The Harland Highway - 994 - SWEET SONG FROM 70'S. Crazy NEWS story. Question of the DAY!

Episode Date: May 22, 2019

SWEET SONG FROM 70'S. Crazy NEWS story. Question of the DAY! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A thousand apologies, pavement pounders, for being late by 24 hours. Yes, we're running a little late for this week's podcast. Unfortunately, I was traveling, and I'm going to talk about it as we get into the podcast. I was in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, so I was unable to do it, but here we are a day late and all the gold that you love here on the Harlan Highway. I'm Harlan Williams, and yes, we're going to be talking about my travels.

We're going to be talking about springtime and the horrific thing that happens in the spring. It's called allergy season. Oh, my God. Not fun. Also, I'm going to be playing a song for you later, a really sentimental, beautiful song that kind of, if you like kind of heartfelt songs,

you're going to like this one a lot. It's sung by a very unusual character, and I think you'll like it. Also a crazy news story. Oh, yeah, it involves Mexican food and opioids. Let's just leave it right there. And then the very important Harland Highway Question of the Day. Oh, yes, this one involves our military might,

the United States of America, and it's a military might, the Harland Highway Question of the Day. So put your battle gear on, tighten your weapons belt. Here we go. This is, the Harland Highway. What do you know my name? It's on the marriage certificate. I've never seen you before in all my life.

Hold on to your airbag. You're heartless, heartless monsters. All of you, through and through. You're riding down the Harland Highway. Oh, yeah! When you see a fallen stock, that means a witch has just died. You clumsy idiot? The Harland Highway.

Oh, I want is to hear people say something again or to see people moving again. I'm Floyd Bernie, the rockabilly boy. Don't you understand? You're listening to Harlan Williams. I can't be your daughter. I'm a machine. Man, you've been dead a thousand years. Why, George, I think he's got it.

You're writing down the Harlan. Highway with Harland Williams. What's up, Doc? Mr. If you're going to lose, you're going to lose right now. Don't leave me here! Oh, hello, everybody. Welcome to the Harland Highway. How are you?

Hello. Great to have you on board for the highway. It's another week. Let's make it a good one. I feel like summer, is it officially summer yet? Are we still in spring? I'll tell you what is official. Paulin, man.

How many of you were starting to feel the old hay fever coming down the... Can you tell I'm a little bit stuffy? I sound like... I found like... I sound like Dudley Duwey to some kind of cartoon character. I'm all stuffy. Ah, but boy, can it get miserable? Oh, God.

The key to the allergies is don't rub your eyes. Once you itch those eyes, you're like, ooh, they're kind of itchy. I'll just give them a little rub, a little, just to get rid of that initial itch. And then once you touch the eyes, dude, you might as well get like a hot poker and just gouge them out. It's like you're addicted. You're addicted to your own eyes. You can't stop. It's like watching a, if you open a washing machine and you watch the middle of the washing machine go round and out,

right the way it's. churns around in that circle. That's like your knuckle in your eye. It's just you can't stop. You can't get out of the spin cycle. And then all of a sudden you, you know, you pull your knuckle away from your eye. And it looks like you look like a British bulldog all of a sudden.

Your eyes are all puffy. You look like one of those goldfish with the big bulgy eyes. Speaking of that, I got to tell you know, when I, I'm going to break over. away for a second here because something funny happened this weekend i was doing a stand-up comedy shows in pittsburgh and by the way what a great weekend we had i mean sold out shows not all of them but i'd say half of them and just you know great crowds and then people were really there to laugh and have a good time and so thank you pittsburgh and the pittsburgh improv what a blast but you know i

improvised with the crowd a lot. I talk to the crowd, and, you know, a lot of times I make stuff up right on the fly. And for some reason, I was looking at this lady, and I don't know where it came from. But I said to her, for no real reason, I just said, you ever go to a pet shop and buy one of those goldfish with the great big, bulgy, puffy eyes, and dangle it over your face and pretend you're teabagging yourself? It was so stupid. It's one of those moments, like sometimes I'll start laughing on stage. And I just, everyone started laughing hysterically, and I was laughing.

