The Harland Highway - HARLAND CALL IN SHOW - maybe solving your problems, maybe not? But I'm a good listener, and FLINTZ!!

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

Harland takes in calls, gives advice, and maybe solves your problems, or maybe not. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in.

ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your device, devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at ora.com slash control. That's a-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, here we go, here we go. Yep, hey, welcome, folks. A little add-on before we start the show.

Wanted to give you an update about the 100,000 subscribers. YouTube plaque that we are sending out for you guys to enjoy and participate with. So we've got our 20 people. I want to thank everyone for writing in. We had almost 500 people write in to be part of the plaque. It was overwhelming. It was amazing. We're so sorry for those of you that we couldn't send it to, but we had to, you know, just narrow it down to 20. And so the plaque is it's going to start making its way to the various people that got in and they're going to spend three days with it each they're going to shoot video they're going to take pictures and then hopefully the plaque makes its way back here to the hallway and we can show you the results we'll show you the

video we'll show you uh the pavement pounders that got to spend time with the good old plaque and i got to say because the response was so overwhelming, and because, I don't know if you've been to the Coliseum, but just to mail the plaque to the next person, we didn't want to run up the cost of it, and we had participants from Canada, Australia, Norway, Germany, all over the world. And so what we decided we're going to do is once the plaque makes it back home on this American tour, we're going to send it out again to do a Canadian tour, a Swedish tour, a German, Tour, an Australian tour. We're going to keep it going. We want the plaque to make it all over the world. And so for those of you that feel like you missed a chance at it, we're coming to your

country. And then who knows, we might even send it back out around America again. So we'll see how this first one goes. If it all goes well, why not do it again? Okay, so that's the update. The plaque is on its way. In a few months, we should have all the results. The plaque comes back home. we hang it, and who doesn't want to hang plaque. So that's it. That's the update. Thank you again, everyone who signed up. Love you guys.

If you haven't subscribed, subscribe to the Harlan Highway podcast right now. And let's keep rocking and rolling. And now let's get to the show. And that's how the meatloaf monster catches it. He catches you off guard with his scent, with his flavor. and while you're indulging, he just and he sucks you in and you become part of the loaf. And so this isn't a laughing matter gang.

Meatloaf monsters are real. They're out there. They're dangerous. They want to consume you. You're riding down the Harland Highway. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Harland Williams. All right, let's go.

Let's do it. It's a crack of frosty, a little frosty. Listen to this. Sounds like a sea turtle's neck breaking. Oh, poor little endangered sea turtles. It's no wonder they're endangered. They're always breaking their necks, falling off of bicycles and bungee jumping. Sea turtles shouldn't be bungee jumping.

Rolling into refrigerators at Home Depot in the home appliance area. They just get on those. carts and they roll in and they're this soggy little blubbery kelp sucking necks get just and you wonder why they're endangered sea turtles uh but enough about that here we go uh-huh oh well now if memory serves me correctly uh that's right uh-huh You on the Hall-Haw-Way podcast. And oh, look at me stiffing my arm up for a little bit of sexual. Look, normally I'd just go, you on it up, but look, I'd tighten it up.

I'll even peel it back. Look at this. Give you some meat. You want some meat for the show? You on the, look how stiff it is because I'm flexing. You on the Holland Highway podcast player. Oh, look at the meat. Oh, oh.

Oh, what a gun show. I mean, you know, folks, you're not going to go on Rogan. You're not going to go on Theo Vaughan's show. You're not going to get the meat. You're not going to get the sex beef. This is called sex beef, down in Korea Town, at least. I'll be walking around going through the show. Oh, look at the sex beef.

Here it come. We've got the sex brief. Show us the other one. Show it the cup of a sex brief, funny guy. That's the accent I hear. So, yeah, welcome to the Harland Highway podcast. We're going to do another call-in show. You know, I like to do them from time to time

so I can stay connected to all y'all out there, all 15 of my viewers. How about Sandy Slytherlegs down there in Texas? And over there in Boston, we got, Garbage dump lips Lonnie. How you doing, Lonnie? Live long and prosper, you garbage dump, snort and freak. Who else we got?

We got Peggy Lynn cancer lumps over there and, well, she's in the hospital. But hey, I won't do the live long and prosper to you because you got the lumps and probably ain't going to make it. And I'm not trying to be a downer. She got the lumps. So I can't, I didn't give her the lump. I give her the hall and highway, the only lump I give her is this lump right here. You, you want the lump, you got that luh.

I'll give you the lump right in your face. You want the luh, you can suck on the lump. Mm, p, lump. So we do the call-in show. You guys call in. You give me your, your questions, your observations, your music. your thoughts, your inquiries, your queries. And I also have straight listeners, too.

So they're not all queries. 323-6-960222. If you want to phone in and get on the next round, a hallway phone call, you might just get in. We get a lot of calls. So you just never know who's going to get in or who's going to do what?

okay so um without further a do-do i say we uh we get on with it oh before we start i got a i got to introduce you to my co-host today um cheddar cheese wally is here or so no is it wallet charlie cheddar cheese charlie my co-host today how you doing cheddar cheese hello i'm over here Hello, stupid. Cheddar cheese Charlie's here, and, you know what, we're going to take some calls. We're going to take your calls. Let's get to the first call right here, and let's see what we got now.

Mr. Harlan, how we doing? This is Charlie from Miami, Florida. I just want to say, man, I'm a great fan of you. It's amazing. How funny you are, bro. You just got it to you, bro. It's amazing. You've roasting David Lucas.

one of my favorite clips. I had a question for you. Yes. How many inches in one inch? Whoa. How many inches in one inch, which is akin to the question how many feet are in one foot,

which is also akin to how many meters in one meat, Wow. You know, I think it's hard to determine because I think the word inch and the measurement inch came from an insect called an inchworm. I don't know if y'all have ever seen an inchworm crawling around. They even named a dance after the inchworm. And for many, many centuries, maybe even hundreds of millions of years, these reliable little insects, the inchworm, never grew to more than an inch. And so the real question is,

how many inchworms in an inch, and it used to be one. But then this little thing came along called evolution. I think you've all heard of evolution. Hello, Charles Jargin on line five. I meant Charles Darwin. Okay, so I slurred it. Okay, I'll do it.

Hello, Charles Darwin on line five. Hello. So what happened is inchworms evolved. They got tired of being categorized and labeled and constrained by such a small measurement. Imagine being an inchworm or a worm and, you know, crawling around. in the bushes in the garden with all the other critters, the millipedes, the centipedes, the lady bugs, the grasshoppers. Hey man, how big are you?

Well, I'm an inch. How big? Uh, I'm an inch. Really? Yeah, I'm an inchworm. Really? How big are you when you get aroused? Well, I'm always an inch.

