The Harland Highway - JOHN GOBLIKON is here SPONSOR free! He brings gifts and plays with fibroids. Bless the green freak!

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

This episode is sponsored by Hims, BetterHelp, and Chubbies. -Chubbies is here to keep you comfy and looking good year-round. Get 20% off with code harlandhighway at chubbiesshorts.com/harlandhighway ! #chubbiespod - To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/HARLAND. - Your emotional well-being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy.Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/HARLANDThanks for watching the Harland Highway. More Harland Williams: Harland Highway Podcast Video: https://www.youtube.com/c/HarlandHighwayPodcast Harland Highway Podcast Audio: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-harland-highway/id321980603 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harlandwilliams Harbling Shirts: https://www.harbling.com Official Website: https://www.harlandwilliams.com Twitter :https://twitter.com/harlandhighway?lang=enMore John Goblikon: Punchup: https://punchup.live/johngoblikon Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealjohngoblikon/?hl=enX: https://x.com/JohnGoblikonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlCG-eRqxjgtbbp9AzeNeg #podcast #harlandwilliams Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After 19 years, they're back. Frankie Munes, Brian Cranston, and the rest of the family reunite in Malcolm in the middle, life's still unfair. After 10 years avoiding them, Hal and lowest demand Malcolm be at their anniversary party, pulling him straight back into their chaos. Malcolm in the middle, life's still unfair. A special four-part event, streaming April 10th on Hulu on Disney Plus. Hey, everybody, Harland here. Before we get started, a couple of quick announcements.

if you want to see yours truly, you want to see Daddy doing some sweet stand-up comedy. Tulsa, Oklahoma, Bricktown Comedy Club, April 3rd to 4th, and Louisville, Kentucky at the Louisville Comedy Club, April 10 and 11. Get your tickets at Harlanwiliams.com. Don't miss it.

We go have a good old time. I might even drive a truck through your living room. Don't know what that meant, but we'll see you there. Stutter has a bunch of S&Ts in it. Right. It's like if you stutter saying the word S, say, sorry. Say the word,

St, S, S, S, Sitt, Sitt, Siss, Sitt, Siss. This will help. Yeah, get it out, fucknard. Say the word stutter. See? Thank you. Yeah. Satan gets involved.

Ow. My old roommate. You had roommates? Yeah, Satan. We had Bielsabob. Beelzeb. Yeah. Wait, the Lord of Darkness?

Yeah. Wait, let me pull this down, but you were roomies? Yeah, we're back in Chicago. What part of Chicago, you remember? Yeah, South Side. South Side. Yeah. Do you remember the street?

I believe it was 30 5th and it was, the address was 666. Okay. Dirty 5th and fire. I think, or no, sorry, quarter fire brimstone. That's what it was. was quarter of fired brimstone. You're not talking about the Carlton Estate apartment. What floor?

Six. Dude, I was in eight, two down. Were you the one always playing the mariachi music? Yeah, were you the one playing divo and Black Sabbath?

Yes, cranking it. Dude, oh my God. Wow, what a small world. So Lucifer. Oh, sorry. I'm going to ask you about it.

Yeah, the Lord of the darkness. No, that's okay. Yeah, it's your pot. What's mine is yours? You've known that. And I appreciate that. Yeah, what's mine is yours.

Yeah, no, so we go way back. Wow. I actually was the one who summoned him up here. Like he was just... Whoa. Yeah. Dark vibes all of a sudden. Well, it's just, I knew that dude who had a party.

And I was kind of... Saving knows out a party. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, dude. We went from like a quiet kind of fun apartment complex in the suburbs of the windy city. to you bringing evil onto earth for eternity.

I know, you're welcome, dude. Wait, what? I didn't say it was a good thing. Oh, but you're saying it kind of sounded like boring. You know, you're in the suburbs, just a peaceful. Who wants peace and quiet, dude? I know, but can we have shoplifting or a drive-by? Do we need, like, eternal health?

We still have that there. Okay. Okay, what's he up to now that red freak? Oh, dude, he is having a year. He is everywhere. He's crushing it. What? I literally, every year I go, it's your year, dude.

And then every year it's his year. It's crazy. Yeah. Do you feel that? It's almost like his day every day. I see, now that's, that's why I should text him. I should go, dude, it's not your year. It's your day every day.

By the way, you know who says that? Your old sweetmate, uh, heart lady live like a couple floors above us, dude. Dude, text them right now. Okay. Do you have your phone? All right. I said it. Oh, you mind text?

Yeah, do you have a goblin? Yeah, that's true. How do you spell goblin? How do I spell it? Yeah, because I don't want to get it wrong. Oh, sure. You just spell it as, uh-uh. Oh, no, no, no.

It's not, it doesn't have the accent at the end anymore. It doesn't have the accent. No, no, no, don't go up. That's French goblins. Go down. Go down. Do it again. I'm not going to go down.

Nice try, demon. Sorry. Wait, are you a demon or you a good guy? When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to Westjetting since 96.

Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. I'm a goblin. Yeah, we're the good ones. Okay. You're the good one. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. So Lucifer Chicago. Correct. Were you involved in any of the early stuff in Chicago, like the mob stuff and the machine guns? I got to be honest, that wasn't me.

Yeah. But there was like a couple of months that do light up with a lot of that stuff where Beelzebub was like gone. And he'd come home at all hours with all kinds of bags with a dollar symbol on. them. And I think, where'd you get those, man? Don't worry about it. I'm paying rent. And I go, all right, I mean, that's fine. Like, I'm the kind of roommate. Like, what you do is your thing.

You know what I mean? Like, I'm doing my thing, you know? Yeah. Was he a slob? Or did he keep a nice apartment? That was his, that was the only thing that really bug me. He would just, he would leave stuff out and he'd lead stuff on. It's like, do you have no concern for the environment? And he would go, hell, no, I don't, you know?

But I, it just was like, come on, dude. Like, turn off the lights. He'd leave the cap of the table. toothpaste off. Oh, that would just really chat my hump, you know. Chap your what? My hump. Yeah.

Yeah. My hump, my hump. My lady. My lady hump? Yeah, my lady home. Isn't that a Fergie song? Dude. Wait a bit.

