The Harland Highway - 979 - SPECIAL GUEST - Comedian Aaron Klieber - Ghosts, Movies, Terrorists!

Episode Date: January 28, 2019

SPECIAL GUEST - Comedian Aaron Klieber - Ghosts, Movies, Terrorists! We talk about it all! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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you're listening to Harland Williams I can't be your daughter I'm a machine Man you've been dead a thousand years Why George I think he's got it You're riding down the Harland Highway With Harland Williams What's up doc

Mr. If you're gonna lose You're gonna lose right now Don't leave me here Hey everybody, this is Harland Williams. You're rolling down the Harland Highway. And what a treat. What a tasty, terriaki treat we have today. I have a guest in the studio today.

I don't normally have guests, but this is a buddy of mine. He's a hilarious stand-up comic. He's a dad. He's a children's book author. He's an actor. He's an improviser. He's a welder. And he has a haunted house.

and we're going to talk about all of that. Aaron Clyber is here. Give him a hand. How are you, kid? Hey, pal. Haunted house. Yeah, you have a haunted house. You bought a hundred-year-old house.

It's instantly haunted whether you like it or not. Don't give me any slip. No, any house that was built in 1905 absolutely has apparitions in it. Wait, yours is 1905? So it's over 100. Yeah. How old is it? You don't even know it's so old.

Is it B.C.? Is your house B.C.? Yes, it was before Christ? It was before Jesus lived. God, that is all. Yeah. The last supper was actually there, though. No way.

It was there. He had dinner in your house. You guys didn't know that the last supper was in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania? You do have a great dining room. It is a nice dining room. That Home Depot chandelier. I mean, I could see Jesus all lit up under that. Yeah, it's 113 years old, right?

Did they have Panani brothers at the last supper? Permananti's. Yeah. That's like a famous Pittsburgh sandwich. I almost guarantee that you could buy a shirt where Jesus and the disciples are eating Permanani sandwiches. Oh, yeah. From Pittsburgh. And Pernani's trick, it's so funny, they have a little trick.

What they do is they put everything in the sandwich. So you get your coleslaw, your fries, your cup of Coke, your plate, everything's in the sandwich. Everything. They just stuff anything they can get into a bun. It's almost like, does you call it like a hurricane sandwich? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just stuff it full of crap. Yeah, that was, apparently it was because of steelworkers had to eat quickly.

Yeah. So they wanted coleslaw and fries. Oh, that's the reason? Apparently. Oh, wow. And they could put them all on one sandwich and carry it with them or make it for later and all, every, all the fixins that were, you know. Oh, the fixins. Who doesn't love the fixins?

The fixins. That's your next band. That's the name of my first daughter. The fixins. She's a U-2 movement waiting to be born. The fixins. She only performs behind chicken fence. The fixin's.

So it is haunted, right? Like, have you seen ghosts in there? I have not. But you know, you've felt them. There's got to be something there, bro. Behind a wall or under a... I have not felt real ghosts there, and that's a relief. Yeah, I guess so.

I have experienced some things before. What? Like in houses? Yeah. What? You want me to tell you? Yeah, I want to know. I'll tell you my ghost

Ghost experiences. I'm serious. These are for real. Let's hear them. Okay. Give me the best one. Well, I told these stories on my podcast, grown dad business. And, which Harlan's been on many times. When I was 13, I saw

a guy standing upstairs in my aunt's bedroom. That's real. Was it your uncle? No. Okay. Who was it? It was not. I don't. It was some guy. During night or?

day okay so it was the middle of the afternoon my aunt she owns a house out in the country and it's it was it's really old and the foundation of her house was built in the 1860s yeah um they have they've discovered things that it was a stop on the underground railroad like it's amazing huh so it's a very old house a lot of activity yeah and uh yeah i was like 13 i would go up there during the summertime yeah and i'm and i'm peeing at the toilet i'm standing at the toilet and you can see through the bedroom while standing in front of the toilet and i saw a man kind of just kind of walk out of another room upstairs come on um i couldn't i can see it plain as day like a visage of a man not a real physical man yeah it was uh this sounds so silly

describing it but i'm not kidding like it it was almost like a like a like a uh almost like how you would take a picture of somebody and put like a filter on it and it was like it was not like fuzzy it was it you could tell it wasn't supposed to be there yeah i don't know how to describe it and i don't remember seeing feet it kind of was faded away i'm not like i can be yeah like gum so it was in your aunt's bedroom yeah and was the ghost doing up its pants no okay i'm just checking the guy had a flannel shirt on and overalls and he had a tight gray beard so he was all match Yes. Most likely Amish slash lumberjack. Jebediah, like, did you, what did you do?

