The Harland Highway - MARGARET CHO- Visits and talks Flowers, Flaws, and Inner Harmony!

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Margaret Cho visits and speaks about being a character actress, bad habits, and finding harmony within! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get up to $2,700 when you open select small business banking products. Yep, that's $2,700 to turn up your business. Visit TD.com slash small business match to learn more. Conditions apply. It's all right. It's all right. I think you're mad at me now. I'm not mad at you at all.

What about you hate me? No. What about you want to maybe murder me? No. Run me over with a snowblower? No. Crush me up with a John Deer Wheat Thrasher. No.

I'm just asking, throw me off the Empire State building? Never, no, no. Catch a giant sailfish and ram the nose through my face? Like a Marlin? Yeah. No. You almost went, yeah. You were right there.

You almost said yes. No, no. Okay. No, never. So you're not mad? No, not at all. So you're full of love? I am.

I'm full of so much love. You're riding down the Harland Highway. All right, hold time. on the Harland Highway Show. Harland Williams. Lucia. Muffin top. Is that the name of the dog?

Muffin top? Lutia. It could be a good name because it's sort of right at your midsection. It looks like a muffin top with eyes. She is like a muffin top. Move your hands. It's blocking the muffin there. See?

There she goes. Right there. Perfect. Looks like a muffin top with eyes. Like if a muffin top could come to life. Who knew muffin tops are so adorable? It's so adorable. Because listen to this.

People go to the gym for years to get rid of a muffin top. And if that's, that kind of muffin top, you don't even want to go, you don't even want to park near a gym. No, keeper. You want that muffin top to rise. That's right. You want the Chihuahua yeast to rise in Mama's. I like that. You do?

Chihuahua yeast. Chihuahua yeast. I want her to rise. I want her to rise to power. And she's white. Yeah. Maybe. Well, maybe not.

Maybe just like puff up. Maybe just like, but just be powerful. Right. Because if you say white power, that's intimidating. But if you say puff up white, yeah, that's okay. Who's afraid of that? That's almost, you almost want that.

She's really into you. Yeah. Yeah, most bitches are. She's really into you. Yeah. You had a chihuahua before. I did. And mine was black.

So I could have had a black muffin top. Yeah. Black power. See, it doesn't matter. It's about the color is the power. That's right. But it's muffin power. That's right.

Racial power. No. First of all, before we get too into the yeast, before we get too deep into the yeast, I'm going to lower this little so we can also see your beautiful face. Now we got Muffin' Top and Maggie. Maggie Cho is here, ladies and gentlemen. Margaret Cho, but I've called you Maggie since we've known each other.

That's right. Actor, comedian. Yes. Do you still race Formula One? No. Oh, when did you stop doing that? Maggie. I know.

It's sad. I had to stop. Why'd you get out of the car racing game? I lost my license. Oh, really? So I can't. Oh, yeah. Oh, well.

How did you lose your license? I just, you know, I just didn't renew. You didn't? I didn't renew it. It was just like, I didn't do anything to, like, lose it. I just didn't renew it. You didn't renew your Formula One racing license. So you have to do renew it.

Yeah. Do you have to go to the DMV for that? Like, you have to drive a race car through the city and parallel park. Yeah. Oh, poor angel. You put an egg on the traffic cones and you have to make sure that you don't crush it. Yeah. You just, you were like, I can't be bothered.

or did you just forget? I just forgot. Oh, Maggie. I just kind of thought they would just give me grace, but no. Oh, well. Do you say grace when you eat before you eat? Like, let's say you've got a steaming meatloaf, like a giant puffed-out meat float.

It almost looks like meatloaf the singer's leg. Oh. Like a puffy meat. If you were sitting down to a puffed-up meatloaf with gravy and much of, would you say grace or would you just meatloaf it up? I would just meatloaf it up. But I did have lunch with somebody I didn't know very well on a movie set. A stranger?

Well, she was another actor. Okay. And we got our little meals and not meatloaf, but something similar. Yeah. And before she ate, she bowed her head and prayed, and I was so embarrassed that I just looked down. Oh. And paused as well.

I didn't pray, but I... You paused, though? I paused. But praying and pausing? They both start with pee. I was embarrassed. Why? Just because I didn't, I just started, I was so hungry I wanted to just eat.

Yeah. To heck with the Lord. Let's have a meatloaf. I was embarrassed. She was like so gracious to pray. You know, it's interesting when you go out to dinner with people or lunch or whatever and they're of the Lord and they pray and you're not used to it. If you're completely not used to it or it's not, I could see it being a little,

because you don't expect it. The thing is not a lot of people do it. No, not a lot of people do it. Yeah, I like it, though. I think it's nice. You know, you're given this bountiful feast and you give thanks, you know? There's nothing wrong with that, no matter what God you pray to. That's right.

You want to have gratitude. Oh, do I have gratitude, do you think? Yeah, I think so. Is it in my eyes or do I wear it like a coat? Both. You wear it like a technicolor dream coat. Oh. And it's also emanating.

from your eyes. You didn't just Donnie Osmond me, did you? No, but yes. Because he was in the Technicolor Dreamcoat. That's right. So I think you might have accidentally just Donnie Osmond me. Maybe I did. I haven't seen that show.

Oh my God. I haven't been Donnie Osmond. I love it though. Thank you for that. That's so nice. I didn't know how it would feel to be Donnie Osmond, but I kind of feel yeasty. Now you know. Now you're puffed up.

I'm puffed up. Do you ever puff out? Like, do you get allergies? and puff up anywhere? Yes. Where? Why are you grabbing that area? Well, I get it like in my lungs.

Your lungs puff up? My lungs and my throat and my nose, my nasals, my sinus. I had a bunch of surgeries because I have terrible allergies. No, like what? To dust. Dust. Actually, it's not even dust. It's dust mites.

It's dust mites shit. That's what it is. You know dust mite excrement? Wait a minute. Hold on. So dust mites are. are almost microscopic. Right.

So I've got to imagine their shits are you couldn't even see them with the Hubble telescope. You couldn't even see it. But it makes me so sick. So I've had, yeah, a number of surgeries. Because a dust mite shit. Because a dust mite shit. Does it stink? No, you can't even detect it unless it gives you an allergic reaction.

Can you imagine a dust mite talking to another dust might go, you act like your shit don't stink? And he's like, yeah. It doesn't. I'm a dust mite. It's about as big as a half a molecule. Right. Do they even need to wipe their bombs after? I don't know.

Does a dust mite, does it, does it ball up a little bit of dust and just go? Ewe. Maybe it has a bidet. Oh, I hope so. How does a good bidet? Yeah. It rinses. Yeah, I wonder if an Australian dust might has a good bidet.

Good bidet might. Yes. Good bid I own you. That's right. Are there dust mites in Australia? Because they're down under. They're still there, though. And down is what?

