The Harland Highway - 966 - FREDDY KRUGER calls in for our HALLOWEEN SHOW. Harland has a SEANCE. What is HALLOWEEN?

Episode Date: October 29, 2018

FREDDY KRUGER calls in for our HALLOWEEN SHOW. Harland has a terrifying in studio SEANCE. What is HALLOWEEN? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, did I scare you, everybody? Oh, yes, I hope so. It's Halloween. This is the Harland Highway Halloween episode. And what a show we have today. Oh, my God. Check this out. If this isn't the scariest podcast you're ever going to hear,

Freddie Kruger from Nightmare on Elm Street is calling the show later on. And we are going to talk. to Freddy Kruger himself from Nightmare on Elm Street. So you don't want to miss that. You're going to be terrified. It's going to be blood curdling. Also, we are going to explain what trick-or-treat is. We're going to get into the real history of what trick-or-treating is,

where it came from, how it started, what it is. And then also, I'm going to be reviewing the new Halloween movie. I'm going to talk about the new Halloween movie that I went to see, the updated latest 2018 version of the movie Halloween. I will review it and talk about it. Should be super fun. And then at the end of the show, oh my God, we are going to have a scary, haunted seance.

We're lighting candles in the studio. We're going to bring back evil spirits into the studio. This is going to be terrifying. Put on your seatbelt. Get your Reese's pieces. this is the Harland Highway. I have an announcement to me. You're about to go down the Harland Highway.

Lock the door. I don't want to be a product of my environment. Shut up. I want my environment to be a product of me. You're riding down the Harlan Highway. So, put off the fuck together. I can get you off this phone. I can get you off.

Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself. Ah! You're a cantalove. Tideon. All right, hold tight on the Holland Highway show. I'm ashamed, big daddy.

That's why I'm a drunk when I'm drunk, I can stand myself. Keep bleeding on that tutor, Charlie, and you're gonna get a shot in the mouth. Act like a man! Come on! What's the matter with you? I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening to Harlan Williams. The rest is bullshit and you know it. How cool is that music.

The Halloween music on our Halloween Harland Highway, the three H's. The Halloween Harlan Highway. Don't you just love that music? God. It's just so scary. I recently, speaking of Halloween, I recently went to see the original Halloween. it was playing in Hollywood and I bought a ticket

because I saw the original Halloween movie when it came out in the 70s and I'm only 18 years old I'm not an old guy scary getting old but anyway so I went to see the original Halloween when it came out in the movie theaters

and I remember it was like so cool and scary and then this theater by my house in Hollywood they screened the original Halloween movie at the theater on this huge screen so I got to kind of go back and relive my childhood a little bit

and it was really cool and nostalgic and it brought back so many memories and I really enjoyed it but what was funny is when you you watched the Halloween movie now versus when it was made And I'll tell you, filmmaking was different. The way people talked was different.

The way people dressed was different. The way they made movies was different. It was like really, like, really interesting. And one of the things that really kind of caught me was, you know, stuff that when the movie played in the 70s, people were like scared and frightened and freaked out. And I was, you know, this theater was full. It was packed. And what I noticed is that people were laughing at many points throughout the movie.

Because what passed for kind of normal in the 70s and scary in the 70s, well, you know, fast forward, what, 40 years? And suddenly, you know, we've had 40 years worth of horror and terror and terror. slasher films and all this stuff. And so some of the stuff in the Halloween movie was so kind of dated that people were cracking up laughing, which kind of caught me off guard. Like stuff that went when I saw the movie originally, people were jumping out of their seats and now people were like chuckling out loud and laughing because it just, you know, compared to where we're at today, it just didn't resonate as scary or violent or

you know what I mean so it was interesting and as far as filmmaking goes it was pretty interesting to watch because everything was so much slower so that there was a number of scenes where it's like Jamie Lee Curtis she she's I think she was like in her early 20s when she shot this movie but she's a school she's a high school kid and there's scenes where it's just her and her high school girlfriends walking down the street talking and the scene just kept going and going like they walked down the street and then they went around a corner and they're still talking and then they go down another street and they're walking and they're just having normal conversation so you go into the

