The Harland Highway - KIRK FOX gender reveal. What's it going to be? Also, a divine call with Mrs. Buttersworth's team!

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

This episode is sponsored by Hims & Hers, Ethos! -Take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through Ethos, Get your free quote at ETHOS.com/harland. -To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, HairLoss, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/Harland. -Go to Quince.com/harland for free shipping on your order!Thanks for watching the Harland Highway. More Harland Williams: Harland Highway Podcast Video: https://www.youtube.com/c/HarlandHighwayPodcastHarland Highway Podcast Audio: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-harland-highway/id321980603 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harlandwilliamsHarbling Shirts: https://www.harbling.comOfficial Website: https://www.harlandwilliams.comTwitter :https://twitter.com/harlandhighway?lang=en More Kirk Fox: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirkfox/ X: https://x.com/kirkfox Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/foxkirk/#podcast #harlandwilliams Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, gang, just a little reminder at the end of today's podcast, we have an audio-only portion where, yes, we get a call from legendary pop singer George Michael. Apparently, he's been in hiding, and he decided to call the show to talk to us and come out of hiding. So it's an audio-only portion at the very end of the show. There's no video. You're just going to be able to listen in on my show. phone call with the late great George Michael and I hope you enjoy it. Gender reveal party right now, me and you. We're deciding what we are?

No, this is going to tell what my baby's going to be. It's a gender reveal party. You blow this and whatever color it is, that's the kid. Will there be noise? Ready? It's going to be a break. Pullover partner. Someone forgot the map.

You seem restless or something. Are you all right? I want to know. What? Are we... I just need to know if it's recording. Now I can tell by the way you glanced at the camera that we might be. Yeah.

Again, as a behavioral profiler, that's something I did after college briefly with the FBI. You did? Yeah, we don't need to get into it yet. But every time I come here. Yeah. And I now know we are recording. What gave it away?

Now I'm interested. Okay. Now I'm querying you. The eye twitches, the way you kind of looked at me, wondering how it was going to start. And you always say, well, you seem a little restless. Yeah. And I know that that's your trigger.

That's your giveaway. Yeah. Because the minute you say that, I know we're recording. Well, you're all fluffer nuttery. Like, you sit down, like any, like a choir boy kid would just sit down and be still. But you like kind of fluff or nut and Dumbledorf and flimble bimble. What I do, I like to be aware of my surroundings. Yeah.

You don't just get to work and aggressively start emailing. You get into work and you look around and you make sure it's a safe environment. When I come here, it's always a little, you're coming at me hard trying to get content. Well, it seems like you're always like kind of flattening out your clothes, but your clothes are maybe the most wrinkled I've ever seen. Like, sometimes I think I'm interviewing one of the California raisins from the 80s. Oh, that was a good year for the raisin. Yeah, but you're all crink. Like, look at the crinkle cuts and the grumple clums.

It's good cotton. I know, but you are, you see, you're always doing. this, you're fluff or nutting yourself. I'm getting it because I'd like to have good posture. I know there's a camera there. I know I'm currently handsome, but I also know that the hair's gotten longer. Oh, dude. And it's very greasy. Wow. I didn't have time to shower today. Yeah, you can tell. I had a morning bowel movement. But a lot of us do. It's not like I'm the only one. I usually like to shower after. That's like the beautiful sea breeze when you slurp.

Wait, why is your hair greasy? Like, do you put grease in it? No. Does it grease when you sleep? Are you a sleep greaser? This is nature. Like some people sweat when they sleep, but I picture grease bubbling out of your pores on your head when you sleep.

No, it's just, it's been a long time since I've shown. shampooed. How long? I think maybe a week since I've shampooed. I've showered. I get in the shower and I have some soap that's very powerful. Just a drop is equivalent to maybe this much soap for a civilian. So I put a little in there and I do my undercarriage and my overcarriage. I go over first before the under. So it's a sort of an over under situation. Yeah, over under on the carriage. Okay.

So I go and I really clean that and I have a razor that may have been my father's. Is there rust in it? There is a little. Yeah. But that makes me kind of immune to tetanus. Is there salmonella in it, do you think? There might be. Yeah, sounds like it.

There's definitely things that strengthen my ball area. Wow. Well, infection, scabs that become stronger. Like when you break a bone, it's stronger when it heals. It calcifies. Is that the medical term? Maybe. I did med school and I stopped before calcification area.

But all I'm saying, I don't want to spend too much time on this. But I clean the undercarriage and the over. But it sounds like if you're scabble, you're building an exoskelet and around the egg sack, and you're almost cocooning your nutsies. Yes. Okay. Now, see, now I get it. Yeah, now you get the visual.

Now I didn't know what you're saying it first, but now it's crystal scab clear. Yeah, so when I go in there with the old razor, it's to take hair off and infection. Okay, you're scraping infection. Yeah, and I spend... That's a good razor. Is that a Gillette? It might have some Gillette in it. It's definitely a bick.

How many blades? Well, there were eight. I'm down to three. So five have broken off in the undercarriage because there's parts of the ball area that's like cement. It's basically if you take a razor blade, Harlan, right? Still, hang on. Let me check my ID.

Check. So while you're checking, this is a very catch-mey- if you can, I saw a clip from that. But the blade hits cement. My driver's license. Okay. The blade... How do I spell?

H-A-R-L-A. Harland. Harland. What's my last name? I've never known... Williamsburg or something... Williams. Yeah, it's me.

It's me. Okay. Yeah. Just to finish up this story. The bag story. I don't get to the hair. What happens to it? I'm so busy on the Nutella and the scabbing.

Yeah. I like to clean with the razor around the, I believe it's the anal area. Oh, God, dude. Yeah. But is that the area? Well, I don't know. I'm not there watching you scab yourself. Is it?

Is it? God. I'm not up against your window going like it's watching you scrape your anews. Okay. So it is a noose. Yeah, in French. Okay. Well, when I shower, it can be any language.

So when I clean around the anews, ah, man. Wait, in the shower, your asshole can be any language. Yes. How do you say it in Russian? Ah, enya. Inya. I don't think you wanted Inya if you're talking about your arsenal. Maybe that was Ukrainian.

Yeah. Okay, but listen. Harlan Williams. Yeah. And thanks for the A-News tip. But I spend so much time cleaning around the A-News. Yeah. In case anyone ever ventures toward it.

I don't like hair. Okay. That's how you hold on to crusties and DNA. Yeah. So. Dingleberries. Or dingle. Yeah.

Berries are fine. I like fruit. We have a lot of truck drivers listening, and they are the king of dingleberry. So I didn't want to not acknowledge them. I'm sorry. I give it up to the truckers. Yeah. Man, I love you guys.

Breaker 1-9. That's CB Talk. Yeah, Breaker 9, we got a bear in the air come back. Awesome. And there's also a lot of hookers at truck stops. So you guys keep up the good work, enjoy your break. Yeah. And just to finish our story, I don't have time to shampoo.

