The Harland Highway - FRANK CALIENDO teaches VOICE impressions, damages Harland's neck, and amazes us with his MAD SKILLS!

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

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Hey folks, if you're kicking around on October 12th, I'm inviting you to come to the screening of my movie, Wingman, Comedy, Craziness, Cuckiness. It's at the Directors Guild on Sunset Boulevard. They have a beautiful theater in there. We're part of the Malibu Film Festival. So go online to Malibu Film Festival.com. Secure your tickets for the sneakscore. screening of the movie I wrote, directed, and star in with Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters,

and a whole bunch of other great actors. Wingman, October 12th, Directors Guild Theater, Sunset Boulevard, the Malibu Film Festival. I'll be there. I hope I see you there. Would you like insurance with that, sir? I've got my own insurance. Can you tell us who they are? I don't believe I have to. Will you be the only one driving the vehicle, sir? I will be.

And do you want to put a body in the trunk? Yes. He once killed a diabetic horse. I'm talking about Harlan Williams, of course. He's got a podcast, and it kicks lots of ass. It's the Harlan Highway, and it's always a blast. You know we're going to laugh. That's the plan my guy.

It's the best podcast, whether silver or high. Oh, it's all in my way A phone on silent, please. My guy. Thank you. You're what? Your phone buzzes? Yeah, there's a microphone, guy.

Yeah. Oh, I didn't know we're doing that kind of podcast. Yeah, we use mics. Oh, good. And I use headphones. You don't need to. I'm not going to. You're not going to, and I'm not going to force it.

No. I don't want to fight. Dude, I don't want to... It's fun. I don't want to fight. I just want to have a fun... A fun pod? Yeah.

Not a punch pod? I don't want it to be contentious. Do you know this word? Yeah. Yeah, I just learned it. It's antagonism. We don't want that, do we? Are we rolling already?

See, the aggressive questions. Yes. Why can't two buds just talk? and do a pod sorry yeah I saw that I had a little I had a slip-up yeah you know what's frustrating I'm a communicator we do comedy yeah I do the hall a pocket and have like sort of a verbal slip-up yeah it's tough it's embarrassing it's humiliating yeah and it's nothing great you that you don't edit anything. I mean, this could possibly fix some stuff, but no. This is, when I think of

the Harland Highway, I think. Say it. Yeah, because I almost want to say the highway to Harland, which is what I, I love it. Because it's just a Michael Landon. You are the next Michael Landon. And makes me think of the old guy, Victor French, wearing a baseball cap. That's me. And you're Michael Landon. I'm the angel. Yeah. And I'm the regular. guy stuck with you. Man, that feels what this really is. Wait, wait, wait, wait, stuck with me? Hold on a second.

Stuck with me? Yeah, happy to be stuck with you. Oh, happy to be stuck with me. Was that, there was a stuck on you? Wasn't that a movie? Was that a? Yeah. It was a movie about the guy who invented Velcro, actually.

Oh, yeah. And it was, uh, there might be two of those movies. Okay, well, the first one was. It was the first 20 minutes was really interesting because it showed his life and it showed him. And then he found the Velcro and for the other hour and a half of the whole movie was just him in one spot.

Oh, yeah, and you're trying to pull it apart, right? Right, he was stuck. Yeah. Yeah, and that's why you shouldn't stick that stuff to yourself and then hug somebody. Do you know how Velcro came to be? Do you know how it was invented? I missed the first 20 minutes of that movie, so no.

It's quite fascinating. Do you know? I do know. Do you want to hear? I'm contemplating it. There was a guy, I believe it was in Scotland. Have you ever been to Scotland, lad? I've never been to Scotland.

No, I've never been to Scotland. Has it got any interest to you to go to Scotland one day? I think I'd like to someday. Hold on, go get into it. There it is. I'm going in and out of it. You're having trouble with Scotland. Scottish!

There it is, lad. Get a little angry. That's it, lad. That's it, lad. You'll find that Scottish blood being your son. Oh, yeah. Daddy. Daddy wants to smash a bagpipe on your face, lad.

Wait a second. Well, but what happened is apparently, and people can correct this, people can fact check. I believe there's a lot of that on this show, isn't there? Well, it's not dimble bump to gumbledy flump, fable nump to garble blump right away. Most people would have stopped halfway through that. Guy, let's not nibbley nimp to bum to flump, gibaldi glab de gubbledee blump, immediately. Okay? Yeah.

Can we not? I'm sorry. Good Lord. I know. Apparently a Scottish man was out walking his dog out in the moors or in the fields of Scotland. And when he got home, he noticed burrs from a thorn. A thistle. You know, the burrs on a thorn thistle boy?

Where they complain? Why am I on this thistle? Oh, not. Those are Bill Burr's out of doing. What's up with this? Wait, what, go? Why am I here? That's my Bill Burr on a thistle. Bill Burr on a thistle.

Oh, yeah. Imagine if Bill Burr was just out in a field? I think we just did it. Yeah. That's all I don't really have the impression. What are I doing here? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, a thistle. What are I doing in the middle of a field?

What's going on here? Why, why do I have a mole on my eyebrow here? It's pretty good. I just did that. I was struggling to get it, and you punched it out. That's what I do. Came right from the Scottish to Scottish Bill Burr. Right from the Scott to the Burr.

Well, that sounds like a pub in Ireland. The Scott to the Burr. That's just, I mean, you are creating. Can I meet a later lad down at the Scott to the Burr for a pint? You'll be there. I'm on my way. I'm in my way. I'll be there.

Oh, I can't wait to catch up with you, lad. I have to get a few things done. Oh, be there for you. The two of us. And where are we? meeting just so I can verify it. I forgot already. Hold on. Let me think about something on the bur. It's the scot on the burr. That's what it was.

You're having trouble thinking today, lad. I'm screwing up every chance I can get. Oh, lad. So apparently this guy was walking his dog, gets home, and there's burrs all over the dog's fur. So he's pulling him out. He's like, what is this? And he looks under a microscope and he sees the little hooks. Right. That's, this is real? This is real.

And he sees the little hooks. And that was the light bulb moment for Velcro. Oh, no. I did. I just told you. 100%. But why did you say, who knew? You know, if you want to fight this whole podcast, I'll lay it down.

But I just told you where Velcro Cram from. And after a beautiful, I even did voices. And I get, who knew it? the end? Yeah. I mean, Guy, let's have a little

respect here. Mr. Williams. Yes. I'm sorry. Thank you. Sure. Ladies and gentlemen,

I do guarantee you on the Hall of Highway podcast here today. And I have a special guest, a good buddy of mine. We've known each other for years and years. One of the funniest

wildcats to prowl through the jungle. Frank Calliando is here, my guy. How are you, buddy, bud? I'm doing well, my friend. And, you know, I was just joking about all the conflicts. We're tight. We're buds. I'm not sure about that.

I think that might be part of what makes us us, though. Sort of the aggressive nature. We're going to have that moment so we can make up. Yeah. So we can fix it. And that builds our relationship to stronger every time. Kind of like shaving. Like when you shave.

And the hair grows back, it grows back fuller. Fuller and thicker. So our friendship is like being shaved and then the hair of our friendship growing back fuller. I know. I think of us, when I think of us, I think of us as a Brazilian. Oh. Or sometimes when it's cold out a landing strip. Really?

Yeah. How do you see our shave? Uh. I see our, like a mohawk. Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Cultural. Yeah. God, dude. Well, no, there's that, you know what that causes electricity? I'm with you when there's a little tension. It causes electricity. It causes drama and it makes for good broadcasting. Did you say drama?