Did you call out to it? Did you stop peeing? You know, sometimes in the middle of a pee, you can shut it off. Like, guys can do that. I do remember, I peed on myself. Yeah, I kind of peed on myself a little bit. So that means you would have had to have gotten an erection because your penis would have had to stood up and for you to pee on yourself. If you were standing, so you got turned on by a bearded ghost, bro. No.

This is getting real sick. No, I tried to put, I tried to run out and put it away. Put what away? You know, my thing. Your meat? My, my ghost meat. Yeah. Okay.

And I ran downstairs. Well, it was still peeing. Well, no, I stopped peeing, but I got a little, I got dribbles. All over you. All over me. But you were pointing to your stomach. Well, you know, like on my Nordic region. Okay.

On my Netherlands region. Yeah, yeah. Got a little pee. You got the tundrum moist. Yeah, the Nordic tundrum moist. And I go downstairs and I tell my aunt, I'm like, there's, there's like a guy upstairs like there's like who is that and I was like it's like a like who is what is it who is that like I sure you go more like hey kid why did you piss on

yourself oh I saw a bearded guy in your bedroom yeah I said I saw a guy upstairs and my aunt was like oh I know what yeah like she knew and then and then she unloaded on how many ghosts she has seen and like my did you ever go back oh yeah Yeah, but I was horrified. Why would you go back to a haunted house? I never wanted to go upstairs. I never. Did you ever pee there again?

Yeah, I have. And I tell you what, if I went in up with that bathroom, I would close that bedroom door. Why don't you just close the goddamn bathroom door like any other normal civilized person does? You know, you deserve it for peeing with the freaking door open. And then I experienced another thing just recently. I'm not kidding. I'm not, I could not make this up. I believe you.

I believe the first one. So this was last year And my buddy was flipping an old house Okay How big was the spatula That's got to be a pretty big spatula That's the question Okay

But no I was working on the first floor Helping him do some stuff And I thought he was like standing behind me Whoa And I felt like a shadow Like I felt someone behind me Yeah And I turn around and nobody's there

And I'm like what the heck I was like I even answered like said like Hey like I was about to say something to him Because I thought he was, yeah, Donnie? Yeah. Father? Like I thought.

And I'm like, I started talking like he was right behind me. I'm like, what the? And then I start talking and I'm like, hey, John. And he's like on the third floor. And I'm like, what the hell? And then in the same house, like a week later, Harland. I couldn't make this up. I feel crazy about even saying.

Oh, I love that. This is great. I was on the third floor helping him paint. Yeah. He was at home with his kids. for a little bit. Yeah. So I showed up early to start painting, helping my buddy paint.

Yeah. And I'm painting the attic floor. Oh, never a good idea. Okay. And so... Don't even do anything in the attic. I know. Yeah.

If you see this house, you'd be like, leave now. Yeah. And who paints an attic floor? Well, it might have had this ghost coming, but keep going. It was gross wood. It was, it's not worth sanding down. Probably ghost wood. Yeah.

Ghostwood, yeah. Yeah. And when you're painting the floor, like, you can't have anything in the room. You know, it's empty. It's a clean room. It's a clean room. So I'm halfway done, and I turn around to dip my roller back in the tray, and I'm not kidding, there is a... The Ghost of Dutch Boy?

I wish it was... No, I do not wish it was a little boy named Dutch Boy. Okay, what was it? This is so weird even... Don't tell me their paint footprints across the floor. Hell no, I would have left. Holy crap. I look on the floor, and it's a couple feet away from the paint tray, which, by the way, there's nothing else in there but the paint tray and me.

A couple feet away from the paint tray On this white floor Is a half inch long cigarette ash Okay And I thought it was like Fuzz from the rug in the hallway or something And I look down and I'm like Holy shit

I'm like that's a you know That's a cigarette ash And I touch it And it's like it's a cigarette ash It smashes into a little black Wasn't like an old cocoon or something No it was it was like a cigarette ash And I'm like where did it

come from i don't smoke like what like and and i hurried up and got my rag and like wiped it off i was like freaked out i'm like what the fuck and i didn't even think about it even happening i was just like i hallucinated that yeah those are paint fumes those are my ghost stories i don't know if a cigarette ash

constitutes a ghost that's a where does that come from well i guess if you're already dead smoking's okay i just figured some like some like lady i just picture some lady debutante like you need to leave my house now Guamma or whatever. What's bat shit called?

