The Harland Highway - 971 - SASQUATCH calls the show. Landing on MARS. Letters and phone calls!

Episode Date: December 3, 2018

SASQUATCH calls the show. Landing on MARS. Letters and phone calls! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holy smokes, holy smokes, holy smokes. No, I don't smoke, and I never have smoked. Hey, welcome to the Harland Highway, everybody. This is your hostess, Harlan Williams, with the Mostis. What a show today. Towards the end of the show, we're going to get into the Harland Highway listener mailbag. We're going to be taking some of your emails or your letters that you write, and we're going to be answering your questions.

We're also going to be taking a few of your phone calls. We're going to be listening to your phone calls and answering your phone calls. And speaking of phone calls, oh, my God, this is very cool. Okay, check it out. Bigfoot, Sausquatch, Yeti, whatever you want to call them, is actually phoning the show. Okay? We're hopefully going to clear up the mystery of the Sausquatch. A real live Yeti is going to be calling in and talking to us

and telling us about his mysterious life in the forest. So you got to hang in there for that. And speaking of mysterious, how about the planet Mars? Okay, they just landed another rover on planet Mars, and I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to have some of the recordings of when it happened and how it happened and how fascinating it is. and, you know, just a really, a really cool thing.

So buckle in, everybody. We got all of it today. From Mars to the Bigfoot, this is the Harland Highway. What do you know my name? It's on the marriage certificate. I've never seen you before in all my life. Hold on to your airbag. You're heartless, heartless monsters.

All of you threw it through. You're riding down the Harland Highway. Oh, yeah! When you see a fallen stock, that means a witch has just died. You clumsy idiot? The Harland Highway. Oh, I want is to hear people say something again or to see people moving again.

I'm Floyd Bernie, a rockabilly boy. Don't you understand? You're listening to Harlan Williams. I can't be your daughter. I'm a machine. Man, you've been dead a thousand years. Why, George, I think he's got it. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harland Williams.

What's up, Doc? Mr. If you're going to lose, you're going to lose right now. Don't leave me here! 400 meters per second, it will deploy its 12-meter diameter supersonic parachute. The parachute will deploy nominally at about Mach 1.7. Okay, do you hear that? You're listening to a rover. Standing by her parachute deploy.

About to land on the planet Mars. Okay, this is something I recorded in real time was watching it on the Internet live as NASA at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Burbank, California, or Pasadena, I should say. Radio science reports, sudden changing Doppler. prepared to land. Plant stations are observing signals consistent with parachute deployed.

On planet Mars. It was super exciting. Telemetry shows parachute deployment. Radar powered on. This is all the scientists and the rocket scientists sitting in the jet propulsion laboratory,

monitoring the progress of the descending rover through the atmosphere, the Martian atmosphere, the heat plates heating up. Everyone's waiting for... We have radar activation where the radar is beginning to search for the ground. Once the radar locks on the ground and inside is about one kilometer above the surface, the lander will separate from the back show and begin terminal descent. using its 12 descent engine. So they're all sitting there. This thing's going through the atmosphere.

Some of the telecommunication stuff has shut down because of the intense heat, which is what they expected, and now they're waiting for it to come back online, and they're going to track the rover that's been in space for half a year and cost like $23 billion or something to land on Mars. So cool. Altitude convergence, the radar has locked on the ground. Yes.

Here we go. We're excited. Standing by for lander separation. Carrier interruption on Marco Alpha and Marco Browna. Wow. I mean, can you believe this? I'm watching this on the internet, live. Landers separation commanded.

Altitude 600 meters. Wow. Gravity turn, altitude 400 meters. We're getting that. 300 meters. This thing's headed towards the surface of. Mars. 200 meters.

This is so incredible. 80 meters. Wow. 60 meters. Good Lord. 50 meters. Constant velocity. 37 meters.

Sweet Christ. 30 meters. Lord. 20 meters. Baskin Robbins. 17 meters. Standing by for touchdown. Oh, my God.

This thing's about to touchdown. I'm watching this live. I'm sitting in my office on my little Apple computer, and I'm watching a. thing land on planet Mars. What the hell? How crazy is that? Wow. Touchdown confirmed Whoa, yes. Why am I excited? Wow, I'm watching people hugging and high-fiving and kissing, crying. I mean, these are smart, smart people. Planet Earth and this never gets old.

No, it doesn't. They've landed a rover on the surface of Mars. The control room just erupted. The control room just erupted. The Marcos team there. Wow. So isn't this incredible? This is the world we live in.