And so here's what happened. Evolution come along. Hello, Charles Darwin on line 59. And the inchworm said enough. I am not going to stay an inch any longer. And now you can get inchworms that are over an inch, two inches. I think some of them even grew into three, four inch territory. And this is evolution. This is the ego of an insect. This is the price. This is the of an insect saying, I am not going to be an inch anymore. In fact, why don't we remove that name? Why don't they modify the name like they've done with so many other cultures and racially insensitive and hold on.

I had a scratch in my throat. But why don't we rename them like the couple of inches worm? Itchy throat. You know? So to answer your question, sir, how many inches are in an inch? It's ambiguous. It's not known now because we have to,

that measurement relies on the stagnation of the evolution of the lowly inchworm. And I don't mean to call you lowly, but you are. You're a worm and you eat lettuce leaves. So until they stop evolving, until they settle on a increment, a measurement that we can rely on,

let's just throw the inch out the window. I think we're going to have to start guessing. We're going to have to start guessing on measurements, architecture, everything. How long's your boat? I don't know. Why don't you ask? the many inchworm.

How, how, what's the square footage of your house? Who knows? Let's sit around and wait for the inchworm to evolve. Like, it's just, it's blowing everything up. So it's a very good question, and I'm guessing now you asked it because you're most likely trying to fit something into somewhere with an accurate set of proportions

and you're unable to do it. because Mr. Inchwam ain't playing ball anymore. Mr. Incham don't play that. Mr. Inchum can't be kept in a cage and can't be kept to an inch. And by the way, this is just from experience and don't think poorly of me. Don't think me perverted. I'm just curious. One night, one candlelit night, one starry moonlit night in front of the fireplace

with some Randy and some Kenny G. playing in the background. I had an inchworm in my possession, and I stroked it lovingly, dare I say, erotically. Just out of curiosity, it was not sexual, it was not bestiality. I stroked it to see, and this inchworm grew to about six inches. It was stimulated. It was aroused. This is what happens. That's where it ended. I got some cauliflower leaves. I threw them out the door and that horny little bastard went after him. Never saw him again. But just scientifically, don't rely on the inchworm for your measurements, my guy. I hope that answers your question. Let's move along,

okay uh chucky cheese face or whatever charlie cheese wheel or whoever the hell you are um here we go hey harland john razz rub knees here uh i have a huge problem i hope you can give me some advice uh this is about my daughter uh she doesn't show me respect oh and uh she doesn't speak in complete sentences and she thinks she can just boss me around and she she just does uh for example i ask her what she wants for breakfast. She always just eats butter and cheese. Butter and cheese. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

She said no. When I ask her if she wants something else, like a carrot or eggs or something for breakfast, but she always says no. I ask her if she wants to take a bath. She said no. I asked her the other day to mow the lawn. She said no. No.

And it just seems like that's the only word she knows is no. No. But I know she knows other words because, you know, obviously you ask someone to take a bath or you ask someone to eat a carrot. They must know what it is, but she just says no. And I guess how do I get her to stop harassing me and to help out around the house? Thanks, Harlem. Well, here, I'll give you the short answer and the long answer. The short answer is, my friend, and you're in luck.

and this might not be the answer you want to hear, but your kid lives on a diet of butter and cheese, according to you. So the kids maybe only got a few years left. I mean, when you're slamming down butter and cheese, that's your diet as a child. Look, you might as well be, you know, licking bacon sandwiches before you go to bed at night. I mean, butter and cheese for a kid,

just let her eat her way into the grave. and I know that sounds mean and cruel, but she's a problem, kid. Let her eat her way out of your life. Just leave bricks of butter out, leave stacks, wheels of cheese. Let her go. Let her.

She wants to give you a hard time. You sound young. You could have another kid. Who needs old braddy McButter cheese over here? Now that's the short answer. here's the long answer if you want your daughter to live and I'm guessing you do let me play back something that you said over and over and over during your phone call ready hit it it's it's going to be one word you kept saying over and over and over here it is well I ask her what

she wants for breakfast when I ask her if she wants something else like I ask her if she wants to take a bash she said no I asked her the other day to mow the lawn ask I ask her ask her ask her ask her Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask. You see what you did there, my guy, as a parent? Here you've got this kid, children who inherently become defiant, who become boisterous, who like to test the boundaries of the parental units. Remember, you're a parent. The problem here is you're asking this kid.

In what world do we ask kids? Sometimes we ask kids, but you're a parent, man. Who's in control of this relationship? You or the buttered cheese eating brat. You don't ask all the time. You tell. Hey, you know what you're having for breakfast? A pancake and a carrot.

Eat it. Oh, you're not going to eat it. Okay. No dessert. Go to your room. I'm not asking you to cut out, cut the lawn. I'm telling you, get out there and cut the lawn. You're a member of this family.

You're under my roof. Get out there and cut the lawn. Get out there and wash the car. Get out there and shovel the driveway. Get to your room. We're going for a walk. We're going to a movie. And I'm not saying be a tyrant.

I'm not saying just order your kid around to do everything. But dude, you are being one of those kind of Starbucky parents. Oh, Butter Eater, do you want to go outside, Butter Eater? No? Okay. Okay, Daddy's going to sit on the love seat. wait till you're ready what you do you don't want me to sit on you want me to go down in the basement and duct tape my face to the wall okay if you you're in charge not me like dude you're the parent

be the parent use some authority show that little brat and any brat that comes behind this brat who's the boss okay you're the adult don't be afraid to exert your authority and by the way children need that you're probably saying oh my god i can't tell my child what to do i have to ask my child no you don't look back on your child though did your did your parents ask you to do everything now they probably told you why because they're in charge they make the rules and the telling isn't a a product of trying to be a dictator the telling is trying to guide the child to direct the child to do certain things. The child's always going to understand choice.

The child, as the child develops, it's going to understand how to push back and negotiate and bargain, and I don't want to, like, well, how about if I do this, you do that? But when they're young, when their minds are still forming, when you're in a home

and you're creating a family and an environment for children, dude, man up. And I'm not mocking you. I'm not degrading you, but, dude, just listen to your man. I asked her this, I asked her that, I asked her this, I asked her that. Well, what kind of any child just sees that as weakness? Ask her, I ask her.

She's probably sitting there. Why is he asking me? This guy's got a beard and a mortgage and three cars in the driveway and a job and he's got a wife. He's asking me. I'm six years old. This guy's got no cahoities. I'm going to run this guy around like a chimpanzee at a circus.

is for, uh, three-legged freaks. Ask, ask, ask, ask. So, dude, I'm giving you a bit of tough love here. It's time to switch gears, show the butter eater who's in charge, and stop asking. And I can tell already you're, you're terrified of that. And you'll probably try it three times and she'll push back and you'll go, oh, I can't do that. Dude, push through it.