Drama. Not drama. Is that Canadian for drama? Wait. What are you saying? I say drama. The a, uh, uh. Drama.

Oh, so you know. of her learn to speak? No, I'm, I just in a different Oh,

where did you learn to speak? Than you. How do you say it? Drama? Yeah. See, we're, if we're gonna,

I mean, okay, let's have another fight. Yeah. Let's lay down another fight. Any other words? Verbal spat about verbiage.

You want to talk about pasta? I don't. I don't. Okay. It's pasta. It's past the hour of talking. That's your watch, you looked at? My what?

You hit your watch? My watch. Ding, give the boy a win. Give the boy a win. My watch. My Canadian watch. Slam. Slam the door and drive off into the distance.

Good gravy. That's my thing. Can we just have that and be a moment? That's a good moment. Wow. Oh, my goodness. Good golly. I really wasn't sure, you know, what? It's so funny to, for people who are fans of you, to, I'm sure people wonder if you're always like this. And the answer is, unfortunately, yes. Yeah. It is sad. You're one of the nicest, sweetest people I know, but it's, it's just, it's like going to Disney and going on two different rides. Like, one of you goes on the Pollywog or something like that, some

children's ride, and then you are on Space Mountain. And when I'm talking about space, you are out there. Yeah. And at the end of it, you just want to barf two different ways till Thursday. Maybe you do. I love it. I'm here. That's why I'm here. I wake up in the morning. I look

at myself in the mirror and I barf. Really? Like, I just barf. Remember, remember the kid in The Shining wrote Red Rum on the mirror with the lipstick. Yeah. I barf on the mirror and then I draw like happy faces in my barf. Oh.

That's how sick I am to see myself in the morning. But you try to dress it up. Well, I try to have fun with it. Yeah. The therapist said if you do it, make it, make, when you have lemons, make lemonade. Yeah. But when you have barf, make a mural. Yeah.

Yeah. Or Hemingwood. even. Yeah. Meryl Hemingway. Oh, she was great. Yeah. My brother, one of the breast, breast,

that's how Canadians say best. Yeah. One of the breast impressionist comedians, I don't know, that's maybe ever walked the earth. I'll take it. I don't know if it's true, but I'll take it from you.

Well, I didn't say you. Oh, that's right. I just, I didn't like, Let me finish the sentence. Oh, here comes Jeff Richards. Well, one of the best comedic impressionists in the world, Rich Little. I mean, guy, but we're pretty presumptuous sitting here. You're 100% correct.

I made a huge mistake. This is the second mistake so far on this podcast for me. My guy, but no, you are, you're one of the, if not the best rocking and rolling today, my guy. I don't know about that, but I do appreciate it. To me, I am. I mean, you made an assessment. about me. To me I am. To me I am. That's Indian. Oh. Yeah. That's North American Indian slang lingo. To me I am. It's one word. Slango, if you will. To me I am is one word, meaning he who is the best, rises with the sun in the mist while thou's buffalo roamed through canoes.

What was that again? It's just, you don't know Indian talk. What was that again? He who rises in the mist in the morning waters while the mountains sooth. Okay, you know what? Wow. Wow. Unbelievable. One of the best impressionists in the world. I'm going to say it. I don't mind.

Rich Little? No. Frank Calliando. And I want to know as an impressionist, and this is a wide, scoping, ranging question, my guy. What impresses you? as an impressionist about other people anything fill in the blank

what impresses one of the best impressionists ever to roam the earth what impresses me oh what impresses you as you walk around in your life the voices in your head what impresses you about the world about life about anything

I know people people who can write music I mean, that is impressive. I watched the Billy Joel documentary and was just completely blown away by how prolific and great. I went to go, I haven't seen a lot of, are you a music guy?

Oh, yeah. I haven't done a lot of music in my life. Okay. And I've been around. My mom was a piano teacher. I think I rebelled. Your mom was a penis? Or do I look for my look to camera there?

That one? Because I said penis. I know. Maybe do one. Maybe do that one too. Am I in that one? Well, no, I'm not in it. Well, you, that one, I mean.

Oh, that one. So my mom, anyways. How big was you, the penis, your mom? 88. How tall was the penis, your mom? Like, how long was the penis, your mom? You said she was a. Yeah, no.

Pian, Tennis, Pianus. We're having trouble with words today I'm sorry. I thought I heard So your mother was a Pianist. Pianist. And keep going with the sots. Sorry I interrupted. She's a piano teacher, so maybe I thought I was kind of joking.

Oh. And it back for you. So, but he went to see Billy Joel, never, haven't seen a lot of concerts. He was just amazing. Have you ever been to a Billy Joel concert? I haven't. Man, it's just, he's fantastic. And he's just fun. He's just having fun out there. He's the piano man. Sing us to

song, I'm the piano man. Yeah, you've heard some of his stuff. To me. And then he has a, and the waitresses practicing politics as the usual crowd shuffles in. Maybe not in that order, but... And she puts a bottle of gin

on the table and in comes the tin man. Oh, laudity. There's something. I don't know words. I have a heart. I'd lie in one, please. Walk with me on this yellow brick road to get to the wizard and see.

Because we're all in the mood for fixing our problems. And there's no place that I'd rather be. Oh, la, la, la, la. You know, I feel like we're at the Burren Frock right. now or whatever it's called. It's the Scott and Burr. Scott and Burr. Just la la la la la la la la la la how you've been la

la la la la la la la la la and we're through and stuff at each other. Oh chubbies oh chubbies oh chubby oh chubby I'm wearing chubbies right now yeah I'm not going to show you but they're wearing chubby shorts I'm a racquetball player and when I get on the court with my chubbies I am moving. free. I am like the wind flying around on the court. Nobody stops me when I'm in my chubbies. So I hope you get out and order your chubbies online. This is beautiful clothing. Fall's coming. Time to get into some chubbies wear and feel good and look good. Chubbies is here to make sure your fall wardrobe hits harder than a pumpkin night.

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But wait, I'm mystified. You never dabbled or got into music, but yet your mother was a piano teacher. I would play some music by ear. I loved ragtime for some. Remember Scott Joplin, the Maple Leaf Rag, the entertainer? That's the entertainment. The beginning from the movie,

the sting, the score of that is. That's right. So, I like, I just had never been to concerts and stuff like that, but I went to see this Billy Joel concert at Chase Field in Arizona in Phoenix. I was fan. I was just blown away at how much fun he has up there after singing even the same songs for 30 years. Yeah. Still just having a blast.

And that impresses you the music. I like that. I think so. I think so. I mean, I could just go nature, everything, it's simplified. I mean, just things in nature. Like, when I tinkled at your toilet, there was some type of giant bug looking at me. Oh, no.

Yeah. Did you, I mean, have you seen a doctor? Well, it was supposed to be there. You have, you have, it's like insect game. Oh, oh, you're talking about the taxidermine rhinoceros beetle. Is that what that is? Is that really what it is? That's what it is, yeah.

It's big. It is big. But it puts other things into perspectives size-wise. You're like, oh. Especially when you're looking down at your penis. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And playing it.

Wow. Tell me how much you love dinosaur footprints. Go. I'm glad that I miss the dinosaur. And I think I know why. Because it gets stepped on. You see, the footprints, you know that it's been there, right? And you know the direction it's going, so you know which way to not go.