And boy, is it fun when you, when you go to a show and you're the guy laughing? You're supposed to be making everyone else laugh, but you're the guy laughing. That's like, that's like stealing almost. But anyways, back to the old, back to the old, you know, allergy stuff. said don't don't go near your eyes okay you're just asking for more misery um and speaking of pittsburgh i got i want to tell you this is a funny story too you ever meet people that are so unaware and clued out and just you just you just look at them and go what what the hell is going on with that person so i went yesterday to see john wick three don't get me started um i go

see John Wick 3 and I'm at the movie theater and there's a snack bar and there's two lines with them with like ropes you know like so so everyone's like lined up you can clearly see it's the only two lines there's like those those like guiding ropes that they put up are not ropes but the little strap things right so everyone's lined up you know five or six people deep each side and you can see the snack bar and you can see the popcorn machines and you can see the slushy machines you know it's a it's a freaking movie theater snack bar and i'm standing at the back of the line because i just got there and there's a at the line beside me and this lady walks up probably like in her like late 50s early 60s kind of chubby kind of looks like you know

it looks like your typical like Midwestern chubby housewife, right? Pleasant enough, white lady. And she walks up to the back of the line and she looks at like kind of no one in particular, but was kind of directing it at me and the other people at the back of the line. She's like, oh, where do you go to get popcorn? We're just looking there. We, like, me and the people of the back of the line just started looking at each other. Like, what the hell is she talking about?

She's like, does anyone know where to go to get popcorn? Is this the line? And we're just like, and we're looking at her like, is she for real? And she goes, oh, so nobody wants to tell me? Okay, fine. Nobody wants to tell me where to get popcorn. And she, like, she huffs off. And we were just, meet me.

There was a girl in the other line at the back, and we just looked at each other and broke up laughing. We were like, what hell is that? And then, then I turned to, I said to her, I said, what do we work here? Like, how do you not know? You're at a movie theater. There's the snack bar. Everyone's in the line. There's a great big popcorn machine there. Popping away, you idiot. Does anyone know where the popcorn? Where do I get the popcorn? Okay, nobody wants to tell me? Fine. Nobody wants to tell me where to get the popcorn. Just hilarious. It always cracks me up when people do all that stuff. But anyways, so a great time in Pittsburgh, I can feel the pollen starting, and it's okay.

Summer is here. Yay. The Harland Highway, question of the day. Okay, here it is. What do you think about the military? That's the big question of the day. And I don't mean overall, I just mean here's why I came up with the question. You know, we pay for the military.

me, you, all of you listening, the military is paid for with our tax dollars, it's ours. And lately, and I don't know if it's because Trump's in power or it's just a fluke or it's just something new or whatever. But I live in Los Angeles and I travel around the country. And I've noticed that since kind of Trump got into power, and again, it might not be him. Let's not make this a Trump thing. I'm just wondering out loud. I've noticed in the last little while, like the last few years, since around the time Trump got elected,

and again, could be a complete fluke or coincidence, but I've noticed, like, the military presence in the air more than I ever have before. And case and point, like, in Los Angeles, I've noticed, like, every now and then fighter jets fly over the city, every now and then, like, a squadron of, like, black hawk helicopters go by and it's happening it happens a lot more than it used to and and when i travel around like i've been down in florida and other places and i've seen i've seen the military

aircraft in all their different uh you know incarnations zooming across the sky or flying across in a in a formation or a pattern and i got to say even we're not at war I mean, we are at war with countries overseas, but we're not at war with anybody close by that would warrant that our skies are filled with our military hardware. But yet, here I keep kind of sensing and seeing the presence of our powerful and mighty and, dare I say, very impressive Air Force and all the aeronautical equipment that we have that's military related. And I'm not a war monger, and I'm not someone who wants war or fighting, and in fact, I don't like that stuff at all. But I got to say, you know, as a tax

