The Harland Highway - BRENDA SARAI ZUNIGA- Comedian, Actress and Mindfulness Coach!

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Brenda Sarai Zuniga is here to discuss practices that help people overcome stress, anxiety, and Adhd. She also goes into what it's like to be the first-ever Mindfulness Coach for Miss California USA! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you fluent in Spanish? I am. For suppose, the volcano of Parangarokutrimicaro. You know, potato and carpenter. You know, potato and caterpillar? What do you know what I? What I'm called? Cataple-a-matito-matis and barbatos.

The volcano of parangaricotrimicoro, Garacutermikarol, that you're going to be able to be able to be able to be a bit of a bit of a bad. Okay. I agree. You're riding down the Harland Highway. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway show. Harland Williams. All right, I think we're...

I think we're ready to rock and roll. Are you ready? Do you feel ready? Yeah. I feel ready. Okay. I guess I should tell them where we are. Yeah, that would be a great start.

We're on the Harlan Highway podcast. Yeah. I usually say it in Cajun, too. Do you speak Cajun? A little bit from time to time. Okay, so let me do the theme music. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, well, now that's right.

You're on the Hallway Hall chair, right here. And what a show we got today. Brenda's here. Brenda, say hello to everybody. Hello, everybody. Where do I look? Oh, your camera's over here. Oh. Yeah.

Hello, everybody. But you know what? There is a camera here and here. So I'm not going to, who am I to tell a modern day woman where to live? Look. Hello, everybody. Wow, did you just get whiplash, perhaps? Slop it.

I'm used to it. You were like, hell low. Like, almost like a pigeon like, like, whr-v-r-v-r-v-r- Now, I'm not going to butcher your, you're one of those beautiful people like Sarah Jessica Parker. You go by three names.

And I don't want to butcher it, because I'm not good with, like, long names. Brenda, and then. Sarai. Zuniga. See, there's, folks, can you, can you blame me? I can't blame you. No, I can't blame Harlan.

Wow. You just did a fourth camera. You did one that isn't there. I did. You went like this, you want to, I can't blame Harlem. It was like, you made up your own camera. That's how good you are. I just thought I saw an invisible one and I was like,

Harlan's trying to surprise me. I'm not going to let him. You know how to podcast, girl. No one in all the history of the, Hall of Highway guests. No one has thrown to a camera that isn't there. Well, it's there. It is the, oh, that one?

It's right here. Holy God. It's and that it's gone. Wow, you are good. It was mine. Brenda got game. Brenda come into the, into the studio with game here on to Halawa Punker.

Um, well, how are you doing? Welcome to the, uh, to the pod. It's so good to see you. So good to see you. Yeah. Thank you. having me. Oh, are you kidding? You look dynamite. Have you ever had that term before? Dynamite? Not said like that. No. No, I've heard someone say, you look, dynamite. Oh, really? Like a whisper?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that had to be like at a weird, creepy pickup join or something. Yeah. And I was like, what did you just say to me? And he's like, dynamite. I'm like, my name is Brenda. Yeah. My name is Brenda. Yeah. And then he was like, dynamite. My name is Brenda, but you can call me nitroglycerin. or TNT, whatever you want. It all ends up with a bang. Too soon, too soon right away, inappropriate right away. But wait.

It was so great to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, yeah. It's all right. Thank you. Goodbye. Let's get the theme music. But wait, why was this guy's voice so husky and wood?

Like he was like, like dynamite. I think he had, um, I think you had, like, vocal cord damage. Wait, you got hit on by a guy with a tracheotomy? Yeah, it was... Wow. Yeah.

It's, I know. You look dynamite. Yeah. You look dynamite. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sometimes I wonder, this may sound mean. Yeah.

Why does a guy with a tracheotomy need to hit on women and look for gratification when just like three inches below his... chin there's a glory hole you know what he was someone who believed in himself so you just got that i mean take some yoga classes take some Pilates bend over backwards and you're you're riding all night i'm gonna drink some yeah i think you spritly are you all right god you're dynamite you're not fantastic you're dynamite you're not fantastic you're dynamite was it creepy was he in a library like why was he whispering were you in church we were at a park and i was running and and that's why i stopped because i was like what and he was like and i'm like

oh he flagged you down to give you a compliment yeah and he's like what and he whispered it i'm like trying to maintain my i was like listen i don't have time for what what is it he's like You're a dynamite. Oh, Brenda. My name is Brenda, not Diana. I thought he was saying Diana at first. Oh, Diana. But he was saying dynamite.

Yeah, or maybe he was saying Diana. And maybe now I'm a jerk because I'm making fun of him now. No, no. I'm not making fun of him. No. I'm empowering him. Yeah. What were you wearing?

Were you wearing anything red? Like did he was the, did the, oh, maybe I triggered something. Like if you're in a red track suit, maybe he's like, oh, you look like dynamite. You know, like a stick of TNT? Yeah, totally. I was trying to figure it out. I think that's what it was.

You were wearing rad. I was dressed as a stick of dynamite. Oh, so it was on Halloween. Yeah. Oh, wow. How did you know? Were you there too? You were there.

I was the guy. You were. I was the guy. I was dressed as an old man. Yeah, that was my Halloween. Recognized his voice. He looked like dynamite. Oh, my God.

Hello. Hi. Oh, my God. Come on over. Yeah. Hey. How are you? I'm good, I'm good.

So good to see you again. Yeah, nice to see you. That park was fun, wasn't it? Wow, that was weird. That was right next to the prison. Yeah. Are there parks beside prisons? I mean, this park was.

Yeah. You were dressed all in orange. I was in, yeah, the orange. I still remember that. Yeah, the orange jumps. But it was Halloween. Yeah. So.

Yeah, I guess on Halloween, you can't really decipher. or who's, because a lot of people for Halloween will dress up as bad people. Right. Like, even to the point where some will dress up like Freddie Kruger and Jason the 13th. But some people dress up as Ted Bundy. Some people dress up as a jailbird. So, yeah, I guess Halloween's the day where you could get away with just lurking in a park. You look like trying to bite.

Just the way you did, Harlan. Oh, my God. I can't believe that was able to do. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You know, this is awkward. We all got to grow.

Wow. How's your, um. Treyk? Yeah. You know, I like to, I'm a swimmer, so I like to refer to it as a blowhole. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, yeah, and I won the backstroke in the 76 Olympics.

That was like a thousand years ago, right? Yeah, and I didn't have to breathe. Like, all the other swimmers had to like, go under. I just went on my back and I was just like, whew, just, breathing away. That's wild. Gold, like 18 times. I think I even won one gold in track and field, even though I was a swimmer. I just never got out of breath.

That's cheating. Yeah. Well, you know, if you're going to make fun of a dolphin, maybe this isn't the podcast for you. I love dolphins. Why? Why do you love them? I'm curious, because I think I love them too, but what's your affinity for dolphins? They're so smart.