dance tonight are you going to Tommy wants to take you to the dance I think he likes you like just real normal conversation and they're just walking through the street down the neighborhood sidewalk and then you know they do the shot where they walk up to the house and then they walk in the door and then they go inside the house and shoot her opening the door and walking into the house so it's these big long like kind of transitions versus what they do nowadays which is probably have someone walking and talking for like 20 seconds and then just smash cut into the house you're in the house and uh everything's much more uh you know speeded up and expedited and all that stuff and and so the cool thing about halloween is is this slow pacing

and this kind of real time kind of filmmaking it actually even though it's slower it kind of makes you feel like you're there it makes it feel like you're in the neighbor that you're with the girls, that you're walking with them, that you're hearing them. You're in the real world versus today's movies. Everything's just cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. You know, smash cut to this, smash cut to that. It's like, in the old days, it's like, hey, Sandy, you want to walk down to the corner and get a coffee? And the camera would follow them out the door and walk down the street with them to the coffee shop.

Nowadays, say, hey, Sandy, you want to go get a copy? Smash cut, you're in the coffee shop. They've already ordered their coffee And the shot is them sitting at a coffee table drinking You know, their coffees So it was really cool to go back and see the movie Like I said, a lot of memories I remember I went with my oldest sister Teresa

And I'll never forget it too I remember it was like, you know, scary And I did the classic doorknob thing Where the people sitting in front of me I think I grabbed their shoulders and went, boo, in the movie or something. I'll always remember it because my sister was laughing. I remember Teresa was laughing that I like kind of frightened these people sitting in front of us.

Like the thing you don't do at a horror movie, but you know, that's me. That's why I'm such a winner. But then to continue the Halloween story, let's hit the music again, Roger. I mean, I love this music, and this plays into my next segment. There we go. Thank you. so fast forward to 2018 and they released the next Halloween

although there's been a bunch of other versions of it throughout the years Rob Zombie did a remake of Halloween the original one was horrible just horrible I just cringed and there's been another like a bunch of sequels that none of them

None of them made sense. They were all weird, and they took these weird turns, and some of them, they were just bad. They were all horrible. So this new Halloween that's out is probably the closest to the first one. This is probably the sequel that should have been made 35 years ago. But it puts Michael Myers back in the mix. It puts Jamie Lee Curtis back in the mix. And one of the best things of all,

is they brought this music back. Listen to that. It's so cool. That music is so cool. It's so iconic and creepy. And in all the other Halloween renditions they did, they didn't use the music. And that's like going to see the movie Psycho

and you don't put in the, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, you know, like that famous psycho music. Or it's like if you go see Friday the 13th and they don't do the Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo Choo You You know like every You got to have that kind of cool theme music or it's like if you went to see a James Bond movie and they didn't do the James Bond theme or an old Clean Eastwood Spaghetti Western and they didn't have the wah-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa- Right?

And so this music like is so I definitely. defiable to the whole Halloween franchise. And so it's so cool to see it back in there, to hear it back in there. And then the movie itself was probably, you know, out of all the Halloween reboots they've tried to do, this one to me was the best because it stayed true to the characters and it kind of picked up where everything left off. And, you know, Michael Myers looked cool and it had that tension. kind of that slow burn that the first one had. I think they tried to kind of recreate the style to the best of their ability.

And Jamie Lee Curtis looks like an old lady now, but she still pulled it off. Her acting was good, and you could feel like the connection to the story because she was the one tormented in the very first one. So it was good. like brilliant, but it was satisfying enough that it wasn't a stinker. It wasn't brilliant. So I'd say it was like somewhere, you know, a six or a seven out of ten.