dollar, sometimes you wonder like, well, what, $17 trillion for our military? Yeah, $117 billion dollars for you know we put a lot of money into that military so those there's two things about seeing actual aircraft go by that that these are the feelings i get and and you let me know how you feel about it one i go you know what it's kind of nice to see our equipment go by i mean we pay so much for it and you never really see it unless you're living in a war zone and every now and then it's nice to see a freaking beautiful streamlined technological masterpiece miracle streak by in the sky at the speed of freaking sound man I mean let's face it these these jet fighters we have and even the helicopters

these things are engineering miracles they're they're unbelievable and if you hate war and you hate the war machine well you know if you can separate yourself from that And just look at this thing as a machine as a piece of aeronautical beauty. I mean, the speed, the precision, the power. Holy God. I mean, it is impressive. It's impressive when just one flies over, but when like four or five fly over in a formation

or a squadron of Black Hawk helicopters goes, by. There's a feeling. You feel that. That's like, whoa. That's like almost like if superheroes were real, you know, if you can see Iron Man or the Hulk or there's that bundled up energy, that power. Man, when a supersonic fighting jet goes by an F-16 or a hornet or whatever they're called, when they go by and they break the sound barrier and that jet engine explodes it's like whoa you just feel the power man so there's the beauty of that there's the beauty of seeing the actual thing that we pay for and it's nice to know that it's like okay that's where our money goes give us a little bit of a show and yeah maybe they're just test flying or whatever

they might be wasting gas or you know i doubt they're wasting gas they're probably training I mean, those things, you've got to stay on top of a machine like that to be efficient and proficient at it and skilled. So I don't mind that they buzz over my house or I see them out in the world. I like it. And then the second thing is, is it's like, you know, we pay for this stuff.

So part of it's like, show me, show. Yeah, I like to be reminded. And then thirdly, it's also like, it's kind of neat to be reminded that, oh, yeah, we have a military. We have fighting power. We're freaking strong, man. It's like, oh, yeah, that you don't mess with us. It's like how many you have a house and you keep a pit bull in the house or a big dog or a guard dog or you kind of feel good because your husband goes to the gym or your wife's taking a martial arts class? You know, you like that, or you installed a security system on your home.

It's kind of cool, right? When you kind of know you can see, like, tangibly see the security. And so there's a lot of different cool things happening when the presence of the military, and I'm talking about in the air, is felt. Because a lot of the time you don't see. You could go years without seeing a fighter jet. You can go a decade. You can go, who knows how long.

Some people have probably never seen them. And so I like it when I'm just out gardening, I'm raking, or I'm watering the lawn, and all of a sudden, you know, like three viper tomcat, Tina Turner, fire hellcat, Space Satan, 924, fuel-injecting,

cling-on fucking blast-off. machines go by or whatever they're called they always have crazy names right but it feels kind of good it's like yeah man I paid for that let me see it yeah I live in the most powerful military country in the world give me a little reminder give me a little give me a shot in the arm let me experience it I'm paid for it I'm I'm paying seven trillion dollars for it give me a little show give me a demo remind me you know it's like it's like when you pay for something you want to maybe see it now and then you want to you want to get you you know you pay for internet service you use your internet you pay for cable or satellite for

your tv you want to watch your tv i'm paying seven trillion bucks for you know all these giant supersonic jets and helicopters let me freaking see one man hey everybody who wants to have better sex no yes yes the answer is yes you always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and free.

fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specifically to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and a hundred percent free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So there you go. And again, it's not about war. It's not about, you know, if we can fly these things around and never drop a bomb and kill anybody, that would be the ultimate for me. But just, these were just

deterrence. And in a lot of cases, that's what they are, right? That's the downside of all that stuff. You know, war machines are designed to kill other human beings. That's the bottom line. Outside of the precision and the mechanics and the skill and really any weapon that we have is pretty much designed to kill and take another human life. So that's the downside. But the other side, you know, if things go wrong,

if China or Russia or someone was to attack or a third world, War broke out or whatever, it's nice to know you got that thing that you're paying for, right? It's good to see it, good to feel it, good to go out in the garage, take the tarp off, and sit in the seats and smell the leather, right? So there you go. That's the Harlan Highway question of the day. Do you like seeing your military in action? Do you like seeing the birds in the air?

