The Harland Highway - 974 - GEORGE MICHAEL from WHAM calls in time for Christmas. Presents from DAD!

Episode Date: December 24, 2018

GEORGE MICHAEL from WHAM calls in time for Christmas. Presents from DAD! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ho, ho, ho, and Merry Christmas, yo, yo, yo. Yes, it is Christmas Eve. We are just about to have the big day. And welcome, everybody. Welcome to the Harland Highway podcast on this most joyous of seasons. We are going to be dealing with Christmas on this show. As a matter of fact, I'm going to be talking about a present. A Christmas present from my father?

Oh, wait, you hear this story. This is a gem. Way do you hear how my dad lays down the Christmas present gauntlet? It is a keeper. Also, I'm going to debunk. I'm going to complain about a certain Christmas carol. I normally love Christmas carols. But here's one I'm kind of wiping off my list, and I'll tell you why.

It annoys the hell out of me. Listen and you'll hear about it. Also, speaking of Christmas carol singers, George Michael is calling in from heaven to talk about Christmas and what it means and how it works. Yeah, the dead pop star George Michael is calling from heaven. Wait, do you hear this? And I think he's been drinking. Oh, it's just a mess. And then at the end of the show, I'm going to sing one more Christmas carol for you to go out out of the old year and into Christmas.

There's a little bit of Elvis. So get your hair gel in. This is the Christmas Harland Highway. How do you know my name? It's on the marriage certificate. I've never seen you before in all my life. Hold on to your airbag. You're heartless, heartless monsters.

All of you through and through. You're riding down the Harland Highway. Oh yeah! When you see a fallen stock, that means a witch is just dying. You clumsy idiot? The Harland Highway. Oh, I want is to hear people say something again and to see people moving again.

I'm Floyd Bernie, the rockabilly boy. Don't you understand? You're listening to Harlan Williams. I can't be your daughter. I'm a machine. Man, you've been dead a thousand years. Why, George, I think he's got it. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams.

Eh, what's up, Doc? Mr. if you're going to lose, you're going to lose right now. Don't leave me here! Okay, hold the phone. Okay, hold the phone. Now, you know, after listening to the Harlan Highway over the years over the decades that I love me some Christmas carols you know and I love all kinds of Christmas carers I've told you how they they put me in the mood and uh you know normally every year

I just you know I listen to them I like them all for the most part and then this year this one came on turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree so So the 12 days of Christmas came on, and I caught myself while it was playing in the background while I was wrapping presents and decorating the tree and whatnot, I started to find it really irritating. I started to get really irritated about the whole countdown thing. Like, here we go. After every day, they count backwards all over again.

Right? Four turtle doves, three French hens, two dildoes, and a partridge. And I'm like, it just started grinding on me, and I'm like, whoa. And I actually caught myself turning the music down. I was like, I don't want to hear them go through, like, the countdown again. Okay? I just don't want to hear it. And then I started thinking, why didn't they just start this?

this song at 12, and count down to one. Instead of telling us at one, well, there's a 12 jays of Christmas my true love gave to me, 12 turtle doves, nine, something or other, eight, doodily do's, six, dumpty do, and then, you know, just count it down to one. And then, and then they just tell us what one is at the end. instead of telling us what one is at the beginning. Where's the tension?

Where's the drama in that? It's like, oh boy, I want to hear what number one was. What did his true love get him on day one? What could it be? What could be so magnificent? What could be so incredible that he had to buy her 12 freaking things just to get to the one? And then you just count it down really fast.

You know, maybe add a little extra music. But to go through the whole list over and over and over again, it's like I'm trapped in an insane asylum. Three French hens, two turtle doves for the 15th hundred time, and what the fuck is a turtle dove? Has anyone ever heard of a turtle dove? Is that a documented creature? Is it like a creature that swims around in the lily pads,

but it's got white wings? What is a turtle dove? And all I think of with five golden rings is onion rings. I'm sorry. And a partridge. There it is again. I already know. You don't have to tell me for the 11th time.

And by the way, you know, it's kind of a lame, like, first of all, who has a partridge? Has anyone listening ever received a partridge? A partridge as a Christmas present? Has anyone ever received a pear tree as a Christmas present? Has anyone received a partridge in a pear tree? No. Nobody's ever got that.

