The Harland Highway - KIRK FOX trying to find the fun in Funyuns! Dolphin attacks, and his new life in AI adult movies!

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

Pre-order WINGMAN now on Apple TV: https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/wingman/umc.cmc.nfzru25awp5jnendhudhjw9t This episode is sponsored by Hims, Mud/Wtr, Quince: -Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code HARLAND at mudwtr.com/HARLAND #mudwtrpod -To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/HARLAND - Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/harland for free shipping and 365-day returns. Thanks for watching the Harland Highway. More Harland Williams: Harland Highway Podcast Video: https://www.youtube.com/c/HarlandHighwayPodcast Harland Highway Podcast Audio: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-harland-highway/id321980603 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harlandwilliams Harbling Shirts: https://www.harbling.com Official Website: https://www.harlandwilliams.com Twitter :https://twitter.com/harlandhighway?lang=en #podcast #harlandwilliams More Kirk Fox: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirkfox/ X: https://x.com/kirkfox Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/foxkirk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, good news. My new comedy movie Wingman, May 26, finally coming out. You can head over to Harlan Williams.com to watch the trailer, and you can pre-order it on Apple. Just follow the link at my website to pre-order Wingman. You're going to have a good time. Lots of laughs. Appreciate your support. And go get it.

Wingman. All right, guys, here's my comedy. Days Off the Hook Comedy Club, Naples, Florida, April 30th through May 2nd, May 8th, Chicago, Illinois at the Park West Theater, May 9th, St. Paul, Minnesota at the Fitzgerald Theater, and May 15th, Tucson, Arizona at the Rialto Theater, and May 16th, Las Vegas, Nevada at the Palazzo Theater. Tickets at Harlan Williams.com. Let's go. Let's have some laughs. Chuckie Cheese. Don't even know what that meant, but let's go. That's science. I don't know. I'm not a gynecologist. I don't deliver babies.

I was. I did some freelance. Can I see your fingers? No. I just wanted to see if they were stained. From? Well, you said you were a gynecologist. But why would that stain them?

Well, have you ever seen smokers? If they smoke too much, their fingers turn yellow? And so these would be yellow as well? Well, if you're a serious gynaecologist, I would think there'd be some stanker. Are you a player or no? Now your voice changed a little. Does this mean we're on? It changed?

Can you be honest for just one second? That's going to be tough. I know. That's going to be real tough. I'm going to ask you as a friend. Okay. Are we rolling? Yes.

Okay. Now the reason I asked is so many times we've started in a hole. Yeah. Because I've gotten here and I was, I was loose and freewheeling. And then it dawned on me that, oh, we've been recording. Yeah. And I sometimes feel that it's a interrogation where I do not have equal footing. You feel a bit deceived. Yeah. And no one wants, no one wants to. Jesus was deceived. Was he? by one of his disciples. So deceived pushed you, that puts you up in the category of son of the Lord.

Pushed Jew? He was a Jew. Did you say push Jew? No, push is you into the same category as the Lord. He was deceived, you're deceived, you're very Jesus-like. You're even doing the cross. No, I was just trying to get to it. If Jesus had a frozen shoulder, I don't think he would have had to have been on the cross.

He would have been more like... Yeah. Well, now he looks like he has a frozen yogurt. That would have been someone I would pray to. Someone with a frozen yogurt? Yeah, like this thing... Yeah. But you've got to close your eyes if you're...

Is this Jesus? Yeah. I'm not religious. Well... But my frozen show... Is this going to keep it up? Well, I think you closed your eyes and it slid down by itself. I didn't do it.

Okay. But you can't keep it. See where mine is? Yeah? When you cover your gorgeous face, you're losing thousands of women viewers and now just the guys are watching it. How's this? A little to, what? Can I do it?

Since I'm a professional thought. And then you tilt that there. But now it went that way. Yeah, just straightened it up. There you go, guy. Yeah. Gorgeous. Gorgeous.

Okay. Frozen yogurt gorgeous. Oh, let's go back to. Yeah. Is it still there? Yeah. Perfect. Okay. So we were on Jesus.

If Jesus was crucified but only half, he was a half crew with a frozen yoga. No, this wouldn't even have been, this is my frozen shoulder. Okay, from when you fell. Yeah, so this would have been Jesus. And is that someone you'd pray to? Oh, yeah, I would. I'd pray to Jesus in any position. He could be in a yoga position, a Pilates position.

position. I don't want to say doggy. I'm not going there, but just about any position. I've been talking a lot about doggy style. Here we go. But we'll get to it if I need to. That looks like the movie poster from Shawshank Redemption, where Timothy Robbins is in the rain. You look like Shawshank, Jesus. Did he have extension? You're like Shawshank Jesus' redemption. Shawshanked. Was Jesus crucified or Shawshanked? Now that you've done that, I'm starting to wonder. I don't really know the difference. What is a Shawshank? What's a religion? Well, that's when you pray or worship or idolize a god or a figure. But is that real? It is. Have you ever heard of Buddha? Now, Buddha, I know, was real. Have you ever heard of

Shwarma? It's a food. Well, it's also a god to some. Okay, I don't know that, but I will tell you something about Buddha. He was a fat man. Yeah. Royalty. Yeah. Left his wife and child. And who's not going to worship that? And then went and sat by a tree and just talked about how happy he was. Right. And that I get. I have a wife and possibly a child. I think about it daily. Oh, okay. Of just walking away, finding a tree, sitting, and finally breathing it in. That's why everyone loved Buddha. He just was able to extricate himself. And he was so much more relaxed.

Whenever you see Jesus, it's this, which you're going to get tired holding your arms up, but Buddha's just here chuckling with his hands under his big fat Budweiser got. Yeah, because he was without family. He wasn't tethered. But Jesus, on the other hand, had a huge family. He had all of us. We were all his sons and daughters.

Jesus. So his family was way too much, no wonder. Jesus seemed tense. Yeah. One will be tense if one is nailed to a wooden cross. Now, was that the murder? The what? Nailing him, or was there more to it?