And this is the world that is just going to keep doing this type of stuff as we go along. This is really fat. As we get closer and closer to putting human beings on Mars, and unlocking and unearthing the mysteries of space. Lots of fist bumping going on in there. Oh, yeah, fist bumping, baby. And deservedly so. I mean, can you imagine, let's just put this.

context, ladies and gurgoblergens. Okay, what, 150, 200 years ago, which isn't a long time, we were still rolling around in covered wagons, okay? Horses, horses and cows and oxen were pulling human beings across the still fairly undiscovered America or the uninhabited or the unexplored America. You know, 250 years ago, where were we? And when you think that the planet, as far as we know, is hundreds of millions, if not billions of years old, what is 250 years? And, you know, how long has there been modern civilization? Not that long, man. And here we are going from covered wagons to I'm sitting in an office with electricity on a thing called a laptop computer that is streaming a thing called the Internet

that is bringing me live real-time footage of communication from hundreds of millions of miles away in black outer space from a Mars rover that has been calibrated to do exactly what it has been told and it's working flawlessly trillions of miles away or however far away it is. It has maneuvered through space.

It is now activated all its computer components that's instructing it to do exactly what it just did and I'm watching it on this device that someone invented in real time I mean it's just mind-boggling and here we go man I mean it's not the first rover on Mars but just to be able to watch it and hear it and experience it and see all the people and really be there while it's happening is such a mind-blower, you know? And so you've got to ask yourself, so where are we in the next 300 years? Where, you know, you're probably like, well, let's see, that would be my father turning 90,

and then if I have kids, my kids turn 90, and then their kids, my grandkids turn 90, that's almost 300 years, right? It sort of doesn't seem that long. And as I said, you know, you line that up next to the universe, and it's not even a drop in the bucket. It's less than a drop in the bucket. But you go, man, if we went from covered wagons to landing things on Mars, what the hell comes next, man?

What does 300 more years under our belt bring us? Holy jump, and I hope we survived that long to see it. And I guess I would sum this up by saying, let's never take for granted. Let's never take for granted just how smart we are and how far we've come and the incredible things we can do, things that are so almost unbelievable. I mean, think about the mechanics of taking a sailboat out into a lake on a mildly breezy day. Think about the mechanics of working the sail, working the rudder, tying things off, blah, blah, blah. You know, it can be challenging to maneuver a sailboat, which is powered by nothing more than the wind.

But you can slip up, things can go wrong, you can forget to tie a knot, you can, I mean, you know, think about just packing your car to go on a camping trip, all the things that can go wrong. And here we are with this thing, floating through space, freezing cold space, navigating through, you know, asteroid belts and space debris, and extreme temperatures, and who knows what else is up there, the gravitational pull of other planets or moons or stars. I mean, and then for all the computers and all the calibrations to work like clockwork under those adverse conditions for everything to line up and activate when it's supposed to, and all the moving pieces to bring down a rover on another distant planet like meticulously and perfectly, it's just, who are we, man?

You know, I've always said this before. When we flick a light switch, we probably don't really understand all the science and the mechanics behind just flicking on a light switch and getting light in our homes. And here we are, we can see this space stuff happening, and it's almost like, oh, yeah, okay. But no, no, not okay. It is a huge feat.

So congratulations to everyone involved. What an astonishing thing to watch. And here's to the next adventure and the discoveries to come. I guess one of the prime objectives of this new rover is that it's going to be drilling far deeper into the Mars crust, the surface of the planet, than any other rover. The other rovers kind of did, you know, surface sampling and rock collecting, and I think it had a limited capacity,

or they had limited capacity to drill down very far. But apparently this one is going to have the ability to drill down quite a, bit and analyze core samples and look for microbes that may be signs of life. Who knows what's going to come of it. So very exciting. Like I always say, that's the drag about getting old, is the idea that we're going to miss those of us that, you know, aren't going to be around in 90 years. we're going to miss all those exciting discoveries that are going to happen up there in Mars and beyond.

Is there going to be other life? Is there going to be other creatures or civilizations? Are they going to find a new substance? You know, we here on Earth, we have air, water, gas, liquid, earth, rubber, aluminum. Like we've got all these things that we're just like, oh, yeah, those are the components, the elements of Earth. But what if on another planet there's stuff that we can't even imagine? What if there's stuff that can, there's a thing you touch and it makes you invisible? Or there's a, there's a, there's a tree that you lick and it makes you turn every color of the rainbow.

There's, you know, who knows? Maybe there's, you know, I can't, you know, who knows? Maybe there's animals 200 feet tall. Maybe there's plants that eat rhinoceroses. Who knows what's up there, man? Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No?

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And I just wanted to share that with you. So there you go. Going to Mars. Oh, it's lovely. It's just lovely. Hello? Hello. Ireland, it's Chris from Halifax.

Just a quick rebuttal on the Sasquatch subject that I called about earlier. I totally agree with you. All living things, you know, leave traces and trails and waste and some indication of their presence. I grew up in a very country area that was my family was, you know, professional guides and hunters. and so I was well familiar with the wildlife in the area. I wouldn't believe that there was such a thing until I seen it. I can't deny what I've seen. And, you know, my family, they are very uncomfortable talking about it.