Guava or guano. Guano. Maybe it was guano. Did you look up and see if there were bats overhead? Because that's a pasty type excrement. It was like a cigarette ash. I poked it with my finger and rubbed it on the floor and it was a cigarette ash. I don't know.

That one's a bit ambiguous. If it was like if you said it was an old piece of jewelry or, you know. That's crazy. Yeah, then I would have been like, ooh. That would be like a piece of jewelry materializing. Ash could be anything up there. I mean, sometimes when ants burrow into old wood, they create kind of a fine, like a sawdusty type of, you know,

so I don't know, that one's iffy. Okay. But if you said you saw a cigarette floating in mid-air with smoke coming out of it and a big mustache, you would have been, oh my God, it's the ghost of the Marlboro man, you know? Yeah, if you just did a floating mustache and a cigarette. Oh, sweet. I'd be like father?

I'd be like Freddie Mercury God Could be the ghost of Freddie Mercury But I believe in that stuff I believe in ghosts I think there's something There's something to it There's something

I was working recently About a year ago in a house I was helping to reno an old house And I was there alone And this is the worst type of thing This is worst I didn't see anything But I was just working

Silent House No music playing The place was gutted I'm like pulling up Old wood, I'm sweeping, I'm doing this or that. The worst thing you, even worse than seeing a ghost, I heard a little girl giggling. Oh, hell no. A little girl giggling.

Because that, like a ghost, you go, wait, what is that? You look at it, but when you hear a little girl giggling, and this was a remote house. This house was not in, no neighbors, no, like this was a house on an island. Was this in Florida? This was in Florida. And it was a house where. in the past there had been hurricanes and there had been some deaths and i heard a little girl giggling in a very quiet big empty house oh my god it was freaky dude i looked around and went and i got out of

there yeah because you're on an island there's not a playground there's no one there's nothing around it it's just one house on an island now you're just dreaming about little kids dying in hurricanes that's horrible i don't know what i was thinking but i got the hell out of there speaking a kids and family you have a family you have kids like dads are protective right you probably once you have kids you like you're thinking on a whole new level so i was everything i always wondered what it was like in this crazy world that we live in what is your go-to plan let's say you're on an airplane and all of a sudden ah la kaba like some guys like thinking i'm i'm pulling a bomb out i'm yeah what's the dad and you think and what's what's the plan do you sit there and just go let's hope we land or are you like let's roll like what's have you ever thought about your your game plan that's the kind of stuff you think of at night and have extreme terror anxiety like that that would happen to you one day yeah i mean like i obviously i i think that of most people you should say that you don't know yeah you don't know what you would do yeah you like the serious answer

Like if I was on a plane with my kids? No, not your kids, just you. Or your kids could be there, but it's just you. You're going home to the family, and you know that you're a dad. They rely on you. You don't want them to be without their father. And here's some nutbag that doesn't give a fuck. And he's about to take down the plane.

And you're sitting back, you know, three rows from the bathroom. And you're like, do I just sit here and see what happens? Or do I do what that guy did in 9-11 and say, let's roll. I think everybody thinks of that stuff. But have you? thought of it or no? Yeah, sure. I think we all think about that. What's your answer? I honestly would hope that I would do something.

Like what? I don't know what. You haven't mapped it out? No, you'd have to it's, I think saving an airplane from a terrorist is a case-by-case basis. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've thought about it. That's a deep question. I know it is. But you're a dead. I've thought of a few different

things. Would you start painting their portrait and offer them as a gift? Maybe I would seduce them with my bumpy hair legs. Excuse me. Can I paint picture for you. Hello there. This is you in heaven. No, this is one I thought of that may seem a little politically incorrect, but at this point in time, you're trying to survive, okay? Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering

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that I'll go back to you you'll know what it is but it was really cool I would without any insult to the mentally challenged I would we're both actors I would pretend

that I was mentally challenged to the point for a strategic reason so that the bombers or the terrorists would see me as a non-threatment at. So I would do kind of like the typical kind of, you know, like looking, looking like

a severely mentally challenged person and then kind of act naive, like I didn't know what they're doing. I have to go to the bathroom now. And I, you know, I'm six foot two, 200 pounds. I would wobble up the aisle like, how good they go to the bathroom? You know, like I would put it on and they would just be like, let the kid go to the bathroom. And when I got raped beside them, dude, give them 200 pounds a fucking pile driver and snap their neck for the sake of my kids and family that is not a bad idea right use your skills you're an actor i feel you're a big dude you can fucking you just wrote a movie yeah you just where well now i'm going back to the edward norton movie there's a movie edward norton did with uh marlin brando in his later years

