The Harland Highway - 983 - PROFESSOR RUTHERFORD GRIMES talks hate crimes. Harland meets one of worlds top celebrities. Listener phone calls.
Episode Date: February 25, 2019PROFESSOR RUTHERFORD GRIMES talks hate crimes. Harland meets one of worlds top celebrities. Listener phone calls. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/lis...tener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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It's the Harland Highway.
I don't know why I did that little soft little voice, but why not?
Hey, everybody, it's Harland Williams, and you're listening to the Harlan Highway podcast.
Welcome, everybody.
What a show we have today.
Oh, my God, we're going to be taking, you know, as you know, the podcast is ending shortly in a few months.
and people are starting to call in
and leave their voice messages
and we're going to play a few today
it gets kind of emotional
it gets kind of heavy
but we talk about it
we're going to kind of do an on-air therapy session
about the podcast coming to an end
we're going to work through it together
so we got that going on
also I had a major celebrity sighting
I always like to tell you
when I bump into a giant celebrity
here in Hollywood so I had to run in
with a very lovely and charming celebrity.
I will tell you all about that encounter.
And then lastly, we're going to be talking to Professor Rutherford Grimes,
who is a professor in African-American literature, culture, social issues, everything.
And we're going to be talking about this horrible hate crime that was supposed hate crime
that was perpetrated by this actor, Jesse Moulet, the guy that's...
staged a hate crime on
himself. So we're going to get into
that. It gets heavy. This is the Harland Highway.
You know my name? It's on
the marriage certificate. I've never seen you before
all my life. Hold onto your airbag.
You're heartless, heartless
monsters. All of you, through
and through. You're riding down
the Harland Highway.
Oh, yeah!
When you see a fallen stock, that means a witch has just died.
You clumsy idiot?
The Harland Highway.
All I want is to hear people say something again and to see people moving again.
I'm Floyd Bernie, the rockabilly boy.
Don't you understand?
You're listening to Harlan Williams.
I can't be your daughter.
I'm a machine.
Man, you've been dead a thousand years.
My George, I think he's got it.
You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams.
What's up, Doc?
Mr. If you're going to lose, you're going to lose right now.
Don't leave me here!
La La La.
Raj, let's start the show with a Hollywood celebrity encounter.
Can we have some, like, exciting celebrity encounter music to kick off the show?
Okay, that's good.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay, perfect.
So as you know
Yours truly
Big Daddy I like to call myself
I live and work a lot
In well I work a lot in Hollywood
But I live in Hollywood
Or Holly Weird
And you know
I'm in the entertainment businessman
So you know I meet a lot of celebs
And I run into celebs
And laity da
So
So this week
I ran in
to one of the top-tier A-lister female movie stars
who's been kind of like at the top of the list for, I don't know,
the last 20 years maybe?
Do you want to guess who it is?
I'll give you her initials.
C.T.
Yeah, C-T, gang.
You give up?
Charlize Theron.
Or Charlize Theron.
or Shalululu, however you want to pronounce it.
And it wasn't the first time I met her, but I haven't seen her in a while.
And so let me tell you, they're doing a new Adams family movie.
An animated movie, MGM is doing a big studio feature film of the Adams family.
And I've been asked to do some voices, several voices.
on the movie.
And so I've been in doing that, and I went in this past week,
and another person doing voices on the movie is Charlize they're on.
And so, you know, sometimes our sessions overlap, or, you know,
they butt up against each other.
So she was in working, and I went in for my session, and she was still recording.
So I had to, you know, sit and watch her work for about five or ten.
minutes before my session started, I was like, uh, hello, Theron, hurry up, please. Mr. Williams is
here. Please hurry up, Charlize Theron. And, uh, and so it was fun to watch her do her voice
work, you know, because you sit in the studio and you look through the glass the same way I'm
looking at Roger right now. No offense, Roger. Nowhere near as hot as Charlize Theron. Uh, so,
So when she finished, you know, I got up, I walked into the studio, and I said to her,
I go, as I live and breathe, Charlize, they're on.
And much to my delight, she looked up and lit up and just like, oh, my God.
And she ran over and threw her arms around me and hugged me.
And it was so cool.
You know, it's funny because it's the same place that a few podcasts back,
I told you that I ran into Christopher Pratt.
And he was doing some voices on another movie.
Well, I was there doing some other stuff for the Adams family movie.
And so I told you a few podcasts back a couple of months ago
about my encounter with Christopher Pratt,
the star of Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World.
Hello.
And so it was at the same facility where I saw Charlize,
but on this time we were working on the same project.
So it was very cool, and the first thing I said to Charlize, I said,
Charlize, do you remember we met like about 15 years ago at a bar on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood?
She goes, oh, yes, I remember. It's been so long.
And so we reminisced about that.
And that was the first time I met her.
That was just when she was starting to pop.
Charlize Theron was just, she'd just kind of done one or two movies.
and she was like, everyone was going, who's that girl?
And so I got to meet her way back then,
and, you know, I haven't seen her in person since.
And she's wasted her time dating Sean Pan and Brad Pitt
and all these guys, and it was like, in, hello, I'm right here,
Charlize, they're on.
And, but it was really cool.
It was almost like no time had gone by.
And we just started chatting.
And we ended up, I don't know if the producers were getting mad,
but we ended up standing there and shooting the breeze for about almost half an hour, man.
We were just talking away and reminiscing.
And one of the things that I thought you guys might find interesting is I started asking her all about Mad Max.
You know that crazy action movie?
Because I was a fan.
I grew up watching that, right?