That's duck feathers. Yeah. And they live on down. Oh, wow. They live on down. So they might. Might. Have mites.

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Restrictions do apply, so see the website for details and important safety information. Subscription required and prices vary based on product and your subscription plan. So there you go, guy. Hymns, hymns, hymns. hymns you'll be singing hymns after you have a night with hymns oh hymns see what me and maggie did there and that's why we were almost the comedy team of the 90s that everyone wanted but we didn't want it right because we didn't want to project that power we didn't want to roll over our comedy friends no there was no way we were going to do that no way we're too compassionate that's right me and you what did you say I had in my eyes earlier empathetic empathetic Empathetic.

And full of gratitude. And I think that's what you have, that we didn't crush over our competition by becoming Harland and Maggie like comedy duo. That's right. Like Shields and Yarnel. Ooh. Mime.

Yours. Mime. It's yours. I love them. I don't want them. They're yours. They're great. They were from San Francisco, I think.

Were they? Yeah, I think they would do Mime at like Pier 39, which is like a place. Tier 30, mine. I'd love to see mimes literally step on a landmime because I hate them. I'd like to see all mimes like blow like zero dark 30 up into the air. Oh wow. Like I'd love to plant land mimes all over the theater district and just watch those silent whores blow up into thousands of mime pieces.

Silent pieces. I want to see it snow mime. Oh. Yeah. Hate the whores. I don't hate a lot. You know that. skip through the daisies together holding hands.

I don't hate a lot. No, you don't. You like most things. But tell me what I do hate. Mimes. Why do I hate them so much, Maggie? You can't tell what's going on. Can a mime do a silent fart?

Yeah. I think they'd all be silent. Yeah. It's all silent. You're right. Yeah. So a mime probably can't do a loud fart. I don't think so.

Oh, Maggie. I know. She farts very silently, but it really smells like rotten garbage. She's been farting for the last couple of days. I don't know what she ate, but she's had like some really rotten spicy farts, like shockingly large for her small size. You know what?

This is the migration. Do you have any herds of caribou running through your yard? Because she might have found like an old caribou. Caribou carcass or something. That's it. Caribou? What it is. That's probably what she's eating.

Like some rotten game. Yeah, carrion, they call it. Some carrion? Yeah. She's eating something nasty. I remember I took a flight from New York to Denver once. And I brought a rotting moose carcass on the plane. And she goes, sir, you can't bring that on here.

And I said, yes, I can. It's carrion. Ah. And she said, sir, no, it has to be. carry on and I was like oops my bad and meanwhile maggots are falling all over everybody and smells like her farts and it's awful what I felt like such an idiot well it's not really your fault because it sounds the same easy mistake could easily be made by anybody yeah it's not my fault it's delta airline's fault maybe I'm going to sue them for denying me a rotten moose corpse I mean up there's

with a with what oh what should I I got to be careful what should we put up Delta's tail fin. Am I? We can, but what would we to give it to them? I don't know. What about a 12-layer lasagna? Oh, 12 layers. That's a lot of lasagna.

Yeah, but don't forget it's an airplane. I mean, how big is an airplane's hoo-ha? Like you can't do this. They're not going to feel it, but you put a 12-layer Mary Callender's lasagna up there. You might as well start Christmas in January. You mean like a frozen merry calendars, like from the frozen food section? You might as well freeze it because there's a lot of jet action happening up there.

So it'll be hard. Be hard. Yeah. Let it cook. Do that. Great. And I'm going to do this. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Hall of Power Ponker here in the world.

This show goes to the whole world, by the way. So get ready. I love it. The Hall of Hawaii Puckus here with such a special guest, such a treat. If you were in a bakery and you said to the baker, what's your favorite treat? They'd go get Maggie Cho. Margaret Cho, I call her Maggie. She probably doesn't like it, but is that going to stop me?

I don't think so. Comedian, actress. What's the latest credit you want to go by, Maggie? I have a band. Get out. So I play music. Oh, so it's not a rubber band? No, but I have that too.

No way. Where'd you get at Staples? Yes. They have the best rubber bands. They really do. Tell me about your music band. My music band. I play music.

I've an album that's coming out in January, no February. What? Yeah. I didn't know this about you. Yeah. I've known you for what, 30 years? Yes. At least, maybe longer.

I'm going to talk about, after you tell us about the band, I want to tell them about one of our early, early, like, get-togethers we have. Okay. It was so fun. Tell us about this band. What the heck? I play music and I wrote a bunch of songs. And so I'm putting out my third album.

It's called Lucky Gift. And it's coming out on, not December. It's the announcement is coming out in December. So this is before the announcement. This is a pre-announcement. Pre-announcement. But the album's coming out on Valentine's Day next year. What genre of music would you say it is?

Power Pop. So it's a little bit like what may be bare naked ladies from Canada. Oh, wow. You like your neck of the woods. The ladies, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so it's really catchy sort of. Very catchy pop tunes.

Oh, Maggie. With a sour edge. Oh, so like it's been in the fridge too long? Yeah, a little bit like with a skin on top. Yeah, it's been in the studio too long. It's been a little bit sort of stinky, but it's good. Oh, would you want to sing us a little like a line? Two notes, huh?

Yeah. I was thinking maybe if we could even just do a whole word from one of the song. Lucia. Weren't you in a band? Yeah, I have a band. You were a band. Yeah, called The Cousins. Yeah.

Yeah, I do it with my cousin. That's right. I remember that. Yeah, it's like a hobby band. Yeah. It's not like, it's like, we do it here and there. Mm-hmm. But if you want to, do you have one of your songs we could play on this podcast?

Would you want us to play it? Yes. Well, then you send me, do you have any rock videos? Yes. Do you want us to pop in one of your rock videos right here and right now? Yes. Folks, hold on. Here we go, gang.

This is the world premiere, not really, but on the Harland Highway of Maggie Cho's. Name the band again. It's the... Oh, there's no name. It's just me. It's just Margaret Cho, and we're about to watch one of your songs. What's the name? Well, you don't know yet.

You're probably... I don't know yet. You're going to pick a good one. And then you'll drop it right in. And we'll drop it away. Why don't we do it? You just go into your camera, say, roll it, Harland. Roll at Harland.

Hey, big dog. Why are you afraid of the wind? You always blow the doors. And windows in Wind is real It's always there Baby Big Duck It's only moving air

Hey, big a moon Why are you always wait by the phone Don't you know that Batman We'll always leave you alone He likes to say he will But he never says when And I will bite him If it comes around again

We're silly creatures Who need teachers Can we solve them together? Ooh, together? Together, ooh. Hey, big duck, or do you howl at the moon? I never heard such a sad.

