The Harland Highway - 969 - THANKSGIVING SHOW, turkey talk and a call from RABBI PAPPENHEIM. Crazy NEWS STORY too!

Episode Date: November 19, 2018

THANKSGIVING SHOW, turkey talk and a call from RABBI PAPPENHEIM. Crazy NEWS STORY too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Harland Highway, ladies and gentlemen. And let me just get this out of the way real quick. Happy Thanksgiving. Yeah, this is our Happy Thanksgiving show. Oh, yes, we will be playing our annual Thanksgiving turkey song. Yes, we're actually going to be talking about turkeys. I had a sighting of some wild turkeys. We're going to talk about that.

Also, a crazy news story that is probably going to turn your stomach. turn you off of eating any turkey during the holidays. It's a little bit rough. It has to do with baby parts, if you can believe it. So get ready for the crazy news story. Also, speaking of eating, I found out that I'm lactose intolerant. Yeah, it just came out of nowhere. Wait, wait until you hear how I figured out I was lactose intolerant.

Pretty wild. And also, we're going to take some calls. calls from the pavement pounders, discuss some hot topics. And then our friend Rabbi Pappenheim is calling it, apparently, to wish us a happy Thanksgiving and talk about Thanksgiving and giving thanks for friends and family. So we always look forward to talking to Rabbi Pappenheim. It's going to be a great show where we celebrate you, the listener, and everything else. So put your helmet on.

Here we go. This is the Harland Highway. I have an announcement to me You're about to go down the Harland Highway Lock the door I don't want to be a product of my environment I want my environment to be a product of me

You're riding down the Harlan Highway So, put off the fuck to get off this phone I can get y'all. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself. Ha! You're a cantalope.

Dagon. Dagon. Dagon. All right, hold tight on the Holland Highway show. I'm ashamed, big daddy. That's why I'm a drunk. When I'm drunk, I can stand myself. Keep bleeding on that tutor, Charlie, and you're gonna get a shot in the mouth.

Act like a man! I wasn't really sure what was going on. You're listening to Harlan Williams. The rest is bullshit and you know it. Well, here we go. It's one of those moments in life where you find out you have a health issue. Don't you just love that? Everything's just going along great and then suddenly you find out you have a health issue.

Who needs it, right? So here's mine. Oh, it's so annoying. So I just found out recently that I'm lactose intolerant. Have you heard of this? It's like you can't handle any dairy products. And it was the most embarrassing way to find out I'm lactose intolerant. I was on a little road trip and I'm cruising down the road and I got a beautiful.

lady by my side and the sun is shining and you know we had the convertible top down and we're just like going through the countryside and I had no idea I was lactose intolerant and as we're cruising along we passed a giant field filled with cows right just grazing cattle and spontaneously for no reason whatsoever I just started yelling profanities. I was like, fuck you, you fat pigs, assholes, your big fat moors, up yours, you, your milk-producing whores. Fuck you, you grazing, grass-eaten, milk-squirtin, fuck-heads. And the girl I just said,

wow you are really lactose intolerant and I said yeah I had no idea I don't know where that came from it just came out of nowhere so there I was cursing and yelling at cows for no reason just total lactose intolerance oh god but cows have don't cows have quite the life huh cows have quite the damn life don't they when you think about it It's like, what do cows talk about when they get back to the barn at the end of the night, right? The end of the day. Oh, how's your day? Oh, it's pretty good, really?

Oh, really? What you do all day? Well, let's see. I waddled out into the field in the morning, right? Okay, that's what I did. And I basically ate all day. I ate and I ate and I ate and I just... What are you talking about? You ate the grass? Yeah, that's right. I ate the grass. That's what I was eating all day too. Yeah, it was bloody good.

And then what you do? Well, then I think I took about 15 solid dumps all over the field. Oh, I taught 18. I was counting. Well, you beat me by a few. Well, maybe tomorrow then, eh? Right, and then what you do? Well, after I ate all day and took 15 giant steaming dumps, right? Don't forget to mention global warming.

Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, then I whordled back to the barn. That's right. That's what I did, too. And, uh, a wait in me stall, right? And, uh, this goofy-looking guy, I think they call him the farmer. That's what they call him.

Oh, he was wearing the overalls. Didn't look very intelligent, right? Just started pulling on me tits for about three hours. That's what he did to me, too. Just tugging on me teats. That's right. Just jacking me teats. tits off for three, felt bloody good.