And the original Mad Max movies.
and so Charlize was telling me how crazy hot it was
and I guess they shot this thing out in Africa
in South Africa which by the way Charlize
Theron is from Africa I don't know if you know that or not
she was born there
and she was telling telling me how friggin hot
and crazy was and then this surprised me
she goes we were out in that crazy desert
and we were shooting and we didn't have an
ending to the movie. And I'm like, what? She goes, yeah, there was no ending. We just kind of
made it up as we went along. We had to kind of like wing it and improvise it. And I was like,
holy crap. I thought that was kind of a cool little nugget. And by the way, that's kind of the
stuff that, you know, can either really work good because you just kind of didn't think about it
and happened or it can, it can be a disaster. And now, if I'm being honest, I don't. I don't
know that the end of Mad Max was all that good. I thought it was a bit of a letdown.
If my memory serves me correct, she ended up out in the dunes with all these like women that
have been, you know, had their own tribe out in the middle of the sand dunes. And then the movie
kind of ended with her standing very empowered with all these desert women who were dirty and
they looked like they just kind of went over the wrong hill from Burning Man or something. Like I felt
like if the camera went over the next sand dune, you'd see Burning Man happening.
And in a way, it makes you mad because, you know, these movies cost so much money.
And, you know, a movie like Mad Max, the latest one with Charlize Theron, talk about an intricate movie.
I mean, the whole movie is about these elaborate car chases and explosions and motorcycle jumping.
And so to put all that effort into all that stuff,
and then go, well, we don't have an ending.
How do you guys feel today?
You guys at the food trailer,
anybody got an idea for an ending over here, guys?
Anybody know the ending to this $300 million movie
that we've been shooting for two years?
Anybody, it's just the ending.
No, it doesn't have to be much.
What?
Yeah.
Okay, so she's standing on the sand dunes.
With a bunch of dirty women from the women's tribe?
Is that what you're telling me?
I love it.
Shoot it.
Lights, action camera.
Go!
I mean, God, good Lord.
But outside of the movie, what a delightful, charming person.
Very beautiful.
She's a lot thinner than she used to be.
Not that she was ever overweight, but she was,
when I met her the first time she was kind of like just kind of that normal girl wait she's a tall woman she's probably like almost my height like I'm six almost six too she's probably I bet she's like gotta be almost six feet statue-esque beautiful cheekbones eyes she had her hair all pulled back with a little bun at the back her blonde hair a nice white sweater like a
thin white type of sweater and some beige kind of khaki pants and some black shoes.
I took note.
She's a very elegant dresser.
But now she's a little bit thinner.
She looked almost a little bit, you know, that model thin, that little, just bordering on, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Does this girl need a cheeseburger?
Do we need to curly fry this girl up?
So she was kind of like raid at the...
edge of like, don't get too thin on me now, Charlize Theron. Now, she didn't look out and healthy.
She looked beautiful, stunning, but you don't want to get so thin that you start to get a little
bony. So just a little health tip to the beautiful and charming and elegant Charlize thereon.
You look great, baby. You're right there and work it. So there you go. That's my little celebrity
brush up
and
I thought I'd share it with you.
So there you go.
Woo-hoo!
Hello.
Hello.
Hey, Arlen.
This is Frank from Chicago.
It's been a while,
brud.
I said brud, not bud.
Anyways,
I had a new baby.
I got a six-month-old
tall one around here.
And my three-year-olds
on top of that.
Uh, I've been backlogged, found out, uh, tonight that, uh, you were canceling your podcast,
that's, uh, bullshit.
Uh, I don't know why the hell you would do that.
Just wanted to express my disgust.
Uh, love you, care about you a lot, uh, separate from you and, uh, everything else I love
from time to time to take care of my family.
Um, but, uh, yeah, that's, that's a real hard hitter, man.
Just wanted to let you know.
I hope you might change your mind.
Bye.
Oh, Frankie, Frank, Frank, Frankie, Frank.
Listen, man, thank you for the call.
I hear the, you know, the disappointment in your voice.
I understand it.
Look, there's stuff that I have in life, things that I like, you know, places that I visit and habits that I have,
where I go to myself, man, if that ever stopped, I'd be really sad.
I wouldn't want that to end, but yet I know somehow eventually things end.
You know what I mean?
So as much as I don't want to let anyone down and disappoint at the same time,
I do want to keep moving on in life and creating and bringing new things.
So like I said, leave the channel open.
Every now and then I will drop something new in here,
something, you know, maybe a little, I'll do a surprise episode of the Harland Highway or something.
You just never know.
But just know also, Frank, that I am not just like hanging it up.
It's almost like, let's say you loved football or you loved football and baseball,
and I retired from football and went to baseball, or I was traded from, you know, the Dallas Cowboys,
to the Buffalo Bills, you know, I'm not giving up on creating content and media and comedy
and all the stuff that I do. No, no, no, no. What I'm kind of doing is to a certain degree,
even though I feel like I could do the Harlan Highway forever and I could keep building on it
and probably make it better and better. Just as a creative guy, I feel that, you know,
I've done it for almost 10 years I think
and I just feel like I wanted to step into something new
and so I haven't told you what it is yet
but I'm going to start dabbling in some other interesting
you know audio visual endeavors
and so hopefully you'll enjoy those
just as much as you enjoy the Harland Highway
I'm I'm a guy that likes to put a lot of work into what I do
and make it as good as I can and make it funny and make it so that you enjoy it.
And so don't despair, Frank.
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get other incarnations of yours
truly, Harlandia
Will Zamio.
And, you know,
just in this format,
I'm putting it to sleep, but I might
reemerge as a different podcast.
I might reemerge as, who
knows, but I do have some plans
in my head. I'm not letting them out
just yet because there are things that I'm
developing and formulating, but
if you leave this channel
open, when it does happen,
I will definitely inform you, and then you can get in on it and join and watch and listen
and whatever it is I do, and I'm not leaving you out in the lurch, buddy.