And mourn for two, didn't you know, the moon is your friend, it's the only one there for you in the end. Hey, big mama, why you let that man come around? I don't like the way he looks. I don't like the way he sounds And I didn't tell you But he stepped on my tail And he smells just like he Like he's fresh out of jail

Stop licking your paws I like the days Squirrel's gotta be chased. Don't pay on the road. Then don't do drugs. You're just a puff. Stop messing things up. We're silly creatures

Who need teachers? We've got problems Can we solve them together? Ooh Together Together, ooh, together, wow, wow, I'm pretending I just saw it. It's amazing. Whoa, dude. What? Wow.

What in the name of caramelized onions did I just see? Amazing. Rocefiosh. What? Stop. Dude. That was you? That was me.

Talk to me, guy. Yeah. Whoa. I love it. I love playing music. Yeah. Do you play and sing or just sing? I wrote the album on a double-knick guitar mandible.

So I play two instruments at the same time. And it's really great. Does that mean you're ambi? Not ambidextrous, but I'm a multi-instrumentalist. Wow. But I could be, maybe I'm slightly ambidextrous. I think all guitar players are ambidextrous to some degree because you use one hand to fret and the other hand to strum or pick.

Oh, yeah. So you do have to have some command over both hands. Don't you play guitar? No. Do you think dears are ambidextrous? Yes. Or Bambi dexterous? Bambi dexterous.

Yeah. Both. Wow. Bambi dexterous. For deers. It's cute. It is cute. Almost too cute.

I like that you almost want to get a hunting license. No. No. I said almost. Like it's right at the edge of cute and blast its head off in the forest during hunting season. Like a cute little Bambi deer. Like you're right at that line. Their skin is.

One white speckle away from, you know, but we're still in cute. Yeah, didn't do it yet. So I'm not going to. Yeah. That's beautiful. Thank you. I love it. I can't believe I didn't know that.

Now, I remember you said you felt embarrassed about when people were praying? Yeah. I'm embarrassed. I didn't know you saying. It's all right. It's all right. I think you're mad at me now. I'm not mad at you at all.

What about do you hate me? No. What about you want to maybe murder me? No. Run me over with a snowblower? No. crushed me up with a John Deer Wheat Thrasher. No.

I'm just asking, throw me off the Empire State Building? Never, no, no. Catch a giant sailfish and rammed the nose through my face. No. Like a Marlin? Yeah. No. You almost went, you were right there. You almost said yes.

No, no, no, never. So you're not mad? No, not at all. So you're full of love? I am. I'm full of so much love. Speaking of love, we had a. a dinner years ago you invited me over for dinner this was like 25 years ago yes you invited me over for a beautiful dinner to your beautiful house one night to hang out and I said yeah let's go let's

have a beautiful dinner with Maggie and I get over there and you're an unique person everyone knows Maggie's like you've got a unique personality a unique sensibility there's no one like you, fair to say? Yes. Do you remember what you served at the dinner? It was a salad with flowers in it. Yeah. And when we say flowers, like I'm talking like, do you have some? I want people to see it was like flower flowers. That was like flowers. There was flowers. Like I went to dinner, like I was hoping for a corned beef sandwich, maybe a glazed ham, a lobster thermidor. Yes. Maybe even Arby's on a lucky day.

Yeah. Yeah. And I got there and Maggie's so unique. Do you want a flower? Thank you. I get there and she literally prepared like real flowers. And I was just like, and I go, what's for dinner? I thought they were decorations.

And you were like, no, we're the flowers. And then I thought, okay, she's a comedian. She's having me on a little bit. That they were going to squirt at you? I thought, I didn't, I didn't know if they would squip, I thought you were like taking the piss. No. I thought you were having me on for a little bit. Oh, all of them, we're going to eat the flowers, mate.

Like, it was weird. Yeah. But I thought, hey, when in Rome or one in Maggie's kitchen, let's do it. Yeah. So can I show people what that dinner actually looked like? Yes. Like, this, folks, this is how the, like, it was just raw, like. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. It was very like, it was for Bambi. It was very bambidextrous. I like how you're like chewing it like that. Well, I'm not easy to eat. Yeah. It was, it was like I felt like an elk. Yeah. But I did it. We ate the, we ate the flowers. Just like, it's like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Were those flowers pollinated or unpollinated, by the way? I don't know.

maybe they were not but it was interesting it was unique i appreciated it but it was not easy i felt like a camel like grazing it was very it was it was very agricultural it was like i came to eat and i've never grazed but i was like yeah oh delicious it was really good you got any gravy and then for dessert we had grass seed no i'm kidding no i'm kidding no i'm kidding no i'm kidding But I got to get a drink now. My mouth tastes like rot me. Will you hold down the podcast for 30 seconds? Yes, we're here.

Say whatever you want. Okay, we're here. Except nothing about hate and nothing about sideburns? What? He came over and we had flour salad. But they were edible flowers. They were really like flowers that you could eat. They weren't flowers from the garden.

oh thank you they weren't flowers that were like um peed on by dogs you know like weird peed on flowers you don't want that you don't want like flowers that you know have like bugs in them these were like flowers that you could actually eat and they bought them at gelson's in a box that said edible flower arrangement so i think that um you know it was a romantic kind of a gesture Keep going. They were. Oh, it was a romantic gesture. I thought it was a romantic gesture.

Instead of giving you flowers, I served you flowers. Oh, wow. You know what I mean? So it was sort of a romantic gesture. Yeah. Was it, okay. You know, lovely. It was lovely.

And I'll tell you what, Maggie. Do you like that stuff? Sure. There's water if you want water instead. No, this is good. I like this. It's delicious. It's like flour flavored.

Flower, delicious. But I'll tell you, I've never forgot, I've never forgot the dinner. Great, yeah. That's what it's supposed to do. It was so unique. Very unique. That house is gone. That house is unique too.

It was such a neat house. It was like four floors. He's all stilts, on stilts. It was like upstairs. There was like four or five floors. It was very, everything was unique. Yeah. And then I feel like I ruined the evening.

Do you remember what happened after dinner? Um, did, uh, did you, no, what did you do? I told the Baskin-Robbins banana story. Oh, no. Do you remember that? No. You probably don't, but see, I, I don't smoke weed hardly ever. And after the flowers, you broke out the plants.

Right. You broke out a little Han Jonas, a little jointy joint. Right. This was back in the days when joints were still joints, remember? Now it's like edibles and, yeah. You could lick your sister's forehead. You could eat a car bumper. Like, everything's got THC in it now.

Yeah. So you gave me a joint. And because I don't do that hardly ever often, hardly often ever, hardly otters like to slide down snow banks into heaven. I'm to get my words mixed up. I apologize. I know. You are very affected by that joint.

Yeah. And so what happened is when I used to do. do if I ever tried that stuff I'd get very talkative and I'd fixate on the dopiest story and I don't know if I put you through hell or not but I started giggling and you're like what the hell's going on and I said do you want to hear what happened to Baskin Robbins and you're like yeah and you were just looking at me kind of like the way you are now like just kind of like and I told the story I went to Baskin-Robbins and Glendale. I ordered a chocolate milkshake.