Nobody has ever received a partridge in a pine tree or whatever the hell is. How would you wrap it? Uh, hey, excuse me, can someone help me? wrap a tree. And by the way, there's a live bird in it. So we're going to need some pretty porous wrapping papers so we don't suffocate the little weasel. And by the way, when you're done wrapping my pine tree with a partridge in it, would you, would you mind helping me wrap 11 lords a leaping? Is that doable? And what would you even do with a partridge in a pear tree? Where do you put it? What's its function? So for the first,

time, and I don't mean to be a cramudgeoning, Mr. Scrooge, Mr. Grinch, whatever. For the first time in my life, I'm kind of over a famous traditional Christmas carol. I no longer have it in my system to tolerate partridge in a pear tree, okay? So there you go. I'm just putting it out there. And that's that. So now, speaking of Christmas and Christmas gifts, I know we're rated the eve like we're at Christmas Eve. It's tomorrow. If you're listening on Christmas Eve,

it's tomorrow. If you're not, it's already passed. But I got to bring up something that just, you know, another thing that kind of is a thorn in my side. And then we'll move on to cheerier Christmas stuff. Come on. But it's got to do with gift giving. And it's got to do with family. And specifically, it's got to do with my dad. So notoriously, my dad over my whole life and the life of my sisters and everyone else. Not great at the gifts, okay? My dad will go out and buy you something that he likes and thinks that's what you give people. Like for years, I used to get spy novels, okay?

I'd get these paperback novels spy stories that my dad read, and I don't think that I ever read one of them. And I hope I don't, if he's ever listening to this, I hope I don't break his heart. But, you know, that's on him. When you buy presents, you're supposed to think of something that the recipient likes. You don't give them what you like.

You know what I'm saying? Like, if I'm a girl and I like frilly underwear, I don't give that to my brother. Well, I like frilly underwear. He'll surely love them, you know. So my dad was never really great at giving the gifts. birthdays, Christmas, you know, just you never felt a lot of effort went into it

and never a lot of thought. Whenever he did it, it just kind of felt like, okay, thanks for figuring out who I am there, pops, right? So since I moved away to Los Angeles for many, many years, I've been, you know, I was in Canada and I moved to Los Angeles for, what, 25 years I've been here or something? So I don't know that in that 25 years, my dad has ever sent me a Christmas present. Like, you know what I mean?

It's just not in his wheelhouse, which I find a little strange and aggravating and, to be honest, a little bit hurtful. But that's my dad. That's the way he's wired. What are you going to do, right? You don't hold it against him. You're just like, you know, it'd be nice if my own dad sent me a damn present once in a while, you know. But no. And so this year, like two weeks before Christmas, I phoned my dad just to check in.

You know, my mom passed away a number of years ago, so my dad's on his own. And, you know, just before we could even get the conversation started, my dad chimed in, and he's always like, son, oh, man, I've got a conundrum, son. He calls me son all the time. And I go, what's going on, dad? He goes, oh, I don't know what to get you. for Christmas. I just, I don't know what you'd need. I can't, for the life of me, I can't think what you'd need or what you'd want. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then he goes, and you know what, even if I did come up with something, I don't know how I'd get it there on time. You know,

we're two weeks out. He's in Canada. So normally all these years, I've just let my dad skate. I'm like, don't worry about it. You don't have to give me anything, blah, blah, blah. And for some reason it just this time it caught me the wrong way it was the wrong day to say that to me and i was like i had my tree up and i'm looking at it and it's like you know i i've moved away from home i'm your only son i don't i don't live there anymore it might be nice for once in 25 years to have a damn present under the tree from my own father who brought me into this damn world so i I called him out. I called my old man out on it, right? He's like, well, for the life of me, I can't think of what you'd like or what you'd want. So I said to him, I said, Dad, and I wasn't

angry. I just said it in this same voice, I'm saying it to you. I said, Dad, if the KGB, you know, the Russian spy service, if the KGB grabbed you off the street, threw you in a small interrogation room, sat you at a table, and said, Mr. Williams, you have 20 minutes to think of five things that your son likes. 20 minutes or you're done. We off you. And my dad kind of snickered and said, okay, well, you've got a good point there. I said, yeah.

And he goes, you know, but how would I even get something there? And I said, Dad, there's a thing called FedEx. If you really wanted to get me something, you could have it here tomorrow. Tomorrow. And he's like, oh, well, you know, I think a lot of our parents that are older, they know there's things out there, but they don't believe that they work.

Like they've heard of FedExper, like, what do you mean you get something there by the next day? What kind of crazy voodoo, which talk is that? You don't get stuff to the other parts of the world the next day. What's the matter with you? But yeah, we do. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex?