They're, they're so smart. Like, I mean, I'm dressed as one right now. I'm wearing blue. This is why I'm dressed as a dolphin. Oh, because you love dolphins so much. Yeah. You know, my hair, it's wavy, like the waves. Oh, your hair is stunning.

Like, it's great. Like, it's just, like, I'm going to sound like an effeminate hair dresser right now. Yeah. I don't even know where this is coming from. But the volume to your hair. Oh, thank you. The volume, the light, the texture. Thank you.

I mean, it's just fabulae. Thank you. Your hair is fabulous. Well, these are plugs. Oh. Yeah, a pair of plugs. Okay. Plugs are fabulous.

Yeah. I got them from choir boys from Finland. Got these imported. Yeah. Very sharp. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah.

No, I don't have plug, but people say I've got good hair. You have great hair. Which I'm kind of happy about, you know? I'm like, you got two ways to go as a guy, bald or your hair stays in. So far, my hair's staying in. But I think you're diverting away from your beautiful crop. Like you definitely have, there's hair and then there's hair. Like I would use your hair as like a sleeping bag, like if I was lost in the woods.

If we were hiking, I would just wrap your hair around me to keep me warm. I would use your hair as a carpet. If we were in a cabin and there was a bear skin rug, I'd roll up the bear, throw it outside, lay your hair out. I mean, just, it's silky, soft. It makes sense why you changed your voice that day. And you were not dressed in a costume, Arland? It's me. This is creepy.

You want to go for a swim? No. But you know what bugs me about dolphins? Because one of the first thing you said is they're smart, right? They're so smart. And that's what they say. They say, not chimps, not gorillas, not monkeys, not pigs. To humans, they go, dolphins are the second smartest entity on the planet, living creature.

Yeah. And I go, okay, I go to SeaWorld and I bring my taxes. You'd think something that's like second to humans could at least do my basic taxes. Couldn't even do two plus two, the dumb fuck. You know what? You are judging the dolphin on what it doesn't want to. do, Harland. Oh, wait. Yeah. So you're, oh, I'm judging it on land stuff. I'm his lawyer and I'm standing up for this dolphin because you right now are, this is a defamation case. This is libel on that

beautiful dolphin. His name was, that was its name. Oh my God, I knew his sister. Yeah. You did. Yeah. And you still have the audacity to speak ill of my client. Wow. I am now a British lawyer. lawyer, a British dolphin lawyer. And how dare you? Benjamin Franklin or Albert Einstein. Or Newton, shoot, don't, I forgot, who said this? You've also forgot your accent.

I did. Listen. Yes, I'm listening. If you judge a fish by the, um, by its ability to climb up the wall. Right. You are diminishing that fish's intelligence. Right.

So that's what I'm trying to say about my client. Well, I think you've just lost your client's case right away because you labeled your client a fish wherein dolphins are mammals love. So I'm afraid you're fired. Objection. Yes. Yes. Objection.

PSM? He essay. ESA what? Hearsay. Oh, hearsay. I don't even know what that means, but hearsay and I object. Wow, it's just a legal term. You knew hearsay.

Hearsay is evidence or, or, I think it's evidence that has no proof. It's, it's hearsay. It's like conjecture. It's like, oh, it's something someone said, but there's nothing to back it up. So it's not concrete evidence. It's considered hearsay. It's like ambiguous. See, and that's what you think the definition is.

The real definition is you heard me say that I'm representing a dolphin. Are you becoming British again? Which is close to a fish. And that's why it's hearsay, because you heard me say dolphin, but now you hit. Wait a minute. How smart can a dolphin be? If they're the second smartest, they're mammals and they live in the water. Okay, they live in the water and they breathe.

That to me is a dumb ass. Hey, stupid, you're an air breather. Get up here. We got a lawn chair for you and some Hawaiian punch. Let's go, anus forehead. Do they shit out of their heads? How do we know it's a blowhole? Maybe that's their asshole.

Objection, you are now. She's British again. Here we go. You drift in and out of British more than Prince Harriet an orgy. Wait, what does that mean? You're not trying to be counseled on this podcast. Holland? Holland?

I'm not trying to... Suddenly I'm Holland, the country of Holland. I'm not trying to be counseled on this podcast, Holland. I'm not trying to be counseled right now. No, now you're Australian now. Man, you are like the I-hop of accents over there. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Actually, you know, speaking of I-Hop and American diners, I used to work at Denny's. No way. Yeah, true story. I was a daddy's graveyard server when I was 19 years old. True story. I knew a girl who was a waitress at IHOP, and she only had one leg. And I used to ask her, how do you get to work?

And she said, I hop. Yeah, she was a traitor. She worked at our enemies. I think you missed it. Yeah, I did. I said, I hop. No, I heard it. I just pretended I didn't.

Wait, you worked at a Denny's? Yes. Well, come on. Yeah, I was 19. Why weren't you at Hooters like all the other gorgeous girls? I object. Oh, God, I've done it. I've stepped in it again.

I objected. You've been objectified. I immediately said you should have been at Hooters because you're pretty. Yeah. You caught yourself, Holland. I caught myself. Yeah, you're right. You belong at Denny's.

Why were you, why did you get a job at Denny's? Because I didn't want to objectify myself. Yeah. You know, I wanted to. prove that I could just be a blue collar hardcore working with the elbow grease and blue collar yeah I don't have a collar right now but if I did it would be blue because it would match your blue dress wait so how how long did you work at Denny's I was there for about two years that long yeah I started as a hostess a morning hostess oh wow they're the best hostesses of all the

morning ones. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. The later the day goes on at Denny's, the little grislier it becomes. And you know, we still have to say good morning, even if it was like 5 p.m. and I was there. No way. Yeah, we'd be like, good morning. Everyone would look at us like, you're crazy. So you go in at five in the afternoon and you're standing there going, good morning. Good morning. Yeah. And isn't that just a way for corporate Denny's team corporate Denny's to trick the employees so that they work a really long shift. Just tell them it's morning all day. They won't know. We'll squeeze extra hours out of them. Probably. I mean, I remember. I remember going in in the morning and then I would have a graveyard shift at night. And so I would come in like around 9 p.m. leave around 4 a.m. And then

sometimes it'd be like 12 a.m. to 7 a.m. Then I'd get like a big cup of coffee. Yeah. And then drive to school. And so, like... Wait, how old were you? At this time, I was... Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No?

Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what... You want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping.

And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your... privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adameneve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy, or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast.

So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. 19. So be honest. Because you're obviously. very beautiful girl. You know, you get a lot of sort of blue collar truck driver types. I love Denny's. I used to go all the time.