And you must just love them, those footprints in the rocks. Yeah, and a lot of times I will just break into a Jeff Goldblum, a life finds a way. Oh, yes, of course, must go faster, yes. Oh, look at the what, the twinkle in your eyes. Yes, we, it wasn't. a spot for impression, but I wanted to stay on what, on what, the same topic

for a while without having you go on a tangent, of course. Whoa. And do you know this, because I know your mind runs deep, there's many chambers, mm-hmm. Do you know why

the psychological attachment to Goldblum and the dinosaur footprints happened? In what we were talking about? Yeah. Well, we mentioned, you mentioned Dinosaur Footprints.

Yes. Which are tracks? No. In the stone, they are, um, what was the Jeff Goldblum voice you just did? A. Impression. They're an impression.

Careful. Right. They're an impression in the ground, and that impressed me. That's why you love dinosaur footprints because they're impressions. Yes. Maybe the earliest impressions of all.

Maybe the very first impressions. I feel like maybe that some type of water running would make an impression on rock or something first. See? No. No, now you're in the zone. Yeah. Auto zone.

Well, let's not make fun of your craft. Okay. Let's flash forward from dinosaur footprints to your home. On your walls, Manet, Degas, who else would we have? Cezon, Renoir, hanging on your walls in your home. Talk to me. Oh, no, no, no, no, written. Those names are all written on my walls. And it doesn't surprise me.

No, because I couldn't afford those actual paintings I didn't want to get the fake one, so I just had my wife who's great with a calligraphy, a calligraphist. A calligraphist. Also a gay sex act in West Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. But why tell the folks why. But is the right conjunction there.

Yes, conjunction. Junction, what's your function? Picking out words and phrases and colloquium. causes like. Yes. But tell the folks why those artists specifically... They're impressionists. Do I get it?

I found the theme of the Harlan Highway today. I found the road we're going down. Guy, there's no mystery. You should know this stuff. I should. And I don't. And I feel bad about it, but that's why I'm glad I'm here. Yeah.

To what? Impressionist artists. We're here to talk about the world of impressions today. And learn. And we're here to learn. And you do some of the best impressions I think I've ever heard. And you're one of the only wildcats

that almost gives a tutorial impressions. I've seen you break down voices until you arrive at an impression. Like Mark Ruffalo. Right. Like I've seen you on film. I've got it, guy. Well, what I always take is the description I give to people is there are, Muppet voices are easier to do because they're characters, right?

And a character, like a cartoon character, is somebody putting on a character. So that's a little easier to do than trying to do, if you were to try to do Tom Hanks just talking versus him being Forrest Gump, it would be much easier to be Forrest Gump, right? Because it's him talking in a certain way. Right. so Muppets are two voices we'll talk about Kermit the Frog Hi-ho Kermit D-Frog here Hi-ho Kermit D-Frog here

And yours is already You're using a little throat in that Hi-Hoo, hi-Haw You could get it up in here Hi-Holl Your natural, you actually have A deviated septum I was going to say nasal

So it's something Because I can hear it in your voice Which gives you that No it's good It's good Yeah not for the listener But maybe for the septum

okay so the Kermit and then the Fazi type of Fazi bears Ah Waka Waka Waka So it's in that That's more in your throat So it's down here Ah

Yeah In there Yeah you got Yeah Yeah okay Yeah almost like a Ray Romano Oh no Oh man

Because you have the nasal That's really good It is? Yeah yeah That should be one of yours That should get in the act. Maybe while you're at IKEA doing your flurken flobins. Oh.

Yeah. Flarked and flubin. Yeah. I just bought a new Nergdeglardin about three weeks ago. I saw it when I walked in. Isn't it nice? Beautiful. Oh.

I don't know what kind of wood it is, but. I don't know, but it's right next to the dinosaur dinosaur. Dinafore. It's the four dinosaur footprints. Right. Yeah. So you have those two things you can do with your voice. You can go up here and you can go down here, right?

Okay. So you can use that to manipulate stuff. There's other stuff you can do as well as you can put a rumble in your throat like, ah, ah, ah. Ah, yeah, that's kind of. Do you remember an inspector gadget? Yeah.

I'll get you gadget. That kind of thing. Yeah. Where you go? And you can rumble, get that rumble in your throat. There's all those types of things. Here you go. Yeah.

Yeah. On the Arland Highway. On the Harlem Highway. Ooh, that's a real deep. And I think maybe from that deviated septum, you have extra mucus in. and that really let it flow. Yeah.

Yeah, buddy. Okay. So. God. I wish I could do the dolphin. Wow. That thing you do. Yeah, but the way you did it sounded almost like a sex act in West Hollywood.

Yeah. It's right. Yeah. So let's take the Kermit the frog up here. And I did this too. Up there. Very good. Very good.

Now bring it down in the middle. Bring it down in the middle. You went too deep. You went too deep. You get it in the middle, you can become John C. Riley. Oh, wow. John C. Riley. It's in there, yeah.

You'd have to work on a little bit. I got to work on a little bit. You're in here. You're too far back. You've got to go forward a little bit. A little bit. It's getting there. Wow.

Now you add the air. Add the air. It's Mark Ruffalo. I see this as an absolute win. It's really great to be here. He'd never be that excited about it. anything. I see that as an absolute win.

I see that. See you weren't here. So it's got to be breathy. I see that as an absolute win. I see that as an absolute win. And if you bring it down further, that's Paul Giamani. I believe that is a crazy situation. I've seen some of those dinosaur footprints, and they are disastrous.

So, I've seen some of those dinosaurs. See, now you're doing some with your S's. Your S's became super. Can you imagine that? Super califragilistic exfayaladocious. That's the munchkins. Super califragilistic expeyalidosis. Yeah, the lollipop boys.

Man, do you have a lollipop gild look on your face? Oh, I've never seen you. We represent the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild. The lollipip. so let's talk about your voice because you do have that is it really a deviated septum yeah I went to a guy once and he said it was the worst he's ever seen really and I said I can breathe okay I do breathe loudly

yeah I heard you fixing the cameras earlier yeah you could not trying to kill somebody would be tough for you you're not getting away no I've had people when I go to a movie theater I have the stranger sitting beside me inevitably you know half an hour into the movie I can just feel them going because I just sit there I'm not this is it's just like

they think they're sitting with Darth Vader it's like the worst so I got yeah I got a bad one but I can breathe okay I can have my sense to smell I can taste food I sleep okay so if it ain't fixed I ain't gonna go in for a surge right that's exactly what

the saying how the saying go yeah so you have I've tried doing the impression of you years and years ago. It was okay. But I've heard other people do it and everybody seems to do it. And I included never get that complete nasal. That's the, hey, buddy. Hey.

So it's, what you hate out? I remember seeing the first time I saw you perform. I'd seen you probably in movies or something like that. Yeah. But the first time I think I saw you, it was at maybe Dublin's. Or one of those, you know, and you were just up. Dublin's is a place in, what is it, West Highland? I remember it was a little bar down on Beverly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a little bar. It was like sort of a one-night stand type of comedy room. We're serving food on. Hey, buddy, can I get around, won't you hear now? And everything goes, can I get around? Can I get around, won't you hey now? And it was, I'd never seen anything like it.

And I was like, I don't know what this guy is doing, but it's killing. And that was the fun, it's kind of like this podcast. But it was one of those where I'm going, gosh, and we had talked about, I talked to you a little bit, I think, that night. Yeah. But we were talking about casting. And we were talking about how you were always in the same places. And the people that were in the same rooms were you, Bob Mawley, and Dane Cook. And you're like, these are the, and maybe some other people.