And this kid, this pudgy kid who looked like the Gary Larson characters, remember that comic, The Far Side? He had these, I'll put a picture up, but the pudgy kid with the nose and the freckles and the, this kid looked exactly like a Gary Larson thing. Oh. I ordered a chocolate milkshake. It took forever. It was really busy.

It took about 25 minutes to get my shake. This kid was sort of fat and pudgy and new, and he had the little Baskin Robbins out. outfit and the freckles and the teeth and the little he kind of had you know almost like a voice like and he finally gave me that you know they put the ice cream and the metal thing and they grind it and the shrapnel gets in it and you have to go to the and he finally gave it to me and i was pissed i was and i i sipped it and the kid was just looking at me with this pudgy like gary larsen farside face and i took my first sip and i went you know sometimes they put other flavors of ice cream and the same thing and they don't rinse it out.

Right. So someone must have ordered like banana ice cream or something. Oh, no. So I took a sip and I just went, oh, dude, this tastes like banana. And the little pudgy kitty just went, a banana. Like he was, he was so shocked. And that was the whole story. Yeah.

But to me, I couldn't stop laughing. And I remember you were sitting there just watching me and I'm dying. And when I used to ever try that stuff, I'd sort of rock back. before I get fidgety. Yeah. And you were just like, I never should have had this guy over for flowers. What the hell is he talking about?

It really affected you. Well, that's why I say, I think I ruined the whole dinner. It wasn't ruined. It wasn't? No, it was really fun.

But I remember that you did get very, very confused and high. Yeah. I don't remember the banana story, but that's a good story. It's a great story. It's a really great story. Even now it's annoying.

But I remember you were very calm. were like, because I always thought because I got goofy when I smoked that stuff. I thought everyone else did. Yeah. But you were just kind of sitting there like. Yeah. Plightly watching. Yeah.

Yeah. It just sort of makes me feel, I guess, introspective or something. I don't know. I don't smoke pot anymore. Yeah. Maybe if I smoked it now, I would get really goofy. Yeah. Did you used to smoke it a lot and all that stuff?

You did. You were in a place. And I don't want to talk about anything if it's something you don't want to talk about. Yeah. But did you go to a place once where you were kind of getting too deep into that kind of stuff? Yeah. Do we talk about that or no? We can talk about that.

Out of respect, I don't want to. No, it's good. It's okay. Yeah. Because I remember we were buddies and we hung out. We were all in the same comedy circles. And then you might not remember. One day I was going to L.A.X. to a show. And I saw you at the airport. Yes. And you were like, hey, Harlan, you hugged me. It's like, I think you might have been married or something. And it was like, hey, come, come hang out. And, you know, you were, I don't want to talk about anything weird if you don't like,

but you were like in kind of very open about your sexuality. Yeah. And was there a time when you were sort of into devil worship or something? Oh, oh, no. But my ex-husband was very into that. Not necessarily devil worship, but very like into all sorts of alternative. of religion. Yeah.

And that was it. I bumped into you. You're like, hey, come on over. We're doing a devil ceremony and we can all have sex. And I was just like, Maggie. But you were, you talked about it like you were talking about the weather.

Yes. And I was like, it blew my mind, but it was also like, I was sort of jealous. I was like, I'm good for her for being so comfortable and open. Yes.

But did that sort of cascade into too much? Did it become a problem? Yeah, I think so. So I went to rehab. And then I got divorced, but I got divorced way before that. But then I went to rehab, and then I stayed in rehab for almost two years. Can we ask what it was for? Everything, for alcohol, all drugs, everything, everything you could, anybody could take.

I was taking. You were just. Yeah. And do you know why were you just trying to live this life where, you know, just anything went? Or was your husband influencing you? No. You just fell into it. fell into it.

You know, you get into these, like, bad habits and then you just fall into it. And then, like, comedy kind of makes it easy because you have a lot of free time. Yeah, right. So you could do, like, weird stuff. You could end up, if you're, if you're not putting your time into your creative stuff, you could end up a lot of comics and entertainers and artists in general will drift. Yeah. That's why you hear so many stories about people in recovery or died of overdosing or things like that.

Yeah. So almost died of overdose and a bunch of times. What? Yeah. A bunch of times. A bunch of times. A whole banana. A whole banana. A bunch of times.

A bunch of bananas. Like how many times? Oh gosh. Maybe 70 or 80 times. No, no, no. At least. That's more than a bunch. That's a herd.

It's a herd. Are we okay talking about this? Because I see people just randomly start talking and I really want to respect your boundaries and your comfortability. And if this is stuff you don't want to chat about, you tell me. No, it's right. I really admire you and I respect you. And I don't want to go, you know, I don't see this stuff as just fodder for talking. It's very personal.

But because I know you and I was part of witnessing some of that, I thought I'd ask you about it and see if you wanted to talk about it. Yeah, it's okay. Okay. But I've been sober for almost nine years now. Fantastic. Which is great. You know, like I just spent a lot of time taking care of my mental health.

And so I feel really good now, which is amazing. What do you say? because mental health is such a broad spectrum, and maybe this will be helpful to other people watching, what's the thing that you really zone in on to sort of reclaim your mental health? Would you say there's one pivotal point of focus or one sort of target you aim for

when you're trying to rein that mental health in and kind of get back in control of things? I think it's just about being peaceful. Like I meditate and stuff. Like I do that a lot. I do that every day. You do. Yeah.

That helps. Yeah. So it's sort of about finding harmony to a degree. Yeah. Finding the peaceful places that you can set your mind in. Yeah. And constantly doing that. Is that work or is that sort of like now a respute for you?

I have to do it. You have to do it. Yeah, I have to do it. Interesting. Yeah. And is it laborious to do it or do you wake up and go, oh, I look. forward to it. Both. Yeah. It can be really like a drag to do it. Yeah. I just can't get my mind still or it's hard to focus, but ever get the feeling you're being watched online. It's not

paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to. And they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and then keeps it off. ORA also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at ORA.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A dot com slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial. That's Aura.com slash control.

It's really important. Yeah. Huh. Interesting. But I love doing it. And then like all of my cats and my dog, they all know when I'm doing it. and they all come and lay on my body, so we're all meditating together. Whoa.

And we're just all like one big cat, dog, mommy pile. Whoa. It's really nice. Yeah, it's just like a big, like cuddle. Yeah. Like a nest of critter. Like when you see all the puppies feeding on mommy, they're just all in the belly tucked in.