Did she appropriate? I don't know what she did, but she made it a number one hit. And you just did it as a throwaway. So I'm going to, I'm going to kind of go with her version of my hump. and maybe think that, you know, you might have... Oh, 22, please. Oh, is that my song? You know?

I really like that. Yeah. Because I was just... Can I just roll it back of it? Oh, sure. I was doing some... Yeah. ...noises.

I thought that would be the beginning in the end. Yeah. But when you did the elevator move and then the ding... Yeah. Like, dude, I got to say, I didn't expect this early to call you a master. Harland, thank you so much, man, because I just want to say, I just had you on my podcast. Oh, my God. Do you remember that?

When was it? Oh, God. It's been, I don't know, seven, eight days almost, yeah. Oh, was it last Tuesday? It was last Tuesday, yes, last Tuesday. Hold on. Hold on. That's at the pet shop.

And then I did a drive-by down in. South Central. Yeah. I ran up to Glendale, did a second drive-by. I did a home invasion in Pasadena. Yep. I think you would just come from that because you were so sweaty. Sweaty.

Take the mask off, dude. Like, it's fine. Like, you're in a good safe space. Okay, now I remember. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. And you showed up to the pod studio.

And I remember, like, I thought we were going to record for like two, three hours. And the cops came and you just bolted right through our little AC. shoot. Yeah. And you slid right down and I guess you got got okay, which I'm happy to hear. Yeah, I went down to Venice for a gang meeting. Yeah. I'm in the Bloods and the Crips, which is weird. They never let that happen. But I love that. I guess they like, they say I'm affable, I'm likable and funny. And so the Bloods and the Crips, they both, and here's Bloods and Crips. Yeah. I do all the signs. Yeah. And deaf people think I'm mentally chat. But these are gang signs.

I'm not, I'm not. I understand. Yeah. Yeah. So you, so you don't have to wear red or blue you wear what? I wear plaid. Plat.

I wear plaid. And then I just kind of cross. Yeah. Gangs love me. And Hell's Angels starting to warm up to me. Really? You probably know them. I love Hells.

Yeah. My old, my old roommate, who you know, he introduced. Yeah. The guy who left shit around. Did you ever walk out in the morning and like his undies are hanging on an

IKEA lamp, like a nerd defundice. Florgden, like Satan's G-string on a nerd de florgden has got to be not easy to live with. That you tell me. That's what you think, but it was everyone else's underwear. Oh. Like almost everyone's. The amount of underwear, I walk out and feel like, dude, this guy is like a metal god.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Look at all these things. Must have been like living in a Victoria's Secret warehouse or a showroom. That's what it reminds me of. Yeah. Okay. Did you ever go in his bedroom then and they're on the bedpost of his.

his IKEA learned hanged in was there a pair of as like a thong or a leopard

skin thong on his learned de tanked them the IKEA the wooden

learned detanked yeah thank you for pronouncing it correctly yeah

you'd be so surprising by chicaguan I know well I'm half Swiss

and so I can speak Sweden that's I I bet you

would make a great watch I do like to look at things. And you were very good at keeping time. I mean, when you, you, you should have seen you on the pot. After every question I asked you, you'd just, you'd be like, a little less time. Oh, that's, no, I have a melanoma right there. Oh, that's your point. I was checking my time because

my doctor said I only have four months left. Yeah. And I was like, oh God, I wish she'd move this podcast along. That's something else we have in common. Oh, you're going to die? Yeah, definitely. Oh, is that a melanoma? I think so. Oh. Yeah. I would. two, three, four, five. You know, if you want to do this later, I have a Sharpie, if you want to join them, I'm pretty good. I can already tell that, say,

if you join those spots altogether, that's a Wendy's Baconator on your hand. Yeah, correct. It's like a join the dots. Yeah, please. I mean, maybe later we can do it when we're playing horseshoes in the outside. I don't know.

I mean, I'd love to play horseshoes with you, Harlan. Anyways, before we get too carried away in this love fest that's happening here, uh, folks. Old friends, man. Old friends. Theme music is on. GobbleCon is here, or Goblin, or how do I even,

a guy who's lived your many thousands of years, what do I call you? You could just call me John, because we're friends now. Gob? John. John. John. Oh, okay. Yeah.

My gob given name. Yeah. John, I've peed in you at a trailer park. Yes. Yes. John, yeah. Yes. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Well, folks, welcome to the Hallen Highway Park. podcast. I do guarantee. Who, boy, we got John here today. And what a treat to have them. I think you might be, let me just check, you might

be our first goblin guest. Hold on. Not yet. John Lovitz looked like you a little bit. I do get mistaken for him all. Yeah. We have the same laugh. Yeah. We have very simple. Yeah. We have profile, hairline. Yeah.

Well, speaking to hairline, John, before we get gone, can I do something for you since we're bods? Are, am I about to get my first Harlan makeover? No. Oh, okay. All right. I want to sing something to you. And I don't know if a lot of people sing to you, but I'd like to, I'm not a great singer. I'm going to try my best.

And then I'd like to see if you can figure out why I picked this particular song. I'm just going to sing part of it. Absolutely, Harlan. Do you mind if I do it through a few throat exercises just to warm up? Oh, well, please. Uh-huh. Is it? Uh-huh.

Okay. Harland. Yeah. That meant so much to me. Oh, that wasn't the song. Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry. You thought.

You were speaking fluid goblin just now. I was. What did I say? You were just going on and on about how the experience you had on my podcast was one of your favorite experience. Thank you so much, Harold. I didn't. It's like, that meant so much to me that you took the time to learn my culture,

and I've never felt more seen and heard on a podcast, man. Well, I did take the time, and I also want to acknowledge someone else who helped me. Thank you, DeVry, for teaching me gobble, gobb. Wait a minute. What? That's where I studied acting. Get the hell out of my sister's face. I will not.

That's why. I went to school at Fry. Get the hell out of my sister's demented legs. No, I will not, Arlen. I would like it if you did. No, I'm getting right in there and I'm going to live there. I'm moving in. Get the hell out of my sister's hammerhead.