it's a great movie it's about these guys that work at this storage facility that holds invaluable. De Niro's in it too. I think it's called the heist or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Edward Norton gets a job there as the mentally challenged janitor. And so he has keys and he infiltrates

this whole building and he knows the timing and the alarm codes and everything. And for the whole movie, he starts the movie as this. He goes, hello, good morning, Mr. Smith. I'm going to clean up in the basement now. Yeah. This is him. I'm not making fun of mentally

challenge people and and so you you see this and and at the end of the movie the last quarter of the movie you realized the whole mentally challenged thing was an act yeah and he was collecting all the information of the and then he robs the place because he know he's got the keys the codes and they all fell for it that he was mentally challenged wow but see whenever someone's mentally it throws people off so the terrorists would probably go they'd either like go you know let's this kid's annoying let's shoot them right now yeah what if they did that they could do that or they could just be this guy's an idiot like let them go you know what i mean and so you you could get right up close to them and then you know we're both big grown man just in that moment you just

grab them and snap their neck man i bet you that's something that they teach at the CIA that we don't even know about yeah like they're like okay today's lesson is character work yeah and we're going to work on characters to diffuse situations mental characters to defuse terrorists. They probably do. But here's what bothers me. You're a father with three kids and you don't have a plan. I don't.

I want you to have a plan. Well, my kids have never been on an airplane. I mean you. They don't have to be there. But if they were there, or even a movie theater or, you know, in today's world, man, you don't know where it's coming from. Now you got me thinking of through characters of like, would that character work.

Are there other characters that would work? That would really work. Yeah. Well, I'm just saying, dude, as a father, look. It happens more and more every year. You know, hijackings? No, hijackings, movie theaters. It's becoming, it used to be every 10 years we'd have one of these.

Then it was every five years. Now it's almost every week. Churches, movie theaters, malls. Seriously? Like, that's, I do think about that. Yeah. I do, like if I'm, but you got to have a plan. If I'm in a restaurant or a movie theater with my kids, I always look where I would go.

Like, where are the exits? It's weird to hear that. It's a weird thing to, you know. It's very weird, but that's the world we live. And I think about how could I utilize my belt in my pants? What could I do with my belt? I think about snapping the tray table off in the airplane. Could I use that to throw it as something to distract them?

And while they're deflecting it, you dive on them. You know what I mean? Like, you got to think about this stuff, bro. I want to see you in a movie where you're like, you're like, mental air marshal. No, you're just. I just want a comedy version. of you being like a Liam Neeson character and taken but you but you like you like you know how when things slow down for those characters yeah and they like zone in on it yeah yeah

and they see the water bottle and then they like there's a pencil yeah but then you try it and it's horribly like terrible but then it still works yeah I zone in on a squirrel and want to play with it yes and then like and you're like you eye eye up different things except that you just end up peeing on his shoes and yeah that works that works that work that work trademark, call my agent. Line it up. All right, well, I want you to think about it. Now I have all these different things.

Next time you're on a plane, I want you to sit down and just go, okay, what's my exit strategy here? What's my plan of attack? Because I hate seeing these stories. So many people are victims, you know, people crouch on the floor. And I get it, they're scared, they're terrified. But I think we live in a world now where people have to start thinking, okay, what's my proactive defense to this? idiot that just wants to end my life it's terrifying it's terrifying but that's where we are now man and you don't want to think about it all the time you don't want to but it could save your life but you

should have a could bring daddy home to the kids yeah that's you know I was going to say it's a whole other story when you have kids that's what I mean like I mean if my kids were present during an emergency like that you'd be like a mad grisly bear right I absolutely would yeah yeah absolutely would I think about that because it's a terrible thing that happens like you said all the time and you just you know you're like what if somebody came in here and like started with a gun in a restaurant or a movie theater and i would dude it sucks i went to i walked down the street to waffle house for breakfast this morning all right i saw you i passed you in the parking lot i walked down and i was sitting there and i was like

oh yeah about five months ago some kid walked into a waffle house and shot like eight people Yep. And so now I'm, I've got the steam of a waffle going up in my face, the butter's melting, and I'm looking around strategically like G.I. Joe going, okay, what's with that guy? Where's the exit door? Blah, blah, blah. Like, this is the stuff we have to deal with now. Yeah, you can't enjoy your steaming hot buttery waffles. You can enjoy it, but you've got to be ready at any second to, like, get up a motor, bro. But do you think it's a thing where, like, maybe, like, we shouldn't live in that fear too much, you know? shouldn't we shouldn't have to live in it at all but we have to how many innocent freaking people do you know those kids last year from that school just up there crying and oh my god dude so anyways anyways i'm just looking out for you bro and anyway everyone else listening like you know have a plan man yeah that's you don't think about that at often but you know because i figure if i got

that weird one about acting like mentally challenged like other people have to have clever ones too yeah you're right and again i'm not trying to make fun of mentally challenged people It's actually a means to an end for survival. That's like Deep CIA, you're thinking deep. I'm thinking deep, bro. You are. But speaking of Liam Neeson of movies, you're a movie guy. Aaron's a movie guy.