That's right, did you have a bunch of milk squirting out? Yeah, all kinds of milk filled a bucket or two, really. That's what I did. And then the fucking retard started drinking it. Started drinking your tip milk. That's right, guzzling it down. That's what he did to me, the stupid fuck. I know, a real twat, that one.

I mean, what the hell? That's day after day of the cows. Just eating and crapping and getting their boobs pulled. And then somehow us humans, us intelligent humans, drink the breast milk. What the hell are we doing? Drinking other, hello, drinking other animals breast milk. You don't see a monkey sucking on the breast milk of a moose. You don't see a walrus nibbling on the teat of a polar bear.

You don't see other animals and mammals and creatures drinking other animals booby milk. How did us humans get in on this? Kind of weird, man. Maybe some weird guy had a fetish and just did it because he was like a weirdo and he kind of passed it on to his family when he's living out in the country there when they were pioneers and it just kind of spread.

And now we all drink like a squished cow's booby juice without even thinking about it. It was like a multi-trillion dollar market of boob milk from a big fat dump-taking cow. So there you go. I'm lactose and tolerant. Up yours, you big fat milk squirters! And speaking of farm animals,

how about the turkeys? We got the Thanksgiving turkey. It's Thanksgiving coming up this week. The big day where we gather around with our friends and family, we give thanks. So first of all, happy thanksgiving to all you all. And one of the ways in which I give thanks to all you listeners, all you pavement pounders, is to say thank you for listening.

Thank you for being a part of the podcast. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your involvement. Thank you for your support. Thank you for the people you've brought into the podcast and mentioned it to. Some of you have donated money on the website to the funding of the podcast. All kinds of ways I give thanks to all you listeners. Regardless of how you're involved, it's just it's great to know you're out there

and that you're enjoying the show. And we give, we give, I give, me and Roger, everybody here at the Harland Highway, give great thanks. for having you and thank you thank you thank you is what I'm trying to say if you haven't figured it out and speaking of turkeys this is this is a similar story um recently I really was driving you know the first story was made up I was not on a road trip driving through the country with a little lady that was kind of part of the bet but I really was driving through the country the other day actually with my cousin we were we got together to work on some songs

and uh we're going to have some new cousin songs for you guys in 2019 some really cool ones i think you're going to like them uh but anyways we were driving through um the country uh recently like just last week and we were going through fields and there was a field of cows but in with the cows, right near the fence by this road, this kind of empty country road, was literally like a big flock of turkeys, wild turkeys. Like there was probably about 25 turkeys. And it was interesting because, you know,

I think a lot of people think of turkeys like cows or horses or pigs that the only place you'll ever see a turkey is in a farm or in the fence at a farm. You know, you don't see cows running around wild in the forest. You don't really see horses. You still have some wild horses, but not a lot of people see those. You don't have wild farmyard pigs. You have wild boars and you have wild mountain goats and things like that.

But the domestic version of a lot of farm animals, you never see out in the wild. And it's rare you'll ever see a chicken just run. running around or, you know, things like that. So probably what many people don't realize is that turkeys are a wild bird. You have your barnyard turkeys, of course, that are domesticated and kept in the confines of a farm. But there are a lot of wild turkeys out there that roam around and they're in little flocks and groups. They're kind of like pigeons or any other bird that flocks together.

And so we drove by this field And there was like these great big turkeys And they're big birds They're big damn animals And they were just out there Like pecking through the grass And it's just interesting Because you kind of forget

About the wild side of turkeys We're so used to just seeing them in the supermarket And in the farmyard That you kind of forget So for those of you that aren't aware of it There are a lot of wild turkeys running around out there in nature. So if you're feeling a little adventurous this year,

and instead of like wandering into your local grocery store and just doing the old boring thing and plucking a frozen turkey out of a freezer, you strap on some camouflage, put some face paint on, buy a bow and arrow, or a crossbow, and go cross. around in the forest on your stomach for three days and put an arrow through a big fat turkey, bring it home, hang it upside down, pluck it. That's right, I said pluck it,

and gut it and clean it and cook it up. Real old school style, hunter style. How about that to change it up? Instead of just grandma in the kitchen, you know, we've got to defrost the turkey for 12 hours and then let's roast the jiblets and let's stop no no no it's time to go caveman baby crawl around on your belly and prowl through the woods for your dinner imagine if we had to do that every year holy god you know how many people would be shot on thanksgiving if the woods were full of like turkey hunters oh my god if every household in america wanted a turkey and they had to hunt for it Look out, Sally. But anyways, as a tradition every year for Thanksgiving, we always play the Thanksgiving turkey song.