Is it murder if you nail someone and their time runs out over six or seven days? Yeah. Or does murder have to be more instantaneous? Is torture? murder? Is it legally classified? I'm not a lawyer. I am. It's, I've been to law. What kind of law? Well, murderology, homicide. Wow. If someone put you on a cross and you die there and they do nothing to save you, it's murder. Okay. So did someone kill Jesus? And you think Jesus was more than,

was he a person He was the A handyman He was a carpenter He was the son of God But he could also make a couch Or a dinette set Don't you think the son of God

Would have someone Make it for you That's what I think But hey If you got hands You don't see a lot of billionaires Kids doing the work Yeah

I know It's a Like if you have that kind of money, you hire someone that needs work and say, hey, could you throw together a couch? Yeah. So you're saying God exists? I'm saying if God, if Jesus came to me and said, I could turn your wine into water and your bread into fish,

I'd say, I've got groceries, make me a wall unit. And that's what he did. Well, if I was there, that's what I would have done. So Jesus showed up with goods. He had a tool belt. But he also, you're saying he made wine and things? Well, that was what they said. The Bible says he turned water into wine and bred into fish.

So I'm not a fan of the Bible. It seems like someone just wrote it. Somebody did. But just made it up. It seems like. You think it's a fable. Like verticals. They're not real.

What do you mean? What's a vertical? Those things on your phone that they shoot now. Oh, the little. Everything's got to be vertical. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus was vertical.

I wonder. Was he a vertical? I think he had vertigo, is what you're thinking. He didn't like heights, and that's why when they mounted him way up on that cross, it drove him not. Was he high up there? He was super high. So high cross, super cross.

Supercross. Like a motorcycle. Yeah. That's why they had him up on a hill. Moto super cross. Right at the pinnacle. Like if it was modern day and a super cross, the bikes would have gone, so they had them up there supercrossed them.

Who did that? Do you know about Jesus? Yeah. It was the Romans. The Romans crucified our Lord Savior, Son of the Holy Lamb, Savior, Lord, Jesus, Son of the Lord. So this all went down in Rome? Rome.

The Romans did it. Or the Italians. Romans are Italians, aren't they? I don't know. I think we should call out the Italians. It's so interesting. That you are a theologian. Yeah.

I love Theo Vaughn. I do know Theo. I am in a movie right now. Yeah, it feels like a movie. The Theo and David Spader in it. Oh, the bus boys. Whatever, I don't know the name. Yeah, you don't need to.

But there is, there will be a scene that I believe I'm in. One scene. That's all I wanted. Were you an extra? I would say it felt like it. Yeah. I kind of drive up in a truck. Extra.

And there's words exchange. Oh, so you have dialogue. There is words. How many words? Well, I think there were more than there is now. In the movie. Yeah, I think when we shot it, there was multiple words. But I've heard that there's not many left.

I got some bad news for you, guy. Okay. When they cut your words out. that means you were shit and they didn't want you in the movie. So they cut you down. I was under the impression that they cut your words when you're too good. Oh, that's true too. And they don't want you to steal the, yeah.

That's what happened. So steal the movie. Yeah. Oh, wow. But. And you're mad about that. Oh, I have no feeling. But you should be able to go on and steal the movie.

Look at you. But I should be mad? No. Not now. Now that you said it right. Yeah, I was just happy to be there. It was a long drive to Pomona. Oh, wow. And we filmed where I had filmed with Tom Segura a few years ago, bad thoughts. Oh, wow. So I was going to, I had it already in my ways. You had what? It knew how to get there, the location. Oh, really? I typed it in and they're like, you've been here. Wow. That's like when you go to the mall and you're looking at that thing, that map and it says, you are here. Did you hear that tape out there? Yeah. That was a little loud.

It was either someone pulling duct tape or was a fart. It could have been a fart. She's not... Pulling duct tape and farting is very similar. Is it? Yeah. Hey, Amber. Keep it down. Can you bring in the duct tape for a second, the roll? My first joke ever written

I'll give it back I heard you still need it I heard you doing tape out there and it threw me off Listen to this For all you people at home Listen close your eyes Is this a fart or duct tape

Could be both It's not finished Let's do a long one My first joke was Oh that's a stinger Listen to this Duck tape was originally called Abduction tape

Oh yeah because you could tape people to the wall. But they just weren't hitting the homeowners, mostly serial killers. So they changed the name to just duct tape instead of abduction tape. But that's okay. What do they call Kentucky Fried Chicken now?

Kentucky? No, KFC. Do they? I guess they could just say Kentucky. Does Kentucky still exist? The state? No. We're down to 50 states.

What'd we start with? Well, what happened is there was going to be this exchange with Greenland. So Trump got out over his skis. He gave Greenland to the Danish, or he gave Kentucky to the Danish, and then they reneged on giving us Greenland. Whoa, whoa, whoa, that was racist.

We don't use that word. Renegged? I use it all the time. You say the R-E-N word? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I say it only to white people, though.

I don't, you know, I don't support that word. I do. I say it all the time. What was it? Renegged. It's an airbrushed on my van. I have a white van. Renegg?

It's the renegmobile. Sounds. Yeah, I have a picture of fairies skipping around a mushroom. Fairies again, you're going into some uncharted territory. Yeah. So, Harlan. Yes. Kentucky exists.

Well, it does metaphorically, but it's no longer a state. It was... Was it ever a state? Kentucky? It was during the chicken years, the fried chicken. chicken years. The fried chicken put it on the map. It was just grazing land for Buffalo. And then Colonel Harlan Saunders came along and started whipping up chicken. So Kentucky fried their chicken. Right. KFC. I did not. They couldn't catch the buffalo. So they fried the chicken.

They made it a state for a while. But then when Kentucky fried chicken went on the fast food list and they really, they said it's bad for your heart, gone. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something as a friend. I didn't ever connect Kentucky with fried chicken. Well, it's right there on the word. I know. That's how crazy life is, that something can be in front of you, Kentucky fried chicken. I never knew it was the state. Have you ever had a Boston cream pie? I have, but now that you mention it, I... Guess where they're from? I do know now. You never hear Kentucky cream pie or Boston fried chicken.

You're kind of an educator. Thanks. So the name of the city, that's soothing to me. What? When you drink so daintily. Right? Yeah.

So Boston. I do that for the girls. They love to watch my epiglottis go up and down. Nothing wrong with that. It's erotic. It's eroticism. Andy Roddick. Go ahead.

Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yeah. Kentucky. Yeah. Boston cream pie from Boston. Boston. Devil's food cake, straight from hell. Hell?