I know I do. Ah, the Harland Highway, question of the day. The Harland Highway, question of the day. All right, switching gears from fighting machines, fighting apparatus to romance apparatus. How about that leap? Hello? So, recently I did a show in Las Vegas.

I opened up a Jimmy Kimmel, the late-night talk show host, opened a brand-new comedy club in Las Vegas two weeks ago, and asked me, yours, truly, to open the club, to be the opening act for the opening weekend, and that was quite the honor. And Jimmy himself was there for the weekend, and we hung out in the green room, and he was very complimentary and told me what a fan he was,

and was grateful that I was opening it and I in turn said I was honored to be asked and blah, blah, bless. We had a great time. The show's beautiful. The club's beautiful. It's really nice. If you're in Las Vegas,

I recommend you drop by Jimmy's Comedy Club. It's really, really a good one. And one of the cool things is across the street. So Jimmy's Club is, guess is under the banner of Caesar's Palace. And Caesar's Palace is actually right across the street. And so the entertainment director for Caesars was also at the shows all weekend talking

to me and just a great guy. We were chatting and he was making sure I was comfortable and asking if everything was okay. And he was asking my advice about the club. Was there anything I didn't like, anything I liked? You know, because it was their opening weekend. So we wanted to get feedback. back.

And it turns out that across the street at Caesars, there was this act, and I just regret that I didn't have time to go to it. But apparently, and I'm pissed off. I didn't know about it when it was going down. But apparently this act came to one of my shows to watch the stand-up. That's what I was told. And I wish I had a chance to talk to him. But it's a guy that just kind of emerged last year.

from America's Got Talent. And he's his really tall guy, and he wears a clown outfit. And his name is Puddles, and his act is called Puddle's Pity Party. And the first time I saw this guy, he came out on America's Got Talent, and this guy's probably well over six feet, maybe six and a half feet tall. And wears like a white clown costume with his whole head. painted white, he's bald, and he's got, like, you know, little tear drops under his eyes. And this guy comes out, and what he does is he does cover versions of pop tunes.

And you're like, okay, whoop he do. But here's the kicker, the guy's got an incredible voice. Like this guy, I think he might have secretly been an opera singer or something. But this guy's range and the emotion he puts in his voice, he's very theatrical. And the whole, like, you know, sad clown is all part of the gimmick, you know. And so when I saw him on America's Got Talent, I really liked the guy. He didn't win, but he was really a great, like, talented singer and performer. And to know that he was at my show bums me up because if I'd known, I would have asked to meet him.

And if I had time, I would have liked to have gone across the street and watched his show over at Caesars. But nonetheless, I wanted you to hear this guy. I don't have the rights or the permission to play his song or anything. So this is just a promotion for him. I want people to go see him. I like him. I hope if you're in Vegas, you see him, or if you're on YouTube, you look him up.

But he did a cover version of a song from the 1970s called Telephone Line by the Electric Light Orchestra. And this is a really beautiful song, and it's just kind of a soft, slow song about a man trying to call his woman and just wishing she would pick up the phone. And if she'd just pick it up, he'd have so many things to tell her and say to her and spill his emotions out onto her, you know? And I think that's a situation we've all been in. and even more so back in the 70s because all we had were landlines, right? And so sometimes you would plan your evening

or your afternoon or even your day around the phone just hoping that that person you were romantically interested in would call. And I was talking to, funny enough, a limo driver the other day. He was driving me to the airport, and we started talking about cell phone, and how much kind of madness they're kind of creating in society.