Because you say how come it's been a week. Because I shower a lot. daily, always after a poop. But you don't shampoo. I don't shampoo. I don't need to. Well, if you have a shower, I'm assuming you have a house. So now I got to break it down and wonder if you're role playing that you're homeless. And is that morally acceptable to pretend you're homeless in a house that you own?

Is that a slap in the face to the downtrodden in the streets with their oxycotts? nightmares and their heroin dreams. I would like to explain, I am homeless. Okay, but you have a home. It is not mine. Okay. Who is it? Is your wife? It's the wife. I have nothing in my name. So you're homeless. In a home, but it's, it's like I'm squatting. Yeah. Do you remember Pacific Heights with Michael Keaton and Matthew Modin? Okay. Someone moved into the guest house and wouldn't leave. So I moved in, I believe, with my wife. To the main house.

But I spend a lot of time down in the basement. Squatting. Squatting. On the toilet. Vacuuming. Oh, okay. So you're earning your keep at least you homeless. But I didn't finish what I'm vacuuming.

The scabs, the DNA. I know. It's a terrible start. Yuck. This all was built on the hair and the grease. Like, I'm handsome. Okay. Well, yeah, you are. You are. But the hair's longer than normal. Yeah. I've worn this jacket, I'm sure, a lot of times. Yeah. It's good cotton. Well, what's neat is you just do the two buttons. Well, because I have a bit of a belly. Yeah, it looks like you're

pregnant. I'm a little, you know, I'm just trying to build up a reservoir for when I leave. I want to just jump a train and ride the rails. Like a hobo. Exactly. Okay, I could see you as a hobo. I mean, you're already homeless. Why not be a hobo on top of it? Isn't that like a traveling homeless?

Yes. Okay. So you got the whole homeless-like field covered. Yeah. Great. I feel... I think we can start the show now. Well...

Folks, he's homeless. He's got no... He lives where the Buffalo Rome. It's Kirk Fox. He's back. Kirk Fox. Kirk Fox is here. And a comedian, author has a new book.

Bakersfield, 57201. It's Palmdale. And I don't even know if I'm a comedian. I like to say I'm a simple tennis pro. You're a tennis pro. What about homeless comedian? I'm just comedian. I don't, I don't, I'm not getting enough laughs to warrant the

title. Okay. I don't really tour much. Yeah, you tour with some big names, though. Well, not in a long, long time. Okay. So tennis pro. I'd like to think I'm a tennis pro, and I'm available. But you're not on the pro circuit. Not at the moment. So you're just a tennis, really? I'm just a tennis. I'd say instructor. Okay, that's a lot different than saying tennis pro. I usually don't. Have you ever been professional? Briefly, there was some times that I played professional tournaments. I didn't make enough to warrant the tour title. Yeah. I couldn't really pay for my hotel. So you're just like a homeless recreational tennis player if we're scraping away all the nut meat. Yes. Okay. But Harlan. Yeah. And I usually don't offer my

services. Hang on one second. You just said, Harland, you said? I just want to, I sort of forgot. Confirm it. Yeah, you're right, Harland. Okay. Thank you. I usually don't like to offer my services for payment. So you're a free... What I'm saying now, I said I usually don't like to. Oh. I would like to say if there's anybody out there with a tennis court. Their own court. Their own court. You don't do public courts.

I'm not doing public instruction. Yeah. Private, which means money, wealthy. Yes. I'd like to come to your home. Yeah. And teach you tennis, possibly your children also.

Before you keep going, does it hurt you to go to, as you said, a home and know that that's not something you'll ever have because you're homeless? No, that's wonderful. Okay. I travel light. How many watts?

I would say 40. I'm very dim. It's a slight wadage. It's making sense. But I would like to come to a court. Yeah. Maybe 15 or 20 minutes before we even start. So you can eat.

Is this a food court? It should be. Yeah. You ever play tennis in a food court? court? Yes, every court I used to play on. Imagine serving up a Panda Express spring roll? No, I don't want trash. I want I want sandwiches, something made at the house. I like Italian. Okay. Half a torpedo. You know what this sandwich is? Italian sub. Italian sub, yeah. I don't know where the torpedo came from. Have you heard it before?

Well, it's a sub, but the torpedo, if we're being technical, is a shape of the bread. is a sub part of the sub because the torpedo is housed inside the fuselage of the sub so the torpedo is just an annex to the sub it's not the sub so maybe it should just be called a torpedo sandwich but it hasn't it been in the past

I remember growing up where I'd go into this little deli and I'd say I'd like the Italian torpedo Huh. Maybe someone can comment if I'm off there. I think you're off. Okay, but let me just finish up. Yeah, way off. Maybe even way off.

That's fine. Like way off, almost like homeless, wandering, delusional, opioid, oxy cotton, night terror off. I feel that that's a good place to be. Is that where you're at right now? Be honest. I'd like to say I'm close.

Yeah, I think so. You ever see Twilight Zone, those swirling? thing. Your eyes, I can kind of do, do, do, do, do right near your pupils. But they're green and twinkling. They're green and sexual. Yeah, I feel sexual. Yeah, you are sexual. Let me just finish up one out of home to go and have sex. What, uh, I'll find one. Yeah. Okay, what I am offering is tennis lessons. They will be expensive. They're good. I'm one of the, uh, probably one of the best tennis, homeless tennis pro hobos probably on the planet.

I've often wanted to get a motorcycle with a side car and put a basket of tennis balls in there. Oh, wow. And drive across the country teaching tennis for food. You're probably one of the best tennis pros on the circuit who's not even a pro on the circuit. Yes. Wow. So I'm one of... How much?

How much for like an hour lesson from a seasoned, unseasoned pro? I would like $200. But this... This includes conversation. Okay. Probably an hour of talk. So an hour of tennis, hands on, and an hour of talk. Eating a sandwich, little life coaching.

Is there a steam bath off to the side of the court? That's fine. If there is, I'm not against it. Is that part of the two? If they'd like to. I'm just offering $200 for maybe a couple hours of my time. I need a private court, should be in Bel Air or Beverly Hills. Because if I'm paying two, I want the hour for the lesson.

I want my hour of talking about it in the steam room, because I'm thinking if you're in a steam room and that clay-covered nut sack of yours, probably starts to heat up and smell like tendori. And I love Indian food. Okay. So... Am I right here?