But thank you for your heartfelt call.
I can see that you are bummed that it's going away,
and that tells me that you must have really enjoyed it and cared about it.
So I appreciate all the time you've been listening,
and I'm glad it brought you some happiness and laughter, I hope.
And don't give up on me, buddy, okay?
Let's take a few more of these calls because people have been calling in.
They're, you know, understandably upset that the highway is being shut down.
But, Rod, let's play another despondent call.
Hey, Hartman.
This is Old Hill Billy Luke's Doer from down in Alabama.
and I just wanted to convey how disappointed I am that the Harlan Highway is coming to an end.
You're a very great podcaster and really love all the different characters that you have on the show,
and I'm very, very sad to hear about you shutting down the old highway.
I've been listening now for years and really, really sad about this.
podcaster myself and I've been podcasting for about four years and I get about 35 listeners
and I'm not very good at it and you were always inspiring for me to get better at it
so my listeners are also going to suffer on the count of you stopping podcasting just wanted to
throw that out there buddy I hope you do well whatever you do in the future though and keep
doing your comedy.
You're unhilarious.
You're unhilarious.
I don't think that's what I'm meant to say.
You are hilarious.
Funny, funny guy.
Anyway, take care, buddy.
Thanks for all the great episodes.
Well, you're welcome, Hillbilly Luchador.
I think that's how you pronounced it.
It's kind of like a French-Canadian hillbilly.
Hillbilly Luscedor.
I hope I'm saying that right,
but I think I got hillbilly right at least.
The luchador part was a little, I don't know.
That one, I don't know if I heard it correctly,
but apologies if I mangled your beautiful name.
But thank you, again, another disappointed fan.
I get it.
I feel bad, but, you know, as you said at the end,
thanks for all the episodes.
And here's the kicker gang.
I'm leaving them all up there.
okay i'm leaving a thousand episodes up there for you to listen to so if there's if there's years
that you didn't hear the harland highway if you jumped on four years in or six years in or
eight years in you've got years and years of the harland highway to listen to still and just so you
know unlike a lot of podcasters when i started out probably the first i don't know
maybe the first four or five years,
maybe longer.
I did three episodes a week.
Three.
One's a ton of work,
but I was doing three.
And so, you know,
then I went down to two,
and then I'm at one,
and now I'm done.
But there's a lot of episodes.
And I think you'll find that they're fairly timeless.
One of the things I strive for
is to not make,
stuff too time topical. I do do some podcast where I reference an event that happened, but
I'd say 85% of all the material I did in the podcast. I tried to keep it like time neutral,
so you couldn't pinpoint it to a news event or anything like that. And so you can go back
and listen to all the episodes and, you know, they won't feel like they're old. And so for those of you
that are like, oh, no, there's no new ones.
Well, I dare say the old ones are just as good as the new ones.
Maybe some of them are even better.
Who knows?
So I'm not taking them down.
They're up there.
And you can go back 50, and if you want to listen to the whole library, it's only $20.
You've become a premium member, and it's only $20 damn dollars for, like, years and years
worth of podcast episodes.
And all of them are crazy and have all the characters that you love, my hillbilly friend.
You know, Cinnamon Boy and Dr. Debbie.
I mean, there's characters that I kind of just did one-offs.
Maybe I did them once or twice.
You'll see how I evolved into new characters.
You'll see how I let some characters go.
Maybe brought them back years later.
I mean, there's a whole, like, history in there.
There's a whole library of Harlan Highways.
So if you're really missing it, I mean, there's so many episodes,
you can probably go back to the beginning and listen all over again
and not remember a lot of this stuff, and it will seem like a new episode.
So again, thank you, Mr. Hillbilly, for being a fan, for listening.
I'm excited that you're a podcaster.
I wish you had told me the name of your podcast.
I would have mentioned it
and given it a little plug to everybody
so they could listen to your podcast.
But, and it warms my heart that, as you said,
I was able to influence you or be an inspiration to you.
I mean, that's the real gravy of doing all this.
I mean, the main objective was to just get you guys
to be laughing and entertain you.
But if the second wave of,
fulfillment from this is that people were inspired or they got something more meaningful than
just the entertainment value from it. That's beautiful, man. I really, that feels good to me.
So I'm glad that happened for you. And thank you so much for being a fan of riding down the
highway with me all these years. You know what, Rodge, let's take one more. I don't want the
whole podcast to be like a Debbie Downer. I mean, while we listen,
and the people's disappointment, I think we should also remember we're celebrating all this
funny, crazy stuff that's on the Harland Highway. So I don't want everyone to be like,
oh, God, and crying in the, but let's take one more call and then, you know, I think it's important
that, you know, this is, this is kind of a way for people to, you know, ramp up to the highway
ending. That's why I'm doing this. A lot of times, like TV shows, they just end them. They're like,
yeah, that's the last season of this.
You know, or it's just done
Or someone gets fired at a radio
Your favorite DJ
Yeah, so-and-so's gone
Oh, wait, what?
I listened to it for 12 years
So the reason I'm playing these messages
And letting you get
It's kind of like therapy, maybe
You know, and I know I shouldn't say that too loud
Because next thing, you know, Dr. Ascott will be coming in
But it's just a way for us to talk
And kind of let it go easily
And I know it's emotional for some
and Roger tells me this next call is a little more emotional than the others.
So let's play it and let's just deal with it.
And then on the other side of this call,
let's get back to the fun and frolic of the freaky fracken highway.
Go ahead, Roger.
Hello, Harlan.
This is Debbie from Arizona.
I used to call every so often and ask for Aunt Ruthie.
And I just heard the podcast where you're ending your show,
and I just want to say, I'm really, God damn it.
This is so upsetting to me.
I really hate that you're leaving.
