talking about obese people, Arland, and it's insensitive, and it's not politically correct. I am... See, you're making my point right now, As Scott. The fact that I used the word overinflated...

Oh, and overinflated in a very perfect sentence about a topic not even related to obesity. And see, you turned it around and made it that I was talking about something else. You turned it all over. Holland. What? We don't say turnover. What do you mean we don't say turnover? Turnovers are the favorite snack of obese people.

Holland. I did not mean turnover like a pastry. Holland. Look, I meant you can't turn the thing over like you can't turn it over. Raspberry or strawberry, Holland. Raspberry or strawberry what? Turn over. I'm, I am not talking about pastries.

Now, will you get off of it? Just get off of it, Ascot. Holland. What? As you know, many fat people have trouble getting up off of the couch or off the chair. Okay. I distinctly just heard you say, get off of it, Holland. I said, would you get off of it? Would you get off the topic?

You didn't say topic at the end, Arland. You said, get off of it, which is something that's very difficult for obese people to do. if they're sitting on a plush chair or a couch or a park bench due to their massive calorie intake, it's almost virtually impossible for them to get off of it. Okay, you know, see, this is exactly what I was saying. We are becoming so policed by the words we used, okay? We are getting cornered in, we're getting boxed in, and...

Arland. What? We don't say boxed, Holland. I said we are getting boxed in. You know what comes in Boxes, Arland? What are you talking about? Chocolate cakes come in boxes, Holland. What?

What, it's so? Holland. Obese people love chocolate cakes, and you just said... I said box him in. Why do you keep going back to pay It's not me that's going back to the wall. And you keep using words that are extremely offensive to large-boned people.

You know what? I'm... See, what I'm doing... Holland. You're mixing me up, As Scott. Holland. Stop saying my name. You're mixing me up.

You're turning me all around. And I'm not going to be... I'm not going to be manipulated by you or anyone else. Now, if I want to talk about things, I'm going to talk about things. And you, I'm not going to let you, you get twist it all up on me. Holland? What? Have you ever heard of a donut called a twisty donut, Holland?

Yes? I think I just heard you say, twist it all up, Holland. Yeah, because I meant twist it, twist it all up like a twisty donut. That's what I meant. okay yeah oh boo you got me everything i say is a subliminal jab at the hefty set i'm a mean cruel tormenting person who everything i say has a a subtle subtext about fat people yeah i don't like them and i'm being mean and read into it whatever you want ascot i mean this is just crazy talk man And this is just full-on manipulation and mind-think, and, you know, it's just slimy and it's greasy.

Holland. What? You know what else is greasy, Holland? What? Freshly cooked French fries, Holland. Freshly cooked French fries, huh? That's right, Holland. and one of the favorite snacks for the obese set.

Yeah, and that's what you think I meant. When I said greasy, you immediately assume that I'm meaning French fries. Darling. You know, why don't you just get out of here? Take your raspberry socks and your corn on the cob. Wait a minute. Speaking of food. Yes, Arland.

Wait a minute. Why are you wearing? clothes that are representative of food. What do you mean, Arland? Well, you've got raspberry colored socks. Yes. And you've got an ascot with little prints of corn on the cobs on them. What's that all about, Ascot? What do you mean, Arland? Oh, are you trying to make fun of obese people? Are you tempting them with food? Are you trying to send a subliminal signal that all fat people do is eat? Is that what the corn and the raspberry stuff's all about? Oh, well, you, oh, so I see you can do it to me, but I can't do it to you.

You know, you're just a turkey. Get the hell out of here. Holland? What? You just said turkey, Holland. Oh, my God, dude. Fat people like to eat turkeys. Lots of them.

Fat people, Arland. See, now you're saying fat. Fat people like to eat whole schools of turkeys. What are you talking about? Fat people love turkeys, Holland. They like to eat flocks of them at a time, like popcorn out of a bag. They just scoop them up and eat them with the feathers and the beaks and the claws. They'll eat their whole turkey.

They'll eat the chicken wire around the turkey coop. They'll eat the barn that the turkeys are living in all, and they'll eat your house. What are you doing? Get out of here. Sorry, Holland, I slipped. Whoa, that wasn't very nice what you just said. I don't think I said anything, Holland. No, I heard you go on a ramble about, and you quote-unquote fat people eating turkeys and the barn and the whole thing. I think you're a bit amped up, Holland, and will end the session.