I'd play hockey. We'd go to Denny's after. I love, like, mostly for their breakfast. I'm not big on the other food they have there, but bacon and eggs. Was there a lot of, like, sort of like, you know, were there people making comments, or there are people, like, you know, hitting on you a lot at the thing? Yeah, it happened a lot. I mean, dude, there was a lot of people that would dine and dash, you know.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. I would serve 10, 10 top tables. They'd come in, they'd order. 10 people? Yeah, 10 people. And then they would just dip. All 10 of them?

Yeah, they would just run. One time I ran after a table. I was like, no, you're not. And I just went running after them. Yeah, I was. Because, yeah, I was going to say, if it's just one person, you can eat at Denny's, you can stuff your face for like $3.99. Yeah.

And you're going to be like, like, like okay but 10 people that's at least 2099 you know i mean you got to chase that minimum yeah oh wow yeah and did you catch them i remember not this particular table i mean how far could they run if they're at denny's they got to be fatties they were running for people they got to be most of the denies eaters are the fatties oh we would get some really uh fit night clubbers though at two in the morning We'd get the 2 a.m. What do you mean fit? Like, they were dancing all night.

Oh, so they were ripped. Yeah. And then they'd come in and cause chaos. Really, the ravers? Yeah, not the ravers, but the club that was right around us, I worked at the Wilshire and Western location. And there was a club right, this was over a decade ago. Yeah.

Just kidding. It was two years ago. I'm not trying to age myself. Hollywood, I'm 21 right now. We're going to have to edit that one out. Too late. Too late. You busted love.

So, objection, PSA, you just heard me say it, and I take it back. No, so I remember the club rush would come in, and they would cause chaos. They'd get on top of the tables. They'd be just swinging their eggs and hash rounds in the air. No, no joke. Like, it was madness. They were swinging their eggs in the air? That's got to hurt when you rip out your own fallopian tube.

He-ha! Anyone got some sperms? Full moon over my granny. Wow. I am not going to get canceled on this podcast. Too late. We were canceled about 10 minutes ago. I think when we were doing the dolphin glory whole bit, we got canceled right there.

So before we keep going, let's tell people a bit about you. Because you're so interesting because you, you know, we first met you do stand-up comedy, right? How long have you been doing comedy for? For about five years, five six years maybe, yeah. But then, let me put my peepers on because your list is like you do, I want to go through these too if you're cool with it. So you do stand-up, which is amazing, but you're a mindfulness coach and a mental health

health motivational speaker and then you also put down an ADHD or whatever right ADHD or what's the I don't even know what that means my ADHD or is that yeah is that for people with like don't have attention span attention deficit yeah hyperactivity yeah wow but before we do I want to know because I don't know if everyone knows what a mindfulness coach is are you do you want to talk about that or is that like boring or do you yeah are you kidding no it's Yeah, I'm interested in that. So, but I've heard of life coaches, but I haven't heard of like a mindfulness coach to explain. My practice, it deals with, oh, hold on, I need to do that.

Are you getting emotional? Oh. So my practice. And what I do is I really help people. a lot of people might need to help yourself right now so yeah what is it really so mindfulness coaching what I do in my practice is I help people with meditation how to establish practices that are going to help them a lot with overcoming anxiety depression stress management ADHD management these are all tools that I have used these are all tools that I use every single day yeah these are

tools that I have heavily researched for over a decade, and I've studied neuroscience for over five, six years. Gosh, I can't even remember now. Wow. Yeah, I went to school for psych. I've been studying this. So you're qualified to do this stuff. Yeah, and I help a lot of people with overcoming anxiety and stress and depression and, again, ADHD management. Like learning the tools to help and calm your central nervous system. Yeah. right, so that we can be grounded in the present moment versus wherever the mind wants to take us, which the mind can take us to catastrophizing things, or it can take us to the past, but it's about being grounded in the present moment.

Raid in the moment. Are you one of these people, it's like don't dwell on the past, don't anticipate the future, just be present. Is that kind of? Yes and no. Like, yes, of course, but also there's understanding as to, why somebody would dwell in the past and why somebody would be anxiously anticipating the future. And so we dive into the neuroscience behind the brain, and then I help them rewire, you know.

Oh, wow. That's pretty heavy. Yeah, I helped them rewire unhealthy coping behaviors into positive new ones using our brain's neuroplasticity, which is a fancy way of saying our brain can create positive new neurons and connections so that we can create the life of our dreams. And I'm living proof of it. Wow, I want to get into that in a second, but first we need to dissect the term neuroplasticity.

Yeah. Because I know what it means. But these, the people watching, Donnie Lickrish Lips and Betty Barnacle Bottom, there's Sarah Sunblast face. Yeah, Sunblast face. Yeah. And there's Carol Captain Crunch-Twatt.

Wow. Yeah, they're all watch. They all watch. I know what brain neuroplasticity means. I, duh, hello. Look at me. But them, if you can tell them what it means, they don't understand the big brain neuroplospospitaly things. Yeah. Hey, what's up everybody? Yeah, tell them. Just then talk slowly maybe to them. So the fact of neuroplasticity is our brain's way to create new neurons and new behavior patterns that we can then shift into our desired reality by creating new behavior patterns that we can then meditate and then do. breath work and then new gratitude and then do positive affirmations. And these are all the things that help us really, really, really fulfill

our life's mission. Was that slow? That was a little too slow. Sworn, that was pretty slow. If you could go just one more time, but just slow it up even more than what you just did. Okay, okay, okay. Like slow it as slow. Okay.

Our. Great, great. I think they got it. I think, well, now you're. Plasticity. Okay. So, no. Wow, you're like the bionic woman.

Just bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo. It's a big word. It's, I don't know if I, to be honest, I don't know if I've ever heard brain neuroplasticity. Yeah. Is that for real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and it sounds like, like, it sounds like a supervillain in like, like, like, like Aquaman comic or something.

That would be so fun, by the way. Like brain neuroplasticity, man. But what is it? It's a very fancy word. It's basically, it's a fancy word to say our brain has the capacity to rewire itself and to build and create new neurons to build new connections in our brain so that we can rewire our unhealthy coping skills and create positive new ones that are going to serve us in this current phase.

in life that we are in because a lot of us have unhealthy coping skills that we give an example of an unhealthy coping skill for them i know what they are but they don't absolutely and an example would be um heavy drinking okay you know like alcoholism but yeah there's there's a reason why that was where it came from yes exactly but wait a minute before we dip into that when you say your neurons get destroyed. Can your neurons be destroyed by drinking and your brain cells can be destroyed. Your brain cells are destroyed by drinking and smoking pot and all that stuff. Well, I don't, I don't, I don't want to get too into the, like, let me rephrase that whole line. Well, I don't know about the whole smoking pot. Like, I don't haven't researched that. Okay, okay. So I can't say that for sure,

but I can for sure say that alcohol does. Kills brain cells. Yes. And do those brain cells ever regenerate or are they just gone? Are they just history? You can definitely create neurons in the brain. Okay. But if somebody is a heavy drinker and is, you know, leaning more towards the alcoholism route,

then it's, I mean, there's damage there, right? But, again, I want to speak on what I do know. You know that. These behaviors, they stem from coping, right? Like, they stem from trying to cope with something, trying to cope with stress or trying to cope with anxiety or depression. Okay. You know, or even ADHD, addiction is also, it's a gene, you know?