Yeah, there's a lot of podcasts, but there's not like yours.
And I know I'm not the only one that's going to really, really miss your lightheartedness
and the joy you can bring in a horrible world.
And I wish you would reconsider, but I know.
I understand it's hard and whatever, but I just want you to know,
I love you, and I'm going to really miss your podcast.
Bye.
Whoa.
Well, now, Debbie, if there's any, if there's any voicemail that could make me change my mind,
this one probably came the closest.
I mean, man, oh, man, talk about heartfelt.
It kind of made me emotional hearing her well up like that.
It's like we've spent a lot of time together.
And, you know, that's the part that I don't get to know or see.
You know, I sit behind the microphone and I like, I do all this crazy stuff.
I say all these things.
I sing these songs.
I voice my opinions and my ideas.
And I'm kind of in a bit of a bubble and I put it out there, you know, thinking and wondering, does it, does it resonate?
Does it mean anything to people?
Does it have any substance?
Does it, does it add to their lives?
Does it subtract from their lives?
Does it make them mad?
Does it make them happy?
Do they think I'm an idiot?
Do they think I'm smart?
Do they think I'm somewhere in between?
I don't know.
And so that was the beauty of podcasting for me
is that I got to just put it all out there, you know?
Throw it all out there.
And, you know, I tried to do a podcast where on one moment it's funny and ridiculous
and almost infantile and borderline,
I want to shut this off because this guy sounds like a giant two-year-old idiot.
And then in the next breath, I felt like I was sharing with you my deepest thoughts about life
and perceptions of life and the afterlife and spirituality and, you know, all kinds of things.
And what's interesting is I don't know what that means to people.
And I just had to assume, I had to assume that, okay, these are words.
I'm communicating words.
They're going out on the airwaves.
They're going into people's ears, into their brains,
and they're going to interpret them as they will,
and do with them what they will.
And, but it's really weird.
Once you hit the send button on your podcast,
it's like pushing a kid off to school.
You don't know what happens after they go in the door at the school.
It's like, that's my baby.
There goes my baby.
He's going through the door, and the door just closed.
and I've lost them for the day
I'll see him tonight
but I've lost them for the day
you know what I mean
it's just like it's a
but the thing with my podcast
is they don't come home at the end of the day
they just go out into the universe
and they float and they sit
and they land
and they get deleted and they get
saved and who knows what happens to them
and so
when I hear the emotion
when I hear the tears when I hear you choking
up, it tells me that, you know, whatever I was doing on certain days or said were impactful
to you, and they resonated and became part of your life in a way.
And it does hurt to hear you emotional and upset, and part of me just wants to go,
well, I don't want that.
I'm going to keep going.
I don't want that person to be hurting.
But what I'm going to do is I'm going to balance out the hurting that you're having now,
which is palatable.
But I'm going to balance it against hopefully all the hours of joy
that hopefully a thousand episodes of the Harlan Highway brought you.
And I'm going to go, I hope that big pile of podcast far outweighs
the kind of pain you're feeling now, okay?
And boy, it moves my heart to know that, you know,
that this meant so much to you that it would make you well up like that.
And it hurt me a bit to hear you say in this horrible world.
And I hope that you don't think it's a horrible world.
There are things that happen in this world,
and there are moments, and there are events,
and people that can make it a horrible world.
But, you know, part of my podcast, too, and I think you guessed it when you said that, is I put the podcast out there to also make the world not so horrible.
I put it out there and, for the most part, kept it light and fun and silly and wanted to be a place that you guys can come and just shut off all the madness.
You know what I mean?
Like just like, oh, God, let me hear Camp Fire Timmy saying.
Let me hear Dr. Ascot.
Let me hear Commander Tom Corporal Dowdy, you know.
Like, I was just hoping that this podcast could, you know, soften the blows of the sometimes horrible world.
But don't think it's a horrible world.
You know, it's you have to look for the good.
You have to rise above the bad.
When you think about it, the only thing that makes the world horrible,
Remember this.
The planet Earth is a huge, huge, huge, huge, vast piece of real estate.
Okay?
And when you say world, you're encapsulating the whole planet.
But think about it.
Do the oceans make you mad?
Are the oceans horrible?
Are the trees horrible?
Are the ladybugs horrible?
Are the squirrels in your tree horrible?
Are the bears in the forest horrible?
Are the dragonflies on the lily pads horrible?
Is the wind through the palm trees?
No.
The only thing on this world, as you put it,
that can make you feel horrible is people.
Nothing else can make you feel horrible,
unless maybe you step on a pine needle and it hurts.
But the beauty of that is it's unintentional.
unintentional. There's no malice. There's no cruelty. And humans, unfortunately, can be cruel and
hurtful. And humans are what can make the world horrible. But I'm going to do the balancing game
again with you, my love. You have to balance out kind of like what I did earlier. The sad part of
the Harland Highway ending are all the mountains of pleasure you got from a thousand episodes. So look at
the world in the same way and go, are most of the people in the world horrible? Or are most of the
people in the world good and decent and want to be nice and kind and charitable and loving to
other people? And the answer, fortunately, is yes, most of us are on the mountain of loving
human beings, right? But sometimes when we look through the world through the prism of
media or through social media or through television or through the news.
Unfortunately, we're often fed the horrible aspects of humanity, and so it can become
really compacted.
And when you see something in quick sound bites and all squish together and compressed
and throwing at you and bombarded at you, and you hear about it and see all these
bad things that horrible things that people do well it can start to make you paint the world as
that place but let me invite you to go to a world where tv doesn't exist a human a man-made device
let me transport you to a world where your cell phone doesn't exist and radio and just imagine
if you woke up every day and all you knew was your immediate surroundings and the other
people around you, the people on your street, the people in your community.