No, no, no, no. You clearly, clearly said some stuff there. I've got to be going, Gawland. No, come back here. Come back here with your raspberry socks. And you're busted. You are busted, Ascot. You totally stepped in the big shit pie.

We don't say pie, Holland. Get out of here, you idiot. God! Oh, my God. Roger, next time tell me when that moron's coming in here. he's the reason he's the reason why we can't speak the way we want to speak and then underneath it all he's he's the problem you cut you heard them they eat turkeys like popcorn they'd whole schools and flocks of turkeys see it's always the the uh the the

kettle the the the the the kettle calling the kettle black or whatever it is we don't talk about kettles, because that's what fat people cook in. Get out of here! Jesus! Kettles are what fat people cook in. What a dork. Roger, play

a commercial. I got to calm down. What an idiot. God. Fresh is. A walk through the woods on an early spring morning. Fresh is, a gentle breeze that takes you by surprise. Preciouser says, Simple. With Summer's Eve, the most convenient disposable douche you can buy.

This exclusive one-piece unit means there's nothing to assemble. And it's available in two fragrances, or vinegar and water. The solution doctors recommend. With Summer's Eve, freshness has never been simpler. Let's close it out with something real, as opposed to that nonsense that Dr. Ascott was trying to spew on to me. So on a more cheery note, I did a music. festival on the weekend. I did a thing called Cal Jam, Cal Jam 18,

which is an outdoor musical festival out in like Ontario, California. And a great time. It was a bunch of stages set up outdoors and all these different bands and musicians playing. The foo fighters were the main band. A band, I don't know one song. In fact, I left. They were like the last big show of the night. and I left, I didn't even, I went and watched them for about 30 seconds just to say I've seen them.

But I walked in and I walked out of the big arena because I had a full access pass so I could just walk in right at the front of the stage. I mean, best seats in the house. And I was like, well, I should at least look at them so I can say I've seen them. But I don't know any of their music. But there were other bands there. I saw a band called Garbage. She's kind of a famous band from like the 80s, the 90s. I saw Tenacious D with Jack Black.

And this guy's got a full-on rock and roll show that he does. You know, I thought it would just be like kind of goofy comedy with a couple of songs sprinkled in, but the whole show is very musical and staged and choreographed. And I got to say, Tenacious D had one of the biggest crowds. Jack Black and his partner there. his partner's name, but they did a great show. And then I saw Billy Idol.

Oh, my God. Billy Idol is one of my all-time faves. In fact, I shared the same stage as Billy Idol. Billy Idol did his show on Friday night, and then I walked out on the same stage that Idol was on and did my show. What a, what up. I mean, this is a guy that when I was a kid in college, I was like, I love this guy. And now here I am at a festival with them.

It was like kind of so surreal. And then I saw Iggy Pop. He's like an old pop legend from the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. I mean, this guy's still kicking around. And I guess that's what brings me around to one of the things that was weird about the festival. You know, it was this big rock festival. And what they do is they have the bands on stage. But then they also have these big screens so that they film the bands and you can see them on the big screen.

Well, they're playing live, right? And, you know, sadly, I noticed this, and I'm part of it. We're all getting old, man. Like, I got a little gray in my hair. I don't look like a spring chicken anymore. And Billy Idol was up in his 60s, and Billy still looks cool, but you can tell he's looking a little older, and his voice, he was kind of losing it a lot,

and a lot of the songs he was losing it. He still sounded really good, and for 60, he had a lot of energy, and he was, but, you know, he was kind of losing it. And his guitarist, Steve Stevens, who used to look like a really kind of one of those sickly rock guys that always look cool like Keith Richards. Now he's got like all this hairspray on and he was in a stuffed into a leather, leather suit. And you can tell he's like, used to be like thin as a rail like a rock star. And now he's kind of chubby. And you can see they stuffed him into this.

black leather suit and he had a big fat black leather ass that just it looked it looked weird man and then iggy pop is famous for never wearing a shirt that was his thing this is one of those guys who was just naturally cut you know like like a mannequin in a target store this guy always had a six pack and he was always chiseled he just had one of those wily bodies he always looked like he had zero body fat and so this guy would go on stage his whole career with no shirt well guess what Now he's got to be in his 70s, okay? Because if Billy's in his 60s, Iggy Pop was around before Billy, okay?