And this guy was a bit older, and we started talking about the landline. And how, you know, if you liked a girl, you couldn't wait for her to call, and there was this anticipation, and you'd sit by the phone, and your heart would start beating, and you get all tongue-tied. Because, you know, when someone decided to phone you on the landline, that was kind of like a moment. It was a commitment. It wasn't like today with cell phones.

where you can text and sext and call and, you know, people don't even call anymore. I think they'd rather text and call. People don't want to hear each other's voices. But back in the 70s and the 80s, it was a thing when your girl called, man. It got the butterflies gone. It was just like it was romantic, and it was like you made use of that time. You wanted to try and say something that was cool. or catchy or engaging so that you can stay on the line with that girl

and you were nervous and oh man it was it was a whole it was a whole ordeal man and we were talking about how we missed the landlines and and how that was kind of like your your entryway into kind of getting a relationship going with a girl as if you can manage to talk to her on the phone it was it was the beginning of something. And then once you kind of establish something with your boyfriend and girlfriend, well, then it became a situation. And this happened to me many times where, you know, if you were separated, you had to figure out a time where you could call or you'd have to figure out a time when you could arrange to make a phone call or talk to each other. And sometimes when you were

lonely, you couldn't just, there was no cell phone. So if you really wanted to, cry your eyes out or pour out your emotions or whatever you had to like make sure you you got her on the phone and so uh this song by electric light orchestra is just it's really sentimental uh you younger listeners might not be able to relate to it but you older listeners might uh i just find it very emotional and passionate and heartfelt and almost a sense of sadness when I listen to it because it's you can you can hear the uh you know the in the voice of of puddles um the kind of that that longing that if you would just pick up the phone if i could just tell you how i feel i'd let you hear everything and just so you know that the uh the group

electric clay orchestra also look at their their video they're the ones that wrote this song and they sing it beautifully as well. This guy just puts a little bit of a different twist on it. But anyways, what I want to do is play it for you. Like I said, I don't have the rights to it or anything. So it's really just for exposure to, you know, electric light orchestra and to this guy Puddles Piddy Party. It's a tongue twister, man.

So sit back. I hope you enjoy this song. It's very romantic. and sad and touching and sentimental and emotional and it's full of feeling and it's very heartfelt and it's one of those one of those things if you watch the video I think Puddles also emotes that in his performance so without further ado here it is this is electric light

orchestra's telephone line as reimagined by Puddle's pity party Roll it, Rodge. Hello. How are you? Have you been all right? Through all the lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely nights. what I'd say I'd tell you everything if you pick up that telephone Hey how you're feeling are you still the same don't you realize the things we did were all for real

Not a dream I just can't believe They're all fading out of loo Ooh Do-W-W-U-W-W-Doo-W-W-D-W-D-W-D-Ley, Blue Tees, Black Nights, too-A-2-Lay. I look into the sky, love you needn't going to see. through and I wonder why little things we plan in coming to oh oh telephone line give me some time I'm living in twilight oh oh tell the phone line

give me some time I'm living in twilight Living in twilight Okay So no one's answering Could you just let it ring a little longer longer longer I'll be alright Through the shadows of the night If you let it ring forever more

Two-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-l-l-l-l-lid-lake. Blue days, black nights, too-all-too-lain. I look into the sky. ain't gonna see you through and I wonder why little things we plan ain't coming true oh oh telephone line give me some time I'm living in twilight oh oh telephone line give me some time I'm living in twilight I'm living in Hello from the other side I must have called a thousand times

To tell you I'm the sorry For everything that I've done But when I call you you never seem to be home. Hello from the other side. At least I'm gonna say I'm cried. To tell you, I'm sorry for everything that I've done.