Hello, Mr. Smith. Good morning, Mrs. Johnson. I'm going down to the bakery to get some donuts.
Can I get you a blueberry muffin? You know what I mean? The world is actually full of
of a simplicity and a love and a unity and a togetherness that humans have to have.
we have to have it despite all the wars and the cruelty and the hate crimes and whatever else is out there
they pale in comparison to all the mountains of good and love and unity and togetherness that
we have to have you know we we would all die if we didn't have that and i think people
deep-rooted primally understand that okay
And the wars and the death and the suffering and the ravaging and the pillaging, it happens.
But it always only happens for a while and it comes to an end because it can't sustain or we would eradicate ourselves as a species.
But you know what sustains? You know what keeps on going?
You know what prevails?
Love, compassion, togetherness.
And so I just urge you, I could hear it in your voice,
not to have a view of the world that it's a horrible world.
And I know you probably don't mean that.
I don't think you wake up every day and open your door and go,
Oh my God, I'm in the gates of hell.
But what I'm saying is don't let mankind,
don't let human influence make you think that this beautiful, wonderful planet
is a horrible place.
Separate the horrible deeds and the horrible people
that can make life unbearable sometimes
and feel overwhelmingly horrible.
But take the time to separate.
I always say whenever you get overwhelmed like that,
just stop what you're doing and go outside
and sit in your garden.
Or lay on your back and stare at some clouds.
Go and find a, watch seven ants crawling along the ground.
Really, it sounds silly, but it's that simple.
Just watch a bunch of ants going in and out of their hole.
Watch a ladybug crawl up the stem of a flower.
Watch a flower blowing back and forth gently in the breeze.
Something that just takes you back to what the real world is,
the reality, the real world without all the hatred and the bad stuff.
And it's almost like a little, you know, injection of refreshment and an injection of what's true and real in the world.
And it helps you forget, it helps you forget that man, humans run and control everything.
We've created this illusion that we do, but we're just these, we're like fleas on the back of a dog.
We walk around pretending we control the dog, but we don't.
The dog moves around on its own.
The dog is much bigger and greater than us.
We can bite on its back and suck a little blood and irritate the world,
but we can never control the world.
We can never dominate the world.
It's its own big, giant force.
And so just remember that.
And I hope those words help.
I know I kind of got carried away there.
I got a little, you know, I did exactly what I was talking about.
Sometimes I get a little deep and share, maybe share too much.
I don't know.
But I don't like to hear the pain in your voice.
Makes me sad.
So I hope that cheered you up a little.
And thank you so much.
You always used to call, and I think I even put you in a couple of my intros.
It's like, I love you.
It was just, you have the cutest voice, and the love was felt.
And I hope you feel the love back.
And like I said, I'm not going away forever.
There's going to be other stuff coming up.
So stay tuned and you'll get to enjoy and have more laughter and fun stuff coming your way very soon.
Okay?
So there we go, Rods.
Let's put the phone calls away for a bit.
We'll probably play a few more as we climb closer to the end just so we can talk through this stuff.
It's, like I said, it's kind of heavier than you think, right?
You think, oh, I'm going to sign up to a goofy little podcast, too, oh, that guy's crazy,
oh, that guy's funny, but then you kind of get emotionally dug in.
And just so you know, I'm emotionally dug in, too.
That's why this exercise in me talking here is to talk me down from my podcast.
Believe me, after nine years of doing this, it's not like I can just turn the button off and go,
well, that was fun.
like I'm emotionally connected to you guys
the way you've emotionally connected to what I do
and it's not easy for me to do it too
but as I say it's I feel like
personally creatively it's run its course
and it's time for something fresh
and we'll see what happens
so there you go
so let's get back to the
before I become the real doctor ascot
good Lord Roger you should have stopped me
but thank you all for your calls
and I hope that helps
but let's get back to what we do best here
and just be goofy and crazy
and Roger what are we got
is there anything
can we switch gears here
and what?
Oh oh oh oh okay
now this is a topical thing
now you've all heard about this guy in
Chicago this nutty actors
Speaking of actors, this is an actor, I told you I met Charlize Theron.
Well, this is an actor I don't want to ever meet because this guy is a, in my mind, a douchebag.
This so-and-so Jolette, this guy that staged the phony racist hate crime attack on himself in Chicago,
an African-American gay actor man
who perpetrated this horrible hoax
not just on his friends and his family and his community
but the whole country
he tried to
kind of paint a whole half of the country
who likes a certain president
he tried to paint
everyone who likes him as a horrible racist, you know, lynching hate crime, a bunch of people.
It's just very disturbing.
And I don't know why I always have to say this, but people get such a bug up their butt.
But if it happened from the other side, I would say the exact same thing.
if someone who was a fan of who hated Barack Obama
tried to do this and make it look like all Democrats were racist
and hated black people I would be sick to my stomach
I'd say everything I'm saying now
anytime you do this kind of self-serving horrible
self-indulgent deed it's just oh it is it is vile and evil
and unacceptable, and I think we all concur.
I think, can we not all agree on this one, at least?
You just don't do this stuff, man.
And this plays into what Debbie was saying about, you know, the horrible world.
These are the kind of deeds that human beings do, but it's one guy.
One guy, and he kind of made the whole country feel like ass.
It's like, ooh, wow, really?
like people put a noose around your neck
and tried to beat you and slander you
and oh my God like you know these are the things
where you do want to go what a horrible world we live in
but we have to rise above and
and I'm not a psychologist I don't know why this guy did this
I don't know why but Roger's telling me that
a gentleman who is knowledgeable in this universe
who does understand culture
and especially black culture, right?
Roger, Dr. Professor Rutherford Grimes is on the phone,
and he's calling in to kind of do a little grief counseling for us,
because I think we're all reeling from this event.