It's a gene? Addiction is. It can be passed on through. It can be passed on, but it doesn't mean that you have to become that, fulfill that legacy. Yeah, exactly. Like, you are in control. of your own life. Yeah, I've heard that many alcoholics,

they're, it's a gene you can pass on the alcoholism gene. And for some reason, I remember hearing it's prevalent in women, in like the girls, the girl's siblings. Objection. Yes. That's hearsay, because I don't know where that information came from. Yeah, it's coming somewhere in my foggy memory from a long time ago. Maybe the female dolphins that you used? Maybe, maybe.

But I remember hearing that it popped up. And the reason I remember is because back in college, I dated a girl who I was nuts about and her father was an alcoholic. And being sort of a young kid in my late teens, early 20s, I heard that. And so now that became a factor in, oh, do I want to go down the road where I had heard some research from somewhere. I can't remember one. This is a while back where they said, more often than not,

the alcoholism gene becomes prevalent in the daughters more than the sons. Now, I don't know if it's true, but it's something I heard back then. And it kind of made me, put me on guard like, ooh, do I want to keep going down the road with this girl? I mean, it wasn't the only factor, but it was something I never thought about, you know? Yeah. I haven't read that. I haven't heard that. It could be Totally wrong, but remember, this is something I heard way back when, so I don't want to put that on you. And, yeah, and I can speak from experience that my grandparents, they, um, both male grandparents were heavy alcoholics. Oh, wow. But I, I mean, I didn't develop, my dad didn't develop that gene.

Oh, good. You know, I didn't develop that gene. You never, you're never into the sauce. I shouldn't even say develop that gene. I don't know if that's the right terminology to use, but I inherit that gene. There you go. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I didn't. yeah oh good did you ever hit the sauce did you drink at all like just you know yeah of course like you know socially yeah yeah once in a but i've never been a drink i've never been a drinker like that's never been my thing i don't like how i feel on it personally like it's yeah yeah yeah of course you know yeah again the the reason why i even brought that up with with alcoholism is because these are all coping skills these are all unhealthy coping skills that are just masking, you know, a deeper rooted thing that someone's trying to soothe. It's a soothing, it's an unhealthy soothing mechanism, like coping.

Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah. And so I help people get down to the root of why, like, where their anxiety stemming from. And then we help, like. And did you create your own technique, your own kind of, your own method of doing it? You just kind of carved it out of trial and error and research and. and put together your own thing that you can sort of apply on mass to whoever comes in.

It's something you found that works with the average person. Yes. Oh, that's pretty cool. Thank you. I must have taken a lot of work, though, to do that, right? Like years and years and years? Years and years and years. I have over a decade of course work and school work and, you know, experience with it as well,

with my own ways of developing it and studying it, heavy, And are you constantly evolving it is it keeps, it keeps changing and you're finding new add-ons and oh, that's pretty incredible. That's some heady stuff. Thanks. Yeah. And it's got to be rewarding because obviously you're helping people where a lot of this stuff is addictions and trauma and deep, you know, whatever's going on inside psychologically. So people come to you and is it like a, is it like sort of like a psych where you kind of work with you until you feel there's resolution or is it like six weeks and you're out or like how do you operate with you kind of like would you stick with someone for four years if like donnie had all these issues and you felt you were getting progress but it took

four years to break through or you like hey i do a six week thing and then off you go on your own well great question thank you very much great question uh Arlen, thank you. Now I'm exhausted. I need a nap. Excuse me. On the podcast, Harland?

On the podcast? On the podcast? But your answer? My answer is, well, here's the thing. It depends on what they come to me for. But absolutely, I always remind everyone, hey, this isn't an overnight thing. It's an open door. This is going to be, yeah, this is going to be a long-term journey.

And sometimes it can be a lot quicker than you think. Yeah. You know, and sometimes it may take a little longer than you think. And that's okay because we are rewiring. We are rewiring things. We are learning to soothe in different ways. We are developing the necessary skills in order for us to build that resiliency, that empowerment from within, you know, versus just a quick fix.

Oh, here's a two-week thing. And then you're all saying, no, this is, this is, this is, psyche what tends to be the sort of wheelhouse duration of your sessions with people like is it tend to be around three four weeks or is it longer or is it days is it hours so my clients I see them for one hour like every session that we have is an hour session on a zoom or in person yeah and then sometimes um I do weekly biweekly and then I can see them like once every three weeks once a month I have clients where I see once a month.

And it depends. Like, I have clients right now who I've been seeing for about three years. I have another client who I've been seeing for two. I have a few clients that I've been seen for about a year. And then I have a client who, in less than a year, was able to help overcome her anxiety, her social anxiety and depression through our work together. And then now she's on her way. And I'm so proud of her.

Actually, I have... three clients that just graduated. Wow. Well, before we get two, because I don't want to wait until the end, like while we're in this, to tell people where they can reach out to you and find help if they want it or work with you. Absolutely.

You can see me at the Harland Highway. Hey, here we go. Just come on over here and sit down with us. We'll get you through it. Yeah, no, I mean, thank you to all the listeners, by the way, and for your support. You can find me at official Brenda Z on Instagram and my website, Brenda Sarai-Suniga.com.

But on my Instagram, there's a link tree where you can schedule consultations with me. You can, you know, see more of my work. You can see more of my podcast, my content and things like that. Great. Well, that's good work, man. That's rewarding work when you can help people. Thank you.

I sort of look at doing this podcast to a degree is there's so many elements to doing it, but one element of it is the joy that I have doing it and talking to people like you and all the guests that come on and sometimes I'll do a solo episode. But also you get feedback from people who said they've had a horrible day or they were depressed or they were down or they just maybe they're having a great day and you add to it by throwing some laughter on it and that's that's really a rewarding sort of um you know thing that comes from doing all this so i love it in a way laughter yeah laughter is the best medicine so there's a there is an element of healing to that yeah can you imagine if that actually was how that that existed in the in the

medical world there's new research by the way yes and there's new um i attend a lot of conferences I just spoke at UCLA last year. And they are starting to incorporate laughter. As a medicine? As a type of treatment as well. Yes. So they're with mindfulness too. Mindfulness.