Yeah. There's another one, angel food from heaven. Yeah. And what was the other one, Philly Steak Sandwich? Right? Oddly enough from Cleveland. Okay. Yeah, the guy failed geography who created those.

He was an idiot. So Philly Steed. So he made his sandwich and gave it the wrong location, the idiot. I thought it was invented by the actor, Bradley Cooper. Has a Philly steak. No. He's got a van. He drives around.

And people, he works it. Look. In between jobs, I know that Bradley Cooper has a lunch wagon. Oh, I've heard of that. Yeah, what's it called? Philly. Philly, my Billy, my belly. Oh, what's it?

I would recommend if you're going to whip up a food and give it a name, Google Earth that while you're cooking. Google Earth. Like if I made a. Bradley steak. Philadelphia Steak Sandwich by Bradley Cooper. Oh, he's sort of commandeering the Philly Cheese Steak. But he's from there. Why can't? Why can't he?

Why can't he? Why can't he? Why can't he? It's too egotistical. It's too self-centered. I'll let a city take a name, but not an actor. I'm not going to Louisiana and ordering a Christopher Walkin' chili dog. I would eat that. That's you.

A walking dog. Yeah, Brad Cooper was a chef before he was an actor. I saw it on the actor's studio. He asked some questions of Champagne and Bobby De Niro. So he was in school working at restaurants. As a chef. As a chef. So the Philly steak, that's why he's got a lunch van.

Huh. Go to New York. He's always there driving around. How peculiar. That's probably what makes him a good actor. Oh, speaking of food. Okay. Uh, my guy, my guy, my guy.

So we're on. What? We're recording. Yeah, we're recording. Hey, gang, this time of year always makes me think what's in my closet. I'm trying to keep fewer things, but keep the better things. Pieces that are well made, easy to wear all the time. That's why I keep coming back to cool.

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Go to quince.com slash Harland for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Harland for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash harland. Garland, get floating like a cloud. Speaking of foods, I got into some of these the other day. Funions. Minnesota baked funions.

I just made that part up. So is this what has happened? What? Are they paying you to do this? No. but I have a concern because I don't... Because I will charge more money if you're making more than I thought you were. No.

I'm concerned because I don't know what a funnion is. And on the back, they have a thing that says questions or comments and a phone number. Well, I'd like to know if they're... Are they fun? That's what I think we... Can we call them? Would you mind? I would like you to call them because so far... Yeah.

that much fun to me. I know. I pulled them out and I don't feel any different. It's not like I'm having more fun all of a sudden. It's a pretty ballsy title. Yeah, funions. Funion. Like you've probably had fun bags before, which are a lot of fun. I do like fun bags. Yeah. Do you think Jesus liked funions? Well, he invented them. He should. Jesus, God made everything. No, that was the father. Oh. The father of the son and the holy ghost. The father of the son and the holy funnion. Are you calling them right now?

Welcome to Friedelay, consumer relations. All calls will be recorded for quality and training. Good. It better be recorded. Where to buy inquiries, please press one. Please press two. For all other inquiries, please press three. This is important. Whoever answers better be a lot of fun.

Yeah, they better be. Hello? Thank you for calling Texaco. This is May when I'm speaking today. Hi, this is Lumpy.

How are you? Good. I have a bag of funnions in front of me. I want to know how much fun they are and when does the fun start? Kirk?

Well, I'm actually his attorney. It says funnions and we're just wondering is there something inside of there that's fun besides the yins? I guess the flavor, the crunch, I'm not sure.

The crunch is fun? Open them up and let's see. Can we just test that out real quick, ma'am? The flavor is fun? The crunch. You said the crunch was fun, ma'am? But do you work for the company? Can I crunch one?

We're going to try one and just check the fun? I'm going to crunch one right now, man. Does that Wow This is fun Okay, so they are fun for him Wait, she's having fun too

So you're having fun for It's a fun for all Dude, it worked, have one, have some fun I don't want to have fun I'm going through a tough period of my life Well, shouldn't that be the You ain't fun, yeah, you definitely

fun. All right, I'm gonna, I'm against it. Crunch it into the thing. Now, I grabbed a full one. I grabbed one that looks like a smiley face.

So I'm going to try this and just see if it's any fun. Okay. That is fun. This is a good title. I mean, I'm going to have one more fun because it's just too fun. I was depressed. Can I be honest with you, ma'am?

Of course. I was depressed, and about half an hour ago, I was going to jump off a roof, but not anymore. I'm having too much fun. Those are good. So you change your mind, and I... If you eat too many funnions, is it no longer fun? I'm sorry? If you eat too many funions, can you lose the fun?

I think that, yeah, they're definitely always fun, at least for me. Like, I am a chipped fanatic. It never tends to get boring for me. So you've had funnions? She's having fun right now. Yes, I love them. Okay, this is good to know. Can I say in closing, ma'am, can I say in closing,

thank you for talking me off the ledge. I was going to jump 43 stories, but not anymore. I'm having too much funnion. Well, I love that, and I really appreciate that, and I hope everything works out. Of course, if you would like to call us back, with any proud of questions are contained or any cravings, please feel free.

And I hope you guys You were great. And if he were to have jumped holding the bag, I feel they would have saved him on impact. Amen. I love that. Amen. Amen. Have fun.

Bye, Jan. Bye, you too. Bye, bye. Bye, Jan. She said we could call her back. We might in a little bit, but I have to tell you Yeah. She was fun. And you were laughing.

You were like a sour puss. And then you put one of these in your mouth and you were giggling like a little Chinese schoolboy. I did not want to try a funnion. Yeah. Because I'm against processed food. But how do you stop fun? Wow. For the show, I did it.

And I'm going to live. I was literally on top of a Burger King. with a whopper in one hand and ready to go. Are there other foods that are that much fun? Not that, I mean, you show me a food that can save you from killing yourself, and I'll buy you a Dutch steamer and stuff it down your sister's face. That's not bad. I think that I'm better for having gone through that.

Yeah. Are you okay? Well, I'm now choking, so. You're allergic to funnions, and now you're going to die yuns. I don't feel that there is fun now. Yeah. I got caught up in the moment. You got caught up in the funforia.

What was her name? Funny? No. Phoenician. Phoenician. I think she was blind. Was she a Phoenician blind? Was she blind?