You love movies. You know a lot of movie trivia. I try to remember. So I'm going to ask you some movie questions, categories, because this will be fun. What is your favorite, all-time, sexiest movie scene? Like, like, I'm not talking porn. I'm not talking what you do at night in your room on your laptop. I'm talking, like, legit movies.

What would be one of these scenes that sticks in your mind and go, wow, that was like, when I saw that, it was like really sexy. It just like, you know what I mean? I can only think of, like, weird, weird ones or, I mean, like, or as a perverted teenager, you know? It doesn't have to be, like, like, like, sexy, like, boom. I mean, it could just be sexy, like, like, not. and a half weeks when Kim Bassinger rubs a strawberry across her lips. I mean, that's, uh, that's, and that can't be it.

You've got to come up with your own, but I'm saying it could be classy, sexy. It doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be like vile or anything, but I honestly was the first the first sex scene in a movie that like, and growing up you see all these, you know, all these sex scenes and I watch all these rated our movies. Yeah.

The one that like, this is so ridiculous. The one that made me crazy was um, uh, the movie Wild Things. Okay, yeah, with Matt Dillon. Matt Dillon, Denise Richards, and Neve Campbell. Yeah.

They have a threesome. Right. And the swimming pool, aren't they? And I'm like in high school, and I'm like, oh, my God. Yeah. Because usually movie sex, you know, you're just seeing Mel Gibson, Humpery, and Rousseau, and Leitholevin 3. You know, it's, you know, a Jean-Claude Van Damme sex scene with, you know, in hard target with

what's her name the Arquette sister Yeah, some girl's riding that big bump on his forehead Yeah His lump Can I rub on that lump Can I rub my little

Clitty on that big lump on your forehead That clitty bump I am Joclo Vandam You can absolutely So what was the scene Were they actually like in bed Having a threesome in the shadowy light There's one in the swimming pool

When they're kissing Yeah And then it's just I don't know. Maybe because I was just a horny teenager. I was just like, oh, my God. Not sexy. I was so obsessed with Denise Richards. She's so sexy. Starship troopers. Oh, yeah. Well, some women are look sexy. Some people, some women can make themselves look sexy. Some women talk sexy. Some women talk. And some women just exude sexuality. And Denise Richards, to me, was one of those girls. It just, it just comes out of them. Yeah. Angelina Jolie to me is a little bit like that.

They don't have to try. They don't have to put it on. They just, they're very presence. They kind of exude an invisible wave of sexuality. The guys that even do that. Oh, yeah, there's men that do that too. Oh, yeah. Bradley Cooper walks on the screen and hello good night.

Oh, really? I find Brad Pitts like that. Oh, he does, yeah. But let's stick with women. Can we please? I'm just trying to spread the love. Yeah. You don't think when young, young Zach Ephron or?

Can we just keep it with the girls? broke back mountain or Dave Franco he's a sexy boy on the scene now all right just staring into your eyes I know you are it's really broke back awkward but so that was that was one of the sexiest scenes in film that's I mean it's just it's a it's a it's

not a great movie but it's just obviously left that that mark that's what I you know I left that mark and stain in my life yeah oh that's stain that horrible crunchy stain crunch But do you remember a movie called Body Heat?

Yes. So there's a scene where the main actor, who's the main actor? Rich or no. Who's that Tom Barringer? No, no. He's a great actor. Oh, God, I can't believe I'm blanking. William Hurt.

William Hurt. And Kathleen Turner is in that for short. Kathleen Turner when she was hot and no disrespect. But if you see Kathleen Turner now, oh my God, I'm not even trying to be a deuce. she looks like an old homeless woman. Like, it's really rough. Yeah, she's little nuts now. She looks really rough,

whereas she used to be like the epitome of a sex symbol. Yeah, just a regal, beautiful businesswoman. Oh, just so seductive. And she exuded that sexuality we're talking about. And so there's a scene where they're having this wild, passionate affair, and it builds up through the movie, very sexual. And she's cheating on her husband, and she's driving him.

nuts on purpose. She's manipulating him. And part way through about three quarters of the way through the movie she cuts him off. And it's a hot, steamy like southern night, you know, down in Louisiana or in the bayou or something. And he

just can't take it. He's like smelling a wolf in heat. You know what I mean? So he drives through the night all the way to her mansion with the Spanish moss hanging off the trees and the crickets are tripping and the wind chimes are blowing. and he just runs up to the front door

and she's standing on the other side of the door and he smashes the door down and she just almost has an orgasm when he kicks the door in and it's like, it's so like intense. This is sexy radio right now. You're describing it. Yeah, well.