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Let's take this moment to give thanks for everything and remember that everything is fleeting and and we're only here for a little bit and we give thanks for all the good things and the good times and the good people and the good animals and the good everything good. We give thanks across the board and so to do that, let's play Raj hit it, hit the Thanksgiving turkey song. Here we go. Happy Thanksgiving. Turkey Govo, go go go go go go go give thanks Go

Go go go go go go Go turkey Go go go go go go Go get fakes Thanks The pilgrim And this clock Ro, ro, ro, to play me the bride.

To eat turkey. Gaba, goba, gova, gova, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, give thanks. To be pilgrim at his feast, young, young, young, young, young. I'm young eat up birdie They call turkey Cava, cava, cava, cava, cava, cava, cava, cava, cava, cava, cava, cava, cahua, cahua,

c'clock, c'clock, gau, c'a bo, c'clock and then whites, slice, slice. With their night Take on turkey Come on go Gama gauva gauva gauva giv thanks Gop guvogga goa goa

turkey Gov go go go go go go go go go go get thanks There you go turkey song. We play it every year. Isn't it fun? Just a little way for us all to celebrate together and remember it. What? Oh, hold on, hold on everybody. Roger is signaling me through the glass booth there. Somebody, oh, somebody's calling in to wish us a thing, happy Thanksgiving. Who is it? Oh my God, Rabbi Pappenheim? Great. Okay, so there's a member of the community here. He's a rabbi friend of mine, Rabbi Pappenheim.

He works down at a local synagogue. And a great guy. We get together now and then. And he calls the show once in a while just to say howdy. And so isn't this nice? He wants to wish everybody a happy Thanksgiving. Great. Well, let's put him on, Raj.

Yeah, I love this. Hello, Rabbi Pappenheim. Hi, hello, Alan. are you today. Great, great, Rabbi. What a treat. So nice to hear from you. Well, you know, it's Thanksgiving,

Garland, and, you know, I thought maybe I would give you a call and wish you good tidings and happy thanks for, you know, you and your family and everybody you know. Yeah, and all my listeners, of course. Yes, of course. It's all all your listeners on the Holland Highway podcast, and, you know, we give thanks for everything. Day in and day out, it's a wonderful life, Holland, and we have so much to be grateful for. You know, you're so right, and, you know, I'm just so happy that you called in while we were talking about Thanksgiving.

It's so nice to have a friend who wants to share, and, you know, you know, and, you know, You know, I guess I should say I give thanks for your friendship. Absolutely, Alan. And I give thanks for, thanks for your friendship. And to show my thanks for the friendship, I was thinking maybe, you know, in the upcoming weeks before the Hanukkah or the Christmas, perhaps as a little present. You know, the Rabbi Papenheim could take you out for some lunch.

oh my god really that would be so so wonderful yes yes i was thinking uh you know we could go over to the food court at the mall and uh you know we could get the good the appendix flash they got the the new york fries oh yeah they got all the the good uh uh like food court foods they have like the e-dough which is the you know the japanese they chop up the chicken and the shrimp and they put it on a bit of rice with the terriaki island. Oh, yeah, I like that stuff. And also what they have, it's just the place I like to go, and perhaps you'll permit me if maybe I could buy you

what you want to say, yeah, but they call it how they say you, but they want to call the, how you say you, the vegetables, What, what, what was that, a rabbi? The Vetzel, what you want to call it, the pretzels. Oh, right, yes. Vetzels, pretzels, I know that's one of your favorite spots, and if that's what you want to do, I am down. Oh, well, listen to that fun, well, we'll go for the Vetsuals.

I want to call it a pretzels, and we'll talk about things, and how will you be spending your Thanksgiving, Holland? Well, I'm going to be spending it right here, you know, in Hollywood, surrounded by all the Hollywood fanfare, and I think they do like a Thanksgiving Day parade, and a bunch of celebrities are in it. Oh, I love the celebrities, Holland. Who should they...

Are you going to say Thanksgiving Day parade down in Hollywood this year? Well, I think the Grand Marshal of the parade is going to be, I read it was going to be Bet Midler. I'm sorry, what did you say? Bet Milder, rabbi. What, bet on Hitler? No, what? I heard you say bet on Hitler. No, I didn't, I didn't say, no, I said, Ben Midler.