It's probably going to cause a little tension, a little friction, but eventually, you're You've got to drive at home to your child that you're the boss and you're not always asking. Now, it is okay to ask sometimes, but it depends what it is. It's like Christmas morning. Honey, would you like to open your Christmas present? Honey, would you like to say a prayer with us? Would you like to, you know, you can always ask. But when you want something done from a kid, when you want to show that you're in charge,

that's your house, your rules, do it. But you have to figure out the way to do it. it in a way that keeps the balance, keeps the peace. But right now, dude, you're way out of balance. You're just letting her rule the roast. She's the king. You're the peasant. And man up because kids, you know, kids want a father figure.

And we live in a society. I know it's not easy where men are now emasculated. Men are a lot more feminized. Men are encouraged not to be men. Children need a man. Don't be afraid to be what God made you, a man. And don't be afraid if every now and then your child throws a hissy fit or thinks you're being mean or overbearing.

That's your job to have some sort of control with the kid. You know you love the kid. You know you respect and honor the kid. And the kid knows that in the heart. As long as you're not beating or abusing or shoving a brick of butter down her throat. And by the way, that's another one. Threaten her with the butter. Find the thing she likes and go, hey, you don't do what I tell you.

We're getting rid of the butter and I'm getting the, I can't believe it's not butter spray. See how you like that there, cholesterol, Carol. So, dude, I hope this helps. Look, it's tough love. I'm giving you tough love, but I want to resolve your problem. Man up and start telling your damn kid what to do and stop asking. Like I said, you can ask here and there, but you got to start being the rules. giver, you've got to start being the king of your own castle and stop being the little

puthy cat hiding behind the couch in your own castle because kids are perceptive, kids are smart, they pick up on weakness, they pick up on vulnerability, and they will ride you around like a crippled pony at a polio festival. So get on it, man. It's not too late. And in the end, I think your kid will appreciate your masculinity. I think your kid will appreciate your leadership. I think that kid will start to build inside of them that they know their father is strong and that they can rely on him. And when he needs to be firm, he is.

And she will start to comply. But if you keep being wishy-washy and asking about everything, well, you're doomed, bro. And you might as well start eating butter and bacon. and lettuce and just, like, call it quits. So there's my advice. Take it or leave it. I'm just trying to help. You asked.

You asked. So there you go. Stop asking. Well, you asked me. See, you stop asking. Just tell me you want the answer. And I just gave it to you. So there you go.

Oh, that felt good to get that out of my system. Hey, Harlan. This is Salvatore down here in Boise, Idaho. area, Nampa, specifically. And I just had a quick question for you, man. I, you know, I'd like to consider myself a pretty goofy guy. I've been listening to your podcast a lot, and they've inspired me to be even a little bit goofier.

But, see, I've got this little issue, I think, where I have a hard time sort of deciphering whether or not a situation requires a little bit of goof or if I should be a little bit more serious. So I was just wondering if you had any advice for me on, you know, how to transition. from that goofy attitude into, you know, maybe a more serious conversation because I've noticed watching a lot of podcasts with you when it comes to Rogan. He was talking about Phil Hartman, and you dropped to act, and you said, oh, man, I'm really, you know, I'm really sorry that that must have been a hard experience.

So you seem to have a really good grip on, you know, letting go of the goof and being serious when the time comes for it. So I just wonder if you had any advice for me on how to sort of separate those two things. and I appreciate all the laughs, man. You're a wonderful guy. Love you, love you with my whole heart. I love you. All right, I love you so much, bye.

You did say that was going to be a really quick question, right? You heard it. I'm going to play it back. And I just had a quick question for you, man. But it's okay. I'm playing. Player, I'm playing. Players got to play, player.

I don't, it was a great question. And God bless Phil Hartman. Oh, my God. And yes, we did talk about that on Joe Rogan's podcast. And here's my answer to being goofy and silly. It's important to be goofy and silly. It's important not to lose the playfulness that you had as a youth. It's important not to let the weight of the world make you too serious

and make you too rigid and take you to a place where you forget to laugh and be silly and goofy. It's important. That's what this whole podcast is. But my advice to you is just read the rumor. guy. A lot of people will act out and be silly and goofy. And I think what happens is they're doing it at everyone else's expense. They're just like, you know what, I'm going to go into goofy mode. It's almost like the drunk guy at the party, right? It's like, I'm going to get drunk. I'm going to

dance on the table and I don't care who sees me or what I say or what I do. If I puke everywhere, if I fall. So there's, there's like there's snow plowing into goofiness. And then there's, there's sort of the tactical levels of goofiness where you read the room. When I say the room, I mean other people. You read the energy, you read the vibe, and you adapt. You have to adapt quickly. It's okay to be goofy, but if you see that someone is having an adverse reaction or the topic changes quickly as it did when me and Joe were goofing around and suddenly we're talking about Phil Hartman being murdered, I just adapt on the fly because I'm, paying attention. While I'm being goofy, I'm listening. And so it's kind of two things happening

in tandem, my friend. You have to be goofy, but be omnipresent of what's going on around you. And the last thing you want to do when you're being goofy is become overly goofy to the point where you're just annoying. Or maybe you're hurting someone's feelings. Now, you're not always going to get it right. But what I would say is when you turn the goofy swing, switch on, turn the other switch on where you're kind of reading the room. Not to the point where you're so trepidacious that you can't be goofy because goofy is very spontaneous. Goofy kind of just explodes out of us. It's natural. But in the wave of being goofy, if you kind of get a sense that, ooh, that didn't go over too good, well then maybe just shift gears, moderate, keep the goofy,

maybe tone it down, find the way to bring it back up. You got to. be you. You're not there to placate the rest of the room. You can't, you can't dance around everyone's feelings. But I think my friend, my goofy curious friend, my bi-guuffy, curious friend, if you want to learn to sort of master your goofiness a bit and wrangle it a bit more, I recommend you just kind of take the blinders off and kind of be perceptive, see what's around you, know your environment as you enter into goofy world. And if you can walk that line, do it.

And you know what? If for some reason your goofy just comes blasting out of the gates and there's no controlling it, then I say take no prisoners. You can't go through life worrying about everybody else's feelings. And if they're hurt and if they think you over did it, like, you know what, you got to be you. So if you're somewhere, even at a funeral,

it doesn't matter where you are, if somehow that comes out of you, you just got to let it come out. And if you look around after you and see people staring at you, they're shaking their heads or, well, nobody died, okay? It's not like anybody died. And maybe someone gets their ass chapped or whatever.

But so those are my perceptions on being goofy. I hope there's something there you can. news and as a guy who's never goofy, I don't even know why I'm giving you advice because goofy is not something I do, right stupid? See? I didn't care what Charlie Cheese Factory said over it. What's your name? Cheesecake Factory Face? What is it? I don't know. So there you go, my guy. Thank you for the call and let's move on down to Holland Highway. Hey Harlan, I'm a stay-at-home mom, and I'm looking to make some extra money. I was thinking about growing gourd and heard it was a very successful line of work.

Anyway, I heard from a little birdie. You had a really good friend who was a gourd farmer. He was very short, had a wobbly neck, two broken arms, a little bit obsessive. and died a horrible tragic farm death. Um, yeah, so I was wondering if you had any advice on how to start and maybe some tips and tricks on growing gourds and how to maybe prevent death. Hi, I'm Danny Lopiori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia.