But when I call you, you never seem to be hold. Oh, yeah. All right, that end little beat there where it kind of like picks up and gets louder after the little break there. I think that's an Adele song. I think he added that on as a little mashup. So just the end little segment there

is a totally different song. But it's a great performance. Check them out on YouTube. Puddles Piddle Party. Pity Party. God, Puddles. um on youtube and i think you'll like the performance okay so no one's answering can't you just let it ring a little longer longer oh oh i'll just sit tight in shadows of the night

If you'd pick up that telephone Oh Oh god I just love it I look at that video over and over again I just love it so much It's so It's so heartfelt

Just it kind of makes me sad It's bring back a lot of memories And you know I used to have girlfriends back in the 70s and the 80s and I had my hair parted in the middle I looked like Teen Wolf with pimples that just brings back

a lot of set of natural memories Hello How are you Have you been all right All these lonely lonely Lonely lonely lonely lonely nights That's what I'd say

And tell you anything If you'd pick up the telephone Why am I Scottish? How did I become Scottish in that moment? I don't know why. I was just talking, I was singing, and suddenly I'm Scottish. What the hell is that?

Oh, the mysteries of life. One minute, you're just Harland, and the next minute you're Harlan McTavish and you're singing telephone line. Okay. So nobody's answering. What, you just let it ring a little longer, longer, longer, longer, longer, longer, longer, longer. Oh, I'll just sit tight in shadows of the night.

If you'll pick up that fucking telephone, goddammit. What is, why? Roger, why am I like Scottish? Now? What about now? Whenever it hits you, wherever you are, grab an O'Henry bar to satisfy your hunger. With its delicious combination of big, crunchy, salty peanuts

covered in creamy caramel and chewy fudge with a chocolatey coating. Swing by a gas station and get an O'Henry today. Oh hungry, oh Henry. All right, let's clear the hands. And Roger, let's do a crazy news story to close out the show. I got to get this Scottish thing out of my system. Go ahead play a crazy, crazy news story, Roger. The Harland Highway.

Crazy news story. That's weird. That's strange stuff. All right. Let's do it. There's never a shortage of crazy news stories. out there. This one's, I don't know,

maybe we're all guilty of this one. Possibly. Here's the headline. Man tries to order Taco Bell from Drive-Thru Bank Teller gets arrested for DUI. Oh, America's so much fun. A Florida man, uh-oh, guess what?

Happened in Florida. Why does so many, why do so many of these stories happen in Florida? You Floridians are a colorful bunch. A Florida man was arrested for driving under the influence after pulling up to a drive-thru window at a bank and trying to order a burrito. Douglas Francisco 28 had reportedly fallen unconscious

after entering the drive-thru lane at the Bank of America in Spring Hill on Wednesday afternoon. The bank's manager says he reached out and knocked on the window of, Francisco's blue Hyundai sedan for some time before the unconscious man roused himself awake and placed his order for a burrito. Oh, my God. Can you just imagine that? The guy's like asleep and he just tears like on the window and he just his eyes. Yeah, man, like, give me like a burrito with like extra beans and onions, bro. And like, uh, orange fanta. And, like, uh, orange fanta. And, and.

and like some churias. Uh, sir, would you like to make a deposit? Uh, yeah, dude, I'd like to deposit that burrito right in my mouth because I'm fucking really hungry. I got the munchies, bro. Um, would you like to make a withdrawal? Yeah, you know, after all, I kind of put it in my mouth and take a bite, then I'll withdraw it, chew for a while, swallow,

and then I'll make another deposit. Is that what you mean, bro? the manager at the bank informed Francisco he was not at a Taco Bell drive-thru and called the police officers from the sheriff's officer ride to find Francisco parked a short distance away in the bank's parking lot

with his motor still running I wonder if he was imagining he was eating the burrito they administered field soriety tests which Francisco failed and noted in a police report that he made several statements that were differing with reality. Francisco was also found to be carrying oxycodine and Xanax at the time of his arrest, but had prescriptions for both.

Of course he did. Because prescriptions for those types of pills are so hard to get nowadays. I mean, I think they're handing, they're probably handing those. He probably could have asked the guy at the teller window at the bank for opioids and Xanax and probably would have actually got it. A burrito's too big of a reach. A Taco Bell burrito, no way. But the way they're handing out, like, illegal drugs these days,

he probably could have got that. Okay, so you don't have any burritos, right? No, sir. how about some like opioids yes sir how many would you like i don't know do you have a funnel in there can you just pour like a bag down my throat absolutely sir that would be called a deposit yeah give me a deposit of opioids bro and you sure you don't have like even a taco or like a chummy chummy chumbalaya or any of those like cool mexican name foods Okay, I'll take them. Can you put some onions and maybe some black beans on them, though?