But I'm like, I'm always with fat guys. So it's one of those. I just remember those conversations. Yeah. And that night and that was just watching you work. I was like, I don't know what he's doing. and I don't know how he's doing this, but it's working. It should, every, by every point in logic,

it should not be working. Everybody should be going, what's happening right now? And you were just killing. Even the weight staff was enjoying it. Oh, good. It was just very good. Thanks, man.

Wow. Since then, I haven't seen you do well. I know. Really, really great. The last time we worked together was in Chicago at the improv. Well, we didn't even really work to it. You were working, and I just showed up. Well, I was headlining, and I said,

I said, come on out and do a spot, and you came out and did a spot. And the crowd went nuts because they weren't expecting you. It was like a special guest drop-in. Yeah. And my friend, the bodyguard, Brian Vickers, not my bodyguard,

but he was bodyguarding Chris Hemsworth all day. Oh, Thor? I don't think Thor needs a bodyguard. The Guard of Thunder? Of course, yes. Oh, yes, of course. That's what I always do. Yes, of course.

Yeah. Yes, of course. That's a sexy voice. Well, you'd be great. Well, I'll tell you, I was in there while he was signing autographs and taking pictures. I was taking pictures with people. Who, Thor? Yeah.

The Golden Thunder. Yes, Hemsworth. And women would walk in and when they, they would faint when they saw us. And it was like, the two of us together. There was, it was too much handsome at once. Yeah, yeah, I get it. But it was a crazy thing where he didn't, he didn't walk, he floated. Like, it was a weird thing.

Like, he'd just go places and, like, you see vampires and a vampire movie. how they just kind of float away. I don't think he's a vampire, but I think he has some of their powers. Yeah, I met him once at a radio station, and I went up and talked to him and said hello. And yeah, he just sort of, he's a huge guy, muslin. He was that much bigger than you?

Yeah, he was. Because aren't you like 6263, right? He was a little bit taller than me, but just sort of. Yeah, he might have, I think he was wearing heels. Yeah. Yeah. He was wearing Prada heels, the red ones. Yes.

Oh, right bottoms? Yeah, red bottoms, yeah. But speaking of sexy, with a guy with such a library of voices, and this is going to open a door here that you didn't expect, but who cares? It's my show. When you're making sweet, tender Arizona love to your wife folk, does she ever ask you to slap on a voice so that she's maybe making love suddenly to. Somebody better? To Brad Poole. Well, I wasn't going to say better. You did.

Like a Liam Neeson. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. But I'm going to ask and then I'm going to deliver. I don't know who you are. My virginity has been taken. I am going to find you. I will find you.

And I will fuck you. I will hunt you down. Does she get you to do voices? No. Oh, dude. Have you ever done it? Be honest. No.

You've never in the middle. Like Morgan Freeman narrating. and that's when she realized it was already over. You never right by her ear, you're making love, and you pop into a little Borgon Freeman? No. Oh, come on, guy. Maybe try it.

That's when Frank went through 500 yards of the filthiest slop I can't even imagine. Or maybe I just don't want it. The stuff that makes you giggle. Wow. Well, I'm just, you know, you're right there by your ear. Now we're all picturing you're making. making love. Right.

Which is beautiful. Yeah. What a treat. And you're right there by your... What a treat. I don't realize that's... I say that all the time and that's from you. I just say in regular life.

What a treat. Yeah. What a treat, my friend. Yeah, they get busy living? Get busy effing. Yeah. I try to be clean. Yeah, you're clean.

I like, I appreciate that. I'm not always clean, but I've just, I don't know. You've never been, you've never injected real foul language. I was dirty for a little while. You were? Yeah, I said some bad stuff. What? Yeah. Just when I first started, I just threw it out there. It's just not me.

Yeah. Which is, I shouldn't say that. It's not me talking to other people. Me by myself will swear and throw in a lot of terrible things. Yeah. But yeah, it's funny because if family members of mine hear me swear or something, they're like, that was weird. Yeah, you know, you hardly ever do it. Yeah, I don't. I rarely hear it. Hey, everybody. Fall is here and I got things to do. I got to rake the line. leaves. I got to walk the dog. I got to catch the pig skin. Who has time to eat? Not me. So I'm going to drink my eats. And that's why I got Huell. Have you seen Huell? Look at this stuff. This is a nutritionally complete ready to drink meal right here. Hold on. Watch me eat my drink. Oh, yeah. Chocolate. Chocolate comes in many flavors. And man, oh man.

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That's Harland at Hewold.com backslash Harland. Happy eating, drinking. but I want to try and do it like I physically I have trouble doing impressions I don't think you do I think you did a great schoolish better than mine I thought you did skullish yeah I thought you did um what were you doing earlier and you were hitting a couple things the bill burr you were without even because look yeah it's a repetition of working Bill Burr just cut off cut off what's this jackass what's this guy doing here which is close to it's not that far from you to be honest

Are you serious? What the fuck are you talking about here? I'm nowhere near that bald fucked. So, what the hell? It's getting further away. It was better. Okay. Yeah.

What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, that's Kermit Burr. Kermit, yeah. Kermit Burr frog, Kermit B frog. Yeah. But your Muppet stuff, you could do all that stuff vocally. So you could do, I've heard you do. You just don't work at it and care is the thing.

I think it, what has. happens is it I try to build it up and then and then it like sort of I it hurts I get physically hurts I'm not sure if I believe that but at the same time I don't think it fits the kind of comedy you're doing unless unless the character that you're doing is do going off on the same types of tangents that you do which it could be you know I think that could be done like my my joke about you, and this isn't actually how you do it, but what I always talk about you is, I look around the room, hey there, buddy, with

your camera focused on me right now, with the lights focusing on different situations, making light bounce off our heads in different ways with the signage in back of me and the bookshelf that may or may not be real, depending on your perspective. But as I just

look around, like you can maybe do that as different people, like a Liam E's and, hey there, over there. I guess you couldn't do it with your camera behind you with what's going on. I know exactly who you are. I will find you. No, I'm trying to think of something that could

somebody that could be like you. Maybe John C. Raleigh could do it, that kind of guy, maybe. I don't know. I think I'd just get you to play you. Yeah. That's what I would do. God.

Well, I try. I'll try, since you're throwing out some winners. Yeah. If you want to give me like some kind of famous celebrity, I'll try. Maybe you can see what I deal with. It's sort of like a deviated septum. Well, I can do a couple of words,

but if I try to go long form, it's like my whole body has a deviated septum. Because I think your nose is even similar in some ways, I think you could do a very good Joe Biden. Okay. Folks, come on. When I was a young man grow up in Scrant, Pennsylvania, 30, 4,500, 680 AD,

the father of the Roman Empire, the Romans. Joe Biden, very similar to you, by the way. he's doing he's sometimes I wonder now I realize Joe Biden might be just doing Harlan Williams bits hey there won't you hang can I get around hey there with your Mayberry trucks in front of me but I think you could hit that because okay I have a tough time hitting the nasal in there for him which puts it over the top folks folks folks you got to get real soft you got to get rid of here okay I'll try a longer form like well Let's try. Let's do an easy one.

Let's do Trump. Can you do a Donald Trump? Can you lead me into it? So the first thing I do is the way I talk about this is with all impressions. Yeah. The mouth tells you how the person talks. The eyes tell you how the person thinks. Okay?

So with Donald Trump, that's why you see everybody do this. I say it's like looking into an aquarium and mimicking the fish. Okay. So do that. You're going to need that. You're going to, you're going to, you're going to have to, can we, can we inject some lips? We need some fat your lips because you don't have much lips. I think you're doing an old school Jimmy Cagney or something.