I'm moving in there, pal. I'm planting my flag and I'm living under those things, man. It's dark, it's moist, it's perfect for a goblin. Okay. Yeah. You do what you want to do. I will do what I want to do, and I want to live in between those thighs. I got to say,

When I brought up my sister, your ears like started flapping like a bad account chocula's diarrhea party. Yes. Wow. Yes, dude. I love this. Yeah, so I would love to be in there. And I just felt like when you were speaking to me in my native tongue, I didn't even know. Oh, thank you.

And honestly, no one gets like all the accent stuff right. Did I get the dialect and everything? You nailed it. every intonation. I mean, honestly, what? I recently had coffee with the goblin. He plays like the green goblin,

all the spireyramed movies. He was trying, he was like, oh, well, let's speak in our name talking. It was like, it was like,

he was raised here. You know what I mean? He did not speak it well. He was all like, yeah, I was like, what are you, dude? You're saying all the wrong things.

You know what I mean? He even got one of those tattoos. He was like a goblin tattoo. He was like, I got native goblin. I'm like, dude, do you know what that says? What, what did it say? It just says, you can shine anything off my big forehead.

And I was like, buddy, that's not what you think it says. Wow. Well, then can I add one more quick thing? Yeah, please. And that's for me to you. Okay, so I didn't know I was going to be threatened. Now, now I feel threatened. And that's, you know what I mean?

It's all right. It's okay. I said it backwards. Yeah, if you, if I can, are you, are you dyslexic? I am. Sorry, are you dyslexic? Dislexic. By the way, whoever wrote the word created the word dyslexic is the reason we are dyslexic.

Thank you. Because if you try to spell dyslexic, D-I-X-L-Y-X-I-Z-I-S, just trying to spell dyslexic makes you dyslexic. That's what I mean. I feel like every word that is describing something. Yeah. like any kind of ailment or problem. Yeah. The word itself sounds like the ailment or the problem.

Oh, give me an example. That's what. Stutter has a bunch of S&T's in it. Right. It's like if you stutter saying the word, say, sorry, say the word, this will help. Get it out, fucknard.

Say the word stutter. See? Thank you. Yeah. Say the word stutter. Yeah. It's hard for someone with a stutter. Right.

But if you just yell at them really kind of angrily, get it out, fucknard. And almost instantly. It's like when you said that everything clicked. Right. Is that weird? Like try now with a clean slate, try saying stutter again

and watch how effective what I do. And you can have this if you want. Sure. All right. So I was going to come out and say the word. All right. All right. So I just got to wrap into it.

So the word, Cuff it up, Falknard. Stutter. Stutter. Yeah. Stutter, New York. Stutter, New York. By the way, guess where I learned that little verbal trick.

Where? DeVry. Now, shout out to DeVry. I mean, just two loves. Debray. Just shout it out to Debray. Debray. They're probably listening because they're online mostly, so.

Can I yodel out to DeVry? Oh, yeah, yodel it out. Yoodle, doodle doodle do lo. He-hee. Yodel-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-vri. Doodle do-d-vri. Do-do-do-do-do-do-de. Doodoo-dee.

Do you. Oh, ha. Oh, ha. Oh, ha. Oh, ha. Wow. My tits feel on fire. They look.

Wow, luptuous. So. Yodling makes my tit sizzle. I've heard that before about yoddy. I didn't know. I've never yodeled to my tits are on fire. Do you mind if I? To deprae?

I love telephea. That's one of my favorite fish. It's a very lead, nice. I love a good telepia. Okay. Thank you, DeVry. Hey, gang, today's episode is sponsored by Better Help. And today we're sort of recognizing women.

Yeah, women this month and all the things they do. all their contributions. I've got four wonderful sisters. And women, let's say, maybe, face different pressures than men do, just like men face different pressures than women do. And sometimes women, like all of us, might need a little extra help upstairs, dealing with things, coping with things,

you know, separating emotions and feelings and all that stuff. So better help is equipped to do this. They have quality, Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. of A. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. Your emotional well-being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp, doctor, slash Harlan. That's better help.com slash Harlan. So ladies, if you need that little extra

shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to, get out there and check out Better Help. Well, we got through that, my guy, and I, you know, yodeling, I don't know if it's singing or not, but I would like to sing a special song for you. I did the throat warm ups. I really appreciate this because I'm, I'm Brady. I'm not a great singer, but I'm going to give it my honest to God best. I hope my fans, all 12 of them, will be patient with me. That's a lot of fans. Yeah, here we go.

Diamond life, love a boy, we move in space with minimum waste and maximum joy. City lights, business nights, when you require streetcar desire for higher heights. No need to ask. He's a smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator. Coast to coast L.A. to Chicago Western Mail Across the coast

and north to Kilago L'Afe sale And now can you guess why I did that? And that wasn't easy for me. I feel embarrassed. I feel humiliated.

Harland. But it was for you. Can you guess why? I know now because of Chicago my roommate's situation. And when I walked in here, I moonwalked in here. I did my little spin.

I did my backhand spring tummy tuck and I landed perfectly in this. And you turned to me. What'd you say? You said, wow. You said, you're a smooth operator. But that was a setup to something bigger. And you alluded to it just a minute ago.

Tell me, Harley. Who is? in the pop world from the mid-80s on, a singing superstar, female pop legend has the biggest giantest, biggest forehead in all of music. Seed. Well, if you can say it right.

Saadi. How do you say it? Charday. Chardonn. That's what it is. Dude, your forehead. Full Charday. Oh, my God.

I just, yes, dude. And I'm going to be honest here. Please be honest. Because we have to make a little bit of money on our podcast to keep the lights on. Absolutely. I'm all for whatever brings in the green. But in this situation, I am not, because we're buds. Yeah, we go back almost six days.

I'm going to get bombarded from K. BFC, Dominoes, Blockbuster, IBM, Pepsi, Coke, Wendy's, McDonald's, the list goes on and on. On my podcast, they're going to want me to advertise on your giant huge forehead. They're going to want me to put in logos, and I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to bend over to corporate America. I'm not going to bend over an S-Spawn S-5-203 inkjet printer. and get whammed up the ram crab just to take advantage of a friend.

I'm not going to take advantage of that beautiful advertising space on your giant, fucked up, charadee forehead. Harlot. Yep. Carlet. Oh, sorry. But, dude, I will not see KFC on your forehead.