Sir, if you could just take your opioids and drive away, okay, bro, I got you right. What about my orange fanta? Go, sir. Okay, bro, I'm on my way. So there you go, man. Only in America, some idiot drives up to a bank and asks for a Taco Bell burrito. And surprise, surprise, he's on prescription. Meds. Oh, crazy news story. We'll see you in Florida.

All right. What else is going on? I went to see the new John Wick movie. I'm not going to rip it the way I did the Avengers movie a few weeks ago. But the John Wick movie, at least you know what you're getting. They're not trying too hard. It's John Wick shooting people. But I will say this, okay?

I don't know how many of you have seen the John Wick with Canal Reeves or canoe Reeves or kayak Reeves or whatever his name is. But it's basically Canal Reeves is like some kind of, he's involved in this society of assassins and killers. And I think he's a guy that kind of got out. And in the first John Wick, he was just a guy living in the suburbs. he had a hot rod and a pit bull and he lived in his house and he just wanted to be left alone and one day people from the past showed up and kind of got in his business and kidnapped his dog and stole his car and so he just wanted to get those back that's all but he's it he was one dangerous bad mofo you don't mess with john wick he's he's like one of these he can kill you with the look of his eye right so the first john wick was really kind of engaging and somewhat relatable because it was just about a guy in the suburbs who just

wanted to watch TV and cook his dinner and kick his feet up at the end of the day and suddenly gets pulled into this world of like high-end secret society like assassins and you're like okay kind of like average Joe with hidden secret martial arts skill has to fight back against all the bad dudes it was kind of like grounded in reality a little bit because he had a home life. And then the second one was like kind of now he's just kind of like it's all about him in this weird society and he's killing guys. And then the third one, totally unrelatable, the one that just came up because it's just

right out of the gate. It's about him and all the assassins in this secret of society and he's going up against them. And so there's no like groundedness where you feel like. you can connect to him because he's a guy that has a normal life. So the movie's just kind of blown up into this thing where you're just like, okay, I'm supposed to relate to this how? I'm not really connecting to any of this.

So you're just watching a guy running around for two hours shooting and killing guys that are just like him, like high-end, high-trained, incredible, like state-of-the-art assassins. Okay? and you have to ask yourself, John Wick is a mortal man. He has no superpowers. So you have to ask yourself,

how much better is John Wick's ability and training to evade knives and bullets and karate chops to the throat than any of the other highly skilled trained guys who have made it into this elite society? You can't get in unless you're the best of the best. And so a marker goes out for John Wick, and all of a sudden, all the best of the best, like 300 of the top secret assassins

are hunting and gunning for John Wick with knives and silencers and machine guns and motorcycles and, you know, like, you probably see John Wick kill 300 people in this movie. Okay, and not one of them, let alone do they not stab him, actually got stabbed once in the shoulder where it didn't count. But he didn't get hit with one bullet. He didn't take any other stabs. He somehow evaded every single shot that these expert marksman shot at him. So anyways, you got to buy into it, I guess, but it's just, it was so over the top. And he's just killing. I can't even, I wouldn't even be able to watch. I'd have to watch the movie 30 times to get the exact body count, but I'm not exaggerating. Probably.

And this movie, he kills like 200 people on screen. Like, that's how graphic it is. It's just one after the other. You just become numb to it. It's just bizarre. And yes, of course, because I always mention this. Not because I hate women. I love women.

But nowadays, we live in a world where you always have to put the empowering woman in a movie. Because, God forbid, a man can't stand on his own anymore. If you don't put a woman in, suddenly you're a sexist or you don't like women or whatever the reasoning is. So here's a movie called John Wick. That's the title. It's about John Wick. It's about John Wick fighting for his life. And then for no particular reason, there's a scene in the middle of the movie where he goes to someplace out in the Middle East.