Oh, you dirty rat. Oh, quite frankly. Quite frankly, I, uh, I, uh, I got to be honest. Ah, ah, God. Give me a second. See, this is what I mean. Not a good Donald Trump, but hold on. I think you have a great comedic villain in a movie.

What does he do? Whatever you just did. That is what you're just pretend. Like if you build it, he will come. But this, what you're doing there, nobody's going to mistake. That's like the Simpsons. When the Simpsons, a lot of times it's an impression, that's not a very good impression, it becomes a character.

Your Donald Trump's so bad, but you have the take on it. So you could be doing your, you could be. doing your thing and I think you have a villain because it's just it's a likeable bad guy but I can't shut it off it's like I'm really trying to step up and do a good impression maybe it's not your thing I know but I really want to oh so we want to we still want to do one try and get one that you can do well like who's this a common celeb that I could like an easy one maybe I could go for Jack Nicholson you could do it okay yeah uh what am I doing am I am I shopping for groceries like give me it so I can do a run-on sentence and then like segue into something okay

what am I doing activity you are mowing the lawn okay jack Nicholson mowing but I don't really talk to someone when I'm mowing the lawn your neighbor stops over okay there we go well you're and you want to be the neighbor hey jack well how's it going David it looks like you're wearing your nice shirt today yeah I did put that on just to come over and say hello. My son got this for me. Oh, I love your son. How's his football? Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ah.

I felt like I sort of got there. I thought you were there, and then the shining happened. God, dude. Here's Johnny It's not It sort of hurts Yeah I wouldn't do that That's why I think you should not do impressions

You're right But I want to I don't I think that's my turn to shine And it's all full Summer's here And you can now get almost anything you need For your sunny days Delivered with Uber Eats

What do we mean by almost Well you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered But you can get a chicken parmesan delivered A cabana? That's a no But a banana That's a yes A nice tan Sorry. Nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details.

TD Bank knows that running a small business is a journey. From startup to growing and managing your business. That's why they have a dedicated small business advice hub on their website to provide tips and insights on business banking to online. entrepreneurs, no matter the stage of business you're in, visit td.com slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a TD small business banking account manager. Whoa, see? You did it. Okay, let me be the neighbor. Hi, Jack. How are you?

Hey, how you doing, my friend? Looks like you're wearing your shirt, your son gave you. Yes, this is my son gave me this. I love it. Yeah, how's he doing? Well, he won the baseball championship yesterday. Oh, still playing, huh? Yeah.

Well, you're manufacturing those birth certificates still, I see. Well, let's not take cheap shots at my boy, Jack. Yeah, it just seems he's been playing the game for quite a while. Well, he's 23. He lives at home. It's okay. Is that what you feel? Come on. Well, what about your stupid daughter? It's happened to be too. God.

Oh, I've never had that happen until I wonder if it's contagious. Yeah, it's not fun. No, that's awful. I might have to stop doing impressions because of this. Well, speaking to stop, we don't want you to stop, but they say that the obscure impressions are the best. Like the guys that sort of find that, you know, off to the side, not such a mainstream.

I like those, too. Do you have any of those hidden in your quiver? I would say the Mark Ruffalo is that. Yeah, that's true. Nobody else does him. There's a, I'm trying to think of some, probably some Paul Giamatti's now.

It's funny because you do it, if you do an impression, all of a sudden, a lot of other people start doing them. They start, yeah. I'm trying to think, an obscure, are you sports guy at all? Yeah.

Adam Schaefter, the accord of my sources, at this particular time, it appears, those types of impressions. Oh, wow. The Mel Khyper Jr., talking about tremendous situation. So I'm trying to think of the really weird, obscure people. While you're thinking about it, I do a couple of really obscure impressions that I'm very proud of. Kimmy Lang Wow, the guy who works at the convenience store down the street. Very obscure.

And if you don't mind, I'd love to give you a little. Partake and a little treat. Hey, you can get away from the magazine, huh, funny guy? You put down a pray boy in the penthouse. You want to buy them here, read them home, fun guy. You put down the juicy jugs and buy some chips now. Get out of here, funny boy. It's not a library where you read the playboy in the print house, fun guy.

Go buy some raisin brand and get out of me at my store, funny guy. Had he been to Scotland or something where he was going to say me, me store? Well, I don't know me store. But that was pretty obscure. When those moments happen in movies and you do something like that? Is that not in the script and you just do it? And they just leave it in? I mean, I'm starting to understand.

I don't understand, like, I feel like I understand, I don't, I'm this, I don't want this to be a backhanded compliment, but how you could get movie roles and certain roles, because you go in there, you do kind of what maybe they might be looking for, and then all of a sudden this crazy thing happens and he goes, let's just put them in. This is going to be funny, no matter what it is. What it is, I don't ask permission. When I'm in, when I get the movie and then I'm, we're rolling, I just. let the voices take over. So you don't do that type of stuff until you're there. Until I'm there. I don't do it until we're actually rolling. Okay, because the first time I remember ever saying it was in down periscope. Oh, yeah.

Down periscope, you were sonar? Yeah, sonar is the character. And that was the first time I saw the whale noises. Is that what it was? Yeah. How do you, dude, let me teach me that. Well, that one sort of hurts because you got to go really low. and you have to like do as go low and then high pitch it out.

So it's like, yeah, I don't even want to do it. I think I know where the pain comes from. I think I would be in pain if I tried to do that. And by the way, I did discover that voice while I was making love. Yeah. To a whale. Well, she was fat. Yes.

So, I'll have you. But that scene in that movie down Periscope, they came to me. It was in the script that my character Sonar was supposed to make whale noises. And they came to me about three days before we were supposed to shoot it, the producers. And they said, Harlem, we're taking this scene out. And I said, why? They said, well, we don't know how to do this. I go, what do you mean?

They go, we don't know how to do the whale noise thing. So we're removing it. I said, leave it in. And they go, what do you mean? I said, just trust me. And they said, well, we don't know. I said, just trust me. I will get you the noises you want.

And they said, are you sure? I said, just trust me. And no one knew what I was going to do. And that day on set, we're all in the submarine. And I just started doing that. but adding all this physicality to it. And when they yelled cut, there was like 30 of us in that submarine,

they just exploded laughing. I could see it. It was so fun. It was one of my favorite movie moments. That was the thing I remember. Kelsey Grammer was in there, right? And other than Kelsey Grammer being in the movie, you're the only thing I remember from the movie.

Oh, thank you. And that moment, I actually had it come, because you do dolphin sounds too. Yeah, I mixed whale noises. with I did the there it is like that type of thing but that's all I remember

I probably have never I might have seen it once somewhere since then but when that movie that's still that's etched in my mind until something about Mary was later right that's right quite a bit later

and that's a memorable just your eyes of craziness you didn't have to go far to get to that guy Well, what's interesting in something about Mary, if you watch it back, this is a behind-the-scenes sip, they asked me to do the noise. Right. And if you watch the movie, you'll see me do it when he goes, well, what if it's six minutes? I go, no. And they took it out.

So it's there, but they took the sound out. They took the sound out. And I don't know why they took it out, because when we went into the editing room, I got to see it with it. And it was sort of funny. but maybe they didn't want it to be a callback to It was still good It was so memorable Yeah

It was still fun That's one of those Those are movie moments That not everybody gets those Yeah no And those were Those just came from just like going for it Yeah

You know Yeah So that's one of my issues I don't go for The going for it is the way to do it What do you mean you don't go for it? You don't? Yeah you always go

I don't think you Have you ever held back on anything? Have you ever, is there a moment? Like, if you were in a scene, if we're doing a scene, Robert De Niro and you. Oh. Yeah. Oh, that's pretty good. That's not bad right there.