Why would you say bet on Hitler? Who? Who is this guy? No, no, no, rabbi, I said the Grand Marshal is... I know who used the Grand Marshal? You're going to use that terminology of me now? Oh, suddenly, Adolf Hitler's a Grand Marshal? No, no, I said,

Bette Midler is the Grand Marshal of the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Well, why would I offer to take you to the Zephardt for the Vetzels? What you want to say, eh, you want to call it the Bratzel? and suddenly you're telling me to a bet on Hitler? No, I did not say bet on Hitler. Why would I say that? Well, that's whatever. I'm not a betting.

I'm a rabbi. I can't. Betting is not part of what we do. It's sacrilegious. And not only are you asking me to bet, but you're asking me to bet on their Hitler? Who is this guy here? Rabbi Papine, I'm please.

I need you to slow down. I would never, ever say something like that. I think you're mishearing me, Rabbi. A lot of times when we talk, you miss. No, I heard you say that you got all the celebrities all over Hollywood. And right under the gate, instead of naming a celebrity, you tell me to bet on it. I mean, who is this guy here?

Who is this guy? No, I did not say Bet, I was talking about a bunch of celebrities Oh, really? And you go right there, who else? In this case, who else is the celebrity? Well, there's other ones. There's like Ben Stiller?

What? Did you bet on Hitler? No, I said Ben Stiller, Rabbi. Are we going, oh, my God. They twice, he told me. First, it's bet on Hitler. I say, who's another celebrity? He says, bet on Hitler again. What am I at the horse races for the Nazis?

I said Ben Stiller, Rabbi. Oh, here me go. Who is this guy here? I offered to take you to Vexels, pretzels, and you ask me to double down on the Adel Vittler? I mean, who is this guy? Rabbi, we got to slow this down. There is no way that I am saying,

No, I heard what you're saying, and you know what we can't think my offer to take you to what you want to say, how you want to call it, what you want to say, uh, what you want to say, uh, Vetzel's Pretzels? Uh, but let me say it, uh, Vettels, uh, pretzels, uh, Rabeigh, listen. No, you listen to me. I was going to take you out. I called to wish you a happy Thanksgiving and you tell me to go to a horseplay. and bet on Hitler? You know about happy fuck Thanksgiving? How about that? Up yours with a hum of holes. Go straight to hell, you

unbelievable. Who is this guy? Fuck me. Whoa. Roger, you heard me. I said Ben Midler and Ben Stiller. This guy is

he's got Hitler God. The Harland Highway. Crazy news stories. That's weird. That's strange stuff. All right. Here we go.

It's Thanksgiving. We got to give thanks for all the crazy people in the world, right? So I thought it might be a good time to do a crazy news story. So here's what we got. Check it out. Talk about Thanksgiving treats. Here's the headline. Mums are wearing babies' umbilical cords as jewelry.

Oh, God. Here we go. If it wasn't enough getting rid of the gluten and the sugar and being a vegan and all the rest of it, now we're wearing babies' ambilical cords. Oh, my God. Here's the story. Cut that out. it says, doting moms are so attached to their newborn babies

that they're holding onto their children's umbilical stumps as keepsakes and turning them into jewelry. Ew! I did not want to hear the term umbilical stump. The stump is the part of the umbilical cord that stays on the child's stomach after the cord is cut if it falls off naturally within 7 to 21 days so in other words can we just say it's like a giant scab oh just come on and then there's a

picture here um from someone's instagram feed where they basically like glazed the umbilical stump and put a chain into it and made a necklace and here's the Instagram, this lady writes, beneath the picture of the glazed umbilical. It looks like a cinnamon bun that's gone bad. It says, this amazing necklace was one of the early keepsake pieces I created. It's an actual umbilical cord that was dried in a coil

and made into this necklace. Fast forward many years later, it's back in my studio along with two more cords from two more babies. that joined her family. And this single pendant is going to be a serious statement necklace with all three cords in one piece. Great.

So now people are going to start having babies as a source of income. You know, our inventory in the old jewelry store is a little low. We better crank out some octoplets. Yeah, let's pump out as many babies as we can. And while we're at it, their scalps look pretty interesting. What about baby wings? And what about their bones?

Why don't we make some, we can probably make some great bracelets with those little baby bones. They're so darling. Jeez. This lady, Ruth Avra, a jewelry designer based in Florida, where else, was inspired to make umbilical stump hobbies, hobbles. No, umbilical stump bobbles. Oh, my God.