So Iggy Pop's got to be up in his 70s, man. And guess what? He walked out the same way he's always walked out, black jeans and no shirt. And this guy's skin looked like, someone asked me, they go, what does his skin look like? And I said, it looks like a rhinocin.

Assessorce's asshole after it farted inside of itself. I don't even know what that means, but this guy's skin was so, like, crazy. It was wrinkly and old, and you can see like moles on it. You can see, like, you know, like melanomas. And I'm not saying the guy had cancer, but they looked like melanoma freckles. And, oh, yeah, yeah, it was hanging and saggy. and he had a spare tire or a muffin top and, you know, he was literally walking with a limp

like he's an old man now. But he was still trying to do some of his, like, his really, like, you know, wicked moves. He used to twist and contort his body all over the stage, but, dudes, it was a little weird. He still had a great voice. He sounded great, but he just looked like, it was like watching a topless old man,

walking down my street. And it's weird because he obviously still has a hairstylist that knows how to dye his hair just perfect because he had his hair looked like the hair of a 20-year-old and the rest of his body looked like someone left a suitcase out in the acid rain or something. And then even Jack Black, who's a buddy of mine, you know, I know Jack, we've hung out, we've talked,

we've worked shows together, I know Jack. And no disrespect to. Jack, but he's looking older. He came out and he had a full, like, gray beard and a little heavier than usually is. And his partner from Tenacious D. This guy's, he was bald with completely white hair. And the girl from garbage, you know, she's no spring chicken anymore. She had, like, makeup on her face and stuff.

But that's the thing with these big screens, you can kind of see the ravages of time. And that's not to take away from their talent or their sound or the gifts they have or the joy they've brought us. It's all still there, but, you know, rock and roll is more, you know, sometimes it feels like it's about the youth. And the girl from garbage was still kicking it and putting it out, but you can kind of see the, you know, how people get the fat under their arms and you can see her legs were a little more jelly and the wrinkles. and then the people in her band. I'm telling you, it looked like old man. I thought it was at the Legion Hall, man. The guy on keyboards looked like an...

I'm not even kidding. He looked like an old geyser. He had glasses and he was bald and he looked like he was probably 60 or 70. Her guitarist looked old. I mean, everyone looked fucking old, man. And the foo fighters were probably the youngest-looking ones there out of the big famous bands

and they're probably inching up into their 40s or 50s And like I said I'm part of the mix I don't look the same as I used to Luckily for me Everyone tells me They think I've never aged

I've aged well everyone tells me I still kind of look the same But I do have a little gray in my hair And in my goatee I'm not old man looking yet But I'm going to be there one of these days And so it was a little Odd you know

Seeing all this rock and roll with the oldies. But then there were some younger bands there where there's some like kind of rock and roll like kind of punky like really edgy loud like younger guys and they were just jumping around like Iggy Pop used to jump around. They were selling the sex the way Billy Idol used to sell the sex.

Like that's what I mean. There was this raw like sex drugs and rock and roll energy with the young bands. And then the old guys, I mean they still put it out there but you can tell it was a lot more difficult and it wasn't as fluid and in the back of your head they're going yeah this is a money gig

they've been doing this for 40 years they're really they roll in on their tour bus or by a private jet they walk out they you know they're 65 they play the rock and roll ball ball how the fuck are everybody yeah

are you ready to fucking rock tonight like as if they talk like that around the house right and then they they do their things thing but then you get the young the young young youngans in there and they do because they're they're just jumping and jamming and throwing their guitars and what are you going to do right you build a career as a rock star you don't want to just hang it up because you hit 35 it's over you know and you're always going to have fans so you give them credit for doing their best and they still you know i loved it i loved billy idol i love all his songs i loved seeing him and he's he's still

doing the best he can with what he's got and that's all you can ask but i guess my point is it's just it's just a little weird maybe a little depressing even that that you just go man why why do people got to get old man why do these sexy like cool energetic talented people have to like start to look like senior citizens why do their voices have to start going it's like oh you know and when when they're part of your life when they're part of your upbringing it just kind of remind you that you you're getting up there with them. So enjoy it well you can, man. Enjoy your youth.