If you, but if you're in the real, you look like somebody else. Oh, no. Maybe don't. Sorry. Yeah. I mean, would there be some moment you wouldn't go for it or would you always go for it? Well, I always go for it,

but what I do first is I deliver what's on the page for the director and the other cast members. I just don't want to be self-indulgent and suddenly make it my movie or my show or whatever. But once we've done a take or two, and I know they got what they need, then I just go. Will you ask or just do it?

I'll just do it. Because I always find if you ask that they don't know. And to be honest, I don't know. Right. I just know we're going again and I'm just going to go off. And I don't even know what the words are going to be. Okay. Let's say, let's say, you've had, has there been a moment where you did go and people are like, what was that?

Yeah. Please don't do that again. Yes. The whole nine yards. with Bruce Willis. I was in us. I really wish it had been the sixth sense. I wish you were in that.

I see wacky people. But I was in a scene. Yeah. I was in a scene in the whole nine yards with Rosanna, our cat. And we're in a car. And she goes down on me. I play an undercover cop.

Right. And so she's going down on me in the car and you just see your head going up and down and we did like three takes and then I did I said I'm going to do my thing

and I go I just she was doing it was like oh not so hard not so hard not the pumpkin teeth not the pumpkin teeth like I just pictured

a jackal lantern like giving me and the director of that movie was this older British guy and he just came up to the car window and he goes

Holland let's not do the pumpkin teeth I can tell he hated it But that movie was not for that at all though I know but what I tried to do is make it organic Like I didn't go Hey don't do the pumpkin teeth

I tried to be in the moment intimately And it was just a line where You ever have a girl grind a little too hard While doing the fallacious I don't think it would be pumpkin teeth I think I don't think anybody besides you Is going to the Jack O'Land right but it was just so to me it really painted a visual and it described too much teeth right

it's just not and the way i delivered it i felt was very it wasn't campy and over the top it was very like oh that's his baby that oh easy on the pumpkin taste you know i tried to blend it in so that it you got the message but it wasn't i'm trying to i'm trying to i wish it had stayed in i know because I think it's a different movie with that in. I think it's a very... But I tried to tonally make it fit the movie. I didn't try to make it suddenly a Jerry Lewis moment. You tried.

Yeah. Tried. I think that one's a real difficult pumpkin teeth. Yeah. But you get the visual, right? A hundred percent I had it as soon as you said. Have you ever had a blowy from a girl with crazy teeth? No.

Like a train track. It's always a dental visit first. Okay. So I see the orthodontist. Okay, that's your thing. You can make sure they go to the, they get a cleaning and everything before. Okay.

Good God. Floss? Did you floss? Did you floss? Wow. Have you ever used your voices for trickery, my guy? Tom Foolery? Like, have you ever, like, called down to the front desk of a hotel

and said, this is Morgan Freeman. We're all out of your top champagne. Could you send up a few bottles for free? Wink, wink. Speckle, specle, and they were like, they were like, Mr. Connery, is that you doing your Morgan Freeman impression of it? I figured out the Harlan eye.

One eye. I just, like, I saw some pumpkin teeth just now. But wait, before you, answer. What are those speckles on Morgan Freeman's face? They're freckles. I would love to get a Sharpie and join those up and see what's on his face. Like a consolation when your little kid, draw him out?

Yeah, I think it might be the Thomas the train coming out of a tunnel. And that's when he realized he was going through the tracks for the rest of his life. When I joined the speckles on my face. Money penny? Oh, see? Ah!

Has anybody else joined you on a painful moment before on the Harlan Highway? No, well, I've never done impressions before. Even, not even with Will Sassau or? No, Will did Ray Romano when he was here a few weeks ago. I heard that, I heard that. But I didn't do any, he didn't do any, Dressy the body, he does that, so.

No, he said he didn't want to do any that he's done before. Oh, really? Okay. So he said, let's find one he's not really tapped into and he did Romano. Okay. But have you ever used your, There were voices to manipulate someone or trick them. A long time ago, I called a news station as John Madden while he was working and said, I wanted to quit. I pretend to be a drunk John Madden.

No. And said, I went out of here. I can't take it anymore. I've been doing this for 40 years. I don't want to do this anymore. They're like, is this John Madden? I don't want to say. But I just don't feel good about it.

And they were going to put me on the air. I thought, can you hold on for a second? They went and got the next person up in the newsroom. And I just chickened out. I was like, I don't want to cause an incident here. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Yeah, but I know playing people, I don't like to instigate with my comedy.

I tend to be more presentational. Yeah. My friends who do that type of stuff call up and pretend to be Donald Trump, a lot of people, quite frankly. You know, a lot of people. I do quiet Trump. It's like we're in a library, like your books. You have tremendous books. And I visited the White House a few years

During Trump's first term I didn't go to the way I just went to like a tour of the White House kind of area And it was so funny because The Secret Service knew who I was Oh wow And I was walking around outside

They're like, do some Like Frank, do some I was like, you're making sure of this Yeah do some work You guys are doing a great job You know there's a lot of people There's a lot of bad people And you're trying to keep the bad people out

You did great So, and they, they, there. Thank you. Have you ever done a world where two presidents collide, where Trump's walking through the halls of the White House and bumps into George W. Bush, and they have a little talking to each other? What are you doing?

George. George, how did you get it? Well, I've just been here the whole time. I never left. I've been hollowed out a little area over there. I'm there with, there's a guy who does impressionifications. and every time he does one he hurts but we live like Stuart Little

in this little garage over here and he did a dolphin sound a Jack Nicholson impression and then he kind of fake croaked but he came back I've seen that guy I've seen that guy and he's got great abs it's like he's doing seven minute abs he does tremendous work

some of the best some of the best ab work I've ever seen and he can do tremendous sounds he does whale sounds and it's like you're living with a whale. In fact, it's like William Shetner wants to save the earth with Spock. That's how great it is.

And the whale shells, which is what we're going to use. Is that you breathing? Yeah, I think that... Dude, that's hilarious. That's what I'd be like. Dude, what's... Here's what I don't do that you do.

Why is that? You, and a lot of other impressions don't do it. You capture the inflection. in the face immaculately. And it double sells. The voice on its own is huge, but then you get just the little twitches. It's amazing.

That is the stuff if you don't do. Wow. Sometimes if you don't do the voice as great, you don't have to. It sells it more. I learned that with Robin. Robin is one of the first ones where, oh my goodness, you know.

Yeah. Just the smile and you're pulling the smile and you hold it. It's an amazing thing. Do you ever work with Robin? I did. I did a movie called Robots with him, a CGI movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I did one of the robots, and he did one of the robots. And I'll tell you a quick story. It was Ewan McGregor was the lead robot, and it was a Fox movie, and they felt the movie was lacking a bit of energy and comedy, so they created a character for Robin, and he was just supposed to do a few little scenes. But he came in. And they brought him in, and he just knocked out. Like, he not me, and Drew Carrey.

and all the other robot. We didn't have big over-the-top stuff, but they just went robin, robin, rob, and deservingly so. That movie was kind of pitched as a Robin Williams movie, wasn't it in the end? Sort of, yeah. He just took it over. And just because his talent is so like. Well, sometimes I just go in and I do what's on the page is what I do first.

And then I do my thing, you know? I learned it from a young man named Harlan Williams. Did a tremendous job. And I just said, okay, and then we start doing it. Oh. We're at Mime and we're running to the wind And now we're in a box Okay, who knew?