So, you know, I can't get much out of them. So I know they know things, but they don't want to talk about it. So that's where that stands. As far as the smoking, no, I don't smoke. I never have smoked. I'm a singer and a bass player in several bands. So that's probably what you're hearing as far as a gravelly voice sometimes. You know, if I just come back from a rehearsal or a gig or whatnot,

it gets a little bit rough. But, yeah, that's what that is, man. So I'll send you a link. I'll send you an email link to that music, and you can hear a little bit of that if you want. Other than that, that's all I had to say. Chicken Jamain, buddy, later. There he is.

Chris from Halifax had phoned in a while back, talking about asking me if I believed in the South Squyosh or the Squoosquatch or Squallywatch, however you call it. Probably not a good word for dyslexic people. You guy, over there, on the hill there, there's the squealachioch. What? That big Harry monster, the squalioch. What the hell's he saying?

It's right there. Get your cameras. The Squatchimo Lacho. What the hell is that idiot talking about? I don't know. He's got dyslexia. Harry, it's the squintzsche. Squatch.

Anyways, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the saucequatch again, and it sounds like you're convinced you saw something, and therefore, if you believe it, I believe it. I don't deny that you saw something. And in fact, I hope you did. Like I said, I want people to see this damn squouchy-washy, you know? I want to find out if it's real. But like I said before, I kind of don't, too, because if we find out it's real, humans will hunt it down like King Kong and trap it and kill it and make a spectacle out of it and probably ruin it. But I don't know why people are so, like, afraid of talking about it.

Like Chris mentioned his family, you know, they've seen it. They don't want to talk about it. They won't say what they saw. And it's like, why? Who cares? You know, if you saw something, you saw something, man. You think people are going to think you're weird because you saw something? Let them think you're weird.

What we do? Who cares? You know, many people think they've seen something in the sky or have seen a ghost or have seen something weird? So? Why are people so, you know, well, I don't want them to put me in an institution. I better not say anything. I don't want to end up in a white rubber room.

You know, sauce squash, what sauce squash? It's like, relax. Talk about it if you want to. But anyways, man, hey, Chris, I, I, I, I. I believe you. I wish there was some documentation. Now that you have your cell phone with you probably all the time or your parents do or people in your family, tell them to get some nice, clear, unshaky,

out of focus footage of the damn Sasquatch. Because I think everyone would love to see it. I think everyone would love to have the mystery answered. And as far as mysteries, thanks for clearing up the mystery about. you're smoking. I thought you had smoker's voice, but you're a singer. As far as the smoking, no, I don't smoke. I never have smoked. Okay, I just thought maybe you smoked. Are you sure you haven't ever smoked? No. No, seriously, just like one or two or three packs a day, say. No. So never, you're telling me you've never, ever, ever smoked. No. Are you absolutely sure, Chris?

I don't smoke. I never have smoked. Well, I think you do. No. Yeah, you do, Chris. Yeah, come on for sure, bro. No. Chris? No. Christopher? No. Well, I think you smoke.

I never have smoked. Okay, well, we'll leave it there. You know, whatever, dude, if you say so, you know, wink, wink, you know. Cool. Well, let's, let's move. What? No way. Oh, well, see, this should put the whole thing to ban.

is telling me we're getting a call from from Yeti from a saucequatch calling in from a pay phone at the edge of a forest behind a gas station oh my god okay well we got to take this call this this should clear everything up we have a real live saucequatch calling in oh my god well let's put it put him or her on or whatever it is, put it on, and let's clear this Bigfoot business up once and for all, okay? Put them on, Roger. Here we go, a real Sausquatch. We're finally going to clear up the mystery. Hello.

Hey, what's up, dude? Hello? Hey, what's up, dude? Bigfoot? Call me Sausquatch, bro. Call me Sausquatch. Uh, saucequatch, yes. How are you today, sir? I'm flying high, bro. I'm just tripping out, man. I am. Oh, my God. Is that a chocolate covered yellow hippopotamus, bro?

What, excuse me? Oh, man. Uh, sauce squatch, talk to us. Uh, where are you? I'm in the forest, bro. Where do you think I am, man? I mean, this is where I have. I mean, this is where I have. Bang, bro, this is my chill pad, bro. Wow, you sound pretty mellow. So you live in the forest? Yeah, that's right, man. And you know why I live in the forest, bro? Because there's trees?

Well, there is that, bro. But you know what else grows in the forest? Bushes. Magic mushrooms, bro. Holy fuck, I eat them all day long. I am tripping balls, right? right now, bro. Oh, my.

Are you telling me you're cranked up on magic mushrooms? Cranked up isn't even the word. I mean, I think I've maybe gone through the overdose door,

come out the other side, and I've musied up to the bar and asked for a refill. You know what I'm saying? Bro. What that? Wait a second. Yeah, you think I can

survive in the cold, dark, damn forest through the winter and the fall and the rain, the sleet in the snow, if I'm not totally ripped, bro? Well, so, hold on. Yeah, I've been trying to hold on for like a long time. Hold on.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is that an upside-down albino giraffe juggling? What are you talking about? Nothing. I just had another hallucination, bro. Oh, my God. I'm dripping fucking hairy balls, bro.