That's all they do. They all get on my body. I mean, it's hard to sleep sometimes because they're always on my body. Do they make the noises like, you know how they're oh god it's so cute oh and did the old hubby do you think he sort of influenced your your pathway into kind of a little bit of the debauchery or maybe but i think it's just like we were just i don't know what we're doing we were just having fun it was weird he's cool i ran into him at the vet he has a new wife and they were at the vet oh wow i was like oh he had he has

dogs and i have i had well i have one of my cats there So we got to introduce them. How about if you were still bitter and you ran into him with a vet? I just ran over him with a Corvette Stingray and said, this is for all the bullshit you put me through Donnie or whatever his name is. And then put it and just ran into him with the vet. Yeah, with a Corvette. Would that be something you'd be into?

Yeah, why not? Yeah, I thought there was a, why not? Run over your ex with a vet. Do it. That should be a day. Because we have Veterans Day. How about run over your ex with a vet day? I think that's a good idea.

That sounds fun. Yeah, I agree. I mean, that might be three years worth of meditating right there because think of all the stuff, all the baggage you would pump out, just running over your ex with a Corvette Stingray and the old kind, you know, from the 70s. Yeah, love it. Oh, baby lumps. You never got married.

I did. You did? I did. When did you get married? Yesterday. Congratulations. Thanks. No, mine was years ago, like 20, over 25 years ago.

See, now, I'm the opposite of you. That's why I was so concerned about asking you, I don't talk about that publicly. But I would talk to you about it privately, but I don't talk about it openly. I see. And you respect my boundaries, I hope. But that's why I asked you about yours

because I didn't want to, especially as a friend, an old friend, I didn't want to just go, oh, well, let's bring up the painful past. I thought if you wanted to talk about it, you would. It's not painful. It's not painful. It's just like, you know, I never, like, I go long periods without seeing you, and then suddenly you're on the Great Barrier Reef.

Remember when you went to the Great Barrier Reef? Oh, yeah. Well, for reference, if you want to hear more about that trip, and I don't mind plugging this, but I just did a podcast called Ari Shafir, you'd be tripping on YouTube. And the whole episode is about my trip around the world, which included the Great Barrier Reef. and it was like nine or 10 or 12 other countries all in one trip. It's a pretty fascinating adventure. So if you haven't seen you be tripping with Ari Shafir on YouTube, you can hear more of that.

That's really cool. But speaking at journeys and comedy, your comedy, I want to find out about where you're, like you're singing now too, but I want to talk about your comedy journey because when we first met, you were just so funny.

you were killing it and a lot of your comedy was coming from your Korean heritage and dealing with your family and your mother and how your mother didn't really understand because your mother came from Korea so she was still fully heavily sort of immersed more in the Korean culture and assimilating to American culture whereas you were born here right yes so your comedy sort of started there and then you kind of became from what I saw a little more eclectic and then you were doing a lot of shows that sort of sort of were centered a lot around the LGBTQ community and then where is it now where is your comedy now would you say is a combination of everything is it yeah and i still take care of my parents i just moved them into a nice assisted living oh they play hockey yes oh how many

assist do they have? A lot. Too soon. So assisted living. They live in Irvine now. Does that, I was going to ask, does the place have a cool name? Because sometimes the assisted, like moon glow, the states or, no, nothing like that. Tinkerbell Manor or, you know, some of, okay, you don't have to name it. I don't, God knows we don't want people harassing. It's a nice place. It's really, it's really, really nice. Do you think they take a guy like me? Yeah, we could do it. We could go move in now because they do 55 and up. Really? Yeah, there's people like our age that live there.

I think that's great. What if we've moved in but your parents became too overbearing? They have a tendency to be. So there's me and you just trying to get on with our lives at the senior center, eat the porridge, play the bingo, roll around in our wheelchairs holding hands. They have a drum circle at night. And they like all get in there and they have their dinner at like four people. They love it.

My parents really love it there. Wow. Oh, that's good. I'm glad to hear that. Yeah, it's nice. And you got them in there? Yeah. But your early comedy, man,

your stories about your mother, and you would do her voice. Yeah. You would do her inflection, her Korean accent. Yes. Yes. And it was so funny.

Do you miss talking to her like all the time or do you still talk to her? I talk to her all the time. She's like really happy because she can't hear me. I have hearing any. I'm not going to turn it on because I don't want to listen to you. I love that voice. She won't turn it on. I don't like to listen to you.

She'll turn it right off. As a character actor. Yes. As a deep character actor who's probably been overlooked by this town and several Oscar nominations, would it be insulting and be honest? Yes. Because you just triggered something in me right there, something deep and beautiful and wonderful. Would it be an insult if because your mother can't hear anymore, maybe you're missing those

mother-daughter conversations, would it benefit you? Would it, would it be endearing for you for me to play your mother and we just have a talk? Yeah, go ahead. And I do her voice. I do it. Oh my gosh. Do we do it on the phone or do we do it? We'll probably have to do it on the phone. Okay, so we'll pretend we're on the phone. Hello, hello. I do your mother. What's your mother's name?

Young. Wow. Young. Okay. You could just call her mommy. She's going to call herself Mommy. Okay. Go ahead.

Hi, Mommy. Oh, how, Margaret? Oh, you're doing it so good. Who's doing what's so good? You're doing your voice so good. Well, of course I'm doing it so good, Margaret, because it's me, Mommy. Oh, my God, you're doing it so good. But you know what?

One thing you might be forgetting is you can't hear. Pardon me? Hello? Is there someone there, Marguerite? No, I didn't say anything. Oh, are you at Mime? Are you at Mime School, Marguerite? Yeah, we're being quiet, so you're miming.

Would you do a favor of Marguerite? Yes. Well, you are at Mime School, please? Yes. Will you do a silent fart for Mommy? Oh, Mommy, right? Mommy right. Oh, that was such a nice. Hold on. What's your father's name? Daddy. Daddy. Margaret just do silent mind fart.

How did you hear that? What? Are you saying something? No. Bye, mommy. Wait, could you do one more, one more siren fart before we go for mommy, please? Put the phone right near your little asshole. Oh, a little louder. Oh, you're my good girl. Mommy love you. I love you.

That was so good. Is she gone? Yeah. Hello? I don't know if she's gone. I can't hear all fucking word. Are you fucking there? Hello?

Oh, for fuck. Daddy, get the vibrator. Oh, my God. No, I didn't mean that last part. Oh, my God. I didn't mean the last part about the daddy. That was a good part. a good part. I didn't mean the last part about

daddy and the vibrator and the senior did they allow vibrators in the senior center? They do. Keeps the lymph moving around. The what? The lymph. No way. That's when you get old, you need to keep your lymph moving around. They have a limp? A limp. What's that? Sounds like a Lord of the Rings character. It's all the body fluids.

Get the lymph. Get the lymph. I'm the lymph. I'm here for the seniors. I'm here to do the sponge bath. Is that the limp? Yeah. What a character. Did you like, but did I do your mother justice? You did the best. It wasn't an insult, right? No, it was perfect.