Am I just out of my mind? No, you're finding a lane that you'd like. like the dance in. So not only will you get Tandori, I'm going to fix your backhand. Oh, wow. Now, do you have a private court? Yeah. So it's over. So we can do this. Yes. Great. When do, how's your, how's your schedule? My schedule's open. I have nothing. Even this was I forgot about. Yeah, yeah. There's that slurp. Well, I want to, while celebrating your tennis achievements, I'm going to drop this. is a teaser. I know. Because you're teasing people with your tennis prowess, but I got a teaser later in the show, I got a big surprise for us. For us? For us. Mostly for me, but you're going to participate

in it. Okay. A big surprise. I'm like mega excited. Okay. And mega is big. Yeah, mega, huge excitement. So mega is a word. Yeah, mega. Okay. Now, there was a big giant shark named Meg, correct? Yeah, yeah, the Meglodon. Okay. Now, is this similar? No, well, in scope, it's, it's, yeah, it's a big, a big thing, and I'm excited about it. Okay, so mega. Mega. And before I get to that, I want to tell you about something that happened to me where I was almost, almost killed. Oh, this is what I'd like to hear. I think about death often. Go ahead.

Death for me? I think about murder a lot. For me. Just at times. How would you murder me? I'm just curious so I can sort of sit. You know, you baby proof a house? I'd like to baby proof my safeguard my whole life.

Like, how would you kill me? Hey, gang, I want to talk to you about hymns. Yeah. Is it starting to feel like sex is always scheduled? Is it starting to feel like sex? like sometimes even rescheduled, uh-oh, bring back some spontaneity in the old bedroom with HIMS. That's right. It's not about managing a condition or treating a symptom. It's about having the sex life that you really want.

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Based on a survey of HIMS customers, see Hymns.com. for full details. Let's get that spontaneity back in the old bedroom hymns. Well, if I tell you, it kind of defeats the purpose. Yeah. A lot of it would have to do with a spider. Oh, wow. Also, a knife will be involved.

Okay. Okay, and a club. Wow. And when I say club, I need a disco. Like you're going out, you're going to a rave. I would have thought tennis. I know. You're doing it as a diversion.

I get it. Smart. Yes. Murder he wrote. Yes. Wow. That's my next novel. Have you ever bedded Angela Lansberry?

You look like you have. Well, I did not know it was her at the time. Oh, wow. I fell asleep in the park. Oh, man. And she happened to be there doing a book signing. Oh, God. And she fell asleep.

I thought it was a beanbag. Yeah. And I laid on top of it, fell asleep. I have a nocturnal emission. Wow, I know what you're saying. I have wet dreams nightly. It's like an owl barf. Yes, because I don't masturbate.

I get close and then I go to bed. Yeah. So it happens during the night. And that's what happened in the park with Angela. So you fell on Angela Lansbury, fell asleep, had an owl puke. And did she know about it? Not yet. Not yet.

Okay. Does she, is she, a list? Listener. I don't even think she's alive. Okay, that's funny to me because now I'm wondering if I killed her. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah.

What did you do? Murder you wrote. Forget about murder she wrote. She did not wake up. Yeah. Can you find out when she died? Yeah, let me look. And I'll tell you when her book signing was and when I fell on top of her and had a nocturnal

emission. Okay, I got you. This could be crazy. Siri, when did Angela Lansbury die? And was she pregnant? October 11th, 2022. No. Yeah. Okay. I did a book signing, October, she did a book signing October 10th, 2022. So you killed her the next day? Well, or that night and they found her the next day. Oh, wow. Did she die in a park? Siri, where did Angela Lansbury die? Oh, Los Angeles. It's not being specific.

Okay. There's a lot of parks here. That's where this happened. Oh, wow. So there's a good chance that I was her last joy. Yeah, her last almond joy by the sound of your nuts. Yeah, it was white and chunky. Wow.

Wow. And in a rapper almost. Well, I did not wrap it. That's why she may have been pregnant. Oh, wow. She died pregnant at 88. Can you ask last question? Was Angela Lansbury?

Barry, because she died. They had to bury her. It was Burry, but then when she died, was she pregnant at the time of death? Siri, was Angela Lansbury pregnant at the time of death? Yes. Please. It's Kirk.

Siri knows me. Yes, it says Angela Lansbury was pregnant at the time of her death. A DNA swab certified that Kirk Fox's semen was in her ovaries. Her ovaries or underies? What was her overundaries? Siri, what was Angela Lansbury's ovary underies? It says, on sale it. Old Navy this weekend.

So there's money to be made. I guess, yeah. So here's the question is, am I entitled to cash? Yeah. And I'll look that up on my own. Yeah. So she was pregnant.

Yeah. You asked me if I'd ever had sexual relationships. Yeah, with Angela Lansberry. And I did. Huh. But it was the night before she died. Yeah. And she wasn't aware of it.

Yeah. And she was pregnant. That's a fast turnaround. Are you sure she didn't give birth to a polywog or something? I don't know the difference. Yeah. Well, sperms look like polywogs anyways, except big ones. I never really focus on them.

Yeah, because most people don't know the shape of their sperm unless they're having sex, and on their bed table, they have a microscope. So they can look at what a sperm actually looks like, but they look like tadpoles. So if you ever want to verify this, have sex with a giant. And when their sperm comes out, you can actually see it looks like a tadpole. Like I'm talking 40 feet or higher. I don't know if we've ever mentioned this, but my wife wanted to freeze some sperm of mine.

Wow. So you had to whack off in the freezer? Well, I was always avoiding cold areas. She wanted my sperm because she thought I was getting old. older and dumber and weaker. That's not very nice. Yeah, and I didn't know if she was talking about me or my sperm. So she wanted to freeze it.

Yeah. I'm not freezing sperm. It's the worst thing you can do to sperm. They're warm weather critters. Well, then you're going to have a kid that's always chilly. Yes. No matter where you go. Daddy, can I have a blanket, their teeth?

They're always chattering. Their skin's sort of blue. Yeah. You don't want a freezer baby. No. What about can't, are there microwave babies? Can you go to the other way? There's got to be.

Why can't you throw your sperm in the microwave? Why haven't you got to be so cold? You've heard of global warming? Spermal. Warming. Yeah. That makes sense. I'm in a microwave my sperm.

Forget about freezing it. How many seconds? That's like a 30 sec. What's good? I would hit popcorn. I think it's about the same. You don't want it to pop. Oh, yeah.

You wanted to get right to the point of popping. Fish. I'd hit fish because that kind of, it's a nice one. And they look like a fish. Well, they're like a polywog. They're aquatic. We've verified that. Now, aquatic's water related. It is. It's also Aquaman related. The superhero lived underwater and ate smell. I saw, I met him, Aquaman. On land or in the water? On land. Oh, wow. I asked him his kryptonite because I'm not really familiar with Marvel stuff. And he said, said cramps. Yeah.

Like the only thing that can shut down Aquaman cramps. Cramps, yeah. And that's why they say you shouldn't eat like an hour. Just take an hour before you go in the water because you'll get cramps. Here's something I'd like to ask you. Sure, I'm right here. Do you still have to wait an hour before swimming if you eat sushi? Find out that.