And he enlists the help of Hallie Berry who shows up. Hallie Barry leather pants looking hot And Hallie Barry's got these two like You know really killer train The German Shepherd guard dogs And so he's with Hallie Barry For about 10 maybe 15 minutes of the movie And it turns out Hallie Barry

Is like the female version of John Wick So there's a scene where the two of them Just go on a killing spree And she's doing everything he can if not better. Like there's moments where John Wicks just like out of the scene. Like it's just her killing and fighting and somersaulting and shooting and jumping. And it's like, okay, what's the point of showing her?

Like, why do we need to see her? And of course, what it does is it totally dilutes the movie. It dilutes John Wicks character because just like I said in The Avengers, when you show someone else doing exactly what John Wick's doing, whether it's a man or a woman, you just go, oh, well, maybe John Wick's not that special at all. And the comparison I made to my friend is it's like in the Avengers movie, when you go see it, you'll see Iron Man,

and all of a sudden everyone's in an Iron Man costume, Pepper Potts and Don Cheadle and The Incredible Hulk. If everyone's wearing an Iron Man costume, then how, special as Iron Man. And so that's what happened in John Wick. Suddenly, Hallie Berry's like kick it ass at the same level that John Wick is. And you're just kind of like, oh, okay, I guess John Wick isn't that special after all. So anyways, this is the world of movies we live in.

All in all, it was kind of a fun ride. If you like action, adventure, and choreographed martial art scenes and stuff, it's good. Canal Reeves somehow has this mystique about it. him like I don't know what it is it's like for some reason you just like the guy it it's like you don't really sit there and go wow what a great actor but you don't you also don't go what a bad actor there's just there's something about him I think I think Canow Reeves gets it I think he's been able to keep establish and maintain a mystique about himself because he's one of those

guys that harkens back to the older movie stars like jack nicholson and sean pen and guys like that where it's like they don't put themselves out there they don't do a ton of interviews they don't do talk shows they kind of have this air of aura of mystery about them the way old movie stars used to and they keep the public guessing about what they're like and so when you see them in movies

there's kind of this oh wow he's such a weird cool guy you know and so I like that I like that he's kind of like the new Clint Eastwood in a way where he kind of has a a raspy voice now, and he's very limited with his words, with his dialogue. Clint Eastwood used to be like that in the old spaghetti westerns and the dirty hairy movies. You know, just kind of very limited dialogue, and when he did speak, it was kind of impactful because it's like, oh, wow, he's talking, you know? And Canal Reeves, he kind of holds you when he's about to

say something, you're kind of waiting, and he's like, I don't think so. You know, he's just, It's nothing he says is that important, but somehow it resonates because you've waited so long to hear him talk. The whole movie is just running and shooting and stabbing. So anyways, there you go. A little brief rundown. I'm not going through the whole movie of John Wick like I did with The Avengers, but just some highlights and some pointers.

And you know what? Look at the time. We're running out of time. By the way, I want to apologize. We were a day late. uh today's tuesday and normally the podcast launches on monday but i was traveling i had a had a lot of traveling to do i had to fly to three different cities uh on sunday and monday or sorry on monday so uh it was just too impossible for me to get the the podcast done i didn't want

to rush it i didn't i i wouldn't have had time to rush it anyway so so my apologies for the tardiness and being a day late but nonetheless we got her going baby I hope you have a great week. Thanks for being here as we wind down the Harlan Highway. And we will catch you next Monday on time. And until then, keep on rocking. Enjoy your Bank of America burritos and chicken. Chalmy, baby?

Hello? Hello? Okay. So no one's answering. Could you just let it ring a little longer, longer, longer? I'll be all right through the shadows of the night if you let it ring forever more. Two-o-lop, do-be-do-o-law, blue days, black nights, do-a-too-lake.

I look into the sky, love you need ain't gonna see you through, and I wonder why little things we plan are coming true. Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time I'm living in twilight. Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time I'm living in. Thank you.