And one of the cool surprises for me in the new Halloween, I did a movie years ago called Down Periscope, a submarine movie. And my character, Sonar, worked in the submarine. and stood right next to the electrician, an actor by the name of Toby Huss, and every Christmas I play Toby's music for you. He does the snowballs. There's snowballs like mine

and all those Christmas songs that I play every year. And Toby's a great actor, and all of a sudden there was Toby, my buddy, and he didn't tell me, this is what's hilarious. I was just hanging out with them like a number of months ago, and he didn't tell me he, he got this gig and all of a sudden he shows up

and there's my buddy Toby in Halloween. He's one of the main characters. And it was so cool to see my buddy Toby in there and he did an amazing job. He's great. He plays the father of Jamie Lee Curtis's grandchild or the husband of Jamie Lee Curtis's daughter in the movie. And it's a bit of a spoiler alert here

but he gets killed by Michael Myers. Michael Myers grabs him and chokes him out and stabs them. And I thought, how cool, man. How cool to be killed by such an iconic character. And it immediately made me think of a movie I, another movie I did called The Whole Nine Yards with Bruce Willis. And in that movie, Bruce Willis shoots me to death. He puts like nine bullets into me.

And I always thought that was the coolest thing. I thought, if I got to be killed in a movie, how cool to be shot dead by such an iconic actor as Bruce Willis, right? So I always kind of had that as a little feather in my cap. You know, I got shot by Bruce Willis. Who did you get shot by? And now my buddy Toby, in my opinion, one-uped me because he got murdered by Michael Myers from the Halloween movies.

And I think that's probably, I mean, Bruce Willis is. cool, but Michael Myers is maybe cooler. I don't know. I'll let you guys decide. Maybe you want to phone me and tell me who you think you'd rather get killed by in a movie. Bruce Willis, shot by Bruce Willis, or choked to death by Michael Myers. We'll have a little vote. You can call me at 323739-43.30. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. All will be packaged and sent discreet. for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away.

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your back out. So anyways, I recommend renting the Halloween movie from the 70s and watching it for Halloween and then go to the theater and watch the new one. And I think if you're a horror fan. If you like the Halloween franchise, if you like Michael Myers, I think you'll be pleased and have a good time. So I thought I'd kick off our Halloween show talking about

Halloween. Ooh, just set the tone for our scary Harland Highway Halloween podcast. Ooh. Well, what do you know? A ham sandwich. Oh, you got to have a little Scooby-Doo

on the Halloween show, right? What do you know? Like a ham sandwich cube. So Roger promised me a special scary guest. I don't know. He said it would be a surprise guest. And I don't know why I trust you, Roger. But I guess, you know, what else can I do?

You're my producer. So Roger promised a surprised guest would be calling in today from the horror genre. It'd be a scary, scary interview. So Roger, I'm afraid to ask. because you've let me down, and I'm just being honest, bro, you've probably let me down since the very first episode of this podcast we've ever done. Okay? But that being said, maybe today you'll break your losing streak,

and maybe you'll have a good interview. So I'm going to ask you, you can hold up the name on the card through the glass. Who is our Halloween scary horror interview today? Hold on. He's writing something down with his Sharpie, his trusty Sharpie, and he's a, no way. Are you, Freddie Kruger? You got Freddy, get lost. Freddy Kruger's calling in. Oh, my God.

When's he calling in? What now? Oh, my God. Okay, here we go. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Freddy freaking Kruger, the Nightmare on Elm Street guy. Oh, my God.

Okay, this might be, you might have just broke your losing streak, Roger. This could be excellent. Okay, let's do this. Is he on the line now? He is. Okay, I'm not going to waste any more time. Wow, what a, what a coup. I don't know if you're going to get a lot of Halloween podcasts with Freddie Krueger.

calling in, gang. So here we go. Roger, there's better not be crap. Put them through. Halloween. Oh, my God. I'm tongue-tied. Freddy Kruger. Hello, sir. Are you there? Hello. Oh, boy. Here we go. There he is. Hello, Mr. Kruger. How are you, sir? Hello, Ireland. Yes. Oh, my God. Roger, you did it. We got Freddie Kruger himself on the line for Halloween. This is going, to be scary. Wow. Uh, thank you for being here, uh, Freddie. Oh, you're very welcome. So, boy, oh boy, the Halloween season, you're, you're one of the most iconic, and I hope this isn't politically incorrect, but you're one of the most iconic, uh, movie monsters out there, your, your, uh, your face is synonymous with nightmares and, and, and terror and horror. Well, thank you very much

You know, I built a career on it Oh my God, and this time of year I mean, people are watching your movies People are dressing up like you And you must just be You must be in heaven during this time of year When everything's like, you know, being scary And getting frightened is like at the top of the radar

Well, you know, I'm trying to change that a little Oh, oh, how do you mean? Well, you know, I've been kicking around in this old red and black striped rugby sweater for a long time. Oh, yes, we know it, sir. The iconic Freddie Kruger striped sweater with the holes, the moth-eaten holes. Yeah, well, that's part of the point. You know, at what point do you change your look? Sorry?