I think she was. She seemed happy to be talking to anybody. Yeah, she seemed full of funyon. I have to wonder how many calls she gets, a day. I don't know, but I'm wondering if I call the suicide hotline prevention line, if she's going to answer there too. And say, having fun? Well, I'll just, I mean, people die about to off themselves. She offers them fun. If you call that number and she answers, you're just calling her, that's her cell phone. Yeah. Wow. And she works for PepsiCo, she said.

Well, that's the, that's, she didn't even know the Taco Bell. was under the PepsiCo umbrella. I know. I think you went off brand and she specializes in funions. And you took her, it's like if you went into Kmart and someone was working in the men's apparel

and you said, hey, can you help me with hardware? They'd be like, I just do men's apparel. You took her out of her lane, which almost is probably going to make her feel suicidal. She might want to jump tonight. Hopefully she's got a bag of funnions at home. You've been bringing up suicide a lot. Yeah.

They'll probably beep it out because for some reason the internet is against that word. No. But I will tell you something. This is prevention. I'll tell you something. Yeah, suicide hotline is a positive. That's a fun line. Yeah.

But here's something that I learned. What? Suicide is against the law. That's right. And I thought, what's the sentence? Life? Right. That's impossible.

That's... And can you imagine the horror of laying splattered on a sidewalk and a cop walks up, writes you a ticket and sticks it to your dead forehead? Or put you in handcuffs after you've tried to cut your wrist. Yeah. And you say, hey, officer, I'm having kind of a bad day, maybe go easy on the...

Like wrists. On the cuffs. Or tighten the cuffs and maybe. cuts off the circulation and he saves your life. Or finishes you? Well, no, if you close the arteries. Man, that is a real... This is science.

This is funnian science. But it's also strangulation. A tourniquet works to stop the bleeding, but it can also go reverse. Yeah. Turnickets can go. Is there a Ternicot hotline? Probably.

This is, do you dare call suicide hotline and ask if they have funnion? Or is that just... I feel so good. I'm so full of laughs and so full of life. After the funyon experience, I just, I don't need to go there. Okay. If I'm ever...

Part of me thought you were going to go there. No. And I thought to myself, how awful would that be? If you were talking to someone at the suicide hotline about funnions, and someone was calling in to kill themselves? and couldn't get through because you were talking about funions. Well, here's the thing. The people at the suicide prevention center aren't trained to handle fun.

And if I dial up giggling and laughing and all full of funion juice, they're not trained for that. They're trained for people on ledges, people with shotguns to their throats, people with the razor. How are you going to dial a suicide hotline? First of all, with a gun in your mouth. I think it's a call. Yeah.

And if you're up on the top of a building, it's windy up there. Cell phones. It's like... Bad service. Pardon me, sir? What? What? What if they say, you know, call back when you're on the ground?

Yeah. And you can't because you don't have a face. Or you call when you're in the air. You can call it, but that's even windier. Suicide's bad. Suicide's no fun. Yeah, it's not like a crunchy. Can we talk about life?

I'd like to. I found this the other day on the ground, little guy. And how are we doing on time? Everything cool? We're doing great. Okay. Do you see this? This is life.

I found a birdie, birdie eggy. A bird's... A birdie egg. Now, your vocal pattern became childlike? Yeah, because it's life. It's the beginning. of like me find birdie eggy me like birdie

eggy what would you like to know about this baby have you ever found birdie eggy of course what happened do you want to touch it I don't need to well that's the beginning of life I'm still recovering from the funyon why don't you call

here's a phone call oh god can you call a zoo and say you found an egg a birdie eggy and then they'll say something in it and you'll say no and they'll say Okay, then we can't help you. I could, but my battery ran out.

Okay. So what kind of bird was that? This was an ostrich. No, this was... Where'd you find it? That'll tell you. I found it outside in my yard. And it's the big...

Is there a nest around? There's got to be a nest. It probably fell out of a nest. It's a birdie eggy. You like birdie eggy? Well, I like what it represents. I liked it life But it also could be

That someone ate the bird out of there Yeah, it looks like something made it Have you been to the grocery store And when we go and get eggs They got regular eggs Small eggs Large eggs Extra large

Double large What the hell's in these eggs? What's next an ostrich egg? A blue herni egg? A pterodactyl egg? Why are they making the eggs so big And how sore the chickens Arseholes that are laying

them. Are they all coming from a chicken? That's something you're going to have to ask. Okay. I think each egg, some have chocolate in there. Some have surprises and things like cracker jacks. Not all eggs are just filled with life. I know, but what I'm trying to ask you, because you know a lot.

Like, does it hurt? No, like, why do we have to keep getting these bigger eggs? Like, how big do you want your egg sandwich? We're not asking for this. This is nature. I know, but when I was a kid, you just got an egg. But who are these people that need sizes of eggs? Man, it's the world we live in.

No one's just happy with an egg. Is it that much bigger when you buy a triple X egg? I mean, come on. It's more egg. Okay. Instead of five eggs for an omit, you can have one big egg. Okay. It's about transportation.

Well, I'm also... Is it AI? I want to talk about that in a minute, but I want to finish this egg conversation. Why don't humans have eggs? Why don't we lay eggs? Don't we? No.

Women have like eggs in them that get inseminate, but why don't women just lay an egg? I thought they did. Oh, no. No, no, no. So women do have eggs. They have eggs that are microscopic in their overall. and their uterite.

I had someone that tried to freeze my sperm for a long time. How'd you get out of the freezer? Well, every time she went to the freezer, I said, what was she doing? And she was getting ice, and I was always fighting to know what it was for. Yeah. But I always decided that if she wanted my sperm, she didn't have to freeze it. could take it the way God intended. Oh yeah, just room temperature.

Right on the tits. Oh, wow, guy. That's what I say. Wow, that sounds like a whole lot of funions right there. A whole lot of funnions. And she would get mad when I wouldn't give her the sperm ever. You'd hold back? Of course.