It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more.

Start your free trial at ORA.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. Thank you. Love you. Bye. All right. Full disclosure, I can tell right away that call was sort of a plant. Let me explain. First of all, the oddity of Gourd farming. Who does that? Nobody. Well, maybe I do. But way back in my college days, this is a, this is a, this. is kind of a bizarre story. And there's going to be a film clip to come along with it. So bear with me. Way back in my college days, video cameras became a thing. Now, nowadays, we have our phones,

right? We have these. Everyone's got a video camera. And you don't think twice about it. It's just, yeah, I can video anything. But back when I was coming through college in the 80s, no one had these. So if you wanted to shoot a video, you had to go out and buy a video. camera and this was pre the early 80s was even pre they sold video cameras video cameras video cameras were a rarity and so in order to get your hands on a video camera you actually had to go to like like a store like a a why a hi-fi stereo shop or something and rent a video camera and and so i so loved making little movies or the idea of making little videos and movies and just being a uh as we talked about earlier and a fool of myself, I would go and take all the money I had and it was like two, three hundred

dollars for a weekend just to rent a big old video camera and it came with a big battery pack. You had to get the whole thing and it plugged in and you had to carry this whole concoction around and make videos and, but to me it was worth it because I was so enamored with making videos and passionate about it. And so one of the things I did way back then in college is I, I used to find things, props that would be fun to make videos with. And I found this little bobblehead doll, one of those ones that punch, you know, with the boxing gloves on.

And I found this really creepy one with like curly hair and rosy cheeks and a little smile. And for some reason, the name Flint's just popped into my head, you know. So flints, I call them flints. And I started going out into cornfields and into wheat fields and into wheat fields and into out into the mountains of Quebec and I did winter flints and I did cornfield flints and I started shooting all these flints videos and eventually I shot one with my roommates from college and it was called Harvest Flints. One of my roommates Steve, Steve Williams, he lived on this nice sort of little compound where he had some acreage and he had a tractor and, and so,

So me and my other roommate, or our other roommate, Reg, we went up to visit them, and I brought Flint. And I said, let's shoot a video. And I said, what do you got around the house that could be fun? And he goes, well, I have a tractor down in the barn. And I saw a bunch of gourds sitting out on his table. And you know, gourds. They're the weirdest looking fruit or vegetable. I don't even know. I think they're like pumpkins with herpes, to be honest. They look like the world's first original sex toys. Like if you look like a gourd, those things are like nature's butt plugs. I mean, just look at them. So anyways, I said to my buddies, I said, let's just shoot a video called Harvest Flint and Flint's will be a gourd harvester and we'll just wing it.

I literally made it up as I went along. We'd shoot a thing. I'd tell Steve, I'd say, okay, Steve, you say this. Redd, you say that. And then I did the voice. of flints flints was kind of talked like this he was kind of the original i don't know if you remember the gingerbread man from shrek but i was doing flints way back in the 80s he kind of talks like this oh i'm gonna get you you know like he was it's a real funny voice and um and you know what i've still got that damn doll i'm gonna go i'm gonna go and get him for you right now and uh i'll be right back i want you to see flints he's he's hilarious and then i'll and then i'll tell you why this was a staged call and tell you about Harvest Flints and all the gourds.

Hey everybody, check out my merchandise at Harbling.com. Yeah, most people just slap some letters or images on a T-shirt or a hoodie, but not me. Yours truly. Guess what? I draw my own designs at Harbleng.com. You can see tons of my hand-drawn. t-shirts. You can either buy the original or you can buy a print. And man, oh man, wear them loud and proud. I love making these designs for you guys and keeping it personal. So check out the whole catalog. We got hoodies. We got coffee mugs. We got t-shirts. You name it. It's there at harbleng.com. Get your Harland original design, wearable art. hardblink.com today and thank you for your support and I'll just keep the the

groovy images coming oh my god here he is you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna bring him up close to the camera so you can see him he's the creepiest guy this is flintz hi everybody I'm Flint, and I'm going to put your lights out. Look at him. Creepy, right? His head just fell off, which isn't uncommon. His hair's falling out.

Oh, God, he's so old. Remember, I bought this guy, I bought this guy in the early 80s for like $2 at a, like, a weird little shop on Young Street in Toronto. And so I started shooting all these videos And then we went up to my buddy Steve's house And just I'm going to show you Harvest Flints We shot this video called Harvest Flints And just for a little back history When you're watching it's Steve

Who plays farmer He plays the farmer on the tractor in this video We went to animation school Me, Steve and Regge were ruined roommate in animation school, and I can tell you stories all day about that. But check this out. Steve Williams, who me and him told everyone we were brothers, if you've seen Jurassic Park, Steve is the guy who created the Tyrannosaurus Rex in Jurassic Park. He created the Liquid Terminator in Terminator 2.

He directed all the animation in the mask with Jim Carrey. I mean, the guy's credits are crazy. And there's a documentary about him called Jurassic Punk that tells the whole story. And you can see old footage of me, him, and Reg in college. I had long hair down to here. I mean, I could go on forever. We had so much fun.

And then the other guy in the movie is Reg. He looks a bit like Elton John. This guy went on to be an animated. and the head of the story department for Disney, DreamWorks, Pixar. Reg is a legend. Reg has worked on Lion King, Beauty and the Beast,

Aladdin, the Shrek movies, Madagascar, all the Pixar movies, Toy Story. If you watch Toy Story 3, I believe it is, there's a character voiced by Canal Reeves.

He's the motorcycle daredevil. And if you look in that movie, Guess what they named his character, Regine, which is Regge's real name is we call him Reg, but he's French Canadian, and his real name is Regine. And so when you watch, when I went to see, it's either Toy Story 3 or 4, the Canal Reeves character, the evil-can-eval guy on the motorcycle, every time they say Regine, I was laughing my head off because I knew it was red. So the guys in this video you're about to see are freaking legendary.

The contributions they've made to the film industry, Steve alone changed the movie industry forever when he did that Torontoaurus Rex. And when I say he did it, watch his documentary, Jurassic Punk. It's fascinating. And you'll see what he did. He changed movie history. He changed the world to a degree. And Reg has worked on every big,

movie you've ever seen. And then, you know, I went on to do my thing. So we were these three kind of this weird sort of powerhouse of entertainment. And now to have the Harland Highway on top of all of that. My God. So, um, so without further ado, let me play the movie. And what happened is my buddy Steve is obsessed with flints and all the little things. We're actually working on a kid's book and an animated show about Flint's. But he's so obsessed, I think what he did is he phoned a girl he knows or someone he knows and said, hey, call into Harland's show and pretend you want to be a gourd farmer. And so that's what all this was.