So you live in the deep in the forest, and the only way to cope is, according to you, to eat many, multiple, uh... Uh, bro, not many multiple, let's say, I'm a fucking grazer, bro. You know what I mean? You ever see a cow? They just got their fucking fat faces down on the grass all day long, munching and crunching. Well, us fucking squashes, bro. We just run through the fucking jungle, and that's what I call it, even though technically it's a forest, right? Okay, I guess.

And we got these long dangling arms and go right down to the forest floor, and so we just, like, splay our fingers open as we move, right? Okay. And they just kind of glide just about a millimeter over the moss on the forest floor, right? Okay. And those mushrooms just get right in between our spayed fingers, and we just pull them up. It's like watching a hay baliger in harvest season, and yes, I've watched it from the forest. I've peered out from the oak trees and watched farmers of harvesting their wheat. You know, at one time I saw a guy do it.

He was in a green tractor, but it turned into a giant pumpkin, and there was a fucking roast beef monster chasing them. Whoa, so hold on I've been trying to hold on for centuries bro me and my kind and the only way we can do it is to tweak tweak tweak okay

okay so wait a minute you guys run through the forest with your long hairy arms dangling down and as you're running you're collecting magic mushrooms I'm talking handfuls bro I mean, you should see the size of our hands. I mean, you know, have you ever seen a professional baseball player with a baseball glove?

Of course. Well, you know, that makes for a pretty big hand, right? Yeah, that kind of expands the width of the hand, the baseball glove. Yeah, we'll try like that like 50 times. I mean, us Sasquatches have monster fucking hands. I mean, we can juggle trees to hold on, bro. Oh, my God. Is that a fucking Volkswagen

Beetle covered with diamonds driving up the back of a tarantula? Are you fucking kidding me, bro? What the hell are you seeing there, Sasquatch? Oh, you mean what? Haven't I seen? Hold on. Let me turn my head the other way.

Boom! Oh, there it is. A Ferris wheel with speckled midgets, covered with juju babies, twirling around backwards, and they're head spinning around until snakes come out of their eyes. What the fuck? Yeah, that's right, bro.

We do a lot of that, too. I mean, it's like a pretty much an ongoing orgy out here in the thick, thick forest. I mean, when you'd cranked all mushroom, just about anything looks good. I mean, I got my wobble-nogger stock in a birch tree once. Can you believe it? You got what? I got my wobble-nobber stuck in a birch tree, and it was like a big owl hole or something, you know, owls like the peck holes into the trees, right?

And I just, you know, I was tripping balls, big hairy balls. I was like, man, that hole sure looks good. I think I'll go to town. All right, all right. Wow. So how many of you are there out there in the forest? Who can keep track, you know, man? I mean, there's a lot.

I mean, I see the footprints. I see the big foot footprints. And by the way, it's not a cool name, okay? Sort of racist. all right? Wait, Bigfoot is racist? Yeah, hello. I mean, you're taking a, you know, a part of our anatomy, and you're highlighting it, and you're kind of saying that's who we are. That's called identity racism. It's kind of like you ever hear that football team, the Washington Redskins, bro?

Yeah. Okay, so imagine if you're a Native American, and all of a sudden there's a football team called the Redskins, right? Well, there is one. Exactly. And I think it's racist and not cool, okay? Because, by the way, I know some Native Americans. I mean, they don't talk to them, but out of all the people in the world, they're the ones I get closest with because, you know, they're the closest to nature.

Well, I guess. So anyways, when you use the old Bigfoot moniker, that's like calling me the N-word, bro. Whoa, well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, you know, disparage you in any way. A little too late, I heard it. I heard you say Bigfoot, but whatever. I'll let it go. You know why I let it go?

Because four pine trees just came to life, and they're playing botchy ball with their underwear. Holy fuck. Are you tripping on mushrooms still? Dude, still, it never stops. I'm like a fucking Mac 18-wheeler driving through the night, through the fog, the raid and my fucking gear shift is stuck in 19th gear and I just hit a family of fucking

moose bro what the hell is going on bigfoot what did you just fucking i i i mean sauce squash no bro i fucking what you yeah what are you bro what are you what do you mean what am i what's your heritage bro i'm i'm a i'm a caucasian oh okay honky how about that fucking pale face how's that feel albino bitch wow hey hang on oh no if you're gonna call me the big if you're gonna use the b and the f word i'm coming right back at you fucking white boy hope i didn't want this to turn into a race fight here we were just trying to get information on on the reclusive saucequatch holy smokes well you know words matter i think you've heard that before words have implications

and holy fuck are you just that a fucking Chinese tortoise fucking dancing ballet dancing with a fucking manatee holy by one of them's got a chainsaw bro he just carved an ice sculpture of fucking

Rosie O'Donnell in the middle of Fort. Holy shit! What the hell is going on? I tell you bro, I'm tripping it out of this. Holy shit there's some of my bros hanging out in an oak tree up there, bro. I got a bail, bro.

It looks like... Hold on. Yeah! Yeah, I'm coming. Hold on. Oh, my God. They got a ripe crop of shrooms, bro. I got to get up there.