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look, if you really cared, if you really wanted to get me something, you can get it here tomorrow, and I said, by the way, it sure would be nice to have something under my tree from my own dad. Like, I kind of, I kind of, you know, let them hear it, right? And so that little part of the conversation ended, and we went on, and we just started shooting the breeze about other things. And, you know, we say goodbye and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, I hung up the phone, and I'm like, good Lord. Like, you know, that whole conversation was just, about him looking for a way out. He was looking for a way to deflect.

It was looking for a way to avoid. He was looking for a way to just kind of let me know that there ain't nothing coming for his one and only son. You know? And part of me was like, oh, well, nothing new, right? I was kind of like, here we go again, nothing, right? And so I just kind of put it in the, you know, delete pile. And the next day, I'm going about my business at my house, you know, rapping presents, doing what I do.

And lo and behold, FedEx shows up at my door the next day. And I'm like, what the hell? And here's this big box from FedEx. And I'm like, oh, it's probably from someone in town. It's probably from someone at work. I look, it's from my old man. And I'm like, what the hell? Like, honestly, I was in shock.

I was in shock that he even knew how to use FedEx because my dad's one of those guys that's very reluctant to do modern things. Like to give you an example, he still does not have credit cards, okay? My dad does not own credit cards because he's afraid that, you know, he'll be tracked or there's something evil. Can you believe it? And it took forever to get him a cell phone, like took 15 years for him to sign off on a cell phone. He didn't get a laptop computer until I bought him on. I was like, enough of this. I just showed up at the house with an Apple laptop for him one day.

Brand new, out of the box. Here, get with it, old man, right? And once he had it, he loved it. He used it all the time. So anyways, I go, oh, my God, a box from FedEx from my old man. I couldn't believe it, so I opened the cardboard box. And lo and behold, inside there's two wrapped presents. with Christmas wrapping, and I'm like, what the heck?

And I look, and they're kind of big. You know, they're probably 18 inches high, you know, two of them. And I'm like, holy smokes. And then there's a, he put a card, he put like a little card on top of the presents. And I guess my dad kind of misses the point about opening a present and being surprised. But my dad put a little card, and he wrote on it, he goes, it said, uh, porcelain dolls, Laurel and Hardy, two of the masters of comedy. And I was like, oh my God, like my dad figured it out.

What's one of the things? Well, one of my interests in life is comedy. Guess what? I'm a comedic actor. I do stand up comedy. Gee, how hard was that to figure out, dad? I'm like, oh, he put the pieces together. Son does comedy.

Maybe son likes comedy. Maybe I get son something related. to comedy. So here we are, Laurel and Hardy, two of the earliest comedians ever documented. Okay, they're famous for their old silent black and white movies. And then when talkies came along, they did talkies. They were like two of the earliest biggest comedy stars on the planet. And when we were young, my parents used to sit us down as a family and we'd watch Laurel and Hardy movies. It was a fun family bonding moment. And I remember my dad just loved them. He would laugh his head off.

And I'm thinking, oh, cool. Like, I wish he didn't tell me what was in it, but then when I kind of felt the packages, I still haven't opened them. I'm going to open them at Christmas, even though I know what they are thanks to my dad. So I put them under the tree, and I'm like, wow, my dad really made the effort.

And I'm sitting there, and then something in the back of my head's going, wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on. And then all of a sudden it hit me. My dad, like 15 years ago, maybe 16 or 17, because I knew he loved Laurel and Hardy, guess what I bought him one Christmas? Guess what his son bought him on Christmas is one and only son who sat down, took the time and effort to go, what's something my father likes, what gives him enjoyment, what would be a great gift for him to open?

Oh, yeah, my dad loves Laurel and Hardy. He's always laughed at them. They brought him a lot of joy. I will go out and buy my father two porcelain, two porcelain, Laurel and Hardy dolls. Well, do you see where this is going, gang? Oh, my God. Here we go.

Sixteen years later. And all of a sudden in the mail, I get two porcelain, Laurel and Hardy dolls, which I haven't opened yet. I'm scared to open them now because guess what? You've guessed it. I think they might be the damn dolls that I gave my dad 16 years ago. And here's why.

Because my dad, I have my conversation with my dad in the late afternoon in Canada. And that Fed Xbox was at my door the next day 24 hours later. I don't think my dad went out. shopping and found himself some ceramic Laurel and Hardy dolls. I think he looked over against the wall and was, well, my one and only son does comedy. And there's some Laurel and Hardy dolls. They do comedy.