And so Dr. Rutherford Grimes is a sociologist.
He studies, he does urban studies, especially in the black communities.
He's an African-American professor up at Berkeley.
He studied African-American culture.
he studied African-American economics, he's politics, I mean, everything, he's just submerged.
That's what his degree is in, is studying the African-American experience, and rather than me drolling on about it.
We have the professor on the line, and he's going to kind of give us his educated take on why this happened and why it would happen and how it happened and yada, yada, yada.
So without further ado, is he ready to go?
Roger just gave me the thumbs up.
Let's get him on the line talking about the Jesse Millett hate crime hoax.
And here he is Professor Rutherford Grimes from Berkeley in Northern California.
Go ahead, Professor.
You're on the air.
Yeah, hello.
Yes, Professor Harland Williams here.
Thank you for calling in, sir.
Uh, yeah, Mr. William, how are you today, sir?
Uh, we're doing great. We're all a little saddened and, and, and baffled by this, this selfish, uh, event that unfolded in Chicago.
This Jesse Malay guy, or however you say his name, uh, obviously perpetrated this, uh, horrible, uh, offensive hoax on all of us.
Every race, color, creed. Uh, this, this affects all of us in a very negative way.
Uh, well, Mr.
And when you hit the nail on the head, and when an individual who is so disturbed and self-centered takes it upon themselves to create the racial narrative in a community, it never ends up real well because it just, it, it, it does is it, it, it serves the individual and it does anything but serve the community.
Well, meaning that this gentleman, you know, had his own kind of objectives that were, from what we understand, to kind of bolster his salary on his TV show and all that stuff?
Well, Mr. William, I think it goes a lot deeper than that.
You know, this emerges into the very strata of society, and in particular, Mr. William, the African-American community.
As we know, Mr. Jolette was an African-American man.
That's a homosexual, African-American man, his political leanings on display in full-color, of course.
And this individual, he took it on himself to be self-righteous,
to try to create the narrative for the country, for the community,
and in particular the African-American nuclear narrative to say we reject people of a certain political party.
We reject people that don't think and agree the way along the lines that we do that we do.
And when you perpetrate that kind of prejudice or that kind of racism on your fellow.
citizens, you in turn become the racist. You in turn become the perpetrator, and you in turn become
the living, breathe, and hate crime, Mr. Williams. Wow. You know, that is so, this is why we
wanted to have you on. It is so in depth. It is so accurate. And tell us about, you know,
the effect in particular that it does have on the African American community. Well, absolutely.
Absolutely, Mr. Williams. As you know, this is my pedigree. This is my wheelhouse. I do teach,
and I have taught for almost two decades up at Berkeley facility here. And, you know, I have spent a lifetime, an absolute lifetime, digging into the African-American culture, the African culture, the black culture, if you will, right across the board.
So as devastating as this event is, and as many heart points as we need to look at,
we always have to come around to one certain thing.
Yes, what is that, Professor Rutherford Grimes?
Well, let's look at Jesse Mullet and what he do for a living.
His career?
Exactly.
Now, what was he trying to accomplish with this horrible, horrible divisive stunt?
Well, from what we can gather, sir, it sounded like it came to, he's a professional actor,
he's on a TV show called Empire or something like that, I think.
I don't know the name, really.
And he was trying to get attention to himself to raise his salary as an actor.
Exactly. And whenever there's a crime, Mr. Williams, we must look at the clues. I'm sure you read Nancy Drew when you were a young boy.
Well, I didn't read Nancy Drew. I read the Hardy Boys.
Okay, well, just listening to your voice, you sound like you might be more of a Nancy Drew type of person.
Okay, I'm not sure what that means, Mr. Grimes.
Well, well, your voice is a little bit, a little bit dandy, as we say, down in the neighborhood.
Dandy?
Excuse me.
Are you okay, sir?
Yeah, let me get back to my point, Mr. Williams.
Well, you know, no, I think you said I was dandy.
What does that mean?
I think we should stay focused on the narrative here, and one of the things, one of the giant clues in this horrible, horrible crime, Mr. Williams,
You nailed the hammer on the head.
Jesse Mullet is an actor.
That's right.
He's an actor.
He was trying to get his fee up.
And so we have to take that primary crew.
And we have to go,
what is it about being an actor
that would make this man do something so low,
so vile that he could reach up
and really scratch the belly of a snake?
Well, yeah, it's got to be something pretty,
troubling if he's as an actor, he's going to try and, you know, change the whole racial balance of a
country, a country that's already, you know, got racial issues.
Exactly. And the biggest crew in this crime is the word actor.
Okay, you keep coming back to the word actor. Why is actor the key word in this investigation?
Because we look at what was the motivation for this crime, and we go, is it, is it hate, is it racism, is it politics, is it money, and we go, no, we come, we keep coming back to the word actor.
Okay, I'm not sure I'm following this, professor.
Well, there's someone else in the African-American community who,
happens to be an actor.
Well, there's a lot of African-American actors, a professor.
But there's one in particular who has done so well and has won Oscars
and has consistently had a career that keeps going and going and going.
Okay.
And we have to point the finger where the blame lies.
Wait a minute. Are you saying you know why this all happened because of another actor?
What I'm talking about, Mr. Williams, is Jesse Mullet, perpetrated this crime so that he could get more recognition, more fame, more money than an other prominent African-American actor.
And I think you know who I'm talking about, Forrest Whitaker.
Wait a minute, Forrest Whitaker
You know Forrest Whitaker now
Some people have to do a hate crime
Some people got to do a hoax on the whole country
To get attention
But Forst Whitaker now, he got something that God gave him
Where he don't have to even get up out of bed
To get attention and stand out in the pack
What do you mean, sir?