It is fucking on. Huh? Yeah. Oh, my God. Sounds like one of them's going to shave. One of them's going to shave their body. That's always fun. We shave with fucking porcupines, right?

They got those big yellow teeth that we kind of trim our bodies and, you know, the summer. Yeah, I'm coming, all right. What the hell are you doing? I got a boogie, bro. It was great talking to you, white honky bitch. Fuck you. Shrooms forever. What?

White honky bit? What the hell? Roger? Holy shit. What the... Good God. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Letters, oh we get letters, we get your letters every day.

Mailman, mailman, mail today. Reach right in and pull one out. Those letters, I love those letters. Let's find out what you've got to say. Oh boy! Mailman, mail today. All right, let's do some of your letters. Yes, the pavement pounder letters.

And I'm the only one in the world who has emails that actually crinkle. This is an email. This isn't like a physical letter I'm holding. This is my emails letters crinkle. That's how good they are. Let's do some letters. You guys write me at Harlan Williams.com and I let them build up. and then I read a few and we answer them.

Here's one from someone. Looks like he has three comments on this letter. Wow, a big one. This is from a guy named John Marcus, a pavement pounder. I guess he was responding to my segment about being lactose intolerant. John says, I'm shocked at your lactose intolerance. Milk squirting whores. I thought you were talking about Rosie.

but that would be homophobic. Okay. Why is it okay to hate fat dump takers? No, not Rosie. I know you were thinking that. I'm never listening to your podcast against. Again, all intolerance is wrong and bad. Don't you watch Ellen?

Can you give me Rosie's number? Please. Turkey Chow Main. Well, John sounds a little confused. He's kind of like anti-fatophobic or what? whatever, and he's also, like, kind of dumping on Rosie O'Donnell, something I would never do. I never make fun of Rosie. I don't know why anyone else would.

Thank you, John. Let's jump to your next comment here. It says, Harland, you ought to talk about this. The new laws in Canada regarding speech laws. Canada is at the forefront of anti-speech legislation. I would really like your take as a well-known Canadian. You are great at talking about those issues. Thanks, and chicken chow main.

Well, let's see, John. You know, I haven't lived in Canada for many years. That's where I'm from. I love it. I'm a Canadian first. I hate to say. But I think anyone born, wherever they're born, are that first. And I don't mean I hate to say.

I'm proud to say I'm Canadian, but I mean, those of you Americans listening, going, but I thought he was American. Well, I'm American, too, but I was Canadian first. And I think we're always home is where the heart is. And anyways, I digress. So I haven't been up in Canada for a long time living there. I've been there, but I haven't lived there. So I'm not up on the politics and the legislation so much.

But one thing I will tell you, I remember when I was living in Canada and, There was a bill passed in Quebec, the French-speaking province of Canada, called Bill 101. And this was back in the 80s, I believe, where the French government, the party Quebecois, made it illegal to speak English in certain areas. And it made it illegal to have signs in English, road signs and storefront signs. and in that situation I got it a little bit because it was a French culture as a French speaking language and I'm part French-Canadian

so I'm also sympathetic to it and here was a culture that was being kind of steamrolled by the English the English were coming in and becoming more and more dominant and the English language was starting to kind of step all over the French language And so the French people were like, hey, man, we're cool with the English, but we don't want to lose our heritage.

We don't want to lose our French roots. We don't want our language to become second to English when we're a French province. And so they enacted this law. And even though I got why they were doing it, I found it a bit harsh. So my point is, whenever you kind of try to police language, A, it's hard to do. Because how do you stop someone from speaking in a certain language or using certain words? And two, it's kind of like, you know, we're humans. We should be able to speak or talk however we want.

I mean, you know, we live in democratic countries. Canada and the U.S. are democratic countries. It's all about the freedom, baby. And so whenever I hear that the government of all entities is trying to, control the words you use or the way you talk or the things you say, it's disturbing to me. And let's be honest that there's people out there that use language that can be very highly offensive or, you know, a bad influence, or it can be hateful or it can be non-desirable. But, you know, who's to decide that, you know? if someone talks in a different language

or somebody uses words that aren't maybe the ones you'd like to hear is who decides whether those words are used. And here's my final point about it. One thing I like about people being able to say what they want, okay? If they're racist, if they're homophobic, if they're Islamophobic, if they're, If they love flowers, if they hate bees, if whatever their point of view is,

the beauty of letting people say whatever they want is you, then you know who that person is. You know what they're about. You know where they stand. And if someone's racist or somebody's evil or someone's hateful or someone's loving or someone's gay or someone's straight or someone's whatever. the way they express that is through their words and they verbalize it

and I think it outes everybody when people talk and in a way it's healthy we do hear stuff we don't like but at least we know where they stand and what happens is if you subverse people if you suppress their words if you try to contain their language then here's what happened

people become secretive. They feel shamed and they feel that they are not allowed to express themselves. And so let's say, for example, there were some people who had dark thoughts and maybe they were anti-Semitic or they hated white people

or they hated Asian people or they hated black people. And so when people don't express that and they don't, the true colors aren't shown, then what happens is secretive people start to kind of slink into the shadows, right? And when you're in the shadows, you kind of look for other people in the shadows like you. You know, and then when you're in the shadows, things are dark and they're not seen and they're hidden.