Why? Because if you see my sperm, always know that I'm about two feet behind it napping. Okay, Jen. Has something been off in the bedroom lately? Is it you? I don't know. Just know you're not the only one. A lot of guys wait longer than they need to take action. The difference now, getting real treatment is simple and through HIMS, it's 100% online. HIMS connects you with licensed healthcare providers online, giving you simple access to legitimate EDD. treatment options from home. No awkward appointments, no greasy pharmacy lines. To get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit Hymns.com slash Harlan. That's Hymns.com slash Harlan for your free online visit, Hymns.com slash Harlan. Prescriptions required. See website for details and important safety

information. Selindafil is a genetic version of Viagra. Viagra is not a registered trademark of Viatrius specialty LLC. Hymns is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatras. So there you go, guys. Get it rocket and rolling in the old saccharony hymns. I don't understand that. If you see sperm, we're near it but asleep. Wait. She said my sperm was getting older, dumber, weaker, and I didn't know if she was talking about me or my sperm.

It seemed personal. It's very complicated. I don't, it lost me. I don't even know what you're saying. You're having a sperm talk with me, and I feel like a sperm idiot. No. If that's even a word.

I feel sperm literate. She was half my age and wanted my sperm to maybe have baby later because she felt my sperm was getting dumber, weaker, lazier. Oh, as you were getting older. My sperm was getting, and I always told her, if my, if my sperm is too dumb for your eggs, yeah, I'm too dumb for the rest of you. We're a package deal. My sperm and I go everywhere together. Love this. And that's like I said to you, we go everywhere. If you see my sperm,

always know that I'm in the vicinity napping. Now I get it. Yeah, she was trying to separate me from my sperm. Your initial long-winded disjointed sperm story. Yeah. Was very discombobulated and I couldn't track it. But now it makes more sense. Yeah.

And sperm- Thank you for articulating. Okay, I'm sorry. Thank you for sperm-ticulating. And sperm is a warm-weather critter. It is? Oh, it likes the warm. How do Eskimos have kids?

They don't. What are they? Eggs. They just have eggs with mucklucks. Yes. Holy God. And I believe Eskimo is that a word? Yes.

Okay. I meant to say sperm Eskimo. Eskimo's... What do you mean? Is it a word? You've never heard of an Eskimo? Bipolar. That's a bear that goes both ways.

I thought it was an Eskimo. No, that's a big white bear that goes both ways. Okay. That's why. because it's from the polar caps. Right. Okay. Now,

can I just say the last thing about sperm? Please say the first thing. Because freezing our sperm, it's the worst thing you can do to sperm. Well, forget the sperm. What about me standing around with my nuts in a fridge door? That's like if we are on our way to Hawaii and you drop us on Everest. Yeah.

That's what freezing sperm is like. So don't do it. Yeah. Frozen sperm. It's not good. It's like a pop tart. And that was just because we were talking about eggs and women's eggs. Well, I think women should have an egg because, you know, they go through nine months of this laborious pregnancy. Wouldn't it be better if they just got inseminated? And then they went for a dip in the ocean at, you know, full moon, swam up on a beach with their back legs, did a little kick and it dug a little hole. dropped out some eggs, went back, you know, nine months later,

plan another vacation to Fiji or Hawaii. Now that gets expensive. They do it locally. Yeah, but what's more expensive? That or an epidural? Those things cost- Santa Monica when the Grunion run?

Funyon what? So should the women. Yeah, like any beach. Just lay down, get the flappers gone. But they do that anyway, but they're doing it. They do that now, women, but they're doing it at cedars or hospitals.

Aren't women flapping when they're giving birth to a child? It depends if they're whistlers. Whistlers? Yeah. Now, I don't know if you know this, but. Women whistle? If they hold their breath long enough, it whistles. And what's whistling is the Venn, the Vigink Canal?

That's right. I don't have a wife or children, but what I do is I go into the hospitals, and when everyone's standing around watching a birth, I'll just slip in the room. It's like a wedding crasher. I'm a placenta crasher. I have a child, and I have no idea how it really arrived.

Oh, boy. Or was even created. I went into one birth, I snuck in. I think it was the one time that I didn't finish on the Tatox, We were talking about root temperature. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A sperm may have fallen inside? Inside, yeah.

I snuck into one of the baby births, and this woman breathed in so deep. I guess, you know, there's a lot of heavy breathing going on. I don't know about any of them. So she did one of these. She was like, she breathed, and the doctor said breathed. She was like, and I'm not kidding. Down at the other end, this is what I heard was like,

and the kid flew out. So the whistle. She was whistling. So she breathed in. Yeah. And the exhale was through the vagina. That's science. I don't know.

I'm not a gynecologist. I don't deliver babies. I was. I did some freelance. Can I see your fingers? No. They're full of funions. I just wanted to see if they were stained.

From? Well, you said you were a gynaecologist. But why would that stain them? Well, have you ever seen smokers? If they smoke too much, their fingers turn yellow? And so these would be yellow as well? Well, if you're a serious gynecologist, I would think there'd be some staining. I wasn't that serious.

Okay. I do minor operations. Okay. It's kind of like I check. And if it's a woman, I back off a little. Okay. Just, I don't want to be too close to any of the apparatus. Now that I hear about the whistler.

You didn't know about the whistling? You didn't watch your kid come out? I kind of, I watched it go in. You watched the kid go in. Yes. Oh, wow. So you videotaped it. I just watched carefully.

Yeah. And I think I knew when, oh, this is a mistake. So are you saying your kid came out, saw you, and ran back into the barrister? No, no, no. When the child was created, I watched when it was built. Wow. When the construction began of the child, I believe I was watching. I pictured when you said it went back in, I pictured you standing there at 6'4.

6.5. 6.5. Between your wife's legs, your baby comes out, pops out, sees you, grabs its umbilical court, and pulls itself right back in. And then what? It just, it's in the safety zone. It doesn't have to see you. And then comes back out when I leave? Yeah, I would. So is that similar to a potato bug?

It's more like Batman, just crawling right back up. The potato bug can be extended and then they roll into a ball. Oh, the little pill bugs? Yes. I don't know. How many legs did your kid have? I haven't even started to count. Then it's probably a potato bug.

More than two? Oh, there seems to be more. Yeah, it's either a potato bug or a millipede. How long is your kid? She's almost eight. Eight feet? Yeah, that's probably a centipede. Eight years.

Oh, I'm sorry. I think of her length is time. Yeah. Do kids age in human years or dog years? I didn't know that there was an option. My child does not seem to be aging. Oh, wow. She just neutralized, like hit a spot and stop.

She seems to be where she's been for a few years. Have you checked for mold? I don't check much. Did you say mold? Yes. Well, if she's just sitting around, around like you got to figure there's going to be some mole. I thought you said mole.