For those of you that are like in your 20s and your 30s, even your 40s and you're complaining, oh, I'm getting old, man. You're still there, man. Enjoy every day. As the saying goes, it creeps up on you fast, man. Before you know it, you're going to be at an outdoor concert somewhere

watching all of your like, you know, college year bands struggling up there on stage with their wrinkly skin and their muffin tops uh-huh yeah but you can never age the music right

it's always going to be in our hearts and our souls and I'm grateful I'm thankful that I got to see these legends and hear them and watch them and appreciate them and it was all great but it's a little little bittersweet sometimes when Father time

is right up on stage accompanying them but uh long live the rock and roll let's see if i i recorded one of billy idle songs i recorded him doing eyes without a face one of my favorites and uh why don't i try and play that for you here see if you can hear it i recorded it on my phone so it might not be great but you kind of hear how billy's slowed down a bit and the voice is a bit gone but still It's fun. So we'll end the show with a little eyes without a face. Billy Idol. And thank you for being here, everybody.

Before I... Well, I'll tell you what, I'll play it, and then I'll come back and give you the announcements. How's that? All right. Hit it, Raj. Billy Idol, Cal Jam 18. Eyes without a face.

I'm afraid and not my phone I'm far from home don't call me on the phone and tell me you're alone you see it's a little and you see it's easy to tease but hard to get me

eyes without a face eyes without a face eyes without a face I spent all my time Believe in all the lives To keep our dreams in life This book makes me sad You make you mad at you

But love may watch you You My eyes are coming things eyes are not a face and eyes are the face eyes without a face they've got no human grace When you have

I can't even next Steep a car and road that has a big of course But she's a load Packing out by the street line Trey won't say Look it down I'm on this bus On the psyched energy

By reading murder books And I say it I think of you and you're out of that song Say what a day Thank you. I close my eyes I don't I close my eyes

Yes, I wonder why I don't despise How old I can you Because love was once Soon I knew A girl is gone from your eyes I should have been in my eyes Eyes without a face

Your eyes without a face Eyes without a face You've got no human grace Your eyes without a face Oh, you're about a man. Oh, yeah. There we go. So good. Such a thrill to see.

So let's get to some announcements now that we've closed out the show with some eyes without a face. What do we got going on? Here we go. October 18, 19, and 20. Okay? That's next weekend, gang. Not this weekend. Next weekend I will be in Spokane. Washington doing the Spokane Comedy Club. So come on up. Check it out. The Spokane Comedy

Club. Very, very cool. Then November, November 1st, 2nd and 3rd. Another show in Washington. I'll be at the Tacoma Comedy Club. So two weekends coming up in Washington, the state of Washington. And mid-November, the 15th, 16th, 17, and 18th, I'll be at the Improv in Irvine, California. Great club. Lots of fun. And there you go. So come on down and check it out. You can find all these dates for my stand-up shows on my website, Harlem Williams.com.

And you can also look at our store while we're there. look around the website while you're there. You can order stuff. A lot of people have been ordering my movie. Fudgy Wudgy Fudge Face. It's a movie I directed and wrote and star in with a bunch of my friends. I have it on DVD. And it's out there on the store.

A lot of people have been ordering that the last few weeks. Ever since I did Bobby Lee's Tiger Belly podcast. All the people that heard it were ordering, we talked about fudgy wudge face, and now everybody's ordering it. So thank you, everybody, for ordering Fudgy Wudgey Fudgeface, my movie. Also, what else if you want to call us, if you want to leave a delicious voicemail the way some of the others have, the phone number is on the website?

Yes, indeed. Or I can give it to you. Hang on. Here it is over here. Way over here on the other side of the studio, Roger. Here we go. 323-739-43330. 323-739-4330 is the number.

Leave me a message or write me at harlemwiliams.com. There's a link on the website where you can write me anything you want. Also, don't forget to become a premium member, $20 a year. get you every episode we've ever done. And if you don't want to be a premium member, you can download our app on your phone for free and you get the 50 latest episodes for nothing. But if you're addicted to the podcast

and you're jonesing, hey man, why not try getting the whole damn series for 20 bucks a year? Woo! What else? That's it, man. That's all I got for you right now. puppy dog pals um i was wrong with the uh season two announcement they told me uh october 18th originally

but guess what it's october 12th so it's next friday how about that or sorry this friday what am i saying this friday so uh if you're a puppy dog pals fan on disney junior this Friday is the season premiere of puppy dog pal so check it out players and that's it man I hope everything's cool thanks for listening tell your friends to get on the Harland Highway and until next time everybody

chicken chameen baby you keep using words that are extremely offensive to large-boned people Thank you. Thank you.