Well, they'd bingo. And by the way, my parents, God bless my mom when she was alive, they were notorious for re-gifting stuff. And so I'm not going to say with 100,000, percent certainty that my dad finally sent me a present after 25 years, and it's one that I gave him 16 years ago. All I can do is laugh. But I'll know when I open it. I'll know when I open it tomorrow on Christmas morning if my dad re-gifted me my own damn gifts, and it will just be par for the course.

So there you go I'll let you know on the next podcast And I'm going to call them on it I might even record the phone call Maybe that's what I'll do I'll put them on speakerphone And I'll bust them I'll bust them on the line

And see if he fesses up to it Oh that'd be good Let's let's plan on that Okay I'm gonna I'm gonna do it Let's see what happens But you know And here's the thing

it's a 50-50 thing. Half of me is just kind of like rolling my eyes and going, this guy doesn't get it. What is wrong with my old man? How does he not get it that when you have a kid, when you bring children in the world, that maybe it's incumbent on you to show that you're happy they're there

and you think about them and you care about them and you understand what they like and what their interests are and blah, blah, blah. Part of me is like, you know, figure that out and send gifts. And then the other half of me is like my father's attempt was so lame and so obvious and so blatant that it's making me laugh. I'm actually like laughing while I'm crying. It's like unbelievable.

So there you go. And I'll leave it there. I'll follow up with it. I'll let you know if my porcelain, Laurel, and Hardy dolls are the real deal or basically I just bought myself a present 16 years ago that's finally come home to daddy. So there you go.

My dad at Christmas. Wow. Oh, okay. We're playing at Christmas Carol, Roger? I kind of like this Christmas Carol, actually. Every year I want to hear this one. We're playing this, the George Michael. Roger.

Hello, Rudd. Roger, stop the music. What's going on? Why are you playing this? Stop the music. Sorry to interrupt. Hey, Harlan. Yeah.

George Michael, that guy from Wham is... No, no, no, no. I don't care what he's... He's not interrupted. my show. And by the way, he's dead. Okay, George Michael died. Are you telling me he's on the damn phone? He says it's urgent. I don't care what he says. I'm in the middle of a podcast here. What the hell does he want? He says he needs to talk to you. About what? He's dead for crying out loud. What the hell does he need to talk to me about? Regarding his Christmas present. Christmas,

what Christmas present? I didn't buy this guy. What the hell is going on with this guy? What is wrong with this guy god i don't know but i think he's been drinking what am i supposed to do i mean it's christmas eve for god's sake just put the guy through and let's get let's make it quick and get get him out of here god well let's get it over with hello george michael are you there Is that you? Hello, yes, it's me. Merry Christmas. Where are you calling from?

Hello, I'm in heaven. I've been dead for a number of years. Oh, God, are you, you sound a little juiced up. Are you drinking up in heaven? Well, I'm dead. What else was going to do when you're dead? I mean, you know, what am I going to do, play tidly winks, Holland? Well, I don't know if you're going to play tiddly winks, but what is all this business about you calling me about Christmas presents and whatnot? Well, I wasn't calling you about Christmas presents, Holland. I wasn't calling you about Christmas presents, Holland. called you about Christmas.

Okay, Christmas, yes. What about it? Well, I mean, what about it is right? I mean, you know, all it is, it doesn't really make sense, doesn't it really? What do you mean it doesn't make sense, George? It's George Michael. It's not just George, it's George Michael.

Like, you don't just say Christmas, you say Merry. Merry Christmas, so you say, George Michael, Holland. Good Lord, do you have the hiccups? Maybe, and maybe not. Have you been drinking? I'll say again. Maybe. Maybe not.

Good Lord. Yeah, he's up here right now. He's busy, but I can call him over there a little. Well, if you want, Holland. What do you... So what about this whole Christmas thing? Well, he doesn't really pass the smell test, doesn't it, Holland? What do you mean the smell test?

Well, you know, you ever sniff your underpants in the middle of the night, Holland? What? You ever sniff your underpants in the middle of the night? No, I haven't sniffed your underpants in the middle of the night. my underpants in the... Why would I sniff my underpants in the middle of the night, George?

It's George fighting Margo. If you don't get you right, I'm going to come down there and puke and pancake the size of a frisbee. I'm going to bake it in your fucking oven.