No, mole. Like Cindy Crawford. Oh, do you like moles on a woman? Like hers is sexy. Who's? Crawfords. Is it? To me it is.

But you get those ones where whiskers come out and they look like a catfish? Yeah, those are. That's trouble for me. Those aren't important. Yeah. And plus they can feel around for you in the sheets at night when, you know, when you try to roll away from your partner? How's our noodle movie?

We don't talk about it. that yet. Easy Sinbad to sailor. Sailing noodle. Someday we'll have noodles. Someday we'll talk about our movie. Me and him have a movie brewing, but we can't talk about it yet. But there's noodles involved, which is food. It's food, yeah. That's all we'll give them. Now speaking of movies, and I promised you I'd circle back to this, my guy. You mentioned AI. Now there is a new movie out. I got to look it up. Okay. AI is crazy. You don't like it? No, I love it.

I know it's here. I'm trying to make friends with it. Yes. It's too good. There's a new movie. They just released the trailer as deep as the grave with guess who? You. Val Kilner.

Okay. And then there's another one. With who? Someone else, but it's all AI and they exist. They shot it in a little room, but they go all over the world in this movie. Right. And they spent 70 million on it instead of, I guess, 300 million. 70 seems a lot. Yeah, for AI. I think I've seen guys that can do stuff in their basement for free.

I know. So 70 sounds like someone was getting scammed. Yeah, by AI. But I like the fact, like there's people that are outraged and how dare you bring Val Kilner back and what a, what a disgrace to his lineage and this and that. But how great is it that he's still working? He's still working. And think of this, he was a beautiful specimen. He was a handsomely. He was a hands. handsome sexy guy. The last movie I saw him in was Top Gun. God bless him. I love him. He was suffering from a horrible ailment, I think throat cancer. They put him in the movie. It was sentimental. It was beautiful. But he was a crippled, dying human, which is part of life, but it was tough to see. Yes. And if you can bring that guy back, and he's given his consent before he passed away,

as a young, vibrant, sexy Val Kilner. I love it. I don't see anything wrong with it. I watched the trailer. I was happy to see them. I'd like to be AI personally. Yeah. You can do whatever you need.

If I can stay home and be in a movie, yeah. And go to the movie and say, I didn't even remember being on top of that pyramid. Yeah. You could brag about it. I saw you on a pyramid the other day.

You can be like, yeah, I guess so. Whatever. I was vacancy. But thanks. Yeah. I give, I'd like to, do you sign up? How do you get paid to become AI?

You, I think that's, we're in a unique club, whereas actors, there will be a calling for guys, comedians, entertainers, singers that people already recognize to live in perpetuity. Now, perpetuity is a word. Yeah. It means forever. It keeps going. Perpetuity. So even when you're dead, you're still perpetuating.

You're still propieting. And the key, isn't everyone in life trying to look for eternity? I don't. The fountain of youth to live forever? No, I'm looking for ways out. Do you need some funnions? I had the funnion, which will keep me around. For a bet.

I have some funnions. fantasies of just walking out. Well, yeah, you will walk out, but what if your image... I'm talking about now, like tomorrow I'm going to Tulsa. Yeah. To work on a television extravaganza. Okay. I'd like to stay there.

But what if... But I have a family here. Yeah, but what if your family profits, your young daughter profits from you... I do not care. Continuing to get her a paycheck when you live in perpetuate. as an actor. If she was nicer. Yeah.

Maybe. Okay. So you don't want to be AI. I do, but I don't want the money going to her. Right. Okay. She's just currently combative. You are combative.

No, she is. She is. Everything's a battle. Well, let her go. I have. Let her run. I say, I'm going to Tulsa tomorrow for a major television extravaganza. She's like,

Good riddins. Let me pay for your ticket. Good ridden. Pay for... She can't. She doesn't have any money. But, dude, my point is that most people want to live forever. And if you can live forever through AI, isn't that a way to beat death in a sense? Like, would you... I would love a movie of me to come back in 10 years after I'm gone. I think it would be great. and for those of you that say you can't be moved by an AI movie or something that's not real

have you seen Toy Story have you seen the Polar Express and you cried you laughed you enjoyed the beauty is the afterlife yeah I would not mind going to the afterlife and watching a movie that I'm in

yeah I was like hey man they shot this after I was dead yeah then it's cool I think it's cool. I want to see it. And for the people on TikTok and social media who have these diatribes about how bad it is

and how it's not real and you're sucking the creative soul, well, that's a great little conversation that you posted. Wait, you can suck off the creative soul. Yeah, and that's a great little conversation that you have. Yeah, sucking off the soul.

Yeah, but it's not better than someone watching a two-hour movie later on, like, In Eastwood's back. Bruce Willis is back. Are they gone yet? Yeah. Well, not Bruce Willis.

But he's gone mentally. How's Clint? Clint just turned a hundred. No. Yeah. A hundred years old. Isn't that great? That's my dad.

Huh? That's my father. He's a hundred? Where is he, your dad? We never talked about. Carmel, that's Clint. I married his daughter. Oh, Clint's your dad.

Yes. Oh, I thought you. You meant your dad. No, my dad made his exit long ago. You think of Clint as your dad. Of course. I married his daughter for that reason. You did?

I was married to Allison. You were? Someone had to be. When was this? I believe in 2000, we got married in Vegas at an Elvis chapel. Clint Eastwood's daughter? Yes. Clint was my father-in-law.

No, he were. Google it. For real? Why don't you just ask your phone? All right. Let me look here. This is exciting. So yeah, Clint's 100.

Yeah. Just look up Allison Eastwood's first husband. Wow. We got married in Vegas. What? Because I wanted Clint to be my dad. I thought she still lived at home. I remember the first time we had breakfast.

I said, aren't we going to wait for Clint? And she says, do you think I live with my dad? and I said, yes, that's one of the reasons I married you. Yeah. But it turns out she did not live with Clint anymore. I would have married her just when she started doing domestic housework. I could have gone, go ahead, make my bed. Yeah.

Make it clean. Yeah. Dust me. Yeah. I was golfing with Clint, and I often say this because he said, if you really wanted to golf with me this bad, all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to marry. You didn't have to marry Lamb Chop.