Okay, get out. It was so cool because I actually, you know, to be in a movie with him And we were at the premiere together And we got to take pictures together And I'd met him and talked with him A few other times in the comedy clubs But did you ever meet him?

No, his son came to see me in San Francisco years ago And he was like, that's maybe the best Robin Williams I've ever seen, the best impression. My dad's Robin Williams. Oh, wow. bring him back the next day and then he didn't bring him and I was like all bummed out like this sucks but then like three days later he was in rehab so oh wow so I was like a moment of oh how selfish am I that I'm thinking this sucks he didn't show up and meanwhile he's and that was

sooner not long after that I think he passed away I mean it was maybe another dude oh do you do an impression of him passing away no I don't okay but you could try and do a Robin Williams, and it'll happen just because that's what happens every time you do one. Yeah, let me try. Oh, hey. Ah! No. It's terrible.

It's terrible. Who do you look like when you do that face you were doing? Which one? The one, the robin. All the faces. There's something. I look like the scarecrow from Wizard of Allows. Yes.

Yes. There's a little bit of that. Ray Bulger. Ray Buff. I only. Yeah. I only had a brain. If I only had a brain,

I could while away the hours, reflecting with the flowers. Listen, recasting, you got it. I think you'd be, I mean... Really? I think you'd be really good at that. I think the scarecrow. Hey, Adolphi!

Is there an impression that just bothers you because you can't crack it? Lots of them. Lots of them. Is there one stickler one that you just like, I've spent 300 hours in front of the mirror. I give up way before that. I'm trying to think who's somebody that, name some people. I'm trying to think if you've never seen me do and I'll tell you why I can't do.

There's some that I'll tell you this more. There's some that I hit for a second and then can't ever get back. Oh, not the worst. That's the toughest. You hear it in your head. You know you nailed it. I even get it out a little bit. I did a woody hair.

Carlson once that was like pretty good. I did a couple others liked that of Tom Hanks, like actual Tom Hanks. Oh, the real Tom Hanks. Yeah. But can you do the Gump Hanks? Everybody does the Gump Hanks.

They do? They do. My mama said life was like a box of chocolate. No. Ah. Ah. I think you also could play some type of Hulk. Like, that's you changing into the Holt.

Oh, really? Yeah, Harlan Banner. David Banner's or Bruce Bannor. Harlan Banner. I've noticed you don't do any girl impressions. I don't have the skills. You don't have one? I don't have that particular set of skills.

Oh, I can do a few. Okay. Maybe that's where I'm good at. Yeah, let's see. I could do the Queen of England, Frank. Do you like it? I do. Welcome to.

Why, are you doing it? I think I was down a little bit. It's kind of a multi-python. Oh my goodness, look that, because I'm doing a woman. You're doing a woman now. Yes, of course. It looks like I've inspired you almost. It's very inspirational. And I can do Charlis Theron. Okay.

Yeah. Pretend I'm like I'm a spy and I'm Shalish Ler Shlawn. And what's her name? It sounds like a bathroom tissue. I don't know, but Charlize Theron? You ruined it for me. I couldn't think of it.

for a second uh here's her like uh she's lining up a spy hey you i'm gonna shoot you if you don't get out of there you're russian bastard and that's her with throat cancer yeah i'm trying i can't do it normal not to find that funny in anyway well then how about uh what's her name angelina jolly oh i bet you do a great one this is her uh in a romance she's on the beach uh hey there there buddy you want to have a beer with me later and that's her with full-blown uh COVID SARS AIDS COVID SARS and AIDS because I can't get up there I can't get the register high enough yeah that's what I bring it down it's what I do you make it something different you make it it its own character it's like a throat cancer of SARS and AIDS of COVID and it I sort of find it

It does kind of sound like a Disney blobish type of character. Yeah. I mean, I don't think you have to get mad just because you can't do girl voices. Yeah, I think it's just jealousy. That's what I feel like's coming off of you. Yeah, there's a lot. Well, God, I said it earlier. When's it my turn to shine?

You know what? You know what? I'm going to call it being envious, not jealous. Envious is a little softer. You know what I feel? because not only do you not do girl impressions, I just did three. Does that

hurt? It hurts about as much as posts one of your impressions. Oh, really? Wait a second. The female impressions, they don't injure you. Yeah, that's true. Must be a hormonal balance. There's a hormonal like symbiotic

calamadron that fallatulates on the stetasteroon. yeah do you get jealous of other like really top-notch guys or do you love seeing other try not to watch too many people because you don't want you don't want to take what they're what they've yeah i could see that hey everybody check out my merchandise at harbling dot com yeah most people just slap some letters or images on a t-shirt or a hoodie but not me. Yours truly. Guess what? I draw my own designs at hardbleng.com. You can see tons of my hand-drawn t-shirts. You can either buy the original or you can buy a print

and man, oh man, wear them loud and proud. I love making these designs for you guys and keeping it personal. So check out the whole catalog. We got hoodies, we got coffee mugs, got t-shirts, you name it, it's there at Harbling.com. Get your Harland original design, wearable art at Harbling.com today. And thank you for your support, and I'll just keep the, the groovy images coming. It's like the most stolen person, stolen from person, I think, is probably Dana Carvey. Really? Harvey, like everybody's doing that, not going to die.

He would do impressions and people would just take his stuff. So I just early on didn't want to watch other people doing it. That makes sense. But is there a level of competitiveness where maybe you do see, let's say you see someone do like whoever, like a Brad Pitt voice and you're like, oh, I got, I got to learn that. Not because you want to top that guy, but just it's a creative challenge. Well, it's almost like I'd want to stay away from it because they don't want to be seen as if nobody else does it. Like, a friend, do you know Ross Marquand?

The Prime Minister of France? No. Okay. Ross, Ross does a lot. He does a, who did you say there? Brad Pitt. He does a Brad Pitt and he does a bunch. And he does some other ones like that.

And I'm more envious of it and more like, wow, that is like kind of a, kind of like a bow, I bow down to you. That's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah, it's more of that. Is it a pain in the ass to? because you have to kind of stay up to speed with current celebrities. So when a new celebrity, like a, you know, whoever the latest hot, do you have to chase that

and learn how to do that? I think it can help, but that's why you just try to have other material and stuff like that. So it's not all you're doing. Yeah, you do a whole show where it's not all voices. Well, it's in between the voices are talked around and stuff like that. It's not like a rich little, okay, I'm this person, this person, this person. I always looked at the impressions is more like, you know, when you're listening to a radio show and the producer has buttons to press.

Yeah. I liked it more as that. It's like, you just press the little buttons and then all of a sudden, the Donald Trump is back. Yeah. Or the Morgan Freeman explaining or the Robert Downey Jr. is just burping through the line. Wait, what do you burp? Yeah, the Robert Downey Jr. Cadence is just one, two, burp three, four, five, six, seven. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's what gives him the little gaps in his speech. It's what, it's, he doesn't do it that big, but it's, it's his cadence. So I do count, like, I've done this on the internet and stuff like that, too. It's counting. So Robert Downey Jr. is one, two, burp, three, four, five, six, seven. Liam Neeson is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Jeff Goldblum is like a, by the way, that just sounded a lot like my Charlize Theron. when you said seven.

He played her for part of it. Well, you just said you don't like to copy other guys. And when you said, seven, that sounded a lot like, anyways, keep going. Wow. Keep going. Keep going? Morgan Freeman would be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I'd try to do that differently.