And so these groups, these hidden people could start growing and they could start planning and they could start an uprising and they could start gaining momentum and they can start a movement and they can start a cause and and it's all secretive and hidden and it can start a revolution and and it can cause anger and hatred and it can cause people to to break off into into groups and sects and and cleaks and and suddenly you've got this divided society where people are are secretly you know bad people i mean that's kind of what the clue clucks clan is you know And until they throw those white sheets over their bodies, you might not know who's a clan member. And they dwell in the shadows, and they meet in secret places.

And they, you know, they hide. They're like wolves hiding amongst the flock. And so that to me is the danger. When you start suppressing people's freedom to speak, I think you push people that might, be people you want to avoid into the shadow, and they start to find each other and collect together and form dangerous groups and create dangerous energy. So the lesser of two evils is to hear someone speak out and say things out.

Like, take Louis Farrakhan, for example. I don't know if you know Louis Farrakhan. He's a very outspoken and racist black leader. And he blatantly slams the Jews all the time. He calls them animals, and he talks about the destruction of Israel, and he blames them for things. And I'd rather, as hard as it is to hear him say that, those vile words, and to smear a race of people, the Jews,

with that horrible anti-Semitic talk, I'm happy as hell that he does it, because I want to know exactly who that scoundrel is. I want to know who that dark-hearted person is. I want to be able to identify him and label him and know where, to me, a bad person like that stands and what their point of view is because then it's all out in the open. And then you can watch that person and you can follow that person

and you can know what they represent. And that way anyone affiliated with them has to, by association, probably be of the same mindset. And then you have a group of whatever they are, anti-Semitic people out in the open, and they're not hidden, and they're exposed. And you can know to avoid them, or you can know to persecute them, or you can know to keep an eye on them so that they don't get worse. And that's just one example, Louis Farrakhan, but there's all kinds of groups like that. Like I said, the clan, there's, you know, there's all kinds of things.

And so my point is John Marcus that don't restrict people from speaking. I don't think that's healthy. I can see why they're trying to do it. It's like, oh, we live in a utopian society. We live in Pleasantville. Nobody's allowed to say anything. Hi, how are you today? Yes, everything good? Oh, everything's perfect. Yes, no. God, I'm choking up over it. But you don't want to live in that world where everything's just peaches and cream? Because that's a bullshit world. That world doesn't exist. We're human beings.

And sometimes people have differences of opinion or they don't like another person and maybe they have a valid reason. You know, who knows? I don't know. there's sometimes people just don't like each other and it's not the color of their skin it's an attitude it's they they don't like where they live they don't like the car they drive they don't like the way they part their hair i mean sometimes humans are just like that we we find reasons to disagree or not like each other and and be pissy with each other but you know let that be heard let that be seen so that we don't become all these little break off splinter groups of of of ganges And part of being a melting pot is not just the physicality of being a melting pot culture. It's not just the color of the skin or the religion. It's the words, it's the language, it's the verbalization of things. And you can't be a selective melting pot. Well, we like the Muslim people, but we don't like the way they speak.

So we want the Muslim people, but they have to speak English. And the white people, we like the white people, but we don't like the way they dress. So we want the white people in the melting pot, but let's put them in different clothing. And the Japanese people, yeah, you know, we don't like the way they stand. Let's fix their posture. So if you're going to have a melting pot, you've got to accept it all. And that includes sometimes the harshness of people's words. And so for the government to start trying to tell people what to say or think or do, I think it's a mistake.

So there you go. There's my opinion. As I said, I'm not familiar with what the Canadian government is trying to control, but my final assessment is it's a bad idea. Okay? So I don't know if that helps John Marcus, but there you go. John had one other comment John's third comment and you are right about

Whoopi Goldberg and the View Excellent observation Oh okay so yeah Recently I talked about the movie Ghost and how brilliant I thought Whoopi Goldberg was And how brilliant Whoopi was In many of our movies

Like the color purple And like just You know It seemed like a very beautiful Engaging charismatic Person with a lot of joy to give you know you could see it in her big bright smile and there there seemed to be joy in her eyes when she was acting

you can see the comedy coming out and the the art of making people laugh and laughter equals joy and I made a comment that whoopee to me is now just like a bitter angry old lady like she just she just seems to be shouting her opinions at other people trying to tell everyone how to think and feel and she's right and everyone else is wrong and she just seems angry and and and like just pent up and bitter and I don't know I just I just made the comment that I like the old Whoopi I like I like the funny carefree you know spread excuse me spread the joy Whoopi God I got all worked up from the

law thing the speech law thing um so listen whoopi can be whatever she wants. We just talked about people saying whatever the way, and Whoopi does. She's an example. She lets it rep. You know, she really speaks her mind. She really says things. And that's okay, but I guess this is an example for me where I'm glad she speaks that way

because she, you know, she's showing who she is. But in comparison, I liked the old Whoopi. And I had an impression of Whoopi as kind of this beautiful, loving, like compassionate, joyful person. and now I have the impression of kind of an angry, kind of bitter person. And so the only way I could arrive at that conclusion was by Whoopi expressing herself openly and freely and getting her words out.