And the Spanish moths hanging off the trees. By the way, when Sharon Stone did that scene when she uncrussed Spanish moss. No, she was shaved. All right. Next genre, scariest scene. in a movie because I know you like you like damn horror movies boy I love horror movies what's like one of the scariest scenes you remember that you just went whoa so I

not just because I'm from Pittsburgh but I'm obsessed with zombies oh yeah and I the scariest scenes ever came the first one ever came from I was horrified my uncle showed me the video for thriller and yeah I know I know hold on I'm not like the other boys. Yeah. Yeah, horrifying. No, what was scary is at the end when, what's her name, Ella Mae or the girl who played the girl. Yeah, L.A.

Yeah, something like that. I really do. El-May Walton, yeah. No, I think it was, no, the scariest part is when she gets stuck in that abandoned house. Yeah, and they're punching through and he kicks down the door. And that was like being trapped in that room. wrong yeah and then he turns and looks at the camera he has the yellow eyes the wolf eyes yeah that was pretty intense but but then one of my favorite uh you know i went on to just love zombie movies and

the night of living dead george romero's night of living dead filmed in pittsburg in evans city yeah yeah where my aunt's haunted house is by the way oh i wonder if the bearded guy was in that movie maybe i know right yeah but like the same thing is like when it breaks down and you're stuck in this house and all these zombies are punching through the doors and windows, that's horrifying. That's your, yeah. That's horrifying. Yeah. Yeah. Because you feel helpless.

Yeah, that's scary. And it's scary. And it's slow. Like, they're slowly coming in there. First, the window, then the plywood, then the door, then they're just slowly getting closer. Yeah, which is why, like, I also loved, you know, my, like, Night of Living Dead and John Carpenter's Halloween. Oh, yeah. Those are the ones

that slow, like, you know, John Carpenter's music and like, the slow movement of Michael Myers. Like, remember when he peaks out of the bush at Jamie Lee Curtis? Oh, yeah, and he's standing by the clothesline and the sheets are flapping, and then you look back and he's gone. Horrifying.

Yeah, that's an art. That feeling of trapped. Yeah, and that's an art that's missing in horror movies nowadays. I 100% agree. People used to know how to just delegate it slowly. Yeah. And just let it drip, drip, drip and now it's just like everything's just boom boom boom what i threw the wall stabbed

that that's why i think that Halloween is one of the is the best horror movie of all time because john carpenter made you afraid with the camera yeah it wasn't even michael myers almost it was the way he placed the him and like you know you just see him pop out from across the street and just walk through a backyard you're like oh he's coming like i'm afraid death has come to your tiny town sheriff Donald Pleasins oh my god okay Harlan says that during

his stand up and me and five people laugh every time and I'm 100% with it that you should do it forever because if people get it it's so fun wonderful by the way I just went to see the original Halloween this year they played it at the movie

theater in Hollywood so I saw it I saw it when I was a kid the original Halloween when it came out when I was when I was like a little teenager. I went to the theater and saw it like the weekend it came out. I get jealous of stuff like that. Horrifying.

People could go see that kind of stuff in the theater and I was too young. It was scary. But then I went to see it again just like three months ago, just before Halloween. And a little bit sad, but people were laughing in parts of it because it's so, there's such dated references in some of it. But it's still a spooky, creepy movie. you know i love yeah like you know the other things though that are even even faster like uh i mean the end of texas chainsaw massacre when you're he's just the first the original yeah well he's just chasing that girl like you're just like oh my god like you want him to get away so bad that movie

was just so creepy very real feeling you know who does who does a really good job that i'm a fan of now is James Wan James Juan did Insidious 1 and 2 he did the conjuring Okay And like I think he does a really great job At using the camera to scare you

And have things in the background And like little You know he'll sit a camera And you know when it's a little off angle Like it's not balanced with the room You know something in that doorway That's the kind of stuff John Carpenter did And James Wan does that pretty well

Yeah there's still I'm not saying they're all bad But they're you know the like I noticed as watching in the in the old Halloween there was a scene where the the girls like walk out of school they walk out onto the sidewalk they walk down their street they cut walk down another street cut walked out like they follow them walking from school all the way home just talking yeah and it's like it's such a long drawn-out scene but you're like you know because I'm walking and they're talking and I'm going all the way home with them, I feel like I'm there with them.