Siri, do you have to wait an hour before swimming if you eat sushi? Because it's fish related. Aquatical. Mr. Williams, please fuck off. I'm not going to participate in your stupid-ass podcast with your dumb guest and your stupid jughead face. Why don't the both of you grow up, get jobs, tell your guest, Kirk Fox to get a house, shave his crusty nutbag,

Why don't you grow a chin, Mr. Williams, you fucking loser. Boy, did we ask the wrong question. Yeah, but she knows us. That's AI. Anyways, can I get to my life and death story? Yes, I thought we had gotten. No, I haven't even started. As the pod started.

Oh, let me hit the theme music. And I didn't know the Mexico hat. What do you mean? Do you know Mexico? It's just south of here. Straight below California. Before we leave, let me tell you something. that happened before we leave okay but do two years first but I got to tell you something that

happened okay let me let me tell you my life and death story and then we'll go to Mexico and then I want to get to him of the big surprise you're gonna love this am I still handsome you're handsome and sexy and a little greasy but uh but here's what happened I bought a rescue dog okay about one of these rescue dogs and you know you hear about them all the time i got them at the you know the humane society or whatever i'm like okay rescue dog could be good i took him for my first walk up on a cliff and he's with me and i hang over i crawl down the side of a cliff and i'm hanging there's one branch sticking out i'm probably 300 foot drop and i'm just hanging by a branch and there's my dog looking down at me and i'm like okay, go.

And he's just like, I'm like, do your, let's go, rescue me. Yeah. And I'm just, and my fingers are starting to go. And this idiot, he runs off someone through a stick.

And I'm just hanging there. And I'm like, hello, rescue dog. Yeah. And just by luck, some pedestrians were going by and they dragged me up onto the cliff. I almost died.

I was down to just one finger. So that sounds like the Brad Pitt film. Oh. Which is about a rescue dog. Okay. That I believe was in Afghanistan doing some covert activity. But now has to save Brad Pitt. Well, I hope his rescued him because mine didn't rescue me.

And then two days later, I took him down to the beach and purposely jumped into a riptide. Yes. And I'm just slowly floating out. And I'm like, hey, here, boy. here, boy, come and get you a little chihuahua. A little about this big. Come and get, and I thought it would dive in, you know, grab me by the nape of my neck, if that's even a word.

Now, what kind of dog? It was a chihuahua. And I just thought it would pull me in and nothing. Just stand in there. Once again, somebody threw a frisbee. So this is a hot dog. And all this is like, I'm like, where are you, God? False advertising.

Yeah, rescue dog my ass. To call it a rescue dog. How about murder she. wrote dog or maybe a watch this is like a watch dog watch there it is it just watched yeah it was a fucking watchdog you're right i wanted a rescue they gave me a watch dog yeah so you can maybe take it back and say you gave me a watch dog yeah a great one yeah oh man was it good you don't you don't attack yeah you let him know this rescue dog was i believe a watch dog i'm gonna there's what i'm gonna do thank you for this. I'm going to take the watchdog back, get a new rescue dog.

And then try the same thing. I like... I'm going to run across the 405 at rush hour, like nine lanes of traffic and see if the rescue dog will come in and intervene and rescue me. That's unbelievable. Yeah. But that's the world we're living in where... Everything's a letdown. Yeah. You thought you were getting a wonderful rescue dog.

What the hell? And you got a watchdog, a chihuahua. Yeah. Mexican. Oh, yeah, you said you had a Mexico story. And then right after your Mexico story, the big surprise. Okay. And this is sort of kind of, because usually people dip out on me and you after about five minutes.

They do? Yeah, but this is like a cock teaser. Big surprise coming right after the homeless guy's Mexico story. Well, this is. Let's hear it. Let me first of all, it's important to preface. Okay, do you need some blackberry lemonade first or anything? Just for a minute.

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Yeah. And first of all, it's like just an announcement. By the way, good grunting after we drank. A lot of people don't do it. They just drink and put it down, but we both did a. Yeah, I'm me. Okay, sorry. I just wanted to acknowledge that because people don't know.

What's this? I'm just kind of. The shoulder's a little better. It used to be frozen, but. It's almost like you were baptized in a river and you're standing. Oh, I'm always, I'm always bringing in the power. Really?

I have a few. My face is going to be on this new TV show called The Lowdown. Oh, wow. I did a few episodes. I'm in there briefly. But it's the same creator of reservation dogs, Sterlin Harjo. Oh, the Native American fellow. Yes, but he's doing the lowdown, and Sterlin had always bring in the mystical powers.

That's the beauty of the Native American peoples. They have power and spirit in everything. The great spirit. And he would always tell me to walk in beauty. and everything I do I try to do in beauty. Did he ever tell you to walk into a house and not be homeless anymore? Yeah, he's told me a lot of things.

He gave me some work on the lowdown FX. Wow. Second season premieres October 14th, you know, maybe before this, maybe after, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. But let me tell you about Mexico, because we're running out of time. I have Pilates at 2.30.

Yeah, I got you. We're doing great. Yeah. Gosh. Let me see how much. Let's see, pull out of term. Check on. Yeah, we're doing great.

We're doing great. You got 45 seconds to tell the Mexican. No, take your time. Okay, yeah, we have. I just checked the watch. Go. Don't call your restaurant, authentic Mexican,

unless there's a chance you can be kidnapped and murdered before you finish your chicken taco and flaming margarita. Makes sense. Now let me explain what happened. Okay. Wow. And it's... Sounds intense.

Brother. It is. Sometimes in life, something happens and opens up, man, a whole new lane. Okay. Like, your rescue dog. That story touched me. You thought you got to rescue Chihuahua and you got a watch dog from Mexico, which coincides with the hat.

Did the hat come with the dog? No, but a life insurance policy did. But I don't want to drag my story out. This is your turn. Yeah, let me drag my own out. Yeah. So we've already mentioned about if your restaurant is authentic Mexican. Now, do you say Mexican or Mexican?

Because a lot of the Mexicans in particular drop letters to their own country. They'll go, I'm from Mexico. And I'm like, what happened to the X? They're busy. They've usually worked all day. Yeah. The Mexicans. Yeah.

Hard workers. And there's a horrible racial stereotype where a lot of people say they're lazy. Oh, God. And don't you dare try to pin the fact that they dropped a letter out of their own country due to laziness? I'm not going to let that happen. Where are you from? Mexico. What happened to the act?

I'm lazy. No, we're not doing that here. They're tired. They're tired. Because they worked all day. They work. They're not. You ask them in the morning.

Where are you from? Mexico. Yeah. Sir. And if you ask them late afternoon. Late afternoon. It's just, mm. Or they point to a hat.

Yeah. Sweat, a sweaty brimmed hat. Yeah. Okay. So. Yeah. I was at a Mexican restaurant. restaurant.

Me again. No, this was early in the day. Okay, it was lunchtime. Yeah, everyone's fresh. And I said, and I was with a girl. A Mexican girl? No, a female honky. Okay.