How long did it last? Well, I joke and say three movies, but he never put me in one. It did not last long. On the flight home, she said, I don't want to live with you, and I still want to date other people. That was right after we got married. After the marriage. At one point, she said, I only married you because you reminded me of Clint. So she had daddy issues.

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So how long did it last? Well, I thought it was going to get annulled immediately. Yeah. But I think there was six months. I think it took six months. Wow. And it just ended. You just ended it.

Well, I miss him. So you met him? Of course. We're friends. He loves me. Was he at the wedding? The wedding was at an Elvis chapel. A black Elvis married us.

I think our limo driver was the witness. Wow, so there was a murder? There should have been. Yeah, there should have. But yeah. But she's a great girl. I think you just don't marry someone because their father is your favorite actor.

Yeah. What do you got there? Look at this guy. is that Clint who's that is that you that's me a i bro if you don't think i want to live

forever look at me i'm flying i'm on a motorcycle i'm a cowboy i don't know how to play a banjo but here i am wait you're also an angel yeah and you graduated yeah stuff i never did in life can you play the banjo no i just said

so how did that happen And this is from a year and a half ago, so it's only going to get better. And so are you. You'll be better at the banjo. I know, but look at this. And who doesn't want to live on an A-I? Yeah, well, there you go. That just won you over.

Now, what about AI pornography? Okay. Does this exist? You could have a clause in your licensing, because we're going to license our likeness. And in the clause you demand to be in porn. You could say I want to be in porn. Like, how about a movie I got them right here? Kirk Fox, pool boy pajama party.

And is that shooting yet? No, but that'll be when you're dead. How about this? Kirk Fox, lesbian in a Lamborghini. Okay. You could be a lesbian. Can I get the car now? No, it's AI.

It's not till you die. You might want to jump off a roof unless you want some funions. Is there any way I can be an AI alive? Listen to this. Kirk Fox, and you'll love this one, Kirk Fox, edge your semester, you're a professor in an all-girls school. Did you say edger? Edger, which you love. Edger semester? Edgar semester. Kirk Fox, that's one of your porno movies. But tell me that you made that up. I did. It's right here. I'm way ahead of you on the porno stuff. But it said edge your semester? Edger semester. I want to shoot that. I know, but you can't till you die and you just had fun. so you're happy, so you just delayed your own death and you just delayed the release of edger semester.

As an edger, that title almost tipped me over the edge. Because as an edger, I'm always close. I know. But now that could defeat the purpose of edging. Say it again. Picture it. And we're going to have Amber make the porno box. Ladies and gentlemen, coming to Triple X.D. this summer. And coming soon, that's not the title? Coming all the time. Coming all over the place. I love it. I love it. Coming on. Okay, coming on to talks. Folks, come in this fall see Kirk Fox in Edger Semester. The professor is back, school is open, and the students are lining up for Edger Semester. Okay. So I have to,

I have to protect this. Now, is this something I pay for? I mean, how do I... Am I in the school also? I know you say it's AI. Right. Can I be there watching? Yes, you can do whatever you want.

You just saw me flying as an angel and then in the next shot playing the banjo. Okay, so I can... You can be having sex and then licking a chalkboard. Do I have to be dead to make this movie? Yes, it's AI. Why? You're not dead and you just looked at...

you doing some great stuff. Because I want you dead. I mean, no, no. Okay, you can do it while you're alive. Sorry. You just turned into like a chicken right there. I've never seen. You're like a squirrel running across the road.

You're like. But at your semester, that seems like a movie I'd like to be a part of. So you didn't like lesbian Lamborghini or pool boy pajama party? No, a pool boy pajama party did not do it for me. Well, we're making the poster, regardless.

You don't have a choice. It's AI. We're making all three of those. Are these already in production? Amber's going to make them. Amber! Amber! Get in here.

Edger semester? At what school? Ask Amber. Why are you laughing? Ask Amber. Are you familiar with Edger semester? That's one of the porno boxes you're going to make. Remember I told you?

Kirk Fox is the professor. Yeah. Edger semester. I teach edging to 20 to 22-year-old. Whatever you want. Can even be guys. I don't know. It's an all-girl school.

What's the school called is what he wants to know? Northridge, where the earthquake happened. Wow. Wow. I got to be honest with you, Northridge feels right. Feels right. Thank you, Amber. She nailed it.

And she's going to nail the posters, the boxes. Edge your semester. Your favorite. I knew you, I knew I could bring you into AI. I do like it because Steve, Steve Carell has a new TV show, I believe, where he's a professor up in Boston. And if I can come up with a show where I'm kind of like him, but an edger? Yeah. Edger semester.

You're welcome. Welcome to porno life. Yeah, but AI porn. Yeah. And do I pick who's in, in? class. You can do whatever you want. It's AI.

You could have sex with an angel playing banjo on a motorcycle if you want, but not me. But that's you. But that's you. I don't want to. I don't know. I just don't know that AI porn exists yet. Welcome to the forefront of perversion. Welcome to Edge your semester.

Yeah. Class is in. Okay. Class is in. You're late, Beatrice. Bring your homework up here. You might want to say candy or tricksy. Beatrice is not really a porn.

You don't really see Beatrice in a porn movie. You should. A.I. Beatrice is hot. I know, but now I'm seeing a fatty with a cake in her hand and pimple. Beatrice? When you're edging. In a porno movie? Nothing's fat when you're edging.

What about Cindy or Bambi or Crystal? Beatrice. Ethel. Beatrice. Marjorie. Marjorie. That's my mom's name. Marjorie. I'll bring back my mom.

I hate to say, it's a great name for a housewife, but in a porno? You never see, hey, Margie or Beatrice. Certain words. Is Ethel waiting to come in the door? I'd like that. Where's Grunzelda? Oh. Hey, Grunzelda, get in here and edge me.

As an edge or you're pushing me too close. Oh, God. So now you're in. Oh, I've been in, but now that I know at your semester, is in production at Northridge. You're happy. And I didn't even need a funion to get you there. Oh, I had a bite. Remember that bite I had earlier? I'm going to take a bite and call our friend back. And I want to see, I want to see, you asked me to call the suicide prevention. No, call her. I'm going to call her and see if she can talk me off the ledge. Okay. Yeah. But also mention my movie.

Ed your semester. I will. I will. Okay. Let me get the funnions. This is going to be a delicate call. And then I'll leave, you know. We got about 10 minutes. Yeah. I have Pilates. This is going to be a delicate call.