You know, I thought I could say, you know, I couldn't bear to hear just the term umbilical stump. And now they just added a word, umbilical stump bobbles. Okay. So what am I going to go to a baseball game one day and it's going to be umbilical stump bobblehead day? Be baseball players with the, instead of their heads bobbing, their umbilical cords Bobble She said I put both stumps next to each other on the table Lightning bolt struck and I had a plan

Yeah, I'll bet a lightning bolt struck and kind of did you get a major concussion or something? And by the way, does it strike you as weird that she had both the stumps Sitting on the table before she had any idea to do jewelry? Let me read this again. I put both stumps next to each other on the table. So why did she do that? And then boom, lightning struck. And I had a plan.

So in other words, she set them out on the table like knives and forks or dinner plates or chest pieces. For whatever reason, she was holding on to umbilical stumps. Put them on the table where you, you know, I'm guessing you eat your food off of. And just sitting there. staring into the eyes of the umbilical stumps. Oh, my God, this would look great, hanging right on my cleavage. Honey, when's the next highfalutin black tie affair? I can't wait to put on my evening gown and walk through the front doors of the gala event

with a burnt chunk of our child's belly button hanging on my open chest. What the hell is going on? So after she made the stump into a necklace, she decided to do the same for other mothers wanting to hold on to their child's umbilical cord forever. Now there's another picture of a umbilical cord stump bobble or whatever the hell is. And this one, she took like a heart.

She made a silver heart or pewter heart. and glazed the umbilical stump and put it inside the heart. And I'm telling you this thing looks disgusting. I'm not against babies. I'm not against sentimental things. I'm not about motherly nurturing and connecting to your child. But this is just, it looks horrible. It looks like a cancer tumor beside an egg yolk is what it looks like.

I'm describing what I'm seeing here. It is foul. No disrespect to your creativity and you're longing to what... You ever think about just picking your child up and cuddling it? You ever think about cradling it in your arms and singing it a lullaby? Do you need to put its rotten flesh in a necklace? What the hell? I mean, do you want to attract zombies?

That's like putting a fishing lure in the water. It's like you put a dead piece of... of baby meat on your cleavage and you're just asking to be eaten by the walking dead. Ambillical stump. Must eat. Ambillical stump.

Here she has the gall to write underneath it. This beauty is on its way home. I love how the stump came out two-toned and it just fits that heart shape so well. Yeah, two-toned. Melanoma and egg yolk.

It's black and yellow and it doesn't fit the heart shape well. It looks like a big clump, like a brain tumor, and a spilled over egg yolk. This girl is dreaming, man. The silver pieces made a process called Lost Wax Casting. It costs just under $200 and can be purchased at her website. Here's the catch. Oh, here's the big selling thing. No two stumps are alike.

And the shape of each piece is entirely determined by the shape of the cord stump. Yeah, okay, human flesh does not rot conformally, okay? When human flesh and tissue rots and ferments and gets petrified, it dries up like an old piece of fruit or bacon, It's not going to take a consistent shape. I wonder if this lady's just looking for some money, man. She goes on and she says, it represents the connection between mother and child

because it's literally the fizz of connection that is between you. She said, once the stump falls off, the necklace is a symbolic way of commemorating the bond. oh yeah i mean what's next a ring with uh with juniors first poo on it oh my god that's a beautiful stone on your ring what is it um that's melvin's first shit okay um i'm not even gonna ask what that necklace is made of um i mean this is just this is ugly stuff and I like art. I appreciate artists, but this is a reach, people.

This is just not pretty. Here's another post on her Instagram. It's a heart with a moonstone next to it or something. Loving how this umbilical stump necklace came out, complete with a raw aquamarine baby's birthstone and the baby's initials. you know what aquamarines are beautiful and you put it beside a burnt umbilical stump and you're not you just lose the whole effect now it goes on to say that this lady's company isn't the only place making jewelry from often overlooked and discarded stumps

speckled milk makes a sterling silver umbilical stump ring that goes for $80. Oh, God, I knew it. Here we go. The company also makes jewelry from breast milk, hair, placenta, wedding veils, as well as pet and human ashes. Oh, my God. I mean, I knew it. I knew this was coming. You know, I joked about having the, you know,

Junior's first turd ring. Yeah, I bet that ain't far off. Yeah, how about a baby's piss diaper earrings? How about those? Oh, God. I can't tell if this is, like, legit, like someone really just loves their babies so much that they just want this.