When I speak on mindfulness and I bring the neuroscience aspect to it, you know, now they're starting to listen more. But in the past, when I would bring up mindfulness to the medical community, they'd be like, oh, that's woo-woo. that's oh you're just going to sit there and like meditate no but it's like you're as you're breathing as you're centering yourself yeah are okay so what's happening in the brain i'm about to get real here we go here we go please here we go let me fix my wig okay okay okay okay great hair bring it thank you from philland right made in philland norway yeah not holland holland tomorrow holland right now

oh so we switch it up yeah i like to move my hair plugs around damn sometimes i put them on my ass if it gets cold out objection well nothing wrong with a hairy ass well that's hearsay hair say hair spray yeah say hair spray yeah but wait before you dip into the science i just had this vision if if laughter becomes a legit medicine yeah i'm picturing some guy in the hospital and the doctor walks out goes excuse me mr johnson hate to inform you but you've got an inoperable cancerous brain tumor. And the guy's like, oh, my God, is there anything you can do? And the doctor's like, well, sir, knock, knock.

Who's there? Inoperable cancer's brain tumor. You're going to die, motherfucker? We better be careful what we wish for. Can I hold on to the mic? Yeah, hold it with both hands. Just cradle it and just keep it away from your tracheotomy. there she goes

there she goes dynamite we got canceled we got canceled like 45 minutes ago hey everybody check out my merchandise at harbling.com

yeah most people just slap some letters or images on a t-shirt or a hoodie but not me yours truly guess what I draw my own design At Harbleng.com, you can see tons of my hand-drawn t-shirts. You can either buy the original or you can buy a print.

And man, oh man, wear them loud and proud. I love making these designs for you guys and keeping it personal. So check out the whole catalog. We got hoodies. We got coffee mugs. We got t-shirts. You name it. It's there at Harbleng.

Get your Harland original design, wearable art at harbling.com today. And thank you for your support, and I'll just keep the groovy images coming. Can I make another comment, too, before you dip into the science? Yes, of course. Because I want to go back real quick to how we were talking about alcohol kills brain cells. And I've known that since. as a kid, they taught us that in high school and like in grade 10 health where they're trying to discourage kids from drinking kills brain cells. But then you look at like a raving alcoholic like

Hemingway, let's say, who was, he was a known, just a lush, a huge alcoholic. And you've got to ask yourself, how many brain cells do we have? If a guy like that is like just getting hammersmithed every day, going out and fishing for Marlin, like completely plastered, and then he comes back and sits down and write, you know, the old man in the sea and, you know, all his, what do you write, Warren Peace or all his, all his books, the flowers in the attic, not his, but you don't know that. But it makes you wonder, like, like, if it really kills your brain, so it's like, isn't it sort of like, you know, when you turn over one of those sand timer things, like, aren't, don't,

shouldn't you, like, because most people drink, shouldn't we all be just like, raving dummies? by now. Like how many brain cells are in there? Trillions? Great question. I will research that when I get off this podcast. Right? Because even the most severe alcoholics, like some of them can be very high functioning. And, you know, I think when you meet people that maybe are really severe like homeless people in the street, they might have mental health issues and they might have thrown in crack and opioids and oxy cotton. So those are people that I don't kind of put in that category. They're kind of like off the chart, wild cards.

But just a traditional like drinker. Like, you know, a lot of rock stars, a lot of artists, a lot of like Jackson Pollock was a big alcoholic, like so many high achievers. How do they not go from being high achievers to, I mean, I'm sure their health diminishes, but how is it that their brains don't hit a point where, okay, buddy, you've just drank like 300 gallons of vodka in your life, you just diminished over half your brain cells. How are they, I don't know, I guess,

I wonder if brain cells regenerate or something. I don't know. I don't know that science. Neither do they. Well, I will say this. I do know some high functioning, you know. Alkees? Yes, people who are very successful and who drink a lot.

And it's their way of soothing. but they're they're not they're not positively soothing and it is affecting them yeah affecting them whether they want to admit it or not just because somebody is showing up on paper or showing up to clock in doesn't mean that internally they are successful or that they're feeling good internally you know people here's the thing people will go through great lengths to pretend like they're okay. Mask. People will go to the greatest of lengths to mask, to make everybody else believe that

they're okay and they're able to function and they're able to do things. Meanwhile, they are, you know, killing themselves on the inside. Yeah. And they're deteriorating on the inside. So. Yeah, it's like waves on the shore. It's just slowly eroding the shoreline. It's kind of like when somebody says that a dolphin is stupid because they can't do taxes.

Yeah. I'm never going to, I'm never going to let that go. That's what she said. Now, but let's abandon the science for a minute. All this stuff. By the way, great work. Great. So get in touch if you want to work with you. Thank you.

And, but the other element, which is, you know, I love it when beauty and brains collide. And you were, because I haven't met a lot of people who have ever been in a. legit beauty pageant. Oh, yeah. You were like, weren't you miss, like, what city or town were you, you were in like a legit beauty pageant, a few of them, right? Mm-hmm. I was Miss Toluca Lake in 2018.

Nice. Tulika Lake USA. And then I was Ms. Burbank in 2019. Wow. And I became a semi-finalist at Miss California, USA. Wow. Two times. What's that like, like being in that environment?

because we just see the beautiful women parading out. They're smiling. It's almost like you said. They're masking what's backstage. I remember at one point in my career, I did this show called Star Search back in the 80s with Ed McMahon, and it was kind of the original American Idol, but it was for singers, comedians, models, dancers.

Everyone would come as like America's got talent, but everyone would come out and compete. And I went on as a comedian. in thinking, oh my God, this is going to be so fun and I'm doing comedy and I'm laughing and there's going to be all the other. And backstage, it was so competitive. A lot of the categories were for kids, like kid dancers, kid singers, and the parents were backstage because they just lumped all the talent together. You get out there and you sing and this is for your, this is for your future and this is for your, and that kid over there, you can be like, and I was just like mortified because I went

into, hey, I'm doing some jokes. on television and so my question to you is women can be catty women can be competitive was it like that backstage at a at a beauty pageant or was everyone sort of friendly and were they fake friendly or what was it you tell me yeah great question another one that's two okay for those of you in podcast land joe rogan theo von bill burr all you guys with your big fancy podcast. I just asked two really great questions in the span of 50 minutes. So this was for you. I didn't know that's where he was going to go. So that's why I did this. And then he did that. I think you're having a flashback to Denny's. You're like your scrambled eggs, sir?

This was a trauma response right here. These are your trauma scrambled eggs? This is my full moon over therapy. Fantastic. Oh, see, there's another one, dynamite. All right, so tell me about the backstage hijinks and what it was like. No, it was, it was so much fun. I actually now, I now am the first ever mindfulness coach. I'm the first ever mindfulness coach for the Miss California USA organization.

Wow. And I'm the first official sponsor ever. What? So, you know, and I, I loved it. I had so much fun. Everybody is really kind backstage. They were. They were.