I'm going to bake it till it's crispy and then I'm going to throw it in your fucking face like a bar frisbee, okay? Good, get control of yourself. And what do you mean it doesn't pass the smell test? Well, I mean, there's a lot of unanswered Christmas questions on.

Oh, do I even want to go down this hole? That's what she said. What? You said you want to go down the hole. Okay. And I said that that's what she said. Stop hiccuping in my ear! I can't help it, I've been having a little gin and juice, Arland.

Why am I doing this? Because it's Christmas, and I'm dead. All right, what are your things about Christmas you don't like? Well, okay, first of all, you heard about the three wives. rent, right, Holland? Yes, the three wisemen, okay. Well, and how did the three wisemen find the baby Jesus?

They followed the star in the sky? Exactly, Holland. Why didn't they just, if they're so wise, right? Okay. If they're so fucking wise. Can you watch the language? This is a Christmas show.

If they're so fucking wise, Arlen Cut it out Eat my pussy Watch your language If they're so Fucking wise Why did they follow a star Right

And why didn't they just use the GPS On the fucking cell phones Idiot Oh my God They didn't have cell phones before Christ George It's Joe's fucking Michael I'm gonna fucking go to Walmart

Buy a bag of fucking dry dog food Fucking pull it down your fat fucking throat And turn you into a fucking collie dog With fucking diarrhea teeth What are you talking about Stop hiccuping in my face So what about you all Why didn't they just use the GPS, eh?

They didn't have GPS. What is your next question? All right, and how about this one? Why was baby Jesus, right? You know, he's the son of God. He's like, you know, God created the planet and the universe and, you know, Walmart and all that stuff, right? Okay. So if he's the son of the guy that created everything,

why did he put him in a dirty, fucking manger was fucking cow manure and goats and fucking pigs? Why didn't he put him in a nice fine hotel or something, eh? Why didn't God put baby Jesus in a hotel, a nice hotel? Yeah, like the Ritz called to the Marriott, or, you know, something, you know, little more would have room service at least than turn down service oh my because it those hotels

didn't exist back then what is wrong with you what is wrong with me if I was the fucking supreme creator right if I made the universe Ireland okay and I had a little

fucking bundle of fucking joy it's stop swearing it's baby Jesus I said If it was my fucking bundle of fucking joy. It's not a fucking bundle of fucking joy. It's the baby Lord Jesus. If I had that fucking baby and I was the fucking creator of the universe, I would have put that fucking baby in a fucking, you know,

an executive suite with a bonus room and a flat screen TV, TV, a turn down service, and fucking chocolate mint on the pillows before the baby Jesus, Lord, Holy Lamb of the ghost, son of Jesus, put his fucking end down at night, right? Stop hiccuping! Good God! Well, I'm just saying, it doesn't make sense. Well, it is what it is, okay? They had the baby Jesus in a manger, and I don't know why.

or how? Yeah, and that leads me to another thing. Who was the mother of that baby, Jesus? It was Mary. Mother Mary. Mother Mary. Right. And how did she have the baby Jesus?

It was an immaculate conception. Okay? The baby was born immaculate. Yeah, right. So let me ask you this. How come? who got a pregnant a cloud

or a tree or a fucking spit it out spit it out George it's George fucking Michael okay

if you don't get it wrong I'm gonna fucking put a gingerbread man on your forehead and fucking eat your fucking legs with fucking ketchup relish and fucking mustard all over them, eh?

Oh my God. Would you stop drinking and get to the point? Well, if she's a given, if she's having an immaculate conception, all of a sudden, she's just got a baby, right? Okay. Why isn't she doing like a magic show in Las Vegas

with David Copperfield? It's like, oh, hello, what's your name? Oh, hello, Janet from Cleveland, Ohio. Aber fighting cadabra, boom, you've got a fucking full-grown baby in your fucking womb. How about that, eh? George, that's not how it happened. It's George fucking Michael, you fucking witches of Eastwick fucking crab cake suck. It's not a magic trick.

It's not a Vegas show. I don't know how God works as miracles. Oh, but just like how you got a funny baby. Well, Abra fucking Cadabra, hey, Holland? I mean, why do we even have birth control pills, eh? Why don't you even have condoms? You know, you snap your fingers like David Copperfield, and all of a sudden you have a fucking baby.