Cracker. Yeah. Okay. And I said, I will have a carneasada burrito. I like the steak. And my date, is in the bathroom, she'll be right out.

I don't like this already. And he said, sir. You didn't say signor? No, he said, sir. You weren't a cracker barrel? No, I thought I was. Okay.

But here's what happened. Okay, sorry, I'm just... Here's what happened. God. Halah. Ha. Is that my name in Spanish? Yes.

Yeah. Ha. At four o'clock. It's ha. Yeah. What's your name? Ha. Yeah.

Out. Tired. Not lazy. Ciesta. Not drunk. Yeah. He said, I don't know if you noticed,

but this is an authentic Mexican restaurant. Okay. Meaning I shouldn't have let her go to the bathroom. Oh, no. By herself. What happened? Kidnapped. Oh, God.

So there's some kids napping? No, there was no tired young Mexicans. Okay. They weren't napping. Okay. And I said, what? And they said, I don't know if you notice it's authentic Mexican. But for five grand, we can have her back in time for the donkey show.

Okay, that sounds fair. Now, I'm going to tell you something. I've been to a donkey show. Okay. And it's the best job a donkey can have. What is a donkey show? I know they don't. Well, a donkey show, and PETA is upset about this.

They called me after I mentioned this at a comedy show. because I'm rehashing something that happened. Peter was upset about the donkey shows in Mexico. But what are they? You're dancing all around it. You're trotting all around it. They feel the donkeys are being exploited and hurt. But the donkey show is the best job a donkey can have.

They are being serviced. They are being touched by beautiful women. Oh, wow. To completion, a donkey, if a donkey could do this. With its hoof. Yeah. That would hurt. But they don't have thumbs.

Yeah, you can't hoof up. You can thumbs up, but to hoof up, you'd almost have to snap your ankle. Yeah, and we don't want that. Yeah. So the donkey shows, they're great. So the beautiful women are stimulating a donkey sexually, touching the donkey's organ. Or piano.

And the donkey is achieving. Yes. And how long does one of these shows last and what's the address? I mean, what? Well, this one was in Guadalajara. Okay. So I do not know the address. I believe there was a six involved, Sece,

but there may have been other numbers. So if you go to Guadalajara, I know the street was called Revulacion. Guadalajara. I barely know you. Yeah, February, Haya. But here's what I looked into. Yeah.

And then we'll get to yours. PETA should be concerned about the donkeys that work at the Grand Canyon. Not the Guadalajara donkeys getting hand jobs from beautiful women. Right. Because the donkeys in Arizona have to walk all the way down. It's a mild drop. 115 degrees. Yeah.

And believe me, they're having conversations like, can you believe Pedro is getting blown in Guadalajara, and we're stuck here in Flagstaff. Wow. In an air-conditioned bar nonetheless. Yeah. And then having a drink after or shooting pool. And we got to walk down a mile long.

With tourists on our back. Germans mostly. Oh, God. In shorts with black socks. Well, have the Grand Canyon donkeys ever thought about... Going home, of course. No, I'm talking about when they get to the bottom, ask the person riding them for a hand job.

Oh. I don't know. But I like where your mind is at. Because it might make for a smoother ride knowing you're going to... Yeah, I mean, you know, if you know your buddies are getting it down there, at least here you're putting in a little extra work,

but you deserve one at the bottom. Well, because you're carrying. The donkeys in Mexico, they're just showing up. Yeah. Some get there early and shoot pool. Some of the donkeys wait outside. And it just has to be a nice donkey that's respectful. What a life.

They have to respect the woman. that's helping them. I got to tell you, the Latin Mexican culture is, as a white guy from Canada. So you're white. I'm white. It said on my license when I was looking at my name earlier. It just said, it said honky. Okay.

But the Mexican culture, it's been a little tough on me because I'm not Mexican. I'm not used to it. I came from Canada, the Great White North. And I got here and I tried to learn the language. and I'm dyslexic. Which means you see everything backwards? Flipped, flopped. I have trouble with words.

And so I tried to get into the first thing. Is that by choice? No, it's God. God wanted me to be an idiot. Okay. And so the first thing I gravitated to in the light. One thing about idiot? Yeah.

I've often said, I, Kirk Foxx, I put the eye in idiot. Yeah. All three of them. them. Is that wrong? I put the eye in an idiot. Three times I was four. How many eyes are an idiot? Three, correct?

I put the... I think there's two. Okay. So I am an idiot. Yeah. Okay. You actually put the dot in idiot. You're such an idiot. And I don't even know what a dot is.

Oh, it's just a dot. That's a bin-die. A bin dot? A bin-dot? A bindi. The red dot on an Indian said, It's called a bindy. So that's a pimple and Indian? Well, it's not a pimple.

It's a ceremonial piece of, like a traditional. What's the peppercini, the red thing? Oh, pimento. Okay, so it's, what are you calling it? A bindi. And that's not a pimento? No. But you could put a pimento on your forehead and say it's a bindi.

Yeah, that's what I would do. But I wouldn't do that at the donkey show, because then it's going to start licking your face. That's fine. But back to me being dyslexic and gravitating towards my first order of business learning a new language was food. And a lot of the Mexican dishes end with Chimichanga, Chalupa, all these Mexicala.

They're all these ah-ending things. So I'm a little tipsy on... Tostata? Tostata. Which I say, and you can be. back me on this. Just a lazy taco. Yeah.

Hey, Tostata, how about you bend at the waist, keep your shit in? Yeah. That's just a toastata. And when you eat it, it explodes. Like spandex, like a fatty slipping out of a Lululelemon. I ate a tostada in my car once.

There's still lettuce and cheese from 10 years. Yeah. It's like an explosion. Lazy taco. Well, all these Tostata Chulupa, Chintata, whatever they are. So a few weekends ago, I got a little juiced.

I go to Taco Bell at three in the morning. I'm dyslexic. I go to the drive-thru window. I ordered a chihuahua. A rescue? No, just regular with cheese and onions. Oh, because if that's where you got your rescued chihuahua. I got that at the Humane Society.

This was a regular. I pull up, and this was one of these chihuahuas. You know how they tremble all the time. They're like the Parkinson's breed. Yeah, they're scared. Yeah, they're always trembling. Something happened. Something trauma and their eyes are bugged out.

And so I get this chihuahua. Maybe they did a donkey show early. Maybe they did a chihuahua show. I don't know. But this thing's shaking so much. The cheese and onions are flying all over. The sour cream goes into his already bugged out eyes. I pulled forward.

I went by a homeless guy, gave him the damn church. Went back in. and asked for a Pekingese, and she sent me to Panda Express down the street. So a Pincanese? I guess that's not Mexican. But is that a dog also? I don't know. But she sent me to Panned Express.

And how was it? I didn't go. I was too traumatized. Wow. Are you ready for the big surprise? I would think so. I think we've covered so much great. Perfect.