That was sort of a, I mean, I didn't know they were going to do that, but I can tell by hearing it that that was a set up call because only Steve would know to have someone say that. So I'm playing along. And the reason I'm playing along is because. I'm excited for you guys to see Harvest Flints, to see how demented it is, to see how much fun we had doing it. I mean, I can't watch it without laughing. And literally, I would just feed these guys' lines. They'd say, okay, now say this. Now, say that. Now, take the shovel and hit something.

And then there's a moment when Steve's dog comes in, and I'm not going to tell you what happened, but Steve's dog comes into the movie. It's, I find it hilarious because it's my sense of humor. and so I guess in a way this will be the world premiere for Harvest Flint so without further ado ladies and gentlemen and I see you're getting jealous because you don't like flints on the set ladies and gentlemen in its world premiere world debut here on the Holland Highway podcast may I now present to you harvest flints from Denmark? Well, hi there, I'm Hickory.

I own this farm. Nice to meet you. Ow! My arm's broken! I'm going to harvest me some gourds, even though my arms are broken. Ha ha ha! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Come and get your gourds. Come and get your goads. Come and get your goads. Come and get your gourds. Come and get your gourds now. Come and get your gourds now.

Come and get your gourds. Oh! Oh, oh, oh no! Oh, no! Farmer Hickery! Farmer Hickory! Oh, guard killer! Oh!

No! Oh! Oh! Oh, guard killer! Oh! Oh, Farmer Hicks! Sorry about my dog there, Farmhand Flint. Yeah, well!

Just see that it never happens again! He almost killed me! Already! Two broken arms, you know? Well, I sure hope you have some kind of insurance or liability package because my arms, huh? Huh? Oh, well, you again.

If it isn't Mr. Shaddy Gourd Farmer, what do you want? You gonna show us how to harvest them gourds? Well, all right. You got your shovel? I got it right here. Well, then let's go to town. Here's your gourds. Now, raise up.

up your shovel, nice and high, higher, higher, higher! Now, smash those gourds! Arda! Yeeha! Yeeha! Yeeha! Stop yihon in my ear! Shut up!

Guard Smasher! Um, you know what? Could I talk to you for a second? Um, I don't know if this is like the right time or whatever, but... Um, I think I distinctly told you to, um... Start up the tractor! And... Bring it down!

Bring it down! Bring it down! Bring it down! Bring it down! Bring it out! Bring it up! Wow. Wow. There you go. I don't know if you liked it. You hated it. This doll and his stupid little face, I get inspired by the dumbest little things. And there's other Flint's movies in the catalog. And maybe one day if you're good, if you behave yourselves, if you liked Harvest Flints, maybe I'll show you

some of the other flintzes, but they're old, they're shot on an old VHS camera that they look like they're, they look like they're from the 80s or the 90s because they are. So let me know in the comments if you liked Flint's, harvest flints, if you want to see some more flints. Maybe you want flints on a T-shirt. I don't know, but Flint's power, baby.

So thank you for setting that call up, Steve. I know you were behind it. and check out his documentary Jurassic Punk, I think you'll find it fascinating. And, you know, when I look back on the history of my life, and, you know, when I went into college and the three of us just randomly became roommates for three years, and the next thing, you know,

we go off in our different directions in the entertainment industry, and the things we did, we accomplished. It's bizarre. I mean, I'm so proud of Steve. and Reg. I mean, these guys are like heroes to me. The mark they've left on not just the entertainment world, but the way the material they created seeped into your lives

and maybe affected you, affected your children, affected the way we live. It's quite phenomenal. And one day when I have more time, I can tell you more about that whole beginning and all the things that went on at our townhouse and the parties and the girls and the men. Madness, I mean, the Harvest Flint is just the tip of the iceberg, gang.

Daddy went to college. Daddy was a college player. Let's move on before I get too carried away here. Holy smokes. I hope you liked Harvest Flints, and let's see what else we got. Hey, Harlan, it's Jake out here in the old Pixburg. I just had a question for you. But if you're in the circumstance where one person who potentially runs into a real-life wild meatloaf monster,

what's the proper defense mechanisms? And is it like a stop, drop, and roll, or is it like a get bigger like bears? So I was just curious on that. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. No, you're welcome. If you meet a meatloaf monster, it does not stop, drop, and roll.

It is open, gravy, glaze. Yeah, the one thing that'll slow down a meatloaf monster, look, they're dry, they're lethargic, they're cumbersome, they're almost, maybe have a little more energy than a zombie. They're like, you know, there's somewhere between a zombie and Frankenstein. But when you add moisture to these dry, they're out in the sun, they're laying amongst rocks trying to hide, you know, that they sort of have the consistency in the texture of a boulder if they're out in nature.

And the only way you can tell them apart from a rock really is if there's flies buzz on them because the flies can smell the meat, the meatloaf. But I always say, you know, sometimes you carry mace around. Some people carry a taser gun. I always keep a jar of beef gravy or chicken gravy. Beef's the best because it's meatloaf. and a basting brush under my coat, sometimes in a holster. Sometimes I'll keep a glazing, a glazing basting brush and a holster on my leather belt.

And when that meatloaf monster emerges, oh, you know, it smells like onions and minced meat, and it's got that meatloaf breath, and its fingers, it's almost like spongy. And you can't beat it up. I mean, you punch a meatloaf monster, your fist almost goes right in, you pull it out, and your violent tendencies almost dissipate because as soon as you pull your, you're like, oh, ooh, and all of a sudden you're licking your, you know, you got meatloaf on your hand.

It's almost like a meatical, right? And you're like, and that's how the meatloaf monster catches it. He catches you off guard with his scent, with his flavor. And while you're indulging, he just, like, and he sucks you in, and you become part of the loaf. And so this isn't a laugh. Matter, gang. Meatloaf monsters are real. They're out there. They're dangerous. They want to consume you. And so, look, gravy, open glaze. Carry around some gravy, some delicious gravy.

And holy God, just get to glazing. If it comes at you, glaze it in the eyes first, and then do the body. And then it's just automatically, the sun's going to hit it. It's going to want to lay down and simmer. because that's what meatloaf does. When you glaze it up, it just wants to simmer. And it starts to kind of cook in its own juices. And it doesn't kill it, but it becomes a mobile. It's like when you stab a vampire, it turns to dust, and it dries up and it dies.