Good, I don't want it. I don't want it to change from KFC to McDonald's. No. I don't want to see a change from McDonald's to Taco Bell. I won't do it. Nope. I don't want to see a change from Taco Bell to fit your logo here. Please contact Harland and name your price,

and it will appear right here on John Gama Con's forehead. We're friends. I'm not going to do it. Listen to me. Listen to me, corporate America. I don't take advantage of a friend with a disease. A disease called Giant fucked up Chardot forehead face.

I'm not going to put a logo on there. You'll be damned if you see a Burger King logo pop up there right now. Yeah, and you'll be damned with that Burger King freaking logo then turns into a Sprite logo, then turns into a Coke logo, and then we

bring back Tang, and Tang is now on my forehead. Corporate America, I'm not even listening. Let me take these off. I don't care who writes. I don't care how many. Chick-ching Chiching, chiching, chiching,

dollars you send. I will not exploit my friend with the giant fucked up, relish dog, Charday, fuck forehead. Sorry,

I mean that last part. That last part was a little much. I'm sorry. I thought everything leading up to there I was on board with. I got, speaking of hot dogs and relish, yes.

Have you ever heard of Wiener-Snitchell the restaurant chain? It's a chain. It's a franchise. Okay, tell me about them. I'm ready to advertise for him. Really? I mean, no, I will not.

I will not. I will not put a wean or snitch a logo on that giant sharday fuckhole. Anyway, so, speaking of head, it's spring. You mentioned melanoma. Yeah. I'm always looking out for my buds. I want. I got you a springtime hat.

Oh, my God. I don't know if you wear them. I don't know if you want them, but I pitch you out in the garden playing with cucumbers and parsnips. Oh, my God. Oh, my Christ. Oh, wow.

Oh, my, out of Africa, Meryl Streep, Christ. Wow. I don't like it. Oh. I love it. What? Oh, my God. I love it.

Did I get it right? You go. Got it really right. I mean, it's my style, my color, my flare. And you know, here's what's crazy, Harlan. Oh, God. I know from you coming on my podcast, which, by the way, how did it feel to finally reach orgasm?

Uh, yeah. I had to fake it. I faked it on, I'm so sorry. That's right. A lot of people do. A lot of people do statistically. A lot of people do. Statistically, a lot of people do.

It's fine. Damn it. But I knew you were in the giving spirit when you came on my podcast. You gave me all these gifts. Yeah. I didn't want to be a bad guest. Okay. Here we go.

What a great hat. It looks like you stuck your head up, Beetlejuice's ass now that I see it. Yeah. I just had to look into your sister and say his name three times. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, what do you got? I brought you some gifts.

So excited. Yay. Yes, absolutely. So what do we got to? First thing's first. I know we're on the highway. Harlan Highway. Yeah, so I thought, what do most people travel down a highway in?

Skateboard. Wow. Look at this thing. See this? Wow. Here we go. Wow. Eat it, Tony Hawk.

Wow. Yeah. That's for me? That's for you. Wait a minute. Are you telling me this less than half a cent plastic thing from Taiwan is for me? Yes. Dude, what,

what's my guardian angel doing today? Wow. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. You know, you ever, you've ever eaten a bag of chips?

Yeah. And then you're like, oh God, like how am I going to keep these fresh? You said that to you? And what does everyone give you? They give you a clip. A clit.

A clit? A clit? Yeah. Well, it's hard to find. It's like near impossible to find. So I got a bag of chips open. Yeah. I can't finish them.

No. And you're going to give me a clet. Yeah. Okay. That'll keep them moist. They got to keep them frat. What are you talking about? No, I'm just saying that's what most people use.

Okay. So here's what I invented for you. Okay. I'm all potato. Instead of a clip for your chips, here's a chip clip. It's all in one, man. What?

Oh, it's like a Donald Duck. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Wow, a clip chip. Yeah, clip chip. And then I... Wow.

I really liked, you know, you gave me some stuff of yours. So I wanted to bring you a personalized poster to thank you for doing... the podcast. So here's a personalized, but you can't see, it says two, fill in names.

So like you're, you're gonna put like your name. So like, you know, I have to add it in. Yeah. And shoot for the stars. So this is very,

it's a very personalized poster I made for you, Harland. Two, but I don't, the fill in the name thing. Yeah, well,

I mean, you'll fill in your name and they'll be personalized. So I have to do it. Well, I mean, just as you're reading it, you could just say in your head like two

and you'll, put like Harland, you know, Tabitha Williams or whatever your middle. Can I do that right now? Sure, yeah, absolutely. And then to go along with it, oh, wow, yeah. I have a really wacky signature.

It's like one of those like doctors signatures, you know? I see that. I'm like a doctor that prescribes. And I don't like it really when people don't put my name. H-A-R-L-L-H-L-H. A and D. There, I think I got it. There it is.

Now that is a signature. Yeah. And people say they can't read it, but you picked it up immediately. Absolutely. And I thought, you know, because you do like a lot of movies, I heard you're directing.

Yeah. So I wanted to give you my headshot. Oh my God. I'd love to take a shot at your head. Said to Harland, thanks for all the mushrooms you brought on my podcast. and I did include my credits on the back so you can see I know you're directing films now.

You know, so I do have one film credit. It's going to be Scary Movie 12. Okay. When they make that. Music videos, all of Necrogobligods, you know. Yeah. That's like seven or eight. I've done podcasts.

I've done the Harland Highway. Well, we're not done yet. Don't hold your breath. I can shut it off any second guy. easy breathe breathe john okay i've also done the joe rogan podcast well not really but technically post below did go on the joe rogan podcast and he mentioned my band so i'm just going to use that as okay that's fair um and then special skills hosting the number one comedy podcast in the world if you don't google it and um right now

that's the name of it or doing this one right now though but yours is right now uh no this is we're in your place doing your podcast Right now. Right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And finally, making up special skills. So I just wanted to give you all those. Wow.

Yeah. You know, you hand me two things, and I go, God, I wish I had a chip clip right now. And look at this. Oh, my God. Hello. And why don't you turn that into a half pipe and just skate that bad boy?