Yeah. It's not just like leave school room and then smash cut to their house. And isn't it cool in that scene because a couple times it comes out that Michael Myers is following them. Yeah, you see the cargo by in the background. And it's out of focus and it's like that's a really, that's something that I have

not even thought of where them, that whole thing of them walking home, you have that feeling that they're being watched the whole time. And you're with them. It's really cool. You're like walking with them and looking over your show. Like there's something going on here it's kind of masterful and at one point jamie lee curtis looks over and sees him standing on out from behind a hedge yes and she looks back and he's gone i always like to always go okay good good

stuff um how about this couple more uh favorite jaw dropping scene was there ever a scene where you just want whoa like are you kidding me i can't we can't listen when i bring up this movie I don't want to spoil it Because if people haven't seen it Yeah You can't spoil it Is it new? No

Oh Have you ever seen the movie Sleepaway Camp No Is it real Yes Never heard of it in my life If you haven't seen

Sleepaway Camp What? It's a horror movie How old? It's like late 70s Early 80s What I've never heard of this? Dude

Don't look it up Okay Don't let anybody tell you what happens what's so jaw-dropping about it the ending but what was it you have to tell nobody's going to watch it you have to all right well it's only going to be spoiled for the people that you know are listening to this so the okay so the movie is this like it's about this young girl who went through the summer camp uh this little girl this very shy young girl goes to summer camp with her cousin.

Yeah. And, you know, after they get there, you know, people start dying. People start dying. And this cousin, you know, you find out that like her whole family died. So she basically takes her cousin to camp with her. And you find out at the end. Yeah.

It's a huge reveal. Okay, good. Let's be bastards. And I don't know if people were offended by this nowadays. I don't know. You find out the whole time it was a boy posing as a girl murdering people. Oh, okay.

It's a dude. Right. Dressed up like a girl, acting like a girl. And at the end, you see him naked with a knife. And it's a dude with a dick. And it still looks like a girl.

Like, you're like, what? Like you're, and then you think back through the whole movie about how he was being a creepy dude. And you're like, oh my gosh i'm wondering i might have seen this people that see it that's why never tell them because i'm like just watch it it's a good yeah campy horror movie you know slasher movie stay away camp

sleep away camp and then at the end you get that reveal and it's just i can picture it's almost like the horror version of the crying game yes absolutely yes and it's you know i don't know if you know because now you know now you could say that like well that's you know you don't want to make fun of you know, transgendered people or anything, but why not? It's just, it's a, it's a crazy twist that, you know, it has nothing to do with, you know, it's just the crazy person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like a psycho thing, a crazy person, you know. Well, a movie in the 70s was pre all the transgender flap. Right, right, right. So, okay, that's a good one. That's, who boy. All right, last one before we wrap it up. I love it.

Stupidest scene in a movie. Like, you just watched it. You know, what, are you kidding me? that can't be why why would you even shoot that oh that's a tough one that one's tough because a lot of movies have yeah there's so many stupid scenes i i will tell you right now the the the silliest stupidest movie it's another obscure one yeah you're gonna have to look it up yeah but i'll also tell you the the silliest scene that i've seen that i laughed the hardest yeah um so terrible stupid yeah terrible not funny stupid like a scene we just like why is this in this damn movie. See, that's hard. There are a lot of those like that. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot.

Like, I've seen a lot of movies where I'm just like, why is this happening? Yeah, like the last Raiders of the Lost Dark, Harrison Ford, in the refrigerator where the nuclear bomb goes off. That's a good one.

The alien skull at the end that meant nothing. No, you're absolutely right. My friends and I, we always talk about, uh, director Chris Prexta, and him and I always go about the crystal skull, but the refrigerator.

Yeah. And the gopher. And we were like, What the hell? What did you do this for? This is like a Jar Jar Binks moment. Oh, there's one right there. Jar Jar Binks.

Probably the dumbest. The more you think about it, you're like, you think of those movies. You're like, why did you put that in there? This makes no sense. Yeah, but you don't have a fave, like one that just like. Not that I can think of that annoyed me, the shit out of me. Yeah. I will say the worst movie I've ever seen that is so funny that you just like,

I can't believe someone wrote this. put this on film you have to see the movie look it up it's probably on YouTube it's called insane in the brain yeah and it's a like a like a black exploitation urban you know uh kind of in the vein of tales from the hood oh shit horror movie yeah uh about zombies that want brain okay yeah and if you don't know um rap language brain is another word for Oral pleasure. Oh, shit. So these zombies are looking for brain.