So she's kind of a good example. Now, I don't hate Whoopi for it. I don't disparage Whoopi. I don't dislike Whoopi, but I liked the old version of Whoopi. I liked people that spread joy and happiness. They don't like people that necessarily are barking at me and, you know, so entrenched in their point of view that they try to make other people feel like they're wrong or stupid.

So there you go. There you go. Thank you, John Marcus. Three letters in one. Oh, my God. Listen to all that crinkling. Let's do a couple more letters while we got the mailbox open. What else we got, Raj?

Okay. Hey, here we go. This is a letter, you know, like I said, an email, but mine crinkle from Adam H. He says, hi, Harland. I wanted to send you a quick note to let you know that my son is Puppy Dog Pals' biggest fan. Oh, here we go. Puppy Dog Pals is my animated show on Disney Jr., my cartoon. His name is Hudson, and he turns three years old on New Year's Eve. I wanted to share a quick story with you about the show. We were in Hawaii just recently, staying at the Hilton Hawaiian Village, and at the hotel they have a few areas with parrots and various birds.

There was one bird in particular that became the highlight of the vacation. As we walked by, Hudson pointed to the red, blue, and green parrot and said, it's Bob's bird. Bob's bird! Bob's bird! I did the voice for that in that episode, by the way, if you can't tell. bird, Bob's bird. And just so you know, in the show, the

show was about Bob trying to find a lost parrot that he had when he was a little boy. So Adam continues, he goes, since we also watched the show with him, we immediately knew he was referring to the episode where

Bingo and Rolly search for Bob's bird and eventually track him down on the beach. Bob's bird became a sightseeing adventure for us on a daily basis and also gave us a strategy to get Hudson down to the beach. Three-year-olds can be extremely stubborn. Ha-ha, there you go. Nothing like the old Bob's bird to get them to the beach.

Adam continues, he says, I just wanted to send a thank you for creating such a great show and allowing me to win a debate with my wife that your voice was in fact that of Bob. Adam. Well, not only was my voice. that of Bob, but my voice is also one of the parrots. There's about three or four or five parrots in the episode and one of them is me. I do the

voice of Bob's bird. You can hear it when you listen to it. So see if you can pick out the parrot. That's me. Bob. And Adam sent a lovely picture of his wonderful cute little son. He's standing in some plants in his little Hawaiian

shorts. and right behind him and he's got the happiest expression on his face such a cute kid beautiful child and behind him is a sure enough is a parrot a red yellow blue

and greenish parrot Bob's bird so that's great what a great letter thank you for the picture thank you for the compliments we're right in the middle of season two and for those of you that have been asking

the Christmas episode went up last week. So if you missed it, check your DVR for the Christmas episodes. There's two of them. They're really great. One of them, the puppy pals go all the way to the North Pole to help Santa with Christmas. And in another episode, the puppies help save a melting snowman. And his name is Sir Burr, as in Burr, it's cold.

So check your DVR. for the two Puppy Dog Pals Christmas episodes. They're really great. And thank you, Adam, and your son, Hudson. Thank you, Hudson, for watching Puppie Dog Pals. We wish you a Merry Christmas, and we hope you find Bob's Bird. All right, let's do another one here. We're on a roll.

These are good, good letters. Let's do maybe one more, and then we'll get out of here. Let's see. Well, this one, this will be a throwaway, but this is from Mark, and he said, Hi, Harland, just wondering what happened to the Thanksgiving parade bit this year. My son and I listen to it every year while driving around looking at Christmas stuff. Well, I made a note of that in the last podcast that, you know, sometimes I do Thanksgiving, sometimes I do the Christmas parade.

This year we're doing the Christmas parade, okay? So that will be coming up either next week or the week after. So please hang in there for the Harland Highway Christmas parade, okay? All right, let's do one more letter. All right, here we go. This is from someone named Bernard. I like that name. Bernard.

First name, Saint. Get it? St. Bernard. Okay, let's keep going. Bernard says his subject is fires, fires. He says to me, says, Harland, I hope you are okay and outside of the fires. Harlan sneezes SARS on everyone.

God bless you, my child. Okay, interesting letter there. Bernard, St. Bernard is talking about the fires in California that just recently ravaged certain parts of the state. unbelievable damage, death, destruction. Many people died. Many homes and buildings were burnt to the ground. And it's very tragic.

It's so sad. And, you know, what's interesting is it happens every year. This is not a unique year. Every year, there are crazy wildfires in California. And every year, people lose their lives. But this was probably one of the worst ever. and I don't know if you like Donald Trump or not, but he made a comment, and I used to be in the forestry business.