Yeah, dude. Dude. Wow. Everything else is what I'm going. Oh, one more thing. Please. I love gifts. So on our episode,

you summoned a British scarecrow. Yeah, Lord Corn. Lord Corn. He came on the podcast. And we get a lot of fan mail. And I got sent so many letters to give to Lord Corn. So I, this is from a fan. These were from,

this was from at murder. And this is, Wow. This is a photo that they said of themselves. Wow. And it says, if you could read it, it's... Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And it's from... Yeah, so yeah, there you go. Wow. Yeah. I will make sure Lord Corn gets this. Please do. I mean, the fans are rabid about Lord Corn. They're like, we want more, Lord Corn.

Oh, God. Well, lucky for me, this is the third document you've handed me. And if it wasn't for my clip chip, these would be all over the place. Let's put that find that clip. Who knew that would come in? By the way, is this sour cream and onion or

is this salt and vinegar? Oh, that's salt vinegar because I thought... Oh, yeah. Isn't that what... Nice. Is that preferred in Canada? I love it. I love it. If you happen to have a barbecue chip clip later on, I'd love to complete the collection. I don't...

I just... Oh, God, I don't know how this guy here. I have a CD for one of my favorite groups. Uh-oh. Uh, I can't really give it away, though. Okay. Yeah, there, I, I love this band. You do? Yeah.

The cousins. Yeah. Is it, that's, that's my band. You said you're a singer, you're like, these guys are incredible. I mean, this song Christina is like, that's just what I play. What? To soothe myself to sleep. I don't, I don't, I don't, this is a CD I brought.

by mistake, because I can't leave home without it kind of thing. Oh, but it's not even opened. I have seven copies. Okay. I don't want to get it damaged. I'm not crazy. Okay. I mean, wow.

Have you heard of this band? Yeah, they're pretty damn good. They're incredible. That's the love song years, and they have another album called Rattlesnake Love on Spotify. And I mean, dude, like, those are, you know, at the end of the year with the Spotify, rapped. Yeah. They're basically just,

they just, mine just said, you're related because they're your cousins. Yeah. I listen to them so much. They're like, welcome to the family.

Wow. Well, since you listen to them so much, what's your favorite cousin song? I mean, I said, Christina is incredible.

Yeah, I mean, that one. Why that one? Why does that resonate with you, John? I just,

I like the message. Yeah. Yeah. It's a love song. You love the love. They're all love songs. Oh, John. I think from growing up in a kind of like a zoo environment, you know, my human family that adopted me,

they kind of put me in a room and it had like these giant walls that you could see through. And so my whole life I spent behind the glass. And so when I heard this track, which is called, oh, behind the glass. Yeah. That also has a DVD video component to it. I was like, is someone speaking directly to me? Yeah. You know, I mean, it was like, when you hear music sometimes

and the way you could connect to it, you're just like, is this my life set to music? All alone looking out at you again. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I can see. That was our first song. And it was one of those things where it's like,

I couldn't hear it because the glass I was under very thick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it had to be like, you know, like, but like I could feel it. You know what I mean? When you can feel music and not have to turn it on, that's a, that's good. Chubbies, oh chubbies. I'm still wearing them. You can't get me out of my chubbies.

I'm still trucking around in my chubby shorts. I'm on the beach. I'm climbing a coconut tree. I'm sitting around eating glazed ham in my chubbies, okay? I love the way they feel. feel. They make me feel like a warm burrito. I don't know how they make you feel, but warm burrito is a good thing. Okay, chubby shorts aren't just dangerously comfortable. They're built with premium fabrics that are quick drying, wrinkle resistant, and antimicrobial. Holy God, they're designed to

keep you going from cannonballs to crushing cold ones in the same dang pair. Chubbies has a wide range of shorts from casual to athletic to swim. Okay, classic line swim trunks include a supportive boxer brief liner to keep you dry, comfortable, and chafe free. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our listeners 20% off with code Harland Highway at chubbyshorts.com. That's 20% off your order with code Harland Highway. Give your thighs the VIP treatment they deserve with chubbies. Support our show and tell them that we sent you and go get your chubbies, gentlemen. Oh, John.

Thank you for the wonderful gifts. I mean, thank you for having me. I just want, I just, I noticed that a lot of people come on podcasts. Yeah, they don't bring gifts. They don't bring, they're immediately, they treat it like, oh, I'm doing you a favor. I'm here to do you a favor. Meanwhile, it's like, we're doing this together. It takes two to podcasts, unless you're doing a solo podcast, which a lot of other people do.

Oh, Harlan. Harland. Oh, God. Hold on. Harlan? I actually can't prepare for this. Harland? Hold on.

I have medical grade tissues. Thank you. Okay, hold on. I knew this would happen. I said, I'm going to the highway. It's going to get emotional. Here's a tissue slash golf. Thank you.

Yeah. You caught me at a very vulnerable time, John. Here's why I wasn't going to bring it up. No, don't talk to me. Talk to me. Hey, Arlet, look at me. I'm here, and I'm listening. I wasn't going to bring this up because I didn't want to, you know, bring the podcast down.

No, tell me. About four days ago, I had a procedure. and I had some fibroids removed from my uterus. You got them removed? Yeah. But you were showing me them after a podcast, and I felt like I really connected with them. How many?

I know, and this is the one I showed you. Did you? Oh. I just want you to know that you're... Oh. You're... Oh. This was in my uterus, John.

And this was the one you named Sylvia, correct? Yes, Silvio. Oh, God. Sylvia, where you going, bud? I just wanted you to know that these chewed me up so much. No, I... John. I love chocolate donuts, John.

Oh, this is... This is... Oh, my fibroid, John. Yeah. Oh, John. It's okay. Stretch my fibroid, John. Okay.

John, John, stretch my thyroid from my uterus, John. John, dingle, dangle, my uterus, John. Yeah, it's just, sorry, it's stuck. Okay, hold on. John, spaghetti caponara on my thyroid, John. It's just, John, hold on, I need a sweater with my thyroid, John. Oh, John, spider webbed my thyroid. Thyroid.

Okay. All right. Wow. Yeah. So do you see why it's so emotional? I'm going from laughing to tears to crying to yelling to. Yes. I think I yelled at you that I love chocolate donuts, John. Yeah, yeah.