You know, I've been wearing that thing for 40 years, 50, I don't know how long, and it might be time. Time for what, sir? Well, I'm called a stylist. A stylist? Yeah, it's time to, you know, the fall's coming in. For the first time of my life, I want to be wearing my fall colors. Um, Freddy, I don't know if you need to concern yourself. with that. I mean, people like the way you look.

Yeah, well, they may like it, but you know what the last time is? I went on a date. Oh, I guess I didn't think of that. I mean, I look in the mirror and I just see a mess, you know? I look at my skin. I look like a walking ball sack. Uh, well, your skin is a bit, uh... You don't have to say it, it's wrinkled.

It's pruned. It's a mess. I look like a, not only a burn victim, but I look like a burn victim that was in a three-alarm apartment fire and got his nuts caught in a fireplate or something. I mean, my skin. I mean, if I glued pubic hair on my face, it'd be a walking ball bag. Oh, okay. So... So what I'm saying is I want to get a dermatologist. I want to get the ball meat on my face smoothed out. You know, you know how that feels when a woman reaches up and touches your skin and Says, my, what a nice scrotum you have, Freddy. I gotta say that's my face, Bianch. Whoa, okay. I... all right, Freddy. And my nails, I mean, God

You know, I can't even run my fingers through a girl's hair without scalping her. I mean, you know how that feels? You're sitting at the Dryman movie theater. Probably watching one of my movies. and I'm trying to get affectionate and, you know, run my fingers through her hair and her whole scalp comes off of my hand. Yikes, that's never fun. Yeah, don't even get me started trying to get to second base. You ever heard of heavy petting? Oh, yeah, everybody's done a little heavy petting.

Yeah, we ever seen a cheese platter where it's all sliced up? Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to get crude here or anything, but, you know, my nails. or, I mean, I could make the wolverine look like a ballerina dandy boy. Yeah, you got really long, like, knife-like nails, and... Yeah, you ever reach for a girl's boob, and by the time you finish fondling her, it looks like somebody sliced some cold cuts and made a cold cut platter.

I mean, holy shit. Okay, that is a bit, I guess you couldn't really go on a date and get frisky with a Girl, without... Without turning into her cold cuts, yeah, that's what I'm saying. So I want to get my skin looked at. I want to get the nails, my clothes, you know, I want some fall colors, I want some spring colors. You know, my wife, you know, I've got notoriety. I'm famous.

Why don't I have a modeling agent, you know? Why can't I be going down the catwalk in my oiled up black work boots? Well, you do have a good career as a horror, you know, person, personality. Yeah, I mean, you know, Hollywood's fickle. I want to reimagine myself. I mean, have you seen my teeth, for Christ's sake? Well, you don't have the prettiest teeth in town, Freddie. Yeah.

That's why right now I've got these invisibleine teeth aligners in. What, the, the, the, uh, those clear plastic. Yeah, the clear plastic and the only bummer is they're clear. And so my shit-stained brown teeth still show through. But at the very least, you know, I'd rather have straight, you know, straight and perfectly aligned shit-brown teeth than, you know, shit-stained brown teeth that looks like somebody threw a grenade in my mouth, you know what I'm saying? Okay, so...

You know, I don't know if, you know, People like the fact that you're scary, though, Freddie. I mean, we like the fact that you cause nightmares and you make us sit up at night and you make us, you know, squirming our seats at the movie theater. And I don't know if we'd be ready for the reimagined makeover, Freddie Kruger. Yeah, well, this is my life, not yours. I mean, do me a favor right now. Okay.

Unzip your pants, reach down, and start rubbing your ball bag. What, no, no, no, Freddy, I don't... Well, other than your listeners, all your listeners, I want to reach down and rumble your fingers around on your ball bag, and if you're not a dude, I want you to reach in your grandmother's blouse and start fondling her left tit. Freddy, what are you saying? I'm just saying, that's the texture, okay?