Forrest Whitaker left out.
Now, have you ever seen Forrest Whitaker's left eye?
Wait a minute.
Professor went, no.
Now, every time you come on this show,
you seem to kind of veer off
towards Forrest Whitaker's left eye.
Forst Whitaker left eye.
Now, this thing hanged down
like a bunch of bananas on a banana tree.
It just dangled down over his eye,
and I don't know if that's a meat flap
or somebody fold over it.
Peter Brad or something over his left eye,
and that thing hanged down like a sun guard.
You put in your window on a hot day at the mall parking lot.
You put a sun guard in your front window and Forrest Whitaker, God willing, I don't know why.
Forrest Whitaker born with almost like a sun guard on his left eye.
Just hang down and Forrest Whitaker don't have to do nothing
to get a lot of attention into African-American acting community.
Sir, Professor, I don't know why Forrest Whitaker's left eye
would make anyone jealous and have them do what Jesse Malay did.
Well, Jesse Malay tried, and here's where the word jealousy come in, Mr. Williams.
Jesse Malay trying to climb the African-American actor pile.
He tried to get up there.
You know, he got to go to audition.
He got to be on a second-ride television, second-ride television,
A second-ride, a second-rate television series now.
Hear me now.
And, you know, he's not going to get an Oscar doing a television series.
He's not going to get the big movie money doing a television series.
But guess who is, Forrest Whitaker.
Okay?
And Forrest Whitaker, he don't need to climb, no mountain.
He don't need to go to no audition.
He don't have to sit with the producer and smirk.
To get a movie role, Forrest Whitaker got something real special that no other African-American actor got.
Professor, now...
Do you know what it is?
Well, I think I know what you're going to say.
It's his left eye.
God bless Paul's Wittaker, that left eye, that left eye hanged down from like a hummingbird nest hanging from a tree branch.
I don't know if you ever sat on the edge of a beach and watched the same.
sunset go down slowly in the sky and sink into the water that when you look in false
Whitaker's left eye that meat flap you got that big wide meat flat it just slowly sink down right
over his eye like watching a sunset on his eye and you know if you're getting lucky maybe some
seagulls fly across his eye and make some seagull noises you know like ah ah ah you know right
like watching a forced Whitaker left eye cease sunset
Professor, look, no one's going to dispute your credentials, you've got degrees, you've
been teaching, but when you bring this all back to Forrest Whitaker's left eye, I mean, I don't
think Jesse Malay would want to, well...
Now, before you jump the rail there, Mr. Williams, if you look at the mugshot, or I shouldn't
say the mugshot, there was a picture taking a police photograph. Do you remember this?
Which one are you talking about, Professor?
There was a police photograph digging right after the alleged assault on Jesse Malay.
Oh, yes, okay, the one where he's got the cut on his face.
And precisely, and what side of the face was the cut?
I guess on the left side.
And where on the face was the cut?
It was right under his eye.
Mingo, Mr. William.
It was right under his left eye.
Now guess who else got a left eye?
Forst Whitaker.
He got that left eye with that eyelid hang down like somebody pushed some chocolate
pudding off the edge of the kitchen table and some raspberry jelly.
It just droop off the side and splat to the floor.
Hallelujah.
Professor, what are you saying?
What I'm saying is the police said that was a self-inflicted wound right there,
but Jesse Ballet's left eye.
Okay, a self-inflicted wound, yeah, that makes sense.
It was a hoax.
But why would someone try to punch themselves in the left eye?
I don't know.
Because you punch yourself in the left eye.
Before long, before you know it, your eyelid be drooping down.
like the ear of a basset hound in a rainstorm, Mr. Williams.
Oh, that left eye being hanging down like a baby in a diaper
that just dropped a gerber bomb in there.
I mean, it is sagging right down to the back of that child's days.
And Jesse Malay, looking to get an advantage in the acting world,
the African-American acting community, he's like,
this is my chance to get me and I like Frost Whitaker.
I'm going to stage an attack, I'm going to call it racist,
but at the end of it, his main objective was so he can punch himself in a left eye,
and his left eye hanged down like a soggy piece of pizza slice
folded over in your hand with it too hot to hold on to.
What the hell are you talking about?
Are you saying the reason this guy did this is so he can punch his eye,
have a saggy eye like Forrest Whitaker
and start taking movie roles away from Forrest Whiton
because now Jesse Malay is the new saggy left eye in town.
Bingo, Mr. Williams.
This is ridiculous, Professor Rutherford.
How is it that you always bring these theories of yours
about the African-American community
back to Forrest Whitaker's left eye?
Because you ever hear the saying an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth?
Of course!
Well, how about a saggy, Forrest Whitaker, left eye for a saggy, Forrest Whitaker, left eye?
Here we go.
This is just, now you've entered into the world of the ridiculous.
And what act that wooden board an aisle that sagged down?
Oh, just like, you ever been driving through the mud, and all of a sudden, you're tired going to a
mud puddle and your whole car just sang down.
That Forrest Whitaker left eye just dripped down like ice cream down the side of an ice cream
cone on a hot July day.
Just pictures of mint chocolate chip ice cream, Mr. Williams, slowly sliding down from the scope
and dripping down the side of that cone.
It's like watching Forst Whitaker with a mint chocolate chip meat flap on his eyes just dripping down.
Okay, stop.
Mr. Williams?
Well, I don't mean to raise my voice to you, sir,
but this is a serious matter,
and you're taking something that affects all of us,
and you're going down this road
where everything happens because of Forrest Whitaker's left eye.
Now, I do believe I have numerous diplomas on my wall,
Mr. Williams,
in African-American culture, subculture, and so on and so forth.