Hang on. Funions, man. She said to call back about any time, about anything. Do not bring up cock rings. No. Because the funnion does resemble a cock ring. We could put that in at your semester. You could put a funnion on your thing.

and have a clock ring Fun ring Here we go Funion Go rate to 3 I know the drill I know the drill Can it be

Hi Lynn it's Lungo I'm good but I'm feeling a little depressed and I was sort of feeling like I didn't want to go on and I wondered if I ate a funion if it would make me feel fun again Well, is there any words of encouragement you could give me so I don't jump off the ledge? And what's in the funnion? Are they toys or are they food?

Food. Should I eat one to pull me back from the precipice? If you like them. Okay, here I go. Hang on. I'm standing on the edge looking down about 14 floors. Please try it. Should I eat one? Yeah, try it.

Okay. It looks fun from where I'm standing. I feel better. Should I jump or should I stay? Oh, fun, you. Okay. Thank you, Beatrice. Thank you, Beatrice.

You saved his life. Oh, Beatrice. Do you believe in AI? There's a movie coming soon called Edger's Semester, and you should keep your eyes open. We filmed in Northridge and we used funions as a sponsor.

Thank you so much. Okay, thank you. Beatrice, maybe you should have a funnion. Yeah, you might need a whole bag. Maybe. You might need like a hole. Maybe, uh... Thank you.

Maybe what? You're welcome. Maybe I should have one. Yeah, a whole truckload. You might. might have access to Funions. Do you have a bag there? No, I think I'm going to jump after all. I think I'm going to jump, Beatrice. Okay, I won't. I love you.

We love you. It's going to be okay. We love PepsiCo. Bye. It's going to be an edge of semester. Crabby? God. She sounded like she wanted to jump. Sometimes you call someone and you don't get the response you are after. Wow, that was depressing as fuck. I was joking, but I think I really want to jump now.

Is she still on? No, I don't want to talk to her. She's probably the reason people jump. I want to. I don't think she's ever had a funnion. But I still love her. I do too. She was nice.

And she has edge of semester on her mind now? She sound like she was going to support your movie. Northridge. I wonder where we called. To Funion, land. I know, but that was not Funyonville. The first one was fun. And Beatrice, she was...

Beatrice is like Ethel or Gritongo, Grimelda. Beatrice could be an edger semester. She was unfunion. But she hung in there. Here's what I did notice, which seems to me demented. Yeah, what? You said, should I kill myself? And she had to think about it.

which to me that doesn't represent funyon it almost bumped her out that she said don't you know what it's she thought about her job yeah well I think what happened is have you haven't seen a Winnie the Pooh movie for a long time and I think that was Eeyore

and I was like should I jump she goes I don't know I think so have a funian she said that phone call was recorded Yeah. For safety? Yeah. Not for my safety. Yeah.

That's a dark hole we called. Buddy, we got to wrap it up. You got to get your Pilates. Words from a wooden shoe. Pull out a word. Find a story from your fabulous journey. And then we'll get you out of here like a slippery snake. Excuse me.

I don't get athletes' foot. Okay. What is it? scared in the water. Wow, here we go. This one, whoa. Now, I'll tell you when I was scared in the water.

Yeah, please. I was eight years old in San Diego, California. Oh, boy. And I was with my parents. Yeah. And I walked into the water and I got pulled

a little riptide current took me. Took me out. Yeah. About a half a mile. Wow. And I suddenly felt pressure against my rectum. It was a gay riptide?

No. Close. Because I lived in San Diego. Okay. A bottlenose dolphin. Wow. From SeaWorld had. escaped. Oh, no. And this bottle nose dolphin pressed his bottle nose against my rectum.

Almost rectum. Close. And pushed me around toward a buoy, one of those lighthouse buoys out there? Okay, that's not French for boy, is it? Possibly. I don't speak France. And it pressed me against there to get leverage. It tries. It tries to get leverage. It tried to penetrate by pushing me against this buoy. A buoy rape. And I managed to break free. Wow. And the dolphin, and I, it seemed drunk.

Yeah, I wanted to nose punch your asshole. It seemed to be a slurred squeak. Yeah, and it pushed me and left me on the shore. Spread Eagle? Yes. Wow. And everyone said that dolphin saved your life. And I said, you weren't there.

You didn't smell the alcohol. Or your ass. Or the, the, or the, and two years later, I saw that dolphin at SeaWorld. Did it have shit on its nose? No, but I knew it was the dolphin. Yeah. Because the dolphin was wearing my bathing suit. Harlan, it had taken the bathing suit off

and tried to repel the R word. Yeah. So when you say scared in the water, yeah, I was scared. Terrified. And then I was relieved that it dropped me on the shore and then a couple years later I saw the dog. That's a horrible story.

I think someone needs a funyon. No, I don't like the aftertaste. Yeah. I don't even like the beginning taste. Okay, 2-11. Okay. Pilates, is it 2.30? Folks, we didn't even do the intro.

Folks, welcome to the Hall of Highway podcast. Welcome to the end of the Holland Highway podcast. All in one breath. Kirk Fox is here today, was here today. I watch Mermaid. It's in theaters. Tell them about your new book coming out. It's called Palmdale. I think soon it'll be on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

And we're going to have you back because Kirk's coming every six weeks. Every six weeks. And buddy, thanks for being here. I hope your bottom heels up. Yeah. My butt's fine, but scared in the water. Okay. That's great.

Bye, Beatty. I hope, and if you know Beatrice, tell her it's going to be okay. Folks, that's all. Add your summer coming. And your summer with Professor Kirk Fox. That's all we got today. Live, love, laugh, and funyon. Until next time.

chicken chalman baby jump bye bye bye-bye cock-ring for all crunchy cock-rings funyon save that for a rimmer semester or whatever it's called rimmer edger edge a rimmer runs through it that could be the sequel what was that movie river's edger there you go we'll see you in hell we're out hey everybody how would you like your very own personal video message from me yours truly It's your birthday, it's your anniversary, it's your graduation, or you just want me to make you laugh. You get to pick the topic, you want me to discuss, give me some talking points, and off we go. You can get it for yourself or get it for a friend. It's super easy and fun.

Just go to the Cameo app on your phone or to Cameo.com. And I record a custom video made just for you or your loved one. Your very own personalized Harland.