One, a fact of the matter is, one, two, three, four, five, six. I just ended six. Wow. Wow. I don't think I, I think that, I'd have to rethink that counting. I love the Morgan Freeman one. The old school, like the William Shatner's, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, fellow Canadian. If you ever rent a car at Enterprise car rental,

I'd love you to walk up and do it as Shatner. Did he do ads for them or one of them? No, but the Enterprise. Oh, I must have a Dodge Neon. I'm driving to Bakersfield in the middle of the night. I must have a four-cylinder car with two airbags and rear-end buzzing traction. I don't want to hit a raccoon on the way. What do you mean?

You don't have the car I chose available, and you want an upgrade. Do you have to pay for the upgrade? Well, I'm not doing that. I'm not paying for the upgrade. You didn't have the car I chose. You're supposed to have the car. Didn't Jerry Seinfeld say you're good at taking the reservation, but you're not good at holding the reservation?

Well, I need you to do it all. Spock! An enterprise, right? You got to do it at Enterprise. I missed the whole point, but that was great, yeah. You missed the Enterprise reference? I did at the beginning. I was thinking ads, but it was...

If we're going to be a team, and I'm going to lob them up for you, you've got to do the slam dunk, my guy. Yeah, you were throwing a... You were just giving me a softball, and I was swinging a wiffleball bat. Swinging a wiffle ball bat. And then you were supposed to go right into Shatner. I was, and I didn't. But guess what?

Through the power of editing, it can be done. Although you did yours, and we got a whole new bit. Wait, ready? Yes. Watch this. Hello, sir, welcome to Enterprise Rent-A-Car. How may we help you? Captain's Long.

Star Date 9-1-1. I've rented a Dodge Neon. Yes. I'm looking for one with dual airbags. It's been placed on my special preferences. I'm a valued customer. I'm going to need it now. I'm going to prepay the gas.

Would you like insurance with that, sir? I've got my own insurance. Can you tell us who they are? I don't believe I have to. Will you be the only one driving the vehicle, sir? I will be. And do you want to put a body in the trunk? Yes.

You thought no was coming, and I said yes. I thought no was coming. I didn't know what was coming. That might have been the longest, the longest dramatic pause in the history of film. It's a pregnant pause, pregnant with quadruplets. Yeah, that was the octal mom giving a pregnant pause right there. The octopause right there, yes, of course. And the, wait, wait, it was phenomenal.

Oh, buddy. Well, dude, you're so good. I just love what you do. Are you ready for our final segment? Yeah. This is, oh, by the way, do you do throat exercises? Not yet. For your impressions?

Maybe this is why I can't do it. Give me one more and I'll do my throat exercises. A different impression that I haven't done? Sports guy, John grew up. Give me one. Oh, we'll give you a famous A-lister. Uh, who's a good one? Adam Sandler.

Okay, I'm going to do my throat extras. I use a Lysol toilet bowl cleaner. Oh, no, might be. Hold on, because this really cleans the pipes. Yeah, really does. And then I suck on a light bulb. And then lastly, I use a little Pam. And I do lamprey sucking noises.

Have you ever seen a lamprey? Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Okay. Sandler? Yeah. Okay.

You be the other character, and I'll just go right into it. Hey, what's going on, buddy? I'd like to rent a car for my friend, Adam Sandler. Oh, wait. Wait, you're one behind. Oh, for fun. Oh, no. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Hi, I'm sure least they're on. I will find you.

And I will. Rent a car from you. That was crushed. Basically, you just did what my act is. That was pretty. Good. Ask me a question. Anything. What is the meaning of life?

Chocolate. I took a page from here with the long pregnant pause. I could have just said chocolate immediately, but did you see? I almost matched your paws. But I was looking for it because you did the Trump, you did the Trump lips. but you weren't doing when we were doing Trump. Oh, I thought it was doing Shatner. You were doing Shatner body, but Trump lips.

What? I was doing Shatlips. Captain's Log, Stard 8-9-1, we're doing a tremendous job. I was doing shit lips. Mr. Spock. By the way, I got Pam all over my shoulder. Yeah, I saw that. God.

Better than where it could have gone. I mean, you drank Lysol and you worried about Pam on your shoulder. Pam, on my shoulder makes me happy. And if it does, you should just keep doing it. Thanks. Buddy, our final segment. Wait, we already did the final segment. No, no, this is the final segment with everybody.

Oh. It's called Words from a Wooden Shoe. This is an official Dutch clog. It's our last segment. Okay. You reach in, pull a random word, and see if it ignites a story from your journey in life. Something you did, something you saw, someone you know. What is your random word, my guy?

It's a phrase. Okay. And I should tell you what it is. Yes. Or make out in a car. Okay. Any story from your life or experience in your journey that... You know, it's weird.

A lot of people don't know this, but I started out as a ventriloquist. You did? Yeah. I was doing ventriloquist. I mean, I had quite a few. different puppets that I traveled around with and

you know it gets lonely out of the road so maybe this isn't the right story to be telling so you were in a car with some puppets and where did you

get that car? Did you rent it? From Enterprise of course I actually had a Shatner puppet but what yeah the the audience didn't like him because he paused too long and I couldn't get him to stop I he'd be doing this and I'd be like what's the problem he'd be like I just can't and I'd be like come on yeah let's go we got to go with this yeah he just wouldn't do it so I had to get rid of him oh god yeah it's like that he was the one making out with every all the other

puppets oh really yeah yeah Kirk was always like our ladies man yeah Oh, he was Captain Kirkwood. Yeah, he was always messing around with the aliens. Yeah, yeah. He was like, and the predators, alien versus predator. I do it all. Captain's log. Let's end the show with the captain's log.

Go ahead. We've been on an incredible journey down the Harlan Highway. We've wondered, we've thought. We've become different characters. We've stayed ourselves at times. We've learned stuff. We've wasted time. But in the end,

ah! buddy, buddy, what a pleasure having Frank Kellyando here on the Harlan Highway. touring? Are you doing shows? Where can people see you? Go to Frank onstage.com. Yeah. That is the website. And you can spell Caliando if you wanted, Frank Caliando. And I believe, you said I came up with this. I think you did.

Why? The letter C, the word alien, and the word do. That's my name. Frank C. Alien do. And, but you can go to Frank Calliando.com or at Frank Calliand. Or Frank onstage.com gets you there. Paramount Theater in Aurora, Illinois. In Aurora, Illinois, the Paramount Theater. Right outside of Chicago. Yeah, I'll be there. Oh, yeah.

How long is your show, like an hour, an hour and a half? An hour plus with an Oprah hour and a half. Oh, yeah. Yeah, buddy. Oh. And you're doing mostly theaters? Or you're doing comedy clubs and theaters? Clubs and theaters.

Just depends on where. And you have a website and social media they can find you? Frankonstage.com. Yeah. Has all the tour dates. and then at Frank Caliando across all social media. Oh, folks, you got to go see Frank. You saw him going at it here today.

He is hilarious. He's probably the best out there right now. You're going to love him. And I'm coming to all your shows. Do you have a stalker yet? Yeah, you. Yeah. I will be at all your shows.

Gosh, that's good. Stalking you, waiting in the car from Enterprise. folks that's it for today on the harland highway podcast uh frank calliando go check them out and until next time chicken chow maine baby right morgan uh yes it doesn't get any better than chicken chow main i concur and that's one of the dishes it's a new dish oh it sounds sesame seed concur. Bye, Frank. Hi.

You do do girls' voices. No, that was... I think I was a dead person. That's a girl, Frank. Okay. Hey, gang, are you craving more Harland Williams? We'll join our Patreon page at patreon.com backslash

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