Your ball bag and your grandmother's left tit is the texture of my face. And so I'm long overdue for a goddamn makeover. You know, when's it my turn to be pretty? When's it my turn to do a, you know, a crest commercial? When's it my turn to be the spokesperson for Chanel number five, you know? When do I get to slap on some angel wings and walk down the catwalk with the victorious secret girls? You know? Well, Freddie, I...

I understand that you've been pegged for a certain look, a certain style for all these years. But, you know, you ever hear this saying, do what you're good at? Do what I'm good at. Do you know what my breath smells like, you asshole? No need to get antagonistic, Freddy. My breath smells like a horse, farted in a pile of cow manure, and sucked it into a crap machine that someone's... just barfed into what what does that even mean exactly now you're a hollywood guy maybe you can uh you know

connect me with someone who can turn my image around you freddie listen we kind of called you because this is the Halloween show and we thought it would be scary and you can frighten us and i think the image of you like you know cleaning up so to speak and wearing nice clothes and having nice teeth and skin and hair. Hair, I don't have fucking hair. Why do you think I wear this stupid hat I found at the Salvation Army? You know, but all those people have puked and taken a dump in this hat? I take my hat off. I look like a bald fucking moose bag.

A what? I don't know. You ever seen a moose's ball sack? You gotta stop talking about ball sacks. Well, it's easy for you to say, I'm a walking moussa's ball sack. Okay, Freddy, maybe, maybe, you know, maybe, maybe this isn't the right time to be talking to you. You sound like you're maybe going through a bit of a midlife crisis or whatever. Well, yeah, maybe. And maybe, you know, you need to just take some time off and bounce back.

Oh, bounce back. What's that a ball reference? No, no, what do you mean? bounce back. Yeah? What a ball's do? They bounce? And what do I look like? A big fat

testicle? Exactly, you son of a whore. I'm going to come over there and teebag your whole face with my body, you son of a pit. Okay, thank you, Freddy. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That did not, Roger, that did not go

Halloween-ish. That went like, cosmetology like, you know, he wants a dermatologist and is he gone? God, geez, I was hoping we'd get scared or, you know, I thought he'd tell us some crazy horror stories about, you know, slicing up people and eating flesh and all that. And we, the guy's looking to go to the, you know, to write aid and find a dermatologist and stuff. He's getting his teeth invisaligned and he's probably at home loofahing himself in a milk bath or something. It's just, it's not scary.

Well, let's get, you know what, let's get back to Halloween. And have you ever wondered, have you ever wondered just where the whole trick-or-treat thing came from? You know, it's like we just go out trick-or-treat, we go to people's, we go to complete strangers' doors. In this day and age, when people are, most people are terrified of everyone outside of their house? Like, I mean, think about it. Imagine on any other day a cluster of people coming to your house dressed in costumes. You'd be like, you'd be like shooting them through the door with a shotgun, man. You know?

And so I always wondered, where the hell did this weird tradition ever come from? and I thought it might be interesting to share with you where the whole trick-or-treat thing came from. So here we go. Let me read you what I found out. It turns out the practice began with the Celtic tradition of celebrating the end of the year by dressing up as evil spirits.

The Celts believe that as we moved from one year to the next, the dead and the living would overlap and demons would roam the earth again. so dressing up as demons was a defense mechanism if you encountered a real demon roaming the earth they would think you were one of them fast forward to when the Catholic Church was stealing everybody's holidays and trying to convert them

they turned the demon dressa party into all hollows eve quote all souls day and quote all saints day and had people dress up as saints angels and still a few demons. As for the trick-or-treating, that tradition began in the Middle Ages. Children and sometimes poor adults would dress up in the aforementioned costumes

and go around door-to-door during hollow man's begging for food or money in exchange for songs and prayers, often said on behalf of the dead. This was called Soling. and the children were called solars. So there's a little bit of weird history there. So I guess this thing in the 1920s and the 30s was put on hold for a little bit during World War II.