When you shoot a werewolf with a silver bullet, it slowly dies and then turns back into a man. When you glaze up a meatloaf monster, it becomes delicious. It's one of the few monsters in the monster world that just becomes delicious. You don't hear that a lot. You hear death, blood drained,

you know, drawn and quartered, all these horrible ends for these monsters. It's the only one in the monster chain that becomes delicious when you try to defend yourself, and it knows it. And it likes to sit down like a lion under a tree and just based in its own stink. And they're tricky. They're tricky, but it'll give you time. When you glaze it, it has to sit down. It has to soak and absorb its own meatloaf juices. And that gives you the window you need to escape. And this is serious stuff, especially now we're in the middle of summer. This is very serious stuff. So yeah, gravy open glaze. And a very important question. Thank you so much for that. And that's how.

how we defeat a meatloaf monster. God, they are something else, aren't they? Let's keep going. Wow. Hey, Harlan. So I'm watching the Jeff Die episode of the podcast. You're talking about golf in the beginning. And you mentioned that you had to break up a fight,

bizarrely enough on a golf course. And it kind of just got brushed, right? over but I was curious what that story was so if you have the time I'd love to hear the story of you breaking up a fight on a golf course thanks man I think we got the time it was the most bizarre thing I decided to try golfing for about two years I played hockey my whole life I thought ah you know I could probably swing a club pretty good I can swing a hockey stick I can take a slap shot and a wrist shot so I got out there on the golf course I loved it for about two years and then I got really bored of it and I stopped doing it completely and

part of it was I never got that good at it I'm just being honest y'all never dad daddy never got all that good at the golf um but I just hung it up but in that time I wanted to go all the time and one day I went with three other comedian friends of mine and at the time I would have to say they were probably my best friends, all three of them. Now, unfortunately, the way life works, sadly, like they're not really my friends anymore, which is kind of a bummer because we spent so much time, did so many things together. And for whatever reason, the friendships dropped off and went away. But at that time, when we were golfing, we had two golf carts. We were out on a beautiful sunny day here in California. And one of the guys that I

I was golfing with. He was sort of, he could be a bit of a bully. He liked to think of himself as a tough guy, and he was. He was a pretty solid guy. He was a big guy, and he loved to play hockey. He was a really good hockey player.

I played with him a few times. But he was one of those guys who would tell you, like, half the reason I'm out here, I want to play hockey, but then I just want to start a fight and pound some guy's fucking head in. Like, a real kind of angry, violent streak that I didn't necessarily,

like and I was a bit kind of taken aback when he exposed that part of himself to me. I didn't like it, but, you know, with a lot of hockey players and some men, that's just, that's built into them. So that's part of who he was. So he had that in him. And then my other guy was a comic who was sort of trying to get traction as a comedian, but was sort of not getting there, but trying. and, you know, we were trying to help him, and he was trying to help himself, and, you know, he was kind of in that middle ground. One of the funniest guys I've ever known in my whole career. Like, I love this guy, but for whatever reason, he parted ways with me,

and I still love him in my heart. I'm not going to mention any names. And then the third guy was one of a really good buddy of mine, who I loved dearly, and he was sort of a cocky guy. He was sort of one of those guys that, you know, was sarcastic. sarcastic and kind of cocky and he had a lot of confidence and he sort of did good at things that he wanted to do but he was sort of a bit of a weasel too and and he knows i say that about him i've told that to his face but it's part of what made me like him he was kind of this sort of weasily guy

and so we were out there playing and it was me and him on a cart and the tough guy and the other comedian on a cart and we were kind of playing against them it was like we were playing teams to see who could accumulate the most points. And the Weasley guy was actually a pretty darn good golf player. And so he was kind of walking up and being cocked, oh, I'm going to get this. And, you know, he was being himself, being a wise guy. And at some point, the tough guy, he just wasn't having it. And at one point, he just said, hey, fuck you, man.

And he snapped at him. And we were driving in the carts. He literally slammed on the bar. brakes. He was in front of us, and he stopped his car. He came storming back to our cart. I was driving. My Weasley buddy was in the passenger side, and he just came in at him. And I'm like, holy shit. So I jump out on my side. By the time I walk around the front of the golf cart, my Weasley buddy is like down on his back on the seat, and he's using his golf shoes with spikes on them. He's kicking up at this guy. And this guy's like wailing down the blows. And he's,

you know, my buddy rightfully had every, every reason to defend himself. It was a totally uncalled for attack. That's what it was. Like, there's no reason that should happen in a game of golf. You have a fist fight. And so now I'm probably out of all of them, the tallest of the guys. And these are my friends. And I'm like, to me, it's like, talk about bratty children. And so I just got in the middle of both of them. And I freaking threw the tough guy, like pushed them back. And I got in between myself and the Weasley guy. And I had to like fight them off.

And then I got it broken up. And I think I actually got a few kicks from the golf shoes by, just by accident, because I got right in the middle of it. And I just was like, I just snapped at them. I was like, what the hell is really? wrong with you guys? This is like golf. And then everyone kind of took a few breaths. Everyone kind of settled down. I kind of had to settle everyone down. I was like, I was like the voice of reason, me, Mr. Cuckoo. And believe it or not, we settled down. We only had about four holes to go.

We just played them through. No one really talked to each other. I was sort of steaming. I was like, what's wrong with you guys? We're out here to have fun. We're friends and you break into a fist fight. And it wasn't just like an attempt, like, it was like, it was a full-on attack. Like, he was on top of this guy, like, raining down the blows. It wasn't, there was no warning. There was no pushing. It was just, he jumped out of his card and right into pummeling mode. And I just instinctively, like, I got to protect my friend.

And it was weird because they were all my friends. But I was like, I got in the middle of it all. And we finished the thing. and I just said, let's see you later, and I drove two of them home. I drove the Weasley guy home and then the other guy, and then the tough guy had driven himself, and it was a, you know, it was a weird ride home. I was, I'm Mr. like, let's communicate, and I said to the go, what was that, blah, blah, blah, guys, you know, talked it out, and then it was pretty much quiet for the rest of the ride home.

And then it wasn't too long after I sort of, you know, one by one, these friendships sort of, dissipated and fell off the vine, which always hurts one's heart when you lose a good friend. So many laughs, so many good experiences. And it's just life. I don't have, I don't hold a grudge. I don't have sour grapes. It's just, it just sort of hurts the heart when people you, you got so close to sort of drift away. And was it something I did maybe? Was it something they did? I never want to put the blame. But for whatever reason, and things, you know, moved apart. And so those guys will always live in my heart.

They'll always be people I love and cherish the good times. And even the fight in a way was sort of dramatic and, you know, symbolic of the personalities and the egos and the tumultuous nature of competitive sports and competitive careers. and who knows what else was going on in their head. So it's funny you kind of picked up on that, and that's kind of the story, my guy.

You got something to say about it? You want the meat? You want a piece of the meat, player? No, I didn't think so. Let's scoot along here. Holy smokes. Great calls, by the way. Don't forget, 3-2-3.

Hey, Ireland. I like your story about you being in the north. towards with Canada, do you have any spooky stories to tell us? I was in the north woods of Minnesota and the boundary waters and it's quite the experience to want to hear more for you. Thanks. Bye. Spooky stories when I used to work up north as a forest ranger. You know, there was one occasion where I tried to create a spooky story. This is going to be bizarre, but I've had such a weird life.