Or is it just a cheap way of going, how can I make money on the internet? What can I do that nobody else has done? Oh, yeah, glazed baby's turns. Glaze babies' cords. Oh, God. All right. Well, I'm going to go out and, you know, buy a lucky baby's foot and put it on my key ring.

How about that? Right? Who needs a rabbit's foot anymore when I can get a lucky baby's foot. dried and hanging on my keychain. That's what I'm going to start that company right there. So if you see a bunch of one-footed babies wandering around in circles, that's me. All right. That's it.

Crazy news story. Doesn't get any worse. And, uh, God. Terrible. Hello? Hello? Hey, Harlan. is the guy that called you about the slightly overweight, beautiful mannequins in the Target store.

Anyway, now, I wanted to say why I was a little apprehensive. You know, I was outside of my work when I called you. I've got a target on my lunch break sometimes to grab a tea or whatever or something. And, yeah, it is kind of sad that I would have to be so, you know, worried about what somebody's going to do. But I've gotten in trouble before. Apparently, I guess I don't know if you know this term, but I triggered somebody at work one time because I was out of a discussion with a totally different person. And I didn't know, but the other person went upstairs to. you know

Mr. Featherstone or you know our boss and I got a good talking to and I got yelled at and all this stuff and by the other guy not the boss the boss didn't yell but anyway

yeah I mean it's funny you know you you are a little worried about things being traced back to you somehow somebody misunderstand you and they're offended and it's like you never know what people are going to do they're going to get to this violent levels of like you know, these violent

responses of like, how dare you say that kind of stuff? And then yeah, you're right. It is sad that people kind of got to be you know, a little scared about what they say. You can't just speak their minds anymore. And it's like it's annoying that I did that, but I was outside my work

and yeah, that happened to me. It literally happened to me where I got in trouble for saying something that somebody didn't like. But anyway, um, yeah, I'm glad that was a good discussion you had there.

And, yeah, I do have something to say about the flashing the headlights thing. I don't know how long this is going to record, but what is the deal? Why would you flash somebody who's speeding? I mean, they're breaking the law. Shouldn't they get caught? I don't know. I'm just giving it out perspective because some people might not like people speeding through their neighborhood. But anyway, I'd let him get caught, but, you know, all right, change how many, dude.

Well, there's a pavement pounder. We had him call earlier, and, you know, I called him out for being so, you know, apologetic for speaking and kind of watching his words and being overly cautious. worried of what people were going to think. And so he called back and relayed a story about how he really was called out at his place of work. And it's, you know, the reality is it's something we have to worry about, but it's a reality that we shouldn't have to worry about. And the only way to kind of beat it is to, you know, not let people bully you into thinking things you say are bad or wrong. You know, everyone's sensitive about everything.

You could pick any topic, and somebody somewhere might be sensitive about it. And we can't just walk around being word police and censoring ourselves and, you know, not expressing ourselves. Now, if you jump up and down and yell racist things or you are, you are like outwardly aggressive and say really mean, horrible things about a person. religion or the if they're mentally challenged or something but if you're just making a general comment or expressing yourself in a you know a regular way that's not an area where we should start walking around feeling like we're being outrageous and i think that's what's happening stuff that used to just pass oh there he goes again making that comment has now become akin to like making a racist comment or a, you know, a vile, horrible comment about something, you know.

So we got to watch it. We got to, we got to, you know, sometimes you got to call the people out who call you out and say, hey, man, chill out. You know, I'm not letting you twist what I said to, you know, to, you know, meet your agenda. You're not going to, you're not going to put your meaning on my words, okay? and so we've got to be real careful of all that because it's going to change us into a society where nobody will express themselves

or nobody will communicate or share ideas or thoughts or, you know, and we definitely don't want that, do we? So just word to the wise. Keep it civil, but at the same time, don't become, you know, don't let the world become, don't let America become like communism where we're not allowed to talk. And also on the note about what you were saying

about the flashing the headlights, you have a good point, you know. I was saying, you know, in a previous podcast, you flash your headlights to warn people that there's a cop waiting up the road with a speed trap, right? And so this pavement pounder says, well, why would you want to tip someone off who's breaking the law? Why would you want to tip someone off who's speeding through your neighborhood?