And you'll never guess why, because of sugar rations. During the war they had sugar rations. so I, you know, I guess they're handing out, you know, rubarb and carrots to the kids or something, but they put trick-or-treating on hold, and now it's back in full force. Now, here's the earliest known reference to, quote, trick-or-treat, printed in the November 4th, 1927 edition of the Blackie, Alberta, Canada, Herald. and this is what it says. Halloween provided an opportunity for real strenuous fun. No real damage was done except to the temper of some

who had to hunt for wagon wheel gates, wagon barrels, etc. Much of which decorated the front street. The youthful tormentors were at the backdoor and front demanding edible plunder by yuttering the words trick or treat to which the inmates gladly responded and sent the robbers away rejoicing. That just, I don't even know what that meant. I just read something, and I'm like totally confused. And then here's something from the British apparently hate Halloween.

In 2006, a survey found that over half of British homeowners turn off their lights and pretend to not be home on Halloween. Halloween. Yet another reason why the United States is happy to be free from British rule. No fun. So there you go. There's a little history on how the whole trick-or-treat thing got going. It was kind of a religious thing, and then it was for like poor people, and then it was about spirituality and demons, and now it's just about, can we be honest? about Reese's peanut buttercups, man. Now, none of the spiritual stuff. It's not even about being scary anymore.

It's about just give me the damn peanut butter cups, the Twizzlers, the red vines, the good and plenty, the chips. Don't you dare drop an apple in my bag and crush it, you bastards? It's all about the sugar and the candy. And I got to say, man, it's kind of fun. to go out to parties and see people get creative to go to a Halloween party. I went to a Halloween party last night. And it was fun. It was fun to see people I know and people I don't know, like dressed up. And all of a sudden, you see dudes that you always thought were kind of

schloppy and then they dress up in some cool outfit and you're like, oh, that guy's kind of cool and hot. And then you see some girl that you always thought was just a plain Jane, and suddenly she's there in a, you know, a sexy nurse costume with fishnets and her boobs pushed up. And you're like, wait a minute, Barbara, when did Barbara become a hottie? Right? Suddenly Barbara's wearing pumps and a little mini skirt and a stethoscope. And you're like, man, I hope I have a stroke tonight so that nurse can get on me. And then it's just funny to see creative people. Like sometimes you have the people in your social circles that you don't think they're

very creative. You know, they work in an office or they, you know, they've never really presented themselves as being all that creative. And then all of a sudden you go to a Halloween party and they're like, whoa, what the hell is that a flying lizard dragon with a midget on its back? Like suddenly they're the most creative people and they win the, the conference. costume contest. You're like, holy crap, you know, and you're like, all right, that's a side of my friend I never knew about. But that's so funny, the Brits, the Brits turn out their

lights and hide. That cracks me up. It's so funny. But it's a great tradition, you know. I think it's a really fun holiday because it's not super expensive, like Christmas. And Thanksgiving, you don't have to buy a big turkey and make a big meal and have the family and you don't have to travel to see your family. It's just what's great about Halloween, it's just your community. It's in your own neighborhood, right? Your own neighborhood, your own friends. The most you have to buy is a little cheesy $30, $40 costume or something.

There's no real travel involved. And it's just silly. It gives a chance for people, for grownups. You know, kids love it, of course. course. I loved Halloween as a kid, but it really gives grownups a chance to just kind of act out and be silly and have a laugh and make fun of each other and make fun of ourselves. And it's a fun, it's a fun holiday. It's kind of a stress-free holiday, unless you get stressed out about the costume. Some people really overthink, oh, my God, what am I going to wear? I don't

know what to wear. Oh, my God. What am I going to do? Oh, my God. It's like, don't stress it, Man, just, you know, put a pair of shorts on backwards if you have to. Put a bra on your head. Get some lipstick and make fake stitches on your cheek. I mean, you know, you don't have to owe anyone, you know, an Academy Award-winning special effects costume. The idea is just to do something a little silly and have fun. So there you go.

Happy Halloween. And do we have anything else scary, Raj? I feel like we got to have something more scary. I mean, you know, the Freddie Kruger thing just didn't do it for me. All right, well, let's do a commercial, and me and Roger are going to put our heads together, and we come back on the other side. We'll try and do something scary to end the show on Halloween.