Look, are you done here? What the hell? I can't keep going with this. I don't have the answers. You know, I don't know why Mary doesn't have stretch marks. or cesarean scars or I didn't even ask about that but now they can bring it up

why doesn't she you know what I'm just going to have to end this call because I just it's almost it's borderline insulting it's insensitive I think when we're about to celebrate

the birth of Jesus and you're asking these kind of very inappropriate questions I don't think this is right. Oh, look at you, oh, are you mighty, eh? Who made you the king of the cucumber salad, Arland? Stop with your freaking hiccups. You sound like a Komodo dragon, puking up an elk.

Well, may I want to sing a Christmas carol before we go, Ireland? Yes, sing a Christmas carol, and then I got to get on with my podcast. All right. Silent night. Holy wife. I hate you wife. I want to hire a contract killer and a shooter in the head

when she's eating fighting raspberry swell cheesecake at a fucking cheesecake factory. Round the table. waitresses stand A bullet rings through the eye and goes in her head She's fucking dead

Sleep in heavily Peace your fucking wife Hey Holland What in the name of hell was that? I don't know you said I could sing A Christmas carol Yeah you sang silent

night about my wife that I don't even have a wife getting shot by a contract killer at a cheesecake factory. Yeah, how about it? I thought it was kind of nice. I think you're hammered.

Listen, Merry Christmas. Have a great holiday. Enjoy eternity in heaven. And I hope, you know, God's there. He created everything. Ask him for the answers to all this stuff. Oh, well, why don't you get a chrysmall crumble cake, a sugar plum, and a gingerbread house, put him in the blender

and make yourself a big tall glass of fuck off Christmas. All right, I got to go, George. It's George Michael, you son of a bitch terriacchi, Satan's sucking fucking piece of shit. Oh, God, just hang up on him. What is wrong with that man? Why were we talking to a dead guy, Roger? It's Christmas Eve. God!

Almost ruined Christmas. Oh, so now you're going to rub it in and play the song. Good, okay, good. Just play it. Play the rest of the song. Next day. You gave it away This year

To save it from tears I'll give it to someone special Oh God At least George Michael left us Behind this great music You know It's hard to come up with a new Christmas Carol classic

And somehow this nut managed to do it so rest in peace George hope you're okay up there was actually despite the obnoxious aspects of it it was kind of nice to hear from you sure it was a nice little Christmas present for our listeners the pavement pounders and uh I like this part where it goes my God I thought you were somebody's somebody got me I guess I was so short to cry young god

face on a letter What am I doing? Anyways folks You know what I think we're going to forego Any like announcements Or any type of You know

You know at the end of my show I kind of plug things I make little announcements I think we'll for go that and we'll just end the show with a... You know what, Roger? Why don't I do another Christmas carol?

Normally I just do one. I did one in the last podcast. Now I'm in a singing mood. Why don't I give our listeners one last Christmas carol since it's Christmas Eve? Why don't we do another

dead singing legend? How about Elvis? Yeah. Pull up some Elvis, Roger. Special Special I'm all in a I'm all in a singing mood So I'm going to give you an extra Christmas carol

All right I'm going to sing an extra Christmas carol Just to say goodbye No announcements Fit to someone Special Rest in peace, George Michael I'm in the mood

We're not going to end with George Michael We're going to end with me singing. This is my podcast, not George Michaels. So, Roger, let me wish everybody a very, very Merry Christmas, a happy New Year. I hope you have a great celebration with your family. Are you queuing up

the Elvis? Okay, good. Well, he's doing that. Have a great Christmas. Don't forget to spread the love. Tell the ones you love, you love them. Give them a hug and a kiss and a present. And just remember, our time here on this planet is

short. There's times when It seems like we're here for a long time, but life happens quickly. So embrace it. Embrace the joyous moments, the loving moments like Christmas. And from me to you, from the bottom of my heart, a very, very merry Christmas to you all. And I'll close it up. Roger's signal to me we have the Elvis queued up. We're going to end the show with me singing some Elvis to you.

Merry Christmas and roll it, Roger. Chicken chalmayne, everybody. I'll have a blue Christmas without you. I'll be so blue just thinking about you. tree won't be the same dear if you're not here with me and when those blue snowflakes start falling that's when those blue memories start calling that's when those blue memories start calling You'll be doing all right with your Christmas of wine But I'll have a blue, blue, blue Christmas. Oh yeah, it's going to be a long, lonely Christmas without you, baby, sitting by the fireplace.

staring into my hot chocolate, dreaming of staring into your eyes. So come on home, baby, and take away my blues this Christmas, and jump into my arms. You'll be doing all right with your Christmas of wine, but I'll have a blue. Blue Blue Christmas Yeah