Which. Oh, but this is the emotional roller coaster of a fibroid. Have you ever had them up your dirty uterus, your green stink hole? See, that was the uterus talking. By the way, you can take the Beetlejuice condom off if you want. You don't. I just wanted you. Yeah, because we have to do some more advertise.

I mean, no, I just, I didn't want it to get in your eyes. Wait. I didn't want McDonald's to be pissed at me. You want to keep this section. Just chardon it out. I don't want it to be exploited or abused. I mean, but this was sort of. You're not going to put like a Nike check on here.

Fuck no. And then you're going to change you it to Lulu Lemon and then say, square space. You know, if you want to create an ad free. website using AI. All you gotta do is go to Squarespace.com back slash Harlan Highway or anything like that, no?

I'm not here to make money. I'm here to sit and talk with a friend and let him fondle my fibroid. Thank you. You're welcome. No need to ask. He's a smooth operator. Smooth operator.

Coast to coast. L.A. to Chicago. Love for sand. The coast LA to Kila go sock my sister's leg braces Wait wait what did I say

What did you say? I said my leg I forget it yeah Could I have my fibroid back? Yeah of course Yeah if you don't mind Yep Oh do you want all of it or

If you could hold one end of it When I grab it back Just to there we go Fibroid John John How that is thyroid, John. John.

Look at this. John. I didn't see my thyroid out of you, John. Oh, John. Oh, John. Here's the thing, man. Yeah. When I look at you,

oh, yeah. What? Your thyroid, your thyroid's dripping. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, my thyroid, my thyphroids. My, my, yeah, let me.

Yeah. Sorry, John. It's all right. Clean my fibroid up. You know what? I wonder if I clip it, if I chip clip it. Oh, Chip clip it. Hang on.

Boop. Chip clipped. There we go. Now that, oh. That's, well, maybe because it's sour cream and onion. Oh, these were salt vinegar. But that should work because that's what I was thinking. The vinegar should act as a...

The vinegar should, they should be familiar with a vinegar, considering it's been up my uterus. Uh-oh. Oh, boy. I like chocolate donuts, John. Oh, he's happening again. It's happening again, Harland. Sorry, God. It's all right.

I just have my thyroid out. What's it called? Thies. Let me read it. Thys Freud. Your thighs Freud. It's called a uterine fibroid. Euterine fibroid.

Uterine fibroids are common, benign muscular tumors growing in or on the uterine wall. Do you have a uterine? I think I got two of them. Yeah. My doctor was telling me I need to eat more fibroid to make sure my everything's moving through me well. Oh, well, here you go.

Thank you. I'm sorry. They're hard to throw in the air like marshmallows will go right up. A thieffroyd will stick all over the place. And ain't that the truth? Ain't that the truth? Ain't that? Let me try it.

Yeah, see if you can catch it your mouth. See if I can catch it. See if you can catch it. There you go. You got this. Yep. And? Almost, almost.

Not even close. Buddy, let's switch gears. Yeah, let's, let's. You've been around for a long time. I just heard 30K. Okay. Yeah, it is okay. No, okay.

It's okay. would be that was 30,000 plus another zero. That would make it $300,000. 30,000. Got it. Yeah, just turned. You've seen a lot. You've been around a lot.

I have. Life can get tough. Yeah. People can get despondent and lost. How do they find their way back, John? When they're down, when they're struggling. Yeah. When life doesn't seem to have purpose

where there seems to be nothing on the horizon, John, in your years of living. Yeah. How do people carry on when there seems to be no more reason to carry on? Harland, I noticed when you were asking that question, you were projecting and you said, the word we. I just want to let you know, this highway is a safe space and you can say I. Okay. Yeah. John, when people are having trouble and they own an iPhone. Very good. Now you're doing it.

Now you're doing the work. How do they carry on? Thank you. I would say that any of life's answers can be answered using an I, as long as there's an A that comes before it. What about you? E, a, I, oh, you. And sometimes? Why? I mean, why.

That's, that was my main question. It's just like, you know what? What? You make perfect sense like that? Yeah. It clears my passages and it makes me want to do cucumber and onion farms. Oh, those are, oh. Get them over here. Don't hog them. Oh, God. Oh, oh. Eat my water babies, John.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Wow. I mean, why even have, you know, aerosol cans and candles that are scented? You've got to go into a business where we could just turn over Harland. When someone comes out of the, what was my friend called? Blue. Back here, Harlan, back here, back here. Bobba. Bobba.

Daddy like Bobba. Bamba That I like Mama Oh Did I kill Bamba I like Chocolate donuts

John Oh Oh Oh I like chocolate Donuts John Good boy Good boy

Yes Good boy There you go Dude my fibroid Since I've had it out Oh I'm sorry to burn Bubba

Nope da lait bubble and sorry to burst your bubble but hey guys let's talk about it ed our old friend ed ed ed ed yeah it's more common than you think fellas am i right and a simpler way to treat it is here through hymns yeah you can connect online with a licensed provider to access personalized treatment options discreetly and on your terms. This isn't a one-size-fits-all care that forgets about you in the waiting room. It's your health and goals put first with real medical providers, making sure you get what you need to get them results. Think of Hymns as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self

with simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for ED and more. All in one place. To get simple online access to personal affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit hymns.com slash Harland. That's Hymns.com slash Harland for your free online visit. Hymns.com slash Harland. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription is required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information.

Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. So get going, guys. Hems for you. And if your guy, that means you're a Hym. Hymns. I wanted to tell you about... Yes. Oh. Oh. Excuse me. Oh.

Excuse me. We almost touched tips. Wow. Yeah. One boy. One special boy. One boy to joke with. Have coke with.

One boy. Not two or three. One day he'll find out This is what life is all about He'll find someone who Is living just for you One boy One boy

One special boy I'm a special boy I like chocolate donut show Harlan, Harlan, Harlan, Harlan, Harlan, Barlet, Barlet, back here, back here. Thank you. Sorry, dude. This fibroid surgery has whacked me out. I hate that it's done this to you, man.

I hate seeing you this way. I'm glad you're here to help me through it. Yeah, man, is there anything else? You know what? Oh, God. I can't believe this is taking me this long to figure this out. What? I have the perfect tool for you.