See, what people need to understand, and you know this, we've been together for 30 years as friends. I'm a deep, deep, deep character actor, probably overlooked by the Academy, the Emmys. You're an amazing character actor. One of the best this city's ever seen. And so when I go deep, when I hear an opportunity to act, and I take on, I wear it like, like a coat that you just found at one of these places that do the regurgitated clothing and it smells like mothballs, tangerines, and old lady meat. I put it on and daddy rolls down the, I rolled down Brokeback Mountain like a buttplug

colored and covered in salad dressing. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's colorful. That's what I do. I like that. Wow. That was a trip.

Okay, so your comedy now is a blend of everything. Yes. Centering more towards the older kind of stuff with your family? Is it more political? Is it more socially conscious? Really? I try to do everything. Yeah.

Yeah, I want to do it all. And it's not just, you have a big impact on the LGBTQ community. You have huge fans there. You don't direct your comedy at them. They're just people who like it, right? Because I'm part of that community too. Oh, are you LGBTQ? Yeah.

I didn't even know that. Yes. Wait. Right. Maggie? Yes. Hello. Maggie, are you seeing the boy or the girls? Uh, both.

Okay. Get the five paid the daddy. No, I didn't mean it. That was your mother, not me. Wait, when did you become, when did you become, can we talk about that? Yeah, I've always been. I didn't become, I've always been. Oh, I thought you used to like, you used to like boys, though, didn't you?

I still like boys. Oh, so you do. double. You do double duty. I do double duty. I like everything. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Jeez. Yes. Okay. Okay. What do you like better? Is there like, do you like the girls a little better or the boy or are they just completely 50-50? I think they're both a 50-50. I think it's 50-50. So can you have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time? Yeah. Tell me what you're doing right now. Are you? No. No, there's nobody right now. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Which is. probably the best for everyone. Thank you.

There's somebody now. Nice. Ah. Oh, Maggie. Oh, Maggie. Maggie, I have a drink. Dinner's not till six o'clock. Oh, my God.

Wait, how did I not know that for all these years? I skipped a detail. It skipped. Because I remember I would. up in Canada, this was about eight years ago. I'm up in Canada. I'm shooting a sitcom. I'm having dinner by myself. I just finished shooting a long day at the, I sit down. I'm at a sushi restaurant in Vancouver. My phone rings. It's you. And you're talking to me asking you said, oh, I had a big breakup and you're asking me about relationship and I'm going, Maggie, it's going to be

okay. And I just assumed it was a guy. Yeah. Was it a girl? Yeah, I think so. So I was given lesbian advice and I didn't even know it. It's all right. It still applies. I'm sort of proud of myself. I thought you did a good job.

Did I help in any way? Yeah, you always do. Did I save it or wreck it? It was perfectly wrecked in the beginning so because it couldn't be saved. You know why I'm doing that? Why? Who's a better kisser, men or women? I think it depends.

It depends. It's always different. Really? Yeah. So there's no definitive. No. Because men can be a bit gruff and women. You know, it's nice that, though.

It depends. Ooh. Yeah. So the best kiss you've ever had, if you can remember them, was it male or female? I think it was male. What? I'm surprised. I think it was male.

Was it because men can be a little more, come here, darling? There's a softness to men sometimes. That's really nice. Oh, so like, come here, darling. Yeah. No. You made it sound like a bird. Yeah.

It was a bit fancy. It was a bit. Like, do you want a man that's a little, like, soft? Don't you want, like, Fabio covered with ketchup, just grabbing you? I don't know why I even said that. I'm sorry. That's all right. I get condiment disease.

I like that. I have condiment disease. Yeah. Every now and then I just say relish or. It's okay. But don't you, don't you want a man to be a little more manly? Like, come here, darling. versus a...

I like both. So it was a man. I think it was a man. But you stated the man was a bit softer. Yeah. Huh. So you like a soft kiss from a manly man? Yeah, it's nice.

Huh. It takes a little bit of... Yeah. It's nice when a man can be sort of like really soft. Huh. Yeah. Like an effeminate man? Or are we talking a burly guy,

like a football player who can kiss softly? I can see that. It's nice. I wouldn't know. There's a difference. between gentle and sensual. I could see a big guy being sensual, which sort of translates.

It can be gentle and sensual. Okay, because that I feel, I'm not into guys. I don't kiss guys. Yeah. You know that. But I could see, I could see a big man,

a burly guy being sensual, but it's not necessarily. No, I think it's good. Okay. Look at her. Oh, your little muffin top. She's tired, so she's, like, leaning on my arm. You know what we should do?

I have one more kissing question, and then I think I've got a little treat for fluff and stuff. Okay. tongue or no tongue? Are you, like, nuts for tongue kissing, or would you rather... I like tongue. I like tongue. I like tongue. but not too long. Not too long. You don't want it down here. No, not lizardy.

You want it like molar tooth, like wisdom tooth? Yeah, like reasonably far in, but not all the way down. Like, let's make out baby clean my wisdom tooth type of thing versus, hey, baby, suck my epiglottis. Like a pilot fish. Oh, yeah. You know, like a little like, you know. Oh, pilot fish. Yeah.

That's nice. is. I'm just picturing you. Like in the Great Barrier Reef, when you went to the Great Barrier Reef, did you see any pilot fish? Did you see any large fish with little fish around their jaws? Yeah. The little fish go in and clean. The big fish, like the groupers and even the sharks, they'll just sit there and hover with their mouths open and all the little fish will go right in their mouths. I love that. They've got some kind of symbiotic relationship where normally the big fish would just engulf the little fish, consume them, shit them out into the

Mediterranean Sea. They have a very nice relationship. This relationship where they go in and they pick their gingeritis halitosis gums. I wish she could do that with me. Who? Lucia. Yeah. Well, here's the thing.

Lucia's very, very important to you. Yes. And I think Lucia is even more important to me. Yeah. We have a real bond. You do. And again, I've been real careful not to step on any of your feelings. Yeah.

I've been very careful to be respectful of Maggie Cho. Yes. And now I'm going to ask one more favor. Is it okay for just maybe two minutes out of respect for Lucia? I do an interview with her. Do it. And you put her up on the table. And I talk to just have a few questions.

And you take a back seat for a moment. I love that. You're okay with this. Yeah, I'm here. Okay. Thank you. Can I prepare? Prepare.

Okay. I'm just going to get ready, okay? Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. I'm just getting ready here for Lucia. She's, like, giving you privacy. Yeah.

She's giving you really a lot of privacy. She's what? She's giving you a lot of privacy. Yeah. like really scared. Well, it's not easy to talk to one of the top talk show hosts in the Kynne world. It's very nervous.