Really? It's a lot of very beautiful, internally beautiful, empowered girls that young women who truly, like, just want to make this world a better place. And I really love that. And I wouldn't back anything that I didn't believe or was passionate about. And so, I mean, these young women are incredible. Oh, that's really good to hear. but there wasn't like one or two that were just like you could see them like talking about the other girls or trying to intimidate you're like you're not going to get you're going to go out in no shoes like there was none of that I find it hard to believe in something that's so competitive that there was no kind of you know kind of animosity or like kind of nerve rattling type of stuff I personally didn't experience that you know that's good to hear I personally didn't but I'm I mean in a

competitive environment like you were saying i can't imagine that at the higher levels like there maybe something yeah but i'm just speaking of personal experience like i i didn't experience any of that great but oh my god here we go you when you brought up pageants yeah that's how we met but i don't know if you remember the first time oh yeah i was um i was miss uh eagle rock no i was miss palm dale that year. You were. Is that the one we met at? I could have sworn it was City of Industry.

Oh, no, I know. I was Miss Bakersfield. Yeah, I lost to a truck driver. Yeah, the guy I'm driving a shell truck. Damn it, I was so close. You had hairier legs, a bigger man tips. We're going to have to cut that out. Well, we will.

Speaking of hairy legs, speaking of hairy legs. Yes. I have hairy legs. You super. a really long time growing up. Oh, don't ruin it. Don't ruin it. You just, please don't.

That's what we're going to cut out. I'm going to save your eyes. No, you did. You had big hairy legs? When I was a child. But like, yes, I looked like Bigfoot's sister when I was in middle school. Wait, how old are we talking? I was maybe like 12.

I'm going to news flash. Not even boys have hair on their legs at 12. Listen, I'm Mexican. You're a Mexican boy? I looked like a warring. You know I said later I wanted to roll up. in your hair on the carpet and I think I'm gonna can I pull that one back a little okay no I guess we'll be camping on brokeback mountain then okay wait so wait wait wait fast forward

wait yeah uh okay listen I'm listening I got I got hearing apparatus is on I'm extra listening I'm trying to remember okay oh you said you had hairy boy legs okay but we'll go back to that Oh, God, do we have to? What's your butt crack look like? When? Okay. Anywho. Yeah, no.

Tell me about, you had the hairy boy legs and you were 12. I looked like a Wolverine Dora the Explorer. I'm trying to be vulnerable right now. Wow, you are. Do you want to cry? Let it out weep a little. You were Wolverine the Explorer. Oh, little Wolverine the Explorer with little parrot on your shoulder and your knife fingers.

Oh. It was really awful. I had the, like, hairy legs. God. Did you ever rub them together at night and make cricket noises? Yeah, it would make fires. You made fires out in the woods by rubbing your hairy boy legs together? And then fun fact, fun, serious fact, fun real fact.

As an act of rebellion, I would shave, like, a little airport landing strip on my leg. You had a Brazilian on your leg? On your leg. It's like, no, it wasn't a full Brazilian because then that my whole legs would be shaved. Oh. But, like, no, it was like a little... Landing strip. Little hairless patch.

Oh, so it was a reverse landing strip. Yeah, to, like, piss off my mom. Your mom got mad because there was a bald patch on your leg? Yeah. Because she wouldn't let me shave my legs. Why? She always wanted a boy. Oh, your mother wished she'd had a boy.

So now we're uncovering some trauma on this podcast, aren't we? Yeah, should I be charging you? I think so. She always wanted a boy. She always wanted a hairy boy. And then you shaved part of it off and you faced her wrath. What did you ever do with your mustache? Oh, well, oh.

Goodbye, mother. Goodbye, Mother. Your little boy must go out into the world. Maybe my name should be Brendan. Yeah. Or Larry. Never, Larry. Come on.

Touchy little boy, aren't you? That's what the priest said. I'm not going to get canceled. No, so. So how hairy are we talking like, like full on? Like you could see the hair? Was it that young kid like sort of half invisible? siliated hair.

Okay, so picture Bigfoot? Yeah. His sister. Wow. Yeah. So Prada foot. What? Prada foot?

Prada foot? Don't women like the Prada footwear? I want a female Bigfoot be wearing Prada with the red heels? If you mean lubaton heels with the red? No, thanks. I'd do it without it. Didn't you okay?

It was bad. I would wear shorts. Oh, come on. It was so bad. I'm not kidding. I feel like that's where I developed my personality. I had to survive. I was not pretty.

I was not attractive. Did the kids, did the boys and the other girls, like, point out that you had hairy legs? All the time. My first boyfriend, I was 12 years old. And I'm pretty sure that the only reason why he said yes, you know, after me asking him, would you be my boyfriend? Like, I'm pretty sure he was like, ah, don't eat me. And that's the only reason why he said yes.

Or maybe he was gay. Thought you were a boy. Now we're uncovering even more trauma. Yeah. Keep it coming, girl. I'm here for you. I have my own methods, too. Did you also study over 12 years?

15. 15. Yeah. With a priest. Wow. Well, if I count my high school experience, I'm not going to, you know what? I was about to age myself, and now I didn't. I'm 21 years old.

Somebody's masking. I know it hurts. Let it out. I wish I was a boy now. You are. Looking your underpants right now. It's there. I am not going to be canceled, hard.

that I take all of that back right now. Oh, my gosh. You don't get canceled for having hairy boy legs. That's what my mom wanted this whole time. She wanted a boy. Yeah. That's why she wouldn't let me shave my legs. Are you and your mom on good terms?

Yeah, we're on great terms. We're on, we get off on the right foot. Well, maybe one day you grow the hair back and take her out and play soccer. We could get off on the love. left foot, too, but we got off on the right foot. But she said. So that's... That I hop.

That makes sense why I would go to Denny's. That makes sense why I rejected I hop for so long. Yeah. Oh, my God. Good morning. I'm your hairy boy. Can I seat you? Wow.

Yeah. It all makes sense, Harland. Yeah. That's why you're here. That's why I'm here doing what I do. You thought you were here to help heal. me and I turned the tables around on you like I do with all my guests. They all leave here feeling fuller, more stabilized, as do my viewers, all seven of them. Tanya Teeth, Tunker Tunk, little

Eskimo girl and Billy Blastoff lips over there in the corner. And there he is, Shane Shamwow teeth. Wow, Shamwow. Yeah, he can really absorb his own saliva. Wow. Didn't they have dolphins in that Shamwell commercial. They did, but they dried up. Yikes. Yeah. That's awful. Can we cut to,

because this is the big beauty pageant thing. What is it when the women, like, develop Parkinson's disease when they win? Like, I mean, it's always like, ah,

like the fingers are gone. Right away, it's like you win, you're getting Parkinson's. They're like, ah, the fingers are trembling. They're, Head's going, ah! Listen, we are under a lot of pressure up there. Okay, so pageantry is so much more

than just standing up on stage and waving, but there's techniques, there's walking techniques, there's closing techniques, there's smiling techniques, there's, you can't touch your hair, you have to stand this way, you have to do this, you have to, and then the way you speak, the way you conduct, it's a performance. It really, it's a very technical. Do us a favor as a little behind the curtain scene. Go from just a normal face, no teeth, lips closed, into a full on, I'll go three, two, one, and flash the beauty page and smile as you've developed it. Is that cool?