I'm just got you and Cracker Barbar. are here to help me through this. Okay, so this, this is a fibroluicator, okay? Okay. And say it slow. So here's what you do. Baba! Okay, wait, wait.

Baba. I like Soccerdonat John. Baba. Baba. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good. But come to daddy. Good. I like chocolate donut, child. Okay, uh, uh, Harlan, Harlan, over here. Uh, Arlet.

Oh, bumba. Harlan, look over here. Look over here. Look over here. Look, there we go. Whoa. Whoa. What in the name of Morgan Freeman's shit-soaked underwear is this?

This is going to help you. Boa-y-y-y-y-y-gah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're getting it. Yeah. Yeah. Bollahillill yon. Bola y'allelah.

B'allelah. B'i y'allelah. You're very welcome, Harlan. Do you? I like the chocolate. Donuts. John. Oh, no.

See? Boil. And you're back. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Thanks, John. You're very welcome, Harlan.

I like the chocolate. Don't know. Oh. Oh. See? And you're back. And you're back. And you're back.

Is that nice? Wow. Is this a thyroid, fibroid interglactic interceptor telephtroffer? 2.0. Thanks, man. Yeah, you're welcome, man. I mean, I sometimes feel like in life. Yeah.

You get asked to do something that you do all the time. You like a podcast. Yeah, sure. And then every now and then you get a call and you go, I feel like I'm supposed. to do this. Mm-hmm. You know, it just feels like one of those things where it's just like, hold that one sec.

I have a joke I do in my act. What did the submarine say to the sea cucumber? That's, now that's a great joke. Is that your closer? It's my opener. Would you like a nilla? Oh. I don't know if you like them or not.

Let me, let me try to gain weight. Let me make sure it has enough. Bad stuff. It does. Okay, great. Yeah. Yeah, can I I don't like to eat on. Yeah, yeah. Can I? Can I like to eat on? Yeah, yeah. Can I put a put a few in there. Yeah. Put a few to go. Some nillas. Yeah. And my hands broken. Ah. John. When? When? I can't stop with the nillas John. When? John, John, I can't stop the nillas, John. John, help me, John. Oh, oh, oh, hold on. John, John, ah. Yeah.

Thanks, buddy. I had a nil attack, guy. I know, dude. What's up, Manila? Hell, man. Wow. That. I don't even want to touch it.

I mean, honestly. This is bleat. Get away. I just thought they were harmless cookies. I wonder, do you think that's a fibroid reaction? Oh, what are you doing? What's that? What's that?

What's up guy? You're not into, you don't snort nillas, do you? I mean, dude is Hollywood, man. You don't snort nilla? Harlan? Because I'm not sure that Wendy's would be happy if you were snorting drugs. No, there's nothing there.

I don't think Wendy's would be happy, but perhaps maybe McDonald's would be? Never know. What about Kentucky fried chicken? Always crisp, always ready. Chick-ching. For me, not for you. No, yeah, I know.

I, I, all right, if you need to snort, I can move your, yeah, go ahead. Nill it up. Millet it right up your nose. We just cut, cut, cut real quick. I want people to kind of. Yeah, I don't want any spot. I mean, I don't want any spot. I don't want any, yeah, cut, cut, cut, okay, we've cut.

This is how I get funny, you know. Go ahead, we've cut. And we're back. Hey, John. Yes, I'm hilarious. Yeah. Oh, dude. Oh, can I tell you all these stories, man, at work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's hear him. So, uh, one time I was in Hollywood, there's got this guy, and he's coming in, and I was just like, driving his mask car. I was like, oh, okay, is that quick, Dario? He's like, I'll do it. Hilarious? Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah, man.

Oh, wow. Thanks for having me, uh, thank you having a podcast, Harley. Did you great. Dude, you need to calm the fuck down. Hey. Have a gourd. Oh. Oh.

We're just, grr-r-oh. There you go, guy. Jesus. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Would you mind, well, we have a moment if I just... That forehead. It's such a big space.

If I could just... I would love to put a bumper sticker on your forehead if that's okay. Okay. I mean, it's just, I hate to see wasted space. As long as we think it'll come off. Oh, it'll come off. There we go. I mean, I don't want to see wasted space.

in space like that. Honk, if you're a silly little goose. Oh, wait. That's it. What? I've been trying to think of the name of my new stand-up special. Okay. Which I have yet to record or create the material for.

Okay. But say that again. Hong. Hong, if you're a silly little goose. I mean, it's... kind of got everything you want, right? It's asking something of the audience. Yeah.

It alludes to the fact that, like, I like comedy. I like to be a little silly. Yeah. And it's got like the G alliteration. It doesn't have to go like so literal like a goblin, but it's a goose, a silly goose. And that's like a common saying you, you filthy humans say. So I wondered like, what do you think, man?

That's like a comedian like for my next special. And is that? you know i'm doing a special soon too no i don't no i'm doing a i'm doing a special

too soon and i might need a name no i don't think it works but i know i like the way that sounds i don't say no it's too illiterate the alliteration is to alliteri for the illiterate latiae for people who have lyotius latitii's queen latifif

Audi eyes, they can't literize the lost little lies. Well, when you put it like that, that does make a lot of sense. So, all right, I won't do it. Yeah. I'm not going to do it. Well, John, we could go on forever and ever, and you already have. And I have.

Yeah, I was going to say, I have, and I will continue to, I think. But not before we do our final segment, John. Okay. We do with every special, wonderful guest. It's called Words from a. wooden shoe. Oh, great. You reach inside and you pull out a random word and see if it sparks a story from John's incredible journey, whatever century or year you're from, and you see what you pick, my guy. I love that. Oh, let's see. Just, just one. Yeah. You got one? I do. Okay.

What's it to say, my guy? It says, midcrush midcrush Oh, I think it's upside down Oh, yeah Can you help me? Yeah, let me see what it was up I think you had it upside down

Yeah Mad Crush Have you ever had a mad crush My guy or someone had a mad crush on you? You tell me, I don't know Uh, yeah, I have I'm one of those people That I fall in love

Pretty easily I'm a romantic I have a big heart. I sometimes get crushes on personality types. Like I'm obfosexual, so I'm attracted to anything, anywhere, anytime. Wow. Yeah.