I know. Well, that's, you know, it's her first talk show. Yeah. Me and you know, when was the first time you did Conan or the Tonight Show? Yeah, it was nerve-wrecking. Right. So scary. Okay.

Well, uh, look. She's not looking at you. Look at her. Look at her. Uh, Lucia. Go over there. Hey, you chase any good sticks this week or anything? Like anyone throw a nice stick or you had any good food handed off under the table,

you know, a meatball or a piece of bacon or anything? Not too chatty. Are you dating anyone? Hi. You seeing anyone at the moment? Wow. Okay, not going as good as I'd hope, but is there anything you want me to ask her, Maggie? Do you see if she'll be held? Do you want to see if she'll hold? Do you want to come in? Oh my God. I think I'm, I think she's just not used to being on a talk show.

She's just not being used to being interviewed by other dogs. Yeah, yeah. She's like really like, just. not into it. Okay, let's give a round of applause to our first canine guest. I'm Carmelcorn the Pug, and thanks for being here. Wow. Wow. Unbelievable.

I mean... I get it. You get nervous. How about now? What does she... Hi, she... Oh, look there. Oh, she didn't really like Carmelcorn the Pug.

She likes you. How about a peace offering? Oh, tender treats. She loves me. She loves you. Yeah. I think I want to have her puppies. Okay.

Is that something we can arrange? I think so. Wow. Good girl. I want to go back real quickly because, you know, as a Korean woman, and I don't mean to wobble my neck when I say that, but how often do I get to say that? Did you see what I did?

I want as a Korean woman. You wobbled. Why is that? I don't know. Why did you wobble it? It's the way it comes out. It's the cadence and it's the pairing, the marriage of the words. I've never had words that gave me a head wobble.

Yeah. Now you do. As a Korean woman, wow. Does it happen when you do it or no? Yeah. If you say Korean woman. What is that? What is that?

Wow. Wow. As a Korean woman, does, you're the only Korean woman I know in stand-up. And then on the other side, on the male side we have Bobby Lee, who's a Korean male comic.

Are you guys buddies? Yeah. And the reason I'm asking that is because as the only two Korean comedians that I'm aware of in the U.S., whenever I run into Canadian comedians, we have this silent sort of camaraderie. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's this connection because we're simply Canadian.

We came from the same place, we have the same heritage, the same background. And I don't want to generalize, you know, races and stuff. But with Bobby, did you ever have sort of that connection? Yeah, we're very close. Oh, can you tell me? I just love him. And what is it about the Korean connection that sort of...

We just have a lot of, a lot in common. You know, I feel like so affectionate towards him. And I think he's really funny. Yeah. And he's a good egg. And when you see him, is there kind of that, like what I have with Canadian guys, is there a bit of that silent, hey, my people type of thing? Yeah, of course.

Yeah, it's kind of nice, isn't it? Yeah, it's really, really beautiful. Yeah, to me it's like comfort food. Oh, live it. So it's like your putteen. Yeah, it's like other Canadians are like my Poutin. You're Poutine. So I wanted to see if you guys sort of had that camaraderie.

And I always thought, you know, not that you guys will ever get together, but I think Bobby likes men and women too. Oh, wow. No, I don't know. I just made that up. I don't think he does. I think he likes women. I know.

I'm kidding. But there's, there's an Asian name. I'm not sure if it's Korean, but I think it is where a last name and sometimes a middle name, fuck, F-U-K. Have you heard that? Yeah, I think it's, it could be, well, like, P-H-U-C. Oh, so P-H-U-C. Fuck.

It could be maybe Vietnamese. So this is my own little dream thing, and I hate to dump it on you, but if you and Bobby got together and you had a child and you named him FACC, he could, when the baby was born, you could all yell, Choli, fuck. Right? Yeah. And this is what I do. This is what we do at the Harlem Highway part.

We create, we, we throw ideas around. Create worlds. Yeah. You create worlds. Like your kid spills the milk. Oh, choli, fuck. I love it. So if you guys ever have a kid, what will you name them?

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Wow. We'll do it. We'll do it. Yeah. Do people in Korea, do they, is that like a comical thing that or is fuck more of a North American English, like, swear word. Koreans say Shibar.

Shibar. That means. Shibar, which is like, Shibar, Seqi, it's like son of a bitch. Okay. That's what they'll, that's like the bad word. But if you ran into someone with the name, fuck, P-H-U-K, is that, do even Korean and Asian people go, no, no, you wouldn't, you wouldn't think of it like that.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. So I want to ask you, because I love culture. I love, I love, there's, there's a mystique about Korean culture. I love it. And I wanted to ask you, have you been to Korea? Yes.

So on that theme of camaraderie and knowing your own and having that kind of feeling, talk to me about North Korea. Is there a hurt? Is there a hole inside of South Korean citizens where they wish everything was a whole? Yes. is North Korean seen as this poisonous cancer that sits atop. It is also that. It is.

There is also, it's still Korea. Yeah. So we still have relatives over there. You have relatives in North Korea? Yeah. Yeah. Korea was one country. It's not the fox, is it?

No, it isn't the fox. But who is it? The other shows. There are other shows. There's more chose. There's North Korea chose? Yeah. And did they chose to live there or did they?

No, they just got stuck. What? Oh, so what happened? Tell me that story. It got divided. The country got divided. Right. And then so some of them, almost like a hurricane, said, oh, we're getting out before the political storm. And others are, oh, we're going to stay. Yeah, they got stuck. Wow, does that hurt? Like, in the family, can you communicate with them? No. You can't even send mail? No.

Oh, my God. So you don't even know if they're alive or dead. No, we don't know. We don't know how they're doing. How many would you say are up there? I don't know, a lot. Wow. What's your, I was, I was going to ask you, I was going to say, well, do you, but I'll just say it, what would your dream be for the two Koreas in the future? I wish they would reunite and that we could actually have one Korea.

Yeah. That would be nice. Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah. I remember I lived in Germany when the wall came down. Wow. When the wall became down between East and West Germany. I actually got to go.

to the wall and hit it with a sledgehammer. I spray painted the Canadian flag on the, on the, on the, on the, the wall. With a maple leaf. Yeah, I did a maple leaf at checkpoint. It was right at checkpoint Charlie. It was fantastic. Amazing. And personally as a Canadian guy who didn't, who wasn't part of German heritage,

I was like, oh my God, this is fantastic. The, the east and the west, the, the, the country's uniting. It's, you know, the division of the wall is gone. and then I remember living there and asking some of my German friends like, how do you feel about this? Is this wonderful that you're reunited with the other half of your country?

Hell no, we don't like that. We got to pay for it all. And I was so bummed that, and it wasn't all of them, but a lot of the younger ones were like, no, we don't want this. Now, our taxes, we got to pay for all these new citizens.

And I was like, well, that's going to mend in the future. But it's funny that not all people, People want, you know, that resolution. Yeah, yeah. But to you, that's something that... I think they want it in Korea. I think they do. Is that something you ever think about or is that an oddity that I'm asking you this?