So we can see what that looks like? I don't know what that looks like. Oh, I thought you said you had it all, like, planned out. Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I have amnesia. Miss Amnesia, 24, ladies and gentlemen. So go with closed lips, and I'll go three, two, one, and then you flash your beauty queen smile. Ready?

Okay. I'll let you fix your hair. Y'all set? Mm-hmm. I got it then like, wapow. Okay. Don't give it away yet. Ready?

Here we go. Three, two, one. Just kidding. We don't wave. We can't do this. Stunning. We can't wave this. You did it.

We can't wave. It's beautiful, though. Who saw the wave? We were blinded by your beautiful teeth. All of the incredible. Samantha Tonka Tonk. Oh. From Louisville.

Louisville, yeah. Shane Shamwell saw it. Oh, Shane Shamwell. No saliva. Sorry, Shane. Yeah. I messed all of that up. I'm sorry.

I just keep thinking about how my name should have been Brandon. Yeah. Well, shouldn't it be, you said little Mexican boy. Shouldn't you have sort of a more of a Latino name? my name should have been brandon little hairy brandon yeah okay so pageantry um yeah as i was saying um that's scream it's very technical it's very technical and why do why do we shake when when we yeah what is what is that like like why can't why do all of them do it why can't you just go ah i won what's what the you know we because we prepped a lot for that so that's just like a release yeah but yeah okay

release we are so ecstatic because it took a lot to get there but you don't see people like at the olympics you don't see people at the Oscars they it's a human they they're not like i just i just won the high jump you know i just got an oscar for field of dreams oh really really you've never seen anyone at the Oscars be like oh my god no i'm talking about the traditional oh like the hands up like well there's nothing really else we can do if they're putting the crown on our head and then we're just standing there waiting it's just a release i actually stole it well i did a scene i did a movie called rocket man and one of the greatest films ever thank you so much oh yeah and we did a scene where it gets announced who the three astronauts are who are going to go to mars we're at a press conference and i'm sitting there i'm one of the technicians and i don't think i'm going because you get all these qualified guys and so the scene was they announced the first two names and then the third name they announced me and and I'm going to Mars and in the script they had it my character's name was Fred when Fred finds out that he's been picked as the final member of the first team to ever go to Mars he faints and I said to

the director I said what is funny about fainting that that was probably done in the first five maybe first comedies ever made by Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton fainting was probably to see a grown man faint was probably hilarious yeah we're in the 90s now okay what this is the punchline fainting this guy's about to be the first guy to go to another planet yeah and he faint and i said i said let me have one take where i'm going to do the beauty queen scream when he find when you announce his name and he goes oh come on i said i said trust me give me one take and he was sort of like and i told the sound guy i said you know the guy with the boom mic I said, stand back.

I am going to scream like I just got about to be hit by a subway. Yeah. And so the director gave me one take and they announced my go, and our final member to go to Mars, astronaut Fred Randall. And I just went, ah, I screamed as loud as I. And I borrowed it from that. And it became a trailer moment. It became one of the funniest moments in the whole movie.

Like it was like, so I always have kind of a connection to the, The Beauty Queen Scream. That is so cool. Thanks for sharing that. You're welcome. That'll be $40, please. That's such a cool tidbit. I didn't know that.

Tidbit. You don't hear that anymore. Tidbit. I hear it sometimes down at the circumcision center, but I like that word. Tidbit. Oh, yeah. You hear that a lot on that. They'll throw it around down there, tidbit.

No, like a lot. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Maybe too much. Any tidbits today? Sure. We have a mountain of them, you know. You've got a whole bucket of tidbits.

Yeah, buckets. Are we allowed to go down the road because, you know, beautiful girl, beautiful guy, talking about beauty, pageants, men, women. I do this thing. And it can be as blue or as clean as you want it to be. Okay. We pull out the love thing. What?

And what we do is we reach in there. there's words, we each get a word and then we combine the word to assist our viewers and it becomes a new lovemaking technique and we describe how the technique works. So I'll go, we'll both reach in and grab a word. Don't look. Okay. So I've got a word. Now you go into the love box and pull out a word. Let me put my peepers on. I'm not trying to cheat. Yeah, I don't cheat. Okay, I got my word. Okay. You have your word?

I do. Okay, read your word out loud. It seems to be a new word. We are developing in the English vocabulary, and it is a caterpillar. Caterpillar. No, no, not Caterpillar. Oh, it was misspelled? Caererpillar.

Mr. Caterpillar. So it's Caterpillar. Somebody, probably one of my employees, who works here at the Harland Highway, misspelled it wasn't me it was one of them one of them one of my many workers who i are working behind the scenes but in the office upstairs on the fourth fifth and six floors one of those guys her girls probably misspelled it but wasn't me it's okay it happens yeah you better not do anything to them it happens it's not a big deal we'll have a meeting we'll have a meeting oh it's not a big deal i'm not going to fire anyone but i'm in a reprimand i mean who doesn't know how to spell catar

No, no. That was okay. You know what? Then I take it back. It says caterpillar. It's okay. I don't, don't get them in trouble. It's okay. I didn't get them in trouble. I think you did. I did. Now I feel bad. Somebody's going to lose their job so beauty boy, Mexican beauty, queen boy can live. Now, so my word is potato. Cool. So the new sex act is called the potato caterpillar. Okay. And how it works is, as you know, a potato has many eyes on it. And a caterpillar has many legs. So what you do, the potato caterpillar is a technique where you cover the eyes.

Okay. And you spread the legs. I got a... Oh, what? For a second. Cut? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Only because this has to be cut. Eyes. I'm watching. Spreading caterpillar legs. I'm so done. Oh, can you say that.

Oh, la, Are you fluent in Spanish? Are you fluent in Spanish? I am. For suppose, that's a volcano Parangarachutrimicoro. You know,

potato and carapiller? What do you know what I'm going to? Catapella and I'm actually about a matriotas is Parangaracutrimicor that is Parangaracutermikarol

that can't be a grand It's paragotas Oh, my tonicita Mytikoron, I'm a bit of you I'm a bit of a bit of an Okay

Okay. I agree. I agree. I agree. That was a... Are we shaking? I'm handing you at Moons of a Mahammy on my hand. Yes, we're shaking.

What do you think? Wait, we're shaking. That's how you shake. You're like, hey, let's shake on that. All right, we got one more thing, and this one's totally PG. This is our final segment. By the, what a pleasure having you here. How fun.

You're amazing, heart. Thank you for having me. So this is pure PG. This is, we do this with every guest. It's called Words from. a wooden shoe. Okay. This is an authentic Dutch clog, same place I got my hair plugs.