Greedy. And boom, I like to have that all. Why can't you in this lifetime, Harlan? If your roommate's Satan, you probably learn from the best. Yeah. And so I developed a crush on someone. They are involved in our line of work. Okay.

and I was really excited to have this person on my podcast because for a long, long time, I'm trying to meet this person. And everyone on my podcast was like, oh, you got to get this person on your podcast. You got to get this person on your podcast. Go get this guy on your podcast. And when I would see him, you know, I'd be like,

there's something about Mary, you know. And sometimes he's, would do silly things. I'm like, it's dumb and dumber, you know, or like he'd say something like really half baked.

And I would just kind of think like, this is someone whose career is going to take off, like a rocket man. And I felt like at that time is when it started. And then slowly over time that build. And you have like tension builds, like really tension. And a crush isn't just a crush.

This is a bad crush. I mean, this is like, I've gone absolutely insane. just trying to finally meet this person. And so finally, this person came on my podcast. Oh, wow, that's nice. I thought so.

And so that was kind of like our first little, you know, wow, swaray together. Oh, wow. And so then I was like, I don't know if it was as good for him as it was for me. But then immediately, he responded with like, I got to get you to come on my podcast. So I was like, Oh, way.

I was like, you know, and can we just say it, Bobby Lee? I don't know why you're dancing around like everything. Can we just say Bobby Lee? And I get it now. Bobby Lee. And so I went on Bad Friends podcast. Yes. And I just, I reached like maximum sensations.

Like I, the biggest, oh, you could like, like, like the atmosphere. Oh, like the O ring. Yeah. That's, like, oh. Like, oh, you know, like, when the O ring meets the O face. Oh, face. Yeah. Yes.

Oh, I could see you and Bobby skipping through daisies, through poppies, through wheat, through the heather. Yes. Sitting under the willow with Neil Sadaki, even though he just died. Yes, yes. Same voice. Same body type. Wow. Same humor.

Same hair. Same hair. And so I just felt like that was the moment. Same teeth. Same teeth. Yeah. And then he comes. kind of like shut it down.

Oh, I'm sorry, Johnny. I know. What happened, John, John? I got my heartbroken. And I have trouble trusting now, Harwood. I have trouble trusting. You know, and so I don't know if that's the kind of story you're looking for. I don't know if you're trying to get clicks,

but like that's just how I am. Like, I'm an open book. Well, let me tell you this. Let's see if this makes the healing begin. Please. I was supposed to have that little. Freak Mutant on this podcast next right after you. Ew.

Really? And he can go straight to the Glendale Galleria, sit in the food court, and suck Arby's through a garden hose. Thank you, Harlan. You're welcome. And if that's where he's going to be, you know, just like text me a heads up.

I'll just like pretend to be like I walk around the fountain. I'd be like, oh, crazy, Bobby, what do you do? a gallery here. Like, oh, do you want to see a movie at the AMC? And you're like, oh, what's playing here? I can do one better. Okay. I know the owner of Orange Julius.

You know that, it's like a giant orange. Of course I know Orange Julius. What size shirt do you wear? What's that? What size shirt? Seven. I'll get you a shirt. You can work in the Orange Julius when Lee comes and sits down.

Oh, great. It's a direct like right there. He looks out at all the food court tables. Boom. Would you have someone like recorded? I want to like kind of like, really capture the moment. This way, if it works, when we're, like,

married and, like, we go on, like, into the sunset, we'll always have that to look back on. But if it doesn't work, we'll have Ashton Coutoutout. Yeah. And be like, uh-oh, you just got pumped. Pumped. Is it pumped? Pump.

That was pumped. Plucked. Plucked? It's something Pucked. Yeah. I thought you just got pumped. Pumped. Pumped.

Do it all his guess. puckered it might be puckered you just got puckered no there's too many K's you just got Pete

you just got Pete Pede pod Plotheria Plathagoras Plathagoras Pothagoras Plotagon

Is that a dinosaur Yeah that Maybe it's that You just got Platotagon Yeah you got platatagon Okay All right

Well So that's just, I mean, wow, what a good game. Like that all came from just a little suggestion. Well, I feel like you got a lot out. I did get a lot out here and now here. So sorry. It's very wet down there now. What happened?

Oh, I got it out. Oh, I'm getting something out here that will help us say goodbye. Is it time to go? Well, I want to, it is time to go. but I want to say thank you. And before we go, while I'm doing this, I would like John, my favorite number one goblin guest

to promote, plug, let them know where they can see your music, your podcast, your stand-up, your book, your video, everything. Please tell them. Okay, well,

make sure to follow me on Instagram at the Real John Goblacod. You can check out my podcast, the right now podcast, which if you want to see like the reverse of this where Harlan's on my podcast, that episode is out right now. Head to our YouTube page.

You can see me in L.A. performing comedy all the time. And I'm going to be a Moon Tower Comedy Festival and doing some comedy tours. Go to punchup.com. Live backslash John Goblican. And make sure to see my band Necro Goblican on tour with the awesome band,

Hannaby, coming to a city near you. And folks, I don't think there's any better way to say bye. then to put a nice bumper sticker, green on green. It's going to blend in, yeah. Right on that advertising space. Bye, John. Bye, Harland.

Until next time. Do you want to do like next week, next Tuesday? Just kind of make this a weekly thing. Maybe both of us will go on Bobby's podcast. I don't want to get in the middle of your romance. I'd love you to be in the middle of it. I love chocolate donuts, dog. Nilla, Nilla, Nillah, Nillah.

Oh, here we go. Nila. Oh, no, nila. Oh, no, nillah. Oh, no, hold on. Oh, no, hold on, nila. Oh, no, no, nillah. Until next time, chicken chalmane, baby.

We are. Hey, everybody. How would you like your very own personal video? message from me, yours truly. It's your birthday, it's your anniversary, it's your graduation, or you just want me to make you laugh. You get to pick the topic, you want me to discuss, give me some talking points, and off we go. You can get it for yourself or get it for a friend. It's super easy and fun.

Just go to the Cameo app on your phone or to Cameo.com. And I record a custom video made just for you or your loved one. very own personalized Harland.