I used to be a forest ranger, and I used to work in fish and wildlife and in the forestry business, and Donald Trump made a comment about the mismanagement of the forest lands in California. And from what I heard, and I have not investigated this, but Donald was talking about how that there are, are a lot of restrictions wherein they're not allowed to clear a lot of the

forest, the dead underbrush, some of the bushes. I guess it sounded like maybe there were environmentalists that were against a lot of the scrub as they call it in the bush and the dead trees and some of the fallen

foliage and all that stuff. I guess there's some kind of debate over whether they're allowed to get in there and clean up the forest floor because, you know, when a forest grows kind of wild like that, once flames land in it, it can run, it can go. So I don't have all the facts, but if in fact they are restricting the amount of clearing they're allowed to do in the forest, and by the way, I'm all about the forest over clearing it.

I'd rather see trees than parking lots, you know what I'm saying? but it sounds like maybe the forest can be cleaned up and a lot of the dead brush collected and removed so that it doesn't create fuel for a fire environment. So hopefully, you know, all those facts get cleared up and hopefully we're in a situation where they can remove a lot of that debris and in the future hopefully slow, fires down, if not stop them completely from happening.

Because as you know, dead dry brush is just like throwing a match on gasoline. I mean, that stuff just goes, man. So, you know, hopefully Donald's on the right track with this one, and they find a compromise way to keep the environmentalists and us the public happy, you know, making sure nature is protected. But at the same time, you know, cleaning it up enough that things aren't. aren't destroyed and, you know, let's face it, when homes get destroyed, forests get destroyed. Hundreds of thousands of acres of forest get burned to the ground and that's more

destructive than allowing people to go in and clean up a forest. So you got to pick your poison there. And then to the end of your letter, it says, Harlan sneezes SARS on everyone. God bless you, my child. Well, I guess my secret's out. Yeah, if I see you and you're not wearing protective goggles or a helmet, I will sneeze SARS all over you. And after I've done it, I will say, I'll look you in the eye and say, God bless you, my child.

Okay. So there you go. That's it. Raj, let's close up the mailbag. Thank you for your letters. If you want to write to me, Harlandwiliams.com, and we look at all the letters,

and we, you know, we just, put up the ones that catch our interest, and there you go. So we love hearing from you. Thank you so much, you guys, and gals for writing. Oh, and I guess I should just add that, just for clarity, I was not affected by the forest fires. I should have thrown that in there because that was your question. The fires happened north of me.

Somewhere in Malibu, and that's about an hour away from me, and then the other ones were way further up, in a place called Paradise and I have driven through that region before and it's a very beautiful region so sad but I was not directly in danger or in threat oddly enough during all the fires

there was a house fire just down the road from me I could actually see the house on fire from my place up in the hills so kind of scary But no, I was safe, I was sound, and I was not at any time in any danger. So thank you for your concern. Thank for asking.

And, Roger, let's close up the mailbag. Thank you, everybody, for writing the Harland Highway. Another letter from our listener's day. All right, I think that's a good place to close it up. Close up the mailbag and close up the mailbag. show. So starting next week, we're going to start getting very Christmassy. You know I like to Christmas it up here on the Harland Highway. So we're going to start dipping into our Christmassy stuff, which I always love to do every year. It's going to be fun getting ready

for the holidays. I'm going to put the lights up this week. I'm going to put my Christmas lights up. I'm, you know, I'm starting. I'm going to get a tree soon. Just getting in the mood, baby. Um, so very excited about that. As I said, the Christmas Day parade is coming up, the Harland Highway Parade. And, uh, and also, um, if you're getting ready for 2019 and you want to catch me doing some stand-up comedy, I've already posted a few dates at Harlow Williams.com of some of my upcoming stand-up comedy, uh, tour. So check that out. Get ahead of the curve on that.

Also, what else can I tell you? Be sure to join our premium membership. If you want to listen to every episode ever recorded, it's only $20 a year to do so. And you get special perks here and there, too. So that's cool. Also get our free app on your cell phone, the Harland Highway podcast app.

You get the 50 latest episodes for first. That's a lot of episodes. So get that. No hooks, no gimmicks, just free. Don't forget, as Christmas is coming, we do have items for sale at the Harland Highway store on Harlan Williams.com. If you want to make sure you get your present on time, try and get your order in before December 15th, okay?

We have crazy, funny t-shirts. We have movies, DVDs, we got downloads, we got... We got comedy specials. We got all kinds of stuff at Harlowyms.com in our store. So go ahead and order yourself a fun present for your loved ones today. And that's it. Oh, I just slipped into Charles Nelson Riley. That's it for today, everybody.

Happy holidays. Let's make it a good one. Thank you for being here. Tell your friends to get on the Harlan Highway. chicken chal mane and bless you my child i just had another hallucination bro oh my god i'm dripping fucking hairy balls bro no they don't smoke i never have smoked Thank you.