No, I think about it. You do? Yeah, I do. I hope that they can reunite and I hope that people from North Korea can have some freedom. Because they don't right now. Yeah. It's a very tough place to live. Yeah.

Sort of scary. They don't have a good time there, I don't think. Yeah, I don't think. I don't know that they know what a good time is. No. Because they're not allowed to know what a good time is. No, they don't allow them to have any fun. It's like their good time is let's go out in the driveway and play with some pebbles and a twig, you know?

No. You know, like they're not exposed to, I mean, I'm sure they have a good time, but they're not exposed to the, the plentiful world of things that exist that we know of. Oh, Maggie. They're missing out. They're missing out on this podcast. Well, not this one. Here's the kicker.

And if you want to say hi to the North Korean show, my podcast, and I've told this to my 12 listeners over the years, there's Donnie Dimpleface down in Boston. We have Marlene Mungo Tits over in North Carolina. And down just in San Diego, we got Larry Lump Nostrils. down there. Yeah. And they know this.

Mine's the only podcast that goes all over the world to every country. Rogan doesn't. Theo Vaughn. They can go suck a marmalade sandwich off the back of a wombat and a eucalyptus fire in Australia.

I'll say that to them. This is playing in North Korea right now, the Harland Highway. If you want to say hi to any of the shows, do you know any first names? No. What about Carol? Cho or Donnie.

Donnie Cho. It's up to, I don't know. Carol Cho. Oh, hi, Donnie and Carol Cho from the Harland Highway. Okay. Should we have a moment of silence? It feels like I like to follow the Chi. Do you pray?

Let's pray. We pray. Here's my prayer. Ready, Margaret? I pray that the good Lord someday soon, hopes resolution, finds resolution between the North and South Korean peoples

so that they can come together as one, reunite and reclaim their heritage, their proud heritage, their noble heritage, and everything that comes with it. That's my prayer to you today, Lord. Amen. Thank you.

That's a pretty good one. That's really good. Do you believe in prayer? Yes. Me too. I do. I do. I think it's nice. Good. It's beautiful. That's the thing. People don't realize it's free. It's free.

And the only upside to it is that you get what you prayed for. Right. And the downside is, oh, maybe I didn't get what I want. But I find with prayer, sometimes you get residual pieces of it. You know what I mean? Like you might say, oh, I pray that I'd get this or that. And you might not get the whole thing. But I think when you pray, it's heard. And sometimes I think you get pieces of it. of it that incrementally lead you to the whole thing. Yes, I love that.

Were you praying right now? Yeah. Can you want to do it out loud or no? Is it private? Yeah, it was between me and Lucia. Oh. Imagine if there was a giant meatloaf here right now. Can we do...

I pray for a meatloaf to be in our future really soon. Like a meatloaf that is bigger than the actual singer meatloaf. Yeah, it's a biggie. With ketchup. Gravy. And gravy. And caramelized onions. Talk to me.

And on a bed of mashed potatoes. Amen. Amen. A meatloaf. Well, just on the final thing about Korea, I've always my whole life, and I think a lot of my listeners are the same way. I've always wanted to learn a

Korean nursery rhyme song. Like, you know, here we have ring around the rosy, pocketful of, you know, that type of thing. Is there a way, do you know any, like, kiddie songs? Uh, muonghua, gochi peeves amni. That's like the, um, that's from the squid game. You know the, do you ever watch the squid game? Sure, I love ink. You know, the red light green light.

Yeah. That's what they're doing, the child's, like, like, like nursery rhyme and she's saying Mugungwa Kvichipi is that say it again Mugungwa

Gochipi Pia smitha Mugua gochi pee is Mugugugugui Pia smitha Didn't they get their

head shot off? Yeah Can we maybe do one about fluffy chickens or rabbits? That's the only one I know. You know the kids' song

about getting your, getting shot. That's all. Her head blown off. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Funny kids over there in Korea. Well, Maggie, let's do our final segment.

Oh, yeah. Chow down. You need a snack? By the way, these are pollinated, too. Yeah, stuff it. Our final segment, Maggie Cho. Can I just say what a pleasure it's been having you here. What a pleasure.

Thank you. And your dog's very first talk show appearance, terrified. Terrified. But that's stage fright. Not everyone's their first time they do it. She's so scared of the pug. Yeah, Carmelkorn, the pug. That was really hard for her.

It was. But the more she comes back, the more she'll get used to it. This is an authentic Dutch clog. Wow. It's full of words. What you do is you reach inside and pull a word. And if you have something that happened in your life and your journey that relates to the word, a story, maybe it's yours, maybe it's a friends.

Go for it. Haunted house. Oh, here we go. I think my house that I live in now is haunted. What? Because there was a dog that lived there when I was looking at the house, before I bought it. And her name was Tyler.

Oh, God. And she would sit outside on. outside of these like french doors and i could see her face in the window and um so after they moved out i kept seeing her in the window and i was like well that's funny i don't know why the dog is still here it's weird i kept seeing her i kept seeing her and then i talked to the owner later and he said oh no tyler died the day that we moved out she was 21 years old she loved that house but she died she hasn't been over there because she died so i i was like ah but i kept seeing her in the window.

And sometimes when it's dark out and I look out those French doors I can see a little basset hound face. It was a basset hound. There's a little basset hound named Tyler. She was 21. Oh my God.

I still see her. So I think I still live in the haunted house. Whoa. Whoa. So it's haunted by a dog. By a cute dog named Tyler. Wow. Sweet.

Wow. Underfoot has fleas. No. Ghost fleas. No. No. No. Dust mites?

No. The end. Wow. Did we understand? The end. The end. Is that the end of the podcast? Yeah, the end.

Ladies and gentlemen, what a way to end on the end. Folks, Margaret Cho here. Margaret, before we go, please plug anything you want to plug your comedy date. your band, your... I'm doing comedy all over the place. People can find out at margaretto.com. And I'm on Instagram at Margaret underscore Cho and on TikTok at the Margaret Cho.

Oh, wow. And that's just for your stand-up. What about your music? And my music is on there too. You can find your music. Yes, yes, everything. Oh, Maggie, so good to have you here. Any final words of wisdom for anyone watching

that you want to kind of pass along? I think that might be. Don't eat flowers unless they're pollinated. Exactly. That's you for today, ladies and gentlemen. Until next time, chicken chalemaine, baby. Yeah. You want to go pollinate?

Yeah, let's do it. Perfect. It ended. Hey, everybody. How would you like your very own personal video message from me yours truly it's your birthday it's your anniversary it's your graduation or you just want me to make you laugh you get to pick the topic you want me to discuss give me some talking points and off we go you can get it for yourself or get it for a friend it's super easy and fun just go to the

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