Oh, God. And when they get a victim, they jam their heads. They know they jam their zombie dicks into people's mouth and suck out their brains. And the first time I saw it. I was like, and they were like brain. And they're like, whiz. Oh, my God. And they're like, whet.

And you're just like, what the hell is that? And the whole movie's like, don't let them get your brain. Oh, my God. It's like, what? It is, it's one of those guilty pleasures that you just, it's insane in the brain. Insane in the brain. It's, it's one of the, yeah. Wow.

All right, last question before we wrap it up. If you could meet like a dream actor, dead or alive, doesn't have to be someone living today. But if you could, like, sit down and have a lunch. Yeah. with like any great actor who would that person be actor not actress that's the next question i don't get an options i don't i've picked one yeah one you only get one i have three people that i would want to sit down and eat with oh my gosh you only get one you got it you got a two hour lunch with has to be an actor this is really tough not a singer not a dan actor

who would you want to sit down with and just be in their presence asked of anything you know you I'd want to say you want someone that's like you'd want to talk to like what would you want to talk to them about right so would it be like a comedic actor that I would want to be like tell me I don't know or I don't know see these are the factors or maybe you just want to be in their presence you know what I mean it doesn't like who is someone that you're so I feel like that I could learn something off of or or just just enjoy just this is so tough man yeah because out of my top three is one it's got to be that one all right just because it would be a blast I think I would go to lunch with Bill Murray oh really oh good yeah that's a good one I don't think he would he would I just it would be a good time I think it would really would yeah my honorable mentions yeah are Steve Martin yeah and Arnold Schwarzenegger Arnold Schwarzenegger yeah okay those just are all good but i'd go with bill murray just because it'd be a blast i would have gone i would have loved to have sat down with marlin brando oh that's a good one consider probably one of the

best actors are you know harold um actress who would be the top actress you would want to sit down with this is tough yeah because it's like is it somebody's super funny a great actress like it's up to you that's really tough like who who would who would enchant you the most who would you learn from the most who would who would you who do you admire the most you just like man i just want to i honestly think that i would this sounds you know uh oh man this is tough yeah this is really tough mine you mine used to be meryl streep i think i still would but all her political bullshit lately has turned me off like i don't like actors that try to tell the rest of us

how to think and be in. So she's turned me off a lot. But talk about that a lot. I mean, just her acting ability. Like, you know, I just am so impressed by more, more older stuff than what she does now, to be honest, but she just, like,

to me, her performance in Out of Africa is such a strong, like, just you know, Out of Africa is one of my favorite soundtracks of all time. It's great. Incredible. That whole movie's great. It's so good. yeah this is a good film podcast yeah uh i would say this is tough like who do i want to hang out with for two hours yeah oh man i you know the first person came to mind was gilda

gilda radner okay that's fair because of how much and if you read like uh jean wowder's book yeah what did he say oh gosh i mean the whole last third of the book is talking about gilda being married to gilda and oh and you know him when you hear people talk about and there's there's a program on now that you know that's that's uh love gilda and just hearing a much of a of a fun bright person personality i would just love to have that lunch oh wow just knowing how amazing of a person she was yeah funny just someone you just laugh with for hours like you yeah of course man but that's interesting because bill murray is is kind of such a funny inherently funny guy too you know yeah i think because i'm just looking for somebody who's professionally just

been a silly person yeah and also a fun person good choice well they dated that's weird oh wow they dated a long time ago yeah well you're a funny person we had fun sitting here today for an hour almost right ghosts ghosts mentally challenged airline passengers zombies zombies uncles peeing all over you yeah wait up in the haunted barn yeah the haunted barn and uncle peed on me yeah we don't have to rehash it all they heard it we don't have to bring it up again but um will you give the folks a little heads up on where they can find out more about you your social media yeah anything you want to plug that's simple is is uh you could go to grown dad business dot com that's it my podcast my kids book you can i it's coming out later this year uh podcast comedy stuff yeah yeah it's all

grown dad business dot com that's where everything they can find everything if they want to pick up your album and buy it if they want to find out where you're playing yep great it's all there that's where it is man well aaron thank you for being on the harland highway what a treat you and uh what do you say we go get some waffles over at the waffle hut you got your uh you got your glock on you bro yeah and i have my my frequent waffle card let's go bro 10th one free 104 breaker nine Thank you.