Uh, buddy, you're the first to know. Pregnant? Brother, gender reveal party right now, me and you. We're deciding what we are? No, this is going to tell what my baby's going to be. It's a gender reveal party. You blow this and whatever color it is, that's the kid. You blow that like a donkey show?

No, you twist and twirl it. Same thing. You're right. It is like a donkey show for an unborn child. And that's probably the size of the donkey. Are you ready to find out the gender of my kid? But first of all. Oh, God.

Will there be noise? It's going to pop. If you want to cover your ears, you can put the headphones on to muffle. What about eyes? Eyes, it's just going to go. Think of it is, think of this as the ejaculation when it, ready? It's going to be a gay kid. Look at all those colors.

So this kid What is it? A rainbow. He's going to have a lot going on or she. I didn't know you could do it. I thought it did male or female. I didn't know it did you like predicted the sexuality of a kid. Wow.

So this congratulations. Am I gay kid? That's important. Wow. My kid, what is that one? That is. How is my kid? Frozen.

Is that a frozen? Maybe it's a frozen embryo. It's a frozen sperm kid. That's magic. It's frozen in mid-air. That's rare. Maybe my kid, maybe my wife got your frozen sperm because it's frozen. This is a sign.

This is a sign that you screwed my wife with your frozen sperm. Now, what do we think is up there a spider? I don't know. It's just my kid's going to be. I hope that's on screen. It is. It's a. Should be on the two shot.

Hey gang, you want to get your hands on some of my merchandise? Well, check out harbling.com where I draw my own merchandise. That's right. I hand draw directly on the t-shirts with colored sharpies. You can own one of my original pieces of art. I call it wearable art at harbling.com. And if the originals are sold out, you can buy a print at harbling.com. Oh, that green.

Yeah, that's weird. I think we might be able to see it on the wide camera. Sweet. It's right there. Either way, it's there. Well, what do you think about my kid? Are you excited? Colorful?

Yeah. It can be whatever you'd like it to be. Yeah. I do like the green, lingering in heaven. Why is it all these rainbow colors, though? I thought it was supposed to be pink or blue. Like, here's the pink. Young lady.

And here's the blue. Young man. But what's all these other colors? Oh, nationality. Oh, what do you think? Red could refer to many things. Like what? Well, you can't say it out loud, but what's red?

Isn't red affiliated with Native Americans? Okay, but I don't know if you can just say that. I just did. That's all part of your thing. You've channeled it all. Yellow? Yellow is associated with Asian. What?

Maybe I'm having like a mixed breed kid. What is this? That's like Jiffy Pop. I don't know. Wait, so you're also having a silver kid. A little robot. Yeah. Wow.

This is a special. This is really confusing. We covered so much ground. Well, what we didn't cover my guy. Okay. And this happened last time you were here, we tried to connect with Mrs. Butterworths. Oh, let's try again.

We got time. We got time, but we tried to, and we were recording on a weekend. And so there was no one there at Mrs. Butterworth. All right, let's see if she's there. So we got a phone and asked, do you have any Mrs. Butterworth questions that you want to clear up?

Did she know Angela Lansbury? Whoa, or what if did she know Aunt Jemima? Oh. Find that out. Yeah, that's important. Let's see here. Is there a number? Yeah, the numbers right here.

Will she answer today? I hope so, because it's a work day. Okay, let's see. Yeah, we are calling on a weekend. Yeah, let's see. We can clear up some Mrs. Butterworth. I like this. Come on.

Yeah, give me some good spiritual Butterworth, Chee. Great creator. I believe I'm native. I have some native. I think you're, no, it's homeless, remember? Homeless. A ho. That's all real stuff.

Wait, it didn't go through. It was he tries again. I couldn't shake it. Okay, get to it. I'm trying. It's like your... Are they not answering? It just like went dead.

Your spirit thing happened and then it... Oh, here we go. Yata, for calling ConAgra Brands, makers of Mrs. Butterworth, there are currently... Zero. Caller is waiting ahead of you. Wow.

Press 1 for inquiries, press 2 to leave a message of praise for all other requests. Press 3. Please enter the 10-digit UPC code found there the barcode on the product packaging. Oh, God. Press pound is unknown. Oh. Please briefly describe in 30 seconds or less the nature of your call. We're trying to get information on Mrs. Butterworth, please.

Effort to assist our quality control team in any investigations we may ask for digital pictures. You can always reach us online at www. W.WW. Pictures. On our agrabbrands.com forward slash contact hyphen- God.

Big security. For by text to C-A-G to 1-800-280303-301. At contacting us, you are consenting to us calling you back of connection is disrupted. This call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance purposes. That's what we want.

Okay. If you remain on the line after your call, you will be able to participate in a three-question survey. Mm-hmm. I like. What song is this? This is Pink Floyd. Hello?

We appreciate your patience. Your call is important to us. She told us no one was ahead of us. Thank you for calling Connect, reverence. My name is Mukesh. How can I help you today? Could you say your name again? Is it Makash?

Yes, sir. It's Mukesh. Oh, that's an unusual name. Where are you from, Macach? I'm from South of India. Oh, what street? I'm sorry, sir, could you please repeat that? Yes, we have Mrs. Butterworth's syrup here

and was wondering, is Mrs. Butterworth's friends with Aunt Jemima at all? I'm sorry, is Mrs. Butterworth friends with? Please repeat that question, sir. Aunt Jemima. Is she friends or buddies? Does she play cards with Aunt Jemima? Does she know Dr. Pepper? Are these all connected?

Right. If you have any questions about the product, please let me know, sir. Yes, sir. Mrs. Butterworth's syrup. Do you have any, I can't believe it's not butterworth syrup. And is it sugar-free? You want to know if it's sugar-free, is there any sugar-free production of this brand?

Am I right, sir? Yes, that's also one of the questions. We're just wondering if she was affiliated with Ann Jemima products. Yes, thank you, Kaleesh. Is it Kaleesh? Was it Khali? The product name you just mentioned, sir. Mokache, sir.

It's Mokesh. Mokash with an Makhish. I'm sorry. Yes. Let me look into the information, sir, as well as your next question. Oh, thank you. You said if a plant is affiliated with. And Jemima products.

I wonder if they're under the same label. Yeah, like do they hang? Do they like hot tub together? Do they vacation? And were they? Was Mrs. Butterworth a real person? Did she invent this syrup? And that should be enough for us today.

I will definitely look into this. Can I please place your call on hold for two minutes so I can get information? Actually, this is embarrassing, but I'm steaming my feet right now. I have a peanut allergy and my ankles are swollen. So if it's possible to get an answer immediately, Kaffish, I would be appreciative. At least one of them, if you could. Thank you. Thank you so much.

My feet are killing me. Manesh is a beautiful name. It is. What does it mean, Manesh? Your name in Indian, is there another meaning like golden sunrise or a beautiful lotus or? Manash. No, sir. It's just a difference to an Indian god, that's it.