You don't have to pick up a bag of Butterfinger for Halloween. Maybe your house looks good covered in toilet paper. Give those monsters what they want Get your fingers on some butterfinger Okay, this is a great idea Roger I love it So during the commercial Roger came in the studio here We dimmed the lights

We turned off all the lights We lit like what do we got in here About like 25 candles lit? It's very creepy And Roger was like Why don't we have a seance And bring someone Into the studio

That's really skisking and really creepy and frightening. And I was like, yes, yes, excellent idea. So we are now in the, I'm in the studio, Rogers looking through the glass. And I am going to try and channel some kind of horrific Halloween entity that just freaks us out and repulses us and scares us. and uh and let's let's see what we have i guess uh roger hit some hit that scary music we had earlier there we go and i'll just start chanting and uh oh god the smoke in here i'm gonna start some chanting and see if we can't can't bring in some monstrosity

into the studio all these scary forces all the dark forces bring into the studio the lowest, scariest, creepiest, freakiest of all. Bring them to us, oh, dark forces, bring to us on this most hollow of wean, the scariest, awfulest, craziest, Thing that there is out there. Bring him unto us.

Oh my God. Did you hear that? Oh my God, the door's creaking open. Roger, the door's creaking open. Come into the studio. Oh, horrible nightmare. Enter now. Hi, I'm cinnamon boy.

Oh my God. What the hell? I'm cinnamon boy. And I love cinnamon. What the hell are you doing? here kid I don't know I was just walking down the street eating some cinnamon toast and all of a sudden it's like I could hear a voice in my head what do you mean a voice in your head I don't know it's like come here come here come here come visit come here oh my god I asked for the creepiest most horrible cinnamon boy you know what this just about works this should you know what get out of here kid We don't want you, we want something creepy. God, the smoke in here.

I could cook some cinnamon over all these candles and have some cooked cinnamon, because I'm cinnamon boy, and I love cinnamon. Get out of here! Up yours? Suck a cinnamon stack! Out! God! Roger?

What the F? Can you believe that idiot's cinnamon boy came in? here and I have to admit he is creepy. I'm cinnamon boy. Get out! And I love cinnamon! Out! God! Can we start this again please? I don't want cinnamon boy. I want something creepy and horrifying and something that makes your skin crawl. Start the music up again, Roger. Let's try this again. Make sure security. It's escorts that idiot cinnamon boy out of this building let's do this creepy skin crawling disgusting vile here we go oh dark forces of the night dark

Halloween spirits from the underbelly of the nether world bring forth from the dark shadows the creepiest disgusting vile oh my god the door's creaking again oh my god something's coming in something's coming in hello alland oh my god Holland what the hell are you doing here dr. Ascot Holland stop saying my name we're in the middle of a seance I was just down in the cafeteria Holland and it's like I heard a a voice calling me oh my God What kind of voice?

Well, it sounded a lot like your voice, Holland. Oh, really? And what was this voice saying? I believe it said, bring me the creepiest, most disgusting, vile piece of phlegm from the universe. Yeah, that's about right. Welcome to the seance, Dr. Ascot. You're it. Oh, really? Yeah, you're the... You win. You know what, Roger? Thumbs up for once. We have found the creepiest, scariest, most repulsive...

Holland. No, really, look at you. And how appropriate you're wearing pumpkin-colored pants? Holland. And a yellow blazer of all things. Holland, I am trying to be festive. Oh, well, you've done it. Welcome to the seance.

You are officially the creepiest. Holland. Yep. Sit down. Have a cup of coffee. We're going to play some creepy music. If you want to sit in for the announcements and stuff, creepoid, you can. Holland.

Yeah, yeah, that's my name. Don't wear it out there, uh, skin crawler. Holland. Mm-hmm. So, let's do some announcements while the creepiest freak on the planet sits there with his beady little eyes, the candles glowing in his eyes like a vampire koala. Holland. Stop saying.

It sounds like a coffin creaking open. Holland. You know what? I actually keep doing it. It adds to the Halloween. We finally found something scary. This is good. Holland.