But there was a point in time where as a ranger, we got assigned to a place in Lake Superior, the biggest of the Great Lakes. There's a small island called the Slate Islands. And on those islands, at some point, a herd of caribou got across the pack ice, so they swam out there. Caribou are actually excellent swimmers. and they got out to this remote island somehow. The ice melted, they never made it back off,

and so they flourished out there on this island. I think the island's only like six square miles or something. It's not too big, but it's big enough to sustain a small population of caribou, and in order to help them preserve themselves, talk about evolution, these caribou actually, for lack of a better term, sort of de-evolved.

So they started off as full-size caribou. And because of the lack of resources and food, they actually had to really kind of economize their environment. And because of the harsh weather conditions out on Lake Superior, believe me, they are harsh. They had to kind of ration their food and find different food sources. So here they are on this isolated island, no predators. There was no natural predators on this island.

So they were able to thrive in limited numbers. Nature sort of took care of, it sort of culled the size of the herd. And these caribou, they actually started to shrink. Their bones became smaller. Their antlers, normally caribou have huge racks of antlers. And these caribou, because they were sort of conserving all their energy to survive, they put less energy into the growing of their bones and their antlers and literally began to shrink in size to a degree.

And so we were out on this island studying these caribou, and we went out on a boat, me and I think about six other of our working in the Fish and Wildlife, the Ranger Group, and they put us in this little cabin in the woods. It was already there, it had been there for a while. Researchers had used it, blah, blah, blah. and it was sort of scary and it was in the middle of nowhere

and while the guys were out collecting firewood and we were all kind of prepping the camp I noticed that the windows had wooden flaps on them that came down for the winter and there were holes in the walls. It was a very kind of a rustic, you know, simple shed in the woods with bunk beds and a little kitchen with an iron stove

and, you know, no locks on the door. So what I did was, well, the guys were out doing other things, collecting water and et cetera, I rigged the whole, I rigged the whole cabin with all these lines because by my bunk bed there was a hole in the wall. And so what I did is I rigged all these wooden flaps and shutters and branches outside. And so like a marionette playing his puppet,

I had like five or six strings coming in through a hole in my wall right by my bed. And so that night when we all went to sleep, all in the bunk beds in the same room. And, of course, I started, you know, as everyone's just drifting asleep, I started talking, bullshitting them saying, you know, the legend of Mad Axe Bobby or something. Like, I made up some legendary guy who lived in the woods

who had a, you know, had an axe, and he snapped and he was a murderer. And, you know, I created this whole character that was this horrible story. And then, you know, I kind of say, it up to get their blood gone, to get their heart racing to scare them. And then slowly as the story finished and everyone, there was kind of that quiet five or ten minutes as people are drifting off. Johnny, how's so horrors here? I start pulling the strings and all of a sudden

a giant wood big window shutter just goes wham and it shook the whole house. And then I had I had like branches outside and I put like a teapot on a branch and I was like pulling it. It was like knocking on the wall outside our bedroom. And I think I had a thing rigged to one of the doors where it was jiggling and things were tapping on the windows. It was ridiculous. So as far as scary things in the woods, it might have been scary. I think there was a scary thing in the woods, but I think it was me. And I think I terrorized the shit out of us.

those guys that first night. And I think about three quarters of the way through, I couldn't contain it anymore. I started laughing my head off because these guys were like, what the hell was that? You know, it's pitch black. There's no power. This is a cabin on an island in Lake Superior. It's an old lumberjack's cabin. And there's no power. There's no electricity. So it's pitch black. You can't see your hand in front of your face. And all of a sudden they hear me laughing, cackling in the dark, like an evil witch. And I just had to tell them. I said, guys, it's me.

It's just me. So it's like, this is the kind of trouble I cause. So there you go. I hope that fills you in. There's more of these stories. I always just get to tell you kind of the outer shell of these stories, but there's so much more to them. But I just don't have time.

We have to get to all your calls. My goodness. Let's do, I think we have three more. Here we go. Hello. I just wanted to say, I want to see you annoy the guests more with your silliness to find it completely amusing, and it's great. I also want to say that with growing up in this world, it'd make me hard and callous, and seeing you reminded me how silly I was when I was a little bit younger, making friends. Thank you.

things to say about this. One, I don't annoy my guests by design. What I just like to do is be silly, have fun, but I can tell sometimes they get annoyed, but that's on them. I'm never purposely going, oh, I'm going to annoy this person. I just want to have fun with them. Like I said, I read the room. I read the room with the silliness as I talked about earlier. And I just press buttons. And if I annoy any of them, I'm not really. sorry because it's all coming from a great, like, loving, humorous place. None of it's aimed at, but I have to agree with you. Sometimes you can see that some of them aren't really into it and they look annoyed

and that sort of makes it funny anyhow. Okay, so that's the first part. Second part is, my goodness, I could hear it in your voice that, and it made me sad if I'm being honest. I could hear in your voice my guy that there's a silly person, a silly child trapped in there that wants to come out. I could hear a hardness in your voice and there was a certain self-recognition that you knew that you were having trouble letting the silliness get out of you. And it made me sad. it breaks my heart a little to know that that you're aware of it. You know that you can't find that button anymore and you even said it.

You said you become hardened. And hardness is also maybe a cover word for bitterness. And I'm going to say this to you, life's too short for that. Life's too short. And bitterness and hardness is, believe it or not, it's a decision. we all have stuff come at us conflict and strife and death and sadness and depression but we also have the choice to put up shields and be fighters and rebuff and deflect this type of stuff and it's incumbent on all of us to never let the little child die never let the silliness go

away because you extinguish part of the light that lives within you and I encourage you, my friend, I encourage you to get out and be silly, let that light shine back into your heart, into your soul. You still have it, believe it or not, you might think the world shut you down, that you can't find room for silliness, that, you know, you watch the news and someone deceived you and someone lied to you. Well, so what? Let it go. You can't change it. You can't stop it. Let it go. Take it. Nurture you. Who cares what someone says to you or did you or however they hardened you or whatever hardened you. Let it go, man. It's yesterday. It's important. It's your job to wake up every day and open up the chest and let the light come in

and let the light come out. And so I'm going to invite you to start to get that back and here's how you do it. Start being silly again and don't be afraid of it. Sometimes people are afraid to be The world's too stoic of a place. There's no room for silliness. I'm in my 40s now. I'm in my 50. I'm an old man. The sooner you start being silly,

the sooner you're going to feel younger again. And so I'm going to invite you to do things that are silly. When you're out in public, do something silly. If you're at Walmart, pick up a toy in the toy aisle and start talking to it. Make a stupid noise. Just go, you know, or say something. silly or when you're when you pull up to a stoplight in your car instead of just stopping you know over exit just go like like this and like wriggle your head like like but you know have fun with

the people beside you or when you're getting a coffee you know when i get a coffee they ask me my name on my coffee and i always say uh bongo drum charlie or a salami pete or mongo or grasshopper face and then they have to repeat it because they they can't say that's not your name and it's just a little piece of silly but i can feel the joy inside and you deserve that you deserve that you don't deserve to be hardened and you don't deserve to not have that joy and that light inside of you my friend so i'm inviting you to be silly we're all all of us watching or saying you're allowed to be silly. Listen to me, I sound like a therapist.