Well, you know, I hate to say it, but there's a real difference in my mind between speeding and speeding. Okay, if you're going through a 45 zone at 55, or you're going down the highway at 80 when you're supposed to be at 65. You know, that's like marginal speeding. My idea of speeding is someone like 50 miles over the limit. When you see someone just, you know, whaling through the surface streets at 60 or 70 miles an hour or whaling down the highway at 90 or 100, okay?

That's speeding. All right? And, you know, when everybody is kind of speeding through a surface street, because we all do, nobody goes 25, nobody goes 35, everyone goes 10, 15 miles an hour faster, 20 miles an hour faster, okay, and everybody does it. That's why I flash the lights and give the warning, because it's not like every now and then you see some radical speeding 20 miles over the limit. my god who is that who is that rebel so it's not like i'm trying to single out one bad dude or one bad girl who's breaking the speeding laws i mean it's it's everyone and you know how it works you when you get pulled over by a cop a lot of times you get pulled over and all the people driving around you are going the exact same speed so you're all speeding but the cop just decides to single

you out you're the unlucky one right And so that's why I kind of like the whole flashing the lights thing because it's like, really? You know, it's not like we're going indie 500 speeds through your neighborhood. Hopefully those are the guys they catch. But everyone else, it's like, come on. You don't deserve a ticket for that. We've all been a victim of that.

Are you aware that you were going 12 miles an hour over the limit? Oh, gee, really? Okay, I guess give me a ticket for $400. sorry. I'm glad I didn't hit a deer or anything, you know. So anyways, that's why I think the flashing the lights thing is good, because you're giving people that are marginally speeding a break. You're tipping them off, saving them from the chance that they might get a very expensive ticket

for doing something that they might not even be aware of. You know, casual speeders usually don't even realize they're going over the speed limit. But they're just kind of driving at what seems to be the acceptable speed. They're not maliciously speeding. They're just kind of cruising through the streets like, okay, I get it. I'm in a neighborhood. I can't be going too fast. I'll just kind of cruise.

And you rarely look at your speedometer. You just kind of respectfully go a little slower in neighborhoods and blah, blah, blah. You know what I mean. So that's why I think it's cool if people think. flash each other and warn them of the speed traps um so hey man keep it uh keep it uh cool keep it uh you know keep your your your speeding your excessive speeding uh low you don't want to hurt anybody but like i said don't don't police yourself with your language and expressing yourself this that's one of the things we give thanks for on thanksgiving in america it's probably

one of the top things we give thanks for is our freedom our freedom to express ourselves to talk to communicate and it's not always what everyone wants to hear but the good news is we're allowed to do it and i don't want us to be in a world where we're not allowed to do it because then uh that i think that just leads to worse things so give thanks for your freedom your freedom of speech your ability to uh say what you want and uh we'll end there on Thanksgiving Day. Roger, why don't we play the Thanksgiving turkey song here as we go out? Hit it.

Yeah, there we go. And I'll do some announcements here. What do we want to talk about? No more stand-up shows for the season. I'm done for 2018. I will be posting the 2019 schedule on my website, probably near the end of December, just to give you a heads up and be doing some fresh shows in the new year.

I have lots of fun, lots of laughs. So thank you to everyone who came out to my stand-up shows in 2018. Glad to put a smile on your face. We all had a great time. And very cool. Look forward to more. Don't forget, if you're at Harlow Williams.com, the holidays are coming up,

and we have a web store there with lots of cool items. We have comedy specials and t-shirts, funny t-shirts, and digital downloads and DVDs and all kinds of stuff. So if you want to make sure you get your presents on time, you should get in there and make your orders early so that you don't miss the boat on your Harland Highway gifts. And also while you're on the Harlan Highway, you can write to me. If you want to leave me an email or you can leave me a voice message like our last pavement pounder did.

The phone number is on the website to call in. And what else? Don't forget to become a premium member. If you want to hear every show we've ever done, only $20. And that's for the whole year. You get to hear every single thing, and you get to hear things ahead of everyone else. For example, we just played the new title sequence yesterday for the premium members. They got to hear it ahead of the rest of you.

The rest of you will be hearing the new title sequence for the first show of December as an early Christmas present. A brand new opening title sequence for the Harlem Highway. And that's it, man. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. Give thanks for all you have and for those all around you and things in the future, a thing you've had in the past. And from me to you and all the gang here at the Harlan Highway, a very, very happy Thanksgiving.

Again, I give thanks for all of you. So there you go. That's it. And until next time, Turkey, Chau-Ming, baby.