Yep. Love it. Okay. So let's do some announcements here. First of all, happy Halloween to everyone. Have a safe and fun. Halloween. Enjoy yourself. Have lots of laughs and frights and

candy and merriment. And then kicking off in November, which is Thursday, I'm going to kick off the new month doing stand-up comedy in Tacoma, Washington at the Tacoma Comedy Club. So if you're out there in Seattle or Tacoma or anywhere in the surrounding area, please come out. I'm going to be doing the

shows Thursday, Friday, Saturday. That's November 1, 2, 3. Great way to kick it off. And we will have a good time. And last time I did that club, we sold out every damn night. I mean, we filled that thing every single night. People out there, great fans, loved it. So if you want to go to the shows, make sure you get your tickets early.

You can order them at Harlan Williams.com. Allandwilliams.com, Holland. Don't say my website name, okay? Hollandwiliams.com. Just sit there and stare in the candles, you freak. Holland. Quiet, I'm doing the announcements. And then two weeks later, I will be at another comedy club in Irvine, California,

which is Orange County, at the Irvine, Improv. God, Roger, these candles are really like choking me up in here. Irvine, California Improv, that's November 15, 16, 17, and 18. How about that? So a couple of good shows going down in November. And as of now, those are my last ones for the year. I'm taking December kind of off, which will be really sweet and nice and enjoyable. Harlem Williams.com, order your tickets for Tacoma and Irvine, get ahead of the curve before

they sell out. And while you're at Harlem Williams.com, check out our store. We're selling all kinds of merchandise, fudgy wudgy fudge face movie, a movie that I made independently that's a little crazy and out there. We've got t-shirts. We've got music. We've got all kinds of cool stuff. So please check that out.

So while you're there, you can become a premium member. For just $20 a year, you get every damn episode we've ever done. And we are right now on 966. So if you don't think that's bang for your buck, $20 for 966 episodes. Hello, Dullo! All in Quiet! And then if you just want the most current episodes for free, You can download our app.

We have a free app at the app store. Download it for free, the Harland Highway podcast in your app store on your phone, and you will get the 50 latest episodes absolutely free. So there you go. So lots of stuff going on. Second season of Puppy Dog Pals is in high gear. People are loving it.

People are sending me emails. And if you want to join the Puppy Dog Pals Parade, I do have a Twitter feed just for Puppy Dog Pals fans. And I post all kinds of pictures and comments, just dealing with the cartoon, the Puppie Dog Pals. The Twitter handle is at Puppie Pals Bob. So I kind of answer all the tweets on that page as Bob, a character from, he's the guy in the Puppy Dog Pals show that I do the voice for.

Bob is the owner of the Puppy Dog Pals, the two little pugs. And so if you want to share your pictures of your kids wearing puppy dog pals costumes or little videos of them watching the show or playing with the toys or whatever, we have a great time at puppy dog pals at puppy pals Bob. Puppy pals Bob and you can share with all the puppy dog pals news related stuff. And what else? I think that's it.

Just have a great time trick-or-treating and enjoy yourself. And thank you for being here. Sorry, Freddie Krueger was a bit of a letdown, and the seance and everything else. But we did get the creep doctor-askot, which I think is the scariest of all. Oh,land. Stop it. Holland, may I do something before you go? What?

It's very Halloween, Arlund. All right, close it out with what are you going to do? I'd like to sing a Halloween song. Okay, just do it. Thank you, Arland. One, two, three. Just sing it. I was working in my lab late one night.

When my eyes beheld, an eerie sight. The monster from his lab began to rise. and suddenly, to my surprise... No, this sounds horrible. Stop it. He did the mash. Stop it. He did the Monster Mash, Holland.

You don't say my name during the song. It caught on in a Flash, Holland. Stop saying my name. He did the Monster Mash. Out from his coffin. No, stop it. Get it out. Get him out.

Whatever happened to my transatlose. Pennsylvania Twist Island! Get out! Idiot! That's it! Happy Halloween, everybody! Have a great time, and until next time, chicken, chow, trick-or-treat, maim. My breath smells like a horse,

farted in a pile of cow manure, and sucked it into a crap machine that someone just barfed and just barfed until. Thank you.