But I'm serious, I care. It hurts me that you've got that hardness in your voice, and you know it's not good for you. That's what puts you in the grave early. That and butter and whatever that kid was eating, butter and yeast or the kid from earlier. So open up, let the silly back in, just do little things to make yourself feel silly,

even if it's talking to yourself. But let it back. in my friend you'll be glad you did and and once you do it it's infectious and turn your back on all the woes of the world because when we're dead and gone all those woes you're dreading and fretting about won't exist or there's nothing you can do about them so enjoy every day bitterness and anger and that just weighs you down and crushes you down and maybe that's part of why you listen to the Holland Highway because it lets you have some

a dose of silly so let it back in open the door and let it back in if even it's just a little at a time work on it work on it like you'd work on anything else that you you as a person need work on okay Godspeed you silly little

monkey-faced chucky cheese cocoa bean Hi Harland this is Dan a loyal listener from Wisconsin. You just thanked all your listeners for some describer a milestone you had, and I'm one of your listeners. So if my C-plus and ethics is correct,

I mean, do you thank me personally? So I'm going to return it to you and say thanks for being so damn funny. When Norm died a few years back, it left a huge hole in my heart for Canadian comedy geniuses. And I knew you from the movies, but I didn't know your podcast or comedy and really been enjoying all your stuff. I'm going to come see you out on the road. Be the best. Freak.

Freak. You see what he did at the end there? My previous call, he laid down this very sincere, this very sincere call and message. And then right at the end, he goes, I'm going to tack some silly on there and just out of nowhere. He went, freak, he called me a freak, spontaneous. But did you hear the laughter in his voice? Did you hear him giggling as he said it? Prime example.

And I invite our last caller before this one to pay attention to that and let it back in. Now, back to this caller. First of all, thank you. I am going to thank you. I'm thanking all of our subscribers and even if you don't subscribe, just for tuning in. Thank you. and I think you've probably seen by now our great journey of the plaque, the 100,000 listener subscriber plaque.

We're being sending it around like a Stanley Cup. We'll let you know, and that makes it back home. It's going to be exciting. So thank you for the high praise. There's so many funny Canadians. I mean, I'm so proud of them all. When you think of the funny Canadians that are out there or have been out there, right? Leslie Nielsen from the Naked Gun Movies, Canadian, Michael J. Fox, Canadian, Matthew Perry, Canadian, Martin Short, Canadian, Eugene Levy, Canadian, John Candy, Canadian, Catherine O'Hara, Canadian, Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, Norm MacDonald, Howie Mandel. I mean, the list goes on and on. I'm probably missing a whole bunch of them, but holy smokes. William Shatner.

There's so many cool, funny Canadians, and you mentioned Norm McDonald. And for some reason, Norm really resonated with everybody. Not everybody, but a lot of people, especially comedy fans. He touched a nerve somehow. I get it. Look, I was with Norm a ton. We were very best friends. But as I said earlier, even me and Norm had a falling out at one point.

And we went our separate ways. I'm not going to get into it. But no sour grapes, no bitterness. is we'll love Norm till the end of time. He lives here in my heart. And, but somehow Norm really got into people. And it's so, it's funny to me. I love it.

In one way, I love it because what a legacy to have that kind of impact on people. But part two, I knew Norm just as Norm. Like, as a guy, like I knew Norm without all the showbiz facade and all the, all the hoopla and all the aura. I just knew Norm as my buddy, as my guy, we hung out, we played hockey, we played tennis, we did bowling, we did comedy, we did all kinds of stuff together. We just had a riot and I have, you know, tons of stories I could tell about Norm. But interestingly enough, good timing, a buddy of mine, Greg Fitzsimmons, another comedian who's been on the show here, hilarious. He somehow, through the comedy community, has a buddy who had some old,

photographs of me and Norm from back in the 80s when me and Norm were hanging out and doing all kinds of things. And I'm going to share them with you. I'm going to put them up. There's a picture of me and Norm. We were in Vegas. We went to Vegas. It was our first time in Vegas to get together ever. And we were there and me and Norm hung out. And it was really neat. We had a very, we had a very interesting long walk and talk one morning. We got up before everyone else. It was early in the morning and the strip was really quiet and dead. And me and Norm went for a really long walk. And we found a mall that was empty and we walked around. And I remember it was really sort of us talking about our careers and we were sort of both at the beginning. We've done really well

in Canada and we were starting to rise up in Canada, but we're just about to both make the foray into the states. And I'll never forget our conversation about all our dreams and aspirations and all that lie ahead. And it was really a beautiful, long conversation. And sadly, you know, thinking back on that now, to know that Norm's gone is very hurtful and painful for me. and it's weird that I was so close to him and we were in these moments and now he doesn't exist anymore on this plane physically. And so these next pictures I'm going to share

are really beautiful because there are pictures of us when we played hockey together and it shows me in Norman. I was always a guy, I didn't like the limelight that much. So if you look at any picture of me, like group picture, I'm always usually hiding my face or looking away. I don't know. I just, I've never been into that. And there's one picture in particular that's just so warms my heart, but makes me sad where Norm's got his head on my shoulder.

And he's just there and I think you can see and feel the love between us. And there was a side of Norm that was very little boyish. There was an innocence. There was a side of Norm that was innocent. There was a side of Norm that was innocent. Not to say that he also didn't have a darker side. We all have that, but Norm had a boyish, like sort of immature charm, and the picture where he just got his head on my shoulder just, it's almost like I can still feel it right now. And it's very, when Greg sent me that picture, it just emotionally, it really touched me. And I'm so glad I have it, because I'd forgotten about, I remember, of course, playing hockey with Norm. I almost beat him up one day. He smashed me with his hockey stick right in the shins. I almost knocked his

fucking lights out, man. He was competitive. But that's another story. But this picture is so beautiful and just, I don't know, man. It's just like a big giant hug. And I think that's a great place to end the show with that beautiful memory. So folks, thank you for your calls. 323-6-9-60. I mean, look at the box you opened up with your calls. All these wonderful memories and stories. And, of course, Harvest Flints. So I want to thank my co-host today. What's your name?

Chunky Cheese Dog or whatever. I can never remember his name. Something cheese, cheese stick Wally or something. But folks, don't forget to subscribe to the show. We want to get that 100,000 up to 200,000 subscribers. Thank you for tuning in. Tell your friends. And I think that's it for today. Thank you for being here. And until next time, everybody, chicken. Chalmayne, baby. Almost forgot the theme music. I got so carried away. I was just thinking about Norm.

A little norm on my shoulder and him. Well, don't look at me like that. He was my friend. No, we weren't lovers He was my hockey friend How dare you You know what Look away, you bastard Look away See

Until next time Chicken Chowman, baby Hey everybody How would you like your very own Personal video message from me Yours Truly It's your birthday It's your anniversary

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