To a what? An Indian god Shiva. What's a conchiva? It's a reference to garden name, sir. Gardening. Gardening. I love that. Wow.

That's beautiful. Anish the gardener. My father did some garden. Yes, sir. I saw this information and there is sugar-free product in the Mrs. Buttersworth, sir. If you want, I will give you the barcode number of it and I'll help

you look at this product in your area. I love the barcode number, please. And also is Anjima product not related and then we're good. Right. I don't see any records of that information here so I don't think they're related in any way. So just for clarity,

the sugar-free is called, I can't believe it's not Mrs. Butterworth's. Is that the right title? No, sir. It's just Mrs. Minters-Butter's worth sugar-free. It can reach. That's it. Oh, butters. Right.

He said Butter's Worth. Is there an S after Butters? Mrs. I think it's a dash. Mrs. Butter-Dash-Wart. Okay. Mrs. Butter has a nice ass worth. And is there a Mr. Butterworth?

Because she is married. Well, it says Mrs. So that I don't have that information here. And if you want, I will help you look at this product near your zip code, sir. If you give me your zip code. Well, you are going to give us the barcode first. And since we're exchanging numbers, just for security reasons for Kirk and I, if we could get the barcode and then we'll happily give you the zip code after.

Yes, sir. The bar code is 4.4. 209. And if you think you're getting my... Was that a 9? 209? If you could say it again, please. 9.447.

It's a 10 digit number. I will repeat it. 10? I just heard four. Yeah. Give us the whole 10, please. I'll write them down. Thank you. 4.44209 to 9-047. I will repeat it one more time, sir. Thank you. I'm sorry.

4209 to 9-047. I'm sorry, my pen just ran out of ink at the end there. One more time, please. It's 44209 to 9-047. And if you think you're getting my zip code,

you can suck Aunt Jemima's left-ass cheek. And we're out. Okay, but... We're out. That's on them. Okay, let me tell you something. Yeah. The way you ended that. Yeah. A little aggressive. Yeah. I don't actually condone. Too bad. He was holding off on us. He didn't tell us about

Mr. Butterworth. True. He didn't tell us if she was parting with Aunt Jemima. I don't need Rahish, some gardener, some green thumb. Manette. Some naughty green thumb bullshitting us when we're trying to get info on this. And he was just, you're right. He was. just trying to move product. Elusive. Like, hey, man, how about some sugar-free? Mm-hmm. And then he made up, and noticed the barcode was a different number every time.

And now that I think about it, he wanted to put us on hold. Right. So he could go talk to his friends about us. Right. And I've got, you know, puffed up feet. People don't see it, but underneath this desk, my feet are soaking in lemon-onion water. That's crazy. Okay.

My work is done. Yeah. I thought it was a success. Yeah. Anything you need to know? Well, we know the gender, my kid. Okay. We got through the Mrs. Butterworths because last time it was a holiday.

And we have the green thumb. We got the floater. Before we go, my guy. Oh, God. Let me hit the theme music. Anything you want to plug? I don't know. The book.

The book is a hit. It's called Palmdale. Yeah. Barnes & Noble, Amazon. I'm also, you can see my face on a few. episodes of The Lowdown. Is that new? Yeah.

Wow. On FX, second season. Wow. Ethan Hawk, wonderful gentleman. Tommy Lee Jones plays his father. Wow. Sterling Harjo did the show. Betty Gilpin is on there.

Who's wonderful. Betty Crocker is a friend of Mrs. Butterworth. Yeah, so I'm just a part of it. Wow. I'm happy about that. Well, folks, Kirk Fox was here today on DeHalla highway parka that's right uh that's it for today okay go get your waffles and pancakes on until next time take care of your a news chicken chamein and i'll let you know when the kid gets here okay i love me you

love you you know me i love me selfish you said me hey everybody how would you like your very own personal video message from me, yours truly. It's your birthday, it's your anniversary, it's your graduation, or you just want me to make you laugh. You get to pick the topic, you want me to discuss, give me some talking points, and off we go. You can get it for yourself or get it for a friend. It's super easy and fun. Just go to the Cameo app on your phone or to Cameo.com. And I record a custom video made just for you.

you or your loved one. Your very own personalized Harland. Okay, gang, so kind of an unusual situation here at the end of the podcast. Apparently we're getting a call from, I mean, this is a bit odd. I've got to be honest. But apparently pop legend, 80s, 90s pop superstar. George Michael is calling it. in. I'm not sure I know what to say, but let's go ahead and get them on the line, and maybe he can tell us.

Hello, George Michael. Hello, Harlan. How are you, mate? Is this really you? Well, come on, mate. It's not like a bag of cheese or something, isn't it then? A bag of cheese? That's what I said, Harlan. A bag. of cheese. You like cheese, Arland. What kind of cheese? I don't know. Why don't we start with a cheese in your ass crack? I mean, what the hell are you interrogating me? I'm not asking about

cheese and suddenly it's like I'm on trial. No, you're not on trial. I just, there's a lot of different types of cheese. Well, listen, I, I don't, I, I, I ain't called you, you know, talk about cheese, for Christ's sake. What's the matter with you, mate? Well, why did you call? I mean, aren't you dead? Oh, that's a nice thing to say, eh? Isn't it? Look at this. I call. I made you, me first phone call in it, like, dead age, and look at this, asking if I'm dead. Well, listen, George, that they said that you died. I got tired of all the bright lights and all the cameras flashing all the time in my eyes, and all the attention and people

literally chasing me down this autograph. What they say? Can we have an autograph? What's that last word? Autograph. Autograph. When you get a piece of paper and you write your name. Oh, autograph.

What are you got? What are you an altar boy at the church? You're the priest-drizzled ass. No, I'm just... You're bruce. British accent is I'm having trouble with it a bit. Yeah, well, how about you have trouble with your wife's underpants? How about that, eh?

I don't have a wife. Now, what the hell's going on here? Look, Arlen, I'm just telling you, mate, I got tired of the limelight. If I get a bit emotional, you know, fame's not an easy beast to handle, Arlen. It's not easy. Not like you'll ever be famous and understand it. Hey, wait a minute. I've done my fair share. What, what you're done? A little movie, maybe a tamponk.

Maybe, you know, you were an extra in a Marvel movie or something. I'm not an extra and I didn't do a tampon commercial. Yeah, okay, winky, winky. We'll keep that between me and you then, a creamcicle. I'm not a creamcicle. What is going on? Oh, then I got tired of the limelight, mate, and I faked me own death. You faked your own death. Right, just like Jim Morrison from the doors. You know, they say Jim Morrison is still alive.

And maybe I hung out with them in Tahiti. I'm not going to say one way or the other. You hung out with Jim Morrison and Tahiti. I'm not going to say one way of the other. Did you not hear me? You rompum, compum, lompum, wampum, wampum. I don't even know what that means. And let's not forget Elvis, Elvis Presley, the kid.