Inside are words. You reach in, pull out a word, and see if something, that word, somewhere in your journey in life, an experience, a moment, a memory is spurred, or respond by that word. And you can share it with our seven or eight viewers, maybe nine of tuned in by now because you're quite beautiful. So low-key, I just got really excited. decided when you brought out the shoe.

Yeah. And so I was like, ah, and so my ADHD brain completely, like, here we go. Kind of zoned out. Okay. And I was like, oh, man, what does he want me to do now? So I need to, like. Oh, you, you didn't hear a word I said.

I mean, I heard you, but I didn't. You didn't, like, absorb it. Yeah, like I heard you say it. I was talking, but all you heard is asparagus soup, night crawler, tomato. I got you. So basically, you look at the word. Yeah. and see if it spawns a story from your journey in life, a memory, an event, a friend, something.

So what's the word? I love it. It says, Embarrassed by Dad. Oh, okay. Here we go. This should lead to something good. Oh, man. Embarrassed my dad.

I mean, what kid hasn't been embarrassed by their father at some point? And you as a little Mexican boy, there's got to be a story somewhere. I mean. Embarrassed by dad Are you close with your dad? I love my dad Oh Yeah

Good good I'm trying to see Okay maybe it was And this could be from your whole life Like when you're a little kid It could be when you're a teenager It could be you know Any stage in your life

Not like today It could be any time I mean What keeps What's in my Sorry, did I trigger your ADHD again? I distracted you. So what we're doing is we pulled the word out of a shoe and then you're going to read your word.

I'm now frozen. Yeah. By the way, my favorite Disney movie. God, I love watching it again. Well, it's a two-hour movie. Okay, well. Embarrassed by your dad. It's got to be something.

Because I keep thinking about middle school. Okay. My subconscious mind is very active right now with middle school memories. True story. Do you ever remember having those lunch dances or those after school dances? They were for like a dollar. No. No?

Okay. For a dollar. Yeah. And you'd go and you'd dance and like I just remember vividly usher playing like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, all these, like, little sixth grader, seventh graders just, like, pretending like they know how to dance. And then everyone shining light on them, like, stop touching, you know. Oh, the teachers were, like, monitoring the dance.

Yeah. So they didn't want to allow any heavy petting or anything. No. Like, you just. Yeah, they just turn the light on and some guys rubbing your hairy legs. Your dad's like, go home. Go home right now and shave. They're like, this isn't dancing.

This is a kink. Okay, this is not dancing. So what happened? So you're at the thing. I remember my phone died. And my dad, I remember I texted him during lunch going, hey, dad, there's going to be a dance after school. So I'm going to be about 10 minutes late to get to the front where he picked me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he goes, no, Brenda, I have to get back to work. And I'm like, whatever, he can wait. And so I'm at this dance. And then my phone. died. I was like, oh, no. I was like, what time is it? Oh, well, Usher's playing. So, like, I'm just dancing. And I remember my girlfriend came up to me and she goes, dude, I think I just saw your dad screaming at the teachers outside. I'm like, what? Oh, no. And so I ran outside. And my dad was like, you are in so much trouble. Get over here. And he, like, grabbed me. And then he

was like, I'm late for work. I was, I made him wait like 20, 30 minutes without me. And this was in front of all the other kids. And he dragged you out of there. Who were then, like, waiting, dying to get inside the dance because there would be lines to get inside the dance. Oh, wow. And you're getting dragged out.

Yeah. Wow. And you know, you know the dad when that happens, like, they see you on the other side of the gym and they walk like the Terminator, like, dun, down, where's my, where's my hairy little boy right that's you what he thought too yeah all he wanted was a daughter and he got a greasy hairy little freak boy that's probably why he dragged you out of there no son of mine's gonna dance around his hooter shorts and his sausquatch legs so my dad wanted a girl yeah and my mom wanted a boy I think you're probably the ultimate candidate for becoming trans.

We cannot put that on the podcast. We will get canceled. I will get canceled so fast. You know you were canceled like an hour ago, right? No. We both were. So let's go back to my mom wanted, my dad wanted a girl. A girl, yeah.

My mom wanted a boy. Okay, so we're going to do that and we're not going to, okay, say those words. Yeah. Okay. So my mom wanted a boy. Maybe a couple of them. And my dad wanted a girl. Maybe a couple of them.

You are, well. I'm a woman. Well. I'm a woman. Who knows what you are really? I'm a woman. They look a lot like a dolphin with a wig to me. That didn't sound like a dolphin.

at all. That sounded like a child getting run over by a stroller at Home Depot. Or Disneyland, where they shouldn't belong. Yeah. Children shouldn't belong at Disneyland. No, no, they shouldn't. That is a strictly adult. Yeah. Theme park.

It's a rave. That's for us. Yeah, that's for, and our inner children. Yeah. That's it. That's right. That's for, we are children. Yeah.

No, seriously, let's get philosophical. Okay, okay. We are children. We are all children. Yes. In adult, quote unquote, bodies okay that get backache if you sit for too long or stand for too long okay but we are all children okay we deserve Disneyland we deserve corn because we are children of the corn wait

hold on all right all right let's plug away tell people where they can see you, where they can see you do stand up, where they can connect with you if they want to, you know, get involved with your wonderful services you provide. Let them, let them hear it. Oh, thank you, Harlan. Thank you to everyone who listened. Y'all are amazing. Yeah, they're great. All seven of them. Hey, Shane Shamwow is incredible. I'm a huge fan. Oh, that guy's so dry, you could almost build a sandbox on his tube of vagusil. Hey, you know, as long as you don't get them near dolphins, it's all. It's okay.

Yeah. You know. So I know y'all just saw me get hell of silly on the Harlem podcast, but I can also get very serious and philosophical. And that's where you can find me also at official Brenda Z on Instagram. You can also reach out to me there. Again, you have my link tree. You have where you can find me performing. I will upload everything on official.

Brenda Z. Nice. My website, Brenda Sarai Zuniga. You can find more info there as well. We are all in this together from the bottom of my heart. Much love, and I really appreciate you having me. Thank you. I love it.

Love having you. Yeah. Thank you. Would you close out because I have seven viewers, but three of them are Latino. Oh. If you could say much love, thanks for having me just that last part in Spanish. Much of good. Wait, that's, that was Portuguese.

No, that was Spanish. Well, not where I come from. That was Denny's Portuguese. You could just tell the three Latino viewers. Much of gusto in Connoceer at all. And in English, that's mushrooms and toast. That means so great meeting all of you. Is that what you?

All three of them. All three of them. Los Giro much. love you all. Harland is the best. Harland is the best. Harlan is the peor that I've seen in all my life.

Just kidding. A little angry at the end. I love that. That said that you're the best. I am the breast. And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here. What a delight.

Thank you so much. Folks, this has been the Holland Highway podcast. And until next time, get fixed and chicken chowmaine baby and don't hit any hairy little boys on the drive home let it out let it out billy

that's it cry it out little boy