Now, for you to dispute what I took the time out of my business schedule to come on your show
and convey to the people so that they can understand and cope and adjust to this horrible moment in our country's history
is beyond, I don't know why you do this.
I'm not doing anything, sir, but I think you're confusing a very important sensitive moment in our history
with an actor, Forrest Whitaker, at his left eye.
Oh, that eye.
That eye.
Who knows what else is coming around the corner?
Who knows what other eye?
Who knows?
Maybe Denzel Washington got some plans.
Maybe Denzel Washington going to go out to the park one night,
but then he got jumped by a bunch of hoodlums and punched his left eye all up.
And he go to the media and TMZ put him on the television cameras
and his eye all drooping down like a baked ham that just came out of the oven
Just bubbling with skin on it
Just flapping down like a mudflap
On the back of an 18 wheel
And driving from here
All the way up to Sacramento
I mean, oh my God
Sir, I'm gonna have to end the call
I think this is just spiraled into something
That my listeners don't appreciate
I'm sorry
Well, why don't you ride a unicorn
Straight the hell, you son of a bitch, racist
What?
What the hell?
Roger why I'm the racist I didn't say anything right there's nothing race I was having an
an educated conversation about important this guy I know he's a professor but good lord why am I
I feel like the bad guy here this guy went off and made no sense good lord what a
forest Whitaker's left eye good God go to a commercial
Roger, what an idiot.
For my feminine itching, I depend on vagusil cream to stop it instantly.
And for a painful burning itch, I get maximum strength vagusil for even stronger relief.
There's vagusil cream and maximum strength.
Aye, aye, what a weird way to end the show.
I mean, you know, I respect the professor's point of view and he's certainly knowledgeable and he's an African-American man,
but I expected a little more out of him on this.
I think this goes way, way deeper than just Forrest Whitaker's left eye.
So as much as I don't want to sound like I'm smarter than him,
I just don't know that I agree with his analysis.
And I, I don't know.
Anyways, we're going to end the show there because it's just a head scratcher,
and I'm a little discombobulated by all that.
talk about somebody's eye. Ridiculous.
Let me give you an update on what's going on with my stand-up comedy schedule.
In a couple of weeks, I will be in the beautiful city of San Diego.
San Diego, California. Here I come.
Heavens! Heavens to Betsy even!
So March 14th to March 16.
I will be at the American Comedy Co in San Diego, California.
What a great club.
It's one of those real intimate rooms.
It's like down in a basement and on the stage.
You can see the pipes from the water pipes and stuff from up above.
And it's just kind of a cool, dingy, like intimate comedy club.
So come on out to the American Comedy Co.
that's March 14, 15, and 16 in San Diego, California.
Going to be a blast.
And then the following weekend, March 21st to the 23rd,
yours truly will be at the Mohegan Sun Casino up there near Hartford, Connecticut.
It's a beautiful casino nestled out in the woods.
and they have a great comedy club called Comics with an X Comics.
And I'll be out there March 21st to the 23rd.
And that's another great one.
Going to be a blast.
And if you want to get tickets for these shows ahead of the crowds,
go to my website, harlandwiliams.com,
and go to the stand-up tour page and reserve your tickets.
And while you're there, you can look and see if I'm coming to your town
city. I've got many more dates listed on the page of my 2019 tour schedule.
So maybe you can come out and see me in person. And last night, I did a show in a beautiful
city called Chico, California. And yeah, Chico, California. And it's just kind of north of Sacramento,
California, and I thought it was going to be kind of a, you know, a quiet little farming town
or a small agricultural community.
And it turns out there's a college up there, and it's the cutest little most boutiquey little town
with the little beautiful little restaurants and a downtown area with lights and parks and fountains
and got to do a show.
And I guess what the owners told me was the second old.
oldest theater in California.
This thing was built way, way back.
I think it was over 100 years old called the Majestic Theater,
a huge old movie theater,
and they repurposed it, and they're doing like live entertainment shows,
and they had myself in to do a stand-up show,
and it was great, and much to my delight,
there was a father and a son right in the front row
who in the middle of my actually started yelling out the Harland Highway.
Don't quit the Harland Highway.
Keep the hard.
And I was so moved, and I didn't get a chance to talk to them after the show.
But how special that a father and a son were there,
A, to support my stand-up and come out and have a laugh,
but also to be so passionate about the Harland Highway.
So thanks for coming out, guys.
Thanks for all of Chino coming out.
What a great venue.
What a great town.
And we had a really good time.
So make sure you get out to any shows that I might be in your part of the world.
I would love to see you.
Also, while you're at Harlan Williams.com, you can check out our web store.
We have all kinds of fun merchandise, shirts, and music CDs, and DVDs, and digital downloads,
and all kinds of cool stuff.
check that out also you know as I said we're ending but there there will still be a
a premium member way to get the the archived editions of the podcast so if you want to hear
all 1,000 episodes of the Harland Highway for 20 bucks a year you can jump on the
premium membership at harloweems.com or on the free app the Harland Highway
app on your cell phone so we'll still be out there in the universe gang we're just we're not
going to be doing weekly um you know brand new episodes uh so there you go gang thank you for
being here and and based on that that horrible hate crime and after talking about how the world
can be horrible and it's only people that make it horrible let's be good to each other don't do
stupid things like this idiot did from that TV show.
We all just want to get up and wake up every day and have a good meal
and spread the love and have a good life.
So why do stupid, hurtful, mean, cruel things?
Just be good to each other.
Is that too hard?
That's it.
Thank you for being here.
I love you guys.
And until next time, chicken.
Chalmy, baby?
pictures of mint chocolate chip ice cream, Mr. Williams, slowly sliding down from the scope
and dripping down the side of that cone.
It's like watching Forrest Whitaker with a mint chocolate chip meat flap on his eye just dripping down.
Thank you.