King of Rot and Roll-Hall and he faked his own death, didn't he then? What do you mean? Everyone still says Elvis is alive, and maybe I, you know, spent some time on a beach with Elvis in Fiji. You were on a beach with Elvis in Fiji, and you were Jim Morrison in Tahiti. Hey, maybe I walk, and maybe I wouldn't. Who wants to know, Fungus Face? I'm not a fungus. What, why are you, where were you hiding? Well, I'm not going to tell you where I'm hiding, Arlen. I mean, he might as well look in your mother's underpants and look around for a bag of dingleberries then.

What is that got to do with anything? Look, Arlen, I told myself I would stay in hiding until something worthwhile come along that brought me out of hiding, right? So you're in hiding, you've faked your whole death, all your millions of fans have been mourning. Look, sometimes you've got to put yourself ahead of eyeing. other people, eh, all. And sometimes, you know, you go down to the pub and get a lime and lager, and you just want to sit in the corner by yourself, didn't it? Okay, okay. So you said you were waiting for some reason to come out of hiding. Yeah, that's right. And look it who did it for me. Elon Musk, eh?

Elon Musk. Right, Elon. And I think that's the short form of his name. What, Elon? Yeah, his full name is Elongated. What, elongated? Yes. What are you implying? Oh, I don't know. I'm just a little mysterious stranger sitting in the corner in the candlelight, dreaming about a weener.

What are you? Why did you come out of hiding? Well, Elon Musk said, he's got... have SpaceX. What? You heard me, Arland. The elongated must says he's going to start SpaceX. Space X.

Space X. Yeah, that's what I said. Spaceax. And I thought, you know, I've traveled the world. I've been on private jets. I've played my music and sang for kings and queens and princes, Ireland. I've been all over to every corner of the globe, even though the plan. the planet's round.

A. What do you mean A? A. I say A, and then you say A back, and then we move on. Okay, A. A. I said A. And so, you know, I'm thinking what's the one thing I've never bloody done? I've never had sex up in space.

I mean, I've done it in an outhouse. I've done it in a bunk bed. I've done it in a Swiss chalet, Ireland. I've done it in the backseat of a Volkswagen. beetle. I've done it in the Motel 6. I've done it in my sister's basement. I've done it behind

the dairy queen and the dumpster if you can believe that one. I got bit by a rat right on my purple ass tree, garland. I did it in the I don't want to hear all the places you've had sex. Well, look you getting all snappy and snowsly snuffalofugas.

I'm not snuffaloffigas. I don't think people need to hear about all your sexual exploits. Oh, looks like somebody might still be a virgin, eh, Arlen? Never taking your car through the car wash, eh, young fella? I have taken my car through the car wash. We're not talking about that. Oh, okay, okay. I see. Winky, winky, winky.

Stop saying winky, winky. Now tell me... About SpaceX? Space X. Oh, and like I said, mate, I've had sex. You name it. I've done it. I've done it. I've done it on the sidewalk. I've done it in an airplane, Arlen. I've done it inside of a Burger King restroom. I mean, you name it, the home of the Whopper, and I've been in it. Will you get on with it? But, Arlen, listen to me, I ain't never done no SpaceX. It's not, it's SpaceX.

Right. No, no, you're not. space sex right slow it down and spread it out what you mean the sex in space no the word space sex that's what I'm

saying all then what hell are you going on about then space sex look I don't know how many times we have to say this but you're exactly right and I thought I want to have sex out in space can you imagine Arlen, zero gravity with your little cinnamon buns umping up and down in the air.

No resistance. I'm imagining you could hump like a dirty Chihuahua in a park by the beach with a frisbee stuck in his hair. What are you? I'm talking about the ultimate sexual experience, Arlen, zero gravity, SpaceX. It's SpaceX. Exactly. I'm glad we finally agree. Listen, are you telling me you came all the way out of this seclusion, this hidden life,

you had the whole world fooled so you could get your rocks off in orbit? I don't know what his name is, but if you want to call him orbit, I can live with that. Is he Greek? Is who Greek? Orbit. What do you mean, orbit? Well, you said that. It says you're having sex in orbit. Orbit, yes.

Sounds like a Greek name to me. What do you mean a Greek name? Orbit. Orbit colostophy ofteners? Orbit is outer space. Okay, you don't have to yell at me. My God, I'm just trying to think of you. I'm picturing myself with my little cinnamon buns,

umping up and down in zero gravity. Maybe I've got a space helmet on my second head. You know what I mean, Arlen? What are you talking about? Well, listen, if you've got to be doing it out in space, You want to wear protection, right? Well, you should always wear protection. So if I'm going to be in orbit, or what's his name?

Orbit is not orbit. I want a little protection. So what if they put a little space helmet on the end of me meatloaf? They're not... Listen to me, George, Michael. They're not going to put a space helmet on the tip of your meatloaf, as you call it. Look at that. I got a little visor that comes down, and one pink.

guy looking out at the world just before it goes into orbit. You're not going into orbit with a space helmet with one eye. Oh, I'm not, am I? Well, try me, fudgesticle flake. Fudgstacle flake. You heard me all. Now, listen, I've come all the way out of hiding. When and where can I get on board to do my first SpaceX? I'm going to tell you for the last time, it's a company, okay? SpaceX is a company.

Hey, the more the merry. If I get lots of company, maybe I'm going to... Orbit's not the only one who gets bent over a space couch, eh? Orlin? You're not bending anyone over a space couch. You never know. Who decorates these spaceships? IKEA, maybe.

IKEA does not decorate spaceships. Maybe I bend orbit over a nug de flogged. How about that, eh? Yeah, well, you'll have to put it together. first. Oh, I'll put it together, Arlen. What is that? Well, that's me doing like a dirty noise with me tongue. Please don't do that. It's disgusting. What?

Stop it! God! Listen, Arlen, when does lift-off happen? Because I can't wait to do me SpaceX. You're not doing SpaceX. You're not going into Space-Sax. Space X is a company like Apple or McDonald's or IBM or BMW or... Or SpaceX, Harlem. I wonder what it sounds like up there. I with zero gravity.

I wonder if the moans and groans last longer like... Oh, uh... Stop those vile noises! And then me tongue, Arland, don't forget that. Stop it! Stop it! Remember that old one from the 80s, Holland? Remember what?

Remember the slogan for Alien. Alien, the movie? In space, no one can hear you scream. Oh, God. How about in space, no one can hear your moaning pleasure? Stop it! Stop it! cock off stop it what what is holy god what in somebody get on google somebody get on somebody call someone and see if

this guy's still alive i don't know what that was good god i need a shower i need a space shower god i feel dirty what a free george michael comes out of hiding to have space sex what is happening to this world good lord if you